 Narcissists are junkies. Narcissists are people who lack discipline. They lack control over themselves and their behavior. They lack obedience and order because they never received any authoritative commands or instructions. No one ever told them what is right and what is wrong. No one ever told them that they're not supposed to do certain things. Instead they were surrounded by enablers their entire lives. People who encouraged their self-destructive behavior. People who made it possible. So they ended up becoming like unruly children. People who have a lack of discipline. Little monsters or spoiled brats. They behave badly and they're very difficult to control. Because they have this sense of arrogance and entitlement. They believe that they should have whatever they want. Without doing the work or paying the price. And not only that but they believe that they should be put first. Ahead of those who have done the work. Those who have suffered and gone through the trials and tribulations. Because they're not even acknowledging that. They're like children. All they see is the finished product. They don't acknowledge all of the hard work it took for you to get there. So they don't appreciate you. They take you for granted. Even though in most cases they couldn't achieve a fraction of what you've achieved. And yet they still believe that they are better and more deserving. Just because they think it in their minds. So they're delusional. They detach from reality. And it's all because of their ego. Their obsessive need for them to feel important. To feel like they're better than you. There isn't even any concrete evidence to justify their belief. They're just going off of their feelings. And they're using you to regulate their emotions. So they end up becoming like junkies. People who have a compulsive habit of keeping you down and feeding off your energy. To where it becomes an irresistible urge. They can't control themselves. They have to do it because it fascinates them. It excites them. They're like adrenaline and junkies. They have a compulsive desire for excitement and adventure. But at the same time they're very lazy so they want everything to be easy. They want everything to be handed to them on a plate. Even though they haven't even done the work to earn it. But they're addicted. They're mentally dependent on it. Because it's all they've ever known. They've never been taught a different way. So they develop these addictions to things that are bad and distasteful. Things that are self-destructive. Things that harm them and the people around them. Such as alcohol, drugs, video games, gambling, shopping and social media. And even cheating, lying and stealing. They're constantly engaged in these destructive and immoral acts. Because it feeds their ego. It makes them feel powerful and important. They're addicted to the dopamine hit that it gives them. This chemical that releases in their brain and makes them feel good. And dopamine isn't always a bad thing. It plays a role in pleasure, motivation and learning. But it's also linked to some major diseases. So the main concern is the type of behaviors and activities they're engaged in. To achieve these dopamine hits. And also how it affects them following the release of this chemical in their brain. Does it cause them to become more productive or compassionate? Or does it only fuel their disorder? Does it cause them to become even more narcissistic? And if it does, then it's probably not good for them and the people around them. Because it's destructive. It's causing great and irreparable damage. It's negative and unhelpful. It's not doing any good. Because what they really need is more oxytocin. Which is the love hormone. And it's associated with empathy, trust, sexual activity and relationship building. It may also have benefits as a treatment for a number of conditions. Including depression and anxiety, which is what many narcissists suffer from. And it may also play a part in the cause of their behavior. Because they use these toxic and dysfunctional behaviors to regulate their emotions. So that they can feel good. Oxytocin has physical and psychological effects. It influences social behavior and emotions. The problem is that they're self-absorbed and they lack empathy. So they cannot share your feelings or experience. They can't see you as a separate person with your own needs. So although they may engage with you in the beginning, you end up feeling neglected. You end up feeling left out as though something is wrong with you. You end up questioning your own worth by the time they're finished with you. Because deep down you know that you deserve better treatment. You're not just an object to be used. You value love, intimacy and connection. So this is the problem because that doesn't do anything for them. They're not interested in that and you can't stop yourself from wanting more. But they're also to blame because they're not making it clear to you from the beginning about their needs and desires. Because the reality is that they can't receive your love. No one ever taught them what love is. So by default in the game all they can do is devalue or reject you. Because although they may know that you want more, they also know that they can't give that to you. They're missing that component. It was never instilled in them as a child. So they don't even have it to give. It does nothing for them. They're not concerned about love or compassion. They're like robots. All they're concerned about is the end goal. Rather than the journey that it takes to get there. They're only interested in pleasure so that they can relieve their mood, depression and appetite. So they're never going to value you as a person. Or the hard work that it took for you to get to where you are today. That's never going to be a concern to them. Because all they care about is their own feelings and needs. And they're using you to meet their needs. That's your only purpose in the narcissist world. You have no use to them other than that. You're just a means to an end. So all they're concerned about is their own pleasure and excitement. While you're wanting something more meaningful and purposeful. Which creates a problem. It creates conflict. It causes an inconvenience for them. And it triggers them to reflect on their own insecurities about themselves. Because they already know that they're never going to be able to give that to you. They know they don't have any love to give. If they had that. They would have given it to you a long time ago. Because that would have locked you in even more. It would have kept you stuck as their source of supply. But they can't give you something they don't have. So in the end it just results in you feeling used. Like they just chewed you up and spat you out. Like your garbage. It makes you question your own worth. When the truth is that it actually has nothing to do with you. The problem is in their brains. Because they're missing this component of love, connection and intimacy. They don't have that or it does nothing for them. They're not fueled by oxytocin. Instead it's modobamine. This is what destroys every relationship they get into. It tears everything apart. And it's the reason why many of them end up dying alone. Because without that people aren't going to want to be around them. They already know that it's destructive. People would rather be alone than to be around someone who feels nothing. Someone who has no love to give. Because you already know that by default all they can do is use you. It's not going to serve a meaningful purpose. They're just going to elevate themselves at your expense. Because they're not connected to their soul. It's like there's no spiritual part of them. They're stuck in their ego. In the obsessive need for them to feel powerful and important. Which isn't always a bad thing. But there needs to be a balance. They need to know how to combine the two to achieve a worthwhile result. A result that is more productive. And holds a more meaningful purpose. But because they're not connected to their soul. It results in them being very selfish. But they're only concerned about their own needs. At the expense of everyone else. They're just going around using people to get their needs met. People who don't want to be used. People who know that they're deserving of something greater. But narcissists can't help themselves. They're addicts. They're junkies. They have no control over themselves. They have no discipline. They go around destroying everything that they come across. Because they can't attach. They can't hold on to anything. But they also can't detach. So they end up becoming obsessive stalkers. Where they can't leave things alone. But it's not because they love you or miss you. It's not because they're desiring love, connection or intimacy. It's all in their ego. They have this obsessive need to feel important. While you just want to be free. You just want to act as you wish and not be confined or imprisoned. You don't want to be under the control of another person. Who means you know well. Who only cares about their own needs. Needs which are not serving a suitable purpose. So you want to be independent and self-sufficient. You want to remove them from your life. Because you're not about what they're about. You hold different values and principles. So you're done. But they're so arrogant and audacious. They don't believe that you can move on without them. It eats away at them. And they see it as though you're just trying to get to them. They don't see it as though you're trying to find peace and contentment. Because it's all in their ego. They have a need to feel important. So they're trying to keep you stuck. Because your progression gets to them. It enters their ego and pride. So they become addicted to tearing you down. So that they can feel that sense of reward. So that they can feel important. As though they're better than you. They're constantly watching you. Because they're using you as a tool to regulate their emotions. You're unknowingly participating in their functioning. Because they just don't know how to let go. So they're constantly looking. They're watching everything you're doing. And they're trying to twist it around on you. They're telling themselves in their minds. That everything you're doing is related to them. Every post you're putting out is to get their attention. To get them to notice. Because at least then it gives them relevance and purpose. They're playing a part in something. It gives them a role. Even though you may not even be thinking about them. But you see them popping up. They're liking your posts. They're showing you that they're still there. So in the end you may just put something out to feed back to them. Not to manipulate them. But just to hold them at bay to prevent them from reaching an attack and affecting you. Because they're constantly intruding on your personal space. You can't get rid of them. They're always there and it's clear that they're trying to participate in something. So you let them have it. You give them what they want. Because you're thinking that it might end the conflict. You're thinking that it might fill their capacity and then they'll just leave you alone. But they're still there. They're still looking. They're still waiting to see what's the next thing you're going to do. Because they just can't get enough. They can't be satisfied. Because that dopamine hit is designed to leave them wanting more. It motivates them to come after you. To hunt you down. To pull you in because of their ego. They will always want more because they don't have what they need. They can't regulate their own emotions. And that doesn't mean you can just give them a hug or have sex with them. And then everything will be okay. Because oxytocin does nothing for them. They're not concerned about that. It doesn't even cross their minds. They're driven by their ego. By their obsessive need for them to feel important. So you can't just try to love them. Because they won't be able to receive it. And then they'll get triggered. And then they'll just want to destroy you even more. Because they can't need your love. And feel important at the same time. Something has to take precedence. And for them it's always their ego. It's always their need to feel important. Which is why they will always end up devaluing and discarding you. Or some of them may even reject you from the very beginning. They may not even give you a chance. Which in many ways they're just doing you a favor. Because then they're just weeding themselves out. But the problem is when they create the solution of them wanting more. That's what keeps you stuck. Because they attach to you but then they don't know how to detach. So then they end up becoming obsessive. They start stalking you. They won't leave you alone because they have their scarcity mindset. And they recognize that you are one of a kind. Deep down they already know that you're special and unique. Even though they may never tell you this. It's why they can't leave you alone. They genuinely believe that there is nobody else like you. They believe that you are one of a kind. You're as good as it gets. There's nothing greater than you. You're the most practical solution which will provide them with the maximum reasonable output. Of what they want. Which is satisfaction, pleasure and triumph. It's never love, intimacy or connection. Because they can't experience that. But they will settle for pleasure and satisfaction. The problem is they can't be satisfied. Because they're driven by their ego rather than their soul. And the ego always wants more. It craves power and importance rather than love and affection. So now they have to dominate and control you. They can't let you get away. Because although deep down they think you're very special and unique. And there's nobody else like you. They're actually very envious and jealous of you because you can't be theirs. They can't contain you like an object or a possession. So their desire turns into resentment. They feel like they've been treated unfairly. So now they turn against you. They try to dominate and control you. They try to crush you. But what it all comes down to. Is that they actually just wanted you to be theirs. In the way that they would prefer. Where they can just use you and abuse you. While not having to take accountability for their actions. Which is not what you want. You don't want to be treated like an object. You want to be loved, cherished and appreciated. By the person of your choice. By someone that you're attracted to. But if they can't have you. They will treat you with contempt. Now you're nothing. You're garbage. You're crazy. You're a problem. And they will use this narrative to try to dominate and control you. But the reality is that all along they just wanted you. They wanted to use you for their own selfish needs. And for the wrong purpose to which you intended. Because they recognized your power and value. And they knew that although it may never completely satisfied them. Because they can't be satisfied. It was as good as it was going to get for them. It wasn't going to get any better than that. Because again they're ego driven. They have the tendency to act to their own self interest. They have a need to prove themselves better than other people. So they never get to reach the higher levels. Of love, duty and compassion. Instead they're stuck at these lower energy levels. Where they're like junkies. They're addicts. They constantly need more. And they need you to sustain them. Because they already know that they're inadequate. They already know that they're no good. They know that you could do a far better job at making them feel good. Than they could ever do for themselves. Which is why they're heavily dependent on you. But they don't want to work as a team. They're not even trying to be better. Because they're constantly in survival mode. They believe it's every man for himself. As though everyone should look after their own interests. Rather than considering those of other people. Because they're emotionally bankrupt. They have a void inside of them that can never be filled. Because they lack self love. They're more concerned with their ego. And trying to be better than other people. Which is partly genetic. But it also comes from childhood trauma. They were abused and neglected as children. Or they were taught to develop a negative interpretation. Of an act or incident in childhood. Which resulted in trauma. They may also not have received enough eye contact or affection as a child. They weren't given enough love. And they weren't taught to love themselves. So now they run away from anything that appears like genuine love and affection. It tunes them off. It causes them to feel bored, disgusted and sexually repelled. They want nothing to do with it. Because these traumas that they experienced. Taught them that it is bad. It taught them a different version of love. Which they associate with their ego. With their need to feel important. Where it's all about what you do or what you have. What you achieve and obtain. Rather than who you actually are as a person. That was never a concern to their parents or caregivers. So they learned not to associate that with love. Instead it's all about this image. Who they were conditioned to be. Instead of who they wanted to be. And that is why you can't reach them. You can't penetrate the shell of a person. Because from day one they were taught not to feel emotions. So love, intimacy and connection does nothing for them. They know that other people want it. But they will only use it to manipulate you. So that they can get their dopamine hits. Because they can't metabolize the oxytocin. Which is why they will spend most of their time watching you and stalking you. Rather than actually engaging with you or getting to know you. Instead they will assign a role to you. And they will use it to diminish your value and achievements. Because it feeds their ego and makes them feel important. They deliberately and intentionally cut themselves off from reality. So that they can see you as less important. Because they can't bear the fact that you are greater than them. They attack your individuality to make you think of yourself in the same way. To trap you in this bubble. This false reality where you're worthless and insignificant. Where you serve no purpose. They will even make attacks against you behind your back. To make other people think of you in the same way. They will ignore you. They will roll their eyes. They will neglect to recommend you for an opportunity. They will refuse to serve as evidence or proof for you behind your back. They will inviously use any position of social standing in public to disrespect you. They will attack your strong points. They will attack your weak points. And they will despise your individuality. They have no interest in that. They have no interest in anything real. Which is how it's so easy for them to treat you in a cruel and unfair way. And prevent you from having opportunities and freedom. It's how it's so easy for them to discard you. Because they lack interest in anything real anyway. Which is why they will make false accusations about you. It's why they will sabotage your reputation and neglect and ignore you. They will make sarcastic jokes at your expense. They will treat with contempt. They will assault you in public. They will be a constant distraction and try to divert you away from your own individuality. By treating you as though you lack skill or ability. As though you're irrelevant. As though there's a lack of agreement or harmony. As though you're ugly or a danger to people. As though you're incompatible, inconsistent or so different in nature as to be incapable of co-existent. They will try to make you second guess yourself. They will govern you in an unfair and cruel way. And prevent you from having opportunities and freedom. They will impose inhumane burdens that you cannot endure. They will exact more than you can perform. Because they despise your individuality. They are envious and jealous. They recognize that you are special and unique. And they want to control and dominate you. They want to keep you as their possession against your will. So essentially, they are raping you. They're committing unlawful activity against your will and without your consent. They're coercing you into participating in things that you don't want to be a part of. By using force or threats rather than letting you decide for yourself. Because they already know that if it was up to you, you would resist and oppose them. You would say no. And they like it. That's what gives them that kick. But sometimes they may even take your no as a yes. Just because you're still there. They're crazy and they're delusional. They're so wrapped up in their false reality. That sometimes they don't even realize that you're not a willing participant. They don't even care. They hold on to false beliefs and judgments about external reality. Despite indeniable evidence to the contrary. So they're going to keep doing what they do. And there's no way for you to get food to them. They need help. They need to process their traumas. But they're never going to do that because they lack self-awareness. They have to see it as though you're a problem or a danger or a risk. Because that enables them to continue harassing and stalking you. Without that narrative. They would have nothing to justify their behavior. Even though any normal sane person would already see their behavior as unjustifiable. They would see it as not being right or reasonable. But narcissists are self-absorbed and they lack empathy. So there is no common understanding. They just see you as an object that they desire to use. So that they can feel better at your expense. So essentially they have a rapist mentality. They feel entitled to your body, mind and energy. Without your consent. Without your permission or agreement. They want it so they're going to take it whether you like it or not. Because they were taught not to have any boundaries or not to respect other people's boundaries. They were abused or neglected. Which resulted in a personality disorder or mental illness. Which is a response to their trauma. And it's something that never gets resolved because they can't self-reflect. So they're doomed. They're preordained. They have an unfortunate and inescapable outcome. Which is why you just need to avoid them at all costs. Because they mean you know well. So they're not going to be any good for you. They believe that life is unfair to them. So they feel entitled to take from you. They will act like they need your help. But they will only end up invalidating, devaluing and destroying you in the end. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel. You can donate at payable.me slash Narc Survivor. You can book a one-on-one with me on my website. It's Narc Survivor at the Code UK. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.