 Maybe you were chatting with a guy online and things seem to be going really well, but then suddenly he just disappears from the face of the earth. Or even worse, you actually go out on a few dates with a guy and you seem to like him a lot, but eventually he just stops returning your calls, texts and doesn't meet with you in person again. They call this ghosting and sadly lots of people do it, both men and women. Why? Because it's not always easy to tell the person face to face that you don't think that things are gonna work out. Because some people don't like, let's just be honest. Some people don't take it very well and a lot of people just try to avoid conflict whenever possible. So they ghost to avoid confrontation. Ghosting isn't going to stop. So let's just be real about it. So let's talk about eight reasons why guys do it. And at the end I'm gonna tell you what you wanna do if you want to reconnect with a guy who does this with you. So by the way, my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. Let's go over the eight different reasons why a guy might disappear and ghost on you. Pull away, disappear and ghost. So number one is bad timing. There's a fairly good chance that a guy might simply ghost you for a miscellaneous reason that has nothing to do with you but everything to do with bad timing. Remember, you're not always at fault when this happens. Things might come up for him. Something might be a bigger priority in his life where he feels he can't be in a relationship or whatever. And so sometimes the timing just isn't right even if the guy might be right for you and you guys might be right for each other if circumstances in his life were a little bit different. Number two, reason number two is he never invested in you. And so people value things that they work for and are invested in. And if he never invested in you or he never had the desire to want to invest in you and so he never had that kind of buy in there, then it can be really easy for a guy to completely walk away in that situation. And so you wanna make sure that a guy is investing in you from the very beginning. I talk a lot about this. Number three is his interest in you was purely physical and he doesn't wanna confront you about that. So sometimes if a guy likes you but he doesn't want to be with you for a long-term committed relationship, he might only be interested in something that's just purely physical with you. And it's a little bit different with most guys. There are plenty of women out there who just want physical interactions with guys. However, we see this a lot more with guys in our community where the woman wants something longer-term but the guy just wants something short-term and a lot of women seem not to understand why or how that can happen because a lot of times if they're not interested in the guy they're totally not interested in the guy at all. But he might actually just want something physical with you and if he feels that way and he feels like it's a lot of work in order to hook up with you, he might just end up disappearing. And so what you wanna think about this is like he's doing you a favor because this wasn't gonna go anywhere anyway. And by the way, if you're here with us in the chat make sure you say hi and tell us where you're watching this from. It's cool to see so many women from all over the world watching these live streams with us. So number four is he's afraid of being emotionally intimate or vulnerable with anyone and it's not just you. So let's get down to it. If you know for a fact that this guy was into you and then he went cold fast, there definitely was a reason and oftentimes it's because he feels the need to be intimate and vulnerable or maybe he needs, he feels like he needs to commit or that you're just this amazing awesome woman that he wanted to connect with. But in reality, he's kind of afraid of doing that because he's afraid of confronting himself. He's afraid of embarrassing himself. He's afraid of his own needs and wants and desires. And so he doesn't wanna open himself up to receiving scrutiny, possibly being embarrassed or kind of facing some of the fears or some of the past trauma or some of the things that he learned from his past that taught him that he shouldn't be emotionally intimate with somebody. So whatever the case, he might just like you too much for his own comfort. And so I know that can sound strange, but if he likes you a lot, but he's too scared of himself, he's too scared of a relationship, he's too scared of something serious, he's not in that stage in his life where he's ready to face some of his issues, then he might just disappear altogether. Number five is he's self-absorbed and he literally doesn't realize how bad he is when it comes to this. So sometimes you really do dodge a bullet with guys. So people with, we talk a little bit about this whole thing like classical narcissist personality disorder or personality behaviors, right? Where they're really into themselves. It's a classical definition of it. It's not the NPD definition, but classical narcissistic personality or sociopathic personalities. They often ghost people and dump lovers and betray their friends for no other reason other than complete self-absorption. And this kind of a guy, which there are a lot of women that do this as well, they're usually charming and very talkative at first and really interesting and really interested in you and they build you up a whole lot. A lot of times they're only aware of people who can help them or serve them or provide something for them. And so you don't wanna take it personally when they do that because you really are dodging a bullet in this case because you don't wanna be in a situation like that. Number six is you actually change. So you stop being the self-confident woman that you came across as when you first met him and then all of a sudden you started coming across as controlling or needy or something like that. And so I know this is more personal and a lot of women don't wanna hear this sometimes, but if you came across to him as you were really confident and then you got together and all of a sudden you started changing, you started getting really needy, you started doing things where you started chasing him, you started investing a whole lot of him, you put him on a pedestal and you were really like treating him like he was some kind of amazing person. You're this little person who feels like you're lucky to be with him, then it could end up turning into a situation where he feels like you really are lucky to be with him and that he could do better and he'll lose attraction for you and lose his desire to move forward and push things towards an actual real committed relationship with you. And that can happen. Sometimes it happens where he kinda slowly starts moving away, right? Especially if you guys are in deep and you're in there and you're like, oh, I love you. And he's like, yeah, I love you too, right? And what ends up happening is he starts moving away further and further and further, changing his attention to something else and it can end up turning into a problem, which is why I talk about following my system all the time because it's really, really important that you don't get into a situation like that. So number seven is the initial impression that he had of you was completely different from the real you. And sometimes this doesn't even have anything to do with you, because a lot of times what happens when we meet people and it doesn't matter whether it's like a romantic relationship or just friendships or anything like that, people do this a lot of times with celebrities where they'll go and they will see a celebrity and they think in their mind like, oh my God, this person is perfect and they have all these amazing traits and they're just this amazing person in the entire world and then they start meeting them and they talk to the celebrity and they realize that the celebrity puts their pants on one leg at a time, just like everybody else and has their own issues and their own problems and all that kind of stuff. And this actually happens a lot of times with men when they meet a woman and they are just like head over heels immediately. And you can usually tell this because they start talking about how they're gonna get married and what your kids' names are gonna be like and how they wanna fly around the world with you and they always wanna be with you together. And it's been like a week of you guys knowing each other and talking to each other, but he's all the way in already and you're just like, wait a second and some women get caught up in this and they buy into it because it feels good. Let's just be honest, right? And next thing you know, what ends up happening is that he starts having reality hit him, his issues start hitting him, the reality of who you are starts hitting him and it's not the same as the impression that he got when he first met you. And so what ends up happening is he ends up pulling away once he starts finding out and learning about the real you as a real person and which is totally fine. It's another one of those things where you don't wanna change yourself and you don't wanna try to fake it. You want somebody who really appreciates you for the reality of who you are or not just the fantasy of whatever they had in their mind when they met you. And so this can actually be a blessing as well. And number eight, number eight is the last one. And by the way, if you get what I'm talking about here, say I get it in the chat. If you don't get what I'm talking about right now, ask questions, whatever questions you have, I'm gonna go over the questions here in a little bit. So if you have any questions, ask them in the chat right now. Otherwise say I get it. Number eight, there is someone else. So lastly, let's just be very honest and admit that sometimes love isn't fair and it can be really competitive and sometimes it comes down to choices. And if he's dating more than one person, which if he's in the West, there's a pretty good possibility that he's out there dating a whole bunch of people like a lot of people are like most people are. And so what ends up happening is he ends up getting his attention pulled by somebody else and he just decides for whatever reason or he gets caught up in certain emotions or whatever. And next thing you know, he just faces out all the other options and goes after one woman and that woman doesn't happen to be you and that can suck when that happens. But again, don't settle on a guy who only gives you breadcrumbs. You want his full attention and you want a man that's not distracted by somebody else. So let him go and look for a better quality man. And so there are some things that you can do when a guy pulls away, if he pulls away and he ghosts on you, right? Some women are just like, yeah, you know what? Just move on and just go and don't talk to him ever again. And you can do that, right? That's definitely an option. If that's something that you wanna do and if you're following my system, it shouldn't be that big of a deal anyway if you're out and dating and you're following what I'm talking about and the principles that I talk about in my program, you shouldn't be all that caught up on one guy anyway. But let's say that you are and you're in a situation like this and you're like, what should I do? Well, there's a few different things that you can do. One is you can kind of test to see what's going on with the guy that ghosted you or disappeared on you or pulled away from you, right? If it's been a few days, you can just send him a text message and just ask him something, ask him a really innocent question or just say something where you're thinking about him or something like that and see if he responds and see how he responds, right? And if it doesn't go well, that's fine, right? You can move on with your life, but it's one of those things where a lot of guys, if they don't contact a woman, a lot of guys know that if they pull back, even if it's for something legitimate and they don't contact a woman for a few days, sometimes when they come back, women will attack them and berate them. I've had it done to me a few times in my life, right? And it was totally innocent. I had no idea that they thought I was playing games, they thought I was pulling away, they thought I didn't like them, all kinds of things, right? And I come back and I say hi and they like freak out on me and attack me and it was just like, okay, I guess we aren't gonna talk anymore. And so what you can do is show him that you're not mad at him, right? Show him that you're not gonna attack him or something if he talks to you and contacts you because right when he starts talking to you again is not the time. If you do want to address that issue and talk about your emotions and how you feel about the whole thing, the time to do it is not when he starts talking to you again. There's a time for it and it's later on, right? Not when he just starts talking to you because what that does is it makes him feel like he doesn't want to reach out to you. If you want to have that kind of a conversation, you want to do it in person. That way he's invested, he's there, he's sitting there. You guys are in conversation and it's a piece of a conversation that you're having and not the entire interaction that you're having. Another way, so the testing part is you send him out a message and if you want a really great, I have a forward message that you can send a guy if you're really interested in sending a message to a guy and finding out what's going on and kind of giving him a shock to his system and making him go, okay, yeah, you know what? I'm gonna contact her or you're right. We've had guys that have apologized and been like, hey, I'm really sorry. I was really busy and let me make it up to you and take you out on a date or do whatever, right? And so you can get into that situation with this forward text message that I have and you can get it at the foreverwomanformula.com. It's a part of my program there, so you should definitely check that out, foreverwomanformula.com. So yep, it's right here. Foreverwomanformula.com, go check it out. All right, so what questions do we have about things? Mitzi says, hi everyone, praying for all of us to have strength and healing. Well, you know what? I appreciate you praying for all of us having strength and healing. So thanks, Mitzi. Let's see, triple file sign says I'm exhausted from trying so hard to see why he pulls away no matter how supportive I am. He won't tell me what is the problem, advice please. Well, it depends on what you're talking about in terms of pulling away, right? Cause some women are like, okay, a guy pulls away and it's like, you know, it's like a day, right? He like doesn't contact her for a day. We have women in our community that bring this up sometimes. They're like, normally I talk to them every day and it's been a whole day, well, is everything okay? What's going on? What should I do? And it's like, you know, people have lives, like that can be a normal thing, right? However, if it's one of those things where he disappears for weeks or months at a time, now that's a completely different story. And so we need to know a little bit more context about how often this guy's pulling away and for what time periods and what is he saying when he comes back and like, what's going on? Tell us a little bit more about your situation, triple fire sign and we will talk about it. So Maribeth says, wondering why my man now just friends while he deploys wanted to know if I resented him in any way. Mention my one thing, not being into fam and friends. And he said, I have red flags. What? Yeah, I mean, I don't, he mentioned one thing being not, not being into, not being intro to family or friends. Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, you might wanna, if he's saying that you have some red flags, you might wanna ask him about that. Just ask him, like, what are you talking about? What kind of red flags are you talking about, right? If you guys are having conversation about this, like continue to have a conversation, right? The guy says like, hey, you have some red flags, right? You might wanna be like, what are you talking about? Like what red flags do I have? Don't come and ask us, right? What red flags do you have? We don't know, I don't know who you are, right? Like, or if you're a part of our community, you can ask women in our community and tell them more about the conversation or you can talk more about what he said here. But you definitely wanna have a conversation with him about that and actually ask him what he's talking about in terms of the red flags. So Mitzi says, I have found a way not to upset him and I worry about there are things in my life that I really need attention more. And if you want attention, that's when I respond, telling him what I need, okay? Hello, hello, hello, hello from lots of people, Tanzania. Namibia. Hello, hello, hello. Linda says, hello, Matthew. I love your program. Well, I'm glad that you love my program. Thanks for being here. Let's see, Linda says, hi, Matthew. My new boyfriend and I started out great and he was investing in me, but he has gone quiet three weeks after his father passed away. Do I need to continue to lean back? Yeah, I would say that if he has, I mean, if his father passed away and it's just been a couple of weeks and, you know, there's a, he could, I mean, it could be one of those things where some guys have issues, you can reach out to him, right? If it's been, you know, three weeks, has it been three weeks? If it has been three weeks, you can definitely reach out to him and say something to him and just let him know that you're thinking about him and, you know, that you hope he's doing well. It's not a big deal to do that, right? Sometimes women are like, oh, you know, you should never reach out, you should never initiate contact. I totally disagree with that, especially if a guy's going through a situation like that, right? He's gonna want, he might want some alone time. He might want to talk to somebody who knows what he might want, right? And everybody has different kind of rules for what different things mean, right? So he might have a rule for what it means for when somebody actually cares about him and it might be that you need to reach out to him, but you don't know unless you are in kind of a deeper relationship with him and you learn more about what's going on with him when he's having issues and troubles and stuff like that. But, you know, the death of a father, it's one of those things for some people, if that can, you know, for a lot of people that impacts them for the rest of their life and it, you know, can impact them in different ways depending on the meaning that he associates with the incident. So it really depends, really depends. Let's see. Linda says, hi, Matthew, thank you for this. I was recently ghosted. It was a committed LTR. He was invested, still don't know what happened. However, I am okay with not knowing as I have started chatting with others. And I'm grateful because I'm pretty sure I dodged a bullet. Well, I mean, if you dodged a bullet, that's awesome. And I'm, you know, I mean, it sucks. You know, it can suck when it happens. Like it can be really painful and it can feel like you have issues and you lost a part of yourself and all kinds of other things. But if they had bigger issues, it might be better for you that they left and it'll give you some time to rethink things and get more rational thoughts about the situation and how you feel and what you really need for yourself. CJ says, great topic. You look great as well, Matt. Well, thank you, CJ. I appreciate it. Hi, Matthew. Ne says, hi, Matthew. I normally tell a man if I'm not into him, I've been called a few obscene names as a result but most just say thanks for your honesty. Yeah. And it's one of those things. That's why a lot of people ghost, right? Men and women. Women do it a little bit more than men do, statistically speaking. But at the same time, everybody's ghosting right now. A huge portion of the population, they just ghost each other because people are learning about having not really superficial relationships and interactions with each other. It's being pushed by the media and the culture right now. So it's one of those things that you have to deal with and just don't take it personally because it's gonna happen and it happens a lot and it can be painful. And at the same time, you just have to learn to let go, right? And get some practice at letting go if this is something that happens to you a lot in your dating life. If you're dating a lot, it probably will happen a lot, right? And you just have to let go of it and move on with your life. And if you want to, you can like what I said, test them with that forward text message that I have in the forever woman program or not, just move on with your life, either way. Sandra said, you just hit it right, Matt. He's afraid of involvement thinking he could be hurt. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of people that are hurt. And so, yep. PD says, why can't his love be strong enough to forget about that? Just like women. Well, not all women are like, oh, I feel strong. This love is so strong that I'll forget about it, right? Your love might be like that women, not so much. If you're a man and you date women, you know that that's not true. It's a problem with everybody, right? Like everybody has these problems where they're afraid, they're scared, right? They have issues from their past, they've been hurt in their past. And so they're like, what do I do? Do I try to make things work? Do I get into this relationship? Do I put myself in another situation where I can be hurt again? And if you believe that something good is coming in your life and that you're learning from your mistakes and the meaning that you create is that things are happening for you and not to you and that it's making you a stronger person and it's giving you reason to be stronger and to fight for something in your life, then you will kind of overcome it. And if it's not, then you won't. CJ says, always spot on on your topics and thanks for the great advice and telling it like it is, okay. You're welcome, you're welcome. Not sure what else to do other than tell it like it is, right? I guess I could be really, really nice and say sweet things that aren't true, but I don't do that, I don't do that. Sandra says, you're so awesome with common sense. Thank you so much. Well, you are welcome so much. Yeah, Maui Girl says, Aloha from Maui, happily married marriage counselor here. Great advice, hang in there. Your partner is a direct reflection of you so honor yourself, I get it. Thanks for saying that, Maui Girl. Thank you for saying it. Lots of people that get it, get it, get it, get it, get it. Good it, good it. So Shirley says, Matt, mine is issue number four where he is afraid of falling in love because of previous heartbreak. What do I do? Well, there's only so much that you can do, right, in terms of getting him to start doing things. There's two different routes that you can go. First route that I suggest you go is making sure that you have the forever woman program because that program will help you navigate through a lot of this stuff and connect with him in ways where he feels like he doesn't ever wanna lose you, he doesn't wanna let you go, he's afraid of losing you. And so if he feels that way, he's far more likely to decide that he wants to break through this stuff and move towards you, right? And so if he feels a strong desire towards you and he's moving towards you and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. If we aren't having a real relationship here, I'm not interested. You know, I think you're awesome and I think you're amazing and we have great times together and we connect so well on so many different levels, but if you're not going to be in a committed relationship and connect with me in a vulnerable way and all these things, then how long can this really last for me? I'm not gonna feel fulfilled and get all my needs met in this relationship. And so I want that from the beginning. And I'd love to have it with you, but if you decide that, you know, you're gonna let your fear about the past and what happened in your past take over and control you, then maybe we're just not right for each other and that's okay. You know, I think you're great and whatever, right? And you know, I hope you, I wish you well. And if you decide that you do want to face some of those fears and do this, you can contact me. And if I'm still single at that time, then sure, maybe we can, you know, maybe we can talk about it some more. And so it's one of those things like that from that standpoint, that is, it's kind of like a power play, right? And sometimes women are like, oh, you know, like, oh, the power thing, you know, I just want to equal power. And you do want to equal power once you're in a relationship together. But before that, you want to be in a situation where you are able to get what it is that you want. And the best, most powerful position that you can be in by far is the position where you're willing to walk away like legitimately. A lot of women are like, oh, ultimatums, they don't work. And it's only true that ultimatums don't work if you're not serious, right? If you're like, hey, either you do this or I'm walking away and they're like, I'm secretly not going to walk away. And he calls your bluff and they're like, oh, okay, well, ultimatums don't work. And it's like, the ultimatum didn't work because you were trying to manipulate them. The ultimatum does work if you say it because you're saying it in a genuine way and you're like, hey, you know, this is what I want and I value myself and I love myself. And I think highly enough of myself that I'm not willing to get into a situation that doesn't serve me. And the other thing that you can do because some women are kind of weird about doing that kind of stuff because they're stuck on one guy and this is the only guy that they want and they don't want any other guy and so they wanna make it work with him and at the same time, what they're doing is they're setting themselves up for failure ultimately but if you wanna try it, which it can work sometimes if he's kind of on the brink, right? And he sees how awesome and amazing this could be but he's kind of on the fence about it and he's like, oh, I'm not really sure what you can do is you can encourage any of that kind of behavior by framing it, right? And what you do to frame it is you talk and you talk about how attractive it is when other people do that, when your friends do that, when he does that, right? Like how much you like it, how much it makes you feel close, how much it makes you feel cared for, how much it makes you feel whatever when somebody in your life does things where they open up and they're vulnerable and all that kind of stuff. And if you ever catch him doing stuff where he's opening up and being vulnerable, you don't wanna make a huge deal out of it and you're like, woo, party, you know, you were just opening vulnerable with me, you know. What you do wanna do though is just talk about it and say how attractive it is and how you like it and how you feel really close to him and all that kind of stuff from him doing that, right? And what that will do is it will start creating kind of a new association in his brain where he starts looking at it and going, oh, okay, this is something that I can do. This is something that gives me pleasure when I do it. It's not as bad as I thought it was. Maybe it's safe, you know, it's been safe in the past around her. Maybe I can start doing it more and more and more. And if you do that and it starts stacking on top of itself, he might end up breaking through it. If he's completely against it, right, then you do need to walk away, right? But if he's not completely against it, if he's kind of on the fence about it and you can tell he wants to do it but he's still a little bit scared, then just framing it in a way that it's attractive and it makes you happy and it makes you feel close and that, you know, it makes you feel like he's a strong, powerful man and that, you know, you feel like you're really taking care of and closer and, you know, you know, feeling really great and attracted and all those kinds of things when he does that, then it can end up working out. All right, I hope that answered your question, Shirley. Group adieu, let's see. Zoa says, he decided for us to just stay friends. His love language is affection and it makes him sad not being able to spend time with me during this quarantine. Yeah, I mean, it can definitely be a difficult thing when you are quarantined and you like physical touch. That can be, that can be a difficult thing. Janet says, yep, I started to spend too much time with him and both of us were putting other relationships and activities on hold, but rather than trying to work it out, he broke it off. He was so crazy, intense, early and swept me off my feet. We were exclusive and then it was done. Then I found the forever woman. I won't be making the same mistake. Awesome, Janet. And I hope that you use the forever woman and you use the principles in it because it's changed some women's lives in our community. A lot of women have turned around their dating, gotten into great relationships. Some of them have gotten married. Some of the women that are married have turned their marriages around by using the principles in the program. So if you don't have the program yet, go get it. It's at the foreverwomanformula.com. You should definitely check it out. So sweet, cheer-alicious says, I got two mats. I got it two mats. I use my feminine energy. Yeah, you're right. Follow your advice will. All right. Tina says, I don't mind him choosing another woman. I just need the guy to be honest. How can I ask him if he has someone else? Well, if he does have somebody else, I mean, it's one of those things where it doesn't matter anymore, right? If a guy pulls away, it's one of those things where a lot of women are like, that they want to tiptoe around it because they're like, okay, well the guy pulled away and he disappeared. And you have two options, right? The first option is try to work things out with him. And if you do work things out with him, then there's one path that you can go down with that, right? And if you want, if you think it's done and it's over and you don't care anymore and you just want some closure, which by the way, I believe is a little bit overrated. But if you do want that, then just ask him, right? Because it doesn't matter. It's not like you're planning on seeing him again or anything is gonna come from it again. And so you're gonna ask him whatever you want to and it doesn't matter. Which is why a lot of people ghost by the way, because they feel like it just doesn't matter anymore. And so it doesn't matter what they do because they're never gonna talk to the person again. So Michelle says, would a man come to understand and respect your values in the end? Would setting boundaries get him in the right spot? How far can you do? How long should you give him to come around? Well, it kind of depends on your situation, right? So it's some women are, they're very like, okay, so they talk to a guy, right? And they've been talking to him for a couple of days and then he disappears for, you know, he sets up a date and then he disappears for, you know, five or six days or something like that until the date, right? And some women are like, oh my God, and they freak out then, you know? But if your situation is like, he's actually, you know, if that's your situation, you should be using my system and it shouldn't matter anyway because you should be dating enough that all your focus isn't on one guy and you shouldn't be attached to what one guy does, right? That's the power of abundance, right? Not having abundance is being stuck on one dude and being like, what's gonna happen with him? And why can't I get him to do it, right? He's the one I want and he's all I've ever wanted my entire life. Wow, can I get him to be the one I want, right? But he doesn't want you or whatever, right? And so you have to, or, you know, some normal things are going on and you're just blowing it out of proportion, which happens a lot. And so what you wanna do is you wanna figure out what's actually going on, right? I'm just gonna assume, Michelle, that you're in a relationship and so, you know, I'm not sure what your situation is as far as him disappearing, but if he doesn't talk to you for a couple of weeks, right? You might as well just assume that it's pretty much over at that point and you can kind of do whatever it is that you want to, right? My suggestion, if it's been a couple of weeks since he's contacted you, then what you should do is do the test that I'm talking about where you send him some kind of message and just kind of re-initiate conversation with him so you can start kind of a dialogue about what's going on and all that kind of stuff. If, you know, but another thing that you said here is, you know, would a man come to understand and respect your values in the end? And, you know, what that makes me think you're talking about, and I'm not sure because we aren't having a real conversation here, is that you have some values and you communicated those values and he didn't like those values. And if that's the case, then there's a high probability chance that you're never gonna talk to him again. And even if he does respect your values, if your values are misaligned with his, there's a good chance that he's not gonna want something real with you at all. And so, I mean, I don't know why you'd want to pursue that anyway. Can you use boundaries in that case? Potentially, it depends on what you're talking about, but we don't have any actual information about what you're really talking about here, so it's difficult to answer that question. Facebook user says, almost 20 years with my partner and he left me for another one. Well, I am sorry to hear that anonymous Facebook user. That definitely is a horrible feeling and that can be really tough. So I'm sorry to hear that. What you need to do at this point for you is to shift the meaning that you have around it and make sure that you're creating meaning around it that makes it so that you feel like it's making you a stronger person and that it's making you more capable and it's giving you reason to fight and be stronger and to create a better life for yourself. So Jessica says, how do I identify which reason made him pull away? He seemed genuinely interested for a long time, but suddenly it's, I can't handle a girlfriend. Well, if he says that I can't handle a girlfriend, what that means is that he has some kind of issue that's going on in his life where he doesn't wanna deal with having a girlfriend, because being in a relationship requires an investment and requires an investment of time, energy, money, emotion, you know, everything, it's an investment of everything. And so if he decides that he's not in a place in his life where he can invest just one of those things, right? If he's like, hey, I don't have any money and so I can't deal with this because going on these dates with this woman is making me broke, right? Which is a common problem. Then he might be like, you know what, I'm not doing it, right? I don't wanna girlfriend because I don't wanna have to drive her around. I don't wanna have to buy her stuff. I don't want to have to take her on dates. I don't wanna have to do all this stuff, right? Or it could be that he's like, I don't want to emotionally invest because I have some issues from my past that I haven't dealt with that I don't wanna deal with now, right? And so it could be any one of those things and you're not gonna know, right? You're not gonna know unless you talk to him about it. And even then if you talk to him about it and he tells you, it's like, what's that gonna matter? Right, it doesn't matter. What you should do is you should shift your focus and focus on the things that you want in your life and what you wanna create in your life and getting into the relationship that you want, creating the emotional experiences that you want in yourself because you can create those emotional experiences in yourself and just let go of the fact that you don't know what it is that he disappeared for. And I mean, it kind of sucks, right? Cause you're not getting any closure, but what's that closure really gonna do for you? You're gonna go, oh, I knew, now I know. He doesn't have any money, you know? And you go, well, that doesn't matter, right? And you tell him, oh, it doesn't matter. And he's like, it matters to me, right? Cause sometimes things matter to guys that don't matter to women sometimes. Cause a lot of women will be like, I don't care if he has money or not, right? I want a boyfriend and I want to be connected and I really like you. And so, you know, like let's do this. And the guy's like, no, because he feels like he needs to be a provider and he feels like he needs to be a man. And a lot of guys, if they don't have money, they don't feel like they're men and they don't feel like they can be providers and that they can be the type of man that a woman would want to be with. And that's very important, very important to men. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. So, hey, you synth, the you synth says, it's shame that I didn't know anything about dating and I'm very sad that I sabotage all my relationships. Do you think it's wise for me to reach out to my ex and apologize? No, I do not. I mean, it depends. Depends on what your situation is, but my suggestion is that you get my program, The Forever Woman, and you follow that and get it at the foreverwomanformula.com. I'm also putting together an ex back system right now for a coaching system, because a lot of women have requested that. And so we're putting together a really powerful how to get your ex back coaching system from the last, I don't know how many, six years or whatever that we've been helping women get back with their exes and we've learned a lot of information in that time. And so we're putting together a new system for that. If you're interested in that, it'll be coming out soon. Not on this Facebook user said, yes, I would like to know the text forward text message. We'll go to the foreverwomanformula.com and you can get it for free, my system's free, you can get it, get it for free. And just go there and do that. Shannon said, what if we had an amazing date and now in quarantine, he's told me he hasn't meant to be distant, but he doesn't know what he wants and needs to work on himself and gather his thoughts? Well, I'd say that's a pretty rational thing to do, right? You know, in quarantine, I mean, he's probably rethinking his life right now, right? A lot of people are, a lot of people since they've been in quarantine are getting back with exes, getting back with their former people that they're married to, ex-wives, ex-husbands. Lots of people are getting back with their exes right now. Lots of people are getting serious with people that they're dating. Lots of guys are getting very serious with the women that they're dating because things like this come up and all of a sudden, reality starts smacking people in the face and they go, you know what? I really care about being in a relationship with somebody that I love and somebody that loves me. You know what? I'm gonna go and do that. And so that could be something that he's doing on right now, that he's doing right now. Who knows, right? And so it's one of those things where it's like, yeah, I mean, you might've had an amazing date and now he's talking about how he's starting to rethink his life and what's important to him. And it could be something else from his past that's really important to him. That would be my first guess. Ali says, hi, Matt, my problem is number seven. I'm looking over this thing like a ninja. All right, so hi, Matt, my problem is number seven. Suddenly he is all in, has bought an engagement ring. I keep reminding him that we need to meet personally before that happens. Ali, I'm just gonna throw this out there. He says he's been looking for me for five years. He says everything you need to hear, everything you can wanna hear. I mean, all the right things. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like he's a scammer to me, Ali. Sounds like he's faking it. This is typically what happens, right? He's been looking for you for five years. He's never met you, but he's bought an engagement ring and he's saying all the right things. He sounds like he's actually gonna scam you here in a bit. So if he starts asking you for money for iTunes cards or whatever, don't give him any money. He's a scammer, probably. There's a 99% chance that he is going to try to scam you out of money. And so my suggestion is that you don't fall for that scam. And if he's not gonna scam you out of money, he's a psychopath, right? Who falls in love with a woman that he's never met for, you know, after three weeks, buys an engagement ring and wants to get married to her. Yeah, sounds like a psychopath to me. So my suggestion is you stop talking to that guy. All right, Zoya says, he decided for us just this, oh, I think we already talked about this. We decided to put our feelings on pause and try again and make things work once this pandemic blows over. I'm confused if I should wait and risk it or just move on. I'm afraid of getting hurt in the end. Well, I mean, everybody's afraid of getting hurt, right? And it's one of those things where it's, if you're using my system, which it sounds like you're not, then it wouldn't be a big deal either way. And so my suggestion is that what you do is get my system at the foreverwomanformula.com, build some abundance in yourself and get to a space where you're not feeling so stuck on this one dude and is it gonna happen? Are things gonna work out with this one guy and all that kind of stuff, right? And get yourself into a situation where the guy's investing and he's stepping up and he's doing all the things, you are protecting yourself, you're communicating your power and you're putting yourself in a position where you value yourself and you love yourself and you know that you're only going to get into a situation that you absolutely deserve. And that's what my program at the foreverwomanformula does foreverwomanformula.com. Check it out. Check it out. Don says, I have been texting, I've been talking by text with a guy for a few weeks. We agreed to meet, he asked me what day, then he went quiet and I asked him three times for the address to meet each other, he never responded. Yeah, I mean, you should definitely stop messaging him. Anonymous Facebook user said, I don't think the forward message works. It works. No, we've had some women use the text message and it's had miraculous results. I mean, we've had women get all kinds of amazing results from it. And it also does depend on your situation, right? It's not a cure-all. And sending a forward text message, that's not all you need, right? You need the whole system. If you just go in and get the text message and you send the text message and it works, what are you gonna do next, right? If you just go back into the same thing that you're always doing and he pulls away again, are you gonna send him the same text message over again? You know? No, what you should do is get the system and learn the system and use the system. So it's not just about the forward text message, it's about the whole system. And you need to learn the whole system and not just make it about the forward text message. Doop-de-doop-de-do. Let's see, let's look for a good question here. Bom-ba-dum-ba-dum. April says, I love when we get angry people posting. April says, why are your comments about men? What about women? Men are such selfish pricks unlike women. April, it sounds like you've never dated women before and I'll just leave it at that. You should try dating women and then come back when you think that, that men are just the selfish pricks and not women. So anonymous Facebook user says, I've tried everything and I can't seem to say the right thing to him. I'm nice, apologetic, understanding and nothing works. Well, being nice, apologetic and understanding isn't necessarily what you need to be with a guy, right? So it depends on the situation because one of the things that I talk about is men seek value, right? And so if he's gonna seek a source of value and when you become that source of value, that's what's important is being a source of value, being a woman who believes in her own value, being a woman who lives her life in value and being a woman who pulls her man up in value, right? Who raises him in value. And when you do that, what ends up happening is he starts seeking you and he'll want to be around you and he'll want to be in your presence but you have to communicate that value and you have to become a source of value. Somebody who really believes that you deserve amazing and great things in your life, you deserve a man who chases you and does all those things, right? Because if you were in that position, you wouldn't be saying, I've tried everything and I can't seem to say the right thing to him, I'm nice, apologetic and understanding because if you said those, if you were coming from that space, you wouldn't be saying that, right? Women who really come from a space of believing in their value, the way that they start interacting with men and communicating with men completely changes and they stop going, oh, I'm trying to do this super friendship method where I'm so friendly to him and he knows how friendly I am and I'm so apologetic and I'm so nice and I'm so understanding, right? Because that's not what creates attraction in men, right? That might make for good friends with your buddies but that's not what creates attraction and you want him to be attracted to you and you want him to move forward towards you and invest in you and it's a different interaction, right? Like a lot of women, they have guys who tried this method with them a lot, right? Where the guy will be really nice and he'll be really apologetic and next thing you know, she's telling them all about her problems with her boyfriend or the guy that she's dating and he's like, man, I wish she'd date me. Why doesn't she date me, right? Because you're not attracted to a guy that's just nice and apologetic and understanding, right? You want him to be a man. You want him to be strong. You want him to be masculine. You want him to take charge. You want him to be a leader. You want him to, you know, like step up and if he's not doing those things then you're not gonna feel attracted to him and it's the same situation but with women, as a woman attracting a guy you need to connect with him in a different way, right? And I teach all about how to do that in the forever woman program, the foreverwomanformula.com. If you don't have it yet, you should definitely get it and make sure you go over it a whole bunch of times. 10 times I say. 10 times I say, go over it at least 10 times. That is the magical number. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Okay, so a lot of women come to me because they're in these challenging situations and they want to attract a man who really sees them and loves them and cherishes them for who they are, right? They want to get into a committed, lasting, long-term relationship. And we live in this culture right now where a lot of men are pulling away, they're disappearing, they're ghosting, right? A lot of guys are just looking for casual hookups. A lot of women are too, by the way. A lot of guys are looking for casual hookups and you need to reposition yourself. You need to change the way that you're communicating and you're interacting with men. You need to position yourself in value. You need to believe in your value and you need to communicate your value. And when you do those things, you will start to change the way that you interact with men and men will start to change the way that they interact with you and they will see you in a completely different light and they will almost seem like they have changed but they haven't changed. You're just connecting with them in a different way in a more powerful way and a way that makes them crave you in a way that makes them start to value you and start to see you in a different light and go, oh man, I didn't know she was so amazing and awesome and beautiful and charming and great. I want to invest in her and pursue her and follow her to the ends of the earth and create an amazing relationship with her, right? And that's what you need to do. And that's why I put together a great program. It's called The Forever Woman. You can get it at theforeverwomanformula.com and it will teach you how to connect with men in the most powerful way. I suggest everybody gets it. You can go to the website, theforeverwomanformula.com, watch the video there, pick up the program. You can get it for free and you'll have a chance to join our community. If you wanna join our community and be a part of it for a monthly fee, you can do that as well. And so go check it out, join our community and thank you so much for being here with us today. I am so honored by all the women who follow my stuff and comment and share and subscribe to our channel and our websites and all the women that are part of our community. We have some of the smartest, most beautiful, amazing women who are a part of our community. So thank you so much for being with us here and I appreciate every single one of you and I'm gonna get going. I gotta go floss my cat's teeth and water my penguin or my cactus or something like that. Anyway, I gotta get going. Thank you so much for being here with me today and I will speak with you again next week and always remember, you are worth it.