 If you're a nomad or you're thinking about going mobile, you might be wondering if having a relationship on the road is even possible. You might wanna meet somebody on the road and you may have no interest in doing that at all. But if you do meet somebody and they're not mobile, how do you keep that relationship going? And if you do travel together, how do you even make that work? Well, today, I'm finally gonna tell you guys my situation and how I make it work and I'm also gonna give you some information I found from the dozens of other nomads that I've interviewed along the way. Hey everybody, it's Robin with Creativity RV and today I'm gonna talk to you guys about relationships. This is episode 26 of Be a Nomad, Change Your Life, my Sunday series where I try and give you every tip and trick you need to go mobile. If you haven't seen the other videos on this series, a link for the playlist is below. But today, I'm gonna talk to you about kind of a big issue, which is relationships. And, you know, you might wanna hit the road and you're solo and you just wanna be solo and that's it and that's totally fine. A lot of people I meet are solo and they have no interest in finding a relationship. But some people wanna meet somebody on the road, so I've got some tips for how to do that. And if you do meet somebody and you're on the road and they're not, how do you even make that work? That's what I do, so I'm gonna talk to you about that. And then I'm gonna talk to you about what I've learned from some other nomads that are couples that are already on the road and they do make it work. I've met a lot of people like this. So let's go ahead and talk about it. If you wanna be in a relationship and you're on the road or you wanna be on the road, the first thing that's key is that you have the right person. I mean, not everybody wants to live this life. I know that I do and my partner is not on the road and of course I'm gonna tell you guys about that in a minute. But the first thing that comes to mind is the interview that I did with Bob Wells from Cheap RV Living. At that point, I wasn't even doing YouTube. I just had a travel blog and Bob, during this interview and our long conversation afterwards actually convinced me to do YouTube. So thanks, Bob. But since then, I've interviewed dozens of nomads for my blog and also for an upcoming book and Bob's really sticks out. I'll put a link for the interview below. But you know, Bob was a nomad for a long time and then he met somebody, they got married. She had a job that she thought she could make mobile and that was the ultimate plan but then she changed her mind and Bob didn't want to stay in a house and she didn't wanna go permanently on the road. She just wanted to stay home and then travel and come back home. And ultimately, Bob decided that that wasn't gonna work for him. What they wanted out of their lives were just too different. So you guys know, Bob decided the nomadic life was for him and he hit the road and he's been on the road for a long time and it's worked out just fine for him solo. On the flip side of that are people like Tumiander. You guys might know Deborah and Robert from Tumiander. I met them last year after the RTR when they were actually moving out of their two vans in which they traveled solo separately into one van. They had met on the road and they fell in love and they wanted to move into one van and that's a really tiny space but it's been a year and they're still in one van even though they have a tow car that they put behind it so they can go different places. It works for them. Another couple that makes this work is We're the Russos. If you guys haven't seen their channel, it's one of my favorites, check it out. I'll put a link for it below but they had a blog post that I read once on how they make their relationship work in a small space and I'll put the link for that below but the upswing of that was communication. You have to really communicate in a small space according to them and patients. And I met another couple on the road that have the channel Bijuu Juju. You should check them out also. I interviewed them for Bob and they were very content together in their Class C. It was so chill in there. There was no tenseness, there was no drama in their RV and I thought, wow, you can really make this work. I just met a couple the other day that didn't wanna be interviewed so I'm not gonna say their names but their story was fabulous. They actually had been on the road together 18 or 19 years and they had the cutest little Class C but the first nine years they were together as nomads it was on a sailboat and by the way, they made that sailboat work with three kids and the two of them had a tiny little sailboat and they showed me the pictures but they were the right people for each other and again, what they talked about was communication being key. So I could go on you guys. I've met a lot of couples that make it work and I've met a lot of people that don't have any interest at all in living with somebody else on the road. A lot of people that I meet on the road are newly divorced or they were single parents and their kids are grown and they just want their freedom. I would say probably half the people at least that I meet on the road in an interview have that opinion but there are some people that have this dream to go out on the road and they still wanna find somebody. Actually what I hear most often is I don't need to find somebody but if I do and they're the right person, I'd welcome it. So I wanted to tell you guys that that is totally possible while you're on the road. Like I said, Robert and Deborah met on the road. There are a lot of ways to do this and I think about this being a fear for people because you hear that you normally meet people through work. Well, I worked jobs for a long time that I had no interest in dating anybody in that office. If you know what I mean, you probably have the same kind of office and I didn't wanna online date and I think this is the same for a lot of people out there and so it's not like you're going out meeting a bunch of people where you're in the sticks and bricks. You have to actually put yourself out there and try. So I'm gonna tell you about a couple of organizations I found where you can do that. If you want to travel in a singles travel group, there are two groups that I found that seem to have pretty good reviews. There's loners on wheels and when RV singles and I'll put the link for both of these below. So what they do is they organize travel groups of singles in RVs, which is kind of fun and there are RV meetups all the time and Bob has some new caravans and if you're going to the RTR, they have singles nights. So don't think that if you live in an RV, there are not opportunities to go out there and meet people, there are. Okay, so let's talk about me. I never thought that I would actually talk about my relationship on YouTube. Hi honey. I am in a relationship with a wonderful guy named Doug and here's his picture, here's our picture together right here and here's the deal. If you guys watch the very first video I put out, you probably know that I hit the road because I lost my sister and it really changed my whole perspective of what I wanted out of my life. I had not been in a relationship for a long time. I actually had a boyfriend die about 10 years before this point and I dated but I just didn't want to get into a heavy relationship after that for a long time. So I was really used to being single and when I imagined myself hitting the road when I was planning, I had no plan to be in a relationship or look for a relationship and so it was a total surprise to me when I met Doug. When we met, I had been planning my nomadic life for two years and I was certain it was something I was gonna do. I actually met Doug in my apartment building. We lived in the same building and I was on a date and we met at a party and he completely sniped me from the other guy because Doug is kind and funny and wonderful in stark contrast to the guy that I was on the date with and I thought, what am I doing? There are such nice guys in the world and so I started dating Doug and I thought that's what it would be. It would be that we were dating and then when my second book was done and my RV was ready and I was ready to hit the road, I was just gonna hit the road. But then of course, I fell in love with the dude and this was just life. The relationship got serious and I started to really worry that I was going to have to choose either my nomadic life or this great new relationship that I had and luckily around that time, I found a YouTube video that Bob did that I cannot find now so if anybody knows the video I'm talking about, please put it in the comments below and I'll pin it at the top. But Bob interviewed a couple, I think in an Airstream and the woman was on the road already, solo and she was dating a guy who I think was a fireman and he wasn't ready to retire yet and they did the long distance thing for like three years and then he finally decided to join her on the road and that's when Bob interviewed them and it was such a good example for me and I started to think, wow, this is possible, I can make this work and so I wouldn't talk to Doug about it and I had brought up the RV thing and I told him about the plan but I think it just kinda sounds like pie in the sky to a lot of people when you're planning to hit the road and they don't think you're really gonna do it or something but I talked to him about it and I said, look, this is a real thing, this is what I wanna do. I wanna write full time and to do that, I need to be on the road and I wanna go to places and I've been planning and I know this isn't for you but it's for me and to Doug's credit, he thought about it for about two days and he came back to me and he said, I totally support you 100%, do what's gonna make you happy and we're gonna work it out. Never in my wildest imagination did I think that I was gonna find somebody that would support my traveling without them and I'm not gonna tell you guys that it's not tough sometimes, I'll tell you about that but here's the deal and this is straight out of Doug's mouth. I said, why are you okay with this? And he said, when you meet the right person, you make it work and if you love them, you support them and you want them to be happy and all of this is gonna work out because you're the right person for me. So that's the deal you guys but I will tell you that communication is key and I've got some tips for you on how to make a relationship work if you are in one. I remember after that conversation, my lease was actually up a few months before my RV was ready. So I moved in with Doug and then we were living together and as I got closer to hitting the road, I kept saying, okay, well I'm gonna go, I'm gonna hit the road. I started to feel a little bit tethered because we hadn't done it yet, we were brand new and I wasn't sure how much time I could spend away from him and how much time there so I planned out my first trip and I kept saying, okay, well I'm gonna go for six weeks and then I'm gonna come back to visit and the day that I was leaving, he said, so how long are you going for? Like while I was standing at the door and I said six weeks and his face dropped and he said, oh, I thought you were kidding. So communication really is key. I should have looked him straight in the eye and said, I'm going for six weeks and then I'm gonna come home and I should have been much more clear instead I just kept dropping little things about, oh yeah, well I'm gonna go here and I'm gonna go there and it should be about six weeks. I needed to be much more clear and that's something that I needed to learn and I'll tell you guys, a relationship is still a relationship. If being long distance is the biggest problem that you have in a relationship, then you're lucky. Being long distance can hide a lot of problems in a relationship because when you get together, it's just all fun and travel but it can also exacerbate any problems that you might have in the relationship. So don't think that having a long distance relationship is gonna be easy or it's gonna be hard. It's just a reflection of what kind of a relationship you really have. So of course you guys know me, I did a little bit of research and I just stumbled upon an article about a study that came out and actually just came out a couple of days ago so score, good timing, but I'm gonna put a link for the article below and basically here's the upswing. Long distance relationships are succeeding more now than they ever have because we're also connected digitally. So the deal is that when they surveyed 1,000 people that actually are long distance, 58% of their relationships actually succeeded which is pretty good. It's actually more than people stay together, right? Isn't divorce 40 or 50%? I think 58% is pretty good and I don't know how that stacks up against other relationships but I bet it's about the same. But I wanted to tell you guys some of the things I learned from that study and then I'm gonna tell you some tricks that we've learned for making it work. You know, it's funny when I read this article I was like, yep, check, uh-huh, check because it said, first of all, the hardest part is when you get to four months. It's very exciting in the beginning but when you hit the four month mark that's when it starts to get really hard and it reminds me of the video I did on will you be happy on the road that that's probably about the time that it starts to go, oh, hold on a minute, this isn't fun anymore, it's hard and it's not what I'm used to. And that was absolutely true for us especially once I left his region and I really traveled far away from him. I was gone for about four months before I saw him and we plan a lot of little trips and I'll talk to you about that in a second. The four month part was actually the hardest but this study also said that if you hit the eight month mark then you're in a groove, man, and you just sail. I mean, as much as a relationship can sail, right? And that's where we are. The next thing it said is that the two people in the relationship sent about 343 texts a week. Yeah, that's right, we do that. And it said that they spend about eight hours talking on the phone or video chatting every week. Yep, we do that. And I'm gonna tell you some fun stuff that we do that helps along the way. And here's what was actually really interesting about that study. Half the people that they surveyed said that being long distance actually made them feel closer. And I'm gonna keep it real with you guys. It's exciting to be on the road as a solo nomad but it's also heartbreaking when you leave the people that you love. And for me, whether that be Doug or my friends or my mom or whatever, you know, when you are clear about what you want, like if you wanna be a nomad, you go to see these people and you are excited to see them, you know, but you also know that you're gonna leave. And so that can be a little bit heartbreaking but you do actually cherish the time that you have with them even more. And I find that that's also true in my relationship. It's wonderful and it's heartbreaking. So who knows what's gonna happen with me and Doug? You know, so far we've been together three years and a year and a half of that has been on the road. So we were together a year and a half before I hit the road and now we've been together a year and a half a little bit more since I hit the road. And I have no plans of going off the road. This is definitely the life for me but that doesn't mean that I don't wanna be with him and I don't go and visit him and who knows? You know, the time might be right someday for him to hit the road but this is just life and things change, things come and go and there might be a time he comes with me and there might be a time that I go back and stay with him more or maybe we split the year, I don't know. I'm open to whatever happens and wherever our relationship takes us. So now let me tell you guys about some strategies that Doug actually found online and we talked about it because we actually do a lot of the stuff in this list and some other stuff. So the first thing is avoid excessive communication. Now in the beginning I was thinking, what? That doesn't make any sense but it does because when you first separate there might be a lot of text messages. You know, I remember when I first hit the road sometimes I would say, okay, well I'm on the road and I'll call you when I get to my spot and then I got to my spot and there was no signal. And then I stressed out that he was gonna be worried about me and he was stressed out that he hadn't heard from me and now we just kind of go with it but I can see that in a long distance relationship especially on the road, people can be blowing each other up, don't do that, it can get irritating, right? The second thing is have a goal in mind. So, you know, Doug knows why I'm on the road and what my goals are but we also have goals to see each other and that was another thing on the list to have a trip planned together or to have something coming up that you can look forward to. And I can tell you guys that Doug flew out to South Dakota with me when I got my RV to pick up the RV and we drove it back and then he went on a few camping trips with me in the beginning, even though he's not a camper. And he went with me to San Francisco and that was a great trip and then we drove back to Colorado and he met me in Las Vegas and then, you know, I flew home for like Valentine's Day last year and we make it work. And then this last year, I did come back to Colorado but more often than not, he came out to wherever I was camping and would drive the three hours to come out and see me and have a three-day weekend and then go back home. So he's gotten more of a taste for my lifestyle but, you know, we have plans for the holidays. He's coming with me to the RTR, you guys. I hope that still works out so he'll be able to get off work and come with me but we have a nice trip planned there and having that in mind really does help. The next thing on the list is to have pet names for each other and we certainly do but I'm not gonna tell you what they are. The next thing is remember, your partner's not perfect like this girl, I'm not perfect and neither is he and I think we've come to learn what both of us want and what both of us need and we communicate and I think, you know, we give each other a pass on a lot of stuff, not everything, it's still a relationship. The next thing I liked on this list was to play games online. Now we actually did that in the beginning, you know, we would play different apps that we could go back and forth but now what we do and what we've done for about the last year which works great for us is that we actually have a date night and we do it just as our schedules allow, it's once or twice a week and basically what we do is we both get on our comfortable clothes and put on our Bluetooth and we call each other and we watch a movie or something or a football game. When you're just talking to somebody on the phone and it's dark inside and you're watching the same thing at the same time on TV, it actually does feel like you're back in the same house together on the couch, hanging out and it really does make me feel a lot more connected to him, it works great for us. And the last thing on the list which I'm a big fan of is to say good night and good morning every day. And I have to say, I was a lot less touchy-feely before I met Doug. Doug drives this and I love him for it. The first thing he does in the morning is he says good morning to me and the last thing at night is he says good night and it makes us feel connected even though we're in different places. So you guys, there are gonna be as many different types of relationships and goals and desires out there as there are stars in the sky. And a lot of you are gonna watch this and go, oh God, hell no, I don't want a relationship, you can keep it. And some of you are gonna say, dear Lord, please help me find one. And some of you are gonna say, yeah, I hit the road with my partner and now I wish that he would go away. And some of you are going to try and make your relationships work like I do and it's totally possible. Just know that this can succeed just as much as any other relationship can. It can be a little bit trickier. I mean, we're dealing with longer distances and smaller spaces and maybe more time alone outside of crowds of people where you might meet someone but you guys, I do it. I didn't expect to do it, I expected to be totally solo and I never expected to find somebody that would be down with me traveling all the time. But I did and you can too. So whatever it is that you want, man, go do it. Just think about what it is that you really want. If you wanna be in a relationship, do it. If you don't, do that. So I hope you guys like this video. Please do give it a thumbs up because you guys know that that helps other people discover this video and this channel. Share it with your friends if you think it's gonna be helpful. All the links I mentioned are below. If you haven't subscribed, please do so. And I wish you all happy travels out there and be free.