 For many individuals, falling in love with the wrong people is like a cycle. They fall in love and get hurt and then fall in love again with people who end up hurting them. In the long run, these people conclude that something is wrong with them, thus they cannot be loved. Well, something is wrong but not with you exactly. With your motives, approach and belief system. In this video, I will be sharing with you the top 10 reasons why people fall in love with the wrong people. 10. People seek the trait they lack in someone else who has it. It is often said as humans we incline to admire people because they possess certain traits that we desire to have. For instance, you're more likely to admire someone intelligent, spiritual or adventurous because you wish you were more like that. When we find people with these traits and become their partners, we feel as though we have also acquired these traits through affiliation, like we are being complimented or made whole. However, most times people are blinded by the qualities they admire that they ignore other hazardous behaviors. For instance, if you discover that this same adventurous, logical person is violent or abusive, is it still worth it? Do you want to have an exciting life filled with physical and emotional hurt? Is it much better to grow the trait you admire into your character than settle for the wrong person because you want your style to be complimented? 9. Confusion between attraction and love. Many people who claim to have fallen in love at first sight just felt attraction because of their partner's looks and physical appearance. What you might think of as love at first sight might be a mere attraction. Getting attracted to someone is not bad. It is an essential criterion and the necessary foundation for building a healthy relationship. However, a love born out of mere attraction to physical attributes and looks is short-sighted and will not last. The fact that you had an excellent first impression about someone does not mean that the relationship will last. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Salida Afridi, there are deeper issues than mere beauty and attraction. It takes a much deeper connection for a strong bond to last. So the fact that you feel attracted to a person on your first meeting does not mean that they are the right one for you. 8. Societal and family pressure. This reason is predominant in cultures where a person has to get married and have children to be termed as a real man or woman. As a result of such pressure, an individual's mindset becomes susceptible to falling in love with the next available guy or lady that is ready for marriage. Often, within a short period of the meeting, love talk is already heard and wedding bells are ringing. The most terrible effect of this kind of relationship is that people often find out that they loved the wrong person when they are already married. Thus, they either leave the rest of their lives in regret or file for a divorce. It will be best for you to be mindful of the things that pressure your mind. When it comes to issues that have to do with love and marriage, endeavor to be at your own pace, else you might end up in regrets for the rest of your life. 7. Illusion about who you want people to be. Most times, people become so wrapped up in the dream of who they want their partner to be that they become blind to who they are. You have built the picture of your perfect partner in your head and you are using any available person to feed your dreams and imaginations. In cases like this, even when you notice red flags such as rudeness, possessiveness or even physical abuse, you will always make up some excuses in your head to overlook the actions. Relationships like this may last for a while but it usually hurts real deep down when you finally come out of your illusion and realize that you have been with the wrong person the whole time. For you to find the relationship that will give you true happiness, you need to know and accept people for who they are. By doing that, you will be able to let go of the people you do not want and give yourself the chance to find the people you truly desire. 6. Money. The love of money, they say, is the root of all evil. One evil that the greed for money can make you fall into is falling in love with the wrong person. Money in itself is not bad. However, getting involved with someone solely because of their money is a dead end. You do not wish to be on. If you love someone who happens to be wealthy, pay close attention to how they use the money. Money should not be the reason for getting into an affair with someone. Rather, it ought to be a medium for a session of person's attitude and intents. 5. Confusion about what they want. Many people find it difficult to list out the qualities that they want in their life partner. Even though you might not find someone who matches your list, having a list at all is essential. People assume that individuals who are playing about who they want to date are often selective and may not settle with anyone. Contrarily, studies have shown that people who have a clear idea of what they require easily find their right partners. Having an idea about who you want means that you are courageous enough to believe that you will find that one person you dream of having someday. Once you can clearly understand what specific qualities and beliefs you generally value in another person, you can then pursue the right man who meets your new and improved standards. 4. Getting caught up in the moment. So, let's say you just had a terrible heartbreak and you were trying to beat yourself up. You probably decided to grab a drink at the bar and for the first time in many months you made this person right in the bar and despite your repulsive behavior they are persistent and still want to hang out with you. You get into a conversation and find out that this person has a great sense of humor, something your ex lacks. And voila! You are already having a great time and laughing out loud. Moments can lead to so many things and suddenly you may think that you have found the right one. Well, almost every individual has had relationships which we entered just because we were caught up in the moment and only realized that we made a mistake when we were already in that relationship. Moments are crazy and for the safety of your heart don't confuse those moments for love. 3. Low self-esteem. Many people tend to settle for less because they have a mentality that they are not worthy of having something better. It is not like these individuals are ignorant of what they truly want or what will make them happy. They are not just convinced enough that they are deserving of such. Hence they lower their standards. Research has shown that people with low self-esteem generally tend to get caught up in a negative cycle that inadvertently backfires. Although this low self-esteem issue is based on individuality it is more prominent among women. A 2014 Glamour survey revealed that approximately 80% of women couldn't even look at themselves in the mirror without overwhelming feelings of disappointment and self-loathing. And with these unfortunate statistics in mind they settle for just anybody thinking that they are undeserving of the right people. 2. Thinking they can change others. Have you ever heard a broken hearted person say, I sincerely thought I could change him or her? Although this is often common among the female folks, men experience it as well. Mindfully getting into a relationship with the assumption that you can change people is almost like putting your hand in a fire with hopes that your hands will quench the fire. It is not out of place to want to change someone but the question is do you have to date them to change them? Can't you have them as friends and correct their wrongs? The primary issue with getting into a relationship with the intent to change someone is that the person in question may become pretentious, acting up to make you feel good. So rather than viewing individuals who are wrong for you as fixer uppers you can shape and rebuild, it's time to look for those who already have the qualities, characteristics and priorities in place that are important to you. The truth is that changing a partner is almost impossible especially when the person does not want to change. However, you have the power to change your preferences. 1. Loneliness and the need for companionship The feeling of loneliness is a phobia that causes people to fall for just anybody. Many times when we were so lonely we don't care about other things like compatibility. All we want is not to be alone. Feeling so lonely places a person in a state of vulnerability and weakness. It creates a desperation of needing someone else to pick us up because that's the only way we assume that we will feel better. That feeling of neediness usually leads people into the mistake of loving a wrong person, whom end up taking advantage of them and their circumstances. A love that is born out of loneliness is one with a weak root. In the words of the author of the single woman, Mandy Hale, Until you get comfortable with being alone, you'll never know if you're choosing someone out of love or loneliness. One thing is sure. The more you fall in love with the wrong people, the more you get heartbroken and the more you lose your self-esteem and identity. If the pattern is not settled, you might end up missing the right person. So solve it now. If you're one of our great fans who have been wanting to know who is behind this channel, now you can know. Kindly check the description box to join Steve Courage's personal channel. Find out directly from him or ask him any questions. Thanks!