 In today's episode of Pookie Ponders, we are going to explore why I believe you should gift your mistakes. Let's dive right in. So, gifting your mistakes, what is Pookie talking about today? I think we should be humans rather than heroes when we are role modeling, whether that is role modeling to adults, perhaps in some kind of leadership type role, or whether we are role modeling to the children and young people that we work with or care for. It's not helpful for people to see their role models and whether you want to be one or not, you are, as standing on a pedestal and being this kind of image of perfection that they feel that they can never aspire to, because that can make us almost feel like, what's the point? I'm never going to be that good, so why try it all? Whereas, if our role models are flawed and human and imperfect, then perhaps we feel a bit more like, okay, I might be able to aspire to that. And we're all flawed and human and imperfect, but sometimes we try really hard to cover up those flaws, those imperfections, and we try to appear the hero, but it's not so helpful. So I think rather than only showing the good stuff, only talking about our successes, coming across as knowing it all, if instead we can be a bit more honest and open and authentic about our day-to-day journey through this thing called life and actually gift our mistakes to others, then that can make a really, really big difference. So, gifting our mistakes is about owning them, sharing them, showing other people the things that we got wrong and what we learnt from that. So that's kind of it really, that's the whole concept, but then a few ways in which you might do this, so you can go try it out in your day-to-day life, is learning. So learning, learning with an F on the beginning, not a typo, but actually a proactive positive decision to create a new word that isn't mine, it's stolen and shared. I learnt it from Adrian Bethune in his upcoming revision of his brilliant book, Well-Being in the Primary Classroom, but he stole it from someone else and there's no new ideas here. But learning, so learning with an F at the beginning, this is about learning from our failures. So this is taking those moments when things don't go quite to plan and then exploring them and considering, but what did I learn here? Every time we do something, even if we do not achieve what we set out to, even if it's not an outright success, there is normally some kind of learning moment that can come from that. This is something I am learning very much in my endeavours paragliding. Paragliding is a wonderful and joyous sport, but it's a very steep learning curve. But each time something doesn't go quite to plan or quite as one might hope or quite spectacularly brilliant as one might have possibly dared to dream, there's always something that can be learnt. That we can do a little bit differently and tweak for next time. And I think that's probably going to be the case forever with this sport, as I'm sure it is for many other sports and hobbies and endeavours that you engage with. So learning, this is not failure, this is learning from those moments when things didn't go quite to plan, reframing those failures and seeing it as a learning opportunity. And we can build the sharing of learning. I'm going to keep saying that word, awkward as it might seem. We can build the sharing of learning into our regular meetings. Why not have a learning moment in our staff meetings, for example, or as a family? We can regularly address these ideas around the dinner table. Who cocked up today and what did you learn from it? Actually having a little bit of humour around these moments when things didn't go quite right and then just thinking, but you know, on reflection, what did we learn from that can be really, really helpful. Another thing here in terms of gifting our mistakes is what I like to refer to as showing our working. So what we will often do as adults is present our children with our final answer. They will see how we are doing things in the end rather than how we got there. But if we can learn to problem solve out loud and let our children see our learning. So like if you are answering a maths question how you have to show the working, not just the final answer, it's just the same kind of concept. We show the learning by thinking aloud, by showing the people that we're working with or caring for the steps that we're taking in order to get to the end point. Then even when we do succeed, then they see the steps that we took to get there. The help that we sort, the different resources that we might have drawn on, the different things that we might have tried along the way, the things that helped us and maybe the bits that we didn't get quite right the first time. So showing our working and problem solving out loud is another way that we can gift our mistakes and be seen by the children and young people in our care or indeed the adults we might be working with as someone who is always learning and they can see that learning process, we're role modeling it and that can be really powerful for them to see. And it's also important for the children and young people that we're supporting to see us get stuff wrong sometimes and to step outside of our comfort zones too. So the third idea for gifting your mistakes is actually to join in with activities that you don't excel at. So we can sometimes stick really closely within our own comfort zone and only allow the people that we are working with or caring for to see us do things that we know we can do well. And that is pretty massively hypocritical of us. And I say us because I've definitely been there and only done in front of others the things that I know I can do well as an adult in the past. But it is pretty hypocritical because we expect children and young people all day every day to have a go at things that they don't feel totally comfortable with whether that's geography or whether that is a new sport in PE or whether that's a new hobby that we've decided they should have a go at. They're constantly trying new things and stepping outside of their comfort zone and being encouraged to do that. And then we're asked would you like to come along on this school trip and join in with the high ropes activity and we say no, not sure I'll be very good at that so I won't thank you very much. Which is okay but you know if we can say yes to some of these opportunities and our children can see that we're prepared like them to have a go and to not do really really well at it sometimes but perhaps have some fun along the way or to show some resilience picking ourselves up and trying again or to problem solve out loud and show our working so our children can see what we're thinking and how we look to overcome this. Just have some fun and build some connections. These are really really powerful things for our children to see so actually taking the opportunity to join in with activities that we don't excel at can be really rewarding in terms of the role modelling that we're doing but also just really really good fun. When I find myself thinking about this and maybe do this exercise for yourself like reflect back on different opportunities that you've been presented with and you've said no because it would have taken you outside of your comfort zone and you didn't know how to do well at that thing and you thought that you might look a bit silly or that you just wouldn't have been good at it as other people were but perhaps if you'd have been able to kind of let go of those inhibitions and just have a go anyway you might have had a real laugh. I find myself thinking about the times I didn't play frisbee or didn't join in with football or all those kinds of things that I just I knew I'd be rubbish but does it matter if you're having a good time and you're trying and actually maybe you're learning something and improving and you're connecting with others and these are all really valuable things too but as an adult in particular you are a role model all day every day and when you say yeah I'm really uncomfortable doing this but do you know what I'm going to give it a go and our children see us doing that they see us embracing that they see us laughing they see us learning it's such such powerful role modelling and do you know what's even better for them is when we have a go we're a bit rubbish and they can do it better that for them feels amazing my daughters will tell you this when it comes to things like Mario Kart I am appalling but we do have a laugh and they love the fact that they're better at it than me in fact increasingly there are all sorts of things that my daughters are better at than me and you may experience this as a parent, teacher or supporting adult as well and actually that brings me great joy as well and it's quite wonderful when our children and young people can teach us new things and we can flip those roles and they can step into that role of teacher as well and that's another way that gifting our mistakes being a little bit authentic and vulnerable and trying new things can be really really empowering for those that we're working with or caring for so hopefully some ideas in there that will give you a bit of food for thought I would love to hear from you on the socials what you are going to do in terms of gifting your mistakes are you prepared to try and maybe not do brilliant at some new things what are you going to give a go I would love to hear from you thank you so much for tuning in I hope it was helpful if you would like to support my work you can do so by sharing it you can do so by supporting me over on Patreon or you can do so by inviting me to speak at your next event or in your setting until next time bye