 Hi, she was seven, I'm back. So today I wanted to talk to y'all about how to know he is not the one, okay? So a lot of women refuse to see red flags. They refuse to see how a man really feels about him through his actions. They deny and they are in denial 90% of the time, okay? So I'm here looking from the outside and kind of telling you what lets you know that this man is not the one for you. He's not into you like you are into him, okay? Now, if y'all hear some noise, there's construction going on, they're building a house across the street. So bear with me. Okay, so the number one sign. To let you know that this man is not the one for you is that he does not put you on his priority list. You're not even a priority. You're the last one he calls. You have to text him. You have to call him. You have to make plans if you wanna see him, okay? You're like the last thought on his mind. That's number one, okay? Number two is he would rather go out with hang out with his friends and be with his friends 99% of the time more than he wants to spend with you, okay? This lets you know that you're just there when he needs you whatever kind of way he needs you in, okay? And 99% of the time he is with his friends. That's sign number two. Sign number three, he doesn't spend any money on you, okay? If you have seen a man a few times and he hasn't spent any money on you, has not tried to impress you or anything, he's not the one, okay? So if he has not done those things and you're still hanging on, it's time to let go, okay? Now there's more, okay? If he is always talking about ex-girlfriends or baby mama or this, this and that, that means secretly he still cares about that person or it's not over that person. Even if he's talking bad about them, he's still talking about them. They're still on his mind. They are the subject of your conversation, okay? So technically he's venting to you to make himself feel better so that when he does go back to the other person, he's calmed down and, you know, he feels good about the situation. So that's another sign. If he vents and talks about other women in front of you, even if it's bad, does it mean that he's, you know, confiding in you? It means he's venting to you about his problems with her so that he can go back and feel confident to face her, okay? The next red flag is he's not trying to commit to you. He doesn't want to title with you. He doesn't want to call you his girlfriend or his, you know, whatever. He doesn't want to call you any of those names, okay? If you can't get a formal introduction as a girlfriend, then he's not the one, okay? And this is after dating at least a couple of weeks or months, okay? You shouldn't be hanging on for a title after at least two months of dating. If you're been dating two months and he hasn't claimed you yet, he's probably not gonna claim you any time soon, okay? The next thing is if he tends to not text back like after you ask him something important or, you know, something, something, something, if he doesn't text you back like a priority, like, okay, I'm here, not necessarily like right then and there, but at least within the same 30 minutes to an hour. If he hasn't text back in the same 30 minutes to an hour, you know he ain't the one because communication is terrible, okay? Unless he's like, you know, unless he can't have his cell phone where he works and you know that and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but in a normal situation where you know he has his phone and he doesn't text you back within 30 minutes to an hour, no, okay? Or at least calls you or something, something, an emoji or something, you know what I'm saying? Okay. So these are red flags that these guys are not into you. If you have to always make the first move in like sex or to get affection, this means, you know, now some guys are not affectionate, you know, in public, but in private, if you're having to make the first move all the time, he ain't the one, okay? So just know that ladies, if you're chasing behind a man who's not really putting you on top of his list, you're wasting your time and you need to get out of it and you need to find someone who chases you, okay? I know a lot of women have issues and they're like, well, all the men that I like don't like me. Well, you know, you gotta find a guy that likes you and who will chase after you, okay? See how it feels for a chance, even if it's just for fun, you know, go and date someone who you would normally date who you know will chase after you and go and get that feeling of being pursued by a man, you know, go and get that feeling. See what it feels like to actually be treated like a lady and a woman and not having to jump through hoops and do all these kinds of stupid things and then put last on someone's list. Go see what it feels like to be fond after, you know? Even if you don't even like the guy, go see what it feels like, you know? You might just be like, oh my God, I can't go back to those other guys. I gotta stay with this type of man because this is where it's at, you know? This is how I wanna be treated, you know? And you'd be surprised. Sometimes guys who don't look like they're all that and who treat you really nice, their looks start improving. You know, you start seeing how sexy they are, you know? A man who can take care of a woman, provide for her, chase after her and make her number one is sexy, you know? And when other women see him doing this in public with you, they're gonna want him too. Even though he's not the best looking thing in the world, they're gonna say, oh my God, look how good he treats her. Oh my God, I wish I had a man like that. And then secretly they're gonna be envious. They're gonna be like, oh my God, I might have lipstick on my lipstick, you know? I mean, on my teeth. But they'll be like, oh my God, I wish I had a man like that. And then, you know, they'll, sometimes, you know, you bring your friends around your boyfriend, even though he's not the cutest thing in the world, but they see how good he treats you, they're gonna try to be like, oh, you know? He's kind of cute, or I could get a guy like that or something like that, yeah, you know? So don't focus so much on looks, ladies, because you're gonna be missing out on being chased, being fond after, being put first. You're gonna miss out on a lot of that stuff, and you'll never know how it feels because you're too busy chasing after someone who doesn't want you, okay? And I think when women do that, they have low self-esteem, they don't feel like they're worth anyone else chasing them. Over time, when you chase a man more and more, and over time, and you chase another man, and you chase another man, you forget that you're a woman. And then you wonder why men don't stay with you very long. They won't stay with you very long because you don't give them a chance to chase you, or they didn't want you in the first place, you know what I'm saying? A lot of men can't say no to women who make the first move and chase them because it's so rare, you know? And they know it's easy, like, oh, you're coming after me, you must want this. Oh, yeah, okay, I'm gonna hit it and quit it. And I'm gonna be gone, you know? You came after me, I didn't approach you, okay? So you have to think about it. I know a lot of women are like, why can't a woman approach a man? Because that's why. Because if you approach a man and they treat you like trash, well, they can later say, well, I didn't even come up to you, you came up to me. You know? I never wanted you, did I come up to you? Exactly, that's why you never chase a man. And you never approach a man. A lot of guys will find it flattering, but for the wrong reason, you know what I mean? Oh, this woman came up to me, she wants to give me some, okay? Now, I didn't come up to her, which means I'm not really truly interested in her, but I'll take what she's offering. That's what it is. It's flattering because it's an offer. But if a man really wants a woman, he's gonna see her from across the room, and he's going to get his mind together, get his words together, prepare a speech to go and introduce himself. He's gonna try to impress you. He's gonna offer to buy you a drink. He's going to smile. He's going to try all the tricks in his bag to get you interested in him, okay? But if you walk up to a man, he's just gonna be like, oh, okay, she wants some. Okay, I'll give it to her, and then whatever. You're not a priority. Okay, you want to be the one that someone walks across a room for. You don't want to be the one who someone's turning around their shoulder, someone asks, oh, you know, you're kind of cute. What's your name? Or, hi, my name is Something Something, nice to meet you. You know, this is too forward. Men are like taking back by this, and they're like, oh my gosh, he must want some. They're not thinking, oh, this is future wife. They're like, I didn't even come for you, you know, but I'll take it. So ladies, you have to remember that, you know, some of these commercials that you see on TV with women going up to men and stuff like that. Yeah, it's empowering and all that stuff, but at the end of the day, if the man didn't come after you, he really never wanted you. You know, if you didn't walk by eight times, and he saw you, but he didn't approach you, red flag, you don't want you, okay? Move it along. You might get some, you might get a date out of it, you might get some sex out of it, but you're not probably going to end up with this person, and he's probably not going to end up taking you seriously, okay, because he didn't approach you, okay? Unless you hook him and make him yours, and he's that kind of guy who will follow behind you, you know, that's fine. But majority of the time, a woman who approaches a man doesn't get the best relationship because the dynamic and the balance was off in the beginning, so it doesn't really ever truly work out. I know a lot of guys who were dating women that actually came up to them, and they always cheated on them, and they always had other women in their house, you know, because they already knew. They want me more than I want them, and they'll put up with my BS because they approached me. So when you approach a man, you're gonna have to put up with more of his BS, and you know, he knows that you're desperate for him, you came up to him, you know? So ladies, that's why I always say, don't go up to a man, let them come to you. If no man come to you, you need to go home and reassess, okay? Maybe this wig ain't working for you. Maybe the hair color is not working for you. Maybe you need to wear a different outfit, some different colors, some different shoes. Maybe you need to stop being so, you know, loud and obnoxious when you're out. Sometimes that's what it is, or maybe you need to go out alone. You have to understand that sometimes men don't approach women for certain reasons, and it's not because of how they look or anything like that. Sometimes it's who you're with or how you're presenting yourself to the public, you know? If they see you talking to eight different guys, they're not gonna approach you. So that's why when you go out, you don't waste your time with the losers. You know, you see a loser heading your way, you walk the other way. You know, some guy come up to you, you have to dismiss him quick. You can't sit there and see what he's talking about if you know he's not what you want. Because the one that you do want is sitting there watching you. And if you get approached by eight different guys and you entertain eight different guys for 20 minutes each, he's not approaching, I'm sorry. Okay, and guys know this is true. They will watch a woman from across the road and see how they act with other men. If they see a man approach them like, you know, that's beneath her and she gives him the time of day, the other man who was considering approaching you, he's like, oh, she likes thugs or she likes losers. I can't, you know, she probably got eight kids, you know, no. When you go out, you cannot entertain certain things if you wanna get approached. Okay? Anyway, I know a lot of women have problems getting approached and it's how you act, okay? If you're sitting there alone looking classy and just sitting there and not being loud and obnoxious or talking to everybody that passes by, you're easy to approach, okay? You're noticeable because you're not like everyone else. You know, you're sitting there in peace, happy within, you're not looking for this attention, you're not doing this, you're not doing that. So it's easier for a man to approach you, you know. If you're approaching every man and getting shot down and going from man to man and guys see that, they're gonna be like, oh my God, look at this. Mm-mm-mm, you know, I might take her home, I might do this, I might do that, but that's it, you know. She's desperate. So ladies, be aware of how you look when you go out. Be aware of making the first move is the wrong move, okay? Don't, I never talked to him, like when I was single, I never talked to a man unless they talked to me first. Why? Because I never did that and because I knew that if a man wants you, he will approach you. Point blank, they can be sitting there looking cute, I would just ruin their self-esteem. They could be sitting there looking cute, nice, nice, watch, you know, obviously have money and I would just look right past them and walk to the bar and be like, I make them approach me, I do not approach me, I never did, never will, never have. You know, I don't even approach my husband, you gotta come up to me. So yes, you have to let them come to you. Otherwise, you're too easy. Even if you don't have sex with them, you're too easily gotten, you know, your attention is too easily gotten. They have to work for that stuff, okay? They have to work for it. And I know a lot of men are gonna chime in, well, that's why I don't like playing games. Y'all like playing games more than anything in the world. That's why y'all have football, basketball, golf, hockey, Olympics, all that. Y'all love competition, y'all love sports. So don't sit there and tell me you don't like games. If you watch a TV on Super Bowl Sunday, okay? Men like games, they lie to make it easier for them to get what they need. Don't ever listen to a man that says he doesn't like competition or games because that's a lie. They like it, okay? Even though they don't, even subconsciously, you know, if someone else is after you, that makes you even more alluring to them because now it's a competition, okay? If you're wanted and men like the way you look and they look at you when you go out, your man wants you more because they have what someone else can't have and they're winning, okay? So ladies, don't ever let people tell you not to play games and this, this, this, and that. The women who play games most of the time, if they're smart, not the dumb women that play games who don't know how to play the game right. The women who play the games always win because we're always like three steps ahead of men and we are very intuitive. We have lots of ways to manipulate and men fall for it every time and then they like it in the end. They like it, okay? They really do. I know this is gonna seem crazy, but underneath it all, they really do like it. They're fascinated that you would actually go through this depth to get them to be right and to improve themselves and to be better men, you know? And then years down the line when they look back, they'll see how you improved them for the better, okay? And they'll be thanking you. So ladies, if the man doesn't approach, he doesn't want you. Don't approach men unless you want to enter into an unbalanced dating relationship. Go years without a title. You know, be the last on his list, okay? So take it from me. I'm telling you, don't do it. It's not worth it, all right? I'll see you later. Bye.