 Welcome back to the 21th Convention Tenure University of Orlando, Florida. Our next and final speaker of the day is the A, Godfather of Seduction Community, in my judgment, in my opinion. And it ticks me off, and it's ticked me off for a while, that he doesn't even recognize that. I think it's an important contribution to the Manisphere, to his own life, obviously, and his own work, and then the PUA community that exists to this day for well over a decade at this point. He's also the founder of Speed Seduction, and you can find him at seduction.com. Without further ado, please help me welcome Ross Jeffries to the stage. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. No, I can't hear you. What? All right, buckle up, Bucky's, because this is not going to be a talk. This is going to be a training session, and here's the distinction. A talk is a one-way communication. I am not the speaker. I am a trainer and a teacher. Now, what does this mean for you? This means not a single one of you is going to be allowed to sit passively on your asses. I'm going to be asking the audience questions, and in turn, I'm going to be inviting your questions. If you're not asking me questions, then you're not really paying attention, because what I'm going to teach you tonight is radically different from any other perspective or point of view that you've heard before or are likely to hear this weekend. Does that make sense? I love the verbal feedback. Thank you. So a couple of quick administrative things before I get to the meat of this talk. No one caught that? That's good. Okay, number one. It's probably not going to be useful to take notes. There will be some specific times when I'll direct you to take notes. The problem with taking notes is it leads to what I call educational bulimia. Anyone here ever gone to college? Keep your hands up if you've crammed for a test. Now, keep your hands up if and only if you could take that same test today and pass it with flying colors. Okay, that's not what I want to have happen. I don't want to give you facts to memorize. I want to so change your perspective of how this subject works that you'll never again ever be able to go back to the perspective you had before you walked in those doors. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay, second point, and this is crucial. Please give me your full attention on this. Nothing I'm going to be teaching you tonight is science. It is not science. It is not truth with a capital T. It is only my model, my map. I've developed it since 1988. I taught my first seminar in 1991 when I wrote my first book in 1988, How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed, A Down and Dirty Guide to Dating and Seduction for the Man Who's Fed Up with Being Mr. Nice Guy. Some of you weren't even born. Now, it's very, very, very important that you recognize that they're just going to be times when you'll want to take what I say as truth with a capital T. Don't do it. This is my map. My claim is, if you follow the map, you're much more likely to get the results it predicts. Will you get them all the time? No, because human behavior is nuanced and complex and chaotic. Does that make sense? Yes. All right. So, let me tell you a little bit about my own story, how I got into this. So, when I was 19 years old, I was this tall. I'm 6'2". I weighed 125 pounds. I was a walking skeleton. I can remember sitting out one day on the quad at UCLA, where I went to school, University of California, Los Angeles, and a woman walking up to me and said, excuse me, I'm an art major. Do you mind if I sketch you nude? You know, at the time, I was too stupid to do anything with it. She said, I can see every bone and every vein in your body. I was so ashamed of the way I looked. I'm not making this up. I literally would tape paper over the windows in the bathroom, so I didn't have to look at my own body when I took a shower. I was so neurotic about it that I would look at every pair of arms, every woman's arms, every man's arms, and compulsively compare them to the size of my own. And the thing I would say to myself over and over is, you're not even a man. I would look at a woman I found attractive. I would say, why would you want to offer an inferior product to a woman like that who could get a man? And so, I went through all of my college years at a time when my peers were exploring sexuality and relationships and what it meant to be connected in an intimate way. I spent it in a state of self-hatred and shame and envy and resentment and contempt for myself, which, by the way, I think are pervasive spiritual poisons, whether you're male or female, old or young. These are fundamental poisons of the spirit. In any case, I did not lose my virginity until I was 22 years old. Actually, I had to stay over a summer. I went one summer over my senior year, and that's when a fat, chubby girl from Wisconsin, thank you, Megan Kathleen Donovan. If you're still out there, thank you. Let's have a big round for her. But that was it. And for the rest of the time, I got rejected. Now, here's the story you don't know because I've never told it in public before. I was so lonely that I actually went back to UCLA for like the next three years and wandered around the campus like a ghost. I haunted that campus hoping against hope. It's true. I'm not making this up. Hoping against hope that a woman would talk to me and somehow like me. That's what I did. I worked odd jobs trying to make it as a comedy writer. I failed that career. That's one of the worst movies ever made. If you want to torture your girlfriend or your date, they still call me Bruce. You can get it, I think, on Netflix. I don't know. Say again? You've seen it. It's a terrible movie. Well, you're kind, sir. It was a piece of shit. Leonard Malton called it a cinematic abortion. And when I saw that, I literally, I'm not kidding, I experienced a flash. I'm not making this a flash of blinding white light. And that was it for my comedy writing career. Anyway, in any case, I haunted that campus hoping against hope. So what I want to say to anyone who's going through this or has gone through it, I understand your situation. I understand the shame, the rage. I understand the embarrassment of going to family gatherings and being the only one who didn't have a partner. And knowing that my family must have been thinking, is he gay? Nothing wrong with that. I live in the gay neighborhood of San Diego, Hillcrest. God bless my neighbors. They're great. So I understand the shame and the rage and the pain. And most importantly, I understand the profound confusion. And this, to me, the confusion element of the suffering we go through is, to me, a very subtle element. But it's something that no one in the community addresses because I don't think they see it, but I see it. I have clients come to me and they say, Ross, I don't get it. I'm a successful business person. I built my business from nothing to a multimillion-dollar business. No one handled me anything. I had to be strategic in my thinking and consistent and intelligent. Why can't I use that same intelligence to figure out women? I'm spinning in confusion. I have been for years. Has anyone here ever felt confusion in their dealings with women? You're a liar if you're not raising your hand. Raise both hands and say, hallelujah, Ross has got it. My students actually do that. They'll actually do that when I don't do. So I understand the profound confusion. And what does this profound confusion lead to? It leads to a approach to life where you won't take a step unless you're absolutely guaranteed you're going to succeed. And it leads to running data in your head rather than exploring out into the world. I continue to see this in my seminars. It's very interesting. Same people, not the same face, but they always sit in the third row on this side. I am not making this up. And they always ask questions like this. Ross, do you remember on your 1994 New Jersey seducing masters tapes? Tape 4, side B, 34 seconds in. You said the following pattern. And I'll say, stop. I don't remember that. Did you actually try the pattern? How many times did you try it? Once. What year was that tape series made? 1994. And what is today's date? 2007. And you tried it once? Yes, but I anticipate within another year there's a 3.5. Do you understand what he's doing? He thinks that he needs to be certain before he makes the move. He's looking for performance confidence before he does any performing. Let me unpack what I mean by the term performance confidence. Let's say you walk the tightrope at the circus. You've done it a thousand times before. It's reasonably certain that a thousand and one will be a good experience. True? Yes? You could fall off, but it's true. So these guys want performance confidence before they do any performing. So they wind up never having any performance and never having any confidence. Now, that's what I call a real problem, but here's the greater, more subtle problem. Here's the much more subtle problem. My meditation teacher taught me subtle is significant. It leads to a learning strategy where for every one point of action you do a thousand points of rumination, a thousand points of thinking. Has anyone ever known anyone who might be guilty of something like that in an intimate area of life? You don't have an attractiveness problem, my friend. You don't have an attraction problem, my friends. You have a fucked up learning strategy. It's a learning strategy issue, not an attractiveness issue. I could take anyone. In fact, when I work with private clients, I give them assignments. I gave the client this assignment. I said, I'm tired of your fucked up thinking and all the history you're giving me. If I give you an assignment to do, and I promise you it's not illegal, dangerous, or fat name, will you do it? He said, yes. I said, get a journal. Where do you live? Chicago. Is there a lot of people in Chicago? Yes. I want you to go to a place at noon where you can observe people like the financial district and pick out a guy who looks like he's got the world by the bait scene. Anyone speak Hebrew? Bait scene. Balls. Got the word world by the balls. Someone who looks like he's an alpha male. I don't believe there is such a critter, but that's a discussion for another day. Someone who looks like he's got the word world by the balls. He's dressed nice. Looks like he's got money, hot chicks. And what I want you to do, I want you to imagine you're taking all of your shitty programming and dumping it down into his head. And I want you to write me an essay of the way his life will look and feel 90 days after having your shitty programming. Make it a 10-page essay. So my students tend to do what I tell them to do because I'm a hypnotist, number one, and I charge them big fat fees so they want to get their money's worth. And he came back to me and he went, oh, it's just my programming in my head. It never was about me. I said, damn straight, look what you had to pay me to get to that realization. So I want to take a completely different angle and say it's not an attraction problem, an attractiveness problem. It's a fucked up learning strategy. Now a little bit later in this training, I'm going to give you the other number two biggest trap that keeps you stuck with women. And again, it's got nothing to do with attractiveness or gain. Oddly enough, because I teach game. So here's the lesson embedded in all of this, the paradox. When you can let go of that need for certainty, when you can make uncertainty your partner, your life partner, who you walk hand in hand with through life, when you can let go of the need to be certain before you make that move, the paradox is you become subtly attractive. And here's why. 99% of the people in the world, hot women included, are looking for a guarantee before they'll take a step into the unknown. When you can take a step into the unknown and be, oh, someone's writing, you don't need to write notes on this, just look up here and get the transmission. You can write if you want to, but you'll miss the transmission if you do. When you can walk through the world into the unknown, particularly into something that has been unnerving and not need that guarantee, you subtly communicate a different kind of confidence. It's what I call acceptance confidence. You are demonstrating through your behavior self-acceptance and the willingness to risk. Even if you don't yet have very good social skills and you're still practicing, when you can do that and not need to apologize to yourself or anyone else for it, you have what I call stealth attractiveness. No one can amog you out of it. Anyone know the term amog, alpha male, other guy? No one can put you down out of it. Now, if you can combine it for giving the other person radical permission to have their first response to you without making them wrong, then you really, really can open the door to something that before would never have been possible. Because people are not used to someone holding acceptance for them when they're being rude or nasty or angry. Let me illustrate with a story. So about 15 years ago, I was hanging out with a student. We were at a restaurant in Venice and this restaurant had an outdoor patio area. People would mingle and try to pick up on each other, et cetera, et cetera. It was like 12.30 in the morning. So let's get out of here. We're standing out in the driveway waiting for a cab, way before the days of Uber. And I spot a beautiful young woman standing there waiting for a cab and I just turned and very casually said, oh, look, there's a beautiful young lady waiting for her cab at the end of the evening. Now, for some reason, guys, this went in the wrong way. And she said, look, it's a dirty old fuck trying to get his freak on. She was right. But my student got very angry. His face turned red. He took a step and went to give her a piece of his mind. I put my arm out. I said, no. She could come from wherever she wants. We decide how we respond. Then I took a step towards her. I looked at her. I said, she's someone's daughter. She's someone's sister. She's someone's best friend. Somewhere, she's deeply loved. She burst into tears. Burst into tears, kind of running over to me, threw her arms around my neck, gave me a little kiss on the cheek. I said, oh my God, thank you, I love you. That was the sweetest thing anyone has said to me all night long. Guys have been treating me like there have been such pigs saying the worst things to me, grabbing my ass. What's your name? Mr. Wonderful, our cab's here. Have a good night. Now, what's the point of that story? Suppose I'd looked at her and seen a thing called a bitch or a cunt. A thing called a bitch or a cunt who was putting up a bitch shield or giving me a shit test. What would have happened? I didn't go into reaction. I gave her radical permission to have her first response and not make it about me. And I said, wait, that's not a thing called a bitch or a cunt. That's a human who's doing the activity, doing the activity of hurt and anger. She's having the experience of hurt and anger. How can I use my language to turn her emotions around so she experiences the emotional state I want her to be in? And how did I do that? I told a story about her that was a better story. She was telling herself the story, like an asshole, I fucking hate him. He's like the pigs in that restaurant. Well, I chose to tell her a different story. And I made the story about her. I said she's someone, and it was a true story too. I'm sure she is someone's sister, someone's best friend, someone's daughter, somewhere she is deeply loved. I use my language to create an emotional state of adoration and love through which she then saw me. One of my lessons to you, I can write this down, but I'll say it twice. The first time I get the transmission, the second time I write it. And remember, this is only my map. It is not true, and it's not science. It's my map. The metaphor of the map I'll give you is women see us through the emotions they feel for us. I'll say it again, women see us through the emotions they feel for us. Now again, it's not science. It is not science. It is not true with the capital T. It's my map, my model. I think it's a very useful one that tends to match what will happen. If you treat it as being true, it will give you a hell of a lot more power. A hell of a lot more power. Which brings me to the real premise of my system, speed seduction. And I'm going to make an outrageous claim. A crazy claim. An audacious claim. My crazy audacious claim is you don't need the way of the caveman or the complete, cool, socially-proof Alpha guys blueprint or the total bottle service mastery program. But what you would find extremely useful and very powerful is to learn how to structure your language to capture and lead a woman's imagination and emotions and then link that to yourself. So that she experiences those imaginations, that imagination, those thoughts, that flow of emotions, those feelings in her body and she links it to you. Because here's the mistake most guys in pickup make. They think in terms of behavior. How can I get her to give me her phone number? How can I get her to give me a blow job? Bring her twin sister and the doberman back to my place. How can I get all these behaviors? Wrong question. The far more useful question is this. How can I get her to feel the flows of emotion, picture the right things in her mind, get her into the right altered state where it's natural for her to give me all these behaviors? Does that make sense? Yes? For whom does it not make sense? Because please raise your hand. Questions are welcome here. I used to give out free pop tarts and condoms to people who ask questions. Are there any questions? Is that point not clear? Whether you agree with it or not is a clear point. So before you think of behaviors, think what states of consciousness do I want her to be in? And let me present to you a very vastly oversimplified unscientific model that I have of the way women's minds work. Again it's vastly oversimplified. It's unscientific and it's a real big over generalization but it's a useful map, a useful model to think about it. Fair enough? And you'll hear me over and over and over qualifying what I say because I'm a great respecter of science and I don't want to cloak myself in the mantle of science when I can't meet the standard of proof. Alright. So I know most of you won't be able to see this but so this is what I call the four level of the mind theory and the first level of a woman's mind I call it get it done but you can catch it on camera when you watch this on the 21 channel you'll see it. The get it done level. This is where the woman thinks of all the tasks she has to do. Gotta go to the bank, gotta do my homework, gotta get that nice guy to come over and wash my car all the stuff she has to get done. This is a very simple concept, right? There's nothing overly complicated here, is there? No. Next level is what I call social level. Ah! Here's where she has her checklist. Hmm, let's see. Gotta make more money than me. He's gotta be more popular than Brad. What would my girlfriends think of him? Would my girlfriends be jealous of me? What would my mom think? This is where she also keeps all the societal programming from mass media. Be a slut. No, don't be a slut. Bring forward your feminine sexuality. No, no, no. Make him wait five days. Blah, blah, blah. This is all the confusing, fucked up media messages that women have in their head. Believe me, I am not arguing for women's rights back in 1988. I was saying the only time to put a woman up on a pedestal is to look up her skirt. I said that. I actually, it's on YouTube. I had appeared in 1992 on a Faith Daniels show. I think the YouTube thing is an MRA, a PUA, and a feminist walk on to a talk show. It's on that one I said, where I think I said that statement. Man, the audience went crazy. I love to debate these female audiences. I'll take a detour here. I did a show called What Was the Show? But it was all female audience and me. The producers thought they would surprise me, but as soon as I saw that whole female audience, I thought, I'm not stuck in here with you. You're stuck in here with me. Bring it. Social level of the mind. So a lot of confusing mixed messages and she's concerned what her friends think, et cetera, et cetera. We clear on that. Crystal. Third level of the mind. Autopilot. Autopilot. That's where she keeps her standard fixed ideas. Like, I only date surfers. He's not my type. Have you ever heard a woman say, he's not my type? Anybody? Delve a little deeper and ask the question, how does she know? Not why does she say it, but how do you know he's not your type? I've asked women this. Not when they're talking to me, because they don't say that to me. If you actually saw what I could do with very attractive, scantily younger women, you would know there is no God. When a woman says, I'm not attracted to him, my response is, how do you know? And when she starts giving me a reason, saying, no, no, no, no. You're giving me why? As you are knowing you are, he is not your type. How are you knowing it? What else isn't happening? Well, I'm not picturing he and I in intimate situations. Ah, okay. So, autopilot is where she just has her quote standards. I only date surfers. I don't kiss on the first date. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Got it? Now, by the way, when you do the regular dating game, dating is for women you're already sleeping with. And it is. In my seminars, I take a poll, say, how many here have spent more than $10 to get laid? When they raise their hands, I go around, I say, put your hand down, and I smack them really hard on the back of the hand. True story. Then, the fourth level, ah, this is what I call the C of suggestion or suggestibility. This is where if you strip away all the rules she has to go by and all the roles she has to play. When she's no longer Debbie the daughter, Debbie the best friend, Debbie the wife, Debbie the girlfriend, but instead it's just her raw, organic, orgasmic desire stripped away from all that. By the way, you talk to a woman about this kind of thing, this is a theme that will wet panties very quickly. If you're not going to work. So, speed seduction says, how can we get to this level as quickly as possible? How can we skip over all the dating bullshit and her qualifying us and all that crap and demonstrating high authority and doing a double reverse backflip IOI and all that crap? Don't need to do it. How do we get to here? How do we get there? As quickly, as cheaply, as effectively powerfully and seemingly naturally as possible? Say again? Grab her imagination. Grab her imagination. Now, I'll get a very good answer I'm going to get there in a second. Just a little sidestep. I always find that my presentations are affected by who I meet at breakfast. I was sitting out there having a conversation with one of the students. He said, but Ross, you're teaching to hypnotize women. What's that all about? And my answer was, well, you're right, but here's the more scary thing. Here's the more profound and the more comprehensive thing about all of it. My claim to you and my challenge to you to go investigate is this. It's that the experiences in life are the most craved, the most treasured. Fascination, connection, love, you name it. Fundamentally happen on the unconscious level anyway. When you're attracted to a woman, all you feel is the end state, but you're probably not very consciously aware of the imagery you make in your mind, the memories of similar situations that are flooding you on the unconscious level. You're probably not very consciously aware of what you're saying to yourself back in the unconscious mind. My understanding that I want to convey to you is that fundamentally the stuff that goes on between men and women is fundamentally happening on the unconscious level anyway. And to the extent of the phenomena is unconscious, it's by definition and by nature hypnotic. You cannot not be hypnotic. You're either going to do it in a way that doesn't serve you or a way that does. Look, just to cut me a little slack here, anyone ever made the mortal sin? It is a mortal sin and you will go to hell unless you repent. Anyone here ever commit the mortal sin of taking a woman out to a super fancy dinner like spend well over a hundred bucks and you make, what do you do? You take her to Burger King? No. You can take her to Burger King and order a hundred burgers for a hundred bucks. No. You're a schmuck. You call up lobster de jure or something. You say, I want the best table overlooking the ocean. Make sure the lighting is exactly right. Are you really doing that so you can watch her shove the lobster bisque into her mouth? No. You're trying to create a mood. A mood where she will feel connected and horny. Only it's damn ineffective. For dating, for most men dating is like being in the dark room, being spun around and throwing a dart, hoping to hit the target. Dating is a form of trying to get lucky. Have you ever heard, it's even embedded in the technical vocabulary of the way men think about the subject. Have you ever heard a friend say maybe I'll get lucky? Yes? What if you were getting on your return flight? How many here flew to be here to Orlando? What if you were getting on your return flight? You looked into the cockpit and said to the pilot, how are we going to make sure we get to such and such a city? And he honestly, really sincerely, truthfully said I don't know, maybe we'll get lucky. Would you stay on that plane? Would you? So, we've got to use our language to do this. Now, since I've been talking about airplanes, let me give you an example on an airplane. So, I'm on a flight a few years back. I think it was from New Mexico going back to LA. And I'm sitting on the aisle seat and sitting on the other aisle seat, very attractive athletic blonde lady. I think she's about 25, 26 years old, wearing like a track suit. And this couple comes walking down the aisle and they're disgustingly in love. Baby, I love you so much you're my life, baby. And they would stop and kiss each other. I was just already discussing, please baby Jesus, I know I don't believe in you, but not in my road, not in my road. What do you know? She sits in the middle seat over here. There's no one sitting by the window. He sits in the middle seat over there and what are they commenced to do before we're even on the doors even shut? Baby, I love you. I love you so much. And I'm, I can look at Blondie and Blondie's rolling her eyes and I'm rolling my eyes. I turn to the lady here and this lovey-dovey, I said, hey how would you like to be able to switch seats with that blonde lady so you get to sit with your guy you're in love with? She said, how are you going to do that? I said, not only will I get that blonde lady to come sit over here, by the end of the flight I'll have her phone number. She said, how are you going to do that? I said, trust me, I'll do that. So, we get to altitude and I tap her on the shoulder and I say, hey sporty she's wearing the sporty. What say we change seats? You sit with her, you sit where this lady is so she can sit with her lovey-dovey guy and we don't have to be bothered by it. She said, okay, but I want your aisle seat. So now, are you following us? I'm in the middle, Sarah is her name, sitting now. I introduce myself to her and she takes out this notebook and she's going through technical drawings and it says JPL NASA. I said, what are you working on? I design micro-satellites for JPL NASA. I'm an aerospace engineer. I said, oh, I'm an aerospace engineer myself. She said, where did you go to school? I said, no, no, no. Aerospace, E-R-O-S space. I helped men and women engineer that gap so a woman can feel that connection. You really want to feel Sarah. I get this. How do you do that? I said, well, imagine there's a sphere of pure potential. It's just completely empty. It holds all possible equations but there's nothing actually in it. And what does she do? Her pupils dilate and I now have her imagining something that's not there. She just happened to be a really good subject. They're not all this responsive, but Sarah was. I said, now, I put a little bit of curiosity. I put a little playfulness in that ball. I bounce it a few times. I throw it to you. You catch it. What does Sarah do? I'm not shitting you. She goes, it's a good subject. She said, now, you put a little bit of fun in there. A little fun banter. You put it in and you bounce it back to me. And maybe what I do, Sarah, is I put in that tension. You know, that tension that grows between two people before something's going to happen. I put some of that in the ball, bounce it over to you. You take it and it feels really, really good. And suddenly we recognize after a few iterations I used her technical vocabulary. Iteration means repetition. It's just what a scientist would say. Suddenly that ball has grown so big we can't bounce it anymore because it's become a sphere and it fills the entire volume of space between us and we both have our hands on it at the same time. And all it takes is one little sip of breath and she breathes with me and one little lean forward she leans forward towards me and suddenly we're engulfed in that sphere and all there is is you and I and that tension that happens just before a person recognizes something really big's about to go down. Make out, make out, make out, make out, make out, make out, make out, make out. Suddenly she stops. I have a boyfriend and he's waiting for me at the airport in my response what happens on the plane stays on the plane. Make out, make out, make out, make out, stop, stop, I stop because I don't want to take any further and I'm too tall to join the mile high club. So this happens on an air some of you are looking me like bullshit Ross no I swear on my best oath this really, really fucking happened. Now how was I able to do that why couldn't I have said to Sarah hey Sarah you're going to look at me you're going to feel fascinated you're going to get really, really horny and then you're going to kiss me why couldn't I have directly said that to Sarah it's not a trick question what would Sarah have done say again call button this guy sexually harassing me the FBI would have been waiting for me at the door so here's the thing guys my teaching to you is there are certain themes that are likely to get a woman excited if the subject of your conversation has data points if you can put it on a map or chart or a graph forget it it's not going to turn them on but there are certain themes that get women excited that open tend to open up that fourth place in the mind what theme did I use with Sarah the real theme I used is the theme of tension that sense of tension between a man and a woman that's a big component of building a rousal and attraction is tension if you're not getting anywhere with women one of the problems is you're not able to build sexual tension so by discussing it and then giving her some a little bit of suggestive language now how many people were thinking Ross that's pretty creepy suggestive language you're using the way you're using your voice and your intonation be honest you bald as fuckers I know at least two or three of you were thinking that nobody? array for me so what are some of the themes that would turn women on anyone hear the phrase what happens in Vegas what? what does that imply who does that give permission to men or women god damn right I talked to years ago I had a thing going on with my hairdresser Jill but then Jill cut it off because she got engaged she said I found the man for me sorry we can't do this anymore then I go to get my hair done and Jill says hey I just got back from Vegas really did you have fun she said I got it on with a girl and a guy I said Jill that's cheating she said no it's not it happened in Vegas this is a woman's ability to compartmentalize all human beings can compartmentalize but I think this is only my theory it's not science it's not based on any kind of scientific proof I think when it comes to sex and romance women can compartmentalize do you know what compartmentalize means they can put something in a certain compartment in their mind in a certain context and it doesn't map over into another reality that they're in so hypergamy is a great interesting concept I agree with it but compartmentalization is also another piece in understanding women does this make sense yes or no are you following me are you awake is this interesting to you alright good so what are some of the states that we would what are some of the themes that would excite women how about adventure that no one needs to ever find out about that was one of the themes I used on Sarah what happens on the plane stays on the plane sexual tension right the notion of being in a bubble where the rest of the world just disappears and all there's left is you and me women think this way they think about this kind of things we're thinking how can I get her legs up behind her here bam bam bam they're thinking that too and in addition to that they have these other layers going on so what are some of the themes you guys think I'm gonna test you guys what are some of the themes you think would get women excited partner in crime I like that yeah good what else being dominated god damn straight he's not really on most women's mind I get your point yes yes what else huh falling in love okay I'll buy that what else secret location who said food close but no cigar I would say indulgence wicked indulgence I have this pattern about eating chocolate it's actually my blow job pattern I don't have time to teach it where I talk to them about indulgence do you love chocolate I can't get into the pattern right now but yeah these are all really good ones these are really good ones really good ones so one theme that I really like a theme that I think is really interesting is that again I'm gonna return to that theme of tension that theme of sexual tension and a woman feeling so compelled that she can't help herself you ever heard a woman say that there's just something about him I couldn't help myself yes how would you like that guy to be you yes I'm such a good guy I'm gonna teach you that right now for free here's how you would apply it anyone ever go to a party or a social situation where there's women well if you don't I can't help you you're beyond my help by the way if you're looking at your phone or checking your messages you're dumb you're really missing out here okay so here's one you can use at a party and I'm going to acknowledge it first it's going to seem impossible it may seem a little impossible you think I can't talk that way and women would think I'm a creep I'm going to give you a principle when you go fishing do you bait the hook with what you like to eat yes or no you bait the hook with what the fish likes to eat so hundreds of thousands of my students will tell you this is what the fish likes to eat it's what the tuna wants to gobble not the tuna that you want to gobble yourself think about that so let's say you're at a party or a social situation let's say a party what's a natural thing that actually happens in that context people eat what else do people do they drink okay make it more interpersonal they talk they mingle that's right that's right every once in a while it's a really observant what can you see happen at a party I don't mean on the gross level but on a more subtle level what can you see happening between a man and a woman they're gravitating towards each other that's right I wish I could step off the stage for emphasis but they won't allow me they gravitate towards each other very interesting do you think women are interested in that topic yes or no come on really who's not getting it women are really interested in the idea of being magnetized by a man in general again speaking in generalities does that make sense to you have you not ever heard a woman say there's something magnetic about him I felt drawn towards him guys they're giving us the combination to the fucking pink paradise sake so let's push the fucking buttons don't ignore it and talk about your car or tell a story that demonstrates that you're a leader of men protector of loved ones shut your fucking mouth until you get the point of conversation where you can begin to introduce these themes and inside of the themes here's the hypnotic part we use embedded commands and embedded suggestions embedded commands tell a person you can write this you can write down first let me tell it to you then you can write it so I'll tell it to you and then I'll give it to you again word for word so look up here get the transmission please embedded commands tell a person what to think what to feel an action to take or all three of them embedded suggestions just remind the unconscious mind to repeat the commands so you give the commands and then the suggestion tells the unconscious mind put that on an endless loop and play it over and over and over and over and over again so I don't know computer programming exactly so I don't know the analogy but commands set the program going suggestions put on an endless loop and the more the loop repeats the stronger it gets in hypnosis we call this the law of compound suggestion you follow so here's what I would do at a party and I've done this before I suggest you guys give it a shot and bearing in mind what may sound creepy to you will be very attractive to one say something like this make your small talk make your laugh do some banter that a lot of people can teach I could teach that but not here I don't have the time I have a little more than 13 minutes you say something like this you know what I'd love to do at a place like this I like to people watch do you like to people watch Debbie now who's going to say no they don't like to people watch and is that not something that naturally takes place at a party yes or no so far it's natural and I'd like to watch that moment just before two people who are going to be into each other for a long time first recognize that's taking place it's that tension just before a woman sees something really big is about to go down do you hear the ambiguity something really big a new direction for your thinking am I saying new direction or new direction do you hear the phonetic ambiguity in this context the phonetic ambiguities work going up to a woman say hey Debbie my thoughts are below me that won't work and people ridicule my work by taking it out of context but in the context of this conversation it works now so I've just said this to Debbie I don't want Debbie to talk about it so I do let me repeat that last bit it's that tension just before a person recognizes something really big is about to go down then I want to change the subject I'll say you know what I think it comes down to pheromones that's why I never wash my t-shirt anyway Debbie when you were a little girl did you have a favorite I want to get her off the topic why don't I want Debbie to give me her answer to talk about it can anyone guess if she starts talking about it then the suggestions lose all their power I want them to get buried and repressed down into the unconscious you understand by changing the subject they get suppressed into the unconscious and now they're running more and more they're running in the background you'll see it in her eyes her pupils will dilate and then like four minutes in the conversation you're talking about something completely different she'll grab you by the shirt and lock one on you I know this sounds impossible go to my website seduction.com we have something called the wall of proof you'll see video after video after video of guys old fat there's a guy with no arms and no legs and he gets laid and I know he gets laid because he got with my favorite ex-girlfriend who is helping me to facilitate the goddamn seminar that he was at she told me he was all over me how he did it without arms and legs I don't know you follow now I would be remiss and cheating you guys if I didn't talk about the other element of what I teach which is the inner game part so let me tell you a story here to introduce it I had a student took one of my courses he practiced for a period of a couple of months decides he's really going to go for it goes to a club and there's a smoking hot woman there and she's the woman where guys make that invisible u-turn you know what I'm talking about he goes up to her he says I don't know what you're doing with all these other men but it's not working with me he within 20 minutes does a couple of my patterns 20 minutes later they're making out like crazy he takes a break looks around and people are like what is this guy doing he figures he's going to play it cool mistake number one he didn't try to get her out of there the same night he didn't get my memo he gets a card a phone number that has her cell number on it he figures I'm going to be a cool dude I'm going to make her wait waits three days three days come by sounds like the story of Christ after three days ransacks his desk can't find the card goes through his condo can't find the card anywhere he thinks holy shit it's dumpster night threw it out in the dumpsters he lived in a big condo complex five dumpsters after 90 minutes no phone number now what he said next holds profound significance for all of you what he said next he said Ross my old self came back I've been depressed for six weeks I can't even talk to a woman why do I always fuck it up with women I have a question for you guys where was his old self when he was making out with that woman and getting the envy of every guy in the club where did his new self go when his old self came back Pismo Beach, Jerusalem where did it go come on I want some answers anybody huh? subconscious anybody else it's still there the old self is still there when he was making out with a chick okay I'll take that one more answer yes oh interesting I'm going to give you a B minus on that but not bad here's what I think say again who said that very good answer that's an A plus very good answer here's my idea here's the really interesting thing for me is a hypnotist I asked myself the question how is it possible that he hallucinated a way that he gave himself an amnesia for everything he did right because he did a lot of things right that evening he prepared himself right he got dressed properly he worked on his attitude he made the approach, introduced himself right did the language patterns, got a great make out but in his mind all he saw was failure am I teaching to you is that he looked at his progress through the pain of his past he looked at his progress through the pain of his past and an area of life that has pain and confusion and trauma and by the way half of what I do is healing work with people a lot of my seminars I'm doing a lot of covert healing work a lot of guys who come to this community have a lot of trauma that needs to be gotten out of the way it's not about them being beta males it's about them being traumatized human beings so if you say to a traumatized person you just need to act alpha and do this you're just giving them more things to do self torture right so he was looking at his progress and his potential through the pain of his past my mother may her memory be for a blessing he was one of my great teachers he used to say if you dip your glasses in shit even the roses are going to look brown so that's the profound challenge in an area of life that's really painful it takes training and discipline and if you can afford it, coaching to see your progress so what do you do now the other piece of poison that he really swallowed down is that question he asked why do I keep fucking it up with women how many people have ever had a situation with a woman and you tormented yourself with that question you did it, I fuck it up with her what did I do wrong how many people have ever done that confess now here's a rule of consciousness I'll give you and I will lean on this is almost being true with a capital T it's as close to truth with a capital T as anything I'm going to teach and here's what it is rule of mind what you dwell on what you dwell on is no different to the brain than what you do so when you dwell on mistakes over and over and over you're programming it back in so naturally when you're in the same context again the brain is just going to look to what you programmed in it's going to repeat it it's not that you're a thing called a self-sabotage or you have some mysterious lack of an ethereal substance called self-esteem I have low self-esteem my students come to me and tell me that my standard answer is $500 an ounce I'll come down, drill a hole in the middle of your brain and we'll pour it in do you want me to do that? yeah so when you do this you're not trying to self-sabotage yourself what do you have? you have a shitty learning strategy that shitty learning strategy number two what was the first shitty learning strategy? you remember? for every one one unit of action you do a hundred or a thousand points of thinking about it now again if I took someone and programmed them to dwell on their mistakes over and over and over I could take the most competent capable person and turn them into a wreck does that make sense? I want to demystify the whole process so you can see what's going on you can see it's not really an attraction an attraction problem if you're attracted to this problem it's a bad learning problem you're reprogramming the mistakes back in ok so we've pretty much gotten to close the end of the time together first I want to thank you for the profound honor of letting me be your teacher and I want to draw that distinction again the speaker only does a one way communication but a teacher does something different it's my joy it's my joy to open up your minds in a way where you could never go back to seeing things the way you used to it's like when you were a little child and you had to learn to tell time and maybe you don't remember or can't send your mind back to that time but I remember it being the first grade and I've really had the struggle to read that clock what does it mean to have a big hand and a little hand I didn't see any hands there and what does seconds mean or minutes you never seen minutes you saw puppies and kittens but minutes and seconds and why does the big hand on the six and the little hand on the twelve why isn't it that twelve plus six and you struggled and struggled to learn and I remember one day one morning I woke up and suddenly I could read that clock on the wall I was able to tell time that gift of a new understanding and you didn't know it at the time but that ability to tell time became the foundation of so many things the ability to show up for a conference on time to meet a friend to show up for a job interview to show that learning the seconds and the minutes and listening to the click tick tick the clock there's also that phenomena you might remember when you were in school and summer vacation it was the last day before summer vacation that clock seemed to move so slowly towards three o'clock the last five minutes seemed like months months click and you were free completely free now to do whatever it is you want so tonight when you sleep and you dream you're going to take all the learnings of the crown plaza downtown and run it through that place and you may be surprised to find that new behaviors, new thoughts new ways of feeling spontaneously come forth without any effort on your part you may be fucked up and wrong it may not surprise you at all so thank you for the honor of having me be your teacher and we'll take some questions but thank you very much I'm profoundly moved by the program questions do you want to get them on the mic? yeah one caveat I'm not going to, don't ask me questions about what do I think about Neil Strauss he really sniffed Carmen Electra's ass yes I was aiming at her pussy but she turned around true story I think one of the things that was coming up for me that I was struggling with hold it to your mouth I think one of the things that was coming up for me that I was struggling with was this idea of I'm going to create this the idea of this emotion in her and then link it to me rather than becoming the type of the guy who can create the emotion by myself that's what I see in there I see in either or where there's an and it's not either I become the kind of guy she's attracted to or I use my language it's and you can do both so what I see here is a limitation an either or limitation in your mouth now my question is does that generalize globally out to the way you think about the entire world that's the larger pattern if I were to take you on as a the client is revealing something to me outside of the content about the way he thinks the terms in which he thinks about the world he thinks in terms of either or black, white do you understand what I'm saying I do questions can you run a mic to this gentleman here and then I see you I see you but yes so you mentioned to not dwell on failures and I guess that reminds you mentioned to not dwell on failures and I noticed that I put it that way but yes go ahead so it reminded me of how professional athletes they often times visualize them succeeding even before the game starts so do you recommend those kinds of visualizations well yes and no I teach what I call rehearsal confidence the problem with rehearsal confidence is if you have someone who's very risk averse they're going to just do rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal but when it comes to this to the real world they're going to fall back on that need for certainty it's only going to feed their need for certainty so when you're very I'm blowing my own horn here I've been doing this 30 years so you need to have therapeutic intuition and say this person I'm not going to teach rehearsal confidence first I'm going to teach them acceptance confidence I'm going to teach them how to track the sensation of discomfort in fact I'll give them an assignment that deliberately makes them uncomfortable just so they can learn to live with it so my answer is it depends if you're someone who's very risk averse and really needs that certainty I'm not going to give you rehearsal confidence first first I'll train you to be okay with uncertainty did I answer you we had a question over here this gentleman this handsome dude thanks that was really amazing what was that thank you that was really amazing your talk was really amazing I agree go ahead I unfortunately seem to suffer from both bad learning strategies so what would you recommend to snap out of both the you know what I'm a generous guy I'll work with you for free this weekend when we have some spare time all you have to do is buy me a meal and tell everyone what a fucking difference I made in an hour in fact I may be able to get this in half an hour thank you buy me dinner you give your testimony I don't drink alcohol thank you though do we have time for Anthony you're the boss how many more questions do we take we have someone with hands up back there so you're very much focused I would say like seduction around emotional storytelling bring her in this mood by talking by putting like words forward are you also using non-verbal cues to create this well I would say I'm using yes I'm using self-referential gestures like you know Sarah when you feel that tension between two people I'm not calling an airstrike I'm making it very subtle but I'm also using what I would call analog let me unpack it very quickly in NLP my discipline neuro-linguistic programming trained by Richard Bandler among other people the co-creator of NLP so I know my shit we have analog analog is anything that varies on a range have you ever seen a light with a dimmer switch so there's lights when you turn on or turn off that's digital then there's analog I do use my analogs with my voice when I want to embed a command I'll talk a little softer so I am using my analogs whether you call that non-verbals or whatever it's the analog component of the digital words is that a distinction that you've heard before do you get the distinction I'm making as far as body language and the rest of it here's the interesting thing when you teach people to be okay with discomfort their body language will naturally shift I do this thing where I can cure stage fright sometimes in three minutes and you'll see the I don't tell them to stand more comfortably put their hands on the hips but as they go through it they naturally do those things let's take one more question and I'm over time I had a question I lost my voice getting excited can some of them repeat it for him because I can't hear him yeah it's about discomfort and how to become more comfortable with discomfort also when you were giving us the example of the magnetism I noticed your voice and your tonality like you were just saying analog and a lot of pausing how do you practice that better yes well that's true the second part is true a big part of what I teach is speaking in a hypnotic way and being very subtle with it it's not governor talking my voice will make you obey the force it's much more subtle than that subtle is significant the greatest teacher in my whole life taught me that did I answer your question my quick recommendation is my there's a series by my meditation teacher called Breakthrough Difficult Emotions his name is Shinzen Yang S-H-I-N-Z-E-N Yang, Y-O-U-N-G the greatest teacher of my life and the most intelligent human being I've ever met I think it's my time to get the fuck once again thank you very much