 I haven't kept you waiting. Yes, this is the crime club. I'm the librarian. A deed indeed. Yes, we have that story for you. Come right over. Take the easy chair by the window. Comfortable. The manuscript is on this shelf. Here it is. A deed indeed. The very exciting story of a nightclub that was operated by death. Let's look at it under the reading lamp. The Mannings, that is Mark and Julia Manning, were the kind of happy-go-lucky husband and wife who knew everyone and went everywhere. And, believe it or not, they were happy. It was only one evening and they were in their apartment in Midtown, New York. But they were not together. Mark was in the bedroom and Julia was in the living room, slowly but surely, biting the polish off her lovely nails. Then... Mark? Are you going to finish dressing sometime tonight? Right away. It was right away ten minutes ago. Beautiful. Now come on, let's hurry. I'd like to see what a theater looks like before the curtain goes out. No, right away. Oh, for pity's sake, what's the matter now? I've got to take a handkerchief. It's amazing that... Now who can that be? Open the door and find out. And if it's for me, just tear it up. We heard you the first time. Ah, greetings, greetings and salutations. We've got all we need, thank you. Never close the door in the face of a benefactor. Do I have to wrestle with you too? It could be fun, you know. Now, um... What do you want? I have something for Mr. Mark Manning. Is he at home? He certainly is. Splendid, splendid. And would you be Mrs. Manning? I would. Then let me ask you a question. Do you know how many shopping days there are to Christmas? Now look here, Mr. What's your name? It isn't Mr. What's your name. It's Faraway. It couldn't be. Oh, then I've been deceived. Now what was I saying? Oh yes, something about Christmas. Well, it's here, dear lady. It's for you, Mark, and I can't tear it up. So I see. His name's Faraway. Oh, Faraway, Faraway, Faraway and Faraway. Business counselors and managers deluxe. I'm the third Faraway from the left. How does it feel? Well, it's a little... Come on, tell him we're in a hurry. Yes, it seems to Faraway we're in a hurry. If you'd like to make an appointment, meet me say at, um, two o'clock next winter, I'd be glad to... Young man, I have a mission to accomplish tonight. Here's a paper for you. A summons? Take it and be surprised. It's a deed to the Locust Club, that grand, that magnificent bistro at the river's edge where New York and Westchester meet. The Locust Club? That great harmonium of joy. It's all yours, my boy. Mark, is he kidding or is he just cashew? Gesundheit, dear lady. Thank you. What? I don't get this, Julia. It's a deed made out to me by Lou Barton. Who's he? Your husband's angel, Mrs. Manning, the man who never forgets a service. Um, Mr. Faraway, there must be some mistake. I never heard of the guy. Please, sir. Mr. Barton is my client. Sorry. But what did I do for him? Let your mind go back six years to a certain episode in Pittsburgh. I wasn't in Pittsburgh six years ago. Modestly, my boy, the purest of all virtues. And you have it abundantly. Well, I have fulfilled my mission of good will. And now, may I say au revoir? You may. Au revoir. Of all the nutty things to happen. What do you make of it? Gag, Julia, somebody's having a lot of fun. By handing out a deed? Look, it's dated three months ago. Did you ever hear the Locust Club? No. And it doesn't exist. And if it does, it's a hole in the wall that nobody goes to anyway. Mark, what are you doing? What? Well, I'll be cooked. I meant to tear up the deed and I tore up the theater tickets instead. Dearest, would you call that a mistake? Well... It's backfiring. I'm not going to the Locust Club. I'm not going. And don't try to persuade me. All right, darling, I won't. Why should I be a sucker for a gag? Would you stay home and look at the walls? Ah, look at them, dear. Aren't they beautiful? Hiya, Sally. What brings you here so early? I'll give you one guess. You fell out of bed. I met Claude Farroway in New York. He told me one of Grimm's fairy tales. Which one? About you giving this club away to a guy named Mark Manning. Oh. As a matter of fact, the deed was recorded three months ago. What? But Manning got it tonight. I figured it was tonight or never. Why, Lou? The, uh, the weatherman predicted a heat wave. Uh-oh. When did he start predicting? Three months ago, Kitty said it was getting warm. So you ditched the club. You couldn't wait. I was taken no chances. You know how the weather is around here once it gets warm. Why didn't you tell me? I like your face, baby. Without wrinkles. You should have told me. Lou, we've been together for a long time. We always shared and shared a light. The club was mine, Sally. I felt like giving it away. I wasn't talking about that. Oh, sure. You don't care about the material things. Well, what happens now? Break it down, Cookie. Do we stick around or do we go to a better climate? We stick around. In the heat? We got nothing to worry about. Mark Manning's a new boss. We're working for him. OK, but suppose he screams. I expect him to. Great. How will that register with the weatherman? Sally, you disappoint me. You used to be able to figure the angles. When I knew who to figure him against. But who's Mark Manning? What kind of a guy is he? He breathes for a living. I quit kidding, Lou. What's the difference? I checked him and found out he's got a weakness for nightclub. That doesn't mean he's going to like what you're doing to him. You're not figuring the angles, baby. I've got that guy covered from so many angles he'll stab himself to death trying to get out. Mark, this can't be the place. This can't be the local club that Mr. Faraway was talking about. You see another one around here, Julia? Good heavens. Somebody must be out of his mind. This is luxurious. No understatements, please. Most people, hundreds of them. Sitting at tables, eating and drinking. Yes, that's so much nicer than writing on the tablecloth. Mark, aren't you excited about this? Excited, here. My nerves are bouncing like handballs. Well, you might show it. I will. First, I've got to stop wondering. Oh. That's right, darling. Why should I get a paying proposition like this for nothing? Yes. Come on, let's find out. Welcome to the Locust Club, where the food is good and the prices are nice. Hello. You got a reservation? No, but you see. You're right a lot, mister. We're all filled up. Let me explain. We didn't come at chance. Now, the next time you want to eat here, better phone in advance. She stands for Joe. That's me. Make a note of it, Mark. All right, dear. I'll write it down. Joe, is this place always as crowded as this? Only at night, lady. It's closed all day. Well, my husband and I are going to change that policy. We're going to serve lunch. Honey, if you don't mind shifting to the guard position, I'd like to go through center. Of course, dear. Thanks. Now, Joe, where's the owner of this place? The owner? I said it first. You mean the real owner? Let sit down, Joe. You must be pretty tired. Well, do no good, mister. I'm even tired when I sit. Let me try it, Mark. Joe, who signs the checks? Oh, him. Yeah, him. He ain't in. Take a deep breath, Joe. Now, what time will he be in? He got me there, mister. I never even seen a guy. You mean you never had a glimpse of Lou Barton? Him? Oh, sure, lots of times. But he don't own it no more. A fellow called Mark Manning's the new boss. And we've been sort of waiting to get a look at him. Well, look with all your might, Joe. I'm Mark Manning. All right, I looked already. You? Mark, you shouldn't do such things. You made him open his eyes. Where's Lou Barton, Joe? Sure, sure. He's in that office right there. He said for me to send him in soon, did I? You sure you never heard of a Lou Barton? Not by name, dear. Think of it, I seem to remember. Somewhere long time ago? You're thinking of Sydney Carton, the guy who lost his head in the tale of two cities? Of course. Now look here, Mark Manning. The office. Who's there? Huh? I don't recognize the voice either. Let's go in, Julia. I said who's there, buddy. Are you Lou Barton? Yeah, what do you want? I'm Mark Manning. Mark? Mark? Well, oh, shit, of course. Gee, I'm glad to see you, Mark. It's been such a long time. Hey, hey, well, wait a minute. Oh, what's the matter, sweetheart? Don't even rate a kiss? Go on, give her a kiss, pal, for old time's sake. Get away from me. Now now, listen, Julia, you've got to believe me. Do I? It's a gag, like the club. I've never seen that gal before. I'll bet. Why, Mark, how can you say such a thing after all those wonderful times we had in Pittsburgh? Shut up, you bat. This is my wife, Julia. Hello. Oh, she's not bad, bud. All right, you two. What's this all about? We're just glad to see you, that's all. Why? Why? Sally, something's happened to our old pal. What is it, Mark? What's changed? Cut it out, Barton. Was it marriage, but she looks like a nice girl? I said cut it out, Barton. OK. OK. I've been double-crossed before. Get me a drink, Sally. This is hard to take. Oh, I can't believe it, Lou. I just can't believe it. Julia, darling, I don't know these people. I never met them before. Of course, dear. You've got to listen to me. I'll do that later when we get home. But right now, don't you think we ought to find out why they gave you this club? I gave it to them, Julia. He saved my life. You don't remember, do you, Mark? Well, to you, it was a little thing. But to me, I'll never forget it that night in Pittsburgh six years ago. What did I do? What did he do? You hear that, Sally? How can you live in the same world with a guy like that? That's life, sweetheart. Yeah. Listen, Mark, at great risk to your own life, you pulled me out of a fire. I've been building myself up for six years to show my appreciation. Then you can start building yourself down. I don't want your club. Here's your deed. Uh-oh. You can't do that, pal. Take a look. I've done it. Let's say you made it the try. There's a copy of that deed on file at the land office. What? It's been there for three months. And I've got proof, two signatures, that you accepted this club as consideration for no debt. The whole transaction was notarized by a certain Mr. Faraway. Yeah. Well, Julia, shall we go out front and take a look at my property? I still don't understand. Neither do I, darling. But why bother to figure things out now? We got our whole lives ahead of us. Now, what's left of them? Did you say something, Mark? No, dear, but I'd like to. This place is beginning to get me. Uh-huh. Julia? Yes. Did something happen to me six years ago? Something you never told me about? Why don't you ask Sally? Is it possible I had amnesia? What? Did I wander off to Pittsburgh and, you know, without knowing what I was doing? Take a look at this menu. I don't feel like eating. Julia, you've got to tell me the truth. It's printed on this menu. Take a look at it. Maybe you'll get amnesia now. Don't stare at me. Look at the menu. And then tell me how a night club could give a steak for dinner for a dollar and make money. Is that what I'm doing? You're also selling cocktails for a quarter and lamb chops for 75 cents. Wow. You know what a steak and lamb chops cost these days? When you have to buy them? Yeah, but maybe we're giving them small portions, huh? Yeah, that must be it. Come on, let's take a look at the kitchen. Greetings, greetings, and salutations, people of good fortune. Run for your life, Mark. Here comes that man again. Ah, a true of inspection, huh? Tell me, Mr. Manning, has your fertile brain erupted some useful ideas? I've been thinking far away. Naturally. This glittering bistro lends itself. At what rate of interest, Mr. Faraway? Ah, yes. Your ideas, Mr. Manning. How would you like to see Del Monaco's come to life again? Ah, what a thought. My boy, you've touched a tender spot. Long, slumbering memories. You're going to see it here at popular prices. Why improve, darling? These prices are popular or not. First, I'll rip out all those light fixtures and put in soft, indirect lighting. Then I'll throw out all those tables and chairs. Hey, where's the boss at this place? What? No. See, you're my good man. Never mind the compliments. All I want is the owner, Mark Manning. The guy in the office told me he was out here. Hi, Mr. Manning. OK. You owe green and black 1,000 bucks for light fixtures. Do I? Who says so? I do. Deputy Sheriff O'Malley. You owe white and brown 700 bucks for tables and chairs. Now, wait a minute. And there's an unpaid food bill for 800 bucks, a total of 2,500 bucks. Would you like to pay me now, Mr. Manning? I certainly would not. OK, boys. Stop ripping out all those tables. Delmonico's darling. Should we go home now? Stop them, Sheriff. You can't do this without a court order. Well, here it is, Mr. You could read it if you want to. Hey, you reckless. Get into the kitchen and start packing up the food. Now, listen, Sheriff. And you over there. Start working on the tables and chairs. Far away. You're going to stop them. What can I do about it? Well, let me see. I'm a business consultant and manager. Listen, don't sell yourself to me now. I also have some knowledge of the law, young man. This paper is quite legal. My advice is to pay. But far away. If you don't, these men will ruin the place. And your creditors will have judgments against you anyway. You mean I'm stuck? I'm afraid so. Pay now, and we'll find ways and means of recovery later. All right, Sheriff. I'll give you one check for the whole amount. Hey, suit yourself, Mr. You. How does that line go, Sheriff? All the glitters. Don't ask me, lady. The mayor don't give us much time for reading. How often? Not even a horror story? Hold everything, boys. Here's your check, Sheriff. A year. OK, boys, grab it. They're all creatures, aren't they? I brought them upright. OK, boys, we're through here. Let's go home. Now far away, what about those ways and means of recovery? Not so fast, Mr. Manning. The law books are in my office. Hurry up and get your nose into them. I want action. I'll do that at once. Come on, Julia. We're going to give Mr. Barton another interview. Mark, you poor darling. Three whole months of Thanksgiving and you've already had your turkey. You don't believe me, do you, Mark? No, Lou, I don't. Well, maybe I shouldn't blame you. But I tell you, I didn't know a thing about those judgments. You told the sheriff where to find me. You had me all set up for the rap. Is that what you really think, pal? What's the idea of unloading this lemon on me? Oh, and while we're on the subject of fruit, Mr. Barton, where's Sally? Oh, she went out for a minute. Julia. Yes, Mark? Shut up, pal, Lou. Do I get an answer or do I have to pull it out of the teeth? You're all wrong, pal. But I'll make it right. How much did the sheriff take you for? $2,500. All right. Here's my certified check for $10,000 made out to you. Your what? Certified, you know, OK'd by the bank. That, darling, is what I call a profit. 300% even these days it ain't bad. Yeah. And in order to get that check, what do I have to do? Just deed the club back to me. And by an odd coincidence, you've got one already made out. Yeah, funny, isn't it? You're too well prepared for emergencies, Mark. That's because I'm farsighted. Here's the pen. And there's the dotted line. Julia. Don't ask me what to do, Mark. I've shut up. Well, I'm sorry, Lou. I'll need time to think it over. Why? I'm curious. And when I'm curious, I ask Julia the next time she feels like talking. Better use that pen, Manny. Press? It also writes under blood. When this thing goes off, you can't send the bullet back. So I've been told. All right, I'll take the pen. And as long as you've got me, I'll stick the gun to you. Cut it out. Look out. He's going to trick you. Drop it, pardon me. Put your foot down. I think so, or maybe I'm kidding myself. He fell down. Mark, are you sure he's dead? You couldn't be wrong. If he ever starts breathing again, you can ask him. What do we do now? Find out who killed him, Julia. Didn't you? I mean, didn't the gun go off while you were wrestling with him? Yes, dear, but not the one Barton was holding. What are you talking about? Huh? Keep yourself. Boy, it's fully loaded. Mm-hmm. Then it's got to be murder. Yeah. But where did the shot come from? The door. No, dear, I was facing it. The window? A lot. Julia, come here. What's the matter? Darling, if you put a throw rug on the floor, would you leave it with a bump in the middle? Mark, you know I'm very fatigued here about. Why didn't you tell me there was a trapped door under that rug? I couldn't, dear, until I moved it. Tell her. Darling, sometimes you're so bright, I can't understand why you married an ordinary man like me. Let's go down and watch your step. Do we have to do this, Mark? No, but we've gone this far. Why not follow through? Dark. Damp down here. Just think of it as atmosphere. I'd rather not. Mark, look! Oh, darling, don't jump at me like that when I'm hunting a killer. Never mind that. Look at all those cases, Mark, liquor. Julia, dear, upstairs is a nightclub where people drink that stuff. But there must be hundreds of them. There are millions all over the world. Mark Manning, I'm talking about the cases in this cellar. Oh. Here's one that's open. Just take one bottle, dear. We'll come back for the rest later. Mark, this isn't liquor. What? It's the most wonderful thing that's happened to me. I'm afraid I'm going to cry. Honey, get a grip on yourself. Talk to me. In this bottle. And in all these cases, Mark, liquor. Is that what you call talking? Viva Moore. Vivian who? Viva Moore, that new French perfume. $100 an ounce. We can't afford those luxuries yet, dear. What did you say? It's all mine. I'm set for life. All my friends are set for life. Julia, that's contraband. No, it's Viva Moore. Here, smell it. It's contraband, dear. Smuggle stuff. Lou Barton's racket. I unloaded this club on me. You mean I can't use it? Uncle Sam has a prior claim. Oh, that man. Take it easy. Let me explain something. You'll never make me happy, Mark. Lou Barton must have been bringing his stuff in without telling our uncle about it. Uncle got suspicious about three months ago, and Lou gave me a deed without telling me. He even filed it. That made me the owner, Julia, and the fall guy. All this wonderful perfume. And they'll probably send it back to France. They don't send me to jail. What? You know that place with bars on it? But why you? He pushed a stick into me and called me a lollipop. Oh. But why did Barton offer to do $10,000 to get his club back? To get his club back. That's what I asked you. That deed he wanted me to sign was going to be locked up until after Uncle Sam locked me up. I get it. And after that, he was going to file it. Yep. All right now, let's go look for a murderer. Down here? At least how a murderer got out. There was a small light at the other end of the cell where it might be an exit. I wish it weren't so dull. Well, just follow me. I'll run an appearance. Keep talking, Julia. Then I'll know you're with me. Uh-huh. Well, I'll be out of here in a few minutes. Uh-huh. And then we'll clear up this murder, and I'll be in the clear about the club and the smuggling market. Uh-huh. Darling, at a time like this, I hate to be petty. But what's happened to your vocabulary? I just found it, Mark. Sorry. Uh-huh. Where's Julia? She's resting. Over there. What have you done to her? I smacked her and let her down very gently. Get out of my way. I've got to go see her. Mark, I didn't tell you what I smacked her with. Oh, I don't care. I've got to go. It's a great gadget. It shoots, too. Look, Sally, she's never been hit on the head before. Just give me a chance to see how she is. There's no time. Well, the two of you want to be buried in the same river. Can't you be reasonable? You have to be hard-boiled. Come on, Cookie. We're going to your apartment. Too much. Uh-oh, no, no, no, not with Julia lying there. Faithful to the end, huh? Well, turn around and walk toward that light or this will be the end, sweetheart. And no on-course. Sally, I'm doing the best I can. Stop pushing that gun into my back. What do you want from me, Mark? The thing's impatient and wants to get inside. Don't tell it to wait a minute. I'm nervous. My hands are trembling. You ought to see a doctor. Maybe you won't have to. I know a swell undertaker. Get in. All right, all right. But you should have let me take Julia out of that cellar. Stand in there. Hey, Joe. Is he here, too? No, I just took a deep breath. Is that you, Sally? Oh, sir, you got him. What were you doing in that bedroom? I was laying down. I got tired waiting for you. That's a comfortable bed, isn't it? The best. Say, what kind of a mattress you got on it? First, you tell me how you got in here. Oh, I got keys that fit every door. Now, any time you want me to do it. Shut up, Joe. OK, I don't care. Welcome to the Locust Club, where the food is good and the prices are nicest. Hey, he remembers my spirit. Yeah, sit down, Mark. We're going to make the extraction as painless as possible. But what extraction? Show it to him, Joe. I'll be glad to. Here, Mr. Mammy. By these present, do we here with? Say, this is a deed of the Locust Club. From you to me. Sign it. But sign it. Well, what's Joe here for? Protection? He makes a cross like a witness. Oh, that ain't fear, Sally. You know I can, right? Yeah, yeah. And you promised me a silent partnership in the whole business. Joe, do you have to talk so much? No, I don't have to talk at all. Stay that way. OK. Well, Manning, do you write your name on that deed or do I write you off as a bad risk? All right, I always had respect for a gun. Is this where I sign? Where it says, seller. That's where we'll have Julia. Just sign it. We'll laugh later. Wouldn't you know this would happen at a critical point in my life? What's the matter, Mark? Pen is dry. Well, I'll fill it. You don't have to. Give him your pen, Joe. OK. But I don't want too many people using it. The point gets twisted out. Joe. I had it right here in my coat pocket. Honestly. Dig down into the pocket. Look, I'm doing it. Oh, I know. It must have dropped out while I was laying down. I'll go look in the bag. What was that, Mark? Your last laugh? I was thinking of what Joe said before. Yeah? He said, honest, Sally. That just ain't true. Small talk. And at your age, shame on you. You shouldn't have looked around, Sally. Let me go. Let the gun go first. Oh, stop. You're hurting my. That's all, Sally. Now we'll just let Julia in. And we can have a party. Darling, Mr. Manning. Come in far away. I can't begin to tell you what a disappointment you are. I'm sorry. You know Sally. Yes, Mr. Barton's aide to cab. Good evening. So what? I won't be but a minute. Mr. Manning, I have bad news for you. Who hasn't? I looked up the law on that matter. I'm afraid your $2,500 is lost. Nice of you to come here to tell me. You gave me a merry chase, sir. I went to the Locust Club, but the place was deserted. Fortunately, I remembered your address, so well. How much do I owe you? Please, Mr. Manning, don't defile me with offers of money. But there is another matter. Sure. The matter of Mr. Barton and the Locust Club. What? Well, my boy, it seems that you are not the man who saved his life in Pittsburgh six years ago. He regrets the error deeply, and he's most anxious to compensate you. Therefore, he has asked me to buy the club back from you. You will give me a deed, and I will give you this. A check for $10,000. Certified. A magnificent sum. I believe you'll find it satisfactory. Yeah. But far away, don't you know that death cancels a deal? Death? Whose death are you talking about, Lou Barton? He was murdered. Oh, no. When? Well, why didn't someone tell me? I found a pen, Sally. It was under. Hey, what's that guy doing here? Waiting for the pen, Joe. Give it to him. Mr. Faraway is most anxious to write a get-me-letter to the police. Mr. Manning, did I hear you say police? Yeah. And if you listen carefully, I'll tell you why. Oh, my head. Now, sit still, darling. Keep that ice pack on. But it's messing up my hair. Now you will do get your brains back in shape. You want me to tell you how I nabbed Faraway, the third from the left? I don't want you to tell me anything, leaving me in that dusty old cellar, just because that woman had it gone. Don't you think that was a good reason, Angel? What about Faraway, the third from the left? He wanted to get his hands on the Lopez Club and the perfume racket they went with. And Barton gave him the opportunity when he deeded the club to you and then tried to get it back. Huh? Are you sure you've got a headache, Julia? How'd you know that Faraway was the murderer? He was surprised that Barton was dead. Not enough, darling. He tried to buy the club back for me. Still not enough? He gave me that certified check we left in Barton's office after he was killed. That does it. Help me up, dear. I think I would walk around for a while. Well, wouldn't you rather go to bed? I'll feel much better if I stick it. What was that? Oh, my Viva Moore. You brought that bottle home? I had it wrapped up in my hat. And my hat was on my lap, $100 an ounce. Oh, my head. And so closes tonight's story, A Deed in Deed. Steadman Coles wrote the radio script, Roger Bauer, produced and directed. Sidney Smith played the part of Mark Manning. Helen Shields was Julia Manning. Larry Haynes was heard as Lou Barton. Julie Stevens was Sally. Murray Forbes played Faraway. Phil Bauer was Joel. And Barry Tosman was Sheriff O'Malley. Oh, I beg your pardon. Hello. I hope I haven't kept you waiting. Yes, this is the crime club. I'm the librarian. Yes, come over a week from tonight. Good. We have the very intriguing story of laughing waves on the blue ocean, twinkling stars in night skies, and dank death in the sand dunes. It's called Death Swims at Midnight. In the meantime, well, in the meantime, there is a new crime club book available this week. And every week, it bookstores everywhere. Yes, it's available now. Fine. And we look for you next week. This is the world's largest network serving more than 400 radio stations, the mutual broadcasting system.