 Hey B. So this honestly all started because someone named Hennessy Sonny tweeted at me Can you put different colors of mascara on your eyes force yourself to cry or something and then blink onto a canvas and paint a Picture which I laughed a lot about but I don't think I can really do that But it did get me to thinking in a world full of waterproof Mascaras mascara is meant to stay on forever. Which ones are the absolute but worst? Which ones are gonna give you that I'm having a mental breakdown right now look in 10 seconds less I'm gonna put them to the test. I can't find any of this on YouTube I can only find people like testing waterproof mascara and stuff like that I want to know the worst of the worst so I didn't get every mascara there ever was but I have a selection from drugstore Brands trying to convince you to look like a butterfly in a cat and all other kinds of animals I don't understand to like higher end. We went to Sephora something better than sex Which ones are the worst in terms of making it look like you got dumped on the bachelor in fact Let's rate all of these out of that scale. I'm not actually gonna cry though So I do have eyedrops we all cry a mascara it happens Which ones gonna make you look just a little bit fucking wild don't cry cry Which ones are gonna be on your side when it's time to cry if you're crying, it's crying Let's get emotional. So let's start with some wet and wild mega plump beach Spanish angel you're trying to get me to think about dogs that need homes Kind of see why you pay a little more for mascara because that took like five minutes to put on and it's almost like I'm not wearing anything You ready? Oh I'm getting nothing. Yeah, there's literally no black coming in those tears. I'm gonna paint you a picture It's your 11th birthday all you asked for was a Snickers filled pinata you go off from not only do you find out It's milky ways in the pinata But some idiot kid comes from across the street and hits it for you and then all the candy goes everywhere Then the tiger comes out of nowhere just starts mauling people This is like I I got eliminated the first night of the bachelor Yeah, I didn't even get a callback because I didn't have an interesting backstory honestly when wild mega plump You failed me big time. No effect. No tears probably cuz it didn't put a lot of product on my eyes to be fair Yeah, this one is called L'Oreal voluminous feline noir This is me putting on my mascara with confidence knowing full well that later on in the middle school dance I will lock myself in the bathroom and fucking cry That's cuz it all goes down in the bathroom Julian I'm crying because I wasn't dancing cuz no one asked me to dance Julian really did that he asked a girl to a dance in middle school and then showed up in his PE clothes and she was wearing Like a nice dress. Let's see the water works. Oh We got some tears Think about Barney, he strips out of that uniform just to get me a black suit and tie and just cool rides While at home his Barney had an outfit. Nobody's there. It's alone Dry it up just like a bag of bones. It is alone. Honestly. Look it. It's gathering under my eye Feline noir is really coming through for my meltdown I mean, this is a good like I can wipe this off and go back to work and like be okay But like it's not the full meltdown that I'm looking for but It's not like the I'm Trisha Paytas crying on my kitchen floor. I'm trying to get there Dude, let's do this cover girl one. That's telling me that I should look like a peacock I'm ready to puff my chest up and cry my right ladies. This is a thick bottle Do I look like a peacock? It told me I would have peacock flair What did I spend my money for? It's the black tier beach we get is oh It's not like the perfect black tier, but that we get in somewhere with peacock flair This is the I got dumped right before we go on a trip in the bachelor everyone else gets to go to Jamaica But Jerry dumped me Week five. Yeah, it's giving you misery realness Mm-hmm by far the best drugstore mascara out of the only ones that I've tried to cry in and give you that full Crying effect. I still think we can do better. I still think we can do better, too I want to know about the higher end the ones we save our money for the ones that go and promise us Sky high lashes to the gods. I want to see what happens when you cry in them So let's start with the internet favorite. Do your show beach. I can't open this honestly I can't it's an exclusive show that I just cannot get into you got it Did you have to stand in a dark bathroom and go do or do or do or into a mirror and turn around three times? And then James trust pops out and goes hi sisters Easy Why because I need to see like immediate results and you have to do that thing like Honestly, you're not wrong mascara really isn't for Aries to be fair Come out with a product called mascaris where you just put it on once and it's just like There's a market for that. This comes in like a pudding cup and you dip your eye, okay? Do do do now, this is a story all about how my life The remix we didn't know we needed That's gonna go I was dancing to dollars You made it to the first cocktail party and you spilled cocktail all over you. Is that on my new dress? Yes. Oh Oh Okay, am I the person that got too drunk on the first night they removed you So like I'm crying a little bit out of like embarrassment, but like not I'm not like upset like I'm not certainly not in love with the bachelor. Oh My god That's what the fuck I'm talking about Okay. Yeah, that's that's what we're looking for here. I got drunk and now I'm sitting on the ground Con a tear. Yeah, this is this is the I'm sitting with your shoes in your hand in the bathroom One shoe in this hand one somehow is in my hair in the bedroom so far This is the best one to cry in let's try makeup forever Smoky extravagant. I hope this will give me the look of my dreams Which is watching the notebook alone. That's gonna take batteries You play it into the wall I hope it's extravagant Really mediocre Wow, that's like what a let down you can still answer the door Oh, it's coming down. No, it doesn't have the same thickness that Dior show had it's pretty good But it's like I need it to stay thick and black all the way down Everyone else is getting pizza nuggets for lunch, but I have to eat this lettuce sandwich my mom packed me Yeah with mayonnaise, but mom never learned about nutrition She just opens a head of lettuce cuts a hole in it and squirts This one is crying in the limo while you get dumped But like the audience totally saw it coming, but you didn't not bad I'm trying to get to the mascara that like gets all the way down to like your neck right here and is still black Let's try some Mark J. Boops Yeah, he's the cowboy now, what are you doing Julian Julian right now has taken it up on himself to put on Maybelline's colossal big shot And he will be crying for us in that Mark Jacobs velvet noir major volume mascara Which I can already tell is such a glib glop glop formula, which is What did you do? I didn't have a mirror. I'm excited for this one. Here we go Honestly, I'm so disappointed in Mark Jacobs First of all, it's like get in in the corner of my inside my eye, which is just downright gross But like I feel like because I feel like this one underperformed because the consistency of it was so waxy Which I thought was gonna really give me a great result, but it just does not it like holds itself together Fuck off Julie you bitch Look at Julian. Come on. I would give this one that I got eliminated on the two-on-one date It's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for full-blown fucking out of control Mine mine is I got kidnapped on the way to my bachelor audition chart lights camera lashes tears The waxier formulas they hold up to the water We need the ones that have like that lengthening shit in them and like lots of pigment Those are the ones that are gonna give us that fresh. I'm having a breakdown in the grocery store. There we go It's pretty light. It's very light This one is like I think I'm gonna get a pint of haggadahs and watch step up to the streets alone tonight Yeah, I'm not ready to watch she's all that but I will watch step up to the streets I needed to stay that color all the way down to my neck and like for them to meet here and for it to take off Myself Tanner bucks them lash mascara intensely volumize this separates defines and it's got a picture of some lady with her Boopies on the back. Hmm. It's it's creating a big effect around my eyes. Oh Oh This is like watching a half-hour montage of those dogs when their army parents come home I'm like I'm kind of pleased with this this is what I'm looking for look it That's what I wanted. Here we go beach. This is my husband left me for another man No, this is my husband went on a fateful drive during the snow storm died But then came back as a snowman. It's the premise of Jack Frost Oh Hell yeah, what about this is dramatic? Absolutely nothing. I'm just having a normal day at the office. Oh, it's connecting on my neck Taking off yourself tan. Yes, bitch. You know it is. It's perfect If you look into cry and make a real big scene like I'm talking a real big scene Make sure you cry and bucks them, you know, it's better than sex crying Now look, I know that these mascaras don't really keep in mind what their products gonna look like streaming down your face But like maybe y'all should consider it. Why do you think this is like food or something better than sex? I didn't say it was better than chicken and trees. That one's kind of good. Oh, that one's going It's going it's losing a little steam down here I mean, I still think that bucks them did a little better than this like it was a lot darker down here I'd say it's got a good splash a little splattery. I'd like it to be a little more full But like it's getting down here, which even Dior show didn't get down there Benefit a bad gal a bang. You know what else goes bang Are you ready for this bad gal to bang out some tears I don't know. They're too watery This is like the I'm crying for my friend on the bachelor I have a lot of feelings, but like they're not for me and they're kind of fake All right Well, I'd say for black mascara bucks them lash really did a number Honestly, if you're looking to go drugstore, I'd say cover girl peacock really did me pretty solid So now because I'm curious any bitch that's willing to put this on their eyes. You don't see them cry This one's broken Bitch give me a canvas. I'm ready to cry my beautiful tears. I've used an entire bottle of eyedrops It's like a watercolor of pain. Oh Oh, no, I have pink eye. I need to go to the doctor Okay, it's beautiful be you almost gave me a paper You get a paper cut You're going to the dog pound and right as you find a dog that you really like you see it just get taken to the back They don't really give you like colored tears, but they do just get color everywhere It's a different look for a different type of cry, you know cries an artist. You know who cries in gold Oprah look at that can't even tell it's on there a forest green lash Like the forest fairy that I am bring me my canvas. I have green on this side and golden that I let's go What? What's so funny? Oh, don't push it into my forehead. Let me be the artist Is it emotional or will they hang it in the MoMA someday? I think it is finished your eye is blue Your actual eyes blue. Oh Oh my god, your eyes literally blue your eyeball and You ever seen such elegance What what are you calling this and what was your inspiration cries in tears? Well, there you have it. I'm my eyes stained. There's nothing I can do You did the hard work That's right why spend hours sitting around crying in different mascaras to figure out which one's going to be the most dramatic When you can know out of the ones that I tried. I obviously didn't try every mascara ever I'm sure there's probably better ones out there. I don't know what it is about that formula man It just really gave me that boom pow I just wanted to do this as an experiment I did it for science. Where's my PhD? So now you can consider me the encyclopedia for mascara for people who cry. There you go I hope this has done you any sort of service whatsoever You can also just get some waterproof mascara if you didn't want any of these looks, but if you enjoy these looks I hope you found this helpful. It's stained my entire island. Maybe that's your normal Are you calling me a lizard person? Oh my god, hello, I just took that out of me That's your contact See you guys next week for which mascara ruins you contact lenses the fastest so far. This is the way