 All right, we're going to start the doors closing. It kind of feels like school, which is kind of like first day of school vibes for me. But thank you for coming. It means a whole lot. My name is Oscar. Well, my name is Joel. This is Oscar. My name's Oscar. Can you tell that I'm trying to read the room? Let's just pray. Let's pray. Lord, I thank you so much for your presence in this place. Lord, I thank you that you are here. You were here before any of us got here, God. Let me give ourselves over to you, Jesus. I ask that everything Oscar and I are about to share that you would filter it, God, that everything that's you would stick and that everything that's not you would fall to the ground, Lord. I pray that you'd be really obvious this morning, Jesus. I pray that we would encounter you as we're speaking, Jesus. I pray that you would give us ears to really hear what you're saying, God. God, I pray for all of our hearts this morning that would be open to you, Father. And I pray that you would make it really obvious. God, I thank you that every person that's here in this room and the people that are coming, that you are speaking to them already about yourself, Lord. I thank you, Jesus, that you're speaking to everyone in this room about who you are, Lord, and we love you, Holy Spirit. We love you, Holy Spirit. We thank you for your presence here, God. I need your help this morning, and we pray, amen. As I was saying, I'm Joel. This is Oscar. And I heard someone's name, Alexa, here. I have a question for you. Like, when you're in like the, hey, Alexa, can you? Does that ever happen so someone says your name and it responds? That's fascinating. I know that's so random, but when I heard your name, I was like, I've never met someone, and I've always wanted to meet someone named Alexa. And when you say, hey, Alexa, and they're like, hello. You're like, no, Alexa, right? Cool. OK, well, my name is Joel, again. We're from Dallas, Texas. We're from a church in Dallas called Upper Room. We have been there for a couple of years. Oscar will share his story here in a little bit. I get to go first, which is an honor. Radiant, thank you for having us. It means a whole lot. We love Kayla. We love Pastor Lee. You guys have been really, really good to us. I, we're sharing about worship. And we will get there. But we actually want to share something that Oscar and I have been processing for the past, like for yesterday and even individually, we've been processing. And so we will get to worship, but we want to share something that has to do with worship. But you'll understand. At Upper Room, we define worship as agreeing with who he is. So worship is agreeing with who he is. Yeah, who God is. So I want you to have that in your mind. Can you say that with me? Worship is agreeing with who he is. Great. I'm going to tell you a little bit of my backstory. I was born in Ventura, California. Does anyone here from California have any chance? Yes. Anyone from Dallas? Oh, you. OK, anyone? If you know anyone from McAllen or the Valley? Harlingen, Brownsville? No, of course not. OK, I was, but I was born in California. I was raised in a little city down South Texas called McAllen. And it's basically a border town to Mexico. I was there until I was 18. But when I was four years old, my parents got a divorce. So I was raised by my mom. It was just me and her. I'm an only child. And that's all I ever knew growing up. My mom encountered the Lord. Probably when I was like six, we lived in Mexico for like a year, Mexican. And so she encountered the Lord when I was like seven, she gives her life over. We moved to McAllen, Texas, like I was just telling you. And we started attending this little church. And in this little church, I started playing drums. And I was not good at all. But they allowed me to play drums. It was really beautiful. And I started learning about Jesus in that place. And maybe when I was eight years old, my mom started working a job. She was a single mother. So she was hustling, trying to feed me, trying to feed herself. I would go to one of the leaders of this church house and spend the night in the morning. They would take me to my school. Well, I didn't know this. This was bad. But when I was eight years old, this man in this house begins to sexually abuse me. No idea that that was wrong because you're eight years old. No one tells you, right? So I don't really tell anyone for a while. I tell my mom eventually a couple months later. My mom and I basically really don't process it. Don't know how to process it. No one tells you how to process this. And so if my mom gets mad at God, I begin to, I think I decide in that moment that never happened to me. I'm going to live my life now like that never happened to me. And so you grow up. And pain has a way. Pain and sin, I would call that sin, sin that was done to me, it's a seed. And whether you like it or not, whether I like it or not, it will grow. It will grow. And so I learned to hide really, really, really well. And I learned to pretend. And I learned to give the Christian answers. And even though I kind of was mad at God in a way, but I didn't know that I could be mad at God because I thought that it's just this narrative. I have to pretend around God and people that I'm OK. Teenage years come and puberty hits. And it's like my sexuality is twisted. I don't know what I am, what I like, because of what was done to me. It just messes you up. Fast forward in my sophomore year in high school, I go to a youth camp. It was sophomore year, I think, a youth camp. I was kind of mad at God, really mad at God, kind of confused about a lot of things, but pretty kind of numb. I would call it consistent, but it was actually, I was a numb. And again, hiding, I got really good at hiding. And anyway, I go to this youth camp. The Lord encounters me really, really, really, really deeply. And I was ruined from that moment on for anything else. And from then on, it's been a journey for me. It's been a journey of healing. It's been a journey of truth for me. And when I was 18, I moved to Dallas, Texas because I had encountered the Lord and I wanted to give my life completely to him. I always sucked at school, so I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, but I do love music. So I went to CFNI, Christful Nations Institute, and I was there for four years. After four years, I stay in Dallas for a couple months. I don't know what I'm doing with my life, but I feel like the Lord told me to stay. And then a couple months later, I get invited to a little church called Upper Room. And it was on top of a vet clinic. And it was like, the best way to tell you is, I was kind of like, by then, like even during CFNI, I met this man named Jonathan Lewis, who has walked with me even now and who's fathered me, who was like the first man really in my life to love me as a father, and I didn't even know what that was and that revolutionized my life. And so if you're a dad here, you have, I mean, I think you know, but the impact that you will have on your blood children, but on your spiritual children, it's, I can't even tell you how it's still, I'm still walking in that gift that the Lord has given me. Does that make sense? So anyway, I go to Upper Room, and it's the first place that I walk into where it was only about the presence of God, and that was it. It wasn't, and I mean literally, and it was that. And I needed that. I was looking for that. I was craving that. I was kind of a little jaded by going to places and me knowing what was gonna happen. And I was like, there's something about that that doesn't sit right with me. I, God is, God is God, and I don't wanna figure him out. So I've been in Upper Room for nine years now, and it's, I've met people there that the Lord has used to bring healing to my heart, all these things, right? And I say I'll let you say, because I want you to go to 1st John, if you have your Bibles. Five, 10, 1st John, 510. I need to get my Bible real quick. 1st John, verse five through 10. I'll read it when I hear the Bible stop moving. It's okay, 1st John. Okay. This is the message we have heard from him and announced to you that God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him and yet walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light and he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another. In the blood of Jesus, his son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. And if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us. I'm 32. In my 32 years of life, my journey with God up to now has been pretty much me constantly having to return to the light. Coming back to the light, I've known him, I've experienced extreme spiritual moments with him where I'm like, I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin because he's like in the room, you know? And yet I can still hide from him, right? You think of Adam and Eve in the garden, walking face to face with God, like literally walking face to face with God in the moment. And in the moment of their greatest need of rescue, they hide. And I don't know why we do that as human beings. Why do we hide? Maybe because we're scared of punishment. No one likes shame. But I can tell you from my experience that I hide, Joel hides, because I don't always fully believe what I'm singing, what I'm reading, or what I am listening to. Does that make sense? I can be in messages and I could be listening to a truth. This is truth. This is all, well I agree with it or not, this is truth, right? And I can hear that and I can know it's truth. And yet still hide. Does that make sense? Why? Why do we do that, right? And so I say all that to say that even everything that I just told you does not shock God. Everything that I just told you, the fact that I can hide, the fact that sometimes I don't always believe everything that I'm singing or that I hear or that I read, he knows it, right? It doesn't make it right. And doubt is still a sin. Doesn't, anything like, it does not make it right. But what I'm trying to get at is that he knows that it's already in there. He is aware that there is doubt in here. He is not uncomfortable by it. He is not shocked by it. And the power of realizing that he sees everything inside of me. And yet still comes close to me, tells me something about him. He knew, I'm 32 years old, he knew when I first gave my lifetime at 16 that at 30 I was gonna begin to ask him questions about why did stuff like this happen to my life? He knew that and yet he still showed me for 10 years his goodness. And he still did things in my life. He knew that. And the tricky thing about our human frailty is that we think that we can hide those things from God. And that we think that we can sing our way into truth when the only person who is truth is God. It's not the song. Does that make sense? It's the only, this, this in itself, it's the man who is in the pages that is truth. This in itself, like the actual book in itself is not what sets you free. It's the man in the book. It's the truth of who he is in this book. Does that make sense? And again, in my human frailty, I'm going to sing about, I love king of my heart. You are good, you're never gonna let me down. And there's times where I'm singing that and I feel this thing of Lord, but I actually kind of do feel like you have let me down in a certain situation, right? I think we've all felt that. Yes. If you all are truly honest, you know. But it doesn't make that bridge a lie, because it's truth, but there's something in my heart that he's like, hey, sing that bridge to me, but I also want you to ask me why is it that, tell me that you're disappointed in me Joel, because this won't be in relationship until you're actually honest with me. And the songs will only end up being songs if you're not actually talking to me about the things that these songs are triggering in your heart. Does that make sense? By the way, Oscar said this yesterday, because we were talking about this and we were both like so convicted, because we were like, he said, I'm actually preaching to myself tomorrow. And I'm telling you guys, I'm talking to myself right now, like for real because it, walking in the light will forever be a journey until he returns and we don't need no need for the sun and he is the sun. We will always want to hide, but he will always bring us back to the light if we let him. Does that make sense? Go to Psalms 139. God, it's so good that he knows our doubt, our deep frustrations, even our sin cycles, our pride, whatever, our darkness, right? I'm gonna call it darkness. He is aware of those things. Go to 139, verse seven. Seven through 14. Where can I go from your spirit or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in shield, behold, you are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, if I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, even there your hand will lead me and your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say surely the darkness will overwhelm me and the light around me will be night. Even the darkness is not dark to you and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to you. And I wanna actually wanna read it. In the Passion Translation 11 and 12, I love how it says it. Verse 11, it's impossible to disappear from you or to ask the darkness to hide me for your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night. Verse 12, there is no such thing as darkness with you. The night to you is as bright as the day. There's no difference between the two. And so what you and I consider extremely dark, that the enemy would agree that is very dark, Joel. God sees that, doesn't negate that it's dark, but sees through it and sees you. And again, the lie of hiding is telling you, you can actually hide that from God and go on with life and it be okay. And the sad thing is that there is probably, we can get through life and that scares me. We can get through life and God move in our life and healings happen and we sing the songs and we get the awards and our YouTube views go to millions and everyone is singing your song all over every church. And yet when he returns, I don't want him to say I never knew you, even though you sang to me really good songs that touched people. You never let me into that, into your heart, Joel. Right? I'm talking to myself. But again, what does light and darkness and hiding have to do with worship? It has everything to do with worship. It has everything to do with worship. You and I are worshiping a man who is real, who thinks, who has emotions, who likes things and doesn't like things, who has a taste for things. He's real, we're dealing with a real man and this man wants our hearts before he wants our songs. This God that we are living to be in the light with wants our hearts before he ever wants our really good songs. If I hide from God and yet still sing songs about him, am I just giving him lip service? And am I lying to myself? I think so. And also the beautiful thing about God is that he sees our, are trying. Lord, I don't want darkness in my heart so I'm going to hide because I don't want, I know that it's not right. I need to fix myself before I go to you, Lord. And he sees the intention behind it, you know? We want to be, who wants to be clean for God? Raise your hand. Everyone, right? That's the only way to actually worship him. And he sees that, but I think the, again, or maybe my pride is to think I can do it better than you can, Lord, so let me figure it out and then I can sing you the song. And this is not what I'm telling you guys. This is not an introspective, shame-based journey for you to actually look into yourself and find everything that's wrong with you because that's condemnation. But what I am saying for us is to enter into the reality of, it's Psalm 139 again, the last two verses, 23 and 24. Search me, oh God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts. And see if there'll be any hurtful way in me and lead me in the everlasting way. Yeah, search me, oh God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts, even though he knows my thoughts before they even, you see it even in this chapter, a couple of verses before, even before there's a word on my tongue, behold, oh Lord, you know what all verse four. But yet, why am I inviting him into that, right? Search me, oh God, and know my thoughts, the ones that you know before they hit my brain. Try me and know my anxious thoughts and see if there'll be any hurtful way in me and lead me into the everlasting way. Like we said before, worship is agreeing with who he is. But in order for me to actually agree with his nature, I have to know him. If I am agreeing with him based on just agreeing that I have to agree, he becomes a dictator. I don't have a choice. But if I agree with him because I know him, because I know that I may be going through a tough season, but I actually do know that he's never going to let me down, I can agree with that. But if I don't actually know him, if I don't actually experience him in my disappointment, that bridge to that, I could be anything. I'm just saying, I think that's just a really obvious song, that bridge will become mundane and it actually won't hit my heart anymore. But in order for me to agree with who he is, truly, I must get to know him and also let him get to know me. I just want to like re-emphasize like, you're like, how does this work? You know like, how does this and worship connect? You know what I mean? You're like hiding. But I want to put two things. Within our house, we, again, worship is agreeing to who God is. Intercession is agreeing to what he'll do and prayer is relationship. That's our definitions in our house. You know, and I think today in America and the worship culture, it's really easy. I think we got the formula down. You know what I mean? I think we got it. And if you see it all around like worship is being blasted all around YouTube, you know, I see it, we all see it. At the same time, I feel very, very convicted because I'm like, okay, Lord, it's good, it's sound, it's beautiful, it's your church expressing. But like, we're just kind of processing, and if we can turn our Bibles to John 11, just get it ready, and I'm gonna keep talking. And I was like, you know, at the same time, like, worship is agreeing to who God is. At the same time, you know, like, I remember growing up, I grew up in a, I grew up in an assembly to God church, you know, and you know, you're like, if you don't feel it, just declare it. You know, like, I remember growing up in that culture, you know, which, again, I'm not, I get it, you know what I mean? Like, I understand it, I'm gonna stand up, I don't sit down, I'm sorry guys, I'm over, I like to preach, you know, that makes sense. But at the same time, like, I can agree to God being the one who provides, but he has never provided for me. And I think for me, it kind of always falls short. You know what I mean? Because it starts with me and it starts with him. Does that make sense? I want, like, worship always starts with him. You know, I think about the verse, this is first love that God gave his life. So first love is that God gave. Does that make sense? This is first love that Christ gave his life. Because I think about, you know, in John 4, you know, this is a pen about spirit and truth. You know, like, I've been really on John 4 for the last six months for a very long time. I don't want to go too deep into it. But like, he's talking to this woman at the well. First of all, Jesus knew that she was gonna be there. First point, Jesus knew that she was gonna be there. And then Jesus asked her for a drink. You know, they go through that journey. And then Jesus starts to confront her a little bit. You know, it's like, so let's go to verse, John 4, yeah. Verse 16, Jesus says, go call your husband and come here. And this is, and then the woman says, I have no husband. And Jesus says, you are right. And saying this, I have no husband. For you've had five husbands and the one you're now with is not your husband. What you have said is true. Such a weird little passage. You know, I was like, okay. You know, but her response, you know, Jesus is seeing you right through her. Jesus is seeing you exactly right through her. Her response was a very, very religious response. Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. You know, it's like, you know, it's like, it's like, our fathers worship on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is a place where people want to worship. Jesus says, woman, believe me, the hour is coming. Neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the father. Verse 22, this is what I wanna point. You worship what you don't know. She used Samaritan, you know, Samaritans. I mean, there's conflict between Jews and Samaritans, but Samaritans, they knew the Torah. They knew about Jehovah. They knew about the Messiah, because later on she talked about the Messiah. But he's saying, you worship what you don't know. So for me, that says it's possible to worship God without knowing God. Does that make sense? It is possible for me to sing songs about his faithfulness, his truths that are real, and not truly know him. Let's go to John 11. John 11 is about two different responses. It's about Mary and Martha, and I feel so bad for Martha. She always gets a bad rap, you know? She's like, so Lazarus is dead. Verse 17, I'm just gonna read it. I'm gonna just process it out. Verse 17 says, now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus has been in the tomb for four days. Bethany was near Jerusalem about two miles off, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning to their brother. So Martha and Mary were Lazarus' sisters. So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. Martha said to Jesus, Lord, if you have been here, my brother would have not died. You know, it's true. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give to you, will give you. Jesus said to her, your brother will rise again. Martha said, I know that he will rise again in the resurrection of the last day. Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection in the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live. And everyone who lives and believes in me, shall never die. Do you believe this? She said to him, yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God who is coming into the world. So that's Martha's response. I want you to keep that in mind. Now let's look at Mary's response. Verse 28, when she had said this, she went to her sister, Mary, saying in private, the teacher is here and it's calling for you. And when she heard it, she rose quickly and went to him. Now, Jesus had not yet come into the village, but still in the place where Martha had met him. Let's go to verse 32. Now, when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. The exact same response as the dot word for word. When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come where there were also weeping, he was deeply moved in the spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, where have you laid him? So I want you to see two responses. Mary said the same thing as Martha. They say the exact same thing, but what actually moved the heart of Jesus? It was her weeping. It was her teeth, her authentic part. You know what I mean? I see Mary, she's like, you know, I believe that you are. You know, I feel like she's trying her best. You know, she's like saying the right things, but here's Mary saying, weeping, Lord, if you had been here, it's like my brother would not have died. And he said, and then the response that she gets from Jesus, like, where is he? You know, where is he? I'm gonna manifest myself. I'm not just gonna reveal myself, but I'm gonna manifest myself because I'm moved by the tears of this woman. It's like, so it wasn't even the words that they said, it was her tears. Both were praying to Jesus, but something was deeply touched in the heart of Jesus through weeping, through like an authentic cry. You know, it's like, Martha had it right. She said all the right things, you know, she said truth, but Mary was like, there's true authenticity in her heart because she knew him. You know, it's like, when you cry, when you ugly cry, it's like, I don't do it in front of everyone. You know, I don't. I only do it to those that I'm really intimately close with, you know? I think Mary knew Jesus intimately with her heart. And I think it's really funny because even I'm gonna fast forward to verse 2038, you know, 39, they're there, we don't know the story, but Jesus said, take the stone away. Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, Lord, by this time there will be odor for he has been dead for four days. And then Jesus says, did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God? So what I'm saying is like, Martha said the right things, but yet didn't truly believe. So it's like, for me as someone that loves worship, someone that loves worship, and again, I'm preaching to myself. Like, I really wanna emphasize that. It's like, how many times have I just said or sang or played the right things and not have done something that truly cost me something? You know, truly cost something, you know, places of like, like I think all of us, you know, we all love the Lord. It's like, we all know God has saved you. God has saved us from something. You know, I know the things that I was once bound with, but now I'm free because of what Jesus has done. And when I talk about him being savior, there's way an anointing power because I've experienced that because he birthed that in me. I wanna go, I wanna talk about faith, I wanna talk about worship because faith is really, really important. You know, because you're like, what about faith? You know, you hear like Hebrews 11, you know, Hebrews 11 says, now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. You're like, okay. You're like, is that contradicting to what we're saying? You know, it's like the things hoped for, the things not seen, the things that we haven't stepped into. But in Romans 10, 17, and this is with the passion translation, I want you to write this down. I'm giving you so much Bible, which I, it says in the passion translation says, faith then is birth in the heart that responds to God's anointing utterance of the anointed one. That's what the passion translation says. The other translation say faith is comes from hearing, hearing the word. But I love this one because like faith is not a muscle that strive. Faith is not this thing of like, God, I'm gonna believe, but faith actually comes as birth from God. Faith is birth from a heart that responds to God, to God and me. You know, that makes sense. Faith is birth in a heart that responds to God's anointed utterance of the anointed one. So when God speaks about himself, that's what faith is birth. That makes sense. Faith in who he is. Faith in his attributes. You know, God's always revealing himself. Whenever, in Exodus 33, when Moses was in the mountain and he says, show me your glory. The Lord's like, it's like I'll show you my goodness and I will proclaim my name. So worship and name are always tied together, but it's in a place of intimacy with the Lord. It's in a place of intimacy. And then when he birthed that in you, because he's an author and perfecter of faith, I am not the author and perfecter of faith. Joel's not the author perfecter of faith. Our pastors are not the author and perfecter of faith. Jesus is the author, so he has a pen and perfecter. He's not completed a faith. He has a pen, our hearts are the pages. He writes his name on our hearts. I wanna go to Genesis 22 and this is where I kinda wanna land. Like worship, worship, worship. You know, it's like, there's just so much to it. It's a life, it's much more than like, you know, 20, 30, 50 minutes of worship on a Sunday. There's just, it's like, it's something deep. Go for it. I also, what I love about what you're sharing is that this also has like an emissive, like a huge, is what I'm trying to say, impact on songwriting. If you're a songwriter because it makes, it makes you not just want to write truth but to experience it before you write it. And it carries a different weight in your songwriting because like you, I love what you said it, there is, you can write a good worship song in like five minutes and it kind of all sounds like what you've heard already and there's nothing wrong with saying the same words but you can say the same words and it hits different because you've actually been through the pit and he rescued you from the pit. And also I do hear, there's people that, that you know, we talk about this stuff and they come up to me or come up to us and they're like, you know, I don't have a crazy testimony so I sometimes don't feel like God has done anything. And one of the greatest testimonies is that God would keep you. And singing from that place of his faithfulness, my gosh, like there's something, there is a, like often the Lord is like a diamond multifaceted and singing that part of him is beautiful as well as singing that he rescued you from the pit. And so all that to say, I just wanted to agree with you bro because as a songwriter, if you're like an artist, whatever, if you hope, if you choose to live in the truth, which is him and right from that place, the things that come out of you are really beautiful and not only, for the most part, I write for myself. I'm writing because I'm on the piano and I'm like processing things and things come out. There's times where we write, you know, like for our church and things like that. But what's beautiful is that then you give language to people that didn't know that they could say that to God. And that is beautiful. Whenever you get to hand something that you may have like worked for and they just get the fruit of it, it's beautiful. And so I love, I just love what you're saying because it affects everything. Because with worship, it's like, it's a process. You know what I mean? Like I feel like God, like if you look at the kings, you know, like the reason why I'm like, why was Saul such a bad king? You know, like everyone's like Saul is because there was no process that he went through. He would just have known the king. David had a process, we just heard from Corey, 20 years of persecution, 20 years of Saul didn't. And he was little in his own eyes, even though he was tall, beautiful, handsome, he was probably well equipped to be a king. But because he didn't go through the process with God. And ultimately I'm like, that's a process of sanctification. You know, God is, we are saved and we're continually being saved until the day of the Lord. It's like he, it's like we as priests, it's like we, as we're being, as the Lord's pruning us, you know, like he has shears. If you're in a good season or in a bad season, he has, he's gonna prune you, you know, like, yeah, so scissors ready to cut you so you can create more fruit. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's like, it's a process of that. So God can actually establish his name in our hearts where it's true, that it can actually, it's like, it's like the, it's solid foundation. It's not shaky. You know, it's I'm not gonna be moved left and right because I know that I know that he is God. So, and that's what I want to talk about Genesis 22. It's like, so really long story short, you know, like God, you know, God gives Abraham a gift, his son, you know, he's, he went through a huge process. You know, he filled many times and then here he is and God's like, hey, I want you to give this son up to me. You know, I mean, I have a daughter. I'm like, that would be very, very difficult, you know, as a father. So verse, verse four, let's just read through it. On the third day, Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw a place from afar that Abraham said to the young man, stay here at the donkey. I and the boy will go over there and worship and come again to you. And Abraham took the wood and the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac's son. And he took his hand, the fire and the knife. So they went both of them together. And Isaac said to his father, Abraham, my father, he said, here I am, my son. He said, behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering? Abraham said, God will provide for himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son. So they went both together, both of them together. So I'm like, man, I mean, if, in a sense, he kind of lied to his son, like, hey, God will provide for the lamb. It's like, you can tell that he's kind of dancing around it and not being straightforward. I mean, who would, you know? I can imagine Isaac like, like what? Where are we going right now? It's funny, because the Bible is so like face value to the point, I'm like, there's probably more nuances in it, you know? Verse nine, when they came to the place of which God had told them, Abraham built the altar there and laid the wood in order and bound Isaac, his son, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. Then Abraham reached out his hand and took the knife to slaughter his son, but the angel of the Lord called him from heaven and said, Abraham, Abraham. And he said, here I am. Verse 12, he said, do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him. For now, I know that you fear God. Seeing that you have not withheld your son, you're only son from me. Verse 13, and Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked and behold, behind him was a ram caught in the thicket of his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it as a burnt offering instead of his son. Verse 14, this is where I want to camp. So Abraham called the name of the place the Lord will provide Jehovah Jireh as it is set to this day on this mount of the Lord, the Lord it shall be provided. So he went through a journey, a really, really deep journey for ultimately the Lord to establish a memorial and literally a memorial saying Jehovah Jireh. This is the place where God provided. For us, that's true worship. He went on a journey and God with his pen authored faith in Abraham. And forevermore, I'm pretty sure he's like, God is my provider. And I just feel for today for worship, we're talking about spirit and truth worship. I believe that God wants to create memorials in our hearts of himself and his name. And he wants to reveal himself today to us that when things are a little shaky, we're like, God is my provider. God is my healer and we sing it and there's substance and there's breakthrough and there's fruit and there's true fruit from heaven when we sing it. And I just really feel that today. It's like, I don't want my words to fall short. I wanna truly, truly know that God is. Cause forevermore, it's like in Revelation, the creatures have eyes within and without. Forevermore, we're holding the Lord to see him rightly and for him to establish his name in our hearts, to be delivered from doubt, but the only way we can do this by being truly honest and not hiding from the Lord. Prayer is relationship. That's why I wanna say prayer is relationship. It's like me and my wife, I'm really honest with her. I'm not just like, you know, yeah, you know, like, I'm not surface level. And it's like, we are not surface level to the Lord. It's like, he cares, he cares about you. And he already knows it, but he's like, when you bring it to him, he's like, I can actually work with that. I can actually truly, truly reveal myself to you. And then from that process is like, I think about Moses, you know, whenever they were delivered from Egypt, he wrote the song of Moses. In Revelation, in heaven, they're singing the song of Moses. A lot of times we hear about songs, you know, catch the song from heaven, but I believe there's songs that we write with our history and journeys from God that we will sing in heaven. That people, I think about the song of Moses, you see it. It's like, that was our journey. I mean, they saw so many things. And to this day, you know, when John saw the pictures, like they're singing the song of Moses. And it's like, I believe that today where we have the opportunity to write songs that are true, that are eternal. You know, I think about my marriage. It's not eternal. I think about my, you know, I think about things in this world, they're not eternal, but your songs are. Your true songs of history and things with the Lord is eternal. I want you to take out your phone or a, if you have a journal, whatever it is that you have. Cause I actually, I actually want us to, in a sense, build a memorial for God right now in this place. And so when you have your phone or when you have a notepad, I want you to close your eyes and I'm just gonna pray and then I want you to write, who is God revealing himself as today in your life? Who is he today? Who has he been trying to tell you that he is today? Lord, I pray that any noise that we might be carrying in our heads, Jesus, even the lie that says that we can't hear you, Father, I thank you that that bows to you right now, Lord. And I thank you that every person in this place can hear you. You created them to hear your voice. You fashioned them in their mother's wombs to respond to your voice, to be, to be pooled by your voice. And so, Father, I pray, I know that there's a lot of memorials here that are being built right now. I just see the Lord actually, even during this time, he actually has been building, not us, he's been building a memorial to convey his name to you, to remind you who he is. And so, Father, would you open up our ears even more? Who are you telling us that you are? Individually, Father, that when we would leave this room, that we would leave with a memorial, that God met me and God told me that he was this. Maybe it's my peace, faithful, the light, healer. I don't know what it could be, Lord, but I pray that it would be so obvious. Yeah, Lord, I pray that you even feel like, Lord, wherever there's lack, I pray that you would provide in this place, Lord, Lord, that you would reveal yourself truly, Lord. Truly, Lord, let it not just be something that we know or a routine that we go about, Lord, but let it be true to our hearts, Lord. Lord, I just ask for just the manifestation of your presence, Lord, to fall upon these worship leaders, these singers, these musicians, Lord. And I pray that spirit and truth worship would rise, Lord, of true, Lord. You just love worship. I just ask that you would just take out your pen in the season in them and that you would write your name, that you're writing exactly what they need, the daily bread, you're continually revealing yourself, that you have daily bread for us, Lord. I just ask that we receive, Lord, we receive your daily bread today. Can we say that, Lord, we receive your daily bread? Today, whatever you have for us, however you wanna reveal yourself today as, Lord, we are open and, Lord, I pray that you will transform us into the image of your Son. And that's, yeah, you're sanctified daily into it, Lord, in Jesus' name. Take time today. Throughout the day, maybe He'll give you one word or a sentence, but I encourage you to write it and make it a memorial in your life. We have five minutes. If you guys have any questions, we would love to hopefully answer, but if not, we can go eat lunch. So, is there any questions? You can raise your hand. We got one. I have a journal. So maybe one day. Yeah, that's a very real, great question. This is, you're gonna kind of laugh at this, but there is a lot of power with starting with Thanksgiving. Like, and what I mean by that is really deciding in my heart, Lord, I don't have, I don't have anything to bring you but myself. And actually in those places are some of my favorite places because the Lord moves beyond our abilities, which is the whole point, right? We just get in the way. But in those times, starting with Thanksgiving and actually thanking Him and letting it hit your heart will bring out a fruit that He's already been cultivating because you know Him. And so honestly, that's something extremely practical for me to where I'll pick like, you and you alone. I know it's funny, but like, for always being good, thank you. For mercies that are new, thank you. For mercies that are new, thank you. Lord, thank you for your mercies. And it just, it's already kind of, even hitting my heart already. So that, starting with that, because then it'll open up your heart for Him to author faith again. So I would say starting with Thanksgiving is huge. Something that'll just make your heart open. Thanksgiving is just remembering upon the times the Lord has and brings your heart to the Lord. That's really what it is, like it brings your true heart to the Lord where you can worship. I just had a question. Am I crazy? No, yes? We got two more. What's up, bro? Thank you. Love you. Thank you for that. Question in the back? Ooh, I like your voice. Let's go. Hablas español? Hablas español? Hablas español? Ooh, I love it. I can hear it. I felt it. I was like, whoop. Okay, what's up? Tell me. I was a young leader. Yeah. I'm just so humble. No, I love that question. I really like that question. Cause it's like, I would say, man, like I am very acquainted with how weak I am. And if y'all would read my journal, you would probably think I'm not a Christian. And I'm serious because I need God. I need God to need God. Like I need God to need God. And even in my best day, I need God. But I have people in my life that are older than me that can tell me, Joel, you're making this about yourself. Or Joel, you're, or Joel, you actually need to stand up and own that. Vice versa, you know? Cause humility doesn't just mean like kind of not talking. Sometimes humility means grabbing the microphone and singing. And that's even the same as terrifying, to be honest, sometimes. But I would say that, I love that question. It's having people, like a guard, I heard someone say this, my guard is people. Like, I don't have walls. It's people that are actually helping me guard the purity. You know, that's why like, even what I shared about hiding, I have people in my life that I run to when I mess up, when I do things, when I say things that I shouldn't. And it's like, I have people that I'm like, yo, I need help. And they're there for me. Cause you can't do it alone. So I would say that. Yeah. One more question. Tell me your question. Tell us. The cool thing about us is like we, we invite our kids to worship with us. Which a lot of times you're like, I was like, what's the point? You know, like, it can be so distracting. Distracting or like, you see some of them running around. Like an intimate moment. And then you see someone with an iPad, blasting, you know, I'm like, okay. But then like, I think about the, our pastor, Michael Miller, like I've seen, I've been up here for 10 years and I've seen their kids grow up, you know, and I mean, and I was like, I don't know, like, is it true, you know? Like, what's the true fruit? I like, I like measurables. Does it really work, you know? Then like, so currently our pastors are just sabbatical because they've been going so, like they've been running for the last 10 years. It's a really good thing. First of all, I don't want to put anything weird. It's a really good thing. Like rest is good. You know, when you rest, I'm not gonna preach. You realize, you realize, and to answer your question is like, if like, when humility is like, when you actually let it, let it go and rest, it's like, it's actually God, you know? So they're in that place of sabbatical and that, and then, but their kids are like, hey, I want to go to church. So I saw them on Sunday night. I was like, oh, they're at church. I was like, because it's Christ perfecting in them. I think just letting them be around presence of God and growing up in it. And it's like, in those moments, kids don't really know what Jehovah Jire means, but they can sense the presence of God. I do really, really believe. And I will say also to add to that, I think kids look at parents. And so I think I've seen, that's a really good example. I've seen our pastors respond in painful situations and their kids are watching. And that is almost like a second hand revelation. But I also know that, and I feel like you carry that same heart, treating children as equals. They hear the voice of God. And often more, it's a lot more clear because they're not religious like me. I can only talk about me. Religious like me, you know? I don't, I'm complicated. They're not. And so there was one service where this little girl named Justice, we were like, it was like alter call and she got on the microphone, like our pastor gave her the microphone and she started thinking about his return. And then it went on for like another hour and people went crazy. He was, she was leading the church. Oh yeah. So it's like, this little girl was under the influence of God and like completely led our service and it was crazy and offensive and holy, you know? And so, so yeah. Let's have them be around the prince of God, you know? And then from there, they're like, oh, I felt something or like, and then you, as a parent, you start to like, what did you feel? You know, how did it go? And then you start to give him some biblical truth. Like, hey, that's the Holy Spirit. It's in here. And they're like, oh wow, I love the Holy Spirit, you know? You know, they're just so pure. I love kids. I love kids. We love you guys. Thank you for coming for real. Thank you. Love you. Thank you. Thank you.