 Recently I discovered a really exciting story. Did you know that we actually have a shrine in India where you can go to wash away the sin of adultery? So if you're having an affair with somebody, which is supposed to be sinful, you know, in other just as it's not a good thing, in society it's not a good thing. But there is actually a place where you can go to wash away that sin. I discovered the story very recently and I'd like to share this with you. Because whenever I go out and do a talk, one of the questions I get asked all the time is well, what about monogamy? How do you deal with monogamy? According to anthropologists, human beings weren't made to be monogamous. So what does the Kamasutra say about monogamy? And my answer is generally that yes, it is humanly impossible to never be attracted to somebody else in your life. It's bound to happen. But it depends on what you do with this attraction. What do you actually do? After all, we live in society and we have to abide by the rules of society. We choose to live in this society and so you have to abide by the rules of this society. Anyway, as I said, I came across this story which I'd like to share with you. Now this is a time when Kamdev, the god of love and desire, actually by mistake pierces himself with his own arrows and falls in love with somebody else's wife. So on the banks of this beautiful, fresh lake is a hermitage. And in that hermitage live a very cranky old sage called Haritha and his very beautiful young wife called Poonkala. And one day Poonkala is bathing in the lake when just by chance, Kamdev happens to come by and he looks at her, he sees her and he falls desperately in love with her. And so he sits down on the banks of the lake in a way that he's directly in her vision so that she can see him directly and he starts to sigh really loudly and repeatedly till he gets her attention. Now she sees this young man sitting over there and well, she decides to come out and investigate what is going on because he's an extraordinarily handsome young man after all. So she steps out. Now as it is, Kamdev had fallen in love with this beautiful woman but you can imagine how she must have looked as she steps out of this lake. She's there with her hair clinging to her. It's wet. She's wearing nothing but this little piece of fine muslin which is also clinging to her body because it's wet. The drops of water are trembling in her hair and on her body. Her skin is glowing from the cool, fresh water of the lake. She looks like a freshly blossoming lotus. She looks like a shining pink jewel on this ocean of blue. She's very, very perfect. She's absolutely gorgeous. Kamdev is completely besotted and he goes insane with love looking at her. And so he starts trying to persuade her to sleep with him. Now Pulkala is very innocent. She's been brought up in this hermitage with all these ascetics. She's never really had anybody flirt with her. So she doesn't know quite what to deal with it and she also, she doesn't know quite how to deal with it. And she's also a little bit conscious of the fact that she's not really doing something good, that she's doing the wrong thing by allowing this man to flirt with her. But she's also rather delighted because he's well saying delightful things and it's lovely to hear yourself being praised after all. And so stuck in this dilemma between guilt and delight, she stands where she is. She doesn't actually respond to him. She doesn't say anything to him. She stands where she is with her head bowed, her eyes lowered, a little smile on her lips, not saying anything but not telling him to go away either. Kamdev in the meantime is saying things like, you're so beautiful, we were meant to be together. And then he makes it even harder. He says, you know what? I am irresistible. The arrows that I fire at people, the arrows of love are irresistible. Even the gods cannot resist them. Brahma wasn't able to resist them, not Vishnu, not even Shiva was able to resist my arrows. You're a mere mortal. You're never going to be able to resist me. I think that we should just be together. Now, in the midst of all this, suddenly her husband turns up, Haritha turns up. And he is absolutely furious. There is his wife standing half naked, head bowed with a smile on her face, listening, encouraging the stranger to say all sorts of things to her. And he's so angry that he decides to put a curse on both of them. He decides that she, because she just stood over there saying nothing like a stone, that he will turn her into a stone. And for Kamdev, he decides that he's going to turn him into a leper. Now, you probably remember another story where a woman is turned into a stone, Ahalya. This story I find differs quite vividly in certain aspects from that one. Because if you remember in that story, Indra after seducing Ahalya, the moment the old husband turns up, Indra makes a run for it. I mean, he doesn't even turn around to see what's happened to this woman that he's just slept with, the one that he's just seduced. He just literally, like a cat, jumps out the window to save his own skin. Kamdev, on the other hand, decides to stay on and plead porn color's case with her husband. So he tells the husband, he says, you know, she didn't do anything wrong. You must punish her. She hasn't responded in any way. It's all my fault. Then he goes on to say, he says, you know, my arrows are irresistible, even to the gods, even they can't resist me. How do you expect this poor little woman to be able to resist me? But Haritha, the husband, is furious. He's not listening to anything. He's determined to put a curse on her. And Kamdev doesn't just give up. He carries on. He says to him, he says, you know what, if you actually let her go because she hasn't really sinned. So if you let her go, if you forgive her, then this is not a sin that will attach to you in your next life. So you should consider that, but Haritha is still not particularly convinced or impressed. Kamdev still doesn't give up. He says to him, he says, you know, the Dharam Shastras say that there are three types of sin. There's the sin in the mind, where you just think of something, but you don't do anything about it. There's the sin of the words, where you actually say something bad. And there is the sin of action, where you do something bad. And there are different ways of atoning for each sin. It's actually prescribed in Adharam Shastras. And the one in the mind is supposed to be the least of the sins. It's, you can actually atone for it simply by saying a few prayers. So why are you being so harsh on this woman? But Haritha, I think is on a part-trip by now. And he decides that he is going to punish her. And he says to Kamdev, he says, don't talk to me about this. Every sin, everything begins in the mind. And so if she has chosen to think it, that means that she has sinned. And I will turn her into a stone. And he doesn't just turn her into a stone. What's really sad is that she becomes what is known as the Khandashil, which is the broken stone, because she's standing over there with her head bowed that when she turns into a stone, she actually looks like a broken rock. So he is going out of his way to make sure that he punishes her as harshly as he possibly can, because his ego is so badly hurt. But the story still continues to get more interesting, because Kamdev is turned into a leper. And when he's turned into this leper, when he, when he develops this illness, he cannot continue his job anymore. The world now is starting to die. Love dies. Love cannot be taken forward anymore, because Kamdev can't do his work. And the world, because of the lack of love, is starting to die. And the gods are starting to get really nervous. And the gods all get together and they try and figure out how to make Kamdev better. But none of them can actually remove their, his curse. Even when they all get together, their joint powers cannot remove his curse. So finally, Brahma comes up with an idea. He says to Kamdev, he says, go back to Purnkalla, go back to Khandashila, the woman who you wronged and seek her forgiveness. And see if she will forgive you, you will become better. And so Kamdev goes back to Purnkalla. And it's, interestingly, this woman who as a woman was vulnerable and weak, and she couldn't stand up for herself because of the way that society's norms are made. She was the weaker of the two. But as soon as she turns into a rock and she goes back to the earth, her energy mingles with that of Mother Earth. And suddenly she has a new power. And she has the power to forgive Kamdev so that he becomes well again. From then on, Khandashila, or Purnkalla as the broken stone, has chosen to stay as the broken stone. She's not waiting for somebody to come and remove the curse and become all right. She's chosen to stay as the broken stone. But she has the power to redeem you of your sin of adultery. Because human beings are, after all, human beings. Yes, it is not the right thing if you're already married to have an affair with somebody else. No, that is not right. But at the end of the day, it's not that drastic a sin either that you have to be punished with this much vengeance, this much cruelty. And so the idea is that human beings are human beings. Mistakes get made. And yes, you can seek and get forgiveness even for this. And so we actually have a shrine where you can go and beg for forgiveness for the sin of adultery and be forgiven for it. And what's really interesting is that in the Kamasutra, it actually says, it advises both men and women at different places, that if the other one is unfaithful to you, do not treat her or him too harshly. Understand that it is a human tendency and it can happen to anybody. I think it's a thought worth taking forward.