 Okay, hold on. I'm gonna pause. I'm muted alert. So I can kind of just like talk uninterrupted for a second So so a lot of you guys kind of already know, I mean I'd be surprised if you didn't it's literally all over the internet. We had a bad day yesterday recful. He He passed away yesterday whether you watched him or didn't watch him or whatever recful had a really big impact on Streaming as a whole, you know for those of us in Austin people knew him I didn't know him quite as long as some of these other guys right because I'm kind of new on twitch relative to a lot A lot of these other guys. It's something that definitely is I think for everybody involved that's pretty jarring Everybody knows about recful struggles And the things that he dealt with in in the last few years because he was very very open about it He talked about a lot of stuff that uh, most people would not want to share with Their closest friends let alone Basically the entire world Rackville made a really big impact on a lot of people's lives Especially a lot of people who maybe maybe shared some of the same struggles that he had because they had someone that they can look to look up to Um I mean Recful is a big part of dr. K and healthy gamer launching right? I mean that kind of kind of taken off So it's it's his impact on on twitch and on people is Honestly, it's immeasurable. I guess I'll go ahead and tell you guys kind of what happened yesterday Um, I don't I don't want to say everything because I think some things just kind of aren't my place to talk about and I haven't really been paying attention to Everybody else's streams so much. So I don't know what all has been talked about Uh, but I'll just kind of talk about like kind of what happened From my perspective yesterday just kind of seeing the series of events because I think I think whenever it happened Most people were asleep. Most people that we knew were asleep. I basically yesterday my my day yesterday was I woke up I saw I saw the first tweet Uh, he tweeted about Becca. I'm looking through like the replies and stuff. I don't think anything that happened yesterday Was like a direct cause of anything happening. I don't know This is something that has been like brewing over and building up over years and years and years I saw that then I saw the next tweet where he says like I kind of feel bad for people who have to Deal with my stuff and sometimes people aren't in control of their actions or they feel this way Now when I saw that tweet, I thought that was maybe like him I thought it was about the previous tweet. I thought he was tweeting about the tweet But then that's when I saw blues tweets. I was like, wait, what the hell is this and just immediately Unfortunately, like that that's kind of like when I saw blues tweets that was kind of like the assumption I think a lot of people had that assumption again looking at replies So that's whenever like I called niz and I tried calling miz. He called me back Uh, and like I mean we have like a streamer discord and everybody's kind of like wait What's going on everybody's trying to like get a hold of everybody And that's kind of when when we we heard about what happened That's that's basically how like how about my morning went right and then the whole day it was just kind of like us talking and Uh, I was like on the phone talking to people and but yeah last night we went over to miz's house And it was like Barry was there with uh with midge and uh murk came over and we we talked to murk and Uh, just that that whole crew so um Yeah, I mean Just kind of talking about the situation But this is something that uh, I mean I had hung out with wreckful in a few months because of the the corona stuff and last Time I talked to him was in dms Yeah, maybe maybe like a month or two ago. I don't remember how long it was one thing that I noticed is and this is I'll talk about this part and then I kind of want to talk about this And then kind of let's move on to the rest of stream whatever Uh, I'm sure it'll come up a little bit, but I kind of just want to talk about stuff and then move on Um wreckful has been around for a long time or he had he had been around for a long time and uh I I keep seeing things whether it was Stuff with mitch stuff with with I talked to mitch a little bit last night Stuff with train stuff with all these different people right like people like develop like beefs and they Go from good to bad to neutral to good to all kinds of stuff And it kind of sucks because especially talking to mitch last night like All all the like all the beefs and all the arguments and whatever that people might have like all the disagreement Like it doesn't just seem inconsequential It kind of is because at the end of the day now, it's like okay like you don't know when You are not going to get a chance to to squash the beef anymore You know and just kind of seeing seeing that and you see so much fighting and bickering and back and forth about So many things in the world between your friends between whoever and When it really comes down to it It's not worth it. The last time wreckful and I hung out. It was with destiny and and raj and uh in austin Mr. Shill a lot of you guys know my deal with um Kind of some of the stuff that I was I was struggling with back in In November time and this and that and I just really wasn't happy with the state of my channel and I wasn't happy with the state of classic wow and and uh, I I felt like I I felt like I was getting like attacked everywhere. I looked I felt like I was I was Playing I don't want to get too much into my stuff there, but I didn't feel good I was talking to wreckful about it wreckful pointed out to me that really uh That kind of stuck with me and I'm still working on I dwell way too much And I think this is something that a lot of people struggle with is is dwelling whenever things go bad Just kind of being stuck on it and not being able to move on I know that this is something that has certainly been the case for me And if you've been watching my classic streams for the last 10 months, you kind of know what I went through there And that's just how it relates to me, right? I got to figure it out and I got to move on wreckful Both as a friend And as a streamer he really Helped a lot of other people Despite his own struggles and I think a lot of that had to do with His openness, right? Like a lot of people tell tell me That they feel like my streams are very open and honest and and I kind of you know, like I ham it up Sure, sometimes not as much as I used to I feel like wreckful is it was just like a whole nother level, right? Like Any any problems he had any anything like He puts everything out there, right which in turn makes him very vulnerable Um in a lot of ways, right and then you see this whenever you you go on different like Uh subreddits or and it's placed on the internet and then you see people like talking about Talking poorly about someone it's like look There's a lot of people who struggle with a lot of this stuff and it helps a lot of people because it's like, okay Maybe if I'm struggling with this thing and I see this guy who I look up to and this guy is Arguably the best wow arena player ever, you know, that's a guy that I look up to and then He's struggling with the same thing I'm struggling like that helps a lot of people, right? Like somebody's in the chat watching whatever. I don't want to stick on this too long Um, I wanted to talk a little bit I think I think some people expect me to say something like like I wasn't friends with wreckful for like super long There's other guys who I mean, I'm hurting for some of these other guys who've known wreckful for years and years and years Whether or not that you you watched him This guy made a massive impact on the lives of literally thousands of people Either directly or indirectly by making an impact on you as a viewer Or maybe making an impact on a streamer that you watch and then indirectly making an impact on you see what I'm saying or Like I said the stuff with dr. K and healthy gamer and and he kind of gave dr. K a platform and dr K is helping thousands of people like there's people saying like, okay Well, you know something should have been done or whatever that this isn't something that Anything that was done yesterday or last week or this isn't anything that that I think anybody could have done in you know immediately I don't I don't think it could have done anything This is something that like has been brewing for years and years And something that wreckful has been struggling with for a really long time And I and I do think it's kind of unfair, especially the people who are closer to him than I was I don't think it's fair to them to say that like, you know, there's something else they could have done or anything like that Like I mean that's like a heartbreaking feeling right and there's there's people who might feel that way naturally But it's it's just not fair to to say that because people don't know they have no idea How much that you know, you know other people Have been trying to help as much as they can. I saw some stuff about that and I just don't think I don't think it's fair to those guys I really don't don't forget all the good times and all the smiles That wreckful shared with with Literally thousands of people and the positive impact he made on so many lives Despite his own struggles and even though he struggled himself I think his openness and his willingness to share that with The world like his pain It was other people's healing In a really really weird way because it it made people relatable it made people feel like they weren't alone I I think the feeling of loneliness is one of the worst feelings that you could possibly have I think wreckful helped a lot of people with that. Yeah, aoe feeling. Yeah That's one thing that I think people should learn is that they're not alone There's gonna be someone out there, right? There's gonna be people out there that that want to accept you and Want to help and are gonna want to be your friends. You can start in discord You can start and get involved in a stream community. It doesn't have to be mine right Get get started in the stream community play game There's a reason why so many of us. I mean so so many people like a lot of people wow stuck on this game for years and years Wow is a great game. This is an amazing game But it's not about the game that that makes it so good the reason why people keep playing wow hardly has to do with just the game A lot of it has to do with the people and getting involved in the communities and the friends that they make in that game I remember one of I quit wow hard quit. Wow Like at the beginning of wrath and it was because I didn't have anyone to play with I felt like all my friends had quit You know I met some people online when I had no one around me It was never suicidal to your press, but I felt alone and they helped me day to day just with the small interactions We had yeah, exactly. If we think keem is attacking aspen I think we got to stop with this bullcrap this whole attacking of Like streamers and people and it's got to stop What did aspen say something slightly wrong and somebody's gonna throw a fit about it. Wow, okay Literally, I just opened up lsf. This is like the first thing I see Yeah, ironically enough. I don't know man It's just like people people do things that are stupid. I mean you're you're live Multiple multiple hours a day like dude if I if I'm doing a 12 hour stream, right? If I'm doing a 12 hour stream Do you know how many tv show episodes that is? That's like Including commercials. That's like 24 episodes That's like longer than a season of a tv show in one day and it's all live. It's not scripted. It's not edited Right. Well, I mean, I guess if you're putting on a show that might be scripted maybe but like You get my point, right? Like it's Mistakes are gonna happen somebody is gonna accidentally say something stupid somebody is gonna accidentally do something stupid It's so stressful to have to think that I can misspeak or I can do something That's not right and then all of a sudden like it haunts you forever when it's like look like it's it's a mistake And you can you can learn from it and you can move on at a certain point It's like you can meme on something for a little bit and it's it's funny. Sure whatever Like it's banter, but then you kind of move on at a certain point. It's like, okay, dude Like we get it like get creative Uh culture talks isn't messed up. Yeah, like it just it sucks, man Especially if people have been streaming for that many years like I've only been streaming for three years You know, I was on youtube for a while and then I switched to twitch but then To to to see these other people like you think if somebody hasn't been streaming if somebody's been streaming for eight years 10 years Heck yeah, they're gonna make some mistakes Obviously, you're gonna hate them forever for it What do you like think about all these people who don't have a camera on them almost all day every day for the last 10 years Streamers put themselves out there. They should expect it So that's fair that mentality that you have is is what takes people And doesn't turn them into like it takes people away from being people and their characters streamers are people It's very different than a character on a tv show or whatever In some ways in some ways. Yeah, maybe it is the same, right? Like you don't have the same sort of personal connection but uh you kind of do Because it's very I noticed this growing up and I would listen to the radio Uh, I would listen to the radio. I would listen to the radio on my way to school I would drive to school and I would listen to the radio 30 minutes every morning And I would listen to like morning sports talk radio and I and I noticed over time that I felt like and this was before I watched streams or anything Uh, I noticed over time that I felt like I had a personal connection with the radio hosts I had a personal connection with the radio hosts and like that's like, oh, I know their stories It's like I've known them for like however long I feel like I've known them for years, but like I've never actually met them or talked to them But it's because they share these stories with me All day every day they're talking about stuff, whatever they share their opinions. I agree. I disagree whatever Now fast forward eight years later. I'm streaming I'm kind of in a similar position But there's an additional layer to that and it's the fact that There is A part depending on who you are not all streamers do this, but I'm very like I'm very interactive with chat I go I look at my discord. I talked offline chat. I'm talking to discord Uh, I try and respond to people's messages Their dms and whispers and stuff I try Sometimes I just miss stuff because my brain is like sensory overload all day every day So there's now an additional layer of connection there. So people feel really people have the ability I guess to feel connected, right? Streamers are human They see and read everything And when when you go online and everywhere you look is just hate or something about something you did like four years ago and I mean, dude There's there's people who get hate for stuff that happened before I started streaming Before any single one of anybody in chat had any idea who I was Like there's people that still get hate for stuff that happened before that now Is xcc really human? Okay. Well except for no, I'm just kidding. But like It's it's it's one of those It's one of those things that that I hope that starts to change and people start to understand That um the guy on the other side of the monitor is a real person And I like I've struggled with it too. I'm I'm not somebody who's grown up with Being hated right like I've had times where I've gotten made fun of I've had times where it's been mostly banner Right, like it doesn't always feel good, but it's been mostly banter, but I've never felt like hated until I mean there was time this last year right with the classic wow stuff and I guess just to share share my Piece a little bit for me. I mean like I felt like I had invested in a community and a game for the last like two years I mean like literally after blizzcon two years ago I had like a five hour meeting with uh blizzard about the classic announcement and Kind of what they were planning on and I had like a list of this is bad. This is bad. This is bad But like I was I was very like heavily invested into classic Right. This is something that I wanted to be good. I was passionate about the game. I knew there was Tons and tons of people who were passionate about this game And like it kind of like turned out that like I happened to be the guy I mean like somebody at blizzard literally told me they said the reason why they they like From the private server scene. I was like the one guy who they like looked at their content And I was like, okay. Well, this guy's not crazy I was like So so yeah, um But then I felt like I had so much like personal personal investment In this game and then whenever classic comes it wasn't really until the beta the beta came out and then all of a sudden Everybody hates on streamers and I'm like wait Where does hate come from and it's they were just mad or jealous that like streamers gotten to beta I mean, do you remember when pokeman got the classic beta pokeman got classic wow beta and people were livid just furious My account from 15 years ago. I just uh, I've been a subs since november 2004 and this girl This this woman got access to classic beta and I didn't it's like dude Like do you not understand business? Do you not understand marketing? Like why would you not give it to the biggest female streamer on the platform? Like people just don't understand this right Obviously pokeman's gonna get dude pokeman's gonna get any sort of video game beta that she wants right Especially if like she doesn't actively play the game and now you have an opportunity to show the game off to a new Like these are these are people that are like they don't understand these things right But it was just it was all streamer hate dude It led into classic and it was like there were people that were like This is our server you can these streamers can't play on my server Okay, you're not allowed to play here if you play here, we're gonna harass you and it's like dude What like you realize a big like a big part of like Classic happening was streamers Getting behind and pushing for classic right? Yes, there was lots of people who weren't streamers who also wanted classic Sure a big push and and a lot of like a lot of it came from Streamers were very vocal about it soda got so much hate Soda was one of the first guys freaking waving the flag for classic Like four years ago But like it's it's not it's not that like people just assume these things about about Streamers or streamer communities and all these things. It's like dude. It's it's so dumb, right? I mean, there's still people like I'll go into cross room battleground There's still people who hate on me or other people from from the server that I play on It's like well, there's a streamer And there's no streamer it's just dumb right but these things kind of add up These things add up over time and it doesn't feel good. I remember any sort of decision I made I've like I've never I've never felt this I never felt the amount of hate that I was getting I look back on it and I feel like so much of it was just out of jealousy dude Like people don't even know like I got an onslaught girdle, right? I got the first onslaught girdle that dropped in our in our guild Um First off, I'm the guild leader, right? Of course, of course the guild leader at the beginning of classic launch when an item like onslaught girdle drops A thousand percent the one guy that you know is always going to be in the guild and always going to be around Is a thousand percent justified to get the loot, right? Always one two People don't even know this we had one. They don't know they're not in the guild They're not in the raid We had one fury warrior and one rat palette in our first raid We were stacked with mages because we're trying to get the run in early and all the mages Boost boost boost just like level super fast, right? Well, it wasn't even guild drama. Nobody cared, right? Nobody in the guild cared ever in fact everybody in the guild said take it So it was me in naksa. I whisper naksa and I say naksa. What do you want to do? I whisper the fury warrior I said, what do you want to do? Do you want to roll? I'm putting balls in your court. Do you want this? Do you want to roll on this? What do you want to do? And then he tells me no, no, you should have it You know, you're you you deserve it is your thing Uh, you you deserve to have the first one And I said are you sure and he's like, yeah Okay, so then I got the first onslaught girdle, right rep trial all that stuff It's the meme that's where the meme started on private server. You know what happened Naksa got an onslaught girdle a few weeks later, right? But then there's people just hate hate hate just like, oh, I can't believe he would do this and whatever Yeah, and it's just like dude people are just hate and it's like, you know what? Most of these people don't even play classic. I think or I hadn't played classic They hadn't played vanilla. They don't understand that like onslaught girdle We happen to get lucky enough to get one week one That item wasn't even supposed to be in the game until a month before blackwing lair But they didn't have progressive idolization or uh, the mc progression stuff Yeah, but they don't even know like these aren't vanilla wild players. These aren't people who play They're just people who want to hate. There's a lot of hate inside the twitch community And I think people wanted to avoid that I don't think that's where it came from the hate did not start Until classic beta it didn't that there was no like the classic community on twitch was awesome Super supportive. I mean, I'll tell you dude me Stay safe tips like these these other guys. There are tons of classic content creators tons of classic streamers Uh guzoo, I mean the I I could name like a hundred people right lasanta The we had to get by by not streaming private servers for like two three years until classic came out And the the classic community on twitch was incredibly supportive and then all of a sudden whenever the game actually came out It was just tons of hate. I felt miserable. I I hated like I literally like during that time I hated waking up. I hated it. I've never in my life. Have I have I hated getting up and then going and turning on my stream I'd never felt that before it was miserable. And then what happened is Asman asman takes a break. I'm at the point where I'm like, I'm like, I need a break I'm like, well, if asman's taking a break, I can't take a break I just tried to tough it out and I was miserable for months I was absolutely miserable and people maybe they wouldn't see it on stream. Maybe they would. I don't know But I I feel like my I I felt like my my demeanor On stream changed I actually feel like my demeanor because I felt like I couldn't be funny. I felt I kind of talked to that before like Oh, I'm in the wild section. Can't make any jokes. I couldn't make jokes. I couldn't be funny I couldn't like Like I felt like my personality was muted. It felt it felt terrible I'd never felt that way about streaming again This goes back to what I was saying earlier about like how I dwell on stuff, right? And I think about this stuff a lot But like I I kind of feel the need to like I don't I just feel like sharing it the the hate has got to stop It's something that like this stuff wears down on people and and if you see people hating on Streamers and just people in general if you see people being like negative and toxic and this kind of like just You got to push these guys away like This is not like it's it's not good like freaking weird champ. Um, whatever it is, right It's not good. You can't take on everything. You're not invincible. So it's like, why do you care? What one person says? What do you care? What this guy says? What do you care what that guy says? It's like look, it's it's not about that. It's it's about what a thousand of those say Oh, you know, it's worse is whenever that's happening and you feel like people don't have your back That that's what makes it even worse. The problem is is like I didn't I didn't really I wasn't planning on talking about this today Uh, I just it just kind of happened, but it won't stop. Sure. It won't stop But like a nice comment Or something that's like defending somebody From from people being negative and toxic or whatever it it does add up and it goes a long way