 Hello everyone and welcome. Hello. It's five o'clock. Time for watching the work. Hey, I'm SLP. It's Monday. Welcome to watch me work where we talk about your work and your creative process. We've been doing this show for like 14. We've been doing the show for 14 years or something like that. And we started in the lobby of the public theater. And then during the pandemic we moved on to Zoom and we're going to stay here because it's so much fun. What we do basically is we work together for 20 minutes by this timer. And then you are invited to ask questions about your work and your creative process. And if you have questions about your work or your process, Lolly will tell you how to get in touch and ask the questions. Go Lolly. Yeah. So if you're here on Zoom with us, you can ask a question by clicking the raise your hand function. It is usually going to be in the reactions tab at the bottom of your screen. But if you have any trouble finding it, just let me know in the chat and I'll help you out. And if you're watching live with us on HowlRound, you can ask your questions via the Public Theater's Twitter or Instagram accounts or via the Watch Me Work Twitter account, which is at Watch Me Work SLP with the hashtag HowlRound. That's hashtag H-O-W-L-R-O-U-N-D. Perfect. Perfect. Okay. So we're going to get started and then we'll do the action and then we'll do the dialogue. So here we go. Yeah, here we are. Okay. That was 20 minutes of working. Ready to take your questions about your creative process. We have a question. Yeah, Michelle. Looks like Ace has a question. You should be able to unmute. Hi. Can you hear me? Yes. Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you. So I'm writing a new play right now. But I'm experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety around writing this play based on a play I've written in the past. And so I spent, with that play I've written in the past, I spent three years writing that play. And then after I finished it, spent a year and a half just trying to submit it wherever I can submit it, convince theaters left and right. And now writing this new play, I sort of have this sort of, I feel as if there's no joy in writing it as much because I feel as if I'm sort of writing at the sort of bell of this industry master that wants me to write a play that is more likely to be accepted, to be produced or workshopped instead of writing from my own volition of creativity. To be more specific, my first play, I had nine characters and I wrote in Spanish. And then it's like this weird experiment to whoosh it. But now it's like with this new play, I don't feel as creative and fun. And I'm just like, it's sort of like, it's sort of a weird, like, vanity project where it's like, please, just recognize me and that I'm like a writer. And I'm just writing this play because of this energy I have for like, I didn't get to have my recognition from the first place when I'm writing this other play. So I'm in this sort of weird space where I need some guidance because I think as a young person, starting out in playwriting, I think like I'm putting a lot of like validation for my writing and like institutions and like other people, rather than for myself. Right. I hear you. Those are great questions. Those are really, really important questions. And I think as a young writer, as an old writer, as a person who's been writing as someone who is more just at the beginning of their beautiful career, I think those are questions that we always all have, you know, because the industry does like, as you say, ring that bell and say, do this, do this, do this. I ran into a writer, a really wonderful, great, talented, well-known writer who was so happy recently. And he said, I'm so happy that the, you know, there's a writer strike now, because now I don't have to do that TV stuff. And I can get back to doing those weird quirky plays that I always wanted to do, you know. And I was like, yeah, that's really great. And then I thought, gee, but I say to you, Ace, get in the habit of doing what you want and work as hard as you can to make your way that way, I would say. Because once you get into the habit of doing what other people want, especially if they're nameless, you know, the institution, you know what I mean? I mean, it's not like you've got notes from a specific producer saying, do this with your play, you know. So it's kind of like, I'm trying to write for the industry what might they want, they want a lot of different things, you know. So you're sort of writing, if you can imagine, you're sitting in the front row of a theater, right, watching a show, your show, your play, right, you want to be watching your play, writing, you know, watching your play, creating it, writing it. Instead of looking at your play, you're looking over your shoulder, what do they want? You know, you're wondering what they want, who are they, who knows, right. So I would say as much as you can be your own cheerleader and encourage yourself to write what it is that you want. And so what if your play, your first play, or the play that you're trying to, that you were trying to submit didn't get picked up right away? That's okay. Write another one. But write what you want, I would say, because there's nothing worse than writing what they want, especially if you don't know who they are specifically, you know. You had a nine character play and you wrote it in English and Spanish, you said. Yeah. Yeah. So what are you doing now? Writing out like a three character play in English or Spanish or what, you know, what are you doing? Right now it's just like a typical family drama, that type of stuff where like any local community theater can like pick it up. No, I know. Sorry, I know. But I mean, if you were writing that and you were having fun, right? Then I would say go for it. So you have, you have a choice, right? You have a choice. You can either write the kind of thing that you want to write if you were writing it any way you wanted, or you could cheer yourself on and go, I'm going to have fun writing this typical family drama that any theater would want to do and just be like, I want to write that play that any theater would want to do. No, I know. So you have a choice either this way or this way, you know, or you can write, you can write at the same time. Why don't you write like the family drama and write a play like just like you want to write it. Crazy play, you know, some like a really experimental play. It's tricky. I'm going to tell you either do what you want or do what they want. I would do it. I want. I do it. I really work to do what I want as much as possible. And sometimes the culture does not catch up to you for 20, 20, 30 years. That's true. Sometimes they don't get it. I mean, with my work, people didn't get it right away. It's like, I just kept inching along, you know? Thank you. I think, what do you think? I mean, if I want to be honest, I kind of already knew that answer. It was the answer that you gave me. I just needed someone to help me out and say it out loud because writing is so lonely. So just that's what I needed. Yeah. But you're on the right road. You're on the right road. Writing is can be lonely. Writing can be difficult. You know? I mean, if it were, if it were like watching TV, you know, if you just heard, you know, everybody be doing it, right? Right? Writing can be difficult, you know? And that's okay. And that's why we get together, you know, on Mondays and hang out here and just talk about creative process. You're welcome back anytime. Just come and like, you know, hang out. Thanks. Okay. Thank you. Great question. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Allison has a question. You should be able to unmute Allison. Hi. These are really helpful. This is the first time that I've started writing in a very long time. And one of the issues that I'm having is that now that the kid's out of the house, now that I've left a group, it's very, very hard to motivate myself. And I'm having a bunch of different issues. So a lot of it is with time management. I've never really had creative ADHD before. You know, my kid moved out because all of a sudden I've got this huge amount of unstructured time. Right. And I remember one of our friends was a professional singer. He had four kids. And she would learn her, she would learn her score at stop lights. And it always made an impression on me. She's got four kids riding in the car with her. And she's like managing her time to be, you know, to stop light. And I'm not doing that anymore. And one of the issues that I'm having is how much is time wasting, how much is indulgence, and how much is creative dreaming that's necessary for the next step. So I don't know that's something that can be answered, but I could sure use some tips on structuring my own time because it's about me. And I don't have a heck of a lot of time, you know, to just like sleep all day. I'd really like to get a lot of these things done. So any tips? Welcome. Sure. Sure. Sure. I love, I love questions like this. I usually suggest, you know, what's your favorite time of the day? When are you most focused? Are you a night out morning person? Yeah, I'm a morning person, but I've got to walk the dog. So the dog gets walked. It's an hour. I meet all the neighbors and talk. And then I come home and I want to take a nap. Take a nap. Okay. Just get tired. You know, age related, I have no idea. But the, I like to try to write before I take the dog out, but it doesn't always work out that way. But oh my god, it's like that extra thing. So I'm, I'm, I'm open to hearing what you have to suggest. Okay. Well, if you want to write before you take the dog out, what time do you have to take the dog out? Usually 7 30. And if I don't sleep the night before, then all is lost. But you don't need to know about all that stuff. It's just usually I used to wake up at 6 30. And I used to get all my writing in. And now it's just my time and the heat and everything. But I use excuses. I'm like doing all this stuff that I haven't been doing. And I'm not going to beat myself over it, you know, over for it. But it's just a totally new dynamic with me. Right. The more ideas I have, the harder it is. Get up at 6 30. Yeah. I mean, just, you know, just like, I mean, your kids are out of the house, or, you know, and you have all this time. And now you're you have to readjust, you know, you have to readjust. So you got to, if you can get your writing done before you walk the dog, get your writing done before you walk the dog. It sounds so stupid when I said it. But even if it's just 20 minutes of writing, if that's, you know what I mean, if you get up, say you don't get up at 6 30, say you get up at seven. Okay. You know, great. Write for 20 minutes and then go walk the dog. And that's your writing. That's going to be your writing. And you're going to get 20 minutes of writing done every day. If you get 20 minutes of writing done every day, you're going to get some writing done, you're going to start to accumulate writing. I hear you. I think, you know, you know, some of it's been staring at me. I'm all into it. But these are my issues. And I don't need to drag you into that. But it's like, there's like this weird thing that I'm like using any excuse not to write. So, you know, I'm hearing you. And yes, absolutely. But some of it has changed. Well, like we said to ace, you have a choice. You can write or don't. That's your choice. Should I write the weird thing that I want or should I write the thing that I think people are going to do? Right. We have a choice. You have a choice. I can get my writing done or I can't get my writing. It's not, you know, it's not, I don't, it doesn't sound like it's life or death. You know, someone's not holding a gun to your head and it doesn't sound like you're writing like Anthony Trollup for money, you know, you have a choice. Do your writing or don't. If you're choosing to do your writing, then you got to say, okay, I'm choosing to do my writing. You know, I don't have to write. I'm choosing to write. It's a gift. I'm choosing to write. So what do I have to do to get my writing done? I forget it by at least seven o'clock and do 20 minutes of writing. That can grow. Then I can get up eventually by six thirty again and have an hour before I walk the dog or when I come home after walking the dog, I can have a whatever cup of strong tea or coffee or whatever and focus and do my writing right after I come home and walk the dog after walking the dog. It sounds so easy. You know, it's like, yeah. And that's the thing. Actually, it is. It is once we once we get once we make the choice. You know, this or this, you're going to choose your writing. Then you're going to move the things out of the way that are that are telling you, you're not that you shouldn't do it. It's just a it's a kind of a strength of mind. You're going to say, I'm going to do my writing. I'm going to do my writing. I'm going to do my writing. Maybe have a friend, one of your neighbor friends, if you like them and you trust them, you can check in. I'm going to call after I come home. I'm going to do my writing, then call you and say, I did my writing, you know, something like that. So maybe you have another friend who's engaged a creative exercise also. And you guys can be like creative team buddies or something, you know. A buddy sounds great. Yeah, it could help, you know. Yeah, I appreciate it. I mean, it makes such, you know, it's like duh. But it's just getting in that thing that's just gotten incredibly hard. And I will figure it out and I'll report back. Okay, thank you. Good question. Thank you, Allison. You should be able to unmute now. Let me try again. You should be able to click the unmute button. There you go. This is not so much a question as a comment. When you just said, when you were talking to Ace and you mentioned, you know, just like deciding who are you writing for? Are you writing for a group or are you writing for yourself? And it just brought to mind a case. What you had said, sometimes it takes the world time to catch up with you. And I just, there was, it brought to mind a specific woman that I knew who's since passed on. And she used to teach at, she taught film at City College. And she was trying to make films back in the day. And she, you know, was struggling, but she had her ideas. So she made this film, but at the time it got no recognition. And then she got ill and she passed. She has children. In fact, I recently talked to a daughter. And then literally 30, 40 years later, her film is celebrated. A film that, you know, at the time she just didn't get, well, she had enough support to do it. And then it got done. And then somehow, so many years later, she had the recognition posthumously. I mean, of course her children lived on to talk about their mother and celebrate their mother's gifts. But I remember that time when she, it was, it was kind of rough going, but she still did it. That's my whole point. And so I think that you're saying that it was what she wanted to do. That was what she said, doing what you want to do. And the results or maybe the results you expect, maybe they might come and maybe they might not come, but she, she did what she wanted to do. That's great, Louise. That's a great story to lift up. And because when you're, when you get older, you look back and you go, well, at least I told the stories I wanted to tell. You know, I mean, and I don't know, you can say, oh gee, maybe I don't have that second house in the Hamptons or, you know, whatever it is that people get when they, when they do, you know, and I hope that people who are, who make oodles and oodles of money and whatnot are doing the kinds of things that they want to do, too. I hope they're not just working for, you know, money. But you have, there's a kind of joy in the fact that you do what you want to do. So yeah, definitely. Thank you, Louise. That's a beautiful story. Who's the, who's the filmmaker? The filmmaker is Kathleen Collins. She did a film called Losing Ground, which starred Saret Scott. Oh, okay. And it also starred this guy who, Bill Gunn, who at one time, I think he wrote a couple of things. And then it was, you know, they got a new print, everything, and they were out there, but I had the opportunity to meet her daughter. I was saying your mother did this and your mother did that and blah, blah, blah. And then tears start coming down her eyes, you know, but, but I think what, what, what got to me in terms of what you said was doing what you want. Of course you can work for somebody else. Sure. But doing, and that's what she did. That's absolutely what she did. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Cool, cool. Yeah. You know, and again, just to be, just to say, Ace, I'm not saying like if you get a job offer to work on a TV show or whatever and you're working in a writer's room, take, take that. I'm not saying, yeah, don't take that. Don't make money and go for that. That's because you'll have specific instructions about what they want you to do. That's fine. But when you're trying to guess what an audience that you don't even know might want, that's very, very tricky. That's a tricky place to be. Okay. Okay. Yeah, thanks. Thank you for that. Thanks, Louise. Looks like we got Lou. Hello, Moon. Hi. Hey. I'm just vibing on this theme that's emerging today, so I'm going to share slash ask. I had a, I was working on my project over the weekend and I've been trying to solve a piece of my project and I figured out a structure for it that I just, I just was so excited by. I got so happy. Mm-hmm. And I laughed out loud and I stood up and I told Peter my husband, I was like, I got it. You know, but I've got it. You know, like, I don't know to be determined, but I don't know. I'm just vibing on the offerings of everyone else's shares and I just wanted to say I was pleasing myself this week. I feel like my work is the most me it's been because I've trying to get to that place and I, I think it's the most me and therefore is the best in some ways that it's been, I mean, determined sort of to ACE's founding question of the room today. Like, you know, these, you know, I have had some of the vampires come in and be like, oh, that's you and that's not going to be us. And, you know, they've floating around my head, but I don't know. It's such an interesting, it just I'm really intrigued and so grateful for this space to talk these things out because it's been on my mind too. I'm like, have I just gone off the edge? Like, did I just lose it? Is this what this is what it feels like? Cause I was like laughing, pleasing myself so much with my work. And I don't know. I am, I think it's a good sign. And, and so I'm going to see where it takes me. So I don't really know what my question is. Maybe I'm just sharing today too. I don't really have a question. I think I just wanted to say that because I've been really inspired by what everyone's saying. It's great. It's a great comment. Thank you. Thanks for listening. Hello. Can you hear me? My face froze, it seems. I can hear someone. Oh, it's Lolly. Can you hear me as I'll be? Yeah, I can hear you Lolly. Okay, great. I froze, but it sounds like at least you can still hear me. How weird. Something's happening. I'm going to join on my phone really quickly. Please hold. Oh, you're back. Oh, I'm back. Great. I'll join on my phone just in case, but it looks like Alson has another question if no one else does. Sure. There we go. Hi. I have another question that might have a lot to do with my first question. And it's on a totally different topic, but it has to do with sharing the creative ideas that you have. And I think that one of the issues in not being able to go back is because I've shared too much of what I plan to do. And I don't know if this makes sense, but I talked to a friend of mine who's an editor and I said, you know, I'm going to revisit this thing that I've been working on 10 years ago. And you know, she's very quiet and, you know, you start reading into that a lot. And as soon as it was out of my mouth telling her what I wanted to do, I was afraid to do it. And I'm not quite sure of what the mechanism is, you know, why that would be. But as soon as I let a creative idea go, it's meant to be kind of shared like you go, but then it kind of loses its magic. Right. I hear you. I hear you. That's one of the reasons why we don't actually share our work. That is one of that is probably the reason why we don't share our work and watch my work. I believe that you keep the lid on the pot and it boils more effectively, you know. So yeah, we don't we don't read our work or talk specifically about our where we talk about the process, not the product. So how can you get the lid back on the pot? You know, you can, I mean, you can, so one thing you learned is no, what I call a telebration, no telebration, no celebration before the work is done. So when you talk to your, if you have a friend, a writing buddy or creative buddy and you say, hey, we're going to check in and say that we did our work. Oh, what are you writing about? They might say, and you're like, it's I work better if I don't talk specifics. I'll, you know, I'll give you a copy of the work when I'm done. Is it a novel? Is it a play? I work better when I don't talk specific. I got to keep it in my head. Right. So you can just say, like, you know, that that's how you work best. And then so that's if you need or if you're going to create a situation with a writing buddy. And then about the editor friend, you can practice make believe. So you can replay the scene. So this is gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna replay the scene. You're gonna sit yourself in the, where were you in a room at a diner? Where were you talking with her with them? Phone, phone, phone. Great. Do you know where they were when you were talking to DC? Do you have you been to their? Yes. Because you can imagine where they might have been sitting. I think so. Yeah. Ten. Okay, great. And you know where you were, right? Okay, good. Okay. So imagine them sitting wherever they are, right? And you imagine you sitting or a better yet have them come over to your house. Not really. This is pretend. Have them sit like, you know, at your dining room table, whatever, right? And you're having tea or whatever, right? And recreate the scene and play it and you pitch them the idea. And they say, what are they going to say? What do you want to hear? I think I lose either way. If I hear great, then I kind of don't get what I want to be. No, I'm sorry. I didn't play with. No, no, you don't lose either way, honey. One way you already lost. This is the way you're going to win. Okay. They're going to say, wow, that's a great idea. Don't tell me anymore. I'd love to hear more about when you're done. That's what they're going to say. Wow, it's a great idea. I'd love to hear more about it when you're done. And that's going to make you feel good. And you're going to say, wow, your encouragement really makes me feel good. I have fuel now to write every morning. Thank you. You have to hypnotize yourself, people. You have to hypnotize yourself, really. You have to start telling yourself these like good things about what you're up to. Hey, I got it going on. Hey, I'm doing all right. Hey, I'm going to work for 20 minutes, and it's going to feel good. You got to start telling yourself positive things and really believing it rather than telling yourself negative things. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm no good. I don't have a team. I have no clue. All these things, they're not helping you. So tell yourself, I'm going to get up by 7 o'clock and I'm going to get my writing done. I'm going to reimagine the scene with my friend who's the editor, and they're going to encourage me and I'm going to feel good. Just play in your head. It sounds weird maybe. No, it's great. It's really, really effective. So just run that scene in your head and she's going to encourage you, and they're going to encourage you, and then you're going to feel good. And then you're going to be motivated to write. The self-hypnosis thing is huge, and I think that that's going to be my project, you know, to really, really work on that because it's obviously a theme with me. So I will pay attention. Yeah, what comes out of your mouth, it goes right into your ears. Look at that. Look really good. I mean, it could go up your nose, but yeah, and that goes into your third eye. Oh my God. So it's going into your head, right? Why not make it good stuff? It doesn't cost you anything. It's not like I'm saying go out and buy a program, you know what I mean? For $100. I'm just saying give yourself some good self-talk. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Great question. Yeah. Thank you, Alison. It really, really, really helps. I mean, just what we can do for ourselves. And sometimes, you know, if you find yourself, you know, doom scrolling too much, you know, just be aware of it. Sometimes if you find yourself walking, even walking down the street criticizing somebody, oh, look at her. I would never wear that color. You know, some bullshit you're running your head about some negative thing about someone you don't even know. You know, all that negativity, just be mindful about what's going on in your head and what we're doing, what negative stuff we're saying about other people so that we can feel good about ourselves. You know, why not just take a push pause on that shit and just like pour some love on everything. Hey, I'm going to pour some love on that. I'm going to pour some love on that. Just walk around like that. It really really helps. Really helps lose like, yeah, you twirl in your hair. Yeah, right. It really helps. We think, you know, if we're criticizing other people, you know, you know, it's like, because we have to do that so we can feel good. It's just, it just helps you stop, you stop criticizing other people and suddenly you criticize yourself a lot less. You know, you start just putting love on other people. Oh, bless him. Oh, bless her. You can forgive people who have done you wrong. That's a good one. You know, I forgive so and so whoever, you know, for, for whatever they did. They hurt my feelings. It was real. I let them go. I'm not going to carry that around anymore. You know, I'm not going to say, and when I think about that, I'm not going to go around like that. I'm just going to go, you know, oh, well, you free up your mind and make space for your creative work. You know, it really helps. We have time for about one more question. If anyone would like to volunteer. We're back on set. ASLP. So yeah, this whole conversation is really helpful. I spent Saturday with a young cousin who, who was doing my headshot. She has a photography business. And I was, I've been reflecting on how much artistic talent there is in my family and how much folks resisted it and didn't, and encouraged us not to pursue it and, and how much, how much that I internalized. So, you know, my, my mother was born in 1924. My father was born in 1916. So, you know, there was a whole, there was a whole thing about being productive and, and not becoming a junkie, which was a particular line for my, yeah, I mean, it's just like, all right, you want to be a writer, you want to be a junkie. It's like, okay. So, as I think about what I'm doing and how I, how family is a part of this work that I'm, I'm doing, it, it strikes me that some of what gets in the way is, is the family part of it. And it was so refreshing to be with this cousin who was just very creative, the great, the great photo shoot. And then the son of the other cousin, so she's a daughter of one cousin, my first cousin is, is on, you know, on the autistic spectrum. And it's an excellent photographer too. And it just really, you know, it's just like, so, so for me, the question is, how do I, how do I let myself, you know, enjoy the family and channel that creativity that, that folks weren't allowed to have. You know, I think there's a whole ancestor thing around who, who didn't get to express themselves. And where that, not that I have to write their story, but that they would want me to write my story, I think. And write the stories that I feel are, are mine to write and are important to share. So. I think it has to do with, yeah, don't you think it has to do with the, the things you tell yourself, I mean, you have the voice in your head of you're going to be a writer where you're going to be a junkie. You know, you got, you know, you got to like appreciate that because that's the voice of someone who cares about you. You know, I mean, you're not dissing it, but you're also going, okay, well, then there's another, there's another saying you can say instead, because you played that tape enough already, I, yeah, again, you put that, you can put that 45 or, you know, it's the 78, you know, you put it off and get out your, you know, your, your, your wave file or whatever and play something else, play something that you say about you. Those are the voices that you got it or, or, or anybody saying something positive and encouraging about your work. You know, you know, and even if you just walk down the street, talk to yourself, I do it all the time. People think out there, she is walking on the street, talking to herself. Yeah. You know, because I just say, I just say things to myself goes out of my mouth, you know, but I mean, you know, but I mean, and it's so easy to do in a way. It's difficult, but it's also easy. Once you just decide, you decide, you're, I'm going to be, I'm going to watch what my mind, what goes on in my mind. I'm going to, I'm going to be mindful. Yes. And yeah, get a handle on it. Yeah. Thank you. Good question. It's six o'clock. It is six o'clock. We will be back here same time next week and the week after those sign up sheets are on the public theater website. So please sign up and we'll see you then. Thank you all so much. Thanks. Great week. Bye.