 Good morning everybody. I'm closing my sunroof because it is bright as heck I was just enjoying a little bit of sunshine before it gets very hot. It's 11 a.m. Right now on a Tuesday I actually just finished another portion of the last vlog like 10 minutes ago So for you guys, it's probably a few days later, but for me, it's been like a few minutes But in case you missed that I am on my way to get my hair done Just get my hair touched up and I'm excited the salon I go to is very COVID safe So it makes me feel very comfortable and yeah, I thought for today's vlog I would do a little Q&A. I haven't done one of those in a while and I feel like just catching up Shooting the shit even though I know it's like you just sending me questions and me answering them I definitely feel like I Still I'm having a conversation with you. Does that make sense? I don't know it just makes me feel a lot more connected and it makes me happy So I asked you all on Instagram. You know how it goes. You know what a fucking Q&A is like Come on. Why do we say that? I asked you on Instagram to send me questions and then you sent me questions No shit. I've screen-trotted some to my phone and I'm going to make sure to be very careful I'm at a stoplight right now, so I will go ahead and jump in. Let's go. Oh my gosh I just picked some at random my friend Rosie Blair asked a movie You will stop flipping the channels for every time without a doubt hands down. That's the wedding singer Particularly the wedding singer just holds like such a nostalgic place in my heart I don't know. I've been obsessed with it since I can remember a lot of my closest friends Especially Drew like we bonded over that movie when we first started working together and like we've definitely had this like I don't want to say similar situation But for sure I was like dating a series of not great guys and he was kind of like my best friend That was there all along so he's definitely Robbie. I'm definitely Julia We were also Robbie and Julia one year for Halloween Which was hilarious because Drew refused for whatever reason to shave his beard that year Even though he shaved his beard since then and he just looked more like the uncle Then Robbie, but anyways. Oh my friend Michelle Deflock. I love her so much She asked your queer celeb crushes, please. Thank you so much for asking I've been waiting to talk about this forever. Just kidding. I don't know I'm trying to think like who am I really into at the moment because I've had like lifelong ones I feel like Topanga I probably should have known very early on that my like affinity and my like Obsession with watching Boy Meets World for Topanga was probably cuz I had a crush on her The other thing that's coming to mind is hilarious because again It was sort of like a thing that took over my entire 20s late teens and most of my 20s honestly And that was my obsession with Lauren Conrad and now looking back. It's like yeah Definitely had a crush on her as of recently who have I been feeling as recently hmm Phoebe Bridgers I have a crush on always I don't know if people would consider her to be a celebrity because she's an elected official But AOC I have had a crush on Rihanna for the longest like the longest and also probably Issa Rae I was obsessed with insecure Drew and I had just kind of like started watching it. I don't know a few months ago It was an amazing show and I just loved Issa I just thought she was amazing a belief of yours that has changed this one I thought was really interesting for example you were against something and now you're for it So I wouldn't say like exactly against something or for it I definitely think that recently my opinions have shifted or sort of loosened when it comes to Autonomy over people's bodies in the diet culture space and hear me out It used to be that I thought that like if you dieted instead of falting diet culture as a whole I used to sort of like not fault the individual but just kind of cast judgment in a way and I'd be like They're promoting dieting. It's so unhealthy. You know all these different things and it's such a nuanced Conversation it's such a nuanced topic with so many layers But I've just kind of recently come into the realization that people have autonomy over Their own bodies and they can do whatever the fuck they want with their own body It's really harmful for a lot of people and I'm not saying that it's not I'm not discrediting people who are in recovery for eating disorders or on a journey to heal their relationship with food or their body or whatever But I'm also just not here to be like the police of dieting and like whatever it is that you want to do That's your journey. I'm not gonna tell you what to do what not to do I'm not here to judge a couple people that I follow online have sort of intentionally begun like a weight loss Journey and there would have been a time where I was very Critical and judgmental and now I'm just sort of trying to hold space for them and just have grace and just Understand that being in a body in general is fucking difficult and complicated Especially if you're in a more marginalized body and so who am I to tell you what to do and what not to do with your Body society judges women enough as it is and women judge other women enough as it is in particular in my experience And so I'm not here to like add to that I got a couple questions about like what are your thoughts on test holiday recently like revealing that she has anorexia or Different things within sort of like the fat liberation community body positive community, which I don't necessarily I don't center myself in that like I'm an observer and I'm an ally if you want to say that I don't I feel Like people kind of diagnose themselves as an ally, but that's not really like your spot to do I'm just here to like support Amplify be there to be your hype woman I'm not gonna be at the center of it because there's plenty of like mostly straight-sized white women who are at the center of it Anyways, I just want to normalize like not having a strong opinion about everything You know like sometimes you just don't have an opinion I sent all of my love to test holiday going through Disorder eating myself growing up was really difficult I can't imagine having an eating disorder that must be really hard and I'm just sending her all my love like I don't It's weird. What do you mean? What are my thoughts like my thoughts are of that? That's a really hard thing to go through and fuck yeah to her for opening up about her journey And I hope that she's in a much more healed and happy place now And it's just become this very opinionated place to be on the internet and trust me trust me I have a lot of opinions, but you don't have to have it Do you feel less anxious now that you're fully vaccinated a hundred percent? It's weird because I have like mixed feelings about it But for the most part I'm feeling so much more comfortable Which is like why I'm going to get my hair done right now Why I got my nails done yesterday why we're going out of town I'm like going out of town a couple times this month and I mean granted I'm going out of town and I'm only going to see people who are also fully vaccinated So it's not like I'm just going and you know eating indoors and doing all these different things I'm literally just like seeing my other friends who are back. I still have thoughts about it I kind of have apprehensions, but I'm just trying to reintegrate into life as slowly as possible I'm not doing anything. I don't feel comfortable with so like for example hanging out in large groups No, that's a no for me hanging out with people who aren't vaccinated That's a no for me apart from like small children, you know things like that. So I'm I'm really happy about that What do you miss the most about living in LA? Oh my I mean, maybe if you watch my vlogs you would know But the majority of my closest friends live in LA Which is weird because all of my best friends who live in LA are my best friends from national Randomly and it's occurred to me that some people who watch this channel don't know that I spent half my life in Nashville I lived there for 17 years. I grew up there It's like my second home Sometimes even more so than Arizona because it was like my growing like formative years that I spent there Here's the timeline in case you haven't heard it born in Arizona lived here till I was 12 Move to Tennessee lived in Tennessee basically until I was like 28 or something then moved back to Arizona in between there I moved back to Arizona a couple times for like a couple year stints But I was always back and forth between Arizona and Tennessee if that makes sense. So anyways, yeah That was a really really long random explanation But I have some of my closest friends from Nashville who live in LA So they are like my best friends and not being near them makes me really sad and also like I Wanted to kind of touch on this because I feel like it's something that a lot of adults go through and that is getting really wrapped up in Work and getting so caught up in work that you neglect Relationships in your life and that's definitely my experience when I lived in LA And I don't know if I have like really talked about that but to address Leah Alexa Sierra Macy et cetera Those are all my actual friends as well But I got to see them a lot because it was also like we were filming and making content and that was work And I was taking a ton of grand deals when I first moved to LA because I was panicking just like trying to figure out how to pay La rent it basically left me zero time to spend time with my lifelong friends and friends that I've had for 15 to 17 18 years at this point and then the pandemic happened and then I moved away And it just felt like I lived there for nine ten months something like that 11 months And I didn't even get to like enjoy Having my real-life friends there I put way too much focus on my career and zero focus on my personal life So I would definitely recommend if you were in a situation like me don't wait until it's too late Like I know work is important, but it's not everything Don't forget to nourish and nurture the relationships that you have in your life But people love you whether or not you're a youtuber, you know, I guess my long answer Short is that I really miss having my friends around But I'm very excited to see them this weekend has an ex ever reached out to you over a story time. You did lol Yes, I'm not in contact with a lot of my exes to be truthful I have most of them walk not because I like hate them or you know, we're in this like bad place It's just like I'm just not trying to give access to people from my past You don't have to give everyone access to you can just be done and move on So most of the time, yes I have had exes reach out and be like what the hell or saw your video haha like summer cool about it It is what it is, but yeah, I don't spend a lot of time Entertaining that it's just kind of like it was a story about me and my life and what happened to me So if they're feeling some type of way about it, then that's something they can work through with their therapist next Several influencers took out unnecessary PPP loans. What are your thoughts? If they are taking advantage of the system, hopefully karma will come around and get them But also we don't really know someone's financial situation. I don't know of anyone who's done this I don't know if there's like someone specific you have in mind, but I Don't involve myself in people's business like that. Well, you leave Arizona again Good question. Drew and I talk about this often probably. Yeah, you know It's weird that this situation turned out the way it did But you know, I talked about moving to LA personally for like five years before I did it And when I did finally do it I got way too wrapped up in work like I said and I didn't really get to enjoy it that much because I was so Busy that all I did was just sit home work And sure I filmed a lot of content because I was getting together with a lot of my YouTube friends And that was wonderful and amazing and that was such a magical time in life Especially my YouTube friends that I'm so thankful for and then also a pandemic happened And so it made no sense for me to pay such expensive rent to just sit inside my house for a year So it made the very tough decision to come back home and now That things are starting to look a little better We've talked about it Maybe like giving it another shot and not because I feel like I always need to clarify this even though I don't owe anyone an explanation I don't want to live in LA to be an influencer like I just want to live in LA because my friends are there and because I love Los Angeles, so I don't want to like go to Saddle Ranch and hang out like I'm older That's just not my scene. I'm pretty sure everyone knows that but regardless I just really love LA so much and drew and I had had this sort of idea of what our life in LA was gonna Be and then it was like sort of starting to get there But then you know that got taken away So yes to answer your question. We will probably go back to LA at some point I think that's pretty safe to say When that will be I'm not sure as an update for any of you that have been following along our Landlord isn't gonna let us do a month-to-month lease, but she is gonna let us sign a six-month lease So we're extending our lease six more months And so we are gonna get to have an opportunity to just live in our house throughout the rest of the year and sort of Figure it out because Drew is I think gonna start going back to work in the office pretty soon And that's a very long commute. We love this house so so much It's not our forever home by any means, but we really really love where we are at the moment So we have until the end of the year to sort of figure out like okay Are we gonna try this again? We'll have a better idea of the way things are gonna look like maybe traveling will be more of an option by then And we'll just like I don't know I think life will be a bit more normal by the end of the year Hopefully then we'll have a better idea of what we want to do and where we want to live if we want to stay here There's a lot of different options, but I think It's safe to say that we definitely have a desire to go back. It'll all just depend on Drew's job Let's do a speed round ready. You seem happier lately. What has changed to make that happen? I'm getting a vaccine next. When are you going to Disney? Are you gonna visit Alexa soon? I'm going to Disney Maybe when they allow outside of California residents The thing is my Disney account is still registered as a California resident because I was a California resident But I'm not anymore, so I'm not gonna like scam the system and go they're currently only letting California residents in When that changes, I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to have a think about it It's gonna depend on like if they're not at full capacity and like what the guidelines look like I'm not opposed to it. I just I don't know we'll see because it's like there's no way to guarantee that everyone's been vaccinated So I don't know IDK have you lost friends in this pandemic because same. Yes, I have I have had people in my life Who have shown their ass just being honest? There are some people who I'm like Oh, I can now see after all of this year and some change happening that we are not Compatible as friends and that happens whether that be political beliefs whether that be anti-mask anti-vax whatever Yeah, it's just been a very revealing time and that's totally fine friendships sometimes have expiration dates These apartments are very beautiful. Sorry very distracted, but yes, and I think that that's okay I mean it's sad. I'm not trying to like brush past it, but it's just something that happens Who's your best friend funnily enough? I don't know if anyone has seen my best friend Oh, well, I filmed a video when I went to her wedding a couple years ago But I have had the same best friend for like 15 years something like that. Honestly, I don't know Um, her name is Alana and she doesn't have social media. She's not online. It's kind of funny because That's like a whole there's a whole part of my life that people have no idea about I show certain friends on the internet But there are also friends that I don't show on the internet There's family that I don't show on the internet So it's like funny that yeah people are like who's your best friend, but she's been my best friend forever She's like my sister. How come you don't sing anymore on social media? You have such a pretty voice. Oh my gosh Thank you so much. We'll end it there because I'm about to pull into the salon But thank you I think because of my own self-doubt like I look back at old singing videos that I used to post Oh God on YouTube and like on Instagram and to me. They're very cringe It's just very very very very very cringe But that could not be the case for everyone. It could just be me judging myself singing to me has become just more of a personal thing It's always been a passion and a hobby and so now it's sort of something I hold close to my heart I don't really know if I'll ever sing publicly I mean maybe a clip here and there and vlog or on Instagram stories or something, but I just don't know if I feel Compelled to share that anymore. It's just something I mostly enjoy for myself And I don't sing that regularly anymore So I feel like I've kind of like lost my voice if that makes sense. I don't know anyways about to pull into the salon I don't know exactly where I am. I love you all very much. Thank you so much for watching this video Hopefully the next vlog that you see will be my LA vlog maybe I'm going to vlog as much as I can there But I'm also going to keep in mind that this is my first trip back This is my first sort of dip back in the water if you will So I'm just going to take it easy and not shove a camera in all my friends faces But I am going to do my best so anyways, I love you all and I will see you in the next one. Bye