 Good morning, John. I'm using tripod for support, so I don't have all over. Oh, goodness. Jet lag is real. I was staying at a very nice hotel in Melbourne. It was part of the pan-Pacific hotel chain. You ever stayed at a pan-Pacific? They're so nice. Beautiful view out of the river. Soft satin sheets. I don't know what satin is. Probably they were cotton, but nice cotton. Cotton that grew out of the ground with one hope in its little cotton brain to make me happy. Melbourne was super nice. The whole experience of VidCon Australia was so nice. I love Australians. It was so great. But, John, back to this hotel for a second. There was a bathtub and a shower. Like, this was a nice place. The art and the... I'm sorry I didn't take any video. What do you expect? What am I? A professional video? I am. I am. Here's the thing. Toilet paper was a miserable disgrace. I get that if I'm like at Walmart and I have to poo, that I'm gonna be touching my butt with the worst thing ever. I'm not happy about it, but that's the sitch. It's Walmart. I used to work at Walmart. People, like, would go in and take all of the toilet paper off the roll with them home. I replaced the toilet paper rolls and I knew that, like, okay, it's been two hours. Somebody filled their backpack with the Walmart toilet paper and they left. Okay, that's a way to save some money that I had not thought of. That's why Walmart doesn't have nice toilet paper because people will take it. But this was a very nice hotel. Do Australians just have, like, iron butts? Raise your hand if you got, like, a butt problem. I just want you to know that you're not the only one. A lot of people just raise their hands. There are a lot of butt problems. I don't think that we should be ashamed of them. There's hemorrhoids, there's anal fissures. You don't want to be ashamed of that one, but you also don't really want to say it out loud. And so many people have IBD. Like, the more you go to the bathroom, the more a chance of... Just... ...pant area unpleasantness. And you got to get clean, and we don't have bidets because it's America. In Europe, they got bidets for days is something I just wanted to say. And I think maybe a lot of people who don't have butt problems aren't aware that that can be the worst. A single bad toilet paper experience can ruin, like, days of my life. Like, walking becomes a thing that I, like, I don't want to do that. And I've developed some techniques and strategies. It's good to have, like, a little tube of, I don't know, basically diaper rash cream. A little lubrication for your... This is your butt cheeks. Right here. These are your butt cheeks. Your booty is what cheeks. Get some anti-yortment and make an appointment and then the irritation as you strut cheeks. Your butt cheeks. These hands are your butt cheeks. The motion I'm making is a simulation of the action about the butt cheeks. These are your butt cheeks. Maybe I should go the next step, and I should take my, like, ultra soft, downy, or whatever with the bears that are so happy about how the butts are very clean, whatever those bears are. I basically buy toilet paper the opposite of how I order food when I'm at a restaurant. I, like, open the menu and I'm like, this is too much. And I just pick the cheapest thing. Toilet paper's the opposite of that. I just buy the most expensive toilet paper because I assume that they've done something. It's confusing, though, right? Because sometimes, like, double the length of roll. And, you know, man, I don't know. I don't know. Give me, like, a per-yard cost. You're making it intentionally confusing. I, I understand. That's how profit works. Step one, make a product. Step two, confuse the consumer. Step three, profit. I get it. It works for the American medical system. Oh, you guys are gonna have to get some salve for that burn, which you will charge yourselves way too much for. Anyway, I understand that, uh, it's capitalism. In our home lives, we don't see the 20% or 40% premium that we're paying for nicer toilet paper. But a business, especially one that buys a lot of toilet paper, is gonna see that as a huge and important expense that they're gonna want to eliminate. At the cost of people with butt problems having a good day. John, I will see you on Tuesday.