 And just because you enjoyed it doesn't mean you're not straight. Just stop worrying about it. I'm hard right now. Welcome back! Season 3! Season 3, we did it! Wow, episode 81. So many millions of people listening right now. Holy shit, I'm overwhelmed, man. I don't even know... I don't even know where to begin right now. There's just so much to talk about. We had a fun little break. We had some time off. We went on the boys' trip. It was a lovely place. Matt was there. Yeah. Tell us some highlights, Matt. Can we tell everyone that you did drugs on the boys' trip, Matt? Or would you prefer that we leave that out? Very good. Very good. So much excitement. Yeah, we went on the boys' trip. We had a night on... Look, we aren't... On the diesels. We aren't fucking back to our full party ways by no means. So we thought we'd treat ourselves for being such good boys at the end of last year, and we had a just cheeky little half-night. It wasn't a full night. Half-night. Half-night? Yeah, it wasn't like a proper heart-out raging. Yeah, we did stop on the bloke pretty early. But we were up to, like, 6 a.m. On the first night? At 5, 4 a.m. Yeah, we're up pretty late. Yeah, that's right. Us three and James are all in that room talking shit for a bit. The library, we call it. The library or the reading room. But then the other nights, we just watched movies and tried to smoke weed and... The place was amazing. Yeah, the cinema room. Let me tell you, man, that place, right, was good. Oh, fuck. That was a good house. You can put it in the good house category. I played a bit of video games. Yeah, Matt finished... Started and finished the UFC career on the UFC game. And what else are we? We played a lot of golf during our holiday. Other than the boys' show, what else do we do? Wasn't there something else that we did? I am here. I went away with my gopher and asked her for a little bit. I bought fucking seasons one to nine of One Tree Hill. Yeah, great purchase. What are you up to now? I'm about halfway through first season. I'm pretty fucking over it already. It's not as good. Surely it gets better, though. Surely it gets better. Yeah, I'm sure it does, but I'm finding it hard. It's like... What?! Yeah. Bravo, dude. Whoa. Yeah, it's not as good as I remember it. Like, it's like anything. When you're a kid, it's better. And then as you get older, it's like what the fuck was I thinking? Anyway, pretty fun holidays. So much shame. No, that was beautiful, dude. Are you sure? Yeah. Because I don't know all about it, eh? No, it's very true. Sometimes I think it's really gross and disgusting. No! I don't know whether I should do that anymore. It's special. Not many people can rip their ass whole apart and still make a sound that tight. I don't know about my future. No, yeah, don't worry about it. Futures for the future. Okay, all right, I trust you, boys. All right, I trust you with that. I'll keep doing it, okay? Yeah, good boy. It hurts a lot. Yeah, it's okay. Let's have a fucking heart attack one day. Also, this year we got some fucking, we got some sick shit lined up, right? He's got a fucking broken rib again, the dumb fucking cunt. You were there, Matt. The fucking dumb cunt's got a fucking dumb bitch broken fucking rib on the other side. You fucking idiot. We're filming a series this year, right? We're upping the quality. Production. Everything about social, we'll still put out weekly social media videos, but at the moment we're working on a one to 10 episode series called Which Sport is the scariest, right? And we do, we pick, we've picked the 10 most violent sports and then we pick, we contact a ex-athlete or ex-professional or current professional in that sport and get them to do a video with us, all right? Now, I don't want to say too much, but we've got Anthony Mundine for the boxing episode and Michael broke his rib because we had, I don't know if, if anyone watches rugby union. Sayah Fahinga. Sayah Fahinga. How do you really say it? Sayah Fahinga. No, do the fucking give it spirit. Sayah Fahinga. He's a spirit. He's one of the twins, he's a twin, he's Wallabies player, he's played like a hundred tests for the Wallabies and he's known to just fucking fuck dogs, fucking snap cunts in half. He's put like fucking hundred dudes in hospital, he's a fucking, you wouldn't think at looking at him. You know, he's, you know. He's pretty big. He's big. He's definitely like a hundred and 15 killers, but looking at him I was like, oh, okay. It's not so bad, huh? It's not so bad. I knew it was going to be bad. And he tackled Michael and fucking snapped the cunts rib. You hear it. One hit. Clean little snap. And yeah, it was, it's great footage and I fully bitched out. I fully bitched out after seeing that. No, it's hard to go second. I'm going to nominate myself to go first from now on because it's just like in the Gridiron episode, you freaked out when you see me fly off that fucking monster. Yeah, for the Gridiron episode, the dude weighed 160 kilos. That's double, more than double my weight. So that would be like the equivalent of like us having like Bosley run at us, like on his hind legs. Like a little eight year old. Yeah, a little fucking 10 year old little girl. That's what it would have been like for him. Oh, anyway, also you may have noticed, some of you may have noticed we've started another Instagram account called quadruplem, right? And we will be marketing medicinal marijuana products on there and there's more to come in that space, all right? So just follow that martinmichaelunderscoremm on Instagram. We've gone from science to medicine. And so we're scientific doctors now. We have a little piece of paper that says that. Scientific doctor. Yeah, or scientific stunt doctors. We're still working title, right? We'll figure it out. Also guys, we've also started an Instagram specifically for the podcast, martinmicrofliactual. So I'm going to give that a follow. We'll just be using that for updates and shit like that. Fucking plus let's just get the sponsorship stuff out of the way and then we can move on to the fucking and the good shit. Oh, that's pretty. This is pretty. The sponsorships. Oh, let's be honest. It's kind of, it's a bit boring. Most people are switching off their eyes and ears. These sponsors are some to stick around for. Phew, here we go. Martin Michael, this episode, we're sponsored by Manscaped, all right? They do the, I'm sure you've heard of them, the male grooming shit, right? Right here, you've got a fucking ball trimmer. Now this ball trimmer is waterproof. I used it the other night. It doesn't cut at all. I had no breathing. He was trying to, he was trying to cut his wrists with them. No, on your balls, they don't even cut. Look, look at this. I'm putting it against my wrist and nothing. So if you're suicidal, don't buy them. But if you want clean, smooth testicles and you like to shave your fucking testicles in the shower, go to manscape.com. Use our discount code fully actual, all one word, fully actual, you get 20% off plus free shipping anywhere in the world except for New Zealand. Look at this shit. No, I'm kidding. New Zealand you're in as well. You get ball toner. You get ball deodorant. Yeah, let's have a look at this. It smells nice after. If, so yeah, if you want, if you're like needing a new shaver or something, just fucking help us out by buying some of these with our discount code, if you're going to buy one anyway and then fucking we all win. You know what I mean? Cause you get it for cheaper. It's a great product. And here's a ball mop. They got little mops for your testicles. Can I use one? Yeah, of course you can. And helping them helps the podcast. That's exactly right, Matthew Brown. That is exactly right. So that's sponsor one. So go and help yourself to some manscape products. All right. All right, the second sponsor. Oh, Michael's really getting in there. God. Is it nice? That is distracting. That is sickening. Does it feel nice? Oh yeah. I was hot. Stop it. So yeah, get some fucking manscaped up your guts and they will continue to sponsor this podcast which helps us in return. Matthew Brown. What's the underwear they put in there as well? Oh yeah, you get free undies. Or not free. Depending on your order, you get some cool free shit that, you know, you got a little fucking, what's in here, right? I want to bloody have a look in here. Toot, toot, toot. A little bit of a, what's this, eh? What do we got in here? Oh, it's the charger. It's the charger for the fucking, for the fucking shaver. All right. You got a little, a little toiletry bag. Look at that. Fucking perfect. Fucking boom. All right. So they'll continue to sponsor the podcast. If you just go and use the discount code to buy some of their shit. Manscape.com discount code fully actual. This is also, that great segue for us to mention that this podcast is also sponsored by our very own University of Markle, where we are now posting fucking ginormous vlogs. 20 minute, 30 minute vlog. The last one was 40 minutes long. So this is like our entire week. We film bits every day and we put it all together for an entire week. So you get to see behind the scenes of everything. We include extended cuts of all our social media videos. It's fucking, it's fucking good. Like it's fucking like I'm actually, last year we sort of breezed over as like, oh yeah, you know, we got this fucking subscription way. It's not bad now. It's fucking- Now it's like so much fun because we can just film our fucking activities. And like the episodes now, Julian's- They're just a dancer of fuckery. Julian's fucking turned them into like a TV episode. He does a good job. They're, fuck, it's good shit. You can sign up for free and have a look to see if you like it. So just fucking go and have a look, universitymarkle.com, right? And since this podcast is free and if you do want to support us, most of our shit is free. Help us out by subscribing to that. Okay, and that is, that is all we'll say about that. All right? But just fucking do it. Yeah, no, yeah. We demand it. And help our manscape friends out. Anyway, enjoy the podcast from now on. All right guys, that's the end of episode one. Ha ha ha ha. I'll imagine that cut. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Now we have a fucking fun thing to do. Well, let's explain what we're gonna do for the episode, man. Let's let everyone know so that everyone doesn't want to leave. Can we move this please? Yeah. All right, we'll move it. We'll leave some of the products out here. This box can just be a ball fucking deodorant. Fucking shit. All right, so for this episode we've got a few new segments. We're gonna trial them, see how we go. Gone with the flow, man. We're trying to be much cooler this season. Yeah, look, we've changed the letters from rainbow to like a slick black with lights in it. And we've removed most things from the table. So if you want to send us some shit, use our PO box. Yeah, we're gonna, for new season, you start. Gone with the flow. Hang tent. We've also got a segment where I aggressively read German phrases. Can't wait. That was sent in by Nikki, one of our fans. That's right. That is correct, Matthew Brown. Look how many she did. That would have taken ages. We also have some cool shit sent via the PO box during our break, which we'll open a few things today. And the rest, we got Arnold Fun making a return on the prank call. He's gonna try and buy a house. And fuck questions. We got fucking, it's just a big, oh, and our brand new segment, which I can't wait to get into, it's a new segment called The Hunt. Oh yeah. And that's fucking, you wait. I'm not even gonna explain that. You have to stick around. Sorry, mate. Sorry. It's good. Be cool, man. Be cool, remember? Feels like the fucking table's wonky. Is it, Matt? No, it's fucking perfect. Am I really shiny on camera, Matt? No, you're good. Okay. Well, I'm sweating a lot. Look at that. It's from the wig, Mr. Clank, huh? The wig, the hot lights. Hello, I'm Dr. Warren. I'm taking this wig off. Oh, it's so good. Just like that. Yes, I liked it better before. Now it's like an emo blonde fringe. Yeah. Remember emos? Yeah, they're still kicking. Remember that emo you followed home and put his dog in a potato sack and beat it against the tree because you didn't like emos? What? Yeah. Yep. Anyway, what's next? Ah, we're up to on this day. On this day! It has returned. It has returned. And wow, there is some, there's some shit that I don't know happened. And for Matt's research skills, this would be a shit segment, but he's very good at researching. There's some shit here that's just like, how did we not hear about that? Well, there's been a lot of COVID and shit like that. This is stuff from years ago, some of it. Oh, really? Oh, man. Dark web research. There you go. Wow, you have access to that. Well, there's ways. Dude, that's hot. All right, this first one is actually quite sad. So we might just have a moment of silence after it, but and this is the first I've ever read about this. I had no idea this place even existed, but on this day in 2014, so seven years ago today, we remember the victims of the Fahala massacre when 19 people were fucked to death by seven massive African bodybuilders. They were high on a concoction of meth and extra strong viagra and stormed a special needs facility after a night of partying. Let us share a moment of silence while we picture the seven huge bodybuilders high on meth violently fucked their way through 19 innocent mentally impaired people. How old were they? They were ranging in ages, but let's just have a moment of silence. How old was the youngest? Just really picture it. Picture that happening. Well, okay, I need the ages. Shh, come on, just think of the... No, no, no, don't go away. Don't go away with me. Disgusting people. There's some really, it's just sad that that happened still. Well, fuck, has it happened since then? Well, you know, it was only seven years ago, but like, man. How many years did they go away? What are you building in general? Like, it really fucks with your hormones and, you know, you mix meth with it and viagra. You know, it's not... Stormed a special needs facility. Well, like, did they go for life? Or... You're asking the wrong person. I'd never even heard of it. Matt researched all this. Did you... was there footage of it? Can we watch any footage? Hard to find. Dark web. Right. We'll take the word from that. We're not going to put that on. Come on. We don't want to do that to people. I mean for us to watch. On this day in 2018, Morgan Freeman battled for his life when a stray cat entered his house. The stray cat slashed deep, bloody veins into his back as Morgan ran for his life. Morgan remembered that cats hate fire and set the fucking thing ablaze. In fact, it probably made sounds a lot like this. And he says here, Matt, to demonstrate the sounds of the cat. So, what would... What would the sounds be like of a burning cat? Meow. Oh, come on, Matt. Fucking... You wouldn't have... You wouldn't have written that at the end unless you had something you actually really wanted to demonstrate. Come on, put your fucking lungs into it, Matt. You've... I heard you practicing outside. What? Come on! Do the sounds of a burning cat, Matt. Come on! Hey, I'm just going to picture a burning cat. Yeah, that's it. Picture the fucking thing. Run around the house on fire. Meow. Come on. Yeah! That's pretty good. Truly, truly. You've done that. You've fucking set a cat on fire before. Are you Morgan Freeman? Next. On this day in 2019, Sylvester Stallone ran a full marathon on his knees to raise awareness for autistic apes. He dragged his knees along roads for 42 kilometers, which resulted in his kneecaps being completely worn off. He now uses those Jew hats as kneecaps and said if he had his time over again, he would not have done it. Oh, do gorillas fucking walk on their knees? No, it's just... I don't know. What are you asking me for? Matt? It's a very weird thing to do, don't you think, Matt? He must have been on the old thing. And Jew hats for kneecaps? Like, are they hard? I've never touched one, but they are, like, perfect kneecaps. They look comfy. Yeah, they're probably... You can get different sort of... You can get different sizes too, I bet you that. Yeah, for big heads for small heads. I bet you that for free. On this day... On this day in 2015, Kim Kardashian connected a car battery to her electric toothbrush. The bristles spun at such a velocity that they shattered her teeth and grated her tongue. The fast-spinning bristles even created a small black hole which leads to a spot back in time before she was married to Kanye. She visits that time quite frequently and sometimes stays there for days at a time when Kanye's Alzheimer's flares up and makes him difficult to love. Wow, that's fucking deep. Man, that's like science, man. Like, she could fucking sue Slippie on her team or some shit. Are they getting divorced? Roderanema! Yeah, I'll fax it. Are they getting divorced? I wouldn't surprise you. I heard a rumour. It's Kanye's Alzheimer's is really out of control. I was reading Woman's Day, but... Oh, you can't trust that shit. Oh, look, they're better than a current affair. Damn. And the Daily Mail. I don't mind the Daily Mail now after they said one nice thing out of 50 about us. Oh, really? Have they done a story on us? Yeah, the coin car. The coin car, the nice thing. They said about a nice thing, no more. By the way, everyone has been seeing the coin car around. Man, the coin car is just... I just literally had an email today from the Korean Mail. They're doing a story on it. And, like, there's fucking Facebook groups. You know how we parked at Gasworks the other day? Yeah. That got... Someone took a photo, put it in, like, a new farm Facebook group. Went nuts again. We've got to leave the sign on top when we park it. Yeah. 100%. But it's scary because people might take it off. You might just have to have it when you're driving around. Nah, fuck it. Well, we can liquid nails it on. That solves everything. Yeah, but I don't like driving around it on my street. It's, like, so arrogant. Oh, Michael, you... Michael is very particular about the reputation he has on this street. No. He has the neighbors thinking and anything poorly of him. No, I just... You won't even let me stand naked in your front yard. Dude, fucking him so... He just pisses facing my neighbor's house. It's your... It's our... It's kids' next door. Man, just fucking control where they fucking look. Can't... If I had fucking kids right, if I fucking had a couple of kids and they're fucking staring at some cunt pissing on his own, fucking walking across the road, I'd fucking pull him away from the fucking window and I'm fucking sitting in their fucking room. Can't control what your kids are looking at, your dog can't... Dude, there was one time he was, like, outside of my house naked when we were in the pool for, like, half an hour just trying to dance and shit. And then one dude, the truck driver, walked past, Martin didn't see him and he fully fucking saw your dick and he just sort of cowered away after that for a bit. But yeah, I just try and make sure that everyone's comfortable because we went from fucking, you know... That is not arrogant. Having our sign on top of the coin car, it is a work of art and people need to know who made it. Okay. I should have a story about the coin car. Oh, here we fucking go. Mad fucking brown. You wanna fucking go? I heard a group of police officers came up from Canberra for training and saw the coin car and got photos in front of it. You're lying. True story. Who told you that, Matt? Where's this on your on this fucking day, cunt, huh? You doing your fucking research about the coin car? Where's a fucking on this day about a dog, huh? You fucking walking away, fucking dog! Where are you going? You fucking drug addict! I'm shutting your doors. Oh, yeah, smart. Fucking drug addict. See what I mean? We have fucking done mushrooms once and he's fucking off the rails, cunt! Basically, right now, all my neighbors can probably hear this because the doors were open, with the windows open. Thank you, Matt, for shutting the doors. I don't know how I feel about that. We went from our last house, our last house, everyone's fucking one meter away from each other and then fucking everyone else we had a neighbor that tried to fucking stab Marty. So I'm just trying to make it a little bit more chill in this neighborhood. No, you're trying to make it much more chill than the old neighborhood. That's what you're doing. Much more chill. Yeah, which is fine. I guess. Okay. So we'll come to a happy medium. We will half liquid nails. Why don't you just put a sign on it? Blank it on it when you're in your street and then you can take the blanket off the top. As I'm driving. Because I seriously think someone has to do that sign. No, no, no. Okay, how about we do this? We judge the feeling we have in our gut and the suburb. Okay. So we park the car. We know it's fucking the valley. It's Tuesday in the valley. You take it off. If you're in New Farm or New Market, sorry, Gasworks, very posh shops, those, we'll leave it on. We even got some, we got numbers that day. What about the people listening now know that you can remove the sign? Yeah, you've destroyed everything. So, oh yeah. Yeah, we'll probably cut it. Michael, so let's liquid nails it on. All right? Yeah. The sign is settled. It's settled, liquid nails. As soon as this podcast is done, we'll liquid nails that thing down. We've got to do the bindings first. Don't even bother touching it because we've got fucking CCTV footage all around the car. We do actually have that. Yeah, they're inside the five cent coin. Don't even bother trying. We can see it right now. Like seriously, I can see the car from here. We can. The next segment is called The Haunt. And this is a segment where we try and achieve a goal week by week by week. Every week we try and achieve said goal in a different way until we achieve the goal. Now, it's sort of based around hunting for someone. And you know, we've had a sneaking suspicion. You guys, especially our Australian fans, you know who Hamish and Andy are, right? Everyone knows who fucking Hamish and Andy are. If you're not from Australia, look them up. Everyone always says, oh, you guys are like the Wish version of Hamish and Andy. Don't they? They always say, oh, you guys like the fucking Wish version. You know, Wish. It's quite an insult. Oh yeah. But I get it, okay? They're very, very good. But then I started thinking, are they too good? And I set Michael out with a task of finding out what they are. And we both do it. And when they are. And Michael comes back to me and says, look man, no one we know has ever seen them. I did say that. Right? He said that to me. And I said, well, hang on. Come to think of it. Hang on. Here we go. I haven't ever seen them either. And guess what? Neither has Michael or Matt, okay? Which leads us to believe we sat down. We did, got the algorithms out. We had a whiteboard. We had like a calculator and a fucking sand timer doing this. Like that. Yeah. All over and over. The whole time. And we concluded that Hamish and Andy may not be real people. And like. Do you know what I mean? Matt, are you following? You've been seeing the technology we have. It's crazy. You see holograms and shit. It looks like the real thing. They made a hologram of Tupac. I feel like years ago, like 10 years ago and made it look like he was performing on stage. Who knows if Tupac was even real? 10 years ago. So imagine now. So what we're saying is right, we have the technology to create these funny characters and we don't even know if they're fucking real. Do we, Matt? No. Do we? So we thought we need to prove or disprove our theory. We need to figure out if they're fucking real people or if they are fucking holograms created by Roe McManus. So this is what we've going. This is our goal. This is our plan on the hunt. We're going to send them two T-shirts and that's gonna say we are real people. We're gonna send them that to them. And if they put the T-shirt on and send us a video saying, hey guys, yes, we are real people. Whilst wearing the shirts, then we will believe that they are real people because holograms cannot wear shirts. It just falls straight off. And like straight down. Photo, they send us a photo maybe, but there's such thing as Photoshop. So we don't want a photo, we prefer a video. So you're probably all thinking, how do we go about doing this? How do we go about getting a fucking video from Hamish and Andy saying that they're real wearing our shirts? Well, I'll tell you how. All right, today we ordered the shirts. Okay, so they're coming. Today also we took the first step in contacting them. I've emailed Andy's personal Instagram account. Hamish's personal Instagram account and their main Instagram account. Hamish and Andy. All right, so I messaged this to Hamish. He hasn't seen it yet. Hey Hamish, we're Marty and Michael and we're a comedy duo from Brisbane. We often get referred to as the wish version of Hamish and Andy by our audience. We have come to realise that we don't even think you guys are real people and are in fact holograms. No one we know has ever even seen you guys in real life and come to think of it, we have never seen you guys in real life either. If we send you a shirt with the text, we are real on it, would you be willing to wear it and send us a video of you guys confirming that you are in fact real people? Holograms cannot wear shirts which would prove your existence. No reply to this will add further speculation that you are both in fact holograms invented by Roeve McManus. Do you understand what I'm saying? This has been The Hunt. That was good. That's a great introduction to that part of the show. You might have a case here because if you look up their bio, it says they're radio hosts. They're... Siri could be a radio host. Yeah, they're television hosts. So I've already debunked that now. They're not radios. And it says they're television hosts. What? How can you fucking host a television cunt? You can't fucking... A TV sits in the lounge room. But it doesn't say they're real. Exactly, man. That's what I'm saying. So we may not be the wish version of Hamish and Andy. We may be. Hamish and fucking Andy. Holy shit, I didn't think about that. That's what I'm saying, man. You've got to climb the stairs. Oh, my God. You've got to climb the stairs of knowledge. You've got to climb the stairs. For the rest of the episode, you're Hamish. I'm Andy. And Matt is And. No, you can... Oh, he keeps rubbing his head. Oh, my ribs! Okay, back to reality. All right, Hamish, what's the next segment? And... It's questions. Oh, fucking questions! Questions, you dogs! If you want your question answered, comment your question on this video on YouTube. Even if you're listening on Spotify, sorry, I know you can't send in questions. Go to Marty, Michael, fully actual YouTube channel and comment your question there. And Matt will pick a few, okay? Matt will pick a few and we'll answer them the following week. Do you understand how it works? So we're going to answer questions from the season finale. Season finale from last year when we had ducks nons. So we're going to answer some questions there. Should we invite questions to be asked on the Instagram page as well? Yeah, they get lost a little bit, don't they? Yeah. Like, would you rather... Because it's better to just go to one. Like, would you rather go to both or just... It'd be easy to go to one, but I guess if they end up there, I'll pull them. Okay, yeah. If you want to... Everyone's got YouTube. Yeah, follow Marty, Michael, fully actual on Instagram. Send them that way. Matt does that. Oh, yeah, well, that's right. We've got the Instagram account. You can send them to that Instagram account. I can monitor that. Yeah, don't send them to Marty and Michael. Matt will be running that, guys. So feel free to send whatever you want to that account as well. You can send, like, yeah. Get fucked with it. No! No, wait, wait. Hang on. Hang on. This is the fully actual podcast Instagram. And I don't want anything of mine. Last time you said that, the world turned into a very dark, dark place. People said it's sending awesome fucked up videos. Stop. There were behemoths. We don't talk about it. So these are the questions coming in. All right. Question one. Why don't you guys buy an aircon unit and put it on the table for the next set? That is a wish that we did. Because it's too loud. A wish. Yeah. We tried to have the fan on. It's like... It's not too loud today. Yeah. It's getting cooler. I'm used to it because I live in this fucking oven. And yeah. I'm struggling. I'm fucking burning. Yeah. You've got aircon at yours. This came from a DOMA... Oh, I'm going to say this wrong. DOMA's Burles. Burles? No, that's exactly how you say it. Yeah. Three times. But the reason we don't have an aircon is because it would mess with our sound. And so the boys won't sound very well. And it's going to cool down eventually. So hopefully in a month's time it won't be a sweat dude. Oh, I can't wait to sweat, dude. The winter's going to be so hot. And we can cuddle up together. Oh, snuggly. Yes. Ben Jovova. Oh. Mm-hmm. Question number two from It's Cheesy. How does Jackson O'Dowey just roll in and look more professional than Marty and Michael on their own podcast? That's probably because we don't know what that means. Yeah, we don't really act that professionally either. Um, yeah, look, um, yeah, Jackson's like, he's a seasoned veteran, man. And we're fucking... Actually, I think I can answer this question. We actually asked him a fair few serious questions. I think I did as well. And so instead of being in a bit more of a comedic sense, he went a little bit serious with us. Jackson's coming home, by the way. He's fucking... So hot. He's in America right now. He's coming home. And we're going to do some videos together. So, yeah. Break that down, man. Break that down on your pants. Next question is from El Barro Torres. Um, if you could live on any planet where you could thrive and survive, what planet would it be? Earth? Good God. There's no fucking people to hang out with on Mars, man. So if it couldn't be Earth, where would it be? I'd probably go fucking... Michael would be on the Sun. A solar system with a planet like Earth. There's a few of them out there. There's plenty out there. Definitely. And I'd want like... Yeah, fuck it. I don't know. There are aliens. Like, fuck... There are fucking aliens everywhere. It's... We wholeheartedly believe this. And we're going to try and prove it this year. After we finish our series, we're going to go alien fucking hunting. You probably think I'm being sarcastic. Well, let me tell you something right now. There's some hotspots in Australia. They built pyramids. We are fucking finding them. Trust me. I've already seen one. But you guys didn't believe me. Whatever. Next question. Would either of you ever consider bringing your girlfriends on the podcast for an episode? Yeah, we've talked about it. I'd get fucking more on it. I don't know. I guess we could... She could come on for a quick interview and then we'd just ask her what it's like to be with me. I'm scared of her responses, though. Next question is from Daneem. Daneem. When are we going to see Shami and Jaden appear on the podcast? Tonight. We've asked them a few times. We haven't linked up. Yeah, they were going to come down. They're very busy boys. And it's only an hour and a bit away from each other. But like, just can't seem to fucking string it together. It's like, yeah, it's difficult because you come up. You do an hour podcast and you got to go back down. We had something planned properly up here, like a proper vid. But we normally go down to the Gold Coast when we film. They just had a massive increase in workload with opening up their... Yeah, they got their bar now. Yeah. So we're going to this Friday. Really? Yeah, fuck. We're going there this Friday. Oh, no, this Thursday. I think I said to Jaden. Yeah, this Thursday, midday. Fuck yeah, we're going to get heaps of footage this week. Matt? Next question. And? Next question is from Taylor Dow. When fans approach you in public, is there a certain pet peeve that happens commonly? What's that mean? So is there something that commonly happens all the time that's quite a noisy when people approach you in public? They've got their phone out. They want to ask for a photo, but they don't. So then you're sort of left having this conversation waiting for them to ask for the photo, but then they don't. So the conversation goes on for too long and there's awkward silences. And then you sort of have to say, okay, nice to meet you. If leaning for a kiss. And sometimes they're young, so it's awkward. Yeah, that. So if you see us, just come and get it. Just come and say hi, get a phone out. Straight up. No bloody worries. I'm never going to say no to you dogs. Tell them that. Yeah. And more, I guess this isn't fans, but it's like the awkwardness when you're in a room and pet your friends, like the group are talking about you and they want to come up, but they don't. So you're sort of like left there hearing the discussion about them coming up or trying to get a friend to come up. I'm looking at you. And then you're like just sort of left there awkward while you're waiting for your food or something. Oh. And that is the difference between Michael and myself. Did I hear that correctly on the episode? Jackson said he killed someone. Yeah. Yep. Jackson has in fact murdered like two people, I think. You can pay for it in Eastern Europe. Yeah. If you get, it's like, you know, in Thailand, you can get the rocket launchers and kill cows. Yeah, I've seen this. What's that movie called? Romania. In Eastern Europe, they have like a place. Hostel. Hostel. They find homeless people and they're taking them to the hostel. And yeah. No, you can get babes as well, dude. Like you put, yeah. Straight up like fucking tense. And kill them. You can do whatever you want. We think this is all unconfirmed, but just where we're thinking out loud here. But yeah, you can. Next question. Also from Taylor. Yes, Taylor. Yes. Put two in there. He's asking, how's he engaged on this podcast? So low, you boys are the best. We're slowly getting there. It takes time. And look, we got fucking manscaped on board this season. So it's getting there. And the difference between season one and season two, it was pretty big. So we're hoping this year will be like the, the year that the podcast fucking spreads and you guys just fucking say, Hey, have you heard about this podcast? This, this guy, these guys are like on it. Yeah, they're like Hamish and Andy. Yeah, they're like Hamish and Andy. Also, yeah, spread it around to your friends. Spread it like Corona. Yeah, if you just want to support us. But yeah, like, you know, it's, it's a slow grind. It's a podcast. It's not for everyone. And look at that. We built our fan base on quick three minute prank compilations. And now this is, now we're sitting here talking about fucking murder and fucking hot bitches and hostels count. So I got a question from Shannon Murray. It's more of a comment than a question, but she basically, basically saying that she suffers pretty bad from anxiety. And I see a lot of comments from, from people saying that the same thing and how they feel about it. But she summed it up pretty well. But she's basically saying that I'm watching you guys helps her get through a day pretty well. And I see that from a lot of people. So I think she fucking, she basically says thank you. That's what we do. We're fucking doctors. We're here to heal people. And that's why we're dipping our toe into the medical marijuana as well. Because the healing properties, let me tell you, they are beyond what humans previously thought to be possible. So just stay, stick around and we'll show you. We've actually got some weed facts on our Instagram for that as well. Yeah. Follow. Did we say that at the start? Yeah. And we'll also be selling some weed merch on this. Soon. So get on there, man. But yeah. Thank you. Any questions? Send them in. Thank you to that girl for leaving that lovely comment. It's what we do. What we do. It makes all worthwhile. Tell them, man. It does help. See. See. Can you fart again? Come on, man. You're out. You shouldn't have wasted it. He did one just before we started. I was so grumpy at him. It doesn't, it's not, it doesn't work like that. No. If you suck them back up, it, it soaks into my walls. Get behind your organs. And he's in my blood. And this comes out of my breath. Yeah. I have to push it out of the stink smell body up. Yeah. It kind of makes sense, doesn't it? Yeah, I get it. You know, if you rub garlic on the bottom of your foot, your breath smells. Bullshit. God damn it, Michael. That is the truth. Is it, Matt? I find out. Hmm. His and. Yeah. Yeah. Your and. And what is it? So cut maybe the big explanation, but it is possible. That's fucked up. Just cut here into that. Cut the big explanation, but it is possible. Just cut everything I said. That is fucked up. We got a next segment, man. It's a newie. It's German phrases. It's German phrases. Yes. Tracy. So one of our fans sent in like fucking, what are you having? You reckon there are a hundred? I think there's three. Oh, I don't know. There'll be a lot. A lot of German phrases. I'm going to read them out and explain what they mean. There's some of these are slang, so they won't translate literally. Just, yeah, you get it. I'll do what? Four? Four? You want me to do four? Yeah. Three is a good number. I'll go for that. I can do this all day. Fucking dogs love me. It's speaking in German. It's fucking weird. But all right. Here we go. The first phrase. Used by Germans. Typically used in arguments. And they disagreeing this one. Or when someone's annoying them. Do kiss me off in kicks. Do kiss me off in kicks. Which means which translates literally to you go me on the cookie. But it means you're getting on my nerves. Oh my God. Do kiss me off in kicks. What the fuck? You wanted this huh? You wanted this. Yeah, okay. But I can still be mad at it. What's cookie in German? Kicks. I finished the German phrase number two. Get ahead of yourself. That's past of kind of cool out. That's past of kind of cool out. Oh, what the fuck does that mean that fits on no cow skin? Jesus, which means slang for that's incredible bullshit See oh my god. He says that Yes, why do you fucking have gibberish as your word? German the the gibberish in English is the is the slang that they're saying, you know like fucking it's like It's like it's like a strange Okay, think about some of the sayings that that Aussies have yeah, yeah, okay, you've left fucking training cats and dogs Yeah, what the fuck man? Yeah, okay. Yep, okay, but the original whatever you fucking said Sounds ridiculous All right, the next one phrase number three Which means your English is one wall free Which means your English is pretty good I've already doesn't believe me one wall free is not even real Why does fucking Germany decided Michael Michael we call our best friends cunts Imagine what that's like to America translates to pussy your English is pretty good is your English is one wall free Dude, this is this is different The last one for this episode and comment if you think we should continue these we definitely this is the best day ever It's a little offensive. It's a little offensive. How much everyone is laughing at my native tongue Well, so anyway, I'll continue but just let me know if anyone else is offended Hurt my feelings Which means you are heavy in order, which means you are cool No, we're keeping these these are sacred these are sacred fucking scrolls You should just do a stand-up where you read out this God that is fucking Nikki. You have saved the day. This is the best entertainment ever It's just German phrases everyone and that's how you say them. That's how we all talk to each other. It's ridiculous Thank you. I can ridiculous. It's it's it's another language and it'd be nice if you respected that culture oh Anyway, let's move right along here. We've got two more segments left The first is you guys were busy sent us some shit during the holidays. We appreciate that so it's time for the All right, so we got sent this first was sent Last year from season two. We just didn't get it and waited for you Sorry if this letter is late. All right, so they are probably meant it to get to us for the season finale, but it didn't Let's see what it contains Shroud not know It's like a fuck it sounds like the orcs from all the rain. It's massive to my Aussie Cobbers allow me to introduce myself. I'm 21 from the UK. I have been enthusiastic devotee aka fan of your channel on YouTube for quite a long while ever since we first watched the how to stop your friend eating fast food video My voice hurts from that fucking German segment That's what fucking you get for German being German Of course you guys can't really emphasize the germ whenever you say I Know YouTube is that inspire you to create your own content. Yeah, we we loved law growing up. He doesn't really make pranks anymore We like fucking Fucking who do we fucking like Ross creations is a very good funny funny I just found this dude the other day called Danny Mullin Danny Mullin Very funny. It's nearly like Rodney Mullin your mate. Yeah, I like Rodney Mullin very good skater Yeah, just prank channels and fucking shit like that. Hey and lastly What advice would you give to others if they would like to start their own job or business? Don't fucking stop. Just keep going fucking don't you can't fail if you don't stop Just keep going until you get somewhere and if you and just know that you will Know that you will and you will if you have doubt you won't get there So just decide you're gonna get there and then do it What he said ham Thank you ham fucking L. Ham that is It's good shit. We're gonna leave this right here ham Tom thank you ham. You could that make some good papers for cigarettes No, we'll fucking I've got I keep all the letters. So whatever you send this stays in a box Shut your gun better. I reckon that was pretty good Oh He's passed out Oh Fuck you guys are sure this won't affect my future in any way Beautiful is it is it like CT like he's getting hits in the head all the time they get that brain damage No, he's doing that all the time. Is he getting colon damage? Yeah, you know my heart rate is like probably a hundred and twenty now I have to push so hard. Yeah, dude. I've seen your face Seriously, it's like it'll probably kill me one day Oh You burst a blood vessel if you're gonna send a shit we do prefer presents Christmas presents But oh, that was a lovely letter. This is exciting. It could be anything in there. It could be something very harmful Could be drugs Have a little super my ginger beer everyone not a brand deal. Oh my god, dude. It's a present Within a present Many presents within a present. It's a little box. There's a little Matthew really this one's to you. Yeah, I'll have that. I'm very humbled when I get something is a some open Fuck off boys. I need socks. I've got socks. They're cow socks I can't fuck these I can put these on my dick when I'm fucking the cows, dude. I can socks What socks I get pigs? Oh Pigs are not fine, huh? Thank you for I'm Matthew Gregory Brown from wholesome. He makes a lot of concrete. I'm gonna Open Julian's we got a letter here too. I'm gonna open Julian's cuz he's not here Julian got a little pack of skittles man. I can't read cursive Julian got a little pack of skittles. What'd you get Matt? I've got little sheeps. Oh Like a little sheep's a little toy. Oh socks as well Julian. I'm having your present later when I'm stoned Well, very nice. Wow. Hey, my favorite legends. I just want to say how thankful I am for you guys and your content You make me laugh so much and it makes all of my days better all of us in 2021 all the way from Estonia Estonia no Well the socks are made in Slovakia It's Slovakia. Oh, that's fucking hell and her Instagram is at the underscore juicy fruit Didn't she ask some questions? Not juicy fruit. No at the underscore juicy fruit if you want to say thank you on our behalf Thank you very much Is that what you guys should do these letter? Oh, sorry should you um should you have? Marty and Michael Pitches of your heads on them. We're gonna start our clothes line later this year and we're thinking about um, just having like fucking Like if some of the shirts right with like just swears on I'm like dumb cunt So if you're a dumb cunt you can buy it or if you know dumb cunt you can buy one Oh, don't touch me that you can also put other swears on there like Fuck bitch fight bitch. They are odd Yeah Fucked bitch would be a good one wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah, we'll think about it. All right, which brings us to our final segment. Oh shit The prank call. I don't know how this is gonna go guys. Okay. Now. I'm going to call a real estate agent as Arnold fun and I'm going to start inquiring about houses to buy I Don't really know where this is gonna go. I don't know what we're doing But I'm going to I don't know if this will continue either I might try and think of something else if this doesn't work very well. No one knows anything. We're all in this together Just have fun. Yeah, let's all just have fun with it And you know what like just be open-minded because gay people are people too Oh, hello, Ned and my name Arnold fine I find your number on the Google I Looking to buy house. I leave North Brisbane renting at the moment and I'm looking to buy house over the next Maybe two three month Hello, sorry. Yeah, sorry. Where are you looking to buy house? Sorry North North Brisbane area and up North Brisbane Maybe how you say us play you write that down as clear charm side. Maybe maybe a little further. Maybe And yeah, I need a house with Land I have a Small small pig collection. I breed pig. Okay. I need a little land and And then maybe I don't know how big maybe a one half soccer field sized lands maybe for my peak and Yeah, North Brisbane there No, no, not a not a pig from I look for house with with land to turn into What if I what if I leave the pig Current property and I move my wife and myself into a new house and Oh Do you reckon in you no one sounds that fucked Was that too fuck-sounding? No with this. Oh the current my car in the house. I'm pretty fucked Look, we're running very late. So we can't redo this prank call, but just know They'll get better that that man He started a war there with our phone because that that that is not that is not on and and I will be speaking to his superiors I Know where he works So watch this space because I'm gonna get that guy fired. He sounded lovely He hung up on me man He did he had a kid in the background. He was trying to fucking feed trying to breastfeed his kid Yeah, okay. He is a fucking creep. No, look Yeah Yeah, look, there's hidden misses and we're fucking we got to go play talk up Look the prank call. Don't worry. Okay. I'm gonna it's gonna get crazy. So just get ready Arnold fine will return and he will Have his vengeance get a house All right Anyway, fucking tell your neighbors tell your friends. Tell your dad tell your uncle. We're back Watch come back next week. This is gonna be the shit. This is the season that we make it boys This is the fucking season and you know why Matthew, huh? Why because we are the best