 lovely people welcome this is UNFINISHED the only place so we get to finish UNFINISHED matters I am your host SK GITONGA do not forget to follow me in all my social media platforms today's topic is a very interesting one and I know a lot of y'all have a lot of interesting comments so do not forget also engage us on our comment section at Y to 5 for hashtag UNFINISHED today we're talking about men and societal pressure from what has been happening for the last couple of days we have seen men go beyond their limits trying to feed their families on to our first question do you think society places a lot of pressure on men to a point that they participate in illegal activities trying to feed their families let me know what you think I have a lot of pressure from society like me something is what happened that we expect in a in a we're not going to delete into it like your pressure and come through we're not going to be using it as a corner according to me I keep on trying to squeeze the society you know and like you know who's it I mean you call it like you know but I'm say as if I'm a kid to society Mouss so like come from size mimi minutes a corner familiar come on support for me then you know pick up a point mambou in and I come from a check and I'm not a patel a contribution you can a parent or family a and I can't say I'm a society so not so nice is my boys would ask you a society in a similar at your home says do squeeze them as a partner in a So in a bid to push and find anything to make sure, like, the more proof you have, the more you can provide your family. Yeah. Yes, I think so. Top point. Because right now, when you look at the society, it comes with a lot of pressures. And in most cases, the pressures are oriented towards the males. So for example, I think the males have a lot of pressure towards the society. Yes and no. Yes depends on a lot of factors. Maybe in some areas, there are places where men have been pushed to engage in illegal activities. And maybe places, maybe the down town slums, I think those are places where crime is quite high. Because also, so she at all pressures. But also, no, because it depends on individuals. It depends on individuals. If your values are, you have to work hard to, you know, engaging in crime is something bad. If your values are not for that, then the pressure will not get to you to engage in illegal activities. But if you're a person whose values can be easily be twisted, then you might engage in that. Yeah, to me, I think, yes, they have. Yeah, there's too much pressure on their side. So for me, yeah, it's true. Yeah, they have pushed. Yes, to an extent. I feel like men have gotten to a point where they have, they think that the only value is what they provide. And it has been said so many times and to the point that it feels like it's the truth. To an extent, it is the truth. But it gets worse with the current social landscape. Men who are forced to actually, you're being told that you ain't anything if you don't have money. And people are saying it is like a small substrate of people on social media. And what you see on social media probably makes you think that's how the world is. And the so-called society is just like a small, minor, vocal majority, a vocal minority. And people think that, ah, yes, so if I cannot provide for my family, using legal means, the ones that I have tried and all these things to just provide a soft life wherever I want to. So, yeah, kind of. Exactly. So, society, it has pushed men to some extent. Because we can get a family, we get a current tree in Kenya. We have children in the same country. And we take a stretch in the case of the country. Many families have said that they will not be able to raise their children and their parents. That's there. In the side, you can say that they are engaged in their activities going crazy because they don't have to implement the economy of the current tree in our country. Society, it has pushed men to some extent to go into illegal activities. But what I believe is that it's the economic situation in the country. And then that's together with societal pressure. Pushers meant to do things that they would otherwise not do if they were in a good financial position. Yeah, so in part, yes, it has. Yes. Most of the time, the men, as in, need a responsibility for men to take care of the family. So, we don't have to do anything just to take care of the family because recently there was a video of a man who was broken. Will I realize? Let me say, his wife was the other man because of the money. The reason is that he didn't provide enough money. But he was involved in some activities. Such as Semetulika, which is in Kweeba, Pighamtu, Nyongolo. He was also engaged in those activities to provide for the family. Yet, it was not enough. And that's why this lady went to another rich man, Kisiri Siri, Chinyamaji, of which it's not good by the way. And this pressure, this lady went to Kweeba because of the money, big things, when I say I'm going to push this man as he's going to engage in illegal activities. So, I've supported my answer, which is yes. Yeah, sure. Society must be able to push Sisi Kama men to do illegal stuff to provide our families. Most of the guys, when they're in crime, they're doing it to impress maybe their wives, their girlfriend, and the rest. So, most cases, due to the pressure that I've come, I've created a vacuum here. When I end up to have tears in their families, because my children are going to school, my children are going to school, my wife is going to school. So, I think they have to go to an extent where they can provide for the family. Even the economy can provide jobs. So, I think they have to go to wash wash and go to a place like this. Just maybe to impress their girlfriend and provide for the family. Yes. Like, I'm going to engage in prostitution. I'm going to be a burden to my father. I'm going to provide for the family because men, men, they're going to come mostly in financial things, like providing for the family. Personally, I feel like the society does give men a lot of pressure because we have grown up knowing that men should be natural providers and we expect them to, you know, take care of the major bills in their house. But, you see, that does not mean that the girlfriend or the wife should not also contribute. And also, you guys make these people want to do things that they're not supposed to do. Because if you know men very well, a few of men like to speak out for some reason. So, you see, they find out they have no one to turn to and they end up doing things like stealing and all sorts of illegal things just to put food on the table. So, please, Magaldem Taftecazi, get some money to support your boyfriend. On to our second question. Do you think a woman should come out and claim that she is the provider of the family when the man isn't able to? Keep us engaged on our social media platforms at Y254. Well, for a woman to come out and claim that she's the provider or say that she's the provider, I think that sort of bruises the pride of a man because a man, especially in the African setup, is known to be the provider of their home. So, for a woman to come out and say that, then that reduces their ego and it'll hurt them. So, I don't think a woman should come out. You should just be there supporting your husband. Behind the scenes, let's not everyone know about it. Let's you and the family know about it. I'm conflicted there. I don't think it's wrong and I also don't think you should be airing out your private business to people. It's not wrong, but it's also not right because it's what is underneath why you're saying it. If you're saying it to make the man feel less of who he is, you're probably not in the relationship for the right reasons. But, if you're doing it just to help him, if he's declared bankruptcy and people are like, oh my God, now how will the kids leave and stuff and then she's like, no, I still will provide. That's probably to save him from all that. Let's just think people are unique in whatever relationships they have and it calls for wisdom on when to or not to say I've not been faced with that situation but I think that it's just not the best thing to just I provide everything in this you're probably doing it for the wrong reasons when you get to that point or you're just frustrated. Okay, I don't think that is necessary. No, it isn't because the other there's nothing like that profiled to the the come on I'm for them to make the happy. Women are not to provide enough food for their children to enjoy, but the purpose is clear that this is the company of the man. This is a resume of that generation, it will end up one-to-one, two-by-two. That's a hard question for me as a man, but I think it will depend on the situation. But generally, I feel I'll be honest, I know it's not okay, personally, I feel it's not okay. As a man, you should do all you can to make sure you provide for your family. But also, you know, things may not go well every time. So, yeah, the woman can ship in once in a while to cover up, but for a man, you have to stand up and do what you have to do to provide for your family. No, to my opinion, I think that a woman should not come out and say that she has been providing for the man since the man. Yeah, the man is the head of the house, but the woman, like, no, it's not okay according to me. Yeah, there's some instance that I feel it's not okay because life has many dynamics. Maybe the man is sick, maybe the man has a footwork job, maybe there's a financial crisis, like, you know, you're not allowed to go out and crash. So, come on, you're married. So, I think as a man, as a lady, a lady should step in for a while, but if I could cast her, because she's the hero of the man. Because when a woman provides for you for a long time, she's going to give you a ride. So, I think that if you provide her, she'll remind you that you're not allowed to go out and say, I paid your rent, you're not allowed to go out and crash. So, I think the society may to make a way that even the ladies or the women, like, they're entitled to receive from men, but not men to receive from them. So, it can be for long. It may be okay, depending on the contribution in your letter to your family. Family is not really. Couples, I mean, man and woman. They're the ones who supported the beauty of man and woman. So, the contribution in your letter to your family and in your letter to me, how many letters do you have in your letter to your family? From 50 to 50, you can say I have 50, APL has 50, but if I were to go to China, I'd say 30 to 70, but if I go to China, as long as I have an understanding of my letter to you. Yeah, evil. No, it's not okay. It's not right. Because when you're in the couple marriage, you're in marriage, that time maybe the man lacks, so a woman can top up, yes. So, it's something like, you help each other. So, you're not supposed to complain. So, when you're in, when you enter in the marriage, you should just, like, know, when the man lacks, it's the woman to top up. Yeah, so the woman's not complaining. I can say, yes, it's possible for a woman to claim she's the provider, because when she provides, as in an act on both roles, of a man and of a woman, now the role of a man is to provide for the family, yes. And for the lady, or a woman, yes, a work is somehow to support the man to provide for the family, but I can say that when the woman takes that role, it's, I could say that she's the provider of the family, yes. Because a man, you can get, yeah. That means that a woman, you can exist, let me say that. It's like the man does not exist. So the woman is allowed. Yeah, I think that is something she's entitled to say when she feels like it. Yeah, but I don't think that it is necessary for her to state that out. Yeah, it's not a necessity to state that out, but when she feels like she truly needs to say that out well and good, not an overposing opinion. In my opinion, I feel like it's allowed, but I also feel like it's totally unnecessary because it's also very important for you to protect your man's ego. If you did this out of love, I don't see why you should be complaining. And then another thing is your love to each other in public. I don't see why when things go more lama, it's just not to be aired out in public. Let's take a short break. We'll be back with two more questions.