 Welcome to church of the chair where we celebrate all the things we do while seated. I'm your host E and today We're doing 30 minute writing sprints starting now. I'm gonna jump right into it Allow people time to get in go ahead and chat ask any questions talk about whatever you want to Over there or down there. I'm not sure where it is for you. But anyways, we're gonna just started Morning Lee, how you doing need some coffee go get yourself some some bean juice So profit top of the morning to you. Hey, Derek. How you doing? Hey, Jay, right? One of my king. Oh cool. Are you going by Viking over there neon Viking? I'm gonna take my break here in about eight minutes and when I come back we'll chat If y'all would like to hang around and there's a seven minutes now But uh, once I get back, we'll talk about 15 minutes and then I'll get back to work I'm hoping to break 5,000 words on the new project today Been going really slow about 500 to a thousand words a day, but they are good words Good words. Just call me good word Move empty coffee cup. Hey, but at least you got time spent with your son, Craig I'm assuming that's why you didn't get any writing then These are both good things and I'm sure you agree. Don't get me wrong. How's Pam by the way? Sorry, my carpet tunnelers is working is acting up awesome I'm glad to hear that When I'm Brian, how you doing? Yeah, I'm doing fine. Just working. You know how we do Got about two minutes left and then I'm gonna go on break come back talk to y'all for about 15 minutes and then uh I Don't get back to work. Oh, I'm stiff today brother stiff today. What the fuck called when Tolerance, that's right I'm gonna get this thought out and then I'll go and break I'm gonna go and break when I come back. We will chit chat for 15 minutes or so and then we'll get back to work Take it sleazy Hello, blue yeti Bleb-bleb bleb-bleb-bleh blue yeti two people's in here Seven times 15 minutes y'all have my attention until then I'm going to read over what I wrote While y'all think of something to talk about oh As in spooky noodles, or your name just Nick There's another Nick that comes in by the name of spooky noodles Hello, Ty. Happy Trans day of visibility Look into my blood work and trying to figure out what it all means it can be confusing I might be able to help you out I don't know if you want to say it publicly but you can message me on discord or whatever I'm pretty well versed in all that nonsense also if I can't answer it my niece is a laboratory manager like traveling lab technician just kind of versed in all that stuff so if you have any questions I can get you answers if I don't have them ah okay so it was Nick how you doing Nick I wasn't sure if you were a different Nick or there's a lot of nicks in the world buddy Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick patty smack Nick Nick patty whack give oh Nick a bone oh yeah all the time Viking but uh if it's if it's needed I just shut the fuck up and right um you have to there's something to be said for being able to go to that place and being able to come back from it as long as you can come back from it that's the important thing just know that this is a temporary sojourn not a permanent destination you know what I mean just don't end up like Heath Ledger and so many other people who went dark and never never found the light again but yeah I do it all the time with stuff I write and it is hard to get out of but gotta do what you gotta do the good part about it if there is a silver lining is if you're upsetting yourself that's good because you're gonna upset other people in a good way I'll put in my blood work PDF and discord and tag you thank you thank you tie I will check it out on my next break get back to you as soon as possible you're welcome anytime I am so confused I so I can't find a a concrete answer on how to write an American word is telling me it's all one word with no hyphen and a lowercase a Google is telling me it's un hyphen capital a American yet Miriam Webster's I believe it was or maybe it was dictionary.com I can't remember one of the dictionary says it is UN capital a me you know American whatever without the hyphen I am so confused so I'm just going with word right now because I found if you send stuff to editors and word underlines it as an error they are more apt to fix it even if it doesn't mean fixing so I'm doing what makes word happy yeah I can't find a I can't find a single site that agrees with the other one I guess I've never had to type that yeah the line is as simple as he thinks there's nothing more un-American than censorship damn it Nick whether you meant that as like a dad joke or not that was it made me chuckle thanks for that now I'm hungry yeah yeah I want to read you something real quick I'm going over what we still got a couple minutes we got like six and a half minutes but I want to read you something that I wrote that I am highly disturbed by and it's not that it's like gory or disgusting in that note but it just came to me the the character that one of the characters that I'm writing dreams dreams all the time has very absurd dreams and the dreams are based on my own dreams so the other night I had this dream and this like abstract poem popped into my head but it's also upset it's it's sexually absurd and I wanted to read it to you guys let me catch up here and I'll do that okay so let me read you this idiocy okay he dreams of absurdities hey mr. I'm a sister fister I'd fist your sister quicker than I'd kiss her mixer I'm a semen demon steam cleaning your being daydreaming about reaming been seen wrecking rectums and erectory munching in your effectory respectfully of course fuck man but as his character that's this character sure I probably say it better this time hey mr. I'm a sister fister I'd fist your sister quicker than I'd kiss her mixer I'm a semen demon steam cleaning your being daydreaming and reaming been seen wrecking rectums and erectory munching in your refractory respectfully of course respectfully of course sensational if you get that reference we we're we're friends not that we're we aren't already friends but yeah respectfully of course sensational space milky way for blood evolution in my hand I'm gonna call away oh it is it is bill payday and I have 19 19 emails from all my bills and cards and everything else you paid it thank you for your pet things right there's a it feels good these days to be able to make payments it really really does I remember days where I had to choose between rent and food man that shit was no fun I had days when I didn't even know if I was gonna eat and didn't have roof over my head sure beats being homeless that's for damn sure but slow building slow building success has never come all in all at once for me I've been homeless twice I've lost everything I've owned multiple times thank you tie hi it's time to get back to work y'all see look at this y'all see this that's my cat you see the little teeth marks demon got very very aggressively loving and she was laying on my chest and petting my beard or this this puke thing I got growing on my face running her claws through but she does it all the time running her claws through just petting me as I pet her right so she goes in starts licking my forehead and I'm trying to I got the book over here and I'm trying to read and she's licking my forehead and then all of a sudden chomp just two teeth right here teeth teeth to to what we do for love what we do for love little bastard yeah she does it all the time though she's very aggressively loving she will headbutt you at heart like someone punches you that's why I call her demon not because I don't love her but because she acts like a fucking demon she's so violent yep violent love that is demon my cat was like that but as soon as I said how you immediately stop yeah demon does too I shall make biscuits on my chest or my belly meat or wherever she's laying and she'll but I'll say ow and she'll retract or if if I don't say anything I usually like pat her claws and she'll retract them but same here I mean the teeth were already in my forehead they were already locked in place before I said ow and then she came back I swear to God if anything ever happened to me and there was no one else around that cat would eat me have a meal for the next three months I swear she's like I love you let me devour you fat man that's what she calls me well that's what she calls me in my head anyways and I call her chonk rap supreme sometimes let me type that out because it's funny I also call her OB shitty because I call cat shitties so yes be my chonk rap supreme I'm her fat man she is my OB shitty I am her biscuit making table I love that damn cat I love that cat to death she's getting older and every day I'm like don't you dare don't you dare not leave me I will dig you up and go to a pet cemetery I swear to God I'll be Lewis Creed in this bitch my I'm from out of space I got Milky Way for blood evolution in my veins feel like that was my dog he's getting old yeah I mean you know it's eventually coming we do this shit to ourselves over and over and over again Haley just went through it we we pour all of our heart and soul and love and everything into these temporary things and it hurts but we move on and we grow and learn and we fall for another one because we're glutton's for punishment alright 30 minutes on the clock let's do another writing spring I'm not really sprinting I'm kind of more like lurching along at this point but I'm enjoying myself and that's all that matters leave me alone I'm also trying to show people that you can write multiple different ways you know you can be fast and speedy or you can be slow and steady it's see what was that noise like one of those slide whistles cats yes yes yeah that noise was an American speed doesn't matter just as long as you're doing it that can be used for a lot of things maybe the speed does matter for us anyways let's let's get back to writing you're fine time I'm gonna turn out this air that's I think that's a great line but Jesus Christ makes my eyes hurt and he staggers down the hall eyes chunky with sleep and it puts you right there you get the eye boogers and everything without saying I boogers it's it's great but I got the duck quack bottle back hey Alec how you doing it is going fantastically my friend how are you doing good that's good that's good fantastic I'm doing really good I had my blood drained they literally drained a liter of blood off of me a few days ago and I have felt exceptional ever since so supposedly my heart was working too hard because my blood was too thick my hematocrit was 56 percent and they said Howard the water bottle Howard the bottle anyways so they took off a bunch a whole liter I posted the pick up on discord they did that and it was so thick they couldn't even use it for donation so they just had to chuck it in the biohazard been but yeah ever since then I've been feeling like a whole new person oh new person now it's not bad enough for blood thinners but it is bad enough that they needed it they need to give me an oil change basically thanks Ty acupuncture yeah about a decade ago for my back in my stress level I had middling results yeah I'm gonna be they're gonna be draining a liter of blood from me every month until they figure out what's causing it I used to write for for about nine years I believe it was a little less than nine years I wrote longhand everything I read I wrote several novels short stories probably 30 40 short stories longhand probably about 10 novels longhand one of them ended up being 660 pages when it was published but yeah the very last thing I published under the old name was written longhand and after that I went back to doing I went back to working on the computer so for two reasons first so I could do these streams and another reason is just because I had less and less time so yeah I used to write nine years I did almost nine years yeah I do I do my notes on my work my not my word app my notes app on my phone longest thing ever in longhand my novella and 600 pages yeah it was something like 1300 pages I had these 75 page notebooks and I mean the stack of them was like this big when I got done but yeah so it's a pain in the ass to keep up with but yeah I do it I did it that's another reason why I started writing longhand again Viking is because I and it didn't get any better so you know that was a that was a waste but it also helped my word choice like I had to edit far less when I wrote longhand because I had to be methodical and think about my words because I'm also OCD and I hate wasting paper so if I wrote something the wrong way I would literally rip the page out and start all over again so that the page would look nice but I had I had to kick that because that was a wasteful ass having thank you to hand back his checks because they couldn't read them and my mother was like that but she was a nurse so she wrote in that doctor scratch I'm having a great day John thank you all right John wants to know do you ever feel that while you write a certain one of your books it will have more importance than others or do you see all equally yeah I mean I think it's normal to think while you're writing that this one is the one or that this one is better or more important or holds more weight than the other ones but also a thing to remember with me is I do job or work to so j o bb er and what I mean by that is like I'm not writing ghost writing and you know writing under pin names so I do I write a lot of stuff that I'm not putting my full heart into because it's not my work so yeah there's also that not everything I work on is going to be important to me but it might be important to someone else another thing that I find interesting is I never know what people are going to quote like there's a there's a line in one of the old books that says he smiled like a man getting a hand job from a shake weight enthusiast and that was the most quoted line on Goodreads from any of my works and I just thought it was a one-off sentence I thought it was funny of course that's why I left it in there but yeah anyways so definitely when I'm when I'm working I definitely have the feeling that something is you know this is better than my last one or this is the best book I've written in years or so on and so forth happens to me all the time if I write in cursive it looks significantly better I do a bastardized version of cursive and not cursive like I'll I'll still sweep my letters together so it's just easier I don't have to take my pen off it yeah it does make you more methodical it's why I write with pencils as opposed to pens I can't stand pencils man because I the erasing makes this ruins the page aesthetically for me I recently got an old fashioned fountain pen and I'm curious to see how it changes my word flow word choice workflow and word choice got you I hope if I become a famous author people will look at my bad handwriting as a treasure it might happen who knows to me witty analogies like your shake weight and job are way more impressive than five syllable words someone found from a thesaurus Stephen King said in a lot of other authors say this there's no reason to use a five dollar word when a 50 cent word will do no reason for it if you're all you're trying to do is convey a message and be clear with that message it's always about clarity and as long as your words invoke what you want them to evoke whatever um yeah grant eloquence is magnificent dammit viking hell the road to hell the road to hell is paid with adverbs yes but he uses them too so it's just you don't want to you don't want to have every single line have an adverb in it he looked at her lascivious Lee she looked back at him tentatively you know that just it's just bad writing and that's that's all that is but if you can really you can really drive home a point with one adverb instead of an entire sentence of you know of description do you have any examples where an author became well known for work of theirs they weren't particularly fond of Clyde Barker's pinhead I know more bands who are who are grateful of certain songs then I do authors that are regretful for certain books and my mom and I always joke about Stephen King's adverbs yeah do as I say not as I do but you have to use adverbs sometimes the none of these rules are 100% the important thing is and crutch words are even fine and what I mean by that is as long as there's a flow as long as you're dancing to a rhythm when you're writing use use whatever words you want as long as there's a rhythm to it but if you get into a thing with the rhythms always the same and the rhythms never changing then you're going to bore people to death like I like I just said you know he smiled at her lasciviously she looked back at him tentatively they drove down the road laboriously you know that's that that that is bad writing huh I full 65 I gotta get back to work y'all got eight minutes and then I can go on break and we can come back and fuck around I'm almost a five thousand words I mean I could stop anytime but anyways I already got my I already got I already have a thousand words down is what I'm getting it I'm not really shooting for word count don't get me wrong it's just a good day anytime I hit a thousand well that's a fucking lie okay normally I can write like four to five thousand words a day but I'm I'm specifically focused on the verbiage the word use the structure the syntax all that stuff in this book it is all about the pretty languages the pretty words so I'm taking my time with it anyone doing pitch contests on Twitter now I'm not I don't even have a Twitter anymore have you listened to piano riffs it's on another level cool cool they had a song yeah I know oh yeah I've heard it oh yeah I'm sure all of us have heard it in fact someone just sampled it with a song that goes something yeah I'm I have the best fucking night of my life yeah I'm good yeah I'm feeling alright I have the best fucking night of my life anyways I don't know who did it but someone just sampled it very very recently it's been all over the radio and of course they say freak I'm gonna have the best freaking night of my life oh that's cool I didn't know that hi John have fun get your words in definitely have a good day alright I'm gonna take my break when I come back we can chit chat for about 15 minutes I might write some more I might not I don't know I don't have any new books to show you so we can hang out if you want to I think I'm done for the day I only got 4500 words so far I wanted to get to 5000 but I don't want to push anything and I want to leave something for next time so yeah uh any who I'll be back in 10 y'all y'all chat a month something fell excuse me I don't know that I've ever shown these oh how's everyone today are we all worshiping the mighty chair you are you are you are so uh buddy of mine sends me books all the time um he's a big collector and he sends out his collection sends me just the most random stuff right so there's these picador picador whatever modern classics these things are itty bitty this is my hand it can the whole thing can fit in my hand but I have the hours by Michael Cunningham and I have housekeeping by Marilyn Robinson I have seen the movie the hours I think it has Nicole Kidman in it and I need to look if it was directed by I've not read the book but uh I am shocked that is based on a book by man oh it's about Virginia Woolf I had no idea director it was directed by a dude too screenplay by a dude what what he might have it might say so in here I'm not sure yet the Pulitzer prize winning novel from the author of by nightfall passionate profound and deeply moving the hours is the story of three women Clarissa Vaughn who one New York morning goes about planning a party in honor of a beloved friend Laura Brown who in a 1950s Los Angeles suburb slowly begins to feel the constraints of a perfect family and home and Virginia Woolf recuperating with her husband in a London suburb and beginning to write Mrs. Dalloway by the end of the novel the stories have intertwined and finally come together in an act of subtle and haunting grace demonstrating Michael Cunningham's deep empathy for his characters as well as the extraordinary resonance of his prose Publishers note for a quarter century Picador has been producing beautifully packaged literary fiction and nonfiction books from our offices in New York our modern classics line pairs iconic books with a bold elegant design that's both small enough to fit in your pocket and unique enough to stand out on your bookshelf this is what they look like on the bookshelf I don't think they stand out I think they're rather boring but hey to each their own correct them under correct them under what's up writer guy you can call me each head hope you're doing well I'm doing fine man how you doing I'm about to start your book next week I'm reading yours and Victor Laval's new one Loan Women I got you're sitting right here pride of place and this one I'm gonna read them both together because they are vastly different concepts what's up writer guy save a copy to this PC then email it to my son I know I know I know I know I gotta close it out before I can send it boom sent upon you my nostril meat itches anyway so all my friends are in West Virginia Williamsburg anyways they're all at author con to and I has the sadness in my heart Todd Keasling Darren Kapoff even Wayne Finland Jen Bernardini they're all there and I am here you're welcome to so just me and you Chad were the only Lord Laurel high tower all of them were the only ones were the only ones sad panda no I'm getting a waddle lost oh Lord don't do that author con to electric boogaloo yep I got lucky with the blood evolution in my veins never been doing to author con been to plenty of comic cons though hey Nick are you still here paging Nick spooky noodles are you in a are you in Williamsburg I hate finding talented people on YouTube or tiktok or whatever and them not checking their messages is like you you're missing opportunities if you don't check your messages like I understand why especially the person that I messaged yesterday I get it but you're missing out brother you're missing out so what you have to Chad that's probably fun Viking yeah bummer I think Chad's behind on the chat I can imagine yeah any of those cons like dragon con any fan con is it's just a good time all around as long as no one starts any drama Nathan Ballinger has a new novel out and I'm wondering if I need to pull the trigger on it it's called the strange it's a tribute to Bradbury's the Martian Chronicles along with the harder realities of frontier life akin to true grit sounds very cool case y'all are interesting this is interested this is the book I'm talking about just came out 10 days ago cover looks cool yeah I like the the planets and the diner and all that stuff kind of reminds me of the Chad's new book scooby-dooby bow dooby-dooby-dooby bow yeah I got it right here I also have an ARC in the house welcome back Lee it takes a while to get going but like the the opening 1012 I can't remember when it happens but there is a scene in there that is absolutely horrifying and terrifying to me Mediana Enriquez does a fantastic job at subtle quiet horror and this one is loaded with it the British cover of strangers by Dean Coons thank you for the link I'm surprised it showed the link oh yes it looks exactly like it holy shit this different just a different tonal quality but yeah problems can't stay long I'm about to go anyways Lee I don't have much to talk about and I'm done working for the day I might work a little bit later but yeah it won't be much if I do they have been saying this is just I am taking my time with this book it's taking me two weeks to write 4500 words because I'm so because I like the pretty languages I want to do something with pretty languages that's not a but it's pretty language in the style of SOH so Chad you're probably going to be interested in it when it comes out and I'll definitely send you a link when it when it drops but I should probably put my my collection of it novels somewhere around here you can't see my mouse but somewhere where you guys can actually see them right now it's over well over on that side slow progress is still progress and running laps around those standing still I tell myself that when I'm going slow exactly exactly you can't fix what doesn't exist and slow is as good as fast don't worry it takes me weeks to try to the 3000 words and that's completely fine Lee I'm not worried about it and I'm not worried about you you will get things done what what happened what how how is beaver cleaver's or cleaver beaver is going I'm not sure which one yours is called hey speaking speak of the devil it's Tony about to say Tony's right in one and you wrote one you're still editing your middle grade novel cool my progress is sometimes crazy fast and sometimes small snail slow yeah so slow progress is progress yeah spent the morning emailing Amazon with list of categories for the children's book ended up springing for publishers rocket okay okay and lazy home body was in here yesterday saying they couldn't believe that you wrote a children's book they she thought it was a joke cleaver beaver is marinating awesome I said guys if you write the beaver stories I will do an anthology I'll publish an anthology I'll pay for everything I'll take care of the formatting the covers everything that you need and then all proceeds will go to you guys you'll just split it I won't make a penny I forgot how long it took me to write my killer clown story 23k maybe a month or two I think it was like two months I'm trying to get it done just got a break from medical school look at you about to become a doctor a call it leave it to beaver you write one called leave it to beavers I'd love to do that well I'm the offer stands indefinitely whenever you guys decide that you want to turn it in we'll collect them all and we'll get it out there please oh I will Chad because I'm really proud of this one and I was proud of SOH too but yeah so my problem is starting not once I get started yeah what was it Stephen King said there's nothing scarier than a blank page I'll probably even have a Haley designed the cover who knows man we can talk that new dude into doing an animation of one of the one of the stories like one of the shorter ones James Dow he came in yesterday his animation is really really fucking cool if you guys missed it it's up in the discord somewhere is anybody care to beta read it not I I want to read the finished product I do not want to be the I don't do beta shit I'm just kidding no seriously I want to read the final product and that's the only one I want to read I know that's that's very that's very jerky of me but it's the truth oh Vikings down Viking is down down baby don't shit on my rainbow ready to let her go I've been singing that song wrong for ever since it came out and I love my version so much I'm trying to decide I I've been reading so slow lately but something is pulling me to reread Stephen King's entire catalog again and I don't know why I've read every single book that he has ever written at least twice yeah Vikings on the discord he just joined today as a matter of fact my brother used to play that song constantly it was on the radio nonstop when it first came out and yeah come to find out Nelly likes young girls like is there any decent musician that doesn't have a deviant attraction to young people I don't know oh yeah revival your top ten it's in my top three it goes it pet cemetery and revival and then the wastelands and then the last one is a tie I don't know probably Dolores Claiborne and Leasey story I love them both equally Viking I will hear no slander about revival I need to turn my ear on I had my heater on this morning just your opinion that's what I got to say to that yeah then the ending of the book in my opinion I got to pump myself up first is the best part of the book because it just shows it just so so well the entire book is about the fleeting nature of life like how quick life goes by but that ending really really nails it like if you're talking about you know how quickly life goes by Wade against like mass you know what happens it just fits perfectly just the whole fucking world at that point goddammit charlie the hell is wrong with you I do love how these last the ring light looks like an eyeball in my in my glasses these are my reading glasses because the pages be too bright yo maybe I need to read it again yeah just well I mean don't just read the ending again I would say read the book again and keep in mind that the reason why the book is so short and why it jumps through time so much is because King was trying to do he was purposefully doing that to show the fleeting nature of life how quickly it goes by how certain moments define us or how we let certain moments define us I've only read one King novel in the past 10 years so you've missed like 15 books and one of my prized possessions is this Bible version of revival spicy it's a spicy meatball that that no that's a that's a HP lovecraft anyways in one way at least our lives really are like movies the main cast consists of your family and friends the supporting cast is made up of neighbors co-workers teachers and daily acquaintances there are also bit players the supermarket checkout girl with the pretty smile the friendly bartender at the local watering hole the guys you work out with at the gym three days a week and there are thousands of extras those people who flow through every life like water through a sieve seen once and never again the teenager browsing graphic novels at Barnes and Noble the one you had to slip past murmuring excuse me in order to get to the magazines the woman in the next lane at a stoplight taking a moment to freshen her lipstick the mother wiping ice cream off her toddler's face and in a roadside restaurant where you stop for a quick bite the vendor who sold you a bag of peanuts at a baseball game but sometimes a person who fits none of these categories comes into your life this is the Joker who pops out of the deck at odd intervals over the years often during a moment of crisis in the movies this sort of character is known as the fifth business or the change agent when he turns up in a film you know he's there because the screenwriter put him there but who is screenwriting our lives fate or coincidence I want to believe it's the latter I want with all my heart and soul when I think of Charles Jacobs my fifth business my change agent my nemesis I can't bear to believe his presence in my life had anything to do with fate it would mean all these terrible things these horrors were meant to happen if that is so then there is no such thing as light and our belief in it is a foolish illusion if that is so we live in darkness like animals in a burrow or ants deep in their hill and not alone this is probably king's best cyclical narrative where it all comes back around yeah that's just it's a fucking exquisite book period over and on with hands down exquisite yeah in the time it took us to talk in this chat king had written ten more novels I searched my Goodread shelves I've read nine king books so far awesome that teenager was me at the manga section in high school speaking of manga I gotta read the newest Junji I've I haven't read anything past do you right stop with the pointy do you right there I have so many books by him I need to read no longer human sensor the liminal zone and I got another one sitting in the house so many I have to write I mean read trying to think about stuff that I can do with the background to kind of brighten it up I think I want to do lights maybe change the colors for the holidays like orange and purple for for Halloween and then or orange and green or orange green and purple then Christmas lights then who knows what maybe just white lights for every other occasion I don't know you could add fog I could but not until game night I promised myself that I would only do game night and the reason for that is for the safety and security of my books the way I have the fog machine placed it is right next to me now and it's blowing that way so and it causes of course condensation as vapor does and I don't want to ruin the books so we got to be very careful with that you could oh you could add fog smart ass damn it Viking any who I am a starving e I need food food food so I am going to go thank you all for joining me I'll probably be doing this tomorrow or I'll be now actually I needed to get back to streaming resume before but I'll do a resume before stream tomorrow and then on Sunday we'll do game night okay Viking okay you can have your fog then love you Viking god damn it okay so bye Alec bye Ty bye Chad bye Tony bye Lee bye Brian and everyone else who might be lurking love your faces oh hell the chair I ain't got a milky way for blood evolution in my I ain't got a milky way for blood evolution in my