 Now I got a press conference I got to get to. Where the hell is the press conference? Where the hell is the press conference room? Where'd they put that by? Okay, what the hell? Ashley from Ashley Furniture here. Couch, would you like to comment on the rumors that the teams continued poor performances due to declining team Morel from your resistance to taking the players out for ice cream? No, that literally has nothing to do with anything but also Ashley, I will probably be seen you soon because I need to first a new house. Point one news, I've been watching Russian dash cam videos on YouTube for about two weeks straight and was scared I was desensitized to gore and death but you proved I am still human today because what I saw traumatized me. Coaching is really what was the difference I think in this game. So, quick question coach, how do you hear a hematoma? Hematoma? Like that damn explosion? Hell of a first half, what? Because we are fighting to the damn whistleblows. Fighting to the damn whistleblows. Hey coach, tell lamb to do his job or he can make himself useful and give us all lamb jobs. No, that's my job, okay? That is my job. Did me like that. Listen, I'm the one coaching the players, okay? Your job is to play the damn game. Hey coach, Adam Schefter from ESPN here. In a bizarre twist, the refs let you give an extended pep talk to the team which delayed a lot, but it ended up being longer than the overtime period. What do you think went wrong with the speech? They really did this week. Hey coach, any comment on the rumors that the NFL is negotiating rebroadcasting rights for your games this season to Pornhub? Obviously, our guys did not play the way that I wanted them to play this week. Hey coach, George Lopez, yes that Lopez, rough game. You had a receiving goal of giving Sutton 150 yards. Do you think you would have had an easier job of achieving that goal if you started Sutton on the Eagles defense? Anyway, what I wanted to say was about a posterior chain development and how we like to approach things with our athletes here in New Orleans is explosive strength. Coach, fans are saying this game did more damage than I did. How will you turn this around next week? No, that is not true, okay? That is not true. Y'all need to relax now. That did not happen. You gotta play with some heart. And if you don't, you won't be here very long. Hey coach, Steve and Michaels with Michaels and Bicycles Times. I recently found out my wife is cheating on me with the mailman and my son resents me for not taking him to the park more. That has nothing to do. What are the goals for the rest of the season? I miss my wife. I don't expect that to happen anymore. I do not want to see that again. Hick, formerly of the Michaels and Bicycles Times. Hick, currently allegedly suspended for allegedly drinking too allegedly much. Okay. Allegedly. Hick, I haven't seen my son in weeks. My wife has filed for divorce. She left me for the mailman. I'm losing my job. My whole life is crumbling before my eyes. What was the question? How will the quarterback position me again? It comes down to the fundamentals. Honestly, it's all it is. We have got to control the football. Former happily married man. Now divorced. Formerly loving father. Now my son hates me. I don't understand how this happened. I've always tried to do the right thing and she just took it all away from me. Okay. I feel lost and hopeless. Okay. That has nothing to do with what we're talking about son. Okay. Well, anyway, as I was. How do you plan to address the problems at quarterback? Okay. Well, excuse me. This year is a draft pick and hell, if he was about five to seven inches long or not long. Five to seven inches taller. Excuse me. But we were very, you know, we're obviously very happy with the pick and we have a way of using them. Coach, are you drafting players based on penis size? Because I got to take a piss. Why the hell are damn reporters talking? Get out of the damn bathroom. Hey, coach. Is it time to consider Justin Fields among the best quarterbacks in the NFL? I'm taking a leak. Is it time to consider Hunter Renfrow among the grittiest, hardest working wide receivers in the league? Stop asking me damn questions. Nice cock, coach. Why are you looking at? Thanks for taking questions in the bathroom a couple weeks back. I never took questions in the bathroom. Okay. You were chasing me down. Seeing as you draft based on penis size. No, we don't. Hey, coach. My nephew has a 10 inch cock. Don't ask me how I know. I'm leaving. Do you want his agent's phone number? I've got an incredible head coach. I just cannot say enough good things about head coach. We did not. With that in mind, with how incredible these rookies have been, is it safe to say the Raiders are big dick swinging their way to a Super Bowl victory? Listen, I did not draft players based on the size of their penis. Okay, I didn't do that. Hell, to be honest with you, I don't even know the size of most of my... Well, if any of my... For eight touchdowns, 553 yards, that's incredible. That's incredible. Freshly single after his girlfriend left him for his ex-wife who left him for the mailman. Okay. Despite the big win, both your QBs threw multiple interceptions into the bill's pedestrian 4-3 zone difference. Okay, sure. Yeah. My question is, why does every woman I meet ruin my life? Is it because I'm ugly? Is it because I don't have fancy clothes? Or a nice car? That has litter... How will you address the turnover issues? That has... Will I ever find love? Answer me. We threw a couple interceptions with field there, but... Steve and Michaels crack head bum. The offensive line really struggled with penalties and missed blocks today. Uh-huh. They did. My question is, how often are you supposed to feed a fish? Okay. See, I got this goldfish. I named him Michael Stevens. He's super cute and we're going to be best friends forever. Why'd you name your goldfish? How much do I feed him? How much do I walk him? Can I pet him? You can't know. Will you find me a new wife? How will you address the offensive line? Do fish have sex? Answer the question. Okay, literally none of those things make any sense and they're not possible. Ignore that. Hey, coach. Please. Steve and Michaels crack head bum. Oh, and Michael Stevens crack head goldfish. Why are you speaking? The offensive line continued to struggle today, which has become a recurring theme this season. It has. It really has. But what I want to know... Actually, I don't have a question. Just thought I'd tell you I am going to be staying on your couch for a while until I get back on my feet. No. You can't stay at my house. I don't even know who you are. Just... Yes, I am. Okay. See you at home, coach. Yes. It's a big, big issue for us and honestly, I haven't had that at all. Coaches fans' cell phone begins to ring. Hey, coach. Steve and Michaels calling you from the Las Vegas Police Department. I got busted for allegedly selling crack. Allegedly. Why are you telling me that? How'd you get my phone number? Henry Ruggs says, hi. Look, you're my one call and I need you to focus because what I am about to ask you is extremely important. Okay. Can I borrow five bucks? Will you feed my fish? Please. I can't give you five dollars. Is it true you're pushing for an Aaron Rodgers trade? I don't even know where your family, where your fish lives, where your house is. And no, I'm not pushing for an Aaron Rodgers trade. We're very happy with... He hung up. Hey, coach. For giving us this free win, we thought it would be appropriate to give you payment. So we have ordered 15 happy meals just for you. Hey, coach. Anything to say on rumors of the owner thinking of firing your sorry ass? Thanks, coach.