 This is Think Tech Hawaii, Community Matters here. Aloha and welcome to Out and About, this Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Day and we are at Think Tech Livestreaming Network series broadcasting from our downtown studio in Pioneer Plaza in Honolulu, Hawaii. And we are still here, even though we had quite a scare on Saturday, which we'll talk about in a minute, but I am your host Winston Welch and I am delighted you are joining us. Where we explore every other week a variety of topics, organization events and the people who fuel them in our city, state, country and our world, as a disclaimer, interviews or opinions expressed by me are strictly my own and not connected with any organization. Joining me again in the studio, I'm very delighted to say is David Tosaka and we're going to continue the conversation that we started a couple shows ago because David is a font of knowledge and wisdom and also positive energy and I just love that about him and he has an upcoming book series, it's probably going to be published momentarily or we'll get an update on that on life enhancement series focusing on our health, wealth, love and resulting happiness and today we are focusing on the love portion of that, looking for love in all the right places so with that I'd like to welcome you again to the show David. Thank you Winston, glad to be here. I'm glad to be here too so before we get to your topic today, you've just come back from the consumer electronic show and that must have been an amazing event. Fantastic. So when you were there, obviously this was happening over the last weekend when we got notification at 8.07 in the morning on Saturday morning that our world might be ending within, well, 20 minutes or less, there was an inbound nuclear, well it said ballistic missile so we could just assume that it was probably nuclear tips since we've been having some warnings on this and the klaxon and it came in on our phone and so it was a very tense bit of time because the state took 38 minutes to respond and say actually we made a mistake so you're in Vegas and it was it was a 10 30 or 11 30 there, 10 or 11 there, two hours, it's two hours, okay, so they're Pacific time so what did you think when you got these when you started getting messages or did people say David what do I do or well the I never got the notice via my phone okay the first I got was from Facebook saying oh you know this thing is happening and my logical mind says this can't be real and the reason for this is my logical mind figures out different things like who would the missile come from, well North Korea of course because that's the agitation point but the other thing was how could they do this and why would they do it because it would be nuclear suicide for them so I began to calculate and then I said something is off and it's probably bogus probably bogus and then as time went on I said it's definitely bogus it's definitely and yeah and my mind said after weighing all the different factors I said this can't be happening and how many minutes until you went from probably to definitely bogus within five minutes five minutes yeah because I have to think in my mind okay who would be doing this why why at this time what would be the purpose of this and it just didn't make sense so this all presupposes of course that Kim Jong-il is reasonably sane Kim Jong-un as reasonably sane and that he's not going to lob a missile is just out of spite or stupidity or something along those lines or maybe that he thought he was being attacked or something along those lines so you did the calculus and came out with it's it's all okay yeah how about the people on Facebook that were still messaging you frantically for those 30 minutes what was their consensus I think for them when I looked at it a lot of them were panicked because it was something that hadn't happened before so they didn't know how to handle it and perhaps they didn't have the logical mind like me trying and maybe the information that I had already gleaned in the past to surmise bogus okay so did you did you dispense any pearls of wisdom at the time or were you just trying to tell people it's okay just calm down I didn't give any input because of what I found is people like to shoot the messenger no matter what the message is okay so you were just a passive sympathetic ear that people could they were just posting stuff and it was coming in on your feet and you figure well we'll figure out what we'll know in in 20 minutes anyway right and my greatest concern was that if this had happened why did it happen and who's responsible you mean if it actually had happened yeah I mean I knew it had happened because friends had posted you don't mean the like a ballistic missile attack but just the fact that a notification went out okay so so that was more like how did this even happen like don't we have some fail safeguards or don't you have to have two people saying are you sure we want to send this message out to a million people so my logical mind surmise within five minutes bogus this is a very serious problem and someone's in trouble yes okay so when the state finally did come out you just thought oh my goodness well so we got some systems to look at here some user interface yeah so well I you know I being here actually it was a from my own perspective I've seen the whole gamut from people that fortunately ignored their phones or their phones were off they didn't even realize it was happening there were no cyber some sirens went off apparently near the military bases but if they weren't watching TV and they didn't listen to their phone I had other a friend one who just got it and said oh this is irritating me she didn't she shut off her phone because she said this obviously not happening other people were reasonably cautious and said well I wonder is this really happening it's or and like you were thinking oh it's probably not true but what if it is true and and you're faced suddenly with this existential threat that a million of us might just be vaporized in a second and that was interesting and then you have other people that went full-on and and did what I think was sort of natural could you know freaking out and getting in the tub and trying to explain to their kids or going into the manholes or parking in the caves and and then all kinds of ramifications that are going to come out of this you I heard that target and target and Walmart kicked the people out and get out of our store whereas Home Depot said come into our store so we're going to see this is Chris Lee the representative from a Kanihe or Kailua at the east side he said we're going to have a huge treasure trove of data of how people reacted to this did they clog the internet did they you know overload the the phone lines did they end up going to their neighbor next to him bonking him on the head who's been irritating with their leaf blower from the last 30 years they figure this is it you know or did they just what what what did they do what did they not do it's a big wake-up call to be prepared for any emergency I think fundamentally yeah I think that with Valentine's Day coming up yes some people may have had the regrets the saddest words of tongue a pen are these four words I might have been I might have been fill in the blank yes so yeah it was I can say it was we have this is going to be a lot of discussion about this in the future and maybe we can come back and talk about this another day about that and some other topics that that sort of are plaguing moderate humanity but for me that the overwhelming thing was that this wasn't a tsunami threat or a hurricane or something like that this was a man-made threat whether it was turned out to be not real it could have very been real and we're talking about humans planning each other's destruction on a unimaginable scale and that and that and it happened near almost instantaneously and that this is you know we've grown up with this all of our lives right you did you probably did duck and cover when you were that is correct yes and I remember as a child thinking about that and you probably remember the movie the day after which was Jason Robards and that was about 1980 was when Ronald Reagan was president and then there was the remember our university had the day after the day after so we talked about these issues and it's all kind of madness isn't it you know why can't get along the creative my creative mind says you know what we must have an anti-missile system in place on a waffle and it will take it down if in fact this virtue well I would that is that is nice thinking and if it's so that is great but we fundamentally need to get at these problems of we're just this floating ball in the middle of space and we've all got to figure out how to get along and when you have people at the helm who are not acting like saying rational adults that doesn't help either but problem we're not going to solve here today however probably some people woke up and said I haven't found love that I'm looking for who you know who am I going to call and and and and people who did they call and and and what was what were their last words what were their last thoughts did they regret something maybe a lot of people were thinking they regretted either love lost or love not found and so you've been working on this on this topic for a while looking for love in all the right places so for the people that woke up and had a have another chance really I mean we all sort of had a psychic rebirth on Saturday what would you say we're how do we even begin to look for love in all the right places when we haven't been able to find it before in the past well the traditional systems of finding love have dissolved the boy next door the girl next door they moved away a long time ago and my auntie is my matchmaker my cousin whatever the biggest problem and the best solution is to use technology as your server and the fact that approximately 25 to 30 million Americans are doing online dating tells us something about the movement away from person-to-person initial meeting to using technology to actually make the connection mm-hmm and I'm a proponent for online and and because of this you say it's only 20 to 25 to 30 million I'm surprised it's so low it could be more but that's just with the dating services that like I think that's just for match.com it could it could very well be harmony has maybe 20 million and probably a lot of them are crossed over anyway so when you were at the consumer electronic shows did you see anything that was designed to to help assist people in the in the the dating process well the one thing is the thing that I've learned is the traditional attractor factor men go for looks women go for security men go for looks and women go for security okay so I was when I was reading about this before our show it said something that that men spend the majority of the time on the site looking at the images and the women on the text and that women are also much more likely to ask a friend to kind of proofread their profile and men just kind of throw it out there right and the sad thing because I have had I had coached several people for online dating fortunately three of them one got married mm-hmm to our engage well I what how about if we hear about their stories when we come back from a short break as as always our time is evaporating but it's wonderful to be talking with David to soccer here on out and about on the think tech live streaming network series we are going to take just a short break so stay tuned for more of the story this is think tech Hawaii raising public awareness likeable science on think tech Hawaii every Friday afternoon at 2 p.m. I hope you'll join me for likeable science we'll dig into science to get into the meat of science dig into the joy and the light of science we'll discover why science is indeed fun why science is interesting why people should care about science and care about the research that's being done out there it's all great it's all entertaining it's all educational so I hope to join me for likeable science hey we're back and we're live I'm Winston Welch and this is out and about on think tech live streaming network series we're talking with David to soccer on his upcoming book series of life enhancements today specifically about of all kinds of things because we always have so much to talk about but specifically looking for love in all the right places and you are just saying you're advocate because your auntie's not working anymore the matchmaker left the village your neighbor moved away already and that's that ship sailed so online is the way to go and you have some examples of three people recently that are maybe in the past that you wanted to share about I found that like many things most people might be fearful about online dating there could be predators and everything one girl says well you know that could be a sexual predator that's reaching out to me I said if you're in church it could be a sexual predator too so there's no guarantee and your church it could be too yeah yeah and so I tell my female they're mostly female clients a safety factor is if you meet someone and you know their real name if you're out for what we call coffee dates the predate yeah excuse yourself go to the bathroom Google yeah by the time you come back you'll know what's real or if you have his name in advance I suppose you could just do people search or one of those Google is your friend Google is your friend and with information you can make better and smarter choices and what I've seen is that it's a wild minefield out there the good the bad the ugly the painful it's all in there so the power of the individual looking for love in all the right places is with the right information that can be empowered to make good and maybe great choices so what are some success stories that you've heard out of this and maybe inside of those success stories there were some setbacks or issues that came up that so you people might come to you and say David help me find a husband or a wife well one of my clients who's a very successful entrepreneur said that I'm planning to retire and I'd like to have someone to do things with okay and she said I'm not a moocher and I don't want someone mooching off okay so let's keep our bank accounts separate right and so she hired me to actually be her match.com assistant so I actually uploaded all of the information from her I actually received all the emails and then I forwarded it to her so basically she ran it like a business I was like the worker bringing all this information to her and then she'll say do this do this and so I said hey I found this multi-millionaire just like you and he's interested in meeting you oh I don't know this kind of thing so finally she said oh okay and because she didn't even want to post a picture yeah so she had a lot of things going against there because men go for looks yeah go for security and it was all set up he was going for a six week trip to Europe and he said when I get back I left him when he came back I said okay you know he's asking to meet with you last month she said I don't want to do it do or don't don't want to don't want to do this so just send an email to cancel thank you but no thank you okay but if you go for volume then the problems of the last love in the world dissolve there's one gal I know who use the online dating service to the tune of having 500 dates wow before she got married that's a lot of sifting through the find the needle in the haystack yes and she had a system because you have to process through a lot of people you have to have a system that's efficient yeah and empowering and tells the truth quickly so when when you're advising clients to do this well number one you got it you got to show up you got to play to win exactly so if you're not even playing to win you're just sitting home watching TV you're probably not going to meet somebody online well I have a phrase in this context it says you can't score your loves touchdown sitting on the bench okay fair enough you got it you got to play to win you got to show up you got to right make a profile and I and I read another statistic for this it says about 30% of people they never even end up going on a date maybe they're they have fear of going out or many of the individuals who are now looking for love may have either had a bad experience such as having gone through a divorce too busy working maybe they were going for their doctorate or medical degree yeah so while other people are dating they were studying yeah so here they are in their career advancing it but they may find something's missing I'd like to rather than reading my technical manuals or medical reports I'd like some time for me have a glass of wine with somebody I love yes or or like yeah and so part of the system that we look at is there is a system to actually doing it right and doing it safely and what does that system what would those basic guidelines be for you do you have do you have folks fill out a questionnaire that would be in addition to we have a acronym we have this S E E and this is mostly for men it you should be safe you should have a system that's efficient and effective okay so with those things at least the system is engaged in a way that protects you you should have a system how to weed out the funky guys and gals because there's a lot of them out there sure and yet I'm a wedding officiant also yes and when I asked what where did you to me when they look at each other with that strange look like shall we tell me tell him yeah and I said well we met online I said congratulations yeah right I think that there used to be the slightest stigma to it yes like oh you must be hard to have right or saying you met in a bar yeah well that's what people did they go would go to a singer's bar was the old days yeah I think bar hopping for the boomers and some other is passé yeah and the thing is because we are so tech focused already and a lot of us may work from home or we become more socially isolated in general I mean you can attend church online you can do almost you can you can bank online you can do almost everything online these days so even getting out and meeting people I can imagine can be a daunting experience and especially when you're putting yourself out there and and saying you know you've been through a divorce or maybe some the love of your life died and you're putting yourself out there because you say I got into the 30 40 years or 20 years or something so when you get out there do you recommend for people to say okay your first first meeting you should go to a coffee shop or well here's the basic premise of my system is only meet during the day okay drive yourself there yeah meet in a public place yes like a Starbucks or something your first meeting should be a minimum of 30 minutes and if it's doesn't know chemistry no connection you can back out graciously don't go for dinner in a movie you'll be stuck for four hours yeah yeah and this way there is no investment so if you say well we still got dinner to go but I don't want to do this yeah you can back up and say it's been great meeting you yeah I wish you all the best in your quest yeah however I think that we're not a good match yeah and you can just leave no hurt feelings and think and I'm quick and maybe set up those guidelines before you even meet oh definitely if either one of us is just not feeling it for whatever reason I know you're a quality person but you whatever and it's what I call a gracious interaction and do you have do you is it different for people who are older or who have are coming out of it's very similar it's identical the the main thing for women especially is safe is is feeling safe and actually being safe right and you want something that efficient you don't want to drag out it shouldn't be tough and this is what I teach in mind what used to be or still is you know the online dating course and we call it date smart you while you date smart you you okay but as a double entendre of university yes yeah and how can we find that just so we can go to dates smart you dot com so D A T E S and then another S date smart okay date smart one word D A T E S M A R T you why are you dot com okay or can we find it on a link on your page at David to soccer dot com I think I have one there okay but I'll if you follow me on Facebook I'll be posting you know what's coming up I'm thinking of having one for Valentine's Day next month because a lot of people I said yeah I see all the thing but I'd like to come to an actual thing and hear it for myself and so again it's dates smart you and it's D A T E S M A R T why oh you dot com that's so you so you have maybe an event coming up for for Valentine's Day yes and what is that like a speed dating thing or no it's actually probably just about an hour course okay where people will get the basic parameters and information and from there my goal is to help them help themselves because with information they can make wiser decisions more efficiently and they'll know why they're doing things and how to do it and why and how and are your clients a rough mix of the sexes or would you say it's a lot more women a lot more women women I found are more willing to admit hey I want to date and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get it men said I can get it any I did any time but I'm choosing not to do it yet this time it's very interesting of it but there are different mindsets of how well the macho mindset doesn't want to admit any kind of fragility in this area yeah I'm sure and you know it's it is but you got it you got a play to win you got to get out there and if it's and if it's not online then then get involved in your community volunteer oh definitely find it find a spiritual community that's meaningful tons of organizations you could volunteer for but even if you belong to those groups you still have the basic tools yeah that you need to learn safe effective efficient and efficient so it these are all really good points and you had one thing that says the love that you are seeking is seeking you definitely I found that for the vast majority of people that there is someone out there for them but in order to find that person they have to engage the system of finding and and and that's our modern world it means using technology yes in a safe effective and efficient manner you okay se and so we can we can go to david tisaka.com to find out some more information about your your course where you teach some fundamentals well if they went straight to dates smart you dot com dates smart you dot com even more direct okay and maybe you could put a link on your on your homepage or on your Facebook page and we could just Google Facebook David Tisaka Honolulu and your smiling face will show up yeah is that true hopefully well I always appreciate you being here so much David and I think you have a lot of topics to talk about because there's some you're an interesting and interested guy and you know passionate about life and your your book series which life enhancement series on health wealth and health wealth love and the resulting happiness is so important for us and we can find out more information again at your website as well so we're looking forward to seeing those books being published and and all of the wonderful effects that they're going to have in people's lives and so thank you for putting the time into that and and guiding people with your your wisdom and your passion and your experience thank you and thank you for being here today so unfortunately we are all out of time and we have to wrap it up again I'm Winston Welsh this is out and about on Think Tech Live Network Streaming series on Martin Luther King Jr Memorial Day in 2018 we've been talking with David Tisaka on his upcoming book series life enhancements a series of life enhancements and look forward to more in the future so thanks for tuning in and welcome back I would like to thank our good folks here at Think Tech Hawaii our broadcast engineer Robert Perpus our technical producer Ian Davidson our floor manager Ray Sangling and to Jay Fidel our executive producer who puts it all together and we hope that Robert McLean is feeling better who is out with the flu right now so I will see you here every other Monday at three for more out and about on Think Tech Aloha everyone