 Family Theatre presents Don DeFore and Sterling Holloway. From Hollywood, the Mutual Network in Cooperation with Family Theatre presents The Ballad of Dan McBurdy, starring Sterling Holloway. And now, here is your host, Don DeFore. Thank you very much, Tony LaFranco. Family Theatre's only purpose is to bring to everyone's attention a practice that must become an important part of our lives if we are to win peace for ourselves, peace for our families, and peace for the world. Family Theatre urges you to pray. Pray together as a family. And now, to our transcribed drama, The Ballad of Dan McBurdy, starring Sterling Holloway as the narrator and featuring Joseph Kearns as Dan McBurdy. Me? Oh, yes. Ladies and gentlemen, today is a day of celebration. 200 years ago today, a very great man was born. In fact, some say the greatest man ever to grace the pages of our history books. I'm speaking, of course, of none other than the world famous Daniel P. McBurdy. I would like to pay tribute to this illustrious man. Oh, Daniel P. Loquacious Man with words of counsel strong. Oh, wise and always gracious man. Of thee, we sing our song. Of course, I don't have to tell you what this country might be like if it hadn't been for McBurdy. I only- Yeah, pardon me, son. Yes. Who was he? What did you say? I said, who was he? Oh, I thought that's what you said. Oh, come now, really. You don't know who Daniel P. McBurdy was? I can't say as I do. Look, have you ever heard of Paul Bunyan, the giant of the Northwest? Oh, sure I heard of Paul Bunyan. Timberman came down from the Dominion of Canada. He had a blue ox named Babe. Of course you've heard of Pekos Bill, the great cowboy who took care of the Southwest. That's because I heard of Pekos Bill had a horse named Widowmaker. That's right. Greatest cow poke that ever poked a cow. Yeah. Wouldn't use a six-shooter. Wouldn't use anything less than a seven-shooter. Yes. And he used two of them. Because one wouldn't shoot far enough. That's the fellow. Mmm. Pekos Bill was a mighty rider, raised on stake and cacti cider, hard as steel, a real two-fister, inventor of the Texas Twister. Let's all cheer, hooray, hooray, hooray, a great ovation. Let's all cheer, hooray, hooray, in celebration. He made his mark because he fought to do just what he thought he ought to do. Forever named in his duration, hero of the Southwest nation. Sure, oh, Pekos Bill sent a lot for the West. Oh, why, he invented the Texas longhorn, the medium-sized horn, and the short horn breed. Yes, that's the one. And there was the time the Gulf of Mexico went dry. Pekos Bill rode Widowmaker all the way to Southern Colorado. He tied Lake Grandi to Widowmaker's tail and dragged the lake clean to Brownsville. And there's a string of muddy tracks all along his route to show which way he dragged it. Yep, they call them tracks the Rio Grande. And there was another time that old Pekos... Wait a minute, wait a minute. You wanted to know about the greatest one of them all, McBurdy. You're right, yes. Well, Daniel P. McBurdy was Paul Bunyan, boiled down. Pekos Bill with a purpose. Yes, sir, old Dan took care of the rest of the country practically all by himself. Wait, do you know if it hadn't been for him? Chances are the pilgrims never would have landed at Plymouth Rock. And according to some people, this country would be a lot different in a lot of ways. Yes, but what did he do? What didn't he do? I'll tell you about it. Well, as a matter of fact, there's a poem that tells about the whole story. You want to hear it, I'm sure. Oh, sure thing. In London Town, there lived a lad. Hark well to what I say. In London Town, there lived a lad who sold most everything he had to sail to what was going to be our USA. A wise lad, surprise lad, and always ready with the replies lad. Count it very fortunate he came our way. One day, out on the briny deep, now Hark well to what I say, one day, out on the briny deep, the captain shook him from his sleep. To whisper with anxiety, he'd lost his way. Oh, a sad tale, a bad tale, a definitely not in fad tale. Captain of poor Daniel's ship had lost his way. I know it's there, you know, but I just can't find it. Can't, uh, can't find it, sir? No, no, and I'd rather hate to disappoint all these people, you know. They do expect to put in at America, and I find my own little system of navigation just doesn't work this far from jolly old England, you know. Well, son, what system were you using? I'd always look around till I could see the stern of the ship, you see. Then I just try to sail in the other direction. But something seems to have gone wrong, but you can see on these charts. You can't seem to find us anywhere. Let me see the charts, boy. I know a little something about navigation. Rather, I was quite tickled to hear you were aboard. I hope I'm not putting you to a lot of trouble. Oh, not a bit, son. I'll find America for you. In fact, we'll hit right about there, where I'm pointing. Right at that rock. At the very rock? Why, no one alive can navigate that exactly. I'll do whatever my name is in Daniel P. McBurdy. If you can do it, I'll name the ship after you. Oh, no need to do that. Mayflower seemed like a nice enough name. Well, for a time, some of those aboard the ship doubted that McBurdy could do it. Only for a little time, though, because soon all were aware that they were being guided by as capable a man who had ever sailed the seas. Hello, Mr. Jarvis. Two points to lava, Mr. Hornblower. Up the missing pooper and schedule the portholes, Mr. Hamilton. Steady as she goes. And everyone settled back to enjoy what remained of a long voyage. Then one day... Very, very ho. Oh, I see. Oh, I doubt... That rock sticking through the deck is the very one you pointed out. I'm going to name the ship after you. That's what we'll call it the Flying McBurdy. No, I won't hear of it. Just, uh, just name the rock after me. That'll be enough. McBurdy Rock? Daniel P. McBurdy Rock? That don't sound right. Well, we'll use my middle initial, boy. Just call it P. Limus Rock. And so, you see, the Pilgrims might have missed America altogether. If Mr. McBurdy hadn't been with the Mayflower... Yes, but I thought P. Limus Rock was called P. Limus Rock because the Mayflower was owned by the Plymouth Company of England. Well, now, look, if you really don't want to hear anymore... Oh, no, no, no. Get on. Get on. What else did McBurdy do? Ever hear of the Boston Tea Party? Oh, of course I heard of the Boston Tea Party. Yes, but did you ever hear of the Rondelet? Huh? A Rondelet. Now, Boston's folk were fond of tea. Hark well to what I say. Now, Boston's folk were fond of tea and thought too much could never be, and so they set to brewing it in Boston Bay, a grand tale, but bland tale, and paints the party very pale. Of course, that's not quite how the tea got into Boston Bay. Well, then, how did it happen? I'll tell you about it. First of all, McBurdy had a big hand in it. Oh, yes. What'd he do? Well, you see, it was this way. Yes, well, you see, taxis were very great in the colonies, and most of the colonies were pretty unhappy about it, too, especially because, well, look, you no doubt have heard the old McBurdyism, I'm sure. Taxation without representation is tyrannical. So, he's a fellow that said that. Well, someone else might have said it first, but McBurdy said it best. At any rate, several loads of tea came into Boston Harbor for sale in the colonies. Yes, but how did he did a McBurdy figure in the tea? Well, it's right there in the McBurdy Ballad. It is? It certainly is. Now King George stooped to bribery. Hark well to what I say. Now King George stooped to bribery and sent the settlers cut-rate tea in hopes the lower levy talk would go away. Oh, a wrong move, an un-strong move, a very much not-in-the-groove move. King George had not considered just what Dan would say. McBurdy finished. A man, we've got troubles. Hooray! But I'll get us out of them. Hooray! The men of my family have always been good at getting rid of troubles. Back in the old country, when a catastrophe would happen, they'd send for us, and they'd always say, that's for the McBurdys. Hooray! Now those shiploads of tea are a threat. So I say, go down to the ships and throw the tea into the bay. Show them how we feel about it. Hooray! But suppose someone sees us, it'll mean hiring taxes for everybody. That's right. So we'll disguise ourselves as Indians and we'll make it perfect. We'll even take Indian names. Now we've got to surprise them now. Everybody here. Rain in the face, Johnson. Get some upper stumpo, too. Yeah, he here. How sharper than a leopard's tooth is a thankless friend, McDougal? He's here. We're all here. All right, men, on to the ships. All right, men, on to the ships. All right, men, on to the ships. All right, men, on to the ships. All right, men, on to the ships. Shh! Let's go. I say, who goes down? Oh, it's you, chaps. We've come for tea. That's all I say. Isn't it a little early in the morning for tea? Well, it's only two o'clock, you know. And then Indians don't drink tea because... Oh. I say you are Indians, aren't you? Well, if you're thinking of... I mean, this hair, it really isn't mine, you know. It's a wig, you know. Would you like it? Take it. I have lots more. I might even find one for each of you. No, no, no. Stay back. No, no. Don't come any closer. All right, men, start throwing it over the side. No. No, don't touch me. I can't swim. Oh, you're throwing the tea over the side. Throwing the tea over the side. No, no, no. You mustn't do that, you know. Stop this instant. I warn you, the king will hear of this. And I don't think he's going to like it. Yes, sir, if it hadn't been for McBurdy's leadership that night, well, who knows? So that was what started the Revolutionary War. Well, yeah, that and a lot of other things. Those were illustrious days in the history of our country. Did McBurdy have anything to do with them? Did McBurdy have anything to do with... and you've heard of the famous Midnight Ride? Oh, yes, but that was Paul Revere. On McBurdy's horse. Who'd have thunk it? Sure. And you've heard of the Battle of Bunker Hill? Yes, yes. Well, now you know if Daniel P. McBurdy hadn't been along on that particular episode, things would have been pretty different. Oh, I suppose it's adversely McBurdy ballad about that, too. It certainly is. Music, please. At Bunker Hill, McBurdy fought. Hark well to what I say. At Bunker Hill, McBurdy fought. And with old Colonel Bill Prescott, he taught the British grenadiers to earn their pay. A hard fight, but so right, as Daniel said, was some delight. We didn't win the battle, but we won the day. Because, you see, the British were besieging Boston. So on the night of June 16th, Colonel William Prescott, McBurdy and some of the Colonials occupied Breeds Hill. The next day, Sir William Howell tried to take the hill away from him. Here they come, Colonel, up the hill. Yeah, here who comes? About 2,500 British regulars. 2,500 British regulars. And Howell. Catchy phrase, and Howell. People might take it up. Of course I mean General Howell. Well, McBurdy, it's all over with the shooting. Oh, another catchy phrase. Don't know whether we have enough ammunition. Oh, Bill, better tell our boys not to shoot till they're sure of hitting something. At least that's what George would say. George. Washington. Oh, yeah, yes, of course. Sounds like they're already firing. Too far to hit anything yet. Better wait. Yeah, yeah. The men, men, don't shoot till you can see the whites of their eyes. I gotta hand it to you, Bill. Another catchy phrase. Fire! Do you know what? The British made three more tries at capturing the hill, and on the last try, they captured it. But only because the Colonials had exhausted their ammunition. Just a minute, please. First of all, you say the battle of Bunker Hill wasn't at Bunker Hill, but a place called Breeds Hill. That's right. Any history book will tell you that. Yes, all right. But then you say we didn't win the fight. And why was it so important? Because. Because? Yes. Because. I see what you mean. It kind of scares you to think what might have happened if McBurdy hadn't been there, might have lost the war. Yeah, who knows what might have happened. But did he do anything else? I mean during the Revolutionary days. Oh, sure. He did a lot of things during the Revolution. There was one Christmas night during 1776, yes, when McBurdy came up with a pretty good piece of advice. It was a cold night, and the snow was coming down in pretty near-blizzard proportions. And McBurdy was in the American Army camp just across the river from British Hill. Come in. What more shall McBurdy report in general? There's no need for a formality between us, McBurdy, sit down. Oh, sure thing. Mac, I'm worried. The army's as low as it's ever been in number and morale, and I just don't know what to do. You've had a lot of experience, McBurdy. Have you got any ideas? As a matter of fact, I was hoping you were going to ask George, because I am. Now, if you and some of the men were to cross that river out there and attack Trenton, I think you'd capture it. And considering it's Christmas night, I don't even think there'd be much of a fight. Well, there would be an element of surprise, all right? I don't know. The river's full of floating ice. It might be too risky for the men. I'll have to think about it. Take my advice, George. Cross the Delaware tonight, and you'll have the enemy right where you want him. Well, if you say so, McBurdy. And of course you know what happened. Oh, of course, of course. Washington Cross the Delaware and old McBurdy sure must have been one smart cookie. Sounds like he gave some good advice. Yeah, he sure gave some good advice. Or did you just say that? Politics, music, science, journalism, leadership. Oh, McBurdy knew about all those things, and he wasn't a man to keep wisdom to himself, either. You know, there was one time when he was strolling through the backwoods of Kentucky. He ran into a boy who was working with an axe. I tell you, boy, opportunities don't present themselves. You've got to go out and make them. And for that, you need an education. If you can't buy books, borrow them. Read them over. They're in your cabin by firelight if you have to. When you've got your education, strike out for some place where a fella has to use his head. Illinois, maybe. Get a background in law. It might grow up to be something. Of course, if you want to stay here and split rails all your life, well, that's your business, Abe. And then another time when McBurdy was traveling through the south, he met a young man with a flair for music. Hold on, son. Just play that first phrase over again. That's enough. Oh, I come from Old Tallahassee with my trombone on my knee. I tell you, you change that Tallahassee to Louisiana and the trombone to a banjo, and you might have something there, Steve. And in science, well... Yeah, the carbon-haven strand seems to work pretty good, but I think you might get a better crindle grats, glow that is, with tungsten. Well, now that we've got this here electric lightworking, Tom, I've had an idea for a long time about making a talking machine. Now, you see, the cork of sauce with the cratestrand. You know, I think you should print in your paper well, write an editorial for the young men in the east, the ones who are looking for opportunity. Give them a slogan, Horace. Something like, uh, go west, young man. Go west, or something like that. And then there was a time in California when Dan McBurdy called on his old friend, Mr. Sutter. Well, howdy, John. I just thought I'd stop by and tell you, I noticed something kind of shiny all day. I just happened to be strolling by. Here, let me show you. Yes, it was right about here, John, and the way the sun was reflecting, I almost thought, gold, it's gold! And that fateful day at Kitty Hawk, Daniel P. McBurdy was among those present. Uh, Wilbur, horrible. You know what's the matter with this contraption of yours? Once a couple of pieces like this coming out of each side. Catch the wind a little better. Here, now you stick this out from the left, Wilbur, and you over, you hook this onto the right side. All right, now let her go, boys. But all that thing needed to get off the ground was a pair of wings. Do you remember San Juan Hill? San Juan Hill, the Spanish-American war? The same. Mind what I'm telling you, Teddy. I'm not a man who likes to chew his cabbage twice. Always walk softly and carry a big stick. Now charge, Teddy! Sounds pretty wonderful. Sounds, listen. You mean? Exactly. Knock, knock. Who's there? Amonia. Amonia who? Amonia Bird in a gilded cage. Ha! You see, if it wasn't for Daniel P. McBurdy, there'd be no radio comedians today. Well, I swan. Oh, yes. Go ahead and swan. Of course, there isn't time to tell all the things he did before he retired, but at least we've hit a few of the high spots. We sure could use a man like that today. And I'm obliged you for telling me about it, son. That's quite all right. Now tell me, my friend, just when did he pass on? Oh, he's not dead. He's not dead, you say? Oh, no. He retired about 20 years ago and moved to a nice, quiet little home in Oka Fonokie, Tennessee. He did? Yes, he did. And as a matter of fact, friend, we were just about to hear a nationwide speech from him at this minute when you interrupted him. Oh, I'd sure like to hear that. All right, I'll turn on the radio. Oh, thank you, son. Very proud to be speaking to you today as one retired. As one retired. For in these hurry times, we cannot stress too much the importance of taking life at a slow... Pardon me for a minute, folks. Hello. Yes, this is Daniel P. McBurdy. Washington? George? Oh, D.C. Yeah, I'll hang on. I'll be with you in just a minute, folks. What's that you say? Oh, I didn't recognize your voice for a moment. Uh-huh. Oh, you're having trouble with your golf game. Before you moved to the White House, you were shooting in the low 80s. Oh, you tell me what you do. Left arm straight. Wait. Daniel P. McBurdy, eh, son? Well, tell me, how did he ever make such a mark for himself? Weren't you paying any attention at all? Now, listen, and this is the last time I'm going to tell it. He made his mark because he fought to do just what he thought he ought to do. Forever named in his duration the role of the whole daggedind nation. Now, this is Don DeFore again, and I would like to ask, did you ever happen to be jingling some coins in your hand and get to examining the dimes and quarters and pennies? Well, you'll see on every coin these words, in God we trust. Oh, I guess it's something that everyone knows about, but it makes me realize that every time we exchange a coin, we're offering a silent act of faith in God. It makes me realize that on all our coinage, there is inscribed the same conviction that we in Hollywood want to express through family theater. It's a conviction so many of us share an understanding that the simple direct appeal of prayer to God can bring hope and happiness and God's wonderful help to us and to our families. And we need trust in God and faith in one another to have a peaceful world, a prosperous nation, and happy homes. You know, a world of happy homes would go a long way to a peaceful world. And here's a thought for a happy home. Pray together as a family. Yes. Yes, pray together every night because family prayer will help keep your family together and happy. And you'll find this true for every race and creed, for every country and home. A family that prays together stays together. More things are brought by prayer than this world dreams of. This series of family theater broadcasts is made possible by the thousands of you who feel the need for this type of program, by the mutual network which has responded to this need, and by the hundreds of stars of stage, screen, and radio who give so unselfishly of their time and talent to appear on our family theater stage. To them and to you, our humble thanks. This is Tony LaFranco expressing the wish of Family Theater that the blessing of God may be upon you and your home and the blessing of God and inviting you to be with us next week when Family Theater will present East of Puntas starring Jeff Chandler and Ruth Hussey. Join us, won't you? This is the Mutual Broadcasting System.