 Hey there friends! How's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing Streamer Life Simulator because I have recently gone into streaming and frankly I need to get better. Whoa! That's just... what does it do to green? Okay it doesn't... In my experience streaming is mainly just sitting around so I'm hoping the game is a bit more than that for its content but let's get started I'm wearing my my streamer merch and I got my gamer boy headphones and I'm ready to play. All right it's so far so good. All right I need to make my person like a specimen to really stand out on this platform. I gotta make him like the ultimate Chad big eyes like anime. Yeah spaced apart eyes like anime. It's kind of reminding me of handsome Squidward a bit. Oh look at that! I think big head, big head works good for stream. All right so far so good. Oh that's good. That's really good. His mouth is sticking out of his cheek as well. Can I know the terms and conditions of the website before I finish creating him? Because if I'm allowed be nude I don't really want to bother dressing him. Oh my god! The little herbs! My dad that was a plumber and my mama was a T-Rex. Oh my god it only changes his legs. So you adjust the height? I'd fine. I didn't expect this level of character creation in this game but I love it. Oh my god look at that toy gap. I can't see him anymore. It's gone off the screen. Hold on. He's so worrying. Oh if you give him eyebrows he just looks depressed. Take him off piercing blue eyes I think. That's lovely. You can also give him alligator eyes. Yeah that's even more piercing. Might be good to put on some shorts. Why does the camera keep going into the wall? I think I'm done. Apply. Oh my god that dog is terrifying. I realize I am more terrifying but still. In fact my apartment is terrifying. Everything about this is a nightmare. Wait is my name Mosey? I wanted to name myself after my guy's hero Ninja. The fuck you say to me you little friend. Oh no messages what a surprise. Oh Lovevinder will come soon under development. That's like a shadow ban isn't it? Oh wait Mosey isn't me I gotta talk to Mosey. Wait why are you holding a gun? What the hell? I heard some gunshots and he's not holding a gun. I thought there was no bullet in the gun. Why are you swearing at me? End conversation exclamation mark. Put down that fucking gun god damn. Where's my computer? How do I get out the house? Put the computer parts in the trunk of the car and go home. Is this my car? Why was I here? All right I got all the computer parts. I'm getting out of here before I die. That guy seems insane. Really I gotta drive. Can my guy even reach the wheel? Oh my god look at his arms. They may be skinny but they got dexterity. God I'm going fast I want to break the sound barrier. Out of the way out of the way I need to get home. Oh my god I thought I'd go through them. Just the streamer life. Get off the road stupid speed rams. That's the same guy I just knocked down. Oh my god they're just kicking him. At least they don't care about him. So many speed bumps get out the way I'm going home. I'm going to start my streaming career. Something tells me this area may not have the best internet. I don't know if I'll be able to stream to be honest with you. Set up and run your computer. What is this? Oh it's a poster? God it's very neon-y for a poster. It looks like I don't even have electricity. Let's try and set up a desk or something. Why is it so tall? Well I guess why is my guy so tall? There we go I'm building my PC now. Everything is going well. Besides the few hidden runs I've done. Day's been pretty good. It's really annoying to move stuff around because you have to lift them one at a time. But I'm actually surprised with how well it works. Like it detected that I put everything down and my computer's ready to go. It even detects that I have a seat. God technology's amazing. All right how do I actually use my computer? I've never used technology. No one in the village has. Plus my arms can't reach the keyboard. Legendary monitor. God it's not a very epic legend is it? Well I guess to the village elders it might be. It's a box and you can see various things from around the world on it. You can even ask it questions. All right let's see blender website is what I need to do. Register on the blender website. Okay is that the streaming site? Or am I like a cam girl maybe? That I think there's a market for it. Maybe I should sign up for Zorn Hub. Maybe I should check my speed to make sure I can actually stream. Oh I should do my toilet urgently as well. I forgot about that. I'm not going to be able to stream. The sad part is I used to upload videos on this when I was younger. Actually the upload is much better than what I used to use. Blender. There we go. I thought it was an alphabetical order but it is not. It wouldn't make it that easy on me. All right register. Nickname. Ninja. I don't know if I should be giving this website my thumbprint. I don't know if my guy even has thumbs to be honest with you. There are people already live streaming. Can I watch them? Hit streamer is like shrewd and typhoo and playing my favorite game too. Zortnite. Why is it all Zeds? Where's Zolmikeven? All right I need to toilet urgently. But I don't... Oh my god what happened out here? What happened to the sky? Is this just nighttime? Hello ice cream man. Just waiting outside my house. No I'm hungry though. I need food. Also I don't know if toilet 100 means that I really need to go or he just went. Oh an outhouse. Great. 10 bucks to use the toilet. Did he just watch me the entire time? Thank you for standing guard. Why don't you want to eat? You are hungry. It's even giving me alert you should eat food. Like I'm starving to death. I gotta eat something. God look at this house. Looks like it was made in Zortnite or something. Zamazore. That might be the place to go. Oh god damn it. This is just PC parts. Are any of these PCs edible? Like god your shoulders look as fucked as mine. Do I need these people edible? I could be the first cannibal streamer. I sense a gap in the market. Oh restaurants just jumped in their window. Please come back to work. I need food. I was about to say what happened to you but I'm pretty sure I knocked you down with my car. Oh music. This is a dealer apparently. I can't make bargaining because he has nothing to make bargaining with. I'm actually going to starve to death. Oh wait he bought ice cream now. Okay well they kept him going anyway. It stopped him from starving to death. What are my quests? I gotta find out fast before I die. Open the phone up. Uncheck first house from maps app. What does that even mean? Maps app. Uncheck. What? Huh. Hold on. Okay done. Okay I need to get a microphone and send all my money to bank and download OPS. I understand where they're coming from but did they really have to make the internet this slow when you're trying to download things? Like I open apps and then it actually like simulates my internet being slow so I just have to sit here and wait. Like how am I meant to stream? If this is my connection when I can't even open a web page. I need a microphone. Please be something cheap. Okay this economy just seems fucked. Like the state of the village and look at the price of the microphones. All right I guess I'm buying this one. $97 and apparently the sound is awful. I'm very hungry I have to eat. Oh god hold on let me send the money across and then I'll run outside for ice cream. He's gonna feed his entire family just by feeding me ice cream. I'm giving him a lot of money each time. This economy is just so fucked. Like an ice cream sandwich is $7.50 or I can buy an entire pig for $8.50 or dog food for $8 and brownies for $16. I'm just gonna add a few pigs to the cart and check out with that. Yes I'll take five pigs please. That was either my stomach or someone is in my house and is going to kill me. Oh Jesus Christ it is someone in my house. Hold on it's 6 a.m. Who's calling it's 6 a.m. Oh the pigs I ordered of course. I thought it was some weird like knock and dash kind of game they were playing. It just left the pigs on the floor and left in the grass. Oh that's so good. I need to buy a toilet apparently. Let me buy a toilet so I can go to bed. Why are the toilets so expensive? Burn a tire for your dream house. Yes sure sleep and save the game. Yeah better save my progress. A lot of important stuff went down. Where's my bed? Oh yeah it's on its side. Who knows why? I need to do my toilet urgently. Yeah but I didn't buy one yet so I'm just gonna sleep. Sleep it off he'll be fine. Nightmares are seen. He probably just had a dream about his day saw himself in the mirror. You should do your toilet. I want to but I'm waiting for it to be delivered because otherwise I have to pay that guy 10 bucks. Oh wait why is the microphone in the box that big? Never mind bring in the toilet. Quick quick quick quick quick quick just put it down. Yep yep use there you go right in the front door. Yeah that was a waste of packaging honestly. Okay all tutorial missions are saved. My toilet is in the way of my door and I can't get in and I'm ready to stream. I threw my mic and lost it. Oh no it's there okay good. All right am I ready to stream now? I think I am. I gotta get my feck in stream key. Oh my god this is really going in depth here. Should I try and get a job as well or should I just go all in on the streaming because it feels like a bad idea? You think you can make a living playing video games on the internet? Get a life kiddo. These all sound boring. I'll do a courier because that's not too many hours. I got a text message. Hold on it's like everything gone again isn't it gonna threaten me or something? Oh no it's the automated thing for my work. Okay never mind. I got so excited. I thought someone wanted to talk to me. All right let's start my stream. There we go. My first title is It's Me Ninja from the Twitch. Show cam. Show me. Do I not have a camera? I don't have a camera and no one's gonna want to watch me if they can't see my beautiful face. I'm already late for work. I'm missing my first day of work I think. But I have stuff to do. For a game called Streamer Life Simulator I haven't streamed once yet. I'm like 20 minutes into the game. Why are these so expensive? All right this one this is the cheapest one. It's still 112 bucks. Can I still make it to work or is it too late? Here wait one second let me eat an entire pig. Let's start at one. It's already three. Okay I don't think there's any point me showing up for work today. I've missed too much of it and I'll just spend money getting there just to waste my time. Oh look at that poster. Cool poster for room. God I want that poster in real life. A big smoke behind me. Is there anywhere I can bathe? I'm really stinky. Also in the game is there anywhere I can bathe? Okay I got my camera. I think I'm ready to stream. Oh wait where am I? Why cannot I see myself? Oh my god my drop frames. Okay maybe lower the quality a little bit. I'm on 480 already. Let's try 360. I'm on 144p and I still can't stream. No one is watching. Wait silently speak to yourself. Please talk. Oh chin chin he said drop. What band what are you talking about? You're speaking nonsense. My first donate. Beautiful girls add me. I am paying for this internet. Entertain me. Why are they donating? Where do I see this? Chat only stream? Video rendition stream? What is this? I don't know what a video rendition stream is but go. Oh they're saying drop because my drop frames. I thought they wanted drops like you can get on twitch. You know like you get in-game items and stuff. Oh I've earned three dollars not bad. Just stay live and I look into like a better setup. Hello have I missed cool thing? Oh trust me no cool things have happened. Do I want to talk about handsome streamers or beautiful streamers? I got a lot of variety here. What the hell? Like go away band. I don't take criticism well that someone is criticizing you. Give a serious answer. Wait why is there one just saying a horse? What is that website? I closed the stream because I was so tired. You weren't even interacting with them. Oh it's horse racing. Okay I thought I could buy a horse. I just realized I missed another day of work by accident. All right let's buy turbo internet. That'll help me out a lot. Oh wait I just bought it for one day and I'm done streaming for the day. God damn it. And I've been hacked now. Come on man what is this? Is this a hacker did my hardware fail? I'll feck off. Why are you hacking me? I didn't do anything. You've been hacked. You keep your assets. I'm so confused. I mean if I got my computer back I guess I'm happy. Let's place a bet since it seems to be my lucky day. 200 bucks. I'm pissed. Repeat. Yes! Okay now just repeat. And when I win one more then I'm ahead of the house. God damn it. Okay repeat. I'll just get back to even. Okay he won two hands. Okay I should quit. I should quit. I was gonna say I should quit while I'm ahead but no I'm way behind. I'm going to bed. Please leave me alone. I'm depressed. Nightmares are seen. His life is a feckin nightmare. Everything's going horribly. I just want to live the streamer life. When I eat a pig. Drown my sorrows by eating pigs. I mean they are probably pretty much liquid by now. They've been out in the grass for days. What time is it? Can I go to work today? I can. Alright let's go to work. I need to make some actual money so that I can blow it on Blackjack. Backing up. Watch out behind me. I don't know if you're behind me or not but my neck doesn't turn that far. Sorry. That ice cream dude must be so upset he's getting no business now. Since he's gotten into eating pigs instead of ice cream. Just a minor collision. It's fine. Is he running me off the road? Damn taxi drivers. All a conspiracy by big taxi to make sure people take taxis instead of driving their own cars. Right I'm here but I'm a bit early. Hold on let me let me see if there's anything else to do. Oh look at that anonymous. I'm gonna go confront them. They're only a hundred meters away. I will go deal with this rapscallion. Hello is this Mr. Anonymous? I have bone to pick with you. Hello Mr. Anonymous. All I can do is buy a Bitcoin miner. I don't have enough money. What is this? Are you using magic to power your internet I guess? Since I don't know how you're hacking people from this alley. Okay can you get out of me please? Thank you. Where's my job? Oh here it is. Great. Wait I actually have to do the job? Oh no I don't I just get paid for it. Nice. Oh my god where are you going? Wait where am I going? Hold on. All right we're as confused as each other. Damn city slickers. No idea where they're going. Ah Jesus. The roads are dangerous. Maybe I should take taxis. But this isn't the right way is it? God damn it I don't even know how to break. You know it says it right there. Yeah I went the complete wrong way for facts sake. Oh my god that's just in my map and a bus nearly drifting into me. Just going through the swamps. All right I've tried my hand out in the real world and it honestly I hate it. I'm just committing to streaming. I wonder if can I buy a game? I want to stream a game not myself because I'm not interesting. Counter-Strecker. Fall gang. The past of us. I'm going to go with Counter-Strecker. And it looks like my internet boost is already gone so let me go back and get another internet boost. No not Blackjack. 720p today now. This is going to be great. Okay I'm streaming my computer screen. This looks fucking awful. VanVie. Can I even go full screen? Wait let me just stand up from the computer a moment while it loads guys. I'll be right back to the stream. Just got to eat an entire pig. In fact I might have to just come back to the computer with an entire pig and eat it in front of them. Your health is at a very critical level and you've passed out. Wait I'm still playing Counter-Strike. Wait I actually get to play? I just ate a whole pig and then passed out on stream and then I just wake up and go right back to playing. Why is the cursor in front of it? I can't see. I don't think my computer is strong enough for this game. Don't worry though I got a donation. Please fix this drop. It should be fine. I got my connection upgraded unless I passed out and then the upgrade expired which is entirely possible. I did it. We won the round. Stop criticizing me. You're all banned. You look like my brother. I'm so sorry. I think my computer is locking up. My career as a streamer is never going to take off which is depressing because my career as a carrier definitely isn't going to take off. What a waste of money on that game. Oh my god 95% dropped frames. Oh yeah my connection ran out because I passed out. How long was I passed out for? Let's just leave that on idle for a second. It said I lost a thousand dollars for passing out as well but I don't think I had a thousand to lose. All right guys let's stream me. Can you see my browser now folks? You can? Oh yeah I can see it coming into frame. Let's stream me going on blackjack. Trust me I'm really good at this. I have 35 viewers. That's a new record. All of my followers are watching me. All right bet it all in. Yes. Yes 21. Read a message once in a while. Yeah sure. If I'm winning I'm in a great mood. Repeat bet. You got 23 he bust. I closed the stream because I was so tired. What? Oh my god how bad of a day can this guy have? Every day is just horrible. And I was mid hand on poker. I don't understand. NVLP. Okay NVLP. Hack blocked. Great hit me. 21. I am so good at blackjack. Bigger bet all in. I just need to win one hand and then I'm sorted for good. 21. Okay we're done. We're done. There we go 199 pinks. Yes complete payment. This should be enough to feed the entire village. Now we wait for the piggies. I'm gonna go take a nap. I probably should have bought a bath instead of all those pigs. My guy just reeks. Gonna listen to some royalty free music while I wait for my piggies. This is what YouTubers and streamers are into. All my piggies are here. Piggies. There's so many pigs. Come on everyone. Come eat some piggies it's on me. In fact please eat some piggies. I'm trapped in my house. Guys I have work please eat some piggies. He's too fully can't eat anymore. I'm trapped in my house. Please start eat some piggies. Oh no. All right well since I saved when I slept. My guy's forever trapped inside this house because of the piggies. He cannot leave. This safe file is ruined. But it was good while it lasted. You know I don't think he's a courier. I don't think he's a streamer. I think he's a gambler. So I guess he'll just go into a life of gambling and piggy eating. Yeah we'll leave it at that. I hope you enjoyed the video. What a wild game. I expected so little from this game. And I got so much more than I expected. Honestly there was so much to do. I'm really surprised. But yeah I hope you enjoyed the video. If you did I'd appreciate you checking out more of my content. If you want to see it I post every single day. I also have a second channel and I also stream over on Twitch. Despite what it looked like here. I actually do have some streaming experience. Yeah I hope you enjoyed. I appreciate you watching as always. And I hope to see you next time. Bye for now.