 Assalamu alaikum everyone, I apologize again for the late start, we have the kid that we do before we start these sessions and then we also have the prayer, so that kind of just takes a big chunk of the time, but inshallah we'll get at least 45 minutes to maybe an hour of lesson here. So the text, after we read the translator's introduction, now we're going to start with the introduction to purification, so I will be reading from verses 1 to 8. Okay, Bismillah. I begin by starting with the heart of beginnings, for it is the highest and noblest of beginnings. Have courtesy with God, the high and the majestic, by practicing modesty and humility. Out of shame and humility, humbled in awe, imploring him, by giving up your designs for his, emptied of covetousness for what his servants have, by hastening to fulfill his commands and by being wary of the subtle encroachment of bad manners. If you, the spiritual aspirant, realize your attributes of servitude, you will then be assisted with something of the attributes of the eternally besought. Realize your abject character and impoverishment, and you will gain dignity and wealth from the all-powerful. There is no salvation like the heart's salvation, given that all the limbs and organs respond to its desires. So we begin this chapter, the introduction on purification of the heart with courtesy. The Arabic equivalent is adab, right? The heart of purification. So Imam Mouloud begins his Arabic didactic poem with a play on words that is lost in translation. Beginning in Arabic is badou, and the word for heart, qalb also means to reverse something. Reversing the letters in the word badou, results in the word adab, which is the term for courtesy. And that is where this treatise begins, since courtesy is the portal to the purification of heart, of the heart. Adab in Arabic holds several meanings. In addition to courtesy, adeeb, a derivative of adab, for example, has come to mean an erudite person, someone who is learned as high manners and courtesy are associated with learning and erudition. However, the idea of courtesy is firmly established at the root of the word adab. Imam Mouloud starts his treatise with courtesy since excellent behavior and comportment are the doorkeepers to the science of spiritual purification. One must have courtesy with regard to God, behave properly with respect to his presence, if he or she wishes to purify the heart. But how does one achieve this courtesy? Imam Mouloud mentions two requisite qualities associated with courtesy. First is modesty, hayat, and then humility, vol. So again, in order to even embark on this journey of purification of the heart, the prerequisite is that you have adab with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. How do we have adab with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala? We start with these two qualities. We have to know, understand what the term humility, what the word humility means, and what the word modesty means. So both of these terms are prerequisites to even having good adab with Allah, which is the prerequisite to proper purification. Makes sense? Right? So let's define what these terms mean. Hayat in Arabic conveys the meaning of shame. Though the root word of hayat is closely associated with life and living. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam stated, every religion has a quality that is characteristic of that religion. And the characteristic of my religion is hayat, an internal sense of shame that includes bashfulness and modesty. As children, many of us had had someone say to us at times, shame on you. Unfortunately, shame has now come to be viewed as a negative word, as if it were a pejorative. Parents are now often advised to never cause a child to feel shame. The current wisdom largely suggests that adults should always make the child feel good, regardless of his or her behavior. However, doing so eventually disables naturally occurring deterrence to misbehavior. So this is an important distinction to make here. That this term shame, which we hear in our discourse, oftentimes does have a negative connotation, right? In this society, people don't look at that as being a useful thing. So it's usually seen as mentioned here as a pejorative, as something is negative, and therefore people stay away from it. But if you look around, you'll see that the result of having a society that doesn't have a concept of shame is that people become shameless, right? And we certainly see that in the behavior of many people. So just ignoring it or looking at shame as something that is no longer good or has any utility actually causes great harm as we're witnessing. Now, some anthropologists divide cultures into shame cultures and guilt cultures. According to this perspective, shame is an outward mechanism, and guilt is an inward one, which alludes to a human mechanism that produces strong feelings of remorse when someone has done something wrong. To the point that he or she needs to rectify the matter. Most primitive cultures are not guilt-based, but are shame-based, which is rooted in the fear of bringing shame upon oneself and the larger family. Islam honors the concept of shame and takes it to another level altogether, to a rank in which one feels a sense of shame before God. When a person acknowledges and realizes that God is fully aware of all that one does, says, and thinks, shame is elevated to a higher plane, to the unseen world from which there is no cover. At this level, one feels a sense of shame even before the angels. So, while Muslims comprise a shame-based culture, this notion transcends feeling shame before one's family, whether one's elders or parents, and admits a mechanism that is not subject to the changing norms of human cultures. It is associated with the knowledge and active awareness that God is all seeing of what one does, a reality that is permanent. The nurturing of this realization in a person deters one from engaging in acts that are displeasing and vulgar. This is the nobility of prophetic teachings. So, if you think about many of our cultures back home, usually shame is not focused on God, right, until maybe later. Or maybe it's the references mentioned, but really the more serious message is what will the people say, right? What will your family think? What will your elders think? What will so-and-so think? So, if that's how we're introducing shame, especially to young children, then of course, because they're vulnerable and they're also learning, then they will start to deduce that as long as those people never find out, it's okay, right? And this is where a lot of the secrecy and behavior that we obviously don't want our children to engage in will start because they're thinking if the problem is people finding out, then the solution is making sure they don't find out. But that doesn't help them in the long run, right? Because spiritually speaking, even we as parents, if we don't learn that it's more important to remove ourselves from the equation and to constantly reinforce the fact that God is watching, that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala is always present and you can't escape his knowledge, you can never do anything in secrecy to him, right? So regardless of whether or not I know or your father knows, your grandmother, your aunt, your uncle, this is the way that we teach children that don't let the knowledge of people dictate your behavior, but always think about the fact that the one who made you, right, and the one who created you, who gave you these incredible faculties that we take for granted all the time, right? We, a lot, many of us take for granted the healthy bodies that we have, right? The fact that we, you know, have, again, senses that are functioning. There are people, I mean, I knew someone who had, it was like a, I don't know if it was a triggered response to something, but now even with COVID, right? How many people have lost their sense of taste, right? Lost their sense of taste and smell, right? It's a horrible thing and I've seen some videos and some of the people are kind of like, you know, taking it like well, but other people are having breakdowns because they've forgotten what it feels like to enjoy, right? To enjoy the, to look forward to something. And if you think about like a lot of our pleasure as Muslims because we don't indulge in the haram and a lot of other things, it does focus around food, right? That's why our food is the best, right? Masha'Allah, like think about how much Muslim cuisine and from all different cultures, right? Is everybody's loves Muslim food, whether it's Desi, Avrani, Arab, it doesn't matter. It's just like, ooh, you know, it's always good. And if you go to a gathering, it's, that's usually what people are looking forward to more than even seeing people, right? They're like, ooh, I want to know what's on the menu. So food is such a nama, right? In our world, I mean in our lives because Allah swt is in his generosity, you know, he's made our palates able to appreciate so many different flavors. And so having that removed is a big test and trial and a lot of people don't think about that, right? Until you start to age, like when I talked to my mom or other elders, they always, they say always, like I have no appetite, right? How many of us have heard the elders say that because as you age, the flavors, you know, the tongue isn't working as well as like a little baby when you give them the smallest thing, it's all new, right? So they're very, it's very strong, they're receptors. Whereas we, that starts to weaken as we age. So these are things that we don't take, I mean, we take for granted. And that's why, again, you know, remembering that when you're teaching your children, you want to remind them of these things, always, right? Cause if you're helping them to numerate their blessings and then to realize like what a violation of trust it is to betray the one who created you, right? He created you in a perfect form and perfect fashion and then you go and you taint that, right? He's given you this vessel, right? This form and you just because, you know, there's temptation or you have an opportunity, you forget all about him and you just go do whatever you want to do regardless. That is how you teach children to not factor in mom, dad and uncle, grandma, but rather, okay, that's the guilty conscience you're cultivating, right? But it has to start from a very early age and a lot of parents, you know, this is one of the mistakes or blind spots we have is that we're too focused on us. Like I'll be disappointed, we don't want you to do that but rather we have to start reminding them about Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. So this is how Islam can differ from some of our respective cultures because Islam is always emphasizing shame before Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala and we have to re-adopt that because some of us, we've gone the other side, right? We're too focused and even maybe not so much like with, I mean, yes, with children but also in ourselves. If you really think about what concerns you with regards to your perception or how people perceive you, a lot of times it is what people will say about you, right? So we are too focused on people too, aren't we? That's a lot of our behavior is dictated by whether or not people will either accept us or because we don't want to be rejected. So it's one of those two things, right? I don't want to do something that's totally antisocial, weird or would make me look a little strange, right? I want to be kind of blend in. There are people who definitely have that philosophy. Just want to be under the radar. Don't want anybody to notice me, right? Because if they notice me and I'm too different then they may not like me. Or there's the opposite side which is I want to get in to the good graces or that circle or I want people to think of me a certain way. So we don't realize like how much of our energy is focused on constantly catering to what people think of us. And then what happens is the more we do that the less we're focused on Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and this is why you have nifak. Nifak is the perfect example of that, right? How does hypocrisy come? It comes because you're not even thinking about God anymore. You're too busy thinking about other people and you're social standing. And so the hypocrisy increases. So it's something to really think about when it comes to have we inculcated this sense of guilt, this conscience within ourselves. And if not, why? Why aren't we realizing that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is always watching and we can't escape his knowledge? So that's one side of the prerequisite of having adab of Allah is that you are very clear about this concept of modesty and having hayya and being willing to admit your faults and your flaws in that way of, you know, which extends to the next point, humility. So they do definitely tie into each other. So now Imam Ulud mentions that one should also have vud, right? Which literally means being lowly, abject or humbled. The Quran mentions that people who incur the anger of God have this state of humiliation thrust upon them. This humility or humbleness assumed before God is required for courtesy. Interestingly, the word munkasiran is translated as dejected, though it literally means broken. It conveys a sense of being humbled in the majestic presence of God. It refers to the awesome realization that each of us at every moment lives and acts before the august presence of the creator of the heavens and the earth. The one God besides whom there is no power or might in all the universe. When we seriously reflect on God's perfect watch over his creation and the countless blessings he sends down and then consider the kind of deeds we bring before him, what can we possibly feel except humility and shame? These strong feelings should lead us to implore God to change our state, make our desires consonant with his pleasure, giving up our designs for God's designs. This is pure courtesy with respect to God, a requisite for spiritual purification. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, none of you fully believes until his desires are in accordance with what I have brought. Being aligned and at peace with the teachings of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, which embody the legacy of the prophetic teachings of Nuh Ibrahim Musa Anisa Alaihi Wasallam, entails striving to free oneself of greed and refusing the ethic of doing something for an ulterior motive that is essentially selfish and dissonant with the teachings of God's prophets Alaihi Wasallam. A person not seeking anything from God's servants. If one wants anything, one should seek it from God, the sovereign of the heavens and the earth. The basic rule is to ask God and then work. That is, one should utilize the means, asbeb, that one must use in order to achieve something in this world. Imam Ulud then says that one should hasten to fulfill God's command and be wary of the subtle encroachment of bad manners, namely, faults that one is unaware of. Ahadith states that one of you will say a word and give it no consideration, though it will drag the person who uttered it through hellfire for 70 years. People often become so disconnected from prophetic teachings that they unwittingly inflict great harm upon themselves. It is comparable to a heedless person who finds himself in diplomatic circles laden with protocol, yet he makes horrendous breaches of protocol without realizing it. With regard to God, the matter is obviously much more serious as one's soul may be harmed by one's breaches. In this case, the protocol involves knowledge of God and what he has enjoined and prescribed. So much so, there's a lot here. And just to kind of again summarize the points that were made here. These qualities of haya and humility, how are they connected? Because a person who doesn't even have the internal mechanism of shame and guilt cannot then humble themselves, right? That's why there are psychopaths and sociopaths because they lack a conscience, right? They can act with impunity. They don't really care about whether or not they're hurtful or they cause harm because they're usually very self-serving people and they don't have a system or a conscience that tells them that what they're doing is hurting or harmful to people. So they just continue to act in their own interests. Whereas when you have a conscience, when you do believe in being accountable that you have a creator and that all of your actions are known to him and that he will hold you to account, you then, if you're doing, I mean, if you have this understanding correct, then that conscience from a young age will start to cultivate and grow and grow and grow as you grow in knowledge, as you grow in your understanding. And then you will learn through all of, through what I was addressing earlier, which is when you start to think about the blessings you have, right? It makes you feel guilty to act out, right? It makes you feel bad because you're doing this constant comparison or compare and contrast or just kind of like, you know, thinking about yourself from that perspective that Allah's given me so many blessings. How could I disobey him? How can I not pray, right? If you think about prayer and how little it requires of us really to pray, but that's all that Allah's asked us to do in terms of like our existence, right? Five prayers. I'm sure you've all heard the calculations before. Five prayers, 17 rakah, right? All together, how much time are we looking at? Maybe 25, 30 minutes, especially if we're all doing Surat al-Ikhlas, right? And falak and nas, right? Just zipping through, right? It's gonna take sometimes even less than 20 minutes out of a 24-hour day, not a lot to ask for. Yet look at how our nafs will make it like climbing a mountain, right? It's amazing, isn't it? The delusion of the human being in that. And I always like to, because I used to do this for myself too, call myself out when I would have those types of thoughts. Like, you're such a hypocrite because if you tell yourself, for example, like you're too tired to get up for Fajr or you're too exhausted to pray Isha, right? Because those are the two prayers, by the way, that the hadith say are the ones that make, that the one with Nifaq or Munafiq have the hardest time with, or Fajr in Isha. So it should really concern us if we start flaking on those two prayers because it requires the most. It's physically low energy in both of those scenarios, right? Waking up early out of bed or going late into the night and then you have to pray, it can be hard. So when I would think of those things, I would catch myself and I'd say that's such a lie because guaranteed if someone like a friend or whoever called me and said, hey, I just got an invitation to like, I don't know, some celebrity's house, but we have to leave right now. You gotta pack a bag or something like that would be dunya, like a dunya incentive, right? You're gonna go and, I don't know, be on some show or get some money or something. If it was an incentive or a reward that was worldly, how many of us would make excuses? Like, oh, I'm too tired, right? Because the immediacy of getting like, or the prospect of getting a reward or some worldly benefit is exciting. Our nafs is like, yeah, and then fatigue is out the door. But when it comes to prayer of Allah, like we'll tell ourselves all these things, justify things and you find people just, it's okay, tomorrow I'll do it, you know? No, that's your nafs, that's shaytan, right? But this is where the more and more you do that, hopefully that internal mechanism that was cultivated in your childhood starts to get better and stronger and you just start feeling bad about yourself, like man, why do I keep doing this? And then especially when Allah continues to give you openings, right? Because we'll be doing a lot of things we shouldn't be doing, but Allah's so generous. Continues to give us, how many of us, Alhamdulillah, have had really like any difficulty when you think of like the fact that we get, you know, food in our stomach every night, we have a nice warm place to live or sleep, you know, think of how comfortable our beds are, you know it, like when you get into bed at night, it's like, subhanAllah, I mean, how many of us truly appreciate that we have a comfortable mattress and amazing, you know, down feather pillow with like, I don't know, all the other stuff, how many thread, a thousand thread sheets, you know, like these hotel grade quality sheets and you're just slipping into bed and you're like, oh, and you can rest, but how many of us stop and think like, this was not even the experience of the most beloved of Allah subhanAllah, he slept on the ground and he would have imprints of the fibers, the palm fibers, indents into his skin, that was the way he slept and this is the beloved of Allah subhanAllah. So here we are enjoying our comforts and we forget that most people will never have the experience that we have. We are literally living like the elite of our time because I mean, how many of us like, you know, half of this room maybe or more is from Afghanistan, right? I have family there, I know what's going on there. Those people are in really dire straits as are many people, right, throughout the Muslim world and they haven't experienced even a fraction of the luxury we have, but subhanAllah, you'll find their E-men, right, very, very different, subhanAllah, may Allah protect and preserve them. But the point being is the more you start to check yourself and these like inconsistencies, idiosyncrasies, you should feel gross, like what's wrong with me? Why am I like this? I need to get rid of this hypocrisy in my heart and then from that, the brokenness before God, right? Like, yalla, I'm a sinner, I'm really low and you're so kind to me, you're so loving, you've given me family, you give me love, you give me friends, you give me food, you give me drink, warm clothes, comfortable clothes, gadgets, all these things that we have, you keep giving and giving, I'm so low, please forgive me, yalla, please forgive me. And in that brokenness, right, is where we start to tap into, you know, these what all of our prophets have taught us, right? All of, I mean, certainly, our Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, but all of these virtues that we want to possess, we can learn from their example. And so, and then, you know, this, on page four, when we got to this section, he addresses here that you start to, because you're in this abject state with Allah, seeing your own hypocrisy and then wanting to make him more pleased with you, then that's where you increase your adab with him, right? And the adab is learning the protocols of how to communicate with God, right? Just the same way like the example he gave here, which is people become so, right, disconnected that, oh, it's comparable to a heedless person. So if someone finds himself in diplomatic circles laden with protocol, what does that mean? Like just imagine you're thrown into a political event. They're all senators, governors, maybe even the president and the vice president, right? The Senate, the whole, everybody's there. You're thrown in there and you have to keep up with them, but you have no clue what you're doing, right? You don't know, you know, how to, what conversations are off topic, on topic. You don't know, like, you know, even, you guys know, like there's a lot of etiquettes and even pretentiousness in some of these places, right? Like you have to eat with, you know, certain forks and spoons, especially when you're dining. But just in general, like the way you move around in those circles, if you've never been trained, right, you wouldn't know what to do. So this is how we are when we don't understand adab with Allah. We're like floundering around, right? In somewhere that requires adab and we're making fools of ourselves, essentially, right? Cause someone who's kind of like doesn't fit will, you know, will make mistakes. They're gonna break protocol. That's what that means, right? So our deem teaches us when you understand that Allah swt has invited you to what, this banquet, right, on earth, then read about the protocol, right? How are you supposed to conduct yourself, right? Learn and then follow. You're having humility before him, having shame. These are all part of those things. And also watching your tongue, right? Which is why he mentions here that one of you will say a word and give it no consideration. Like we're so loose with our tongues. And now, and it's, the reason primarily is because we've fallen victim to this popular culture, this society around us, especially women, that has turned women's, you know, rights into something that suggests we just have to be loud, proud, you know what I mean? Just screaming at the rooftops, why? Like why is that, does that mean empowerment? According to who, right? Why does a woman have to suddenly flaunt it because she has it? That why does that translate into empowerment and why are we falling into that, right? So this is where we go back and say, whose criteria, right? Whose standards are we living according to? Because the standards of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la and His Prophecy of Islam are very clear, modesty. And that is not just for women, right? It's not just for women. Modesty is for men and women. But if we are buying into what society's telling us, we're gonna start to behave immodestly. And this can be not just in dress and speech in the way that we walk. I saw a video yesterday, or no, two days ago, it was on Instagram, it was a reel. And there were two of them, it was one after the other, but it was just so disturbing and I was so upset by it and I actually wanted to do a whole post and I just didn't get a chance to it. They weren't Muslim, these two women. These women were wearing leather, like a whole, I don't know what it's even called, but it's just leather, head to toe, tight. It's skin, it's just a layer of skin at this point, like latex, it almost looked like latex. And the whole video was them strutting from one place to the other. Every inch of their body could be basically seen. And all the comments are like, you go, girl, fire. And it's like, oh God, what is happening to our world? Why do we champion that? Why, that's such a horrible thing to tell a woman that you are only as good as how naked you are basically. That that's when you get praise and validation and you can take care of yourself, you can do all that, but you having to put it out there as though that's the only thing that is worthy for you or about you is just such a tragic thing, a message that so many women have bought into. And unfortunately, you're seeing even in Muslim circles these types of behaviors. A lot of the videos now, a lot of the pictures that people are posting, whether it's TikTok or Instagram or whatever, suggests that younger girls are falling into the same mindset, right? That I have to have a really tight fit OOTD and it's gotta have like, show how fit I am. Or like even some of these sisters may all protect them. I feel bad for them because I feel like they're falling into the narrative, but like, showing gym pictures or gym videos, like bro, you're wearing yoga pants. I don't need to see you turned over. Nobody needs to see the camera on that angle, but they're being conditioned that this is what will get you that platform, will get you relevancy, will get you those likes and followers, so go put your body out there. And so this idea of just forgetting that we have our own tradition, our tradition is very different. Our tradition says, this is very special, but not for everyone, right? It's special and you honor it. What you do is you work on this, right? This and this, this is what matters because this is what matters to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Your intellect, your ability to reason, your ability to have discourse, your ability to converse, your ability to talk about random topics to share. That's what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is impressed by, right? Your ability to make people feel comfortable. So if you have those skills of social skills, like if you hear me talking about emotional intelligence, right? The five qualities are what? Self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Social skills is huge. We've forgotten how important that is. Like that's why some of our culture is that, Alhamdulillah, may Allah protect the beauty of our cultures because hospitality, for example, right? Or just empathy, being able to receive people. So if you have that skill where someone comes into your space and you just are the most gracious hostess, you know how to just take care of their every need, that is something to be so proud of. Like it's not something that everyone has clearly, right? That's probably why everybody's always gravitating to you or wants to come over and hang out with you, right? Because they know that you're gonna give them that TLC, that tender loving care, whether it's cooking for them or just you have this way about nurturing people, right? Those are things that women have forgotten or our society doesn't really put much weight on those things, right? Like being a good homemaker is not even considered anything important anymore. Nobody even cares, whatever. As long as of course your home looks like it's a catalog home from Martha Stewart's, you know? Or then it's different. But I mean to say like to have that skill. So these are the types of things that, why are they important? Because they're prophetic. The Prophet's life said them, when he was with people, no matter what age they were, no matter what socioeconomic background, no matter what title they had, no matter what their skin color was, their education, it didn't matter. He was able to give them that, what we talked about earlier, that nava, right? That powerful glance that said, you matter, right? You're important. You are, I care about you. So to be able to do that is something that we should cultivate, not just focusing on the superficial that's gonna all go away. But these are character qualities, right? So that's why the content of our character matters. So that's one area. But just in general, being able to have again intellectual conversations, being a person who's spiritually devoted. Like if you can do, for example, there are many people, much all who fast Mondays and Thursdays, for example, consistently, or who have the kid that they do every single day without fail, they're on top of it. They pray they're at the Hajj. They're like very devotional people, right? Those are the skills that matter. Those are the things, the qualities that you should put more weight into as opposed to again the superficial, right? The things that are going to all dissipate and go away. We're all gonna be in the ground sooner or later. But those character qualities, that's what matters. So this is what adab with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala entails. It's that we realize our deficiencies, right? We are, we're humble enough to have that humility before Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to recognize our flaws. And because of that humility, we care to have better adab with Allah. And so then the better adab is, again, finding what are the protocols? How do I understand Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, right? Who is he to me? Because again, look at the culture around us. How is God spoken about? I mean, to me, it's very cringe the way people talk about God in the society. I mean, it's not, they can say whatever ideas of God they have, but that's not who, that's not for the way we are taught to speak about God. It's offensive, isn't it? When you see all these horrible jokes, for example, memes, I mean, just people can be very low, you know? Or for example, giving Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala any type of human-like qualities, right? Like one of the things that really bothers me is when people say like the man upstairs, no. We don't, like, and but I've heard Muslims say references like that. It's like shocking to me, like what? Why would you say something like that? Because we're not paying attention, like, that's not, first of all, we don't believe in that, I mean, even, there was a very famous female politician who straight up called God a she. She called her a woman. She said my God is a she. This is a Muslim. She's known. So this is dangerous. We cannot allow for our, you know, umma to start to slip in this way where we don't even have the basic apida to know that anthropomorphizing God, right? Speaking about Allah in human-like, with human-like qualities or traits is wrong. You can't do that. So, adab with Allah is a very, you know, it's a big topic, but it is the prerequisite to this entire science, right? If you can't start off with that, then trying to work on purging diseases or defining diseases, you're not gonna get very far. So you need to work on that first. Yes, absolutely. 100%. Exactly, because that conscience gets built, right? I mean, if you can do it with Allah, then obviously you're going to remember that because I'm so concerned with pleasing Him, I have to be very careful with how I treat His creation because He will hold me to account. So I can't just, you know, have, you know, speak, I like, you know, inappropriately to someone, yell at someone, be impatient, be rude. Like I can't let myself go with His creation because that is fundamentally displeasing to Him, right? And if I'm so concerned with pleasing Him, then it's like this trickle down, you know, in terms of all of my behavior will be impacted, right? Because the ultimate objective is His pleasure. So absolutely. And that's why it makes the most sense because we haven't inverted. We're too worried about pleasing people, right? We make a bunch of mistakes and then with our tail between our legs we run and we're like, oh God, forgive me, forgive me, you know? And we're embarrassed in front of Him, but then because we don't have the order correct, we fall into the same patterns over and over. And this is what we call like the khutuwat of shaitan. Shaitan, he has tricks and, you know, the devil's dupery, there's a lot of different terms for it, but his process is by step by step, right? Khutuwat is like step by step, incrementally, he kind of, you know, makes you slip, but it's because there's no logic to our behavior, but we get caught up in certain behaviors, they become habits, and then we're not even rationally thinking about what am I doing? If this is so wrong, until it's pointed out to you and then you're like, oh yeah, why am I doing that? But these are how we fall into these traps. So when you go back to the correct order, you realize no one, not mom, not dad, not husband, not sister, not brother, nobody, mother in law, I don't care, whoever, nobody matters more than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And he, if I make him my criterion for everything, then subhanAllah, out of his father, everything else will fall into place, because he says that if you put my pleasure before the pleasure of people, I will be pleased with you, and because of that, the people will be pleased with you. You see? But if you put the pleasure of people before my pleasure, they will never be pleased with you and I will be displeased with you. So we are constantly shooting ourselves in the foot because we got the order wrong. Like, people have become people-pleasers, whether they know it or not, because that term is also misunderstood. You think of a people-pleaser, you think of someone who's always like, oh, you know, like pathetic kind of. But no, people-pleasing is constantly thinking, I need to follow the trends. I need to like be relevant. I need to like be cool. No, why? Why do you need like, the beautiful thing about Islam is that you're, like I said, you're free of all that, those shackles of being confined by trends and like going this way and that way, and you become so autonomous and independent that it doesn't bother you. That's why towards the end of the time, the Prophet's lesson said that we will be like what? Like the strangers, right? The hurabah, the ones that look a little off, eccentric. So like if people think you're kind of weird because you have your foot in the sink and you're making will do at work, let them think you're weird. Just be like, yeah, I'm weird. I like my feet clean, you know? Do you know how many weird things these people do? I mean, seriously, like we could have a real big discussion about weird. That's not weird, okay? Or even like, you know, lota jokes. I'm always like, I can't believe that's even a debate. Like I can't believe that people don't see, you know, like the fact that we do istinjah, right? That that makes perfect sense because you'll have people on the other side who actually, I've read people say this, like it's disgusting, you guys are gross. And I'm like, come again? Like you, because we clean ourselves after using the restroom with water, we are gross. Like how does that fit into any logic, right? But because again, it's not something normal to them. They don't even understand how it's done. They just look at it and think it's weird. They've actually convinced themselves that we're the weird ones. That's like amazing, isn't it? So this is why we can't let people dictate to us how we should be because you've got people who make no sense whatsoever, you know, coming up with the standards. No, our standards are perfect. They're from God. So these are the standards that we wanna live by. Yes, unbelievable. Isn't that unbelievable? Subhanallah. And then when you break it down to them like, okay, so if you accidentally, you know, stepped in that with your bare foot, like let's say you were at the park and you were to cut your shoes and would you just go and wipe it? And like, no, of course not. I would go wash it and I'm like, okay. So explain the difference. Like it just makes no sense. But anyway, you know, these are the things when we get into these, you know, mindsets, right? Where it's like my way, then people become very tribal about these things. But logic should obviously, if you're using your reasoning skills, it'll just start to make sense. But the point being here, that we have to be free of wanting to follow trends and people please in any which way and think always that if I focus on pleasing Allah, then all the people, all the things that I want out of life are gonna fall into place because it's with his father, right? He's so happy with you that he will give you the Tawfiq. But when you're out there chasing everybody else and you're distracted from him, then you know, you're going to have a difficult life. And this is what a lot of people do. They end up never being satisfied, never being happy because their focus was always on someone else, something else. And Allah will test us until we wake up and we realize nothing is more important than Allah. And then SubhanAllah, the ease will come. So, Alhamdulillah. For today, that's, we'll end here, but if there are any questions, inshallah, I'm happy to, or any comments? Yes? Nice. Totally. I'm with you. SubhanAllah. Allahu Akbar. Mashallah. No, that's amazing. That's a beautiful testimony. And actually I've heard many people say that I did the same thing. I went through the same purge. I can't handle music now. I really can't. And if I even try, it always has to have some spiritual element. I can't just do like the whole, I don't know, maybe for five seconds and I'm like, I don't know. But that's awesome. Mashallah. May Allah give you Tawfiq. Alhamdulillah. Well, because you chose God, you're like Allah. And the thing is with music, like we don't realize music. Yes, it's exciting. Okay, trust me, I had the days. I was, I don't want to put this on the recording, but let's just say I had days. Okay, I had days. So I know how exciting and music can amp you. But that's actually one of the reasons why I think we should be a little bit, you know, cautious that you can see like what happened to that Travis, Scott concert, people lose their mind because music can be such a force that you can fall into these ecstatic states which aren't always like, when we talk about heightened spiritual states, we also have to factor in the demonic element, right? So you see people actually in like these raves or concerts, what's happening to those people? You know, and they're not all on mushrooms or ecstasy or LSD or whatever we, they're not all doing drugs. Some of them are just like, the music is speaking to them something. And I'm like, wow. So to me, I feel like we have to be very careful because I would much rather be induced in a state like even this reciter may Allah bless him. Like there's certain recitations, you know, that Qari Amr, hear him anytime he'll get my heart like melted, right? I would much rather have like the Quran or Nashid put me in that state of like just like melting, you know, because it's beautiful sounds, obviously it's the book of Allah. Like Misha Ali Fasi, I mean, I was telling my husband the other day, I'm like, I cannot imagine the rewards on that man's scales. Like I honestly, and he's like, yeah, I think about it too. I'm like, no, I really cannot imagine because like millions of people listen to him. He's on all the apps, right? Can you imagine being him? Like, and if you go to his Instagram, it's kind of strange because my kids like love him. I went to his Instagram and I was like, okay, I'm not ready for this. He was like wearing like a jacket, a parka, and like a beanie, and I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I need to preserve you as, you know, sheikh leading a prayer, but he was like on a boat, like enjoying a vacation in Italy or something. I was like, this is way too chill for me. I need to just, but anyway, like I think of that man and I'm just like, Allah knows what, you know, he's gonna receive on the next world. I'm just, I wanna, I really wanna see because I'm like, I just think about him and I have my own reasons too. Like personally, he had a big part in my journey, so subhanAllah, but I love that you shared that. Thank you. MashaAllah, may Allah give you topiq. Did I see another hand on this side? I thought it's someone else, maybe? Yes, I wanna tell you. Absolutely, yes, right. No, it's an excellent point because self-governance, yes, depending on the context with which you're defining those terms, it can take a different, you know, form, but the way that, like you beautifully said, so first you have to understand that we have, like where Islam defines the human being as triune, right? So it's really essential to understand that. What does that mean? Allah SWT has given us the intellect, right, which is the reasoning capacity, and then he's given us emotions, which are useful, right? They have a utility to them and they help us with certain emotions are certainly necessary, right? And then we have appetites. And those appetites are to help, you know, us with our, I mean, just to survive, right? So we need to, for example, eat, drink, sleep, procreate, all of those things are necessary for our survival. So emotions are useful. They're kind of like tools that we use, you know, in relationships and even in, for example, you know, like anger, anger is a very useful emotion at certain times, but it has to be trained. So Imam Al-Ghazali will use different, well, he uses the, like the ruler as an analogy for the intellect and then he uses either a dog or like a wild beast for the emotions, because kind of like a guard dog, right? A guard dog is only useful or a hunting dog is only useful if you can let it go and then it comes back to you, right? So emotions are like that. Emotions, you have to be able to use them but you're controlling them. If you're not, they can wreak havoc and a lot of the reasons why we have chaos in the world is because people have no regulation of their emotions, right? So that, the hunting dog or the, is a good analogy and then the pig is the analogy for the appetites, right? So you wanna think about those three. Now with self-governance, what we teach and what Adab really is, is learning that just like in, you know, like Shahamza will point out, the crown, the head is on top for a reason because this is supposed to be governing the emotions and the appetites but our world today, everybody's basically upside down because what are the two areas that people feed the most, right? They feed their desires, right? So and look at the order, our stomach, our private areas, they all go south, right? And then the heart is in the center. So emotions are certainly useful but again, people are unhinged now. There's no control, there's no reasoning that's governing emotions. So you have a lot of triggered people, right? People who get offended at the slightest thing because they're not learning how to discern things, how not to take offense to everything that people say, right? They're not learning those things. They're just learning that if you can, you know, become triggered, maybe, you know, like, I mean, what you see unfolding in social media and other places all the time is people will weaponize emotions because they're realizing like, I can do that, right? I can say I'm offended because so-and-so at work said something to me, get them fired. Oh, okay, so that's a power now I have. So people are using these things in the wrong way because there's no governance. So what self-governance is, is having the intellect always dictating to the emotions and the appetites and having balance. And if you can do that, you will have naturally, a byproduct is you will be in equilibrium, right? Because you're able to control yourself. So if someone cuts you off on the freeway and you are reasoning by saying, what would Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala want me to do in this incident, right? I'm not gonna let my emotions get the best of me because nobody wants to get cut off on the freeway. It's very easy to react, right? To be a reactionary person. So you can go cut them off, honk, go flip them off, go do all that stuff. But a reasoning person will say, this is a test, right? Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, every event in our lives is a test. And I need to display good adab. So I need to be patient. Nobody got hurt. Maybe the person had an emergency. Maybe they made a mistake. People make mistakes on the freeway or on streets. I don't need to take it personally and I don't need to react and I don't need to now become unhinged, right? So this is what a reasoning person who can govern their emotions will do. They will try to process the situation. Always, why? Because as we're taught, when you have awareness of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in your life, every moment you're thinking of Him, whether it's a conscious act or subconsciously you're just aware. Like I need to check myself, right? That's why, by the way, for those of us who wear the hijab is an amazing blessing and we should never forget that. To wear the hijab, why is it a blessing is because it's an immediate reminder to you that you're a Muslim, people are watching. So when you go out, you gotta check yourself and don't just become unhinged, right? Because anonymity affords people to do a lot of things, right? Think about that. I mean, even on the opposite side, I remember when I first went to Saudi Arabia, I was kind of bothered by the fact that everybody's wearing the hijab and I can't see nobody, right? Because I'm like, some of these guards are not nice. And I can't even identify which one offended me or you can't do anything. So anonymity can go both ways. Like when you're totally now with masks, right? A lot of people have become emboldened because it's like nobody thieves, right? Nobody can see me in the cameras. So anonymity isn't always good. And that's why Allah says when you wear hijab, there's that benefit of people recognizing you, right? You're a fellow Muslims, right? I mean, you see it. It's like, I'm sorry, we don't even know that, but you get that affinity. But also the reminder that, hey, you're Muslim, I'm watching you, which is like, oh yeah, I better, you know, self, gather myself, right? So it's a big blessing that a lot of sisters we forget. So Alhamdulillah. But that's one of the ways that anything that can remind you of Allah like regularly is a big blessing. So if you have coworkers or friends who check in on you, if you have an app that pops up in a hadith reminder, say Alhamdulillah or put one on your app because sometimes people don't think about these things, but like, you know, these devices can be obviously destructive, but they can also be very beneficial. Like let's say this has happened before, right? Like you're upset with someone and you're about to go send them a message. And then all of a sudden, Adhan app, right? Like the Adhan goes on or like there's a hadith that says, you know, none of you will love or be, none of you will have perfect faith until you love for your brother, you'll love for yourself or something like that where it's like, okay, nevermind. I, you know, so they can be quite useful, right? Because we're so forgetful. That's the biggest, you know, or one of the biggest problems of the human being is that we're so forgetful that in each passing moment, we could be absorbed, totally engrossed in something, feeling it and then the next minute, again, a message pops up and we're like, oh, watching some random TikTok, you know, people doing something ridiculous, right? What happened to that? How? You just had five minutes ago crying, you know? But this is how, you know, we're too inconsistent, but the point being again, reminders, anything that can keep you in check to have your rational mind aware that Allah is with you always. He tells us he's closer to you than your regular vein. Every single secret, every single wish, desire that you have that you've never even vocalized to the universe, Allah knows it already. Who are you hiding from? So if you're aware of that, then you're always like, okay, I can't do this. What am I thinking? So a perfect example of this, it happens to me a lot, unfortunately. I have a terrible memory problem and we're all afflicted with thoughts in our prayers. So sometimes when I'm praying, I will literally forget, did I just do three or four raka, right? And we know what to do, right? When you have memory laps, you can do the sajda. But there are times because the nafs is so destructive and the nafs will never tell you to do what's in your best interest. The nafs will never tell you to do what's in your best interest. It will always give you the easy route. So let's say you do the sajda, but then you kind of realize like, you know, you made a mistake. You just don't feel good, right? But there's times where if you don't learn to do this properly, you'll just go about your day. So you know, in my youth, yeah, okay, I did my sajda that was good enough. But now if I'm certain that I made that mistake and I don't even know sometimes, like if I'm, you know, like it just depends. It's happened to me before where I'm like, did I even omit a sura? Like I don't know. My mind went totally blank. So now if I have even that bit of shak, I will do the entire prayer over again. Because I'm like, what games am I playing, right? I wanna make sure my prayer is quality. I wanna make sure that when I do the prayer that I'm not just handing in like the messiest, you know, homework assignment, right? Like, oh my God, I'm just, who did? Like when did that become acceptable with our prayers? But how many of us do that? You know, this is what we do. We just turn in whatever it is. Yeah, exactly. Or you get that really nice teacher who just is always giving everyone A's. You're like, yeah. But what does that say about your ethic, your work ethic, if you're just gonna turn in sloppy things? So this is what adab of Allah is, just starting to realize like, I need to be better. I need to just refine myself and give better quality and start to really hold myself to a higher standard because Allah's deserving of that. What am I thinking? You know, why am I willing to give everybody else the most perfect, polished things, right? Like, we wouldn't give a gift to someone with a torn bag, like raggedy, you know? Nobody would do that because we'd be like, oh, here's my perfect gift. I want you to be impressed by me. But with Allah, we're willing to give the substandard and this is a flaw within us. So this is why adab with Allah is knowing that that's just not good enough and he deserves the best, right? But it takes time to develop that and it starts with those two qualities. We have to start with modesty and humility. Start to look inward and be like, man, I'm a loser and it's okay to say that. You know, I know in this snowflake culture, it's like, no, no, no, you're not a loser. But no, if you've been like doing things, you've lost agir, so look at it that way because loser doesn't have to be like the end, right? We're not saying that you're a lost cause. You're a loser in the sense that you've lost a lot of opportunity for benefit and reward. So let yourself feel like a loser once in a while. It's okay, you know? And inshallah, Allah will make you a winner because of that, you know, that's our hope, inshallah. So any other questions? Ladies, I'm sorry, I've kept you longer than the time. Yes? There you go. You know what? I think we all need to do this. I like this and all of the people on the camera are only gonna see me. But I like this, Madhya-jan, that we all just admit we are all losers, you know? We really are. But Allah is so generous because when you admit that, that's the thing is the fact that we can admit that makes you a winner. That's the amazing thing about Allah because the true losers are those who don't even see the fact that they're losers. No, it's, our world is so distracting. And I feel like we all have, I know I have a level of ADHD, I'm positive, right? I mean, I do, I'm like, I can't, I was telling someone earlier, I'm like, I don't know when this became the thing, but I cannot for the life of me watch anything on television without this thing in front of me. And I don't, first of all, like TV or film or anything, but if I'm watching something, I will always take out my phone in two seconds and I'm like, what is the problem with me? Why can't I just let it go? But it's like, I have to have both. I don't know, right? It's very weird. I don't know, I remember a time where these didn't exist and you could sit through the entire film without even once thinking about the phone. But now, yeah, I know, you had to go, we lived in the era of pay phones. I don't think you guys even know what that is, these young kids. You have to have quarters. And if you didn't have change, ain't nobody listening to you unless you did the 100 collect, you know. But like, yeah, there was that. Exactly, but, oh yeah, no, we all did it at some point. But like theaters, you know, now like you go and they give you those, like even on the theater, like turn off your cell phones, but you always see those people in the audience. So I think we all have a form of, you know, AD or ADHD and that's why we're really, and then on top of that, naturally we're so forgetful, so our prayers take a hit, but alhamdulillah, Allah is so merciful because the fact that we catch ourselves, that's what's beautiful, is that in catching yourself, showing remorse, showing contrition, trying to redo your prayer, it's such a beautiful act of ubudia because you're like, y'all I am a loser, but I'm trying, right? And that's so beautiful because it's accepted. It's, you know, you could have just taken the shortcut in the easy route, but you want to be better. Exactly. Yes, yes, mashallah, beautiful. And I agree 100%, because this whole, you know, the reason why we do the tekbir is to say that everything, nothing matters, Allah is the greatest, right? You're saying Allah Akbar to what? To the fact that nothing in dunya compares. So it is a very powerful act and state of mind to get into. I think the other thing that does help when I, because inshallah you can try different things, but closing your eyes at certain times. Also, even when was it yesterday? At some point, I pray, oh yeah, yesterday at my mom's, she had a prayer rug with the kaba on it. So if you've been to Hajj and Umrah, I do think having that visual is helpful because I was like, oh, I can, I'm a visual person. So as soon as I, I don't have one, I don't think in my house that has one, but as soon as I prayed on it, I was like, subhanallah, even though this is just an artist, you know, it's like a drawing, I actually can imagine the kaba because my mind can take me there. So I think, you know, mashallah, there's, you know, prayer rugs that have these things also, you know, as I mentioned, closing your eyes. So there's different things that we can do, but it's a jihad, right? This is part of our struggle. Yes. Yes. No, that's beautiful. And you just reminded me, the other thing that has helped me is to have an order of surahs that I'm saying, because if you remember, for example, at Fajr, which two surahs you recited and you have a certain order, then you won't forget because you'll remember the order. If it's random, I think for me, if I randomly am picking a surah on the spot, I'm gonna be like, wait, which one did I do? But if I already have a plan, which is now, I don't know what I do, I'll have a plan, like for this prayer, I'll do this particular surah and then I'll kind of go in sequential order, like down. So then I know what I've done. So I feel like that's also, I mean, these little mashallah tweaks, but this is what, to Allah, it's beautiful that we're even trying all these things because we're saying like, we're trying, we fail, we're not, you know, where we need to be, but we're trying because we love you and you deserve the best. That's it, well, we have, you know, people need to know there is like a shaytan that's dedicated to distracting us in our prayer. That's its whole function. So that's why you'll get random memories from like 1996. You're like, what? Why am I remembering that right now, right? Because it's gonna remind you. So, you know, we have to take these measures but also take it easy on ourselves, not to get too, you know, hyper critical where it becomes a barrier, like, oh, I'm such a loser and I don't even wanna pray anymore. No, that's clearly shaytan. But, you know, this concept again of adab is just being so concerned about these things. That is adab. Like, to have concern at this level, you know, it's showing that you actually care and you want to do right. And I think that's the sad state of the world today is that a lot of people have forgotten about God. They don't even care, they don't mention Allah. And I'm not just talking about non-Muslims even in our own community of a lot of people who are like, you know, I may Allah guide us, but it is the reality, alhamdulillah. So, yes. So it depends on which fiqh you follow but in the Hanafi fiqh, if you, you know, go into the last raka'a and if you, let's say, it depends honestly what you forgot because there's certain things if you forget, like if you forget to do Fatiha, you have to do the entire prayer over again. So you have to go in and look at, you know, what the fiqh that you follow stipulates but if you don't, if you did, for example, one extra raka'a or one less and you're not sure, you should certainly do one more. If you think you've, if you're on the third, sorry, the fourth raka'a, but you think you're only on the third, you should do an extra one. So you should have at least, even if you did five, it's okay, it's better to do more than less, right? And then in the last raka'a, you would do a sajda sahu which is like a, like when you forget. So you'd actually, I mean, this is according to the Hanafi fiqh. So you would say the atahiyyat, right? And then as soon as you say, As-shadu an la ilaha illallah wa as-shadu an Muhammad Rasulah, then you turn to your right, you give the salam and you would do two sajdas to replace what you forgot, right? From the, like if you did the misr raka'a and then you would start all over again from the atahiyyat, all over again. So if you, again, this is according to the Hanafi. So if you follow a different fiqh than they have, I think in the Shafi, it's you do a full salam out and then you do a sajda at the end. So it's a little different, but according to the fiqh. So that's, you know, the case of if you added a raka'a. But again, depending on what you omitted or what you added, like if you moved from one place to another, there would be different rulings. So yeah, yeah, if you added, then you should stand back up and continue the rest of your prayer. Cause that's like adding is different than omitting, right? Cause if you omit something, then it's again, depending on what you omitted, you would have to compensate for that, right? But if you just accidentally added too much, then just get up as soon as you remember and make the, you could do the sajda just. You can, yeah, you can do the sajda for mistakes if you want to. But additions for my recollection, if you're adding something that's not considered something that you'd have to subtract or do the sajda for, it's when you omit something, then you'd have to go back and you do a sajda. So in that case, if you're just like, oh wait, what am I doing? You just catch yourself, move back in, do the regular prayer, finish it, inshallah. But these are things that again, all of us are gonna have to, I mean, we all struggle with, but the beauty is that there is a protocol, a way to correct even in the midst of your prayer. And then even afterwards, if you're not satisfied and you think, you know what, I rushed that, I wasn't really present, I wasn't really thinking, I should just redo the prayer, right? That would be even better because you really realize the quality of it wasn't, it was compromised, that was a compromised prayer. Yes, I did it, I fulfilled it in the time, but I could do better, right? So that would be the better thing to do, inshallah. Alhamdulillah. Any other question? It kept you a while, so we'll go ahead and end in dua, inshallah. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Wa la'asir inna l-insana la fi khusir illa alladina amanu wa amiru s-salihati wa tawasub al-haqi wa tawasub al-sabr SubhanakAllahumma wa bi-hamdika shadu an la ilaha illa an tanas taqfiruka wa natsubu ilayk Allahumma salli wa sallim wa baraka ala Sayyidina wa Maulana wa Habibina Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam wa ala alaihi wa sahbihi wa sallam taslimin kathira Subhanur rabbika rabbal azzati amma yusifun wa salamun a'la al-mursaleen wa alhamdulillahi rabbal alameen Alhamdulillah. JazakAllah khirin.