 So, I'm going to talk about doing the work of Byron Katie on yourself because there are two types of thoughts that we can bring to the work, the first being thoughts about myself, such as, I'm not good enough, I have to change to find happiness, I'll never be happy. These are painful thoughts and beliefs we have about ourselves. And that's in comparison to painful thoughts we have about other people or external situations, such as, John isn't considerate or she betrayed me or my job is deeply unfulfilling, I'll always be poor. So these are thoughts that are about the self and thoughts about other people and situations. And the reason I'm talking about this is because if you want the work of Byron Katie to be effective to get the best results out of it, to really get in touch with the transformational potential in the work, you will have a choice to make. Do I do the work on myself, beliefs about myself or about beliefs around other people and external situations. So I'm going to tell you when you should do the work on yourself and when you shouldn't do the work on yourself. Doing the work on yourself can be helpful when you keep it short. Now when you do the work, you're invited to fill out a sheet and it could be a sheet about around one belief and it can be quite long. When you're doing the work on yourself such as I'm not lovable or I am unworthy, I'm not good enough. If you fill out an entire sheet about this, it's too long because it can become like almost, it's overpowering and it becomes a form of self attack almost. So I would definitely say if you are going to do the work on yourself to just do one belief at a time, keep it short. The benefits of doing the work on yourself is that it can give you a sort of a, it can get you in touch with your own innocence. It can give you a positive feeling about yourself that's maybe missing. So from time to time it's absolutely okay and Byron Katie has said this herself that yeah it's absolutely fine to do the work on yourself but that brings us to the second kind of point to this video here and that's, it's usually far more effective to do the work on other people or on external situations like we talked about before. Why is this the case? Well first of all the reason people kind of I feel want to do the work on themselves and not on other people or external situations is very, very important. Why do we want to do it on ourselves? Well people say things like well I can't find a person in my life that has frustrated me or disappointed me or I'm, I can't, I'd seem to find a belief about an external situation that I'm upset with but there's plenty about myself that I need to work on. This is very, very interesting. The reason is because why we do this is that we are actually in denial about the fact that we do have things in our life that we're upset with. Why are we not aware of that? Well it's because of our upbringing. We have an internalised authority figure that when we were younger you know we may have learned things that you don't complain, get over it, get on with it, okay? Now we internalise that voice and we live our lives not complaining even though underneath we really do hold a grievance about a person or situation. We're not in touch with our complaints. We tell ourselves that we are accepting of other people and of reality as it presents itself but in truth this acceptance is really just a resentment of reality. So you'll see that if we're going to do the work on other people and external situations we have to get in touch with our inner child who perhaps was not supported or wasn't reasoned with, wasn't encouraged to see the potential upside in our disappointments at the time and maybe given alternatives that would help us through. So we have to become very aware and this is not easy realising how childish we can be and that it's okay to be childish. We want to be childish. We want to complain. We want to find things that we genuinely feel a grievance towards and that's a big step. That's a big step. An example I tell people sometimes is I found one myself and it was I was driving home from work and I had this feeling that it was something not right. I wasn't feeling good emotionally so I checked in with myself and I was sort of encouraged the feeling to say what it wanted to feel and because I was on this journey home it was a long journey the feeling was this journey should be shorter. Now my immediate reaction to that was this is childish okay just ridiculous okay but I stopped for a moment and said this is the entire point of the work. There's a feeling there from that belief and if I'm going to brush it off as childish I'm not doing the work. I'm not allowing myself to complain so I'm inviting you to allow yourself to be totally childish to allow yourself to fight with reality as it presents itself to you because when you have the work you now have a way to process disappointments that you didn't have before so you actually want to be looking for the disappointments. You want to be looking for the grievances and disappointments you have with other people and situations in your life. There are far more perspectives to be gained than insights to be gained about yourself and how to live your life by doing the work on these things rather than just on yourself. For instance if you just do the work on yourself and you're familiar with the work you'll know what I mean by this there isn't one of the turnarounds is not available to you okay you can't do a turnaround to the self for instance you will be able to do those with situations and other people so the point of doing these to work on other people in external situations is that it reveals to us hidden projections that we have that we're totally not aware of we can't do that with ourselves really. Another thing I'll say about doing the work on yourself is that we're very aware of what's wrong with other people and other situations. We're not so good at doing that with ourselves because we are more in touch with our own justifications and reasons for our behavior than we are about other people's justifications so when you do the work on yourself your mind can play tricks on you okay it can be it can have you running around in circles so if you are going to do the work on yourself just make sure that you're very skilled with it and by that I just mean that you've got an awful lot of experience with it or that you're doing it with maybe a facilitator someone like that maybe a therapist or a counselor so to sum up here I'm going to say I want this video is basically to encourage you to do the work of Byron Katie because it is a fantastic process and why I'm talking about the difference between doing the work on yourself and other people in situations is that if you would just do the work on yourself you will probably be left disappointed with the process of the work you will feel that it's not that important for me it doesn't give me great insights it doesn't give me emotional release when in truth the real profound emotional release and self-awareness is gained through doing the work and other people and external situations so if you start to do that and get honest with yourself and allow yourself to complain you will find that it does work and you'll be more motivated to do it because you're finding I have something in my life that allows me to process disappointment to get over grievances and move forward happily with my life so guys a few thoughts from me on the work of Byron Katie hope that helps and if you like this video you can like it you can subscribe to my channel all that great stuff and you can contact me at my website if you'd like to work with me or take one of my online programs thanks so much for watching and I will talk to you again soon