 It's May 19th, 1999. I'm in the eighth hour of my wait for Star Wars Episode 1, The Phantom Menace to Start. The people here are restless and mostly overweight men in their 30s. I'm a spry 16-year-old in the Optimus Prime of my life, a life that really has all led up to this moment, sitting on a sidewalk, playing cards with a buddy while plastic lightsabers swing all around me. Most will go home after the show and masturbate to images of Padme online. I'm not ashamed to say, I'll be one of them. It's been 16 years since Return of the Jedi and nothing was going to stop this experience from being anything short of amazing. I see my social studies teacher is in the queue a few yards up. The guy's a complete tool, but damn it he's got good taste in film. Only one hour to go before midnight. It's cooled off a lot outside, which is good. I don't think I could stand to look at one more hairy-backed Sasquatch in a tank top. Most have now covered up in a blanket or ceremonial robe they purchased for the occasion. I wonder if the movie's going to start with the classic title crawl or do something completely different. I remember the feeling I had when school started that morning. My buddy Tim Brown smiled and pointed at his Star Wars tee when I entered the classroom. I didn't myself have a Star Wars shirt. My frosted tipped hair already solidified my cool factor, more than any simple garment could. The day was a blur as I sped from class to class, watching the clock like a cat, stalking the hands as they slowly ticked down the day. The cafeteria was all a buzz with speculation and conversation about the film. The popular girls were too school for cool to talk Star Wars. By the time the bell rang, I was fully erect and ready to burst into the theater. Unfortunately, I had roughly nine hours before George Lucas would let me have my sweet release. It was a hot day, hot enough for a 45-year-old bearded man to rock a slave lay outfit. He was the second in the queue. Left behind a geared-up Boba Fett cosplayer who just slipped out of a tent he had staked down a night or two earlier. The line ran down a long sidewalk and around the corner of the theater. Tim and I were probably the 200th people in line. Cars would honk as they drove by. Some mocked, some cheered. Most mocked. The final hour went by like an old lady getting up from a chair. Every second felt like 10. The crowd was getting restless. Thankfully, the theater was ready to seat. People raced inside like horses leaving the stalls. It was pure chaos. I may have trampled a boy dressed like an Ewok, but there was no time to look back. If he dies, he dies. I was on a mission. A mission to see the greatest Star Wars movie of all time. The snack counter would have to wait until I claimed my throne. Tim Brown leapt over a seat like a gazelle. He tossed his light jacket over a cheap felt chair to secure his spot. I did the same. After grabbing our sodas and snacks, we plopped back down in complete silence. You could hear a pin drop in the auditorium. Only mere minutes to go. This was it. This was everything. If only someone would have warned me, told me that the next couple of hours would have been the worst part of this adventure. And it wasn't for the reasons you may think. You have just listened to an excerpt from a new serialized podcast revolving around real-world experiences by myself and others. There will be interviews, guest speakers, and shocking reveals. This thing will go completely off the rails leading to mystery, violence, and intrigue. If you would like to support the podcast, feel free to swing by patreon.com slash adam does movies or click the join button on YouTube and become a member of the community. I look forward to sharing these stories with you.