 Felly mae'n gweithio i gweithio'r platforma mewn social media i gweithio'r gweithio gweithio'r gwneud o'r gweithio'r gwahanol, i gwybod i ddim yn gwneud o'r ddweud y bwysig yn gwneud o'r bydd y teimlo, a'r bydd yn gwneud o'r cwestiwn i'r newid o'r newid. Mae'r bwysigol yn ysgol yma, felly mae'n bwysigol, felly mae'n gweithio'r bwysig, mae'n gyfrofi'r bwysigol i'n gweithio'r bwysigol. Felly, y gallai ddweud o'r gwasanaeth ychydig, yn ei ffrwng, y 11, 12 yma yn y gwahanol, yn ddechrau'r bwys, yn y cyffredinol. Mae'r dros wahanol yma ar y ddechrau'n gwrs, ac mae'n mynd i'r gweithio'n ymdyn nhw, mae'r rhai ddechrau, yma ar hynny, mae'r ddefnyddio gwahanol ar y ddechrau. Mae gwn i'r fideo ar y dweud, dwi'n gwybod yma'r adeiladau i eich rhan, One of them was called Mr Johnson. Couldn't identify him, couldn't find him. So I did a video saying about what he did and I was talking to him on this video and I mentioned in the video the thing is life's a bitch because out of all of them kids that you were fucking abusing at that time you had no idea that one of them kids was going to be this super star in social, in this thing that we call social media that doesn't even fucking exist yet and he ended up being a fan of mine, believe it or not. I can very easily go on that self-destructive mode 100% and there's things, I've had fantasies about it, hurting people, destroying people that have hurt me. Now apparently it was an unreleased fucking copy of the book and the bookies were taking bets on who fucking died so apparently it was worth a shitload of money. I've never read a book in my life until this fucking point. So apparently never fucking watched that report. It's one who fucked all about it. But what I did have was I had tools and I had a gun. I started doing videos on training. This is how it started. All of a sudden I started having a bit of a fucking following. It went up to something like 60,000 just on training. People were loving it. People were coming down. They were paying for PTs. They were driving all the way from Manchester and I'd be in the fucking cupboard crying. My brother would be like this and I don't want to hear your shit. Go on train. I stayed in the gym one night and I filled a syringe up with insulin and I cried that much. I fell asleep with it in my hand and I woke up the next morning. I had 260,000 followers at that point and he said, yeah, no problem. I did it and we put them up for sale and we did 17.5 grand in one hour. That was the moment then everything changed. Cymru'r on! Mae'r ddeisgues. We've got Aaron Rambo. How are you brother? I'm alright mate, yeah. This has been over a year in the making trying to get you on here. I know I've tried to be a bit of a diva but it didn't work in the end of it. It got me. Good to have you here mate. Thank you and this is the first time that I've ever done an outsider's interview. I'm honoured. Actually, so you fucking should be. Yeah I'm honoured. So you lead a very interesting life. A man who's criminal background, bodybuilder and now you're running a multi-million dollar, multi-million pound business. First of all congratulations for making some changes, putting some positivity back in the world. I know you've done a lot of videos, motivation. Now you're all over the world and you're running businesses everywhere. For people who are watching, it doesn't matter your past. It doesn't matter how fucked up you are. It doesn't matter what you've done. You can make changes. That's true. That is true. Do you know what I mean? I'm proof of it. So I'll always go back to the start for my guests. We had you grow up and how it all began. Well I suppose this interview depends on what you know and what you watch. Everything. A lot of people, they don't know a lot because they only watch what they choose to see. You're on social media I'm sure you know that. We just had a conversation before the interview. People think it's easy doing what we do because of what they see. They only see what we want them to see online and it's a totally different story. Even when I'm putting my personal things online. Either from my past or my criminal past growing up. Again it's only parts that I've chosen to put up. It's not all of it so it is what it is. I suppose no different to most. I was born on a council estate, grew up, went to some schools, got kicked out of schools. But the majority of my upbringing though, which made it a little bit different, a little bit difficult, was getting put into care for a period of my life. How old were you? When I went into care I was 11 years old. Did you become rebellious then when that happened? Yeah I was pretty fucked up actually. My start was, I was very sick believe it or not. I was that kid that suffered with breathing. So I had severe asthma. I still suffer with asthma now but when I say severe I had to have an oxygen machine attached to me all the time. So I couldn't go anywhere without it. So during my time in primary school I was that kid that had to sit in while everybody else was out. In the playground playing I was never allowed to go out. I was never allowed to do sports. I was never allowed to do PE, never allowed to do swimming. There was a couple of occasions that I was actually brought back by paramedics after having some severe asthma attacks at home. There was a time that I actually lived a very short period in hospital in Peterborough General Hospital on the Children's Ward. So it was a serious condition and I suppose it affected me even though I didn't realise it at the time. Plus, let me just make you laugh, I stunk a piss. I mean I went the bed up until I was about fucking 16. So I was that kid on a breathing apparatus that stunk a piss basically. I was that one. Did you get bullied? Not so much then. A bullying, not really because I always used to fight back. So I can't say I was a victim. Did you feel like an outcast or not able to play sports, not able to go out and mingle with other kids? No, I felt confused actually. I have, and what I'm telling you now actually is what I speak to my therapist about. I mean I have a very good therapist, Ellen McChrystal. And I've been through fucking loads over the years. But this one I found and I have weekly sessions with her and she's saved me. In my opinion she's saved other people. And I tell you the same as I told her, I felt confused. I mean my mum broke up from my dad when I was a baby. And she was adamant that he was going to have nothing to do with me. So I grew up not knowing who my dad was. Because of that I didn't know who some of my brothers were. Which was a weird one. I've got three brothers and three sisters. What I ended up, we've got different mums and different dads. So the lad that I used to think was my best friend playing with me every day, Calvin, was actually my brother. And I found out one day when I had an altercation on the council estate where I was living. Some lad tried to nick my bike. Calvin came running out and he had the kid up against the wall by his throne. He said, you touch my brother again, I'll hit you. And I'm like, what do you mean brother? Shortly after that, I then found out who my dad was. But the weird thing is, my mum never stopped my relationship with my grandmother. And my grandmother is my dad's mum. My grandmother is, she's my world. She's always had a massive influence on my life. She's the one that's never lied to me in my life. So my mum would allow me to stay with my grandmother in London. So I would go to number one point and road top them where she lived. But then my grandmother wouldn't stop her son from coming to see me. But at the same time she knew that if my mum found out that my dad was coming to see me, then she would stop me from seeing my grandmother. So my dad would come round to see me and I was told that that was my uncle Ian. So welcome to the world Aaron. So my best friend is my fucking brother. My uncle Ian is my dad. And I thought it was a bit weird, you know? My uncle Ian grabbing me, cuddling me, giving me loads of kisses all the time, trying to fucking piece up. I'm thinking I've got a fucking great uncle here. What age did you find out? Who was your dad? 11 or 12. How was your relationship with him? I remember the day that I found out that he was my dad. It was somebody from Child Social Services that spoke to me in the headmasters office of the primary school at the time. This was before I got sent away to care probably about a month before. Saying, do you know who your dad is? And I said no. And they said if it could be anybody in the world, who would it be? And you know what coincidentally I said, uncle Ian? I said that because I remember him taking me to pizza. I just remember him being this big strong guy. He was a dormant. He was an entrepreneur. He was a businessman. He was a ladies man. He was fucking everything. And I actually genuinely said uncle Ian. And that's when they said your uncle Ian is your dad. Which was a strange one. But then from the moment they said that, then my opinion, my view of uncle Ian and my dad changed. Because the moment he was then introduced to my life, my mum used him as a weapon. I would only go and see him when I needed discipline. And he realised that very quickly. And when he realised that very quickly and he told her that isn't going to happen, that was when I was sent to care. How was it in care because did you not try to set someone in fire in care? I fucking know about that. I know everything. I'm the best in the game mate. I'm the best in the game. I heard someone you threw paper over them. I set a burning fire with paper and threw it over them. Is that correct? Yeah, that was. And I shouldn't be laughing about it. I'm laughing at the fact that you know about that. Yeah. My behaviour changed rapidly. I was a very sick child which was the reason why I went into care. They had nurses, doctors that were qualified to deal with me in the first schools that I went into. You've got to understand we were very, very sick children. You had some kids that had constant needles in their hearts for reasons and so on and so forth. First day into care, I remember walking in the corridor. Had an argument with a kid who walked up the stairs and he had a fucking snickers bar. Had an allergy to nuts, choked, fell down instantly. Died, broke his neck in front of me. What? True story. I remember when the carers come round me standing next to this kid twitching on the floor. And I'm like, hang on, it looks like. Yeah, that was literally like the first day. So you've seen someone dying? Yeah. So that's trauma as well and pain? Yeah, but well, I suppose you could say that but I was fucking young. You know, I remember it. I remember the stairs. I could describe certain things. But as far as that incident stand with me, not really. But then my behaviour started to deteriorate because once we got kicked, that school actually closed down. And then I went to another boarding school, which was for sick children and badly behaved children. So now I'm mixing with kids with problems, you know, serious problems. And then my anger started to come out. And then in that second boarding school, that's when the child abuse started. And then the third boarding school was just all and out bad boys boarding school. And then that's when the serious abuse started. But the one you're on about was in the last school. There was a lad called Leon. There was a lot of kids from London actually. And I was made to share a bed with him. He just took a dislike to me. Big lad, fat lad, used his way against me. And he would just say things to embarrass you, say things to antagonise you. But you know, always when people were around laughing. And I just felt awkward when we were in the room together. It was quiet and he was just smug and I just felt awkward. I felt powerless because he was bigger than me. I was very small lad in height and in stature. And he said, I remember what he said because my sister at the time was pregnant. And I remember what he said. He laughed and he went because I put a picture up of my sister on my bedside table. And he looked and he went, your sister, yeah. I went, yeah. And he went, oh, she's pregnant with my baby. And I don't know what it was, but I went quiet. I don't even remember speaking to him. The rest of the evening. And I went from to go to sleep. And I put a cheese and onion, empty packet cheese and onion, Chris, over the fire alarm. And I feel it would have been for the paper and I lit it and I threw it on his fucking bed. But then, yeah, the bed was hardly flammable. Very quickly. But I don't feel sorry for it. It was a cunt. You've had a protective? I would say so. Was that because everything that you went through though? Well, you see a lot of things happened after that, you know. There's been a lot of times, especially growing up in school, in care, in boarding school. You've got nobody to protect you, you know. Things happen. And I suppose the few people that have offered me that protection in some way or another, either after that or very few people from around that time. I'm very protective of that. And I think rightly so because it is a scary world out there. But especially all the stuff you went through from, been through this system for a very young age, trying to understand. And it's rejection, it's neglect, it's so many different things that people want, why they do not want me. Were you questioning yourself? Was it you or was it because they couldn't stay up up to the plate and take care of their son basically? I was always told it was me. Always. Always? Yeah, always. I mean, I wasn't an angel. I was a little fucker. But when I look back on it now, and especially with what's happened recently in the courts, because we just won a court case against one of the schools, and learning what actually went on and reading some of the kids' statements that were talking about me, about things I couldn't even fucking remember. All of a sudden it puts a lot of things into perspective in your head and you realise why you are the way you are. Having said that, I do believe that during my life I've still been responsible for making the decisions that I've made. And I do not believe that any of what happened to me before should be used as an excuse for them decisions that I made. I was still competent. I still had a choice. So I don't believe that you can blame the past for what you're currently doing or what you're going to do in the future. But you can certainly understand why you are, I suppose, the way that you are. But you can also learn to have an element of control over that. Of course, but the brain's a pivotal thing. The brain only repeats what it knows and you become a product of your environment. If you're in the system, if you're people who are getting bullied and abused that becomes the norm where you think it is normal. So if you're going through that abuse for 10, 20, 30 years, how long it is then you learn to accept it and the brain only repeats. So the 60,000 thoughts we get today will repeat into tomorrow. So it's to break that and for you to take responsibility and not make blame for your past. But your past is your past. It makes you who you are. It can be difficult especially if you can throw a leaf of torment and torture and not quite understanding. Now I see your videos and it's all motivational, all positive, about changing and trying to put a bit of goodness back into the world when people get a better understanding of actually the shit you went through and you're going to get a hell of a lot more respect. So I take my heart off to you brother for being so honest. It takes courage and that shows you your character and that shows you how far you've come and how far you're going to go. So when you started going through the system, 14, 15, 16, what was those ages like for yourself? The system was hard in the end. I ended up getting kicked out of school at the age of 14. So there was a lot of physical abuse that went on in the second school. When I say physical abuse I'm on about beatings, full-on beatings, I'm talking carers, jumping in with some of the bigger kids, running in your room at fucking 11, 12 midnight with football boots and pillowcases and hitting you. The last ball in school was the worst and it was only up until recently that I found out, at least on one occasion, that I was sexually abused in that school. Now when they contacted me because they had a lot of other kids that were abused at school, I just told them about the physical abuse that I remembered. But that was probably the most traumatic fucking school. That was proper fucked up. That was carers. You used to have a point system at school and if you didn't get a certain amount of points then you wouldn't get a certain amount of privileges after school. So to get your points up, some of the carers would make me jump out of the first floor window repeatedly and then go and do it again and go and do it again until you cry because your leg hurts. But then you can't complain about it or do anything because you'll lose more points. One carer put my head in the school minivan. Even the lawyer who deals with all of this child abuse even broke down and cried in front of me because she realised some of the things I said in my statement. She said, oh my God, that was you. She said all these kids' statements were talking about a kid that was getting beaten and that was you. I was like, really? Then I read their statements. I remember that. I got to the point and even drew a diagram and showed where certain things happened in the school because they've knocked the school down now. I did a video for her because they couldn't identify one of the carers. One of them was called Mr Johnson. This is some shit right here. First bodybuilder I ever laid eyes on. Imagine that. A big black guy looked like Mr T. Had a real fucking long finger now. Couldn't identify him. Couldn't find him. So I did a video saying about what he did and I was talking to him on this video. I mentioned in the video, the thing is, life's a bitch because out of all of them kids that you were fucking abusing at that time, you had no idea that one of them kids was going to be this superstar in this thing that we call social media that doesn't even fucking exist yet. He ended up being a fan of mine, believe it or not. He was following you? My name when I was at school was Aaron Watson. Of course, I'm Aaron Lambo on the internet. I got a fucking tattoo on my face. I'm a bodybuilder. There's no way he was going to. He ended up following me. So the guy who was abusing you was following you? It gets better than that. He tried to sue me for the video. We got a court claim from his letter from a solicitor. But then that had a backlash on him because we found out who he was and because of that video, 22 other kids managed to get convictions. So it helped put a backclaws at the kids' house as well? Yeah, because they put us in a syndicat. So the way it worked was the last contact I had with the lawyer, she sat down with me and she said, I've got to tell you something. And I said, what's that? And she said, at least one occasion you were sexually abused. I said, how can you say that? I said, I'm telling you I don't remember any of that. She said, you were on a nebuliser for your asthma. You were on inhalers for your asthma. You were on nasal spray for wetting the bed. We've got your records because she was getting them because they knocked the school down and getting them in parts. She said, none of your medical records in the school were you ever prescribed tablets at night and you said that this particular person used to come in and give you tablets along with your medication. I said, yeah. She said, the other children that were sexually abused also say that they were given tablets before bed, which was the obvious. Since then I've suffered with damage to my insides. So at least once a year, twice a year, sometimes it goes on to a week. I suffer badly with heavy bleeding from my arse. For years I went to the hospital thinking it was hemorrhage. It was something there is none. So there'll be a couple of times throughout the year I'll be saying to Natalie or Harry that I need to go because it's a fucking mess. And then they got some records. There were some days where apparently I was disciplined because I refused to take off my school clothes. I used to have showers fully clothed and I was disciplined for that. No one used to ask me why. So this is all in the school records that she's put everything together. And there was a lot of things. And then they rang me. I think it was three months ago or two months ago now saying because of everything else in the evidence that was put forward, the school and the insurance company have come up with a settlement for each and every person. But the problem is everybody else has accepted. If I don't choose to accept, all the other kids won't get their money and it was £52,000 or £54,000. Now I didn't want to accept because I'm thinking I want these fuckers going beyond bars. But a long short of it is it's in the civil court. There is no criminal convictions that are going to be put on any of these. But the insurances are going to pay them out. And we could prolong this but then there are other kids that are now adults, have families that have never seen that amount of money in their lives. This is life changing for them. And now it's fucking waiting on me. So I settled, everybody else got paid and these fuckers have got away with it. See that's the hard thing because you can understand why you agreed as well for the people who's not got a potty person. Some maybe potentially. I know of one of them, one of them is literally eating himself alive. He's that fucked up. There's one that, the only one that I've kept in contact with, he's a decent guy, he lives in Australia now. And now that's managed to put the deposit down on the house for him and his misses. So there's a lot of positives that have come out of it. But it's a bit like, I took my pick here, fucked you, fucked you, fucked you, and then the insurance company will pay you later like you're a fucking prostitute. You just pay, there's no justice there at all. There's no justice, but something will prevail. When the truth always comes out then, like you're talking about it there, it's out there that people have got, they may have a bit of money, but you've still not got the closure because you're clearly a fater, you're clearly still wanting some. Plus I don't know, I only remember the physical stuff. Fuck I don't remember the sexual stuff. Nor do I want to, but then there's a question there thinking, you just, like you say, there's no fucking closure. With the doctor, I was found out a fucking doctor, a school doctor didn't even have so much as a first aid fucking certificate. And these people are now getting to carry on with their lives with their grandchildren, their children out free. Could be loving next door to kids, could be still working as teachers. Not even on a fucking register. How many people were involved? I know of 22 victims. How many? With me there was three carers, with the others there was a lot more because it went over a period of before I started as well. So I don't know with that, but with me there was three. First of all for the colleagues to be speaking out and opening about it, takes balls man, proud of you. I had a woman on the show called Barbara O'Hare, she is an amazing woman, she was took into her hospital cult. What was that hospital called? Aston Hall. Aston Hall, these doctors, what happens is they had to check this for kids. Runaways, families didn't want them, kids with addictions, what happens is when they took them into the mental institute they signed them off as crazy. So the doctors were drugging them, abusing them, raping them, killing them. When people run away to the police, because they are signed off as crazy, the coppers just used to take them straight fucking back. And this is doctors, a couple has been to prison now, few are dead, but the scary thing is this shit is going on and on and on, but people like yourself are so openly to speak out about it. This is going to help a lot of other people, come forward and speak out. So it takes massive courage man, and it shows you your character first of all. It shows you your character how fucking strong you are. The one thing that did come out of it, the positive thing is the relationship with my dad. Because I blame my dad for a lot of things being hard on me growing up, and yeah he was a fucker and he'd start to mean, but then he was used for the punishment side of things. But then I found out at the end of the court case that my mum knew about a certain amount of abuse that was going on and was taking me back. Now I remember fucking hell, I can't even remember the amount but I remember on many occasions of me running away, not trying to do everything I can, kicking and screaming, getting forced to be put in the car and nobody fucking believing me. I remember even sleeping on the school roof when I knew certain carers were on duty. Now the moment this came out, my dad watched it on social media before anything and he rang me. Me and my man got a best relationship and the first thing he was saying was he was sorry but you can't blame him for stuff because I've gone through the family court. You have all your power taken away. Now I take a lot of things from my dad. I'm very much like him so I know if he knew he would have been in there he would have kicked the door down he would have run away with me he would have done something so he couldn't blame him and for that it makes me now want to build someone with him. If you're a volatile as a kid you've got an understanding to be like that but it's difficult because same as Barbara O'Hare nobody believes that they call her a fantasist. Nobody believes that. They keep running away and calling her a fantasist and taking her back for more punishment, more pain, more trauma but you've come out the other end of it brother and that's the main thing. I was a compulsive liar as well so when you look at it I didn't know what to fucking believe what I was lying about. I didn't know what was true and what wasn't and if there was an element of drugs involved like the profession was telling us then it's fucked up but it's fucked up more how something like that can affect so many people and now it's affecting somebody like my dad who went for all that shit of trying to fight for me and all that who would do the utmost to protect and then he lost to a system that's designed to protect children and that system ended up putting that child at risk and letting that child down. Why? Why? It's because of an angry fucking vindictive mother because the father just so happens to have a fucking conviction from 10 years ago or 20 years ago that has nothing to do with women or children this is the fucking thing with the family court system there are so many kids that are at risk at the minute and it's bollocks. I haven't even spoken to my dad I'm only on the phone since all of that actually believe it or not so when we see each other that's gonna mean I'm speaking to you first before I even speak into him even know really what I'm thinking or what I'm said so that's gonna be a conversation when I do have a chat of him and I think that's gonna that's gonna be good for both of us I think that's a conversation you definitely need to have that I don't think that your dad was pushing you away I think you probably just don't understand the situation and you go through the coach yourself with your kids and you've got a great understanding of it now and how evil women can be as well when they use their sons and kids as a tool that can be difficult but you never had that protection but I believe your father probably would have been there if he knew the situation oh fuck yeah he would have broke any court order he would have done anything a father would have done anybody that knows my dad will know he's not a perfect person but that's one thing that he would have made sure that he would have done but yeah I mean for him to have some sort of guilt at this now is it's wrong you know he's powerless you've got to understand that yeah but he's evil people don't pedophile rings he doesn't just affect the person being abused it also affects everyone around them wants to hear the facts because people think I should have done more I should have done this but the kids are getting manipulated it's so difficult because people don't understand man and it's such a hard thing to get through but he did come through it and fair play man fair play for able to sit here and tell your story and expose some truths that need to be exposed because a lot of people this happens so many times and people are so oblivious to it people are so caught up in it and they don't think they're living their own re-world but the amount of times this goes on the amount of people we've had on to speak out is powerful and it's a beautiful thing as well sometimes you've got to go to the darkest places to find the right and sometimes you can be the leader to go I can speak out about it, I can still be successful I'm not going to let these killers destroy my life the majority of people who will maybe turn to drugs who will maybe turn to suicide you've not, you've kicked on and utilised it to your advantage you've still got that fire to try and move on in life because you've got your own kids and you obviously want to protect them as well because you know what the fuck you've went through how was your mum's mindset was she fucked in was she an alcoholic were there any reactions or anything like that my mum is and always has been a liar and I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt because she was my mum but she's just always been a liar doesn't care about anybody but herself no my grandmother was the one the only way out of that situation because no one would believe me was for me to get kicked out so there was an element of me doing stuff on purpose to get excluded and I managed to achieve that 14 got excluded, had nowhere else to go and ended up with my grandmother and then she took me in and you trusted her it must have been difficult as well because you would have had no trust issues at that point I was one disrespectful little fucker I didn't give a shit about anyone I would it was just fucking horrible and then I remember being 14 years old being in my grandmother's house and I had a night and this hit me more than anything anything any fucking beating that I ever got anything I remember using my nan's computer and it was when you had the AOL my nan used to charge me 50 beer fucking half hour or something to use it you get your business skills wrong oh she's taught us she taught me everything but I hadn't been living with her long and I was in her bedroom using her computer and she I was using it over the time period and I backchatted her and said something to her I can't even remember what it was that I said to her and then all I heard was this noise I thought she left the room and I turned around and she was on the floor with and that fucking burned me that even today because that's the only woman that's ever sort of given me a chance and after that she didn't need to say anything to me after that no one ever did and now I've done even swear in front of her you know and even after that she never gave up on me she still kept me there so kept believing in you I think everybody's got someone like that in their life that don't want to let down because you could have easily just went on a fucking killing spree and it was rightly so and I know you say you can't you can control the way you are but sometimes you can when your past is so volatile to understand what triggers people and you have had every right to go and do what you had to do to anybody and I believe that and a lot of people choose addiction or alcohol obviously down the violet route but it's totally understandable especially if you went through because you didn't know anything else no she was with me all the way I went to college got kicked out of college still had my hands to go back to once I got kicked out of college she then told me you need to get a job so she's always been there I did drama and dance did you do acting? and then I lasted about two months why are you feeding? yeah there was some lads that took a dislike to me and I walked down the corridor and they spat at me and and then every time they would drive home they would fucking my grandmother lived down Lincoln Road which is quite a that time was a rough place in Peterborough and they would follow and throw cans and coke and stuff like that and I took a meat cleaver into school into the college one day and of all days I fucking told my dad about these lads as well so my dad of all days went in to speak to security on that day at this school at the headmaster and as he's in the security room they've had a call on the radio there's some kids swinging a fucking meat cleaver around at the canteen so of course my dad's going in there with security and it's fucking me and all of these lads up against the wall and I'm swinging this fucking meat cleaver around and he took it off me very very quickly whacked me round a fucking head dragged me out but that was just to protect yourself you don't know just because it's drama school every bit of company you're going to you're always going to have that fear factor that something could potentially happen whether it's getting bullied, abused, whatever so you're always going to protect yourself but that was just protection and of you the biggest criminals in the world and what I see with everyone else is vulnerability now everyone who holds a gun or a knife I believe that's their comfort blanket because there's a link to every criminal at every bad guy I meet they've either been bullied or abused when they're younger holding a knife or a gun is a protection because they're so fucking fragile they don't want to be hurt no more so I'll hold a gun or a knife please leave me alone, I just don't want to hurt anymore I believe that as a vulnerability that for me that's a sign that they need help, they need protection, they need love and every single person has that link that's successful but when you actually break it down people get a better understanding of who you are and why the fuck you don't want to feel because the oldest shit that you've went through in the past and that's amazing I can't fail and it comes down to one word humiliation I've been humiliated all my life you can say fuck your mum, fuck your sister you can say anything to me and there is nothing that you would be able to do to antagonise me apart from if I genuinely thought there was a physical threat but if you humiliated me or where people are laughing at you are there something smallest it's like I will just what do you mean by that and I'll make it fucking awkward or I will lose just fucking explode it's humiliation, I can't fail because there's too many people that would laugh at me if I did all my life I've been humiliated I can't do that now From ages of 16 then after college after trying to get a job what was your life like then ok so my dad owned a security company at the time and he knew some night club owners and he got me a job glass collecting in a night club so I started doing that at the age of 15 break for the border and caffeine saying in Peterborough then then there was an element of trouble there I was fighting and then I ended up working in the cloak room because they had to give me some sort of job out the fucking way because it was just confrontations Did anybody know your past at that point? No they knew my dad and I respected my dad and they didn't want to fall out of my dad so instead of sacking me it was right let's just put me in a fucking cupboard out the way I think I lasted glass collecting for a couple of weeks and I was glass collecting there was some pissed up lads and I think I took one of his he had a bit left and I said sorry I've always been polite and he said something and they had a conversation with my dad my dad was like what were they doing were they fighting and Aaron was in the way no Aaron threw the first punch so he stuck me in the cloak room out of the way and then I went from there in the kitchen started doing extra work potwashing and then I met one of the doorman and become friends with him and he took me to the gym so I started training with a doorman and I was only 15 years old so I started bodybuilding and then at the age of 17 I had a bit of size and then I started the door so I was working on doors that I weren't even old enough to be in You think gear and everything now? No I didn't take gear until I was 18 I took 1.5mg debal tablet and panicked for about 20 minutes afterwards I was going to have a heart attack no not until then but then that's when I decided to compete How was that for your mindset having panic attacks, breathing difficulties to then become to train and bulge your body up and become stronger Did that give you a bit of protection? Big bodybuilding helped me actually It helped me exercise any sort of exercise you know it's going to involve your lungs and it's going to be good for you and I believe the drugs to a certain extent as well also helped because there's a lot of steroids that are actually like for instance a computer roll which is a very mild one but that's designed for asthmatics and people with breathing difficulties so there's a lot of things that are taken during training that actually had a good effect on me you know with my personal with my health but it still hasn't left me I can't run, I can't box every now and then I do some sort of cardio on the bag but after a few minutes you know I'm yeah but it's not fucked like you're just out of breath you can't breathe in fact I had an accident the other week in the water I rolled away with Jennifer on holiday and I jumped in and I had to be fucking rescued because swimming then all of a sudden my breathing just fucking went and I couldn't let anybody know luckily somebody had spotted me and they fucking jumped in they gave me a life jacket so yeah so the breathing thing is still there then yeah it can be shock to the system just to trigger things yeah did you panic then did you panic then going into the water yeah I did then I thought that was it actually but you know you could say well you know fighting all my life well how's that happened well as you know a full on fucking scrap doesn't last that long you're talking fucking seconds but if you're talking boxing MMA stuff like that I could never do any of that there's no way I would physically be capable of doing it I could do a lot of cardio from doing my fast walking I might do a little bit on the bag but then I hit it with drop sets supersets you know and I keep the tempo up that way intensity up that way it's just a different level of training but yeah I do believe it's not only helping me with my health but training has sort of sculpted my life if you think about it in that sense yeah people think it's easy it doesn't matter what you're taking of where you're training or how many times you're training is still consistency it takes consistency you do a lot of reps as well don't you I take all the gear in the world but if you've got shit genetics you'll look shit so 18, 19, we know 19 was when you get sent to prison nearly five years for this Harry Potter book no what was that? I had a I had a lot of fucking problems I mean I had a lot of charges against me I had six barrier and assaults I had a few with weapons against police I had I got arrested for an attempted murder that got dropped down and I got charged with the threats to kill there was a lot of things that I had that what happened with the book was one thing and actually only one charge but as you can imagine the charge that was in the media the most and that was just a blackmail and a theft so if you add up the other charges against the reason why I've got so I was just a clickbait kind of thing then I think so yeah and that was me taking the blame for something that I actually didn't even do what was it like then did you know four and a half what was it four and a half you got so it got to the point where I couldn't now do the doors because I started doing the doors before the council badge then they bought in the council badge then they bought in the SIA badge when they bought in the SIA badge you're talking I couldn't even know money doing what I've done now for so long so I was just a cunt basically I was doing stupid things for stupid money against people that really really didn't deserve it and getting used yeah that's pretty much it that age still early teens just still in your teens to think that I wanted to prove something you wanted to get exactly for the wrong people I always wanted to prove something and I saw what I've ever wanted to do and I've always been easily led and easily easily used that when it comes down to it that's exactly what it was I even got to the point where there was a court order that I was actually banned from a fucking Kettering the town so I actually moved to Coventry at one point at a school that would meet me on the A14 just to come in just to take me to fucking court there was that time I had no driving licence no MIT no fucking insurance I remember Arm Response did what they call a hard stop on the dual carriageway they got me out of the car guns all the fucking pilava and I remember the policemen said to me you got any guns or weapons in the car I said no he says well we've been giving this information he said you've got anything in the car Arm copper said to me you've got anything in the car that you shouldn't have that you shouldn't have and I said I've got a pot of D-bowl in the glove box and he looked at me and he went and put it behind the tree before the cavalry arrived so I put it behind the tree and the copper stood there and he said I'm only interested in the guns and drugs and they came and they searched my car they said you've got any idea on you or anything like that and as they said that they put my wallet out of my pocket I had my provisional fucking driving licence on me he saw it put it back in my wallet gave my wallet back to me and told me to fuck off so I put all of my stuff back in the boot of my voxel calibre at the time surrounded by police drove off because they wanted me for other stuff to wrap the charges up against me that's how bad my fucking life was at that time you know I was literally borrowed time and just they just wanted to get me out the fucking way it got that bad I was being arrested sometimes three or four times a week sometimes every other week because people would say he did this, he did that but this was all from the past so I ended up holding myself from a man when that book incident happened with the book incident the guy that I didn't even fucking know anything about the book at the time I got a phone call to say there was a deal going down at some time and I was going to get five grand to sit in there and look after this guy his name is Christopher Brown so I was like all five fucking of course I'll do it all I had to do was wear a tight t-shirt and look hard so I did it, he was talking to undercover reporters which I now know are undercover reporters they had cameras and the fucking tyres and the suitcases fucking everywhere and they would produce the book and I'm just sitting here thinking what the fuck is this about talking about 25 grand, 50 grand and the guy tried running out with the book now apparently it was an unreleased fucking copy of the book and bookies were taking bets on who fucking died so apparently it was worth a shitload of money I've never read a book in my life until this fucking point so I never fucking watched that report it's one who fucked all about it but what I did have was I had tools and I had a gun and it was a water ppk, it was a real gun but I only had blank ammunition so the bullets weren't real Chris shouted you need to get the fucking book back so I ran out there I jumped, I've hit the guy he's gone down the stairs, I've got the book Chris had run down the side and he had a baton and he'd gone after he got outside and for some reason I went to the fucking kitchen side of the flat and I looked out and when you're talking the sun and the mirror when they go to places, they don't come on their own with a cameraman they have a security team around them so there was these two fucking big cunts coming in with the reporter back into the main door of course Chris is on his way down so I'm thinking like a twat I'm still going to get paid so I need to look after him of course I'm not, I'm being used so I've gone down there and I'm thinking I've got to make this look good who the fuck do you think you're fucking with loading the clip with these fucking blank ammunition the guys are like whoa whoa whoa whoa I've put the clip in, I've cocked it back and I put it to his fucking head well they've frozen, they've stopped so I've now stood there, Chris is there I've put it to the guy's head, I've now got eye contact with the guy mouth I might here, don't worry it's not real so I've looked at him I've moved the gun away from the head bang and I've put it now if you've ever heard a replica fucking bullet there is no fucking way in here it hurt right and I've put it to his head and I went to him again I ain't real Chris and that was it, okay we're going we're going, they got in the car Chris went and I went back up to the flat and it couldn't have been no longer than 15 minutes my fucking heart's going I'm thinking what the fuck has gone on I'm trying to ring the guy that fucking gave me the job to be here he's not answering the fucking phone I don't know what's going on that was on the kitchen side which is the main high street called Tresham Street for some reason I went to that window and looked out there was no traffic down there this is fucking weird then I saw this police Volvo just creep opened the door, that was it dressed in black fucking balacalar there was fucking guns running and that was when I went fuck so yeah there was a there was a girl that lived opposite us at the time knocked on a door I had a couple of guns I gave them to her I said they cannot search your house they won't have a warrant, don't let them in she looked after them for me and I went downstairs and that was where that was where they fucking How was your breathing and stuff when you're going through holding guns, robberies is adrenaline pumping that much but you get a buzz when you're actually breathing better it makes sound crazy but do you know what I mean if you get into the water get cold water panic I think but if you are threatening someone adrenaline doesn't affect at all, it's a physical aspect it's the length of fucking time so therefore even now if I was to have a physical fight with you and it lasts longer than fucking expected and I'm out of breath, if I don't knock you out with a first punch or a second punch which is what I normally rely on then what I'd do is I'd have to hold you and choke you because by that time I'm fucking out of breath but his muscle mass community plays well a lot of muscle mass that's not going to benefit me either because that's going to be that tie you quicker so that adding on to my breathing it's not good but luckily I've been fortunate enough to know how to punch know how to fight know how to to go on the offensive first and make sure that's all I need I've been very lucky but if I was ever in a situation then of course my breathing is not going to be able to cope but as far as the adrenaline what was it like getting your five because I know you were in the young offenders but they put you in with the lifers why is that? because I got started up they stopped that in 2000 and six I think but it was just before they stopped it I got what was called start up so basically you go into a young offenders institute and if you hurt somebody or become a danger they do what's called start you up and they put you in a normal adult gel and then depend on the category or what wing so I hurt somebody pretty bad and they start me up Who was that experience? What? The heart of someone else? That was really an experience it's something I've sort of been exposed to all my life but in prison when I first went in that was a fucking that was an experience but you very quickly get used to it I mean it is what it is isn't it? What was it like being in with the lifers? When I first went to prison I've been twice the first time was only for a few weeks it was just for the same thing but I managed to get bail for a bit and then went back in when I first went in I remember I threw up on the fucking prison bus everywhere Just now? Yeah 100% because you don't know what to expect then I remember sitting in the holding cell this was when this was the second time so I've just been given four and a half years still fucking processing I'm in the holding cell with other inmates now I've got one he's jumped up and he's fucking pacing up and down fucking up and down and he's looking at me and I'm like I know what he's doing because of the way that I looked he's now looking at his arms but he's making it fucking obvious now he's jumped down in front of me he starts doing fucking press-ups he starts doing slubs don't put me in a fucking cell that's all I've been getting in my head but he wasn't right he was just a young lad but no fortunately I was classed as a high profile prisoner therefore I wasn't allowed to share a cell so I was single cell they made me share a cell once later on when they tried to de-categorise it but then I evicted the guy from the cell so then they recategorised me and there was a high profile but after that incident happened I when they said they're moving me and they're starring me up when I walked into that it wasn't just a prison it was a life as a prison on a life as a wing and when you walk in there as a 19 year old or 20, whatever I was you're looking at fucking men and that was when I I remember thinking to myself fuck what the fuck are you going to get out of this one that seems to be a common thing in my head when I end up in this shit how the fuck am I going to get out of this one was a life as more relaxed on the yos y yos tend to want to make a reputation make a name for themselves y yos fucking much more fuck my life it's fights every 2 minutes every 3 minutes just scrapping over fucking bollocks how's your breathing and stuff and I see all that do you not get panic attacks in here you can't remember the breathing and the panic attacks are completely different so the breathing is that's from birth the panic attacks is from my mental illness the panic attacks have got a hell of a lot worse with my PTSD as well since I got stabbed so when I said about my accident the other week that was a panic attack with my fucking breathing that was why I needed fucking help but all my life no I haven't suffered from panic attacks all my life that's only up until up until I suppose early adulthood but before then it was just the breathing disability side of things the cells the cells of the fucking cells of the cells what happened when you got out of prison then what was your life like then were you thinking I need to change or was it straight back into the ring prison was prison was a fucking an IO but then when I come out of prison things weren't the same why because I wasn't the same the stabbing the head trauma I suffered that in prison so when I come out of prison there was a lot of now things I have to deal with with myself with my now paranoia with lifelong fucking disabilities injuries there's a lot of things I've now got to take into account as well as try and work out how I'm going to sort of settle back into fucking society again but again if it wasn't for my grandmother that one of that one of she's like your angel she's like your rock any time the shit hits the fan any time my pain in misery she's there to put your it's funny that because if you're going to do bad shit a bit it's your gran that popped into your mind and you probably stopped yourself from doing a lot worse worse things to where she pops into your mind and you go fuck that and you're not going to let her down if I didn't have my grandmother there would be no shadow of a doubt in my head that I wouldn't be doing life in prison right now for something if I didn't have her as I suppose it upsets me because it's a fact that we have only what we got because of her bringing us together sorting me out even she believes that she hasn't sorted me out but she has but if it wasn't for her then I would have I'd be in prison for life I can very easily go on that self-destructive mode 100% and there's things I've had fantasies about it hurting people destroying people that have hurt me that have done the mildest fucking things to me or somebody and there has to be a reason why why I haven't there's been an element of hope there and my man give me that element of hope just until the point of my first child being born and then your kids change it then you've got another bit of hope and then Archie was born then you've got another bit of hopes now you've got three things that are now holding you down then Kallel was born then you start building something in your life now you've got shit to lose but if it wasn't for her then none of all of that when you start getting responsibilities it changes things doesn't it it changes everything you need to grow up and you've clearly had to grow up a lot faster than any other kids and even having your story to dates gave me a better understanding how you and you've got a whole lot of respect from me even more brother for what you're doing how you're speaking it's phenomenal I know you'll be proud your sister it's fucking unbelievable I didn't realise half of this if I'm honest I know it's your story to an extent I know your story to an extent but I never fully understood you but I know there was a story there you should be proud man you should be proud because it takes so much courage and it shows you your character so where did you get stabbed? what with a blade? what they called a shank so they took it out of engineering I'd hurt somebody what the original argument started over a sausage and I hit him with a spatula that was the original it's like a comedy sketch that that was the original fucking argument if I'm honest which actually happened a week before the actual last compensation which ended up being over toast that's like a fucking comedy sketch and people think I write this up so I wasn't allowed to be given a job plus I used to refuse to do a lot of work but there was a lad that I got on with and I was purposely fucking rude and arrogant in prison anti authority though and rightly so though some people think just keep your head down get on with it you can do that if you look a certain way if you look a bit different you can't do that and you have a to keep your head down sometimes you've got to be a little bit fucking snappy and that's how I've been all of my life people don't know how to take me and that for me is like a little security of course I should protect you though because every time anybody that's ever come into your life they've fucked you over back in your day so I don't find awkward situations awkward I can keep silent I can make something awkward but I got on with and me and him got given a job on the servery and we said fuck it we would do it laugh now I used to sell the porn on the wing and he used to sell the tobacco we had a fucking what we were doing we were selling the muffins that the inmates were getting for free the desserts back to the fucking inmates anyway I was working on the servery everybody gets asked in the morning what what you want for dinner do you want sausage or do you want a burger so you'll click sausage or a burger so the prison officer standing there with a fucking sheet and he will come up and he will say why English you were down for a burger so then I'd go to put the burger on well this lad decided he wanted a fucking sausage now I know how this sounds but the thing is what you've got to think of is they've only made a certain amount of sausages and a certain amount of fucking burgers so now if I give you that fucking sausage Crusher ain't going to have anything to fucking eat and he's going to fucking blame me so I'm thinking what do I do? I've been putting a fucking situation here so I looked at him and I said make you down for a burger I said you can't have a burger and he's looked at me and he's kissed his teeth and he said to me bruv you're not having a fucking sausage he's looking at me and he's like just give me the fucking sausage he's a pro boxer but he's one of them ones that don't look violent he's so funny I'm going to give him a fucking sausage for fuck's sake and he's trying to talk to me but without the guy knowing that he's talking to me I ain't giving him a fucking sausage the guy's looking at me, he's on remand for so many fucking shootings fuck still in the sausage he's this fucking big tool mix race guy so I've got a fucking a bit of a way to fucking jump as well to hit him but now he's doing that thing where he won't look at me now he's looking at everybody else as he's talking to me shut your mouth man give me a sausage, I'll take the fucking sausage and I'm like, I'm over here if you're going to talk to me have a conversation with me don't be so fucking rude and you're not having a sausage you're not having a fucking burger I've just told you not having a sausage I had the spatula in my hand so he's kissed his teeth and he's gone to take the fucking sausage so I fucking slapped his hand with the spatula and it's really hurting because it's a metal fucking spatula so as I beat his hand with a fucking Scott has just fucking started laughing the screws have fucking started laughing everyone's fucking laughing he's now fucking like pissed off and then it just fucking escalated so I'm now trying to get over the fucking with this fucking spatula I think I managed to catch him on the edge as I was getting pulled and then he was mouthing and then that was it I think it was a week later they said do you want to work on the server again I said alright fine, I'll work on the server and he said no trouble I said I think fucking started last time he wanted a fucking sausage, he was down for a fucking burger what do you want me to do so they put me down there they had a word with him, everything was alright he would look at me, I would look at him and that was it same lad he came down and he had his tray and he went through and my job now was handing out the bread so I've got a loaf of bread in my hand and this is what really escalated everything just when you think it couldn't he's going with his fucking tray and he gets his food and he turns around now he's in front of me so I've got two slices of bread in my hand plus the fucking bag of bread and he's just looking at me but when he's looking at me it's like this I'm looking at this, he's fucking tall and it's just awkward he's not saying anything, I'm not saying anything there's people waiting, there's some people that want bread so I'm like all I said to him was do you want the fucking bread or not so I'm looking at him he kissed his teeth again he then turned around to the officer Mr Clayton, I remember his name looked at him and he went I'm going to fucking bang lamb so Mr Clayton looked at him and went go on then thanks very much so he's fucking turned around he's turned it back to me and he's put the fucking tray on the counter when I'm thinking it was a brilliant one as well sparked him, he's gone right round and dropped fucking out of it so I thought fuck it so I started stamping on him I went a bit fucking apeshit create a scene in the fucking wing what I didn't realise for me and you go to prison for assault or theft somebody goes to prison for gang related crime they all go to prison together on the same wing together on that, screws pressed your arm they've come in, they broke it up stopped fighting, they fucking got me they fucking got me on my back all I hear is fucking what and I turn around and I see him all up the stairs and I'm like we fucking go so then you've got to put on a fucking front and then that was it for a few days I then found out that there was some plans to fucking do me with his friend cos we got separated then with one of the guys that he was a co-de with so he wasn't on the wing now and they were planning to do me an association so this is what you've got to think you've got to think like are you going to wait until your adrenaline's down and then they catch you on a where or do you just fucking start it with the way I see it in prison if me and you were having an argument over a pool table and you threatened me and said tomorrow morning you're fucked because I'm not waiting until tomorrow morning I'm going to give you then time to think what you're going to attack me with who you're going to attack me with because they're not just going to the likelihood of them having a one on one bare knuckle in a prison yard trust me people that doesn't fucking happen so you obviously want to be in control of whatever scenario is going to take place in my opinion so that's how I've always dealt with it so I was told that this lad was planning to have me over so as soon as they unlocked me I stormed into a cell there was two other lads in the cell he was on the bed and I had him but I scruffed his neck even when I think about it now there was other two there they could have done something they didn't and I screamed at him and I'm saying to him you're fucking planning to have me I've heard this I've had that but I ain't got an issue I ain't got an issue bro that's between you and him that's between you and him so I let him go and I called him a fucking pussy and I walked out as I walked out I walked up the stairs all three of them came out ran up one of them had a I think it was a a peg or something off of engineering off of a motorbike or something and one of them had made a lighter sorry a knife out of a lighters that were melted together you know it's made like a plastic knife so they've gone up, ran up hit me in the back in the head as I've gone down they've gone to fucking stab me in the throat but my head has gone down so I was like it's gone down it's gone straight through and it's snapped inside my jaw so but because there was a lot of blood they thought that they'd actually got me and then when I went down and the only reason why I know this is because I saw the CCTV after then all three of them were stamping on my head and that was it I was fucked the prison officers two prison officers on the wing at a time a man and a female ran off the wing pressed the alarm and locked the door the female stayed on the wing and she saved my life she ran over and from what I see jumped on me, bear hugged me and where they were kicking me in the head they were now kicking her shoulder they were then kicking her in the head they were kicking her in her back they were stamping on her and if she never had done that from what the doctors said to that woman afterwards we joked afterwards because she had to get a new uniform she was covered in blood but never spoke to her again I don't even know her name she watched him and reached out she was incredibly fucking strong because she didn't have to tell she did even though all the misery and torment you've been through do you feel blessed to still be here to raise a family, to now support your own family, to now run in successful businesses do you see yourself as being luckiest out to be here well what is luck, luck is what you've been given right? yeah not through everything I think luck is what you make it I was in that situation because I acted a fucking twat Do you think that brought you down a peg or two then? I was put in a situation in care because of my mum and other people in my life allowed me to be put in that fucking situation I'm in a situation that I'm in now because I fucking choose to be so I've now decided to create my own luck and now I've decided not to fucking fail so what is luck, luck is what you've been given so now yeah so you believe you can create your own life you can write your own chapters and create your own future through everything now because we spoke earlier and you are in control now yeah, full control so when you get out of prison you had to go through all that the stabbing well before that I had to learn to do some language therapy learn how to pronounce words again do you forget? cause I suffered a part of brain damage so I had to I lost all feeling of my legs for four days couldn't walk we didn't know whether that was going to come back again my teeth ended up being all cracked then you've got your speech then you've got your words even sometimes now I say my words back to front stumble now I wear I'm not wearing it today but I wear a hearing aid because now I've lost 30% of my hearing in that side my glasses this is complete glasses you see through this now my eyes like an egg so there's a lot of things that I had to do then you've got the mental health side of things which is to fucking paranoia so when I come out of prison you start to have a fight and this is what my counsellor was telling me I'm not fighting somebody or I'm the first to attack if I genuinely think there's a threat and the reason why is actually you hit now on the head at the beginning of the interview is because I feel scared so I'm now scared that that's going to happen again now because that happened everyone's a threat to me no matter how big or how skinny so if I think it's going to go one way then I will be the one to attack first and then I'll fucking make sure I'll make an example of it but you try and explain that in a call or something it looks like you're the aggressor so and I suffered with PTSD from that and that's a fucking scary thing sometimes you sit on the stairs just fucking crying sometimes you think the closest ones around you and the ones that are trying to fucking hurt you I was having an element of that yesterday whether it was or not and it's constant you're fighting your fucking self along with everything else that's happening in your day to day life and the job on the internet which you know isn't fucking easy so you're having to struggle all of that plus learn how to deal with this that's so new people don't even know how to handle it yet not even us we're self taught so there's a lot to fucking deal with but when I left How old were you? 23 so even though I only did just under three years in the end because I went in at the end of the year I ended up being in I think for a three birthday so 23 when I came out I think still young straight back to my hands straight back to my hands and I stayed with her I think rent free for must have been two weeks and she went into the kitchen come out and she went right I love you but you have to find yourself a job I don't need the money but you need to pay me 30lb a week I remember the words 30lb a week and she tried not to cry because her bottom lip was going she didn't want to say it but she said you need to learn to pay your bills and then she went that's all we're going to say on the matter and she walked into her room and I was like fucking angry but because of her I went up the trade was that to give you some structure some purpose in life to get up make some money and I don't know I don't know what it was with my nan I think she just it's just life I think she just wants to teach you life skills bills, basic little things learn to pay stuff and not take things too easily but of course when I come out of prison I still did illegal things to get extra fucking money I ended up doing really well out of it but then what I was is I was sensible and I invested that money I never did it for for the show and tell stuff I had some really close friends at the time that are my best friends now and one of them said if you're going to do this fine but don't spend money on your cars don't spend money on your appearance start buying gym equipment putting in a container start doing this and that's what I did at the moment I got the gym that was when I knocked on the head You always visualised to having a gym? What age did you start doing that? I wanted a gym from the age of 14 What age did you get one? I said I would have one by the time I was 30 I got one when I was 28 All the attractions are a powerful thing understanding of that? I believe that I believe that, I believe if you want something bad enough you'll get it and you won't know how you fucking got it but you got it there's things like that that are happening now but yeah at 28 then 30 was probably the worst time of my life and then from 31 onwards that was when everything fucking changed where are you 30? why was that the worst time? 30 because that was when the depression was at a high was that? that was when when I lost my last son I lost everything, I lost my business I lost my gym I nearly lost my gym but I think in life man you've got to hit rock bottom I think that's where you find out who you truly are is when you've got fuck all when you've got nothing left that's when you dig deep and find out okay I'm ready now it's not about whining it's about trying me I believe that's when you find your answers now life is going great, you're never going to learn but when the shit hits the fan I believe this is when you learn and either decide to be who you're destined to be to kick on and better your life what was the video with a PC dick kid because that shot you into social media I snarred them that that was because of Lindsay so I'm going to tell you a story after everything that I've gone through so far now 28 got my fucking gym the gym ended up being the best I'm not exaggerating the best gym in the whole of Northamptonshire 39 years old 30 so I've got two children Aliyah and Archie and me and their mum she now works for me after Kirsty I met another woman called Lindsay and then met her when I opened my gym and then she got pregnant with my son Khalel so he's one years old I'll go to the gym one day Luke he's my business partner at the time a friend of mine tells me he doesn't want to be involved in the gym anymore his Mrs had a biannab on it about me being involved in the gym basically what was happening was he would open the gym at 7 in the morning I would take over from 1 till 9 but he wouldn't go home until about 5 or 6 what he was telling his Mrs was I was turning up late not once he was staying on to personal train some of the female clients and doing his thing but that got caught out he pushed the blame so what I did is I went to the bank to go and get a loan the bank said I gave them all the details that they needed and I took my best friend with me James Collier James as you know he's very well educated and he's a very smart man very logical so he's with me I remember the bank manager I've heard this before she said you're not a partner on a business I said of course I am she said no she said he registered it as a sole trader in 2012 never registered it as a partnership what about a business bank account it's not a business bank account it's an add-on from his personal account he's just changed the name of it I said well I've got the password to get in it but if you went into the branch they wouldn't know who you were basically for the whole 2.5 years every credit card payment that was getting put into the gym was going straight into his personal bank account I went up and see all my friend Simon fan told him what happened and I'm about to lose this gym Simon come out of the gym out of his reception with 25 grand in cash that was all he had he said given this he said I know what the gym means to you no contract no nothing so I took that money met up with Luke in the gym he said but I haven't told you that I'm willing to sell I want the gym and long and short of it is I had a conversation with him and I made him realise that it was better off taking the money when he took the money 25 grand the next day I rung the landlord and I said to him listen Luke's off the lease I just want to inform you can we get a new lease please remember the landlord was saying to me please don't tell me you've given him the money already are you aware that you haven't paid the service charge on the building for the last three years and you owe me 18 grand so I've just borrowed 25 grand off me mate lost it the next day and ended up 18 grand in debt with 90 quid to my name so I uh runging runging had a disagreement with him it was what it was I'm now trying to work hard to now keep this fucking gym maintained by it he was there for me again so it has me now am ending me a thousand pound each and every month and I was paying her back that thousand pound of in the month just to pay the rent on my house but what happened was um I was getting more and more um in deep in the end um in the end Harry my little brother was working for me at the time um was getting quite concerned about me I started doing videos on training this is how it started all of a sudden um I started having a bit of a fucking um following it went up to something like 60 thousand just on training people were loving it people were coming down they were um paying for pts they were driving all the way from Manchester and I'd be in the fucking cupboard crying my brother would be like this and I don't want to hear your shit go and train crying the car afterwards that's what I was I was fucking doing I was trying to get my head round it so we were working from sometimes 6 in the morning until 10 at night it got to the point um where I was that fucking um um that low and I didn't have anything right so I'm lying now to to Ninzi telling her everything's going to be alright I feel I stayed in the gym one night and I feel the syringe up with insulin and um I cried that much I fell asleep with it in my hand and I woke up the next morning so I went to I tried to go to a doctor and they weren't really taking me seriously came to came to to Christmas 2014 Christmas 2015 Christmas and um and it was it was a couple of days after it was the 27th and I was working at the gym late and uh Lindsay had messaged me to say that um that my Christmas presents have arrived late and she said how long are you going to be baby so I said I'm on my way home so I drove up and I got a long drive and the lights were all on in the house and I went into the living room and uh it was all Christmas presents wrapped up and a diktophone saying play me with a post-it note play me I was cheating bastard Luke told me about everything told me about this woman told me about that woman never cheated on her once not once wrapped all the all the Christmas presents now all the presents that I've maxed out this 800 pound credit card buying a a guy upstairs and um my son was gone that was it that was the last time I I saw him so I fucking lost it and um I think it was a week later Harry turned up at the gym six in the morning and I fucking um a bailiff had repossessed the gym so with a dog so you can imagine Harry's ringing me six in the morning I'd lost it I wasn't seeing fucking nothing I drove down I got out of the car I said you need to move the dog the guy said security with a dog back away from the door and I'm like I'm pleading with you everything I have is in that building if you if I lose this I have nothing you need to move and he was saying security with a dog I said if you don't move I'm gonna shoot you I'm gonna shoot the dog and I don't know how I said it but I said it in a way where he believed me and then I said I warned you and I walked to the boot I swear to you James I had nothing in the boot but a towel so I rolled the towel up and he moved the dog he put it in the back of the fucking in the van as I walked I noticed his keys I took his keys as I noticed his keys he had a fucking hatchet on the dashboard right that's my get out of jail free card I know the police are on their way the police have come down we're gonna have to arrest you for possession of firearm I've got no firearm check the CCTV it's my CCTV it's nothing but a towel okay we're gonna arrest you because you've broken in that he's took repossession of the gym for non-payment of rent it's not non-payment of rent I've paid my rent here's my receipts it's now a civil matter and this is over service charge and maintenance charge and I said I now want to put in a complaint before you start doing anything he threatened me with an axe he's got an axe on his fucking on his dashboard so he turned around and they looked at him you're a legal bailiff why have you brought a fucking axe I'm now in fear for my safety can we come in and take a statement no close the fucking door that was it my accountant he's a good friend of mine he come over to the gym and he said Aaronerson let me have a look at your lease I'm not a lawyer but let me have a look at your lease he said to me your car is on finance your house is rented he said to me Luke owns his own house he owns his own car and his dad was a guarantor on the building he said what you need to do is you need to move your gym yesterday he said it's your equipment move it and he says they'll go for him so I was driving he called me and I was driving over where is it? earthland borough and as my mates talking to me again you can imagine everything's just going fucking in my head and he said are you going to move the stuff I had 300 quid that I managed to borrow off me mate that's all I had in the fucking world apart from that other 90 quid that was to live on as I'm driving I noticed earthland borough traveller site I've looked fucking pulled straight in no warning no nothing my mate said what the fuck are you doing I've drove straight in all these travellers have come out first thing they're thinking is there's going to be a confrontation so some of the wives have come out the guys have come out who you're looking for and then there's one guy come out and I didn't realise that he was his side but he sort of kept quiet and I said I ain't got any trouble I said I'm pretty much in the worst position of my life and I started fucking crying and I said I've got to move a lot of stuff and I've got 300 pound to my name and I need a van and I need some help but I need to move my gym otherwise I'm going to lose that and I'm going to lose everything and they did within probably a couple of hours I was driving down the dual carriage where I had a flatbed with a couple of travellers with all of these fucking metal gym equipment hanging off the back of the van I managed to get a unit three months rent free and started the gym and then that was it a few months into the gym the gym was doing good I'd met Billy, Billy became a good friend and then I lost the fucking plot completely then because then they wouldn't stop trolling me and then I went and I got a gun and I went to drive to Luke's house my brother had known where I was going and he took me on track my iPhone and blocked the road and a couple of days later I went to Jamaica Do you feel as if you were getting buried again that bring back a lot of emotions for you a younger people trolling I couldn't get over what he had done to me took everything from me and I've never let anybody get away with that level of fucking humiliation towards me and my fucking life never ever ever in my life and never since Do you think that's what gave you the fuel then to put into the fire to make you succeed even more that you didn't want to feel that pain anymore you didn't want to hear? No, at the time I didn't want to fight anymore I did that I took the gun, Harry had blocked the road I got out after that I sacked everyone by WhatsApp I told Billy I didn't want to see him I told everybody if they come to my house there'll be a confrontation close to fucking gym and I went to Jamaica I went there I think it was the day before the day I arrived Harry has said to me when I was doing my bodybuilding bits to get my money when I didn't have much money we got busted but I still had some machines he said can you still make that fat burner because you made a fat burner you developed one I said I did it but I didn't I never really pursued it but I said I've got somebody that can make it for me I've known my friend up that I've done business for a long time and he was looking after my machines for me and I said to him can you make me these this is how I want it made and would you be able to do it I can't pay you now but I need this amount but I'll pay you when I've sold it I had 260,000 followers at that point and he said yeah no problem I did it and we put them up for sale and we did 17.5 grand in one hour and then everything changed everything that was one hour then we put them in sale again that was just over one day three lots of 17 so it's gone from having bayliffs at the door to one minute then the next minute I ended up spending three months in Jamaica I came back a completely different person because I didn't go where the tourists went I went in the hills when I came back that was when the PC there was a police thing happened so you potentially could have been go to the jail for murder went away, come back and your life totally transformed when I came back because I started putting the successes online and then I started saying how we were now reinvesting we were going to now do pure alphas testosterone boots we started doing other things but then I made a vow that I was going to make stuff myself because I've been in the bodybuilding industry a long time I know how the companies rip people off that then I started doing seminars and I started doing gym appearances then I did three tours of Ireland doing gym appearances then fucking all of a sudden everyone's booking me to go to different places people are paying up to £130 to have a fucking PT session with me which now I literally wouldn't have the fucking time to do everything just blew up very quickly but because it blew up very quickly then Ninzy and Luke started ringing the police and saying I was selling guns, drugs so now on my head strong I come back, I find out that Billy's been running my gym for me for free didn't close my gym when I told him to so he's been running my gym for me for free didn't want to fucking penny for it so when we started making it I said why do you want a job now he's been with me ever since started training people we're getting people come travel from Manchester, Scotland, Ireland, wherever some people even travelling from Canada to have a PT session, what happened un police coming to the gym I've got clients, well I've got a client on a fucking machine head down, they've got guns pointing at me, guns drawn so what do I do, I get my friend to record it they release me without charge they come round my house accuse me of not having a fucking driving licence record it release me without charge they come into test guys in front of my mum accuse me of possession of a firearm possession, a wear put me in the cells for 11 hours release me without charge I'll record it, all that did just backfire on them I never intended it for that what I intended, the reason why I started filming them is because I've been there on so many occasions where a police officer say I pushed him or assault police and it just fucking escalates I didn't want any of that because I hadn't done anything wrong but fuck it I put it on the internet if you would embarrass me at my place of work I would embarrass you it's as simple as that you had a work course you're constantly promoting but it's funny how the authorities are fucked over when you're younger but your videos on them enhance your career and end up you're already in a good place you're already making your supplements how you're so clued up with the supplements because you've got one of the biggest supplement companies in Britain I've got the biggest there you go it's one of the biggest in the world one of the biggest supplement companies in the world how is that boy turned into a man for all the shit you've been through to then running the biggest supplement company in the world one of the biggest companies isn't it the number one in the world then fuck it because of because of the team that I've got trust everyone now the team that I've got right now implicitly I trust them with my kids I trust them with my bank details I trust them with my life everything I've got some family that are blood in my team and I've got some friends in my team but in my team they all mean to me more than any anybody ever could how was it when you were getting arrested these videos have been viewed tens of millions of times because that must have been through your start your transitions because that's when I started falling you was when the pc dickhead and the police videos because your videos are totally night and day now from then four or five years ago till now you became a totally different animal where do you look back at those videos and kind of cringe or do you go fuck it that was part of the process to what you're doing now I cringe in the fact because at the time I was embarrassed I was getting humiliated when the police turn up to arrest me they don't need to park their fucking at my place of work they don't need to park their car an arm response car the other side of town and they march me through fucking town that isn't how they're taught to do a tactical fucking arrest they did that on purpose to try and humiliate me to try and ruin my fucking business and you were coming to my house telling me I don't have a fucking driving license but I'm showing you my counterpart but your systems are down you can't check and I can get my car back the following day with the same fucking forms there's no reason for that that's why I get the camera out but let me make this very clear I believe when you get if you're lucky enough to get a social media platform as strong as yours or as strong as mine in my opinion you gain a responsibility now it's very careful I have to be very careful not to betray hatred against the police because I don't hate the police for one fucking second if my daughter went missing tomorrow and my son went missing tomorrow they'll be the first people that I call and I've got a lot of fans that a police officer what I don't like what I do have a problem with is individuals individuals that abuse their position whether they're in a media position or a police position I don't like that and that is what I will I will fight against it's about it's not always about who's right and who's wrong sometimes it's about what is right and that is what what I primarily base my videos on it's like when I stuck up for not just Muslims in Manchester but Muslims around the fucking world when the horrific Manchester attacks happened that video of mine had over 60 million views I had Muslims around the world fucking saying how refreshing it was that a white guy of tattoos on his fucking face is actually sticking sticking up for us of course I don't fucking condone what fucking happened in Manchester no person in their own fucking mind does but I don't call that person a fucking Muslim the guy's a fucking lunatic he's a fucking killer he's something not right about him and somebody said but if that was your kid that got fucking hurt in there you wouldn't be sticking up for the Muslims then if that was my kid that got hurt in there I wouldn't be able to go at fucking Ali at the corner shop down the road I don't know what to do with him what has he got to do with it it's about what you're doing is generalising others and I see things and I now have a platform so now people listen to me you know kids that fucking don't really have much listen to me people that live in the life of crime sometimes listen to me people that do normally have a lot of hatred in them sometimes listen to me and if you've got a platform you can make people think you've got on my social media for that and I don't want to portray hatred against the police I've been pulled fucking how many times by the police even recently you know and even one woman from my number plate bless her she pulled me she didn't get out the cart until the back up arrived there was loads of police cars I got out I smiled I said are they for me she said yeah I need to talk to you about your number plate I said no problem I said it's on the dashboard and she looked at me and she smiled and she went on surprise I haven't got the camera out yet Aaron and I went why would I do that just when I've been pricked I'm not going to put somebody on the internet and potentially ruin their career and life just to get fucking views they've done nothing to me they've treated me with respect if they're going to try and abuse their position abuse their power against me then I've got my fucking power and my power in my opinion is equal to this I've seen how powerful that is do you think they could have planted stuff on you if you never have a deal with them at that point do you know what I mean and I'm scared of that now I'm telling you now looking in your face I'm fucking petrified of that petrified because your life's going so good whenever I'm in the UK I don't drive on my own I try not to this is the reason because I'm scared that that's going to happen I'm scared I'm going to lose everything I've got I'm scared that I'm going to bump into a Luke and I'm going to walk into Nando's I'm going to walk into somewhere you're taking my money at that point because of you I've lost my son I can't just allow you to walk away so what I do now is I know what I know what I will do so what I do is I don't put myself in that situation I try and stay when I'm in the UK at the gym at the coffee shop or around people or I now have people that I pay to look after me and it's the same in the car because I don't trust that they won't pull me over and put something in there you've got to think of what I've earned now of them they've spent a lot of money trying to fuck me even up until recently they've just taken, they've tried to sue me but the chief constable of Northamptonshire Police versus Aralamba and I've had a court case for the last four or five months which we've just won so now not only have they lost everything over the PC they kept stuff stow five years ago and they started the court case about four or five months ago what could they do you father harassment harassment I think the long and short of it is they wanted to get a court order against me a gagging order so I'm not allowed to post against the police in the future I said I'm not going to do that because that's breach of my human rights and in order to get a court order in place to do that you have to pass a law with parliament and then you have to take me to the high court now I know this because I researched all that myself and as Natalie's in there is my witness I was in court and I had a constable versus Aralamba I had the team of their police behind and three of their fucking legal team and I represented myself and I won again with correspondence every legal letter I wrote them was what I won I researched and I fucking won but they haven't but I think what they were intending to do is once they got that court order imposed on me then through the police federation you've then got PC Dickhead and the other officers they could then sue me off the back of that so that was the intention of it but they lost but you were not getting done for you were providing your insurance and license so you weren't even doing anything no so that's why then you're still wary of if they got that order in place then they could have planted something on you outside of my team I don't fucking trust anybody and I don't fucking trust anybody anyway it's as simple as that but you've got a right to feel that way brother because everything you've went through do you know what I mean you weren't convinced things started booming how were you feeling when your social media was rising and it was hitting millions of followers and you became very successful was there a moment where you took a step back and done do you know what man, fucking happy was there a moment where you appreciated life a bit because you know we struggled to do that I think we have this conversation regularly and I feel that if I do start doing that then you sort of take your eye off the ball we have the conversation but I don't think I can it doesn't seem real it's weird doesn't it people keep telling me you're doing well you're smashing it, you're killing it nothing feels fucking I couldn't even explain it to you James and do it justice what you've seen which you're telling me is incredible you're saying you should be fucking proud of yourself I'm proud of what you've achieved and what you know is fucking to the scale of it and this isn't me it will sound like I'm boasting but I'm trying to explain even as I'm explaining the scale of it of the stuff that you don't know how fucking big it actually is I wouldn't be able to do it justice it's fucking mind blowing yeah it's crazy man but I love that shit that's what turns me on see when people have came for the depths I fucking hear and make changes in that I watch your videos and you're on boats you're driving Lamborghinis listen I know a majority of people are fucking so fake remember apparently see what happens in life people are going to look at you and go fuck him but you're going to else give the other half inspiration if he can do it then I can do it that's what I want to do set a platform for my boy who came from fuck all and self made I'm creating everything myself and people go do you know what if he can do it I can do it the haters fuck them man that's just the shit in your shoe what I gotta realise is I only put on the internet of what you want people to see so people criticize me you own all this money but I don't see giving any money to fucking charity that's because I don't do it for views we've done a lot actually for individuals haven't we and you don't do that no it doesn't I've got the right to earn my fucking money how I want to fucking earn it and I've got the right to spend it how I want to fucking spend it but what I'm not and I don't need anybody's approval on this is I'm not fucking fake so you know I know when I watch these other social media public figures and they're fucking they're making sure they're recording everything that they're giving to somebody who's disadvantaged there's a reason for that if you get offered to do a charity appearance or somewhere that's what it's there for because you're bringing awareness to it when I'm treating members of the team fucking course it's costing me a fortune I love them to bits and we're fucking getting views out of it brilliant but when it comes to a fucking kid and especially things that we were doing over we were ranging over the Covid period you know for some of the elderly as well we didn't fucking announce that once and when I contacted somebody to and gave them a load of money and told them to distribute certain things he even said to me our and which business do you want me to advertise the vodka to suffer was this I said none let's talk about businesses because they don't need to know who it's from right how many businesses you've got from someone who was flat on their ass £300 left I see you constantly working cafe shops you've got clothing brands and the mental brand mental hamster which is the bread and butter that's the supplements we've got mental culture which is the clothing we've got mental vodka which is the vodka we've got mental monkey which is not just a coffee shop it's our actual own brand of coffee everything that we've done we've gone straight to the saw straight for the heart and we actually want to own it so the vodka is the company that makes ours like white label we make it ourselves the mental monkey coffee that's our own registered blend the supplements we own every single machine that makes every single supplement so from the factory to the warehouse it's all yours it's phenomenal it's fucking phenomenal and I know you'll be proud of your gran and fucking it's unbelievable you should be proud man you should sit in a room feel it for two minutes and go look yourself in the mirror and go do you know what I'm fucking proud because sometimes we can work too hard mate and forget how far we've come sometimes we can concentrate on another finishing line if you want to get another shot or use supplement sometimes we don't enjoy the journey and life is about enjoying the journey and that's what I need to do we constantly working but sometimes I feel as if I'm missing out on a lot because I'm working so hard I just don't want it to stop because I know how much misery I had in my life for 32, 33 years I'm searching a good place things are going too good but I know they're going too good I know shit's just round the corner but I can handle things in a better situation now I don't react through a drink or drugs or hide I handle it like a man I face on and just go fuck it but for all your achievements you should be proud and this is the first I've met in person and I'm proud because people are going to watch and go fuck me what a story and I've interviewed 120 people I believe this is one of my best if not the best very powerful brother very powerful right from start to finish I want to make it clear before we end there'll be a lot of people that do inbox and they watch this and they think fuck you know success is the key to fucking helping your mental health and the reason why I'm not getting excited when you say about you should get excited about it and feel proud of it and yeah I do and when I have my bonding moments with Natalie or with a team and I have some good days especially with my kids it's great but you've got to remember that mental health doesn't give a fuck about how much money you've got in a bank what car you drive sometimes it can wake you up hi hi Aaron it's me we're spending the day together today I'm going to remind you of everything remember your son remember your mates remember when this happened remember that and you've got a fucking day of it and anybody who suffers with mental health knows exactly what I'm fucking talking about and that it doesn't get any fucking easier in fact sometimes if you think about it you're more at risk because now I have a lot more and there's people that are willing to take advantage you said it yourself about sharks when you become successful they're just fucking out for every you think you're working hard to earn your money and there's somebody working twice as hard to take it from you so now you have to protect yourself and it's constant fucking power and wear constant fucking protection constant second guessing then you've got the responsibility everybody relying on your decision to make things right to come up with something fucking good as well as dealing with your own fucking issues so it's I wouldn't change my position for the world because I get to see my team and me experience stuff that we've never experienced before and we get to we get to help a lot of people along the way there's no fucking better job but make no mistake it ain't fucking easy but again it doesn't matter you're fucking doing it your prime example it can't be done all the external stuff I don't know people going on yet but it's different if you're staying in a big house and driving a Lamborghini all that shit is irrelevant because if you're not happy with it everything else means fuck all it means fuck all I drive about a £300 fucking Mazda or a Vectra I'm more financially secure now when I back in the day I wanted to have the best the biggest all the bullshit of the day when I had fuck all now I'm actually happy I'm travelling I ain't got fuck all I've got less I've got fucking less but don't get me wrong I'm going to get a bit of luxury at the end of the year so if you want to pass me one of your Lamborghinis that's more than what would you want me to I think you're being a bit harder than yourself you know exactly what you want to do and how you're going to do it and how you're going to use people, me and other people along the way and when I say use there's nothing wrong with using people there's nothing wrong with the word manipulation people use the word manipulation always in a negative way I manipulate the fuck out of you you're going to manipulate the fuck out of me there's a difference between doing it for a mutual benefit and then doing it for a selfish benefit you haven't paid me to come on here I haven't asked for anything I know exactly why you fucking want to interview me and you told me on the phone I know you're going to get the views but at the same time I've also watched some of your interviews and I know that you're going to ask me questions and I know that I don't ever refuse to answer difficult questions so it's a mutual fucking benefit where the problem comes is when people try to manipulate people for self gain but that's a successful business dynamise about business women you see what you can do coming on here and I see it I potentially know your story I know the following you've got I know the traffic you're going to bring everything I do is for me I've got family support but there is no bullshit I've still got an agenda you've got an agenda everybody's got an agenda but that's where success comes because you can see success from it in positivity same as myself first before we finish up your tattoos explain your tattoos because I know everything means something to you your tribal tattoos is that a tribal tattoo on your face? is it Maui? New Zealand does that like they're fucking all blacks they're tongs out the original one I had on the face meant something this one sort of does but not in a not in a meaningful way as in me but the original Maui's were done with dots and the guy it's the closest you're going to get for the original isn't it he did it with the machine so if you look it's actually not lions it's dots but each triangle means strength, power when you look into the original Maui warriors each shape will mean something what about future plans what's your visions? my visions new ideas, new goals moving away, travelling the world we're just taking it day by day I have I have a five year plan which I'm not going to tell you fuck all about but as far as as far as what's my plans now I mean we've got things going on with the company new products that we're bringing out the company is getting bigger and bigger we're now expanding it over in Spain as well listen my plan now is my team have helped me getting the position that I'm in some of my team including Natalie my sister now, my business partner is now in the same position as me but my now long term goal is to get every member of my team in the same position as me and give the two children that I do see all the time the best life that I can possibly give and only hope in the future that I can maybe do something with Calele that will happen my plan right now moving forward each and every day what fucking inspires me to keep moving forward knowing that I'm waking up every morning and because I'm breathing that's really fucking someone off knowing that the people around where I live nor fans, they have to see monkey they have to see mental hamster they go home, turn on fucking Skystore, they see the Lambo movie they go on Amazon Prime, they see the Lambo movie they've blocked me on all social media platforms but their mate Dave has just shared a video and it's fucking come up that that is what really fucking inspires me I'm just relentless where does the names come from mental hamster monkey erm you? no we had alpha, alpha training and the bigger the company got we realised there was nine companies in England alone called alpha and one of them was already registered so you're opening yourself up especially when you're as controversial as me so we had a day of brainstorming and Harry actually come up with it and he said what about mental hamster what about mental hamster and he looked at me and he went you name me another animal that exercises twice or down a fucking wheel and then he said to me would you put your finger in a cage with a mental hamster and I was like well no there you go and he went what a piss take so we turned up a body power the biggest fucking exhibition in the UK everyone laughed at us said that it was going to be an epic fail and we dominated the fucking expo of a hamster and from then on we wanted a coffee shop so I was in a furniture shop and I saw this picture of a mental monkey and I just went fucking mental monkey now we've got mental vodka and now we've just brought another mental something which I can't say now but erm life's mental right I think we've proved this over the last six months what's fucking going on mental is probably the best fucking name I could probably have used the call of business to describe me in the journey that's him brother if I'm coming on and telling your story in the latest 10 minutes I believe this is one of the biggest podcasts that I've done with your honesty and your honesty I think people are going to see the vulnerability and the sensitive side to you and not just the man who's successful in business you're also a friendly guy very loving and caring towards your family I've also seen your videos where you're taking your friends out and family members and getting them cars and giving back and that's a beautiful thing man that's a position I want to but very soon I will be very soon and when I watch your stuff I go fuck me man fair play and listen I'm still a jealous person I still look at people and go back do you know what I mean I'm not going to lie I did that when I got the boat the other week I saw someone with a bigger boat I was a prick he's probably the nicest guy in the world for anybody struggling with mental health or being abused what advice would you give for the matter don't fucking give up if somebody wants you if someone from your past whatever it may be the ultimate goal is to get you to give up and I ain't giving up it doesn't matter whether we're fighting and you're a lot tougher and I'm just going to keep getting up and keep getting up and that's how I treat life I can't I can't give up I'm relentless and that's when you suffer from mental health what you've got to understand as dark as it may be right now you have to believe this is the worst it's ever going to be and that is how I now I use this saying a lot I always say now this is the worst it's going to be so you set this level so you say with your 300lb car with what you've got now the people you've interviewed think about it you're only going to interview bigger people more people so this right now and you're happy right now this is the worst it's going to be so my position right now I've set this level this is the worst it's going to be so now it can only fucking get better so when you're in a dark is fucking place it doesn't matter whether in my position your position or whether you've just lost both your fucking kids and you've got a fucking rope in your hand it's only going to get better from it it can only get better it's impossible to get any worse so all you've got to think is right now wherever your position is it's the worst it's ever going to be I always tell people you've tried 100% your worst days so you're right mate you've got to kick it on but Aaron listen I've thoroughly enjoyed your story look forward to your success even more and I'll be keeping my close eye on that yeah thank you for your thoughts on this week's podcast thank you