 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm your host Jonathan as I have Jonathan as I comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic Why would a man stay in an unhealthy relationship? Why would a man stay and excuse me in an unhappy relationship unhealthy unhappy kind of goes either way, right? Really quickly if you've been interested in hiring a coach, but you go God I just can't afford it. Check out my link below to my VIP group Just click the link read what's in there if you would like to have direct access to me and ask questions on a regular basis Check out the link below so you can have access to me. All right Why would a man stay in an unhappy relationship? This is actually a question that happens to come across my desk often or at least in the comments They were like, why would a man do that? and I it seems like a an Obvious question or not an obvious question, but a question that Surprises me because I guess my question is why would a woman stay in an unhappy relationship? Why would anyone want to stay in an unhappy relationship? but what's so fascinating to me and what I'm going to go deeper in today is that men are often being accused of commitment phobic of Being unable to commit and yet what's so interesting is that over two-thirds of divorces are Initiated by women. They are the ones to initiate it. In fact men it probably is even higher than that women probably initiate divorces More like 80% of the time. It's because what men do is once they're in a relationship. They tend to nest N-e-s-t they nest what it means is so long as they're getting their Minimum of needs Matt they're bare minimum of needs that they met they rarely go out and seeking attention elsewhere now That's not to say that Highly sexually driven men might not go seek sex elsewhere or women for that matter I mean my content isn't singular to men even though the titles are because everything I say can go both ways but Well, I am saying let me retract that because I am saying men stay in relationships more than women But I want you to understand this a little bit deeper because if you're not following the work of Esther Perrell You want to read the book mating in captivity by Esther Perrell? Mating in captivity because she talks about not so much in the book, but in her work you want to Google stable Ambiguity stable ambiguity and what that is is human beings will stay in a relationship So long as they're bare minimum needs get met Because the the alternative means that they're gonna be single if they I mean if they end the relationship and move on to another person So many people men and women alike will stay in unhappy relationships furthermore They'll stay in unhealthy relationships because it's better to have something than nothing It's better to have something or nothing and that's sad that's sad that humans will do that and Usually because they are lacking something deep inside of them and whether it's a man or a woman They're lacking a real deep sense of self-love Now I know the word self-love might turn some people off, but I'm here to say self-love means self-worth Self-confidence self-reliant self-discipline if you're not familiar with my book what the heck is self-love anyway? I talk about this in the book How do we because when a person doesn't love on themselves? They'll stay in a mediocre relationship ladies You've been doing this for years hoping that something will change hoping that magic fairy dust Will sprinkle and change our relationship? People will spend decades Praying for change when the change is like get the fuck out I'm sorry. I'm being blunt, but you know what? Nobody should stay in an unhappy relationship and sadly know it should definitely stay in an unhealthy relationship It's hard. Why is it hard because we've been so conditioned To believe that we we need someone else to love us for us to feel good about ourselves We need someone else to love us for us to feel good about ourselves. Let me see if I have my book the book attached here Excuse me Attached if you're not a familiar with love attachment style, please study this oftentimes many of you women are staying in relationships because of a Childhood wound or trauma that makes you bond with a man who might be unhealthy with you And when you learn about why this happens you have an opportunity to Extricate yourself from an unhealthy relationship Certainly seek a therapist seek professional help if it's that Traumatic of a relationship, but why would a man stay in an unhealthy relationship or in a happy relationship because we tend to nest and Sadly many men just put the bare minimum and I'm here to encourage you to seek a relationship with a man I did a video recently called Only date this kind of man you should only date this kind of man and whether it's coming out before after this video I don't know when but definitely check this out because that's my invitation for you Don't you choose an unha who gives a fuck why a man stays an unhealthy relationship? In fact when I'm asked that I'm like why do you care that they do you should be caring? Why would you stay in an unhealthy relationship and chances are because you're choosing stable ambiguity and please? Don't do that anymore. Okay, I've been told I'm like a father yelling at you I'm very parental in the way I coach because I'm like I want to shake you up I yell oftentimes is a wake-up call And I'm here to suggest to wake up and choose yourself choose loving on yourself because then you won't be choosing unhappy relationships Boy, I was so excited. I said a mouthful All right, I think you get the gist of where I'm going with all this Love on yourself because who cares if a guy choose an unhappy relationship What matters most is what you're going to do to choose a happy relationship for yourself And that's what I want you to do is choose a happy relationship for yourself. Okay? All right Hey, listen, you probably have something to say on this video Please write a comment below if you're new to my youtube channel click the subscribe button hit the bell And if you don't know me I'm gonna wrap my videos I out wrap up my videos as I always do giving myself first a big gigantic hug of self-love I'm gonna reach into the screen and give you a hug of love I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone around you and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And we can use a lot more love in our lives Thanks so much and wishing you a fabulous day. Bye. Bye now