 What's up everybody? Welcome back to my channel. Welcome to the third episode of our little podcast here And today I have some friends with me. This is Jo idea and her husband Dom They've been on my channel before it's been a while. Yes But we thought that we would go through some of the red flags and green flags that you guys have sent us over on my Instagram when it comes to Dating and I figured you know we have a single woman's perspective and then we have a married woman's perspective and a married Perspective so the couple different perspectives here. Yeah, we have to work with so Dom has my phone. He has all of your Comments and suggestions that you guys sent in. Are you guys ready? Yeah, I think so And we should probably say before we start we were just talking about this before we turn the camera on We're gonna put a little disclaimer here. Okay. These are our opinions Mm-hmm, and even our opinions might differ from each other This is just what kind of works for us so it may not work for you So if we maybe don't agree with you don't take it personally. It's just kind of what works for us So yeah, yeah, take this all with a grain of salt. Yeah, this is from our experiences And I'll try to just kind of pick some of these and let you guys do most of the talking Okay, but I'll chime in when I feel like I want to defend that You are in control. You're done. Okay, so red flag Says he's big on communication usually means they're not What do you think? I feel like if you have to I don't know I feel like verbally saying it means that it's at least at the forefront of your mind But I don't want to take that as a red flag. I wouldn't take it as a red flag either I mean the red flag would be the lack of actions that followed. Yeah Because if someone asked me like on a first date like what's something that's really important in your relationship And I said like communication. I'm a big on communication. I wouldn't think that's a red flag But you just have to like prove that you mean it. Yeah, exactly If you say that and then I mean immediately you're no like not texting or like you don't call right or something like that You know, that's kind of right going back on what you're saying Red flag when your significant other tells white lies frequently. Oh, I hate that. That's definitely. Oh, no I hate that. That's just a red flag right white lies are kind of just why? Yeah, I know. There's a difference between a white lie and an exaggeration of story That's very Yeah, like if you're telling a story and you like want to exaggerate it I guess a little bit so like, you know, don't get in the way of like a good story But it's not like changing the truth. Exactly. Yeah, and what like doing white lies just for the fun of it I never understood like sorry to cut you off. Yeah, I never understood the like keeping things from your partner It's like why that's your partner if you can't tell them the truth then like Yeah, what's the point? I don't know. All right, this one we talked about a bit before we started red flag He won't post you and I'm assuming that means on social media Yeah, I mean I feel like it depends on the person Um, like if you are a regular poster on Instagram and you start dating someone and you're getting serious Then I feel like you probably should post them if you are you know an active user But if you're someone like me and Dom who don't really use social media Yeah, if you don't post someone I wouldn't take that as an offense. You just have to know your partner exactly If it's someone who posts on their stories regularly or out with their friends Then that means that they enjoy using social media And so if you have someone in your life that you're proud to show off Then if you're an active user like Johnny said then it would be a red flag if they chose to post everything but you Then you start to feel like you're like being hidden on purpose and that's not good So right but it depends. I didn't even post when we got married. Yeah, right So context. Yeah, it depends on like how you use social media. Yeah, I'm weird. So Okay Let's find another one green flag goes to therapy Green flag. I agree with this. Love that. I always said that I really think the world would be a better place if everyone gets even just like a month of therapy Totally green flag for me. Yeah. Yeah, definitely red flag incapable of doing things solo and gets mad when you do Oh, yeah, that's a huge red flag. You are an independent person Outside of your relationship When you come together like it's definitely it's always good to like want to do things together But I think it's you know also good to you know do things independently and stuff. So not hidden But independent, right? You shouldn't you shouldn't need To be with your person you should just want to be exactly your person I think my biggest gripe with that one was gets mad when you do. Yes. That's a yeah. Yeah, that's that's definitely a red flag That's just toxic. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, how he treats his mother and sisters says a lot about how he will treat you Yeah, yeah, I believe it. I don't know if that would be I saw I guess a green flag then would be Treats his mom and sister with respect. Yeah, there's a lot of that kind of stuff Yeah, that's one of the first things my mom taught me about like guys and dating was like be careful How he treats his mom? Hmm. I'm trying to think about how I treat my sisters You treat them with love and like, you know, you guys go around. It's not disrespect or anything like that And you guys all have a great relationship annoying to them. I think Well, you're the little brother. Yeah brother, so red flag they get overly upset if you glance at their phone screen Yeah, yeah Yeah, I think it's a two-way street like one Why do you feel the need to look over at their phone? But to yeah, it's a red flag for them to get overly defensive I don't think it's necessarily wrong. I guess to be private, but there's a difference between being private and being secretive, so Yeah Getting overly defensive is definitely a red flag because it's like why you should be an open love to your partner That's right. I think I agree. Absolutely. Okay green flag arranges the date instead of asking what you want to do Oh, we love that. That's interesting because there's actually another one here I think that I saw a red flag that said the same thing doesn't ask for your input on the on the first date I mean, I agree when a guy Asks you out you don't want to always have to be especially like a on the first date I feel like it's nice to have something planned for you now if you're Four dates in and your opinion is never taken into consideration or you're never asked What do you want to do then that's a different story? Mm-hmm, but I can confirm from a woman's point of view that it is nice to just be told like hey I made reservations for us at X place for 7 p.m. Mm-hmm. I'll pick you up. Yeah, exactly something very romantic about that Mm-hmm. I think getting picked up for the first day is a red flag green flag Neither me personally it's just a preference thing, but like I don't need you to know where I live yet now You know, I would feel weird asking That yeah, I'll pick you up where you live, right? It's weird. I feel like nowadays now a day red flag Overly kissing and touching on the first date three red flags on this one three red flags. Yeah Yeah, yeah Um, I would agree It's a red flag listen I'm all if if the vibes are good the vibes are good I'm not gonna say first date like no kissing. I'm not gonna say that if it feels right. It feels right but for me personally My comfort levels there has to be a line if I just met you that day and You know, I'm being like held and hands everywhere. It's a little too much. I agree for me Yeah, because if it's going well and there are going to be other dates, then there's plenty of time for that exactly, you know I like this one green flag benching over 200 pounds. That's Jake That's my friend Jake. I It's great. I was I responded and said red flag Because he was talking about himself I Jake This one is this one's interesting I'm curious to see what you think about it because I know what you're gonna think I think okay red flag sharing location Okay, I saw that someone sent this and I was gonna bounce off of you guys So I actually don't even know whether you share locations or we do yeah, we should have we should so every couple pretty much that I know Shares location like it's just normal and like my friends have my location My mom has my location and I have theirs. So for me sharing a location is never a Bad thing because again, it comes back to well if there's nothing to hide then what's the big deal? Especially someone who you've been with like long-term like it's a long-term serious relationship And they're like a lot of feel comfortable giving you my location. I think that's a huge red flag I think I think there's a really big context to this too. I'm sure like if Excuse me. I think it's a it's a good thing. We did it in college and it was super helpful But if it's the kind of thing where someone is like pressuring like oh share your location with me share location I wonder where like where you're going, especially like Yeah, does that make sense? I think it's a red flag overall like yeah to like not share locations I think at what point you start sharing locations and start having a conversation can You know be green or red flag depending on how you do and how you go about it And so because I think if you're just dating you've gone on three dates or something There's not even like a label or anything like that You know, but like if you've been together for like, you know, six months I don't think it's a weird name to ask and I think you know It's I think it's worth having a conversation about but if you're like immediately start dating you know, you're my boyfriend now You're my girlfriend now. Okay, give me your location. Yeah, that's a problem But if it's like a year a year and a half in and I don't think it's an issue Yeah, also from experience of being married for almost a year. You just always know where your spouse is Yeah, but it's helpful sometimes to say green flag if they know your coffee order or orders in general I think it's also nice, you know, if they are feeling generous one day and they want to get you your favorite, you know Lunch or breakfast coffee, whatever the thing is, you know, that's a nice thing to know. Okay This one just says good with kids for exclamation points. I'm assuming that's a green flag They didn't specify that's why I'm saying Probably green flag. Yeah, I don't think being good with kids couldn't be really be a red flag Yeah, when they expect the girl to pay for her share all the time That's what you start at this one me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I well, I would never do that. Okay I would never do that. That's just the way I was raised would be that I would pay for everything I'm sorry. What did I say? Was it first date or just it's just when they expect the girl to pay for her share all the time All the time I'll context this with it says all the time, right? So, I mean if you're going on a date, especially in the beginning, yes I personally will call me old-fashioned. I believe it's the men's man's responsibility to pay for them Y'all for the date and stuff if you've been dating for a while though I mean this should become a shared responsibility now because that's gonna become taxed Depending on one part of the relationship's finance Finances and like, yeah, if you go on vacation, there's no way like I should be expecting to pay for your cruise ticket or something like that Yeah, like you should at some point that switches I think so like if if you're out like if I'm being asked out on the date and you're asking me to come meet you Then I feel like yeah, it's the nice thing to do as the person who initiated the date To like treat that person. Yeah, I agree with them like, you know the first few days in the beginning I think it's Nice if the man wants to pay and I think it's yeah It shows some chivalry that like he you know, maybe is you know just holds those morals and stuff like that So he's just like you know, he wants to be nice But I also think there is a part on the woman's side to also maybe if you're gonna pick the restaurant Maybe you don't pick like the four-star Michelin, you know There's a part on your side as well By the man should pick and plan it so they can cater it to their I think it's important to like even though I Don't say it's like a game because it's not but it's a first date for example I would especially if I was asked on the date like I would Say expect but like I would appreciate if he treated me right, but I think it's important also to Be appreciative. Yes, I always will like reach for my wallet anyway Of course, you always hope that they're like no, no, no, I could put it away, but like it's important to Show appreciation that it's just expected like you take it for granted This is a good one I agree with this one a lot red flag when they don't show you the same energy when they're with their friends That's definitely our red flag. Yeah, you shouldn't have multiple different personalities with different people and stuff Yeah, I agree with that, but also it's like another thing communication Context wise because maybe they're just like a different person with their friends. They're not used to Kind of you know having a relationship and then like you bring a spouse in and it's it's it's a different dynamic now And so like I'm a different person with my high school friends than I am when we're hanging out the three of us together Sure, so in the beginning it might be like in the beginning it might come across as a jarring like Who is this person? You know what I mean because you're kind of different when you're with other people Yeah, I mean I think be different people bring different sides of you out But I don't think it's you changing as a person like every girl that has a girl's night with her friends You know you act like different with your girlfriends, then you do like when your husband's around So that's normal, but I don't think it's something huge where like you're like I shouldn't be where you're like Completely like keeping a part of yourself from your partner because I'm not yeah. Yeah. Yeah I've seen a couple like this. So red flag. He is rude to waiters cashiers in supermarkets, etc Absolutely. That's one of my biggest pet views. That is a red flag. Such a red flag as a person That's awful. Yeah, you should treat everybody with the same amount of respect and dignity that they deserve No matter what their profession is and no matter if they're in front of the counter or behind the counter Green flag both of you agree slash disagree on marriage having children and religion Yeah, I mean that's a great green flag Excuse me with the agree slash disagree Or I guess like You both have the same views views. Oh, that's very I think that's very important very important I think if one person is like that they know for sure that they never want to have kids But you know that you want to have kids um, I mean that's a that's What do you do? Yeah, like there's gonna be difficult to get through. Yeah, exactly So it's like, I mean not laying it all out on the first date or anything But you know if there are certain parts of your life that you're not willing to compromise on I mean, I think it works. Yeah, and then if you find someone that you agree with obviously, that's a wonderful That's a great green flag. Yeah, it's okay to call that an orange flag if you disagree Maybe like a proceed with caution Kind of like this should be something we talk about because I mean there are lots of Very successful relationships with people in different religions or Sure different views on I think marriage is a big one. I think you should you should be in the same boat there But um And kids too, but even that like can change. Yeah, but if you have the same view, I would make I would think of it being like Proceed with caution kind of thing I don't know if that makes sense Maybe to dig deeper into it as something that should be at least talked about Yeah, I think the when it comes to religion too though The thing that I always think about is like it's cool to like disagree and just have like conversations about it But when like kids come into the picture, how do you decide? How to raise your your kid you just not talk about it at all or do you just favor one side? I think that's that's really hard. It becomes then you really got to get into the communication Yeah, and then green flag on a couple goes to therapy together We do too. Yeah And that kind of ties into this one. So red flag wanting something casual no commitment ever Like it's just someone that just doesn't want to settle down ever. Yeah, that's a red flag It's a red flag unless you meet someone who has the same mentality Mm-hmm Then I guess your green flags for each other But like if you're like someone like me for example who like wants to settle down and has kids Someone who tells me that they never want to settle down. It would be a huge red flag. Yeah Just want to shout out the profile picture of this asker. It's a wonderful wedding shot Yeah, okay Sorry, here we go. I'm gonna throw this one in there red flag smoker ultimate red flag I don't know if they mean cigarettes or something different But they're calling that a red flag. That's a preference thing Like for me personally, I'm I'm not a huge fan of that because I personally don't do it myself. So I don't know how We would like mesh very well But again, if it's like, you know what I'm saying, like there's a lid for every pot So like for someone else that wouldn't be a big deal. You've never heard. I've never heard that Am I guys There's a lid for every pot. So So like there's someone out there for everyone like everybody like could find their match. There's a Yes, I thought it was the pot. Well, yeah, I guess you could decide who's what but Oh, I like this one green flag Opening doors for you active listener encourages and supports you. Oh, we love that. Yeah Opening doors for you. That's such a nice little I love that. You know, people don't like that I don't understand that some people thought it was like mean or Or something like you could open a door yourself I'll open a door for anyone. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, it's not even like a romantic thing It's just like a nice thing to do for people. What about opening a car door? Yeah, how do you feel about that? I will not say like, oh, he doesn't open my car door. Like I'm never going to talk to him again Yeah, yeah, but when it happens I'm like I'm a size five and a half Like that's you know, like that's You know, I was gonna say actually I'm a size five Oh my gosh I feel like I feel that I If we're going someplace swanky usually because I will I will not do this all the time. First of all, it just takes way too long It's it's obsessed Like if we're going someplace nice and if I'm wearing a suit and tie then I'm gonna be like I'm gonna pull out all the James Bond steps that I'm walking over and open the door open Because then I also feel super fancy. Yeah, you know, I agree. Like I think it's it's nice. It's classy It's classy, but it shouldn't be expected all the time. It's not like a deal breaker. Do you guys know the sidewalk rule? No, yes, I do. I know that the man should always be on the side That's another thing too where I wouldn't say that that's like an actual like deal breaker never talked to you again Really? I love that. That's like a 50-50 thing though. I mean, I could just it's very rare. It could just be by accident Yeah, some people just don't even know that that exists. Yeah, but it's just a matter of if you know it If you know, you know Yeah, exactly So you wouldn't tell them that if it bothered you No, I don't think it's something that would bother me Could you imagine telling someone you have to stand there because if we get hit You're supposed to hit that whole point of it. Yeah, or like if you if like there's like a big puddle like a splash or like something You're like there to like barricade Okay, I like that better. Um, and now I'm just going off book here We were talking with the sidewalk rule and I was saying how there are other little Things like that like what the man does and I read this quote From I don't remember the exact quote, but it was it was Something that one of the royal the English royalty said and his thing was that his style was always just like Gray tuxedos and like gray suits and he never wore anything flashy Because this thing was he said that he was literally the accessory To his wife So he was just there to like be not seen really and just kind of like let her shine I thought that was really cool and I and I was like I like that, you know Not to like flaunt and try to steal the spotlight. Okay. Here we go. This is this is a good one Green flag good relationship with mom red flag too good of a relationship with mom Yes, I mean a green flag for having a great relationship with your mom. That's never a bad thing um, I think there comes a point um when you know I think it just becomes sort of like a trust issue between like if you don't trust your girlfriend or wife More than you trust your mom, you know, it's and it's you should always have a great relationship with your mother um But yeah, I think at some point you're there has to be a shift from like this is now the most important woman in my life And honestly it goes, you know from the son, but also from the mother's perspective Also, like, you know, she has to let her son go and stuff and build that relationship with his wife And you know girlfriend stuff as well Yeah, I just disagree with the wording of too good of a relationship It's too good of a relationship sounds to me like it would be a healthy relationship. They probably mean unhealthy I would say red flag, but it's an unhealthy relationship with their mom There was another one talking about mom still does everything for him in his 20s or in his late 20s Also, just I know it's not a bad thing when relationships have to change because you're in a relationship And then just going off of that like if you're a guy and say you have a bunch of close friends that are girls Um, I don't think it's a bad thing that those relationships might change because you start dating someone seriously So that's a that's a whole other discussion There was another one kind of like that that said red flag he has a Best friend is a girl who doesn't like you. It might have said he even hates you. That's a common thing That is a huge red flag Huge It's I will say it is hard like You know if I got into a relationship and one of my guy friends like How do I say this nicely I have a guy friends in my life that when I was in a relationship they they Flat out told me that they took a little step back because they wanted to make sure that they're respectful And as the person in the relationships like me who kind of like is like in the middle I can Appreciate that it is a tricky thing It's it's hard to feel like in the middle because you're like, oh, but that's that's my friend and that's my partner Like it's different But it is a normal thing that relationships do kind of have to change not like never to never be friends again Like don't talk nothing But like I would never go just in a relationship go have dinner with my guy friend. It's just us too. Yeah Some people disagree on that me personally. I think it's just a respect thing Now i'm gonna throw in one more thing with that Um, you guys might disagree with this, but if I if you flip the switch a bit I think you could possibly say it's a red flag If like your sister or your mom doesn't like the person I think that's a tricky one because I mean You obviously your mom and your sister are like the first women in your life You know that you like love and care for and stuff and so when you bring a new person into your life a new You know a girlfriend and stuff Obviously you want your mom and your sister to like them But I don't think that necessarily has to be the end all be all they're looking out for your best interests But they're not seeing like I guess the like the actual relationship They're seeing it from the outside So you have to be the best judge of that relationship I will say too just to play devil's advocate that it is true that love does like make you blind and people in your life Who really know you can sometimes see things that you can't That's true. So I yeah, I go both ways with that. I agree with what you said But also there are there are instances where people see things that you don't Yeah, so just kind of like listen listen to what they're saying And then from there it becomes on you to make that decision. Okay red flag doesn't put the effort in getting to know your family Yeah, we don't like that. That's a red flag especially if you're very family oriented and your family live in the area or something and there's like an easy opportunity for you to get to know them, you know If that's a big part of your life and you know, this new person's gonna start to become a bigger part of your life They should you know, it's always great for like that to work together. They should want to know. Yeah, okay This one says red flag when she says she's independent I love I mean your perspective that looks like I have like no perspective on this I don't know what I would I don't know I don't know what I'd say you start So I would say I am I am a very independent woman So there's I'm not gonna I don't want to say that I'm a red flag because I don't believe that that's true I think in certain situations and sometimes like people who Like women who have been hurt in the past will use that and be like I'm an independent woman. I don't need you And then that comes across I wouldn't say it's a red flag. It just it almost is like a little like a defense mechanism Yeah, almost. Um, I think honestly Dating independent woman is probably the way to go because you don't want someone who again like I said before Who's gonna need you you're gonna want you want someone who wants you? So I think someone who's independent and even an independent man is the same thing Like I think that that's someone who is their own person who can survive on their own That's a good thing and then you bring two independent people together And then you build a life from there I think for maybe the for devil's advocate reasons if it's the kind of thing where maybe they're like not treating you Correctfully because of it if they're going a little too far with it maybe and saying like oh, you know I'm not putting a label on this. I'm independent. You're just kind of like with me It could definitely anyone claiming that they're so independent that they're like an island And don't need other people that could definitely be a red flag. There's a couple of green flags They text or call when they're thinking about you through the day and when they text you that they want to see you Small but underrated. Yes, we love that. That's great. I love that Everybody wants to be loved or everybody wants to be wanted and stuff. So you know, it's great to hear that. Yeah Okay, red flag following so many girls slash bikini models on instagram or liking their pictures Yeah It's a red flag It sounds like a pretty obvious one that I don't see why men don't understand that No, it's still it is a thing that happens often Yeah That it's just it's not It's not healthy. It's not healthy. It's just training yourself to to Be open to looking at people who aren't your partner. Yes And then you start to you're even if you tell yourself Even if you tell yourself that you're not going to you're going to start comparing your partner to those girls And they're not going to be the same because those girls on instagram don't actually look like that I could make a whole video. Yeah, this is why you should I I question I question why one social media doesn't I'm gonna give you a book. Oh god Okay, here's a good one red flag that I totally agree with when they drive off before you get into your house I agree. Yeah red flag You got to see the door open and like closed behind that stuff Yeah, also, here's the other thing if you have the kind of house where you can pull up right front Then I think you should walk them up to the door. Okay. Yeah Okay, red flag gets upset when you want to go out with your girlfriends Big red flag Yeah, that shows like miss not that was word mistrust Yeah, that's a big red flag. Yeah And I think then if you're the woman and you're you want to go out with your girlfriends But now you start to feel uncomfortable even Telling your partner that you want to do that because you think that they might get mad or that they might get anxious Or uncomfortable or whatever Um, then you're changing, you know a good relationship with your girlfriends For maybe a not-so-great relationship green flag when he accepts your kids even though they are not his That's definitely green flag that shows serious maturity And actual seriousness in you that they respect you and it goes vice versa. Honestly for both of those. Yeah Green flag is they watch asmr Is that really in there? Yes it is in there and I would add green flag Subscribe to saw this Big green flag Green flag if they hit the light button Big green flag if you like this video Okay, yeah red flag when she expects you to buy her a $1,500 person the third date. Yeah, that's run. Uh, yeah There are women out there that their boyfriends pay for them to get their nails done And like I I'm not gonna say anything bad about it. I respect it, but I could never imagine Asking my boyfriend to pay for me to get my nails done. I just It's just not me. I don't know. Yeah, like I work for my money. You know what I mean? I don't know Yeah, he wants to treat you like sure, you know, that's a very nice thing. I wouldn't say no But to ask for it. I can't even imagine. Yeah, okay This one kind of ties in what we said before red flag seeing their name under every girl's instagram photo For sure Yeah, kind of goes back into that like you got to step away from some of those relationships When you're in another relationship just because you're in a relationship does not mean that you lose your ability to be like Hey, that's an attractive person But what you do with those thoughts? Because you could see a picture and be like, oh, they look really good in that picture. You don't gotta like it Nobody's putting a gun to your hand being like I need to double tap this picture So that they and everybody else knows that I find them attractive But also maybe maybe It depends on the type of photo. It shouldn't be like checking so much What they're doing. Well, you could just see it. Yeah, I guess you're right If you're like going to look for it, you're probably setting yourself up for some hurt Yes, but if you just like see it and then also it to me, it depends on the picture If it's like a half naked bikini picture, that's different than like them posting a picture with their like mom You know, like it's different red flag when they want you to go to their house on a first date Yeah, I don't like I don't like that Big red flag It just I mean it depends on why y'all are there, right? If you're there With like the intention of like this could be like a relationship. That's like that's one thing and if you're There with the mentality of you know, this is just like a fun one night thing That that's that's also on you and that's fine but you gotta be on the same page about it and It's just if it's a first date and you're like, let's go back to my place. It just it shows Where your intentions are and it would make me a little wary for sure. Weary wary Weary. Yeah, you make me a little weary. I think it's wary. I think it's wary. I think it's wary Weary is like you're tired. Oh Beware be wary. Okay. Red flag them talking down on things you're passionate about Yeah Yeah, that is mean I want to be supportive of of your partner and I think a green flag like I'll make my own green flag here off of this Green flag to me is like being very open-minded And if it's something that you don't understand a some are for example It's a perfect example Right is someone who like doesn't know what it is and upon first glance you might be like what the heck is this But instead of being like that's weird. I want nothing to do with that like google it like inform yourself Educate yourself about things like that Rather than just being so like closed-minded. I like this one Red flag uses the B slur to describe women. Oh, yeah Definitely dignify that with a response. No. Oh, here's one a red flag is This is worded a little weird. So I'm gonna try to like translate it a red flag is So when his closest friends are like not nice, they're like f-boys like Those are his closest friends So not necessarily saying that the person you're dating is like that but his friends are Yeah, that's that's a red flag. I think so too I don't know if that's like again like a showstopper because I mean You're your own person still and like if you the two of you get along great like That's nice. I mean that's more important. But yeah, like the people he chooses to surround himself with then I feel like that's kind of uh You know because what what sort of situations are they might they lead him into? Um, all right, let me see like a pick a couple. We'll just do like rapid fire. Yeah, red red or green Love bombing. What is that? I I skipped that one because I didn't know what it was. Love bombing is Very early on in a relationship like you've had one day and you're like, I love you I'm so excited to see you like you're like you're everything to me. Oh, yeah, that's a red flag Yeah, it sounds like Yeah, something a red flag emotional intelligence We love that A lot of it is based on that a lot of the ones we've been talking about Yes, oh wait, you skipped the one on the love languages Oh, it was like brief Okay, it just said when you're love green flag when your love languages match Yeah, I like I don't know if it's a hot take but like I feel like I have a little bit of every love language I think I did it was quality time and physical touch for my top two and they were like pretty almost even Yeah, those are my two but I don't know. I think they're all Kind of important. Yeah, but Yeah, those those are my top two when he has two phones Yeah, that's just weird. Why would I really get the only thing I can think of is a work phone That's the only thing I could think of is not a work phone. Then yeah, what's going on? Then you should yeah That's weird when the x is still some somehow in the picture When their x is still in the picture, I feel like that depends on the context because yeah I mean if like they have kids with somebody else like It's kind of like a red flag if they're not in the other person's life because you have to co-parent and stuff But I think if there are no kids involved. Yes I think um, I don't understand me personally how people could still be like best friends with their x's I just don't get it. Um, and I don't think I can personally date someone who was still super close with his x and like Saw her all the time and like I just I was just throwing this in there. Um, yeah, like what about if they were still in communication with Like the friends or family of the x. That's very hard There's like no right or wrong answer. It's just you have to communicate with each other and figure it out I feel like it's very contextual very personal on on you Like how you feel about it and then you have to kind of gauge with the relationships like Yeah, yeah, and also is it weirdly is it an uncomfortable? like inappropriate relationships still or is it just like You know, I don't know what we did in high school 15 years ago. I mean how we're just like Still close or something. No, I don't think so I like my high school ex I'm friendly with him But I would never like hang out with him or text him or like be friendly in that maybe you like dated someone in high school Just because and then you broke up and then like 15 years later. They're just still part of your high school crew or something I don't know. You know, I think that there's I'm just coming up with different shots Explanations on how because it's the if the relationship Becomes weird. That's what makes it weird. So yeah, I think it also depends on how the split went Yeah, yeah, you know, was it amicable? Was it nasty? You know Getting along with your friends. That's a green flag. Yeah Yeah, there was one about that red flag. I'm not wanting to hang out with your friends Yeah, yeah, it's like Um, I don't think you have to like hang out maybe on like the second or third day But like, you know at some point at some point. Yeah, you and you want, you know, you should want to like have all those people like When he tries to I'm saying he because that's what it's written, but this could be he she whatever Yeah, um, when he doesn't try to belittle your feelings or gaslight you Yeah Yeah, that's that's a soft explanatory belittle you. Yeah, I'll tell you that your emotions aren't valid. Yeah, we don't we don't like that Um, can we take a step back and talk about what it even means for something to be a red flag? Is this like a red flag you run away or is this red flag? You should start assessing stuff Because I feel weird talking about some of this stuff and saying like red flag get out of there A lot of them. I feel like are assessing But there are a few that I probably I think belittling and gaslighting is one that kind of makes me very wary Very weary Yeah, yeah that I would say like you should Consider stepping away kind of doing yeah, I feel like you have more context than this Now because I've just been married or in a relationship for so long Yeah, that's this wild out there This is wild out there Um, all right, let's do one more. We'll end on this one when they're when they start to show jealousy right away And it says accusing you of flirting or maybe they're jealous of your ex and then it says it only gets worst trust is a must So I guess early on in the relationship showing jealousy. Yeah I mean, that's definitely a red flag Especially for someone who you just started dating so there shouldn't there shouldn't be reasons for you to feel Like jealousy yet and if there are then there it's either Past traumas of that person or the person they're dating is really sketchy. Yeah, exactly Yeah, it's a two-way street But I mean your first reaction shouldn't really be like jealousy if if they've given you no reason to not Trust them You should trust them and not be jealous of where they are who they're with what they're doing. Yeah, agreed I think we did pretty dang good. I think we did. Okay. I think this video is also really long It's probably very long. So if you made it to the end, you're you're a real one. We appreciate it But thank you guys for joining me. Yeah Sharing your perspectives again. Thanks for all with us very personal opinions. Yeah. Yeah You know a lot of this needs to get dug into a lot deeper. Yes Don't run away from someone just because of something trivial. Yeah And I'm sure that there are a lot of back stories of the people that wrote these I'm sure they could go and tell us our their stories. So Like Dom said in the beginning take everything with a grain of salt. This was just upon our first glance our opinions. So Um But go ahead and leave us your thoughts down below if you agree with us If you disagree with us on any of the points we talked about, uh, we'd love to read them Go ahead and turn that like button into a red flag Because it turns red when you oh wow Wow All right guys. Well, that's gonna be it for today's video. Thank you so much for watching again Thank you to my lovely friends for being here with us and if you want them to come back then just let them know in the comments We'll be back You guys want it Okay, we'll be back either way. All right. Thank you guys so much for watching and I'll see you next time. Bye