 So, let's say we are considering submission and we are talking, okay, how do I practically do that? That could be the question, especially in a scenario where in a situation where you sense that the husband is doing everything according to scripture, but from a practical standpoint in the sense, let's say if the husband needs to, maybe it's something to do with buying something, some decision, maybe you want to move to a certain other place, relocate to some other place, relocate, so you're considering all those things. Let's say in an example like that, and well, as a wife, you feel that, well, it's, no, certain things have been overlooked, okay, so certain things have been completely overlooked by the husband. So in that case also, you know, do I submit? So that's the thing, right? Do I just blindly submit? Well, the answer is no. Well, if you see that, okay, there are, because it involves, maybe it's a major decision, it involves the entire family, it could impact the entire family, you know, your kids, everything, you know, it could have a major impact. So, the thing is not to blindly submit, you know, though your heart, in your heart, yes, you would, you're saying, okay, I'm not against this, I'm not against God's design, I will yield it, I will submit, but the thing is this, to suggest, right, to bring in counsel, counsel, to bring in wise counsel, to bring in, in the form of suggestions, and say, okay, have you considered this, let's consider this, we're going to look at this, maybe genuinely the husband did not, you know, consider those options, right, maybe just looking at, okay, maybe we need to relocate to another city, we need to do this, maybe, but probably there were other things that he did not consider at all, right. So, in you bringing up, as a wife, in you bringing up, saying, okay, why don't we look at this, why don't we consider this, or why don't we get somebody's opinion, you're doing the right thing, so maybe the husband didn't consider, and yeah, so that would actually turn the whole situation around, the husband would be able to look at these things, look at these options, and really weigh them before making the decision, okay, but what if, you know, a husband has considered all that, and then also you still feel, you know, you're not able to put a finger on it, but you still feel that something is not right, then, you know, what do you do, right, do I fight, do I not give in, do I make things difficult for my husband, but the right thing to do would be to submit, would be to yield, because you've, you know, you've done everything, like you've brought in the wisdom, you've brought in the information, you've brought in the counsel that is required, and after all that is considered, and you know, sufficiently answered, sufficiently dealt with, you're still saying, okay, you still feel a little, you know, uneasy about it, well, the husband's being very confident and saying, okay, we need to do it, the thing is to yield the matter, right, to God, and say, okay, God, you know, we've done this, give us the oneness of heart, give us the oneness of mind, right, I don't know what it is that is causing this difference, you know, they, you're not able to see, you know, be one in this particular thing, and it's a big thing. So, God, you know, you give us the oneness of heart, whatever it is, you know, give us that one, and I'm yielding this, I'm deferring this, you know, decision, I'm saying that, well, let the husband lead, I'm yielding, but God, you give us that oneness, there's anything that needs to be changed, Lord, you, we've done all we can, but you, she show us, right, so that would be the right thing to do, rather than fight and create a scene, and, you know, and act, and temper tantrums, and, you know, and endless arguments, this would be a way to do it, right, so this would, how it would work in, in real life, maybe in a, in a difficult situation like this, right, okay, well, we also see that for the husband and the wife, you know, and there are, if, if we, if we look at ministry, and if we look at the calling, especially, you know, since all of us are being trained for, to serve the Lord, right, in one way or the other, so we look at Paul writing to Timothy, and we can look at those passages where he's laying down, okay, how should a man of God be, how should a woman of God be, okay, so, so he, he's, we can consider those passages as well, and well, we, this applies to us as believers also, okay, not just as people who are serving, but it would, you know, specifically applies to those people who are serving, maybe in some capacity, or in leadership, in church, or desiring a position of leadership in church, it would certainly apply to them, for them specifically, but also, as believers, you know, generally it would apply to us also, so it's good to consider those passages, you know, we're talking about 1 Timothy 3, and we're also looking at Titus chapter 1, so these are passages and Titus chapter 2, where Paul writes about, okay, this is how, if someone desires a position of a bishop or a spiritual overseer, you know, he desires a good work, it's a good work, and then he talks about what are those qualifications, right, and he says he must be without fault, he must have only one wife, he must be sober, self-controlled, orderly, be hospitable, able to teach, should not be someone given to alcohol, but must be, or he should not be a violent person, but be gentle, peaceful, not be a lover of money, lover of things, material things, you know, all those things, right, so these are some things for us to, maybe you're considering the role of the husband, these are some things to consider also, and if you see the same passage, it also talks about the wife, it also talks about, you know, the children, and so on, if you, for example, if you look at Titus chapter 2, right, it says, okay, instruct the older men to be sober, sensible, self-controlled, and instruct the older women to behave as women who should live a holy life, they should not be slanderers, nor given to wine, and so on, so we see that, you know, that's, we can take that, add that also as the role of the husband, the role of the wife, okay, so from these passages, you know, in the notes, there is a column, you can look at that, you can go through that, it talks about character, it talks about being self-controlled, being sober-minded, etc., right, so those are some things that we can look at, okay, we're going to look at, you know, in the role of the husband and the wife, the fact is that where we see words as expression of love, we also see physical intimacy, the way God created marriage, the way God created man and woman, you know, in the context of marriage, for them to enjoy physical intimacy, okay, well sex has, you know, the objective is, of course, procreation, but it's also something to be enjoyed, okay, so that's how God created it. Now, when we look at the world outside, it talks about sex being enjoyed, being indulged in, in any context, right, before marriage or extra marital, you know, partners, so there's no limits, there's no boundaries there, the way the world would look at it, right, but the way God designed it primarily, it's within the context of marriage, in the context of allowing accountable, responsible, faithful relationship with one another, okay, so that's how God created it, so in that context, it is meant to be enjoyed, okay, for example, if you look at 1 Corinthians 7, Paul writes, you know, about sexual intimacy, right, about marriage, and in the context of marriage, right, we should understand that always, so he, so this is what he says, let's look at that message, it's there in your notes, I'm just going to read from Mother New King James version and then read in the message version also, so he says, in 1 Corinthians 7 verse 1, concerning the things of which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman, nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband, let the husband render to his wife the affection to her and likewise also the wife to her husband, so you see in this role of husband and wife, he's talking particularly, when he says, you know, let the husband render the affection due to his wife, he's talking about physical intimacy, right, so the thing is that there's nothing, because some people have this understanding that sex is sin, even within the context of marriage, something dirty, something that is shameful, something that is not to be indulged in, okay, we don't see that in scripture, and that's not God's design as well, right, so, you know, you see the extremes, right, and one extreme is like, everything is okay, you know, that's the, that's a world, that's a very satanic view of, you know, of God's design for sex, it's a total distortion of God's design for physical intimacy, total distortion of it, but the other thing is also, you know, sadly, even among believers, even in the church, you know, it's like, it is something shameful, it's not to be, it's not there, and it's not something to be discussed, et cetera, so it's something that we see that totally unbiblically, okay, so in the context of marriage, God designed marriage to be enjoyed between the husband and the wife, okay, so to, so we see this passage, 1 Corinthians 7, now I'm just, I just want to read from the, from the notes, we have the message version there, so we see, okay, now getting down to the questions you asked, you're in your letter to me first, you know, so which means that people have actually, if you study, when you study 1 Corinthians, you'll see that people have asked Paul a series of, you know, questions about marriage, about food offered idols, about, you know, a lot of things that they were having struggles with, you know, as a church or challenged as a church, so Paul is actually answering, addressing all those things, so one of the things he addresses here is about physical intimacy, about sex, okay, so he's saying that it is a good thing to have sexual, is it a good thing to have sexual relationship, you know, that's what you ask, because if you look at the Corinthian church, the society outside, it was a very permissive, promiscuous society, right, they had the temple, temple Aphrodite and, you know, all that kind of worship was happening, they were temple prostitutes and so on, so it was a very confusing, you know, message about sex, so now people have become believers, they've come to the church and, hey, what is the right thing, okay, the word, outside there is this whole thing of, you know, very promiscuity, promiscuity, you know, that's the thing, that's the thing that we've actually learned about sex, because that's what we've seen in the world and now we've come to, we've come to saving knowledge of Christ, we've come to church, now that's the same understanding that we are carrying, so is it right, is it wrong, right, so Paul is addressing that, right, so he's saying certainly verse two, but only within a certain context, it's good for a man to have a wife and for a woman to have a husband, sex drives, sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder, the marriage bed must be a place of mutuality, the husband seeking to satisfy the wife and the wife seeking to satisfy her husband, marriage is not a place to stand up for your rights, marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out, abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it and if it's for the purpose of prayer and fasting and only for such times, then come back together again, Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it and then he says, I'm not, you know, you understand commanding these periods of abstinence, only providing my best counsel if you should choose them, so you see that it's very liberating actually, it's not confining, very liberating and the Lord is saying, okay within the context, the Lord's desire and will and plan is that within the context of the way he designed sex within the context of marriage, okay, so that understanding, the husband should have that understanding the wife should have or the husband to be should have, the wife to be should have, so if there is any, you know, anything that is you know, any understanding that we have, if you've been trained by the world, you know, to think about sex in this manner, we should drop it and get trained by scripture, get renewed, renew our understanding by the understanding or by the design that is in scripture, the truth that is in scripture, okay, so then one more thing is, you know, while we consider these roles, all these things come up, no challenges, okay, the woman needs to be like the problems 31 wife, you know, the wife needs to be then, you know, so many, so many times the, excuse me, there are messages, you know, preached and and the wife to be, you know, usually, you know, it's preached in the weddings, it's preached in engagements, problems 31, you know, everybody reads that and it's preached from that, this is how she must be and well, we don't know what really what's going on in the, you know, in the girl's mind, you know, wow, that's such a tall order, so many things to do, so many things to consider. If you look at it, you know, it's, it's, it has both sides to it, okay, one, it's a, it's a picture of a very healthy marriage, a very healthy family, okay, it's a picture of that and in, in that environment, in that setting, well, this is how the woman or the wife, this is how she's thriving, right, she is energetic, purposeful, and well, she's a visionary, all that, she's very industrious, we see all that happening there, but we also see the support, the appreciation that comes from the family, so many times, you know, we miss out on that, okay, why should be like this, why should be like this, you need to do this, but you see the husband role in that, you see the children's role in that, family's role in that, which means that, you know, as parents, how we relate to one another is, you know, for example, if, of course, we look at it in parenting, for example, if we see the, the father or the husband is going to be constantly being rude to his wife and putting her down, and saying that you don't know this, you don't know anything, so you just keep quiet, then that was the attitude the children will also carry, right, while the children might pity or take the, you know, cause of supporting and taking sides, all that might happen, but also when it comes to certain things, you know, they will put down and say, okay, you don't know anything, well, that'll be the attitude that they will carry also, but here we see something else, the children have a healthy attitude, a healthy relationship with the mother, right, okay, so let's just go through that, okay, this is a good news version, right, Proverbs 31, was telling how hard it is to find a capable wife, she's far more, she's worth far more than jewels, her husband puts his confidence in her, he will never be poor, as long as she lives, she makes him good and she doesn't good and never hum, she keeps herself busy making wool and elinth cloth, she brings home food from out of the way places as merchant ships do, she gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and to tell her servant what women want to do, she looks at land and buys it and with money she has earned, she plans a vineyard, she's a hard worker, strong in industries, she knows the value of everything she makes and works late into the night, she spins her own thread and weaves her own cloth and she's generous to the poor and needy, she doesn't worry when it snows because the family has warm clothing, she makes bedspreads and wears clothes of fine purple in and wow, right, and her husband is well known, one of the leading citizens, she makes clothes and belts and sells them to merchants, she's strong and respected and not afraid of the future, she speaks with a gentle wisdom, she's always busy and looks after her family's needs, her children show their appreciation and her husband praises her, he says many women are good wives but you are the best of them all, charm is deceptive and beauty disappearing but a woman who honors the Lord should be praised, give her credit for all that she does, she deserves the respect of everyone, okay so when we read through, yes it is a, it is a, it is kind, it seems kind of you know it's amazing, it's an overwhelming list, there's a lot of things that the Proibs 31, wife or the Proibs 31 woman does but you also see you know in there, this is what the husband says, you know husband does, it says her husband right at the beginning you know her husband puts his confidence in her and he will never be poor, okay we see that verse 11, he puts his confidence in her which means he trusts her and he honors her and he says okay I'm confident about you know who you are and what you do, husband puts you know so which means that that confidence you know this whole act of nourishing and cherishing is in place right and he is, he puts the confidence, he's empowered the wife to release her to be all that she is, that she needs to be and we also see something else there, her children show their appreciation, okay now the children need to be taught, you know like we read that passage today you know Deuteronomy 6 now, children learn when we, when we diligently teach them but children also learn, pick up based on you know how things are in the home right, they don't have to be taught but they just pick it up, hey this is how somebody's behaving, well if somebody loses their temper they shout and so if I, you know if I need, if I want, if I want things to be done then I will also, I also need to shout, if I am angry you know somebody's throwing stuff so I can also do that, if I am angry let me also throw some stuff and make some noise and children learn right, so here the children have learned to show appreciation whether by teaching, saying that way you need to appreciate, you know we're eating something have you thanked, have you thanked your mother, have you thanked you know whoever has prepared the food, you know it could be someone helping in the house, you know but have you thanked, have you said thank you, well you like it, okay why don't you tell them right, so the children learn to show appreciation, so it says here that her children show their appreciation and her husband praises her, wow so that's also the other side, has the husband praised, you know so it's not a one time thing, it's a, it's a culture in the home, it's something of a value in the home and it's a normal thing in the home where one observes, one appreciates and expresses that appreciation as a praise, as a compliment, right and it says husband praises her which means that husband is saying wow you're looking good today, you know this suits you and what you prepared for the guests, brilliant, wonderful, husband is praising, complimenting and the children are learning that and the children are appreciating and husband is telling the children you know why don't you tell mom that you know she did this, so why don't you just tell her, so you know he's also complimenting, he's you know when compared to the other women, he's complimenting, so we see that one of the important things that we need to learn is that you know as husbands we need to learn that okay if I want my wife to be the problem 31 wife then I need to be the problem 31, husband as well, right it goes both ways, right it's not a one-sided thing, okay so this you know we see that it's very very liberating the roles and you know to understand the roles and expectations and responsibilities of the husband and the wife is a very foundational thing for one's marriage, it's a very fundamental thing and it's very important for one's marriage right needs to be prepared so this will actually create so much goodwill and it'll really create so much harmony in the house and this is God's design, you see this is God's design this is how he is, he wants the home to be okay now I'm just looking at this application section if you want to go there and this when it comes to communication when it comes to you know appreciating when it comes to honoring you know we saw that okay the husband needs to love husband needs to communicate share and show that the wife also you know needs to love the husband we respect the husband appreciate honor etc so now what would really help is to understand what is the language that my wife understands what is the language that my husband understands okay so we're not talking about language like English or French or Spanish whatever but really we could be speaking the same language we could be communicating the same language but not being understood okay why is that because the as human beings you know we respond in different ways or we show appreciation appreciation in different ways or we receive appreciation in different ways right for someone mere words right when you say it words they feel love they feel appreciated for someone else it is an act of service in the sense okay I you know why don't you sit down let me just serve you some food and that for that person is you know they feel appreciated they feel loved for someone it's it's just physical touch you know it's when when I'm saying physical touch you know it's just putting an arm around or just holding the hand of the person or being physical proximity with that person they feel loved they feel appreciated for someone else it's gifts it need not be something fancy something expensive but something small it means that oh this person thought of me right my husband thought of me my wife thought of me and got this for me or made this for me and I feel appreciated and loved okay for someone else it could be just quality time spending time with another saying okay let's just you know we don't have to do anything we don't have to go on a major vacation but just spending time with one another you know the person feels loved so the thing is you know we see that Dr Gary Chapman he's written a book on five love languages maybe you you some of you might have already left a little bit and maybe you have an understanding of it so just to reiterate that you know this is how people could express love you know these are five there could be more and it could be in shades of you know it could be a mix of this right so these are normally people express love and also receive love okay and most most often the way they express love is also the way they receive it okay so so you find out that okay in what way now with you know when it comes to we need to know the wife and know the husband this is something for us to learn and know okay um okay this is how this person responds and or this is how the person expresses love so so they just imagine like if I don't have an understanding of it okay so so many times the husband will say you know I just you know so many times you know I have I have I have you know expressed my affection my love but my wife just not understand at all and my wife does not reciprocate out and the wife might have the same complaint saying okay my husband does not love me okay and so many times I have said you know I have taken the initiative to say that or express and demonstrate my love for him he does not and a and a classic case could be well let's say for example the husband for the husband it is act of service okay so which means that um if for the husband a cup of coffee is made in the morning he feels loved okay he feels appreciated whereas for the wife she feels appreciated if the husband communicates if the husband says it saying oh you are this you are that and I was in her maybe his husband rides a you know a small note and sticks it you know in the bathroom mirror and then she goes inside and she's surprised oh wow my husband loves me so let's say if this is their love language but they don't have an understanding of it so the wife feels that you know I'm saying so many times I love him you know I'm putting all these notes in his bag and the same but you know in his wallet I'm surprised him with these I tell him with my words and yet he's saying that he doesn't feel love but the fact is this the husband feels love when there is a you know act of service you know you do something for him or you serve you know food or you bring him a cup of coffee and and that's it you don't have to put 100 notes he just feels love and for the wife you know he's he's been he's been you know doing this he's been maybe you know act of service he's been folding all the clothes and putting it away getting her clothes ironed and putting it away doing the dishes and you know and these feels like doesn't she know that I love her it's because that I love her that I'm doing all this but she does not right so there's there seems to be a major miscommunication but once they understand that this is how the husband communicates his love for him it is this and the husband learns oh I say okay then this is how she feels loved you know when I say it in words okay I'm not good at saying it in words I'm good at just doing this stuff you know I bring this I keep the house clean maybe I clean up this stuff I fix things you know I fix the tap I fix the you know and I'm showing her that I love her maybe I need to put things into words it's it's gonna be tough for me I'm not good at words but I'm gonna learn I want to do it so when the husband does that or when the wife says okay maybe I should just do this oh these are simple things I can do it so when when both learn each other's language of love and express you know affection love appreciation in these ways then the marriage you know thrives flourishes then you understand that wow this is my wife truly loves me however husband says you know the wife says the husband truly loves me because he's doing this right so this is the thing it has a you know in the notes after this application section you know it has a very reflective thing so it's in a combination as well so you know combination of one or more love languages it's good to go through just to open up our understanding oh these are ways by which the husband could feel loved or the wife would my wife would feel loved my husband would feel loved and and the best thing is to you know both you know we do the marriage preparation course we normally you know there's an exercise that we do for the husband to be and the wife to be right so that they can actually sit and write and then they can it's it's it's an eye opener right for both of them wow this is it I never thought about this but then this is how you feel love wonderful right so so all this you can just go through that any questions any questions here anything that you might want to share no questions okay so how many of you have actually you know you can just put your hands up how many of you have actually you know you know about this love languages um you've read the book or you've heard it somewhere okay hey John Paul yes he did the marriage course okay Zalit Ali and Eater okay okay so for some of us it's a new thing right so it's good if we get a understanding of it not just an understanding of it but also in preparation if you're single and you're preparing um to to say okay this is something that I can actually uh so now that I know it why don't I you know express demonstrate love in this way for those of us who are married you know maybe we need to find out okay what is it at my spouse you know how does he or she um receive love and express love and uh and then do that right okay fine so we'll we'll move on to um to the next chapter which is attitude temperament and behavior we'll just you know we'll go through it a little bit and then and then we'll probably continue on the next class right so it's about attitudes about temperament and behavior right so yeah so can I just say one just small center sure sure go ahead please there's also an online test to find out which language belong to us okay okay it's also you have the link for that yeah you can put it on the on the sing the class work not the class work sorry you could put in the stream itself and that's the helpful yeah you could put it on the stream okay okay great right oh for us yeah so maybe yeah that's a good important point right so for us to know ourselves maybe we don't know um yeah so that that would be helpful um thanks thanks john okay so so you see that uh you know as important as languages to communicate to one another uh you know this this is really uh this is a big thing okay one is understanding the role and the second one of course knowing uh how to communicate in that role and uh so that the person feels appreciated uh honor etc no we're talking about all this uh but how do I actually do it it's when we understand um how the person you know your spouse responds um and how the person understands the expression of love right okay so um so we're looking at chapter five and we're seeing that you know as one of the things that we we see is that a marriage is it's a journey right it's a lifelong journey okay which means it's a it's a fairly long time right uh and what we see and uh you know in movies or uh it's uh it's a very short span and which it's try to compress and you know um and it's it's just one part of the picture it's not the whole um reality is something else and you know it's something totally totally different and it requires a whole lot of us you know putting it to action uh changing our minds sacrifice a lot of things uh you know shifts in our attitude everything so um so that's important to consider so so we're going to look at this chapter which talks about you know our my attitude okay even before I expect the attitude from my spouse what should he or she how should he or she be you know you talk about ideas what what is the right attitude um you know what is the right temperament and can I make changes to it right can I make adjustments to it right um in in different things right so we might we might actually do certain things or we might do the right things okay for example I might say okay am I not taking care of the needs right am I not fulfilling my responsibility am I not uh you know uh doing what is expected okay now this is what scripture says I'm doing it um um but to see that oh to consider what is my attitude when I'm actually doing this carrying this out okay so which means when I how do I think how do I perceive how do I communicate right it's very very important okay so uh what is my attitude what is my uh my what is temperamentally how how am I you know in in this relationship how am I doing these things because you know I could have great abilities I could have great competencies intellectually academically but the fact is that if my attitude if my temperament is not right uh it will show forth in the behavior and even though I might be doing you know uh all those things you know what is required but my attitude actually denies it right the my temperament denies it and uh it actually colors my behavior okay so that's the thing we need to understand okay so let's say we have a different attitude if I I mean when I'm saying I colors the behavior I'm talking about attitude being negative right so if we um you know so we when we consider marriage we have the husband we have the wife and you know two people with very different temperaments right very very different maybe attitudes even and our behavior and everything is different so so the thing is that it it brings a lot of challenges it also you know makes life enjoyable because it's interesting the person is so different but it also brings um challenges to the relationship right so we need to understand that okay what are the um you know what are the two things two main things one is you know personally okay now the way I think where I perceive things the way I act the way I communicate okay unless this is healthy um it is not going to contribute to the marriage it's not going to help the marriage so it needs to be healthy first of all okay secondly you know that um I need to understand my spouse which means I need to understand you know what my wife what my house how my spouse thinks perceives acts communicates in different situations so that I understand her correctly so which means it you know I what I perceive what I think and what what she perceives or he perceives things acts communicates right um if I understand that then it helps us in our interpersonal relationship okay so if our attitude is healthy and positive then it would be it will cause the relationship to thrive flourish if it's negative with negative emotions um then it is not really going to help it is going to it is going to be detrimental okay so I need to have this I need to address this um well this may not have come into focus right and as a believer yes definitely you know God is teaching us we are being yielded to the Holy Spirit and and we don't live in isolation right we live with as a body of Christ so we are there are certain things which which which have been tempered by the Holy Spirit there are certain things that have been seasoned by the Holy Spirit and then we've undergone change um so um we've gone we're undergone change right but maybe you know we did not there were certain things that we are carrying and uh it is not really a Christ-like attitude right it's not really a Christ-like temperament so well that is going to be detrimental to them to the marriage maybe we need to understand that okay so how can I have a Christ-like attitude um first of all you know we uh first of all to understand that we must thrive or we must pursue Christ-likeness in our personal lives right we must pursue as individuals we must must pursue Christ-likeness that's a given now it's it seems like a repetition but it's really foundational okay let's look at uh Ephesians 4 and okay Ephesians 4 verse 13 okay it talks about the five fold and why the five fold is there in the in the body verse 12 talks about for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry for the edifying of the body of Christ till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God to a perfect man to a to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ so we see that it's it's a normal thing to to pursue this or to come to this right and it is something that God has Christ is placed in the body the five fold ministry and uh for the equipping as we live a the normal Christian life or pursuing Christ or being a disciple of Christ now this is something that is expected right this is something which means this is something that we can pursue wholeheartedly what is that like to be equipped for the work of ministry right which causes the edifying of the body of Christ still to come to the unity of the faith and to come to the knowledge and and the knowledge of the Son of God to a perfect man or a mature person right and to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ so how would Christ be right what is Christ like to come to that stature so in in our walk in our attitude in how we you know we we know that this you know when it comes to ministry when it comes to you know our personal lives and so on you know maybe maybe we have a certain understanding of that but then we need to know that okay in marriage in you know maybe as a parent this applies as well okay so this applies so we call to have the same mind of Christ when it comes to this right Philippians 2 talks about that right don't do anything from selfish ambition or from a desire to be boastful to be boast or I'm sorry desire to boast but to be humble towards one another considering others better than yourselves now many times we apply this in with everyone else every other you know believer you know maybe if you're in ministry with every other church member but when it comes to the home you know to consider each other better than themselves not to consider the other better than oneself and not to have a selfish ambition not to you know to boast and and to put oneself above you know to be prideful and not to humble oneself you know in the home is it a reality right so that's that's that's a difficult thing right because because in the home what happens is in the home setting right we we let down you know we could have put on an act outside or we could we could have put on a mask outside but in the home all defences are down and we're not putting on something for others we are being ourselves so when it comes to being ourselves this is what Christ desires this is what God desires that we be Christ like not just outside when people can maybe say some things people can you know maybe you know where we are careful about our image but within the four walls of the home where we need to be Christ like very important right so so the thing is this when we consider our attitudes when we consider okay am I being Christ like think about the home think about the place where you don't have to put on an act right where you don't have to like put on a mask or where you don't have where you don't have to constantly think am I saying the right thing am I doing the right thing in the home with your spouse with your children right how are you are you being Christ like now that's a very important because if we are in the home if you are being Christ like then it'll be you know it'll just flow out when we go out and we do it whether people are watching or not watching you know we will be but then in the home when you know our friends are not watching when our boss is not watching when our pastor is not watching you know we we let loose right we cut loose we actually put on display our worst self rather than being Christ like okay so that is something very very important okay so we'll continue this in our you know next class but just think about this right okay so we'll stop here and we'll take a break and come back for the next class thank you