 Good morning PHP people. One thing I love about PHP events is the fact that you always can take anything that starts with a P at a pH in front of it and then just roll with it. You guys are all cool with that, right? So a little bit about me. I work at a company called devrelate.io. These are all my wonderful clients. If you have questions about what we do, we're devrelations as a service, community relations as a service, so it's really a lot of fun. If you have questions about any of my clients, feel free to ask me afterwards. Right now I'm here on behalf of crate.io, which are the people behind CrateDB, which is think of it like NoSQL meets Docker distributed database in the cloud. It's it's pretty cool and I'd be happy to answer questions about that after the talk, but that's not what I'm here to talk about. Let's talk about my favorite subject, which is me. So I'm a developer evangelist, technical advocate, community engineer, whatever title you want to put on there. I'm lucky enough I get to travel around the world and talk to awesome people like you pretty much all the time, 12 months a year. It's absolutely amazing. But beyond that, I'm a hockey coach. I play in a band. I've been playing drum since I was six years old and I have kids. I'm a dad, which is wonderful. Occasionally, which is really once I let my kids keynote large scale programming events. That's my daughter when she was 11, keynoting RubyConf. She was the keynote and also the guy who created Ruby was the keynote. So it was a pretty big deal. I've never keynoted RubyConf on my own. I had to use her as an in-road. So use your kids. That's what they're there for. I also run an organization called Prompt. How many of you have heard of Prompt before? How many of you have heard of Ed Finckler before? Yeah. So Ed was one of the major players when we started Prompt a few years ago. Prompt is all about mental health and tech. It's kind of a big deal, but we kind of don't talk about it a lot. So the goal of Prompt is to get people to talk about mental health. Start a conversation about mental health. If you run a meet-up and I know from Jenny's talk yesterday that some of you do, or you're just part of a meet-up and you want to contribute to it, like Jenny suggested you do, feel free to get in touch and we will help you get someone who is willing to talk about mental health specifically as it affects people in tech from their own perspective. We're happy to send speakers all over the world to give these talks. So what is this talk actually about? If you saw the title, you may have some misconceptions, but that's actually what the talk is about, so that's good. In programming languages, in different communities, we have different perceptions, especially when we're inside of them. We all think our own community is the best, right? Not everybody outside of your community thinks that because they think their community is the best. That's one of the problems we have. There's also certain things that different parts of the tech community, the non-programmers, if you will, when they look in at us, what they think about us. And then there's also the ideas that differ between open source and the enterprise. And we're going to talk a little bit about that as well. What this isn't about, if you saw the title, is actual urban legend. So if you thought this was going to be about cryptozoology or chupacabras or what have you, I really apologize. That's not what it's we're going to talk about. But let's start at the beginning. Let's start with PHP. First of all, really shocking that it's not pronounced FIP. I think that would be a more appropriate name for the language. PHP has been around for years, right? It's been around so long that most people, when I go to conferences, and I've given this talk at other conferences and meetups, and I say, how many people have programmed in PHP? I'm not going to ask that of this room. I think that's a silly question in here. But it doesn't really matter. Wherever I go and I ask this question, I say, who's programmed in PHP or currently programmed in PHP? Most hands go up. With the exception of maybe some younger folks who have gone to boot camp and it's their first event. But for the most part, everybody's programmed in PHP. So kind of a big deal. Yet, one of the first myths that I found out about when I was working on this talk was that apparently some people think PHP is dead. Quick caveat. I could easily have named this talk, everything is dead and why do we even bother? Because you're going to see this dead concept come up quite a bit. Every programming language at one time or another has been called dead. But we're starting with PHP. As some of you may know, PHP is kind of a big deal. It's used by large scale companies. And I believe statistically, the most recent statistic is that 68% of web applications use PHP. And when I first heard this, I think I was told it was like 72%. By a friend of mine, you might know, you might know Davey Shafik. He helped me write this talk. And we were talking about it. And I was like, that's amazing. So I started to look into it. And there's reasons why. First of all, a lot of servers use PHP because they're expecting to have to serve it. So that counts towards the grand total. Obviously, there's bigger applications like Facebook uses PHP. Twitter has PHP built in. Lots of lots of big things. But also there's the fact that other languages actually borrow from PHP. In Ruby, which is a language that I've mostly been programming in the past few years, Ruby actually has PHP modules built in. Just in case you're transferring information from PHP to Ruby, it already has built in language tools so that you can convert these things. So if PHP is dead, why are all these other languages, other places borrowing from PHP, making sure PHP is compatible, so that it's useful? Obviously, it's not really that big of a death if everyone's still using it. So micro services. Some folks think that PHP, because it's so often used in large scale monolithic applications, that microservice are complete impossibility. Apparently, a lot of people believe that everything is kept in one giant PHP file. This was kind of true once upon a time. I remember when I was at a place, this is a while ago, we were using like PHP 3, maybe 4 had just come out. And the entire thing was 130,000 lines of code. Yeah, that was not, that was uncomfortable laughter. Someone just gave uncomfortable laughter because no one should ever build anything like that ever. It was converted from 150,000 lines of Visual Fox Pro. Any visual Fox Pro developers in the house? I'm sorry. I feel you. I feel your pain. So yeah, making it, going from Visual Fox Pro to PHP was like a major jump. But still, the idea is that this is completely untrue. Like no one should build that way. If you build something that monolithic, 130,000 lines of code in one file, you're doing something wrong to begin with. And to be completely honest with the advent of frameworks, it's just about every language that uses the web has these days. Microservices are easy. You can easily break things down into smaller bits and make them work together. That's the whole point of containerization and everything that we're looking at. Serverless and all the new advance. PHP can take advantage of that just like any other language. So I think this is an old perception. It's starting to go away, but I think people still have this idea that PHP is old and beat. People say that because PHP is an interpreted language, it's slow. It doesn't have a compiler. So it must be slow. This is something that actually came up with Ruby that I was surprised to find kind of the two things together. Like, oh, it's not compiled and therefore it's a slow language. This is another older misconception, which I find interesting. You know, it's kind of odd. Just simply because there's no compiler, a lot of older programmers, and I'm older, but not that kind of older, believe that it's impossible to gain speed when you have to actually do things like write tests and run them against it before you deploy your code. So in this case, they're not talking about speed of execution because PHP is pretty fast. I mean, it's not C, but it's pretty fast. A few things are C, just pretty much C actually. It's the idea that it takes you longer to develop because it's not compiled. You can't find your problems as quickly because it's not compiled. I think this is a familiarity issue. I think the more familiar you are with any language, the easier it is regardless of whether it's compiled or not. I don't think that anyone who is doing something like Go when it first came out was like, man, I'm brilliant. I'm writing modules in like 15 seconds because it's compiled. Now, I'm so much better at what I'm doing because compiled is better than not compiled. Ridiculous, complete and utter misconception. Security. Now, this is an interesting one. I put it here not because of PHP. I put it here because this is the beginning of the talk. And I think this is a very important point to make. I could have put this on any of the languages, any of the tools, any of the things that I'm going to talk about because security is an issue with everything. PHP is no exception. When you put applications up on the web, there's a security issue because you've already made it public. No matter what, it's already a security issue. If you do not design your application with security in mind from the start, it's just like writing tests. If you don't do it from the start, you're already behind the eight ball. You've already made a mistake. That's not exclusive to PHP. That's exclusive to application development. Anything that will ever go out in the world is inherently insecure. You can only make it as secure as you're willing to make it, but you have to be willing to make it secure, so that's up to you. So let's talk about one thing that isn't really a myth. PHP has a stuffy problem. Some of you laughed and some of you didn't. When I was originally, when I originally wrote this talk, the idea was that PHP was for business applications. It was stuffy. You know, it's for people in suits. It's for people in cubicles. You know, web applications that aren't fun. Obviously, that's not true. I already mentioned Facebook and some other things that use PHP that obviously have nothing to do with business, although Facebook is kind of getting more businessy by the day, just slightly disconcerting. But the real stuffy problem in PHP, and this is no myth, is that you people really go for these stuffed animals. I don't get it. I've never gotten. I mentioned my friend Davey earlier who would literally call me and be like you're not going to believe this. I went to True North PHP and grumpy made this woolly mammoth stuffy and I bought it for $150. And I'm like, what? But in all honesty, I do kind of like it. I won't buy stuffed animals. We have like a rule in my house. My daughter got kind of crazy with stuffed animals when she was younger, so we are not allowed to buy stuffed animals ever. But I like the fact that this is something that unifies this community. It's something that brings people together. There's a collection and a lot of these goes towards good causes. PHP women. At one point in time, there was a prompt elephant for mental health and tech. And it's just great to see that these perpetuate the community. They continue things because without people participating, without fun stuff like stuffies, your community dies. So let's talk about the arch enemy of PHP, which is of course Ruby, right? How many people have programmed in Ruby before tried it out, done anything? You don't have to be embarrassed. It's okay. We're all friends here. I programmed in Ruby for a while. Ruby, I hate to say this at this conference, it's my favorite language. I really, really like it. Just because it's a lot of fun to code in and you can make a ton of absolutely useless crap with it. Which is true. When I first started in Ruby, which was about 10 or 12 years ago, it was the belief of a lot of people that that's all you could do with it. Ruby is useless. Hipsters use that. And believe me, I'm so old. I'm not a hipster. I literally was there before it was cool. But that was the attitude. Unfortunately it hasn't changed much. And the reason for this attitude is because of Rails. How many people have looked at Rails? Yeah. Why do people think Rails is hipster? There's two main reasons. Anyone want to take a guess? One of them is just three initials. Two of those initials are repeated. So there's this dude. His name is David Heinemeyer Hansen. And on a personal level, David is a very nice guy. He loves open source. He loved open source so much and Ruby so much that he said I'm going to build a framework. I want to make web applications with Ruby because that's how much I love this. At the time, 15 years ago, there was no way to do that. Ruby was just this language is kind of hanging out there. You can make little desktop modules, little scripts, things like that. But you couldn't put it on the web. David made that possible. David is a really smart guy. David got on Twitter and made a handle called DHH. That's his initials. David decided that he has opinions. And his opinions count for the community. So for a long time, anything that David said, everybody like, well that's the way Rails developers are. Rails developers totally, totally agree with everything he says. And I can tell you, from the standpoint of someone who has been a Rails developer, Ruby developer for years, we do not all agree with DHH. When he said coffee script, many people were like, ugh, no. When he said action cable, does anyone know what action cable does? I've been programming in Rails for 12 years. I don't know what action cable does. As far as I know, it's useless. People said, ugh, David. David has moved on a little bit. He's still kind of like that benevolent dictator for life. He's kind of like Rails' Rasmus. But at the same time, like instead he races cars and fixes his hair. I don't know what he does. And spouts bullshit on Twitter all the time. But he gave us Rails. So we have to be somewhat grateful. The other reason why there's all these myths about Rails being for hipsters and that it's not useful is that Rails has a lot of auto-magical features. I hate that word. Rails' whole tagline was get there, get 90% of the way done in 10% of the time. Which technically can be true depending on how thorough and robust your application is. So the key thing to remember though is while Ruby and Rails are similar and they have the same community, Ruby is not Rails. I continue to build applications this day. Very rarely do I feel the need to do Rails. There are many other frameworks out there. Things have come up. There's no need to deal with this opinionated, clunky, monolithic thing anymore. It's pointless. Yet people still have this procession. Someone let this sink in for a second. This is an exclusive to Ruby. This is often a thought about open source. So this is taken by from a blog post about software enterprise software development not being dead. The idea that only hipsters were doing open source and the really important people were doing enterprise software. We're going to come back to that in a little bit. But I think it's interesting that the whole idea here, and this is from a few years ago, the whole idea here is that Ruby developers all wear Ruby gear all the time. They wear hats, they have beards, and they make crappy applications. I have made crappy applications. I do have a beard and I wear a hat. However, I'm not representative of all of the Ruby community. I'm just one person. Nonetheless, when I saw this, it blew me away. I was like, do people really still think like this? And then I saw this. The only thing worse than running Ruby in prod is relying on a hobbyist, a hobbyist, who's running Ruby in prod. I saw this and I flipped and this is from a friend of mine. It wasn't to me. I just saw it randomly. Their name will be redacted. I was shocked though. I was like this, because I had to remove the name of stuff, this was November of 2017. So this is still the attitude. We're 15 years into Rails and 25 years almost into Ruby. This is still the attitude that Ruby is for hobbyists. So the shock is worn off a bit. However, I always have a response for when people say Ruby is for hipsters, Ruby is garbage, what's the point of Ruby? And that's the fact that a lot of people happen to be using it. A lot of these people use every day. I have teenage kids. I actually do use Urban Dictionary every day. I don't understand what they're saying sometimes. It's kind of important. But I mean, Netflix runs on Rails. How many people use Zendesk? Not many. Maybe you might be, you might not even know, your company probably has it's skin so it just looks like a ticketing system. Zendesk runs on Rails. Hulu runs on Rails. Prompt runs on Jekyll which is another framework for Ruby. All of these companies, GitHub is still a Rails application at its heart. There's a lot of other things going on, but it's still there. So obviously, Ruby is not just for hipsters, it's not just for useless South of Market coffee apps for San Francisco people. So let's dispel that myth. Let's talk about Java. Java is totally dead, right? Nobody uses Java. But yet, yet, it's one of the biggest powers in application development still to this date. I worked at IBM for a while. IBM, just about everything they write, everything they write is at its heart Java. We talked about microservices earlier, so it's easy to plug things into other things now and have applications that are written in seven different languages. However, IBM still loves Java. Java is amazing. Like to do your expenses at IBM, they built their own Java applet to communicate with people. They built their own Java applet. Java is super powerful. And for people who think that Java is dead, I'll have to say is how often do you see this coffee mug on your screen that you need to update this? It's like at least once a week. Sometimes it's a lie, by the way. I keep an eye on that. Apparently I was reading in the news there's been a lot of phishing expeditions about Java recently and you'll get a thing that says update Java and Flash and it's actually complete BS. So obviously Java's not dead. So let's talk about another language. Let's talk about Python. I'm going to go through these a little more quickly because I think they're a little less relatable. How many people have programmed Python before? SciPy, MathPy. Python's pretty awesome. Python was originally developed as an academic language. It was for theoretical language development. The idea behind Python initially was actually to develop other languages that could do things that weren't academic. So some people still have this perspective that Python is just it's strictly for the theorists. It's for the people they're doing hardcore, you know, proof of concept papers at large-scale universities, computer science programs, which is cool, I guess, but it doesn't really work that way. At a previous job at a company called Engineyard that some of you may have heard of, I worked on the community team, which was a great great team. One of the things that we did was an application called Thank You. The idea behind Thank You was there's so many people that do open source. There used to be this thing called Get Tip. I know it changed its name and eventually went away. But the idea was if someone signed up to Get Tip, you could send them like, you know, a couple dollars a week and that would help perpetuate their open source, you know, work. It's just a little way to say thank you. Here's a tip, thank you. So we developed a Python application that's strictly built out of love, no academics here at all, that anyone at Engineyard could say, hey, I know this person, I know Dave Stokes, and Dave Stokes does a lot of awesome open source work. I'm going to give him a Get Tip and put him on the list, a dollar a week. Cool, and we had this budget and it would take from the budget and put it in Get Tip for these people, and it was awesome. So that's not really academic, but that's a personal example. Let me give you another big example. RailsConf a couple years ago, they brought this gentleman from Spotify. I'm sure we've all heard of Spotify. I don't need to show hands on that. Spotify is a pretty awesome program, mostly written in Python, with a lot, a lot, a lot of JavaScript. He talked about how they started, like the original idea behind Spotify was similar to Pandora. They wanted to analyze music and see how it went. They started getting into Python and started realizing there were a lot of fun things you can do. And one of the things that he talked about at RailsConf, which was amazing, because similar to talking about Ruby and Python and Java at this conference, he was talking about Python at RailsConf, which was just, you know, blown away. He made an application, his team made an application called Jump the Frog. Jump the Frog, you give it two pieces of music, and it will draw a line between those two pieces of music. So everyone knows who Katy Perry is, right? No one raised their hand. You know who Katy Perry is. Don't lie to me. I know it's early people, but come on. So you know who Katy Perry is. I would imagine less people know who, and I'll use just because we had this conversation earlier, fewer people probably know who Mastodon is. Who knows who Mastodon is? Yeah. So Mastodon is, you know, they're a metal band if you really want to get literal, they are a sludge metal band from Atlanta. You wouldn't think there's a whole lot of commonality between Katy Perry and Mastodon. You don't see a lot of parody between, you know, a song about being a paper bag and baby or a firework and a song about the curl of the burl, which is about how you shave wood, which is bizarre. But anyway, the point being, within ten songs, he could find anything. That's where the application worked, and that's love. You don't build an application like that and not see how people have a passion for something. So the idea that it's just academic, just useless, just not really for anything, should be thrown out in the garbage. That's a myth. Linux, not a programming language. I know I'm standing on the red hat stage. I know that we all love open source. 2018 is not the year of the Linux desktop. Oh, that was harsh. Wow. No, really, until someone like my grandma can use it, it's not the year of the Linux desktop. But still, there are people out there, we'll call them champions of the Mac or perhaps heroes of the Windows world, who believe that Linux is dead, it's gone. No one uses Linux anymore. That's preposterous. I mean, especially if you're a Mac user, because it's basically the same thing, just prettier on the outside. And even, I mean, even Windows is big into Linux now. When I was at IBM, where they literally make IBM laptops that are built to run Windows, I think something like 90% of the Lenovo IBM ThinkPad users were running Linux and not Windows. So if an organization that has 600,000 employees is doing that, kind of a big deal, not going away. Another great example that I like to use is, so I travel a lot, I fly. How many people fly internationally, you know, periodically? Enough so that they give you a movie. And you've ever been on the plane and the movie system goes down because one person on the screen isn't working on a flight of 300 people. And so we all have to suffer. I was in the middle of Justice League, which is a terrible movie. And yet now I have to suffer because, you know, the person in 302 couldn't, you know, see the latest movie with some person who was featured in the television show Friends. Whatever. Doesn't matter. As soon as they reboot that system, you see tucks. If large scale airlines are using this for their entertainment, again, obviously Linux is not so dead. Is Pearl dead? Hmm. Does someone say yes? Have you not been listening to me? Come on. Focus. Pearl looked dead for a long time though, didn't it? They had this issue. I believe it was Pearl 5. Came out 2001, 2002, maybe 2003 at the latest. And it updated with some patches here and there, but there was no, like, new full version history. And a while back I wrote this article called Is Ruby Dead for Engine Yard. And the immediate reaction of the Pearl community was, of course, is Pearl dead or just deader than Ruby? That's not even like really an article. I really upgraded this by calling it an article. These are the two sentences in that entire article. I was happy because that means someone noticed my blog post. But yeah, it was interesting for a long time. Yeah, Pearl did look dead. But a couple years ago, Pearl 6 came out. You guys know what a 6 is, right? I know this is PHP and you guys skipped over that whole 6 thing. Sorry, I couldn't resist. Pearl 6 came out. How many people have looked at the latest version of Pearl? It's actually kind of awesome. And the key thing about Pearl is a lot of us, even before PHP, got into development because Pearl was open source and it was strong and it was stable and it was amazing. Those earlier versions of Pearl, that's how I started programming when I decided to move away from like, you know, visual basic and visual fox pro and all those other like Microsoft languages that you're taught at school. I thought Pearl was a gift. I thought it was amazing and to be honest, Pearl 6 is really powerful and really, really cool. And I highly recommend if you haven't looked at it, you should check it out. Wow, I'm talking a lot. So let's move a little faster. Swift. Swift is the ultimate thing in the end of the internet. Thank you. Good night. So when I first started doing this talk, someone actually posted that objective C developers are now obsolete. Please treat them with respect. This was posted by Swift devs like the actual and this is a long this is a while ago. This is a long time this tweet came out and I was like, Oh my God, look at this. Look at this picture. This is the part that defended me the most. So the elderly are obsolete. Okay, that's horrible. There's a lot that we can learn from older generations. So let's not say that the elderly are obsolete. Pregnant women full disclosure. I am not a professional biologist. However, I am relatively sure that at this point in our scientific lives without pregnant women, this species will end. I'm going to say that's not obsolete. Also objective C developers are kind of important. So Swift, it's not always about the new hotness. Luckily, when they came out with 2.0, they actually made it open source and realized their mistakes. And they they've moved on from there. So that's that's a positive thing. Their community is moving along. It's getting better. Anything with a JS in it? If you were developer a few years ago, you may remember the point in time where absolutely anything any word in the English or any other language, someone would append a JS to it, we'd have a new framework, a new thing. If you could tell me what most of these things do, I'd be surprised. I did the research for this talk, and I still don't know what half these things do. Take anybody want to take a Kraken JS. Anybody guess? It doesn't summon the Kraken. Kraken JS is a payment platform to specifically developed by PayPal to process cryptocurrency payments, which is obvious from the name, right? And I don't mean to I don't need to poop all over JavaScript. JavaScript is ubiquitous. We need JavaScript. There is no web application or mobile application out there today that isn't using JavaScript in some way, shape or form. You know, React is awesome. Ember is awesome. Angular is available. JavaScript is an amazing, amazing tool. And there's lots of amazing tools. That's my point. There's so many different languages, so many things that you can learn from that are different from your perspective and you should take a look. And I think when we look at our own languages and we kind of, you know, poop all over everything else that's going on, we forget about that. We forget about the beauty of open source and how many cool things are out there to try to learn from. And a lot of times it's because something new has come along. How many people left the PHP community because Ruby came along? How many people left the Ruby community because Go came along? How many people left Go because JavaScript was the new hotness? Like it's a perpetual thing. And we can't just do that. It's about evolution. It's about things changing at a rate that's understandable and getting better. So I want to talk a little bit. We understand this from the language perspective. I think we've got that now. So let's talk a little bit about communities. I love this picture because in many ways it describes the tech community to a T. Let's say these red folks are Ruby folks and the blue folks, they can be PHP and the green folks, JavaScript, sure, why not. Orange, they can be just Java. Yellow is .NET developers. You see what I'm saying. So they're all in the same place. They're all connected by these lines. They're connected because they're the tech community. They're all developers. Cool. But they're all in their own little circles and they're not communicating to each other. Why can't we do that? Why is that a problem? And I'll tell you why because people have these weird perspectives. People say ridiculous things. These are all things I've literally had people say to me that I've either worked with or had a meet-up or a conference. I think it's weird. Designers aren't developers. I've been developing for years. I would not be able to match my clothes if I was not married. And if you want to see pictures of before I was married, you can see how true this is. I used to wear black shirts all the time because you can't screw that up. But, you know, I can't design a web application that looks good. I can design a web application that functions. I can design a web application that works and it's got a white background with black text and it's in Times New Roman because that's the default. And that's how it goes. Then I get somebody who comes along and makes it pretty and looks good so that people might actually want to use it. This other one, sysadmins can live without developers. This was said to me by someone who was obviously a sysadmin at a cloud company. And it took me back a second and I said, all right, let's just say for example there's no developers. What do we need sysadmins for? What the hell are you serving? That's like saying the restaurant industry is great if we just get rid of all these people who are eating. Makes no sense. Business folks just don't understand developers. This one, small caveat. It is difficult. There's a cultural difference between the two groups. I personally, I don't care about making money. I don't think it's a big deal. I'm not going to go on an anti-capitalism rant. That's not what I'm here for. It's also not my politics. Don't really care. But this came along when someone who was running a business who was looking for developers came to a meet-up that I was running. And someone was like, I can't believe this guy. He walked in and he's wearing a suit. A suit? Are you kidding me? It's like so your issue isn't so much with the fact that he's business-y and not a developer. Your issue is with his fashion. It's not true. The guy is actually really smart. He had been a developer. He moved into business because he started his own startup. And when you start your own startup, you kind of have to do the business end too, as I've learned recently. And that might not be great. You might be super technical, but you just happened to also like three-piece suits. That's cool too. Whatever. Don't shun people out. Don't shut people out. Tech people are socially inept. All of them. This is my favorite. Someone said this to me after I gave a talk in a room, like this one, maybe a little bit bigger. It was like 2,000 people. And I was like, these people are all talking to each other after I talked up on stage. Where's the social ineptitude? I just laughed it off. Moved along. The idea is we need to share ideas. We can't just say, oh, you're a PHP developer. I'm a Ruby developer. We should never identify ourselves that way. I'm PJ. You're in certain name here. And you learn. The more you cross-pollinate, the more you look at the different ways people do things, the more you learn, the better you can make the language that you focus on, the better you can make the community you focus on, and the better you make it, the cooler it can be. We can be giant, super awesome robot guy of the tech community or lady. I don't know the gender of this robot. I should not have assumed. This robot is awesome. We can be awesome. That's what we need to focus on. But we have to get rid of the biases. And what's one of the biggest biases we have? Throw all the languages out. Throw everything out. One of the biggest biases we have, the comparison of open source to enterprise. Because enterprise is, of course, the most horrible thing in the world. And open sources for hippies. Remember? Hipsters. We make stupid apps. People that live in basements with neckbeards, even the ladies with neckbeards, trying to put together enough Linux packages so that we can maybe get enough food to feed our 250 cats that are living in our mom's house where we live in the basement of because that's what open source developers like. And then, of course, there's the enterprise developer. Business. Working in a small grade cubicle to build software for other people who work in other small grade cubicles. Just eking out of life so they can make enough money to retire comfortably to the suburbs. That's bullshit. That's total bullshit. I have a good friend. A guy named Chad Fowler. A really good guy. A really good guy. Met him in the Ruby community. He went to work for a place called Wunderlist. Wunderlist is an awesome way to keep track of things if you're like me and you forget things like you have a great thought and then it's gone. He was a Ruby developer when he started there. Then he realized that Microsoft was on the table. They were going to buy this company. So he started looking at VBE.net and C-Sharp and F-Sharp and a bunch of other technologies. And now he's like a full on polyglot who understands the value of doing all this thing and he is technically on paper an enterprise developer. Never seen him wear a tie and I don't know how much money he makes and he doesn't seem to care either. He still has a big bushy beard. Still loves open source. He's an enterprise developer. There's a lot of things that we can learn from the enterprise development community. Organization. Deadlines. The importance of making things as available as general as we possibly can for everyone. Following guidelines like accessibility. There's a lot of things that enterprise can learn from us like creativity. The idea of code is craft. The idea of making something with passion not just because it has to be made. So if we get along things will get better. Do it for the children. So what else? We need to dispel a few myths in general. There's no such thing as a rock star, wizard, ninja developer. We've all seen it on LinkedIn. We've all gotten the recruiter emails and it's complete and utter crap. If you were a rock star you'd be up on a stage much bigger than you'd be sleeping. You'd be sleeping it's the middle of the day. But later tonight you'd be on a stage much bigger than this doing a lot louder things. If you were a ninja okay maybe that's possible because you can't see ninjas. There could be some in this room right now. And as far as I know regardless of the fact that I spent a lot of time at platform nine and three quarters last night don't judge me. There's no such thing as wizards in real life. We have to be cooler with each other. We have to stop thinking that we're the best of the best. We have to stop thinking that what we code is all about our identity. There's so much more to people. But the whole point of that intro slide I'm a dad. I'm a drummer. I also happen to code. Thank you very much.