 When you're done, this is what the narcissist thinks of you. When you've had enough, when all is said and done. This is how the narcissist really feels about you. Narcissists think that once you've been with them, there is nothing after them. You can't just move on without them. They think that you will never replace them. You will never find someone who can do what they did for you. You will never find someone who will be able to create the same kind of memories that you had with them. Because when they first meet someone, they're willing to do things that most people won't do. They will go above and beyond. They will exceed what is typically desired or expected. They won't hold back because they believe that first impressions are very important. So once they've imprinted this vision of themselves into your mind, they expect you to return to them if you ever decide to leave them. They expect you to not be able to move on. They expect you to be lonely. They expect you to question if you're making the right decision. They expect you to miss them and most victims do return. On average, a victim returns to the narcissist seven times before it's finally over. Which is what they expect to happen. They expect you to return again and again. They're very arrogant. They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance. They think there's no one else like them. They think they're better than everyone else. So they assume that your only option is to return to them. You may be thinking that you can move on and find someone better. But the narcissist just sees it as a joke. They don't take it seriously because in their minds everyone and everything is beneath them. They see it like you're stepping out of a Ferrari. To look for something in a used car dealership. They don't think there's any possible way for you to find something better or greater. They see you as a fool. They see it as though you're making a very unwise decision. You're lacking good sense and judgment. But whether you return to them or not, they still see you as a fool. They see you as a fool for returning to them. If you return to them, they feel like you deserve to be mistreated. Because if you really believed that you deserved anything better, you wouldn't remain around them. They believe that you deserve to be abused. They think you're perfect when they first meet you. But when you remain around them, they soon see you as not being worth anything. Because they know that they're not to be valued. They know that they're not deserving of the treatment that you're giving to them. So all they can do is throw it back in your face. All they can do is reject everything you're doing for them in a way that seems ungrateful or rude. Because they know they're not deserving of it. They know they're not deserving of your presence. So they have to try to reduce your worth and importance. So that they can feel more comfortable around you. They cannot give you the compliments and praise that you deserve. Because then that reflects badly on them. It makes them look at themselves. And then they have to feel like you are better than them. And then you would wonder what you're even doing around them. Because they're not bringing anything to the table. But any time you do anything for them, they mock you. They act like they want something else. They act like it's not good enough. They always have to reduce the value and importance of what you're doing. Because of how it makes them feel about themselves. Because they know that what you're doing is greater than what they deserve. They know that you shouldn't even want them around you. If you leave the narcissist and you go no contact, it really bruises their ego. They see it as an insult. They see it as an act of disrespect. It makes them very angry. It causes a narcissistic injury. Because it bruises their ego. It makes them feel unimportant. It makes them feel like they're not worth anything. When you leave the narcissist, it's like you're putting a mirror in front of them. You're putting an end to the illusion of how they want people to see them. Because you see them for what they really are. You realise that they're not worth your time. When you can see the narcissist for what they really are, you wouldn't want anything to do with them. Which is what they're forced to accept when you decide to leave. And they may try to get you to return. But it's not because they love you or care about you. It's not because they miss you. It's just to relieve the pain and discomfort which is a result of their bruised ego. It has nothing to do with you. It's just to regulate their sense of self-worth and self-importance. They're just trying to keep the illusion going. They're not putting in all of this work to get you back because they want you. It's still all about them. Everything they do is about them. They know that they're lying to you. They know that they're manipulating and deceiving you. It's all a game. And it's only when you leave and go into contact that they then realise that you're not stupid. They realise that you've finally figured it out. You see them for what they really are. But despite all of the things they do to you, many of you stay loyal and committed to the narcissist. You want to show them just how devoted you are to them. Because you think that earns you some punch with them. You think that will result in them viewing you favourably and giving you praise and approval that you deserve. But they're actually just laughing at you behind your back. Because they know that they've tricked you into remaining loyal to them. They know that they've tricked you into giving them something they don't even deserve. They're just playing a game. It's a puzzle. And it's designed to confuse you. It's designed to be difficult for you to understand and explain. And they look at it like, if you can't figure it out, then you deserve to be mistreated. You deserve it because you're stupid. If you deserved anything better, you wouldn't be around them. You wouldn't be taking everything that they're saying and doing to you. You would have left them a long time ago. The narcissist gives you a puzzle. They give you something that you have to solve. Well, they're sitting back having a great time. They're eating your food. They're using your electricity. Well, you're trying to figure out this puzzle. And it's a big puzzle. So it's going to take you a long time to solve it. It's going to take you a while to figure things out. You're trying to put the puzzle together. You're trying to visualise it in your head of what it's supposed to look like. You're trying to see the bigger picture of what this puzzle is supposed to be. But after a while, you give up because you notice that some of the pieces are missing. It's very confusing. It doesn't make any sense. So you go to the narcissist and you tell them that you can't complete the puzzle. You tell them that some of the pieces are missing. And during this time, while you've been putting all of the pieces together, they've been sitting back having a good time, freely indulging in their appetite and desires. And then they tell you that they didn't give you all of the pieces. They say that you didn't ask them if all of the pieces were there when they gave you the puzzle to you. So because you didn't ask them, it's your fault. And at this point, they can either give you the rest of the pieces or you can say that you're done. But when you've invested so much of your time and energy into solving the puzzle, you might just decide to take the rest of the pieces. So you take the pieces, you go back to trying to solve the puzzle until you realise that they gave you the wrong pieces. Those pieces are from a different puzzle and then they tell you that they don't have the missing pieces for that puzzle. This is just how they play the game. There are no missing pieces to the puzzle and they were never there. So your only option in this situation is to stop trying to put the pieces together because this is a puzzle that cannot be solved. This is a game that you cannot win because they created this game. They make up their own rules and they can change the rules whenever they feel like it. So there was nothing you could have done to create a different outcome or result because from the very beginning the pieces were not there. And they knew that. They knew that they had set you up to fail from the get-go so the game was rigged from the start. You may have started off trying to play according to the rules. You may have acted in a fair and honest way but they had influenced the environment in a way where they could get the result that they want so that they could have an unfair advantage over you which means that you had lost before it even begun. Because the rules were created to benefit them yet they see you as being stupid and naive for not figuring this out in the beginning when you were not equipped with the knowledge and experience to understand any of this yet they expected you to figure it out before you pin all of the work before you invested so much of your time into remaining loyal and committed to the narcissist and if you do manage to do that then they believe that you're intelligent. You didn't fall for it so they look for someone else who will be more susceptible to it because they know they're going to find someone who will get caught up in their preordained arrangements and they see it as though if you don't understand it then you deserve everything you're getting from them because you should have been smart enough to figure this out from the beginning so when you do finally figure it out and you move on from them they may not like it but they see it as though you should have figured it out a long time ago but now they lose out on all of the conveniences you brought to them they lose all of the opportunities and advantages they got without doing anything to deserve it by creating the illusion portraying themselves as the victim while you're busy trying to put all of the pieces together trying to make things right when the game was already rigged right from the start thank you for watching i hope this video resonated with you please like comment share and subscribe if you would like to donate my paypal link it's in the video description coaching queries you can email me at coachingandartsurvivor.co.uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon