 وأقول في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزال وأقول قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي ولا أتأوله الحمد لله رب العالمين وصلاة والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام وعليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته كما always we begin with the praise of Allah and by asking Allah to exalt the mention and grant peace to our messenger محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم to his family and his companions we now up to the stage in this course on the Muslim family where we are going to start talking about the rights of our children and we had established already when we spoke about the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife is from the hadith that is mentioned regarding سلمان الفارسي رضي الله عنه and the advice that he gave to Abu Darda when he said صدخة سلمان indeed your Lord has a right over you and you yourself your body has a right over you yourself has a right over you and your family have rights over you so give everyone who has a right over you their right and so it's no surprise to learn that our children have many rights over us so I'm going to start by asking you a question where do you think the rights of the children start chronologically so what is the first right of our children try and think maybe around the time the child is born just before that what is the very first right that our children have over us in terms of in terms of order so Insha'Allah you had some time to think about that it's very interesting that many of the scholars of Islam they mentioned that the first right of the child is to choose a righteous spouse so the first right of the child actually is before the child is born in fact is before the child is even conceived the first right of the child is to choose a righteous spouse and this is indicated by the حديث in بخالية مسلم from the حديث of أبي هوريرا we've heard the حديث before عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال تنكح المرأة ولي أربعة لما لها ولي حسبها ولي جمالها ولي دينها فضفر بذات الدين تريبة يتاك the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said a woman is married for one of four things for her wealth for her reputation or her family reputation for her beauty and for her religion فضفر بذات الدين so the one who wants to be successful and the one who wants to get the blessing and the barakah and the success that is the person who should choose that a Dean should choose the one who is married for the sake of her religion and this tells us that if we look at the right of children to begin with our children's rights start with choosing the right spouse and if we choose the right spouse that's the best start that we can give our children by the permission of Allah so that's where the rights of the children begin and this is also indicated by another حديث that we've heard the حديث of معقل صار and the حديث of Anas Mimalik in different wordings but we'll just mention one of them تزو جل ودود الولوت فإني مكاثر بكم marry the woman who is loving and will bear you many children for indeed I will boast of you I of you of my umma of the numbers of my umma now here this actually this حديث has a strong evidence in it for the point that we raised and the strong evidence is in the حديث where it says فإني مكاثر بكم I'm going to boast of your numbers I'm going to boast of your numbers some of the narrations mentioned in the مكاثر بكم والنبياء that I will boast of your numbers to the prophets some of them mentioned I will boast of your numbers in front of the other nations the prophets will only take pride in that which is good in the sight of Allah so it's not the pure number that matters to the prophets for him to be pleased and for him to speak of the huge numbers of this umma in terms of or in front of the other nations or in front of the prophets يوم القيامة it's the righteousness of them and the correctness of them that's what matters to the prophets صلى الله عليه وسلم so it's not the pure numbers that matter but rather it's the numbers of righteous and upright people and that is a strong evidence as it relates to the prophets like I'm saying تزوج الولوت marry the woman who is loving and will bear you many children and that shows you that the rights of the children or the righteousness of the children starts by choosing the right spouse and so here hopefully you can see the connection between those two things between the statement تزوج الولوت choosing the right wife the one who is loving the one who will bear you many children and then the fact that the prophets will take pride in the numbers the huge numbers of this umma يوم القيامة and that will only happen when they are righteous so righteous offspring start by choosing the right spouse the next right that our children have over us is for us to make دعاء to الله even before we have children for Allah to give us righteous offspring دعاء is something easy it's not something difficult it's only a few words and it doesn't require any hardship it doesn't require any difficulty and yet how many of us neglect to make دعاء for the righteousness of our children and yet this is something that was from the sunan of the أم بياء from the established sunan of the prophets عليه الصلاة والسلام الله عز وجل ساعد سورة علي عمران آيانا بثاتي ايت هنا لك دعاء زكريا ربه قال ربي هبلي ملدونك ذرية طيبة إنك سميع الدعاء هيا زكريا كولد upon his lord he said my lord give me from you ذرية طيبة good offspring offspring that are طيبين that are good people that are righteous people سبحان الله from here what we can see is we can see that the prophets عليه الصلاة والسلام they called upon Allah before even having children before even their children were conceived they called upon Allah عز وجل to give them righteous children and that is a small thing that we can do to benefit ourselves and to benefit our children and it doesn't require any difficulty or any hardship from us and this dua it should not it should not be only before we have children this dua should continue throughout the life of our children that we continue to make dua for them and we continue to ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to bless them and one of the beautiful examples of this is in Surah Ibrahim the example of Ibrahim وإذ قال إبراهيم رب جعل هذا البلد آمين وجنوبني وبانية أن نعبد الأصناب رب إنهنا أضللنا كثيرا من الناس فمن تبعني فإنه مني ومن أعصاني فإنك غافور رحيم الله عز وجل قلت about the dua of Ibrahim وإبراهيم said my lord make this city a place of safety and keep me and my children away from worshipping idols سبحانه وتعالى this dua of Ibrahim was made after he had اسمعيل because we are told in the next ayah ربنا إني أسكنت من ذرية بواد غير ذي زرعن عند بيتك المحرم ربنا ليقيم الصلاة فجعل أفئدة من الناس تهوي إليهم ورزقهم من الثمارات لعلهم يشكرون he said my lord I have left some of my offspring in a valley that has no vegetation near to your sacred house my lord so that they can perform the prayer so cause a group of people to come to them and provide them from the fruits so that they may be grateful سبحانه وتعالى look at how the concern that Ibrahim had for his family and the dua that he made for them so he made the dua for Allah to keep them away from a shirk from making partners with Allah and that's of course the most important thing and that's the greatest thing that a parent can ask Allah for their child for Allah to keep them away from making a partner with Allah to make them good Muslims people of tawheed people who worship Allah this is the most important thing that any parent can want for their child and it's way more important than their worldly life but Ibrahim didn't neglect to make dua even for their needs in the worldly life and Ibrahim سبحانه وتعالى he left his family in that place in Makkah for the sake of the salah and that shows you how important the prayer is in the religion of Islam and then he made dua and Allah caused a group of people to come to them and provide them from the fruits so that they may be grateful he even made dua for what was the for them the the things that they needed in their dunya but he linked it to the religion that O Allah give them these things so that they may be grateful towards you so it wasn't purely for the sake of the worldly life but give them these things that they need in this world so that they can worship you and that's how the dunya should be it should be a servant for you and your deen it should be something that helps you to progress and to get near to Allah and your religion so he made dua for them even in these needs that they had and then the ayat continue until we are told that Ibrahim said بجعلني مقيم الصلاة ومن ذرية ربنا وتقبل دعا ربنا فلي ولي واليدية ولي مؤمنين يوم يقوم الحساب my lord make me from those who establish the prayer and likewise my offspring and my lord accept my dua my lord forgive me and my parents and the muslims or the believers on the day when their accounting will be taken so this is from the most beautiful dua that a parent can make for their children the dua of Ibrahim بجنوبني وبني ونعبود الأصنام keep me and my children away from worshipping idols and the dua of Ibrahim رب جعلني مقيم الصلاة ومن ذرية ربنا وتقبل دعا ربنا وفلي ولي واليدية ولي المؤمنين يوم يقوم الحساب my lord make me from those who establish the prayer and from my offspring my lord accept the dua so to make the children from the people who establish the prayer they keep away from a shirk they establish the prayer and also Ibrahim made dua for them and what they needed in the worldly life and made dua for them to be from the people who are grateful to Allah سبحانه وتعالى so all of this is from the evidence of the sunnah of the prophets as it relates to making dua for their children both before they have children and all through their child's life making dua for them and asking Allah for them for most importantly their آخرة meaning their توحيد the worshipping of Allah alone and their performance of the prayer and so on and also for what they need in the dunya on the condition that that makes them from the people who are grateful we have another example also in the Quran we have many examples but another example we can highlight of the dua that a parent makes for the child or a dua that a parent makes in relation to their children is a statement of Allah عز وجل والصين الإنسان بواليده إحسانة حملته أمه كرحا ووضعته كرحا وحمله وفي صاله ثلاثون شهراء and we commanded man to have إحسان to be good to his parents or to have excellence towards his parents his mother carried him in hardship and give birth to him in hardship and the time that she carried him and the time that she weaned him is 30 months in length حتى إذا بلغ أشده وبلغ أربعين سنة until when this person reaches their age of maturity and they reach 40 years of age قال رب أوزعني أن أشكرا نعمتك التي أنعمت علي وعلى والدي وأن أعمل صالح أن ترضى وأصلح لي في ذرية إني توبة وإليك وإني من المسلمين when he reached the age of 40 years old and he called upon Allah my lord give me the ability to be grateful to you for the blessings that you have blessed me with and those which you bless my parents with سبحان الله look at the beautiful دعاءة to ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to make us grateful for the blessings of Allah and our children are blessing from Allah عز وجد make us grateful for the blessings that Allah has given us and سبحانه وتعالى this shows you that even though Allah is the one that gave you the gift without the help of Allah you can't even be grateful for the gifts that Allah has given you or Allah make me grateful for the blessings that you have given me and those that you give my parents and give me the ability to do righteous deeds that please you وأصلح لي في ذرية and make my children righteous or correct my children bring about righteousness in my children all of these can be taken from the word وأصلح لي في ذرية bring about righteousness for me through my children إني توبطو إليك وإني من المسلمين I have repented to you and indeed I am among the Muslims those who have submitted to you so this is another beautiful example of a دعاء that a parent can make for their child وأصلح لي في ذرية and that would apply whether that child even if that child is righteous or even if that child has gone astray or has gone away from what the parent would want this sentence وأصلح لي في ذرية it would apply to all of them bring about righteousness from my offspring وأصلح لي في ذرية إني توبطو إليك indeed I have repented to you وإني من المسلمين and I am one of the Muslims who have submitted to you in Islam so so far we have talked about two rights of the children the right of choosing a righteous spouse and the right of the child for the parent to make دعاء for them before they are conceived after they are conceived after they are born and all the way throughout their life from before they are even conceived all the way until the end of their life the parent continues to make دعاء for their child and that's from the most important reasons of success as a parent in terms of the way that you look after your child and the outcome that you get from that by the permission of Allah still talking about the rights of the children that come before birth from the rights of the children that come before birth are rights one particular right that relates to the etiquettes of intimacy عبد الله ابني عباس رضي الله عنهما narrated قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لو أن أحدهم إذا أراد أن يأتي أهله قال بسم الله اللهم جنب الشيطان وجنب الشيطان ما رزقتنا فإن إن يقدر بينهما ولد في ذلك لم يدره شيطان أبدا هذا الحديث بايل بخاري المسلم ابني عباس رضي الله عنهما رضي الله عنهما من the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إذا أحد إذا أراد إذا أراد يجري بالمشهور بسم الله أبدا و الله أمان رضي الله عنهما وجنب الشيطان ما رزقتنا و لكن رضي الله عنهما مقاول للمشاهد اذا ضرب الله فإذا أراد إذن عباس هذا الشيطان ستنضف بجانبهم أبدا أنه مباشرة بكبر أبدا وا in يأتي لك أن تذكره بالله في كل حال. هذا هو الموقع when in terms of intimacy you would think this is the last time that a person would remember Allah سبحانه وتعالى. And yet look at the rewards of remembering Allah عز وجل. That before the person engages in that they would say بسم الله in the name of Allah. Oh Allah keep the shaitan away from us and keep the shaitan away from what you provide for us اي the children that we that we might have from this or the child that we might have from this and if Allah عز وجل decrease them a child from that action of theirs then the child will never ever be hurt by the shaitan. So what I write it is over the child for just a few words that I write it is over the parent for the child that the parent just says those few words at that time. Perhaps Allah سبحانه وتعالى would keep the shaitan away from the child because of this action of the parents. And so truly the parents it's not right. It's not befitting for them to forget this and then to you know سبحان الله that they might have the consequences of that as it relates to the shaitan affecting affecting their child. Now what does it mean though for the shaitan to affect the child. What does that actually mean الامام النووي رحمه الله تعالى he narrates from القاضي عياض رحمه الله تعالى and he said ولم يحمله احد على العموم في جميع الطرري والوسوسة والإغواء. القاضي عياض he said No one from the scholars held this hadith to be completely general. Meaning the shaitan will never harm them in any way will never give them any وسوسة will never give them any cause of deviation or misguidance. None of them held this to be absolute in every way. Rather than the Prophet سبحانه وتعالى is talking about specific kinds of harm specific any specific things that that relates to that child but it's not complete. It doesn't mean the shaitan will never ever harm them in any way and will never ever whisper to them. They will never suffer وسوسة. They will never suffer harm. They will never suffer misguidance. Some of them said that it means that the shaitan will never possess the child. Some of them said that it means that the shaitan will not misguide the child completely away from the path of Allah. And other things but what's important we take from the statement of القاضي عياض رحمه الله تعالى is that this isn't something general. That it means that they will not be harmed by the shaitan ever in anything but it means يعني a particular kind of harm that will not happen but still even if it is a specific kind of harm that will not happen at the end of the day it is absolutely a small thing for a parent to do that can benefit their child in a huge way. From the rites that the child have over the parents is for the parents to do righteous deeds before they are born and after they are born and to keep away from the haram. And from the evidences for this is the ayah we mentioned in Surah Al-Tour والذين آمنوا واتبعتهم ذريةهم بإيمان الحقنا بهم ذريةهم وما ألتناهم من عملهم من شيء كل أمر بما كسبا رهين. Those who believe and their offspring follow them in iman. We will cause their offspring to reach them and to join together with them to be joined together with them in paradise. So ultimately the righteousness of the parents is something which can have a very positive effect upon the children. And that's what we understand from this ayah. It's one of the things we can take from this ayah in Surah Al-Tour. That the righteousness of the parents can have a big effect upon the children. And likewise in Surah Al-Kahf Allah عز وجل told us وكان أبوهما صالحة. Those two orphan boys who they had a treasure that was buried underneath that wall and Khidr and Musa they came and they repaired the wall. What did Allah عز وجل say for the reason that those children got that treasure? وكان أبوهما صالحة. The father was a righteous man. And likewise in Surah Ali Imran in ayah 34 where Allah عز وجل said ذرية تنبع دوها من بعض. و الله سميع عليم. Offspring some of them from others meaning that the righteousness of the offspring came from the righteousness of the parents. و الله سميع عليم. And Allah is all hearing and all knowing. So there is no doubt that the righteousness of a parent is something which can have a big positive effect upon their child. Now ultimately we need to understand something. We need to understand that Allah عز وجل said وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَتُونَ وِزْرَ أَخْرَى. Nobody will be made to bear the burden of another person. Nobody will be made to carry the burden of another person. We're not saying that the child will be punished because of their parents or their parents actions. But when the parent is righteous this gives a great deal of barakah to their parent and to their children. And the benefits of the righteousness of the parent can continue on to be blessings for the children by the permission of Allah عز وجل. So everyone will be threatened fairly and everyone will be given a fair chance by Allah سبحانه وتعالى. But there is no doubt when a parent does righteous deeds before the child is born, after the child is born, when the child is young, when the child is older. This is a reason for barakah to come to that child and a reason for that child to have ease and blessings. And there are so many ayat and ahadith which indicate this and we've mentioned some of them. For example the statement of Allah عز وجل ذرية تنبع ذوها من بعض. That when Allah عز وجل spoke about Ali Imran and he spoke about the wife of Imran and her oath that she made. And Allah عز وجل said ذرية تنبع ذوها من بعض. They are an offspring that some of them came from others. The righteousness of the parents led to the righteousness of the offspring. So give your child the best start. I mean give an example in the worldly life. If you were to save up some money for your child and put that money sort of in a trust to help your child. Does that mean your child will never be poor? Doesn't mean your child will never be poor. Doesn't mean that they will but it gives them the best possible start that you could give them in the worldly life. And you saved some money for them. You made a pot for them so that they could buy the things that they needed. So that they could manage maybe in the transition between their education and their job. And you had saved that money for them. It doesn't mean that you're going to protect them from poverty. But it does mean that you have done the best that you could do for them. And ultimately you can't say you've done the best for your children. Unless you are that righteous parent that sets that example for your children and tries to do good deeds and righteous deeds. That bring about good for your children and bring about good for your family and barakah for them. And likewise we can take a principle. And this principle you have to understand if you have to be precise in it. That the haram that a parent does can have an effect upon their child. Now again. How do we understand that in the context of the statement of Allah. No one will bear the burden of another person. So no one will bear the sin of another person. Nobody will carry the sin of another person. No child will carry the sin of their father. No child will be punished for the sins that their father or their mother did. But that doesn't mean that there won't be a consequence and an effect to the haram that is done. So let me give you an example again outside of the children and the parents just to kind of illustrate what I mean here. If you take the example of someone who is smoking. The person who is smoking the sin is their sin. And they smoke in front of someone else. And that person doesn't you know doesn't encourage that or doesn't do anything to facilitate that. Then the sin is the sin of the person who is smoking. Right. It's not the sin of the one who it's not their fault. It's nothing to do with them. But does that mean that that one who is there will not have consequences. Does that mean that they won't get sick. No. They could get sick from it. They could suffer from it. They could have a sickness or a problem happens to them because of it. Because ultimately there's a difference between carrying the sin of someone and suffering negative consequences. We all suffer negative consequences because of things that people do. For example in the حديث of one of the mothers of the believers when she said Will we be destroyed or messenger of Allah when there are righteous people among us. The Prophet SAW said Yes. If the corruption in society increases. This is another example of the fact that. A person can suffer consequences because of things that other people did. That doesn't mean that they will have the sin of it. That doesn't mean that they'll be trapped unfairly. They will have a chance to make it right. They will have a chance to turn to Allah سبحانه وتعالى. And they will not carry the sin of their parents. But that also doesn't mean that they won't suffer consequences. So ultimately your children can suffer consequences because of the haram that you do. And that could have an effect upon you, upon your family and upon your children. But they will never carry your sin. They will never carry the sin of what you do. But ultimately they can be affected by the consequences of the actions that you take. And hopefully that is clear in distinguishing between those two things. That's what Allah سبحانه وتعالى. It's easy for me to mention in this episode. And in the next episode we're going to continue with the rights of the children. We have many rights still to talk about. And until now we haven't even reached the topic of the rights that come after the child is born. That's coming up in the next episode. إن شاء الله وتعالى. And Allah عز وجل knows best. والصلاة والسلام على نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين. السلام عليكم. If you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running. Make sure you head over to amauathome.com.