 So this is the first in my series of Dr. Sadler's chalk-and-talk Where I'm going to answer some questions dealing with philosophy or the general politics or maybe even literature who knows what That are coming to me from the EU users or the users You only get two minutes to talk on VU. So I'm doing this in YouTube so I can do some of longer Answers to and more involved answers to these questions. So the question that I got to ask Which I've got on the chalk board is Do you believe in love at first sight and this is kind of an interesting one. There was also a follow-up question which was Doing in soulmates And then there was a follow-up question that to soul does that having a soulmate mean having a perfect marriage? All of those are things I'm going to follow up on in other videos. So Wow Think about what we can talk about this. Is it possible? Can you follow up with somebody at first sight? Yes, I think that in fact you can't we're to see Talk about it qualify that a little bit because can you fall in love with it and with somebody in All the ways we think about it But here's another question is it really desirable to fall in love with somebody at first sight is that Something that we should hold out as a norm and then we do hold it out Because we see that coming up in a lot of romantic films and a lot of stories and songs So, you know the question has to be is this really a good thing we do we want to have people falling in love at first sight if it Isn't impossible And I do think that it is possible Something that I would like to talk about Before we go into that We talk about love at first sight doesn't have to be psyched Be carried out through some other sort of medium think about the pervasive power Or a sense of smell or a gustatory senses Could those be a way of getting to know somebody so to speak and being attracted to them Immediately, I think yes as a matter of fact odors Smell sets are deeply associated with those things that Tie in as we're talking about about the kind of love that we're thinking about love at first sight desire traction Appreciation and openness to the other person a Infatuation that makes us want to be with them all the time Now it's kind of interesting. It doesn't have to be sight Couldn't be made in words thought Think of Cyrano and Berger Again, you know, is this anything scientific? Of course, we're using literature This is the way we do things in the humanities. We think about things through examples through Great pieces of art great pieces of literature pieces of philosophy great You know in the historical situation people think about Cyrano diversion What happens there Roxanne falls in love with somebody, but it's not the young man who's Mouthing Cyrano's words as it's Cyrano and she is falling in love with him despite his super long nose Through his words through his thought through the character. That's being conveyed through all the other things that come in And are conveyed through language Now something like that happened to me I'm going to tell you the story that very quickly move on to these other my fiancee my wife to me She and I knew each other from high school. We lost touch for a very long time There's a whole story there Suffice it to say we began writing to each other through electronic Progress as far as you're saying Google chat, so it was real time and fell in love with each other without the either one of the Other knowing or even I think fully suspecting that the other might be falling in love with them Through the words of the other person through what words can reveal Sometimes words can actually reveal more of you in the heart than any Appearance can in an appearances. Yes, they're often deceiving but actually, you know The eyes are the window to the soul and the face does reflect at least with people who aren't Conner's does reflect our feelings and our desires. We follow one with each other through words Was it love at first sight? That's hard to say that that's where we have to get into these clarifications You have to think of kinds of love CS Lewis wrote a book called for loves and he was drawing on previous people's work and I'm not saying that this is the only way to think about about these different distinctions about love But I think that it can be quite useful And he talked about four different kinds of love and he used Greek words for them Do the Greeks always mean this when they use the word euros or not? Now as a matter of fact, the word it's used in Plato's symposium to mean more or less the same thing as But it takes on a different meaning in other times and he talks about affection story, you know the sort of affection that you have for Those you spend time with those you become familiar with You can have affection towards Things as well and towards animals and affection towards each other talking about desire Eros encompasses a lot, you know, you think for example of boyfriend or girlfriend, right? That's that's an example of arrows or when you see somebody very attractive walking down the street and you feel Something that we would call infatuation or lost or or sexual desire towards them. That's arrows as well friendship feel you here you have something that's Quite different than arrows and friendship is a very important kind of love um You're not looking to get the kind of thing Somebody who are with eros and you are with affiliate, but it is based on some sort of commonality As a matter of fact, all three of these are based on commonalities Or on something that you derive from the other euros seeks what it lacks as Plato says in the other person um Then there's this sort of selfless love that the latin's called caritas. We get the word charity from it And the Greek word for that is agate that will turn us using the new testament often It's called, you know self giving law or selfless law or oppression law, you know by a lot of different names um I prefer just to call it love and what's different about this Is that it's not based on what the other person is providing you or what you're getting out of the other person or Even necessarily an appreciation of the person, you know Aristotle talks about filial and he talks about cases where you're not actually getting something out of the other person But he feels sort of a sense of admiration for their their good qualities of friendship in terms of Virtue and you might only be of use to them or you might be pleasant to them They're not getting as much out of you as you are from them Selfless love This is the kind of love that that christ portrait that is often seen as being in spite of the qualities But you know that way of thinking about it. I I would argue just thinking that it fully appreciates What the other person is And it may be in spite of who they are, you know when my Wife-to-be loves me despite my faults It's not just because she feels desire for me Or affection for me or because we have all these things in common that constitute friendship I I think that it's also because she she makes a genuine effort to love me For what I am Even though I am Okay, so now Think about this question about love at first sight What kind of love are we talking about? usually we're thinking about romantic love we want to say that's Desire that's erotic love is Is that all there is to romantic sometimes the movies make it seem like that But really, you know what the movies that really really portray that make it into the porn movies, right? the movies that show lovers coming to learn about each other To care about each other What's going on like feeling is developing as before perhaps even I've got to know they feel affection for each other. I don't think that it's just design Now the love at first sight part, but what does that tell us that tells us that love at first sight? is actually incomplete You can't possibly take in the totality of the other person And who they grow to be with you over the course of time in a moment to Kenny So love at first sight here's where we qualify Love at first sight Cannot actually mean the fullness of love and include all of these things Could it even include what we call conjugal? It could lead to it, but it's not it It's just the first bloom the first blossom of the season You might say And here's the question that I've asked you in return What do you want love at first sight before? What good is it going to do you it gets you into things But what really matters is what you do after the first sight after the first first encounter In the elevator who knows what else now the first shared lands That's where love grows and this leads to the question about soul mates You would only really notice somebody really is your soul mate through spending time with them And through the development of these other types of love their wax and their growth are unfolding So that is the answer to that question and I'm going to follow this up by talking about the The notion of soul mates in another video