 It is of importance that we learn and understand that not everyone is going to like you, which is okay. There are lots of reasons why people hate or get envious of you and you must come to terms with the fact that even people you are close to might be jealous of you. It may surprise you but the fact remains that many of our enviers are family and trusted friends. No doubt it is hurtful to know that people whom you give love may reciprocate your care with hatred. However, it is how the world has turned out to be. In this video, I will be sharing with you 7 ways that you can adequately use to handle hatred and jealousy. 1. Do not victimize yourself. Victimizing yourself or playing the victim is one of the most counterproductive investments of both time and energy. This attitude alone can cross your self-esteem because of something that is not necessarily your fault. Understand that in many a time, people hate you not because your actions are wrong but because they wish your actions were erroneous. It is not your problem. It is theirs. Hence, victimizing yourself tends to create a very toxic cycle as you give them more power to abuse you. According to American musician, Marilyn Mason, will leave in a society of victimization where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves. In as much as this statement is correct, you must attempt to be among the few that will stand up for themselves, rather than the majority who will allow themselves to be victimized. 2. Correctly understand the difference between criticism and hate. You've got to realize that there is a difference between criticism and hatred. It is an intense dislike and in most cases, birthed from envy. Criticism on the other hand can be a critical examination of your flaws. Criticism although assumed to be negative can also be positive if the critic relates it plausibly and suggestively. You have to be able to differentiate between positive and negative criticism. Positive criticism is used in the sense that the critic means well or has good intentions. If you are thorough about your differentiation, you will notice that a lot of people whom you assume feel hatred towards you are just looking out for you through criticism. 3. Do not self-hate. Hating yourself is easy when you've got bullies and haters who are always readily available to tear you down and won't let you feel good about yourself. Hurtful words cut deep into the soul. It may get so bad that even in their absence your subconscious is very much aware of how these people perceive you and may even bully you on their account. But when put in such position no matter how difficult it may seem, you have to fight it. One way to fight self-hate is to place positive affirmations about yourself in strategic positions where you can see them often and be sure to remind yourself every day that you are better than how other people perceive you to be. William Shakespeare also advised, stop hating yourself for things you probably are not and start loving yourself for who you are. When you begin to love and accept yourself for who you are, you will be able to detect the areas of your life that needs to improve and you will be inspired to work on them. 4. Do not justify hatred. People can claim perfection in any aspect of life, especially morally. At one point in our lives we make mistakes but mistakes are not enough to stare up hatred or envy. If you observe that someone or a set of people are ill towards you, make attempts to figure out what you may have done to warrant such treatment or feelings. Be ready to always accept your faults and make necessary amendments. Nonetheless, whatever the case may be, do not make justifications for people's hatred towards you. When you begin to imagine and believe that you truly deserve the hate, you'll find it difficult to forgive yourself and make appropriate corrections. Instead of feeling sorry, you might end up with feelings of guilt. 5. Don't become a hater. No matter the kind of hatred and maltreatment served to you, hating back should never be an option. Neither should you transfer such treatment to others. There has never been a time when hate has been the solution to any problem. When people serve you a glass of hatred, be sure to fetch them two drinks of love. Allowing other people's attitude towards you to affect your behavior towards others means giving them the right to control your life and character. Mothin Luther King, Jr. concludes the point with the following words. When in hate for hate, multiplies hate. Adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive hate. Only love can do that. 6. Do not let others project their fears into you. If there's one thing that you should understand, it is that most of the people who tend to show you hatred and jealousy are suffering from various psychological, emotional, or mental problems. Being able to comprehend that these people are badly damaged and feeling as though there's no other way of connecting with people besides tearing them down will help you handle them and their actions better. The pain they feel is such that the only way they feel better, even if it's short-lived, is putting someone else down. And most times the hateful things they spew out of their mouth go a long way to show you how they consider themselves and the fears they have. You shouldn't let those things affect how you see yourself. Take heed to these words by Rubbock to you. Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Race the rent and kick them out. And race the rent by leaving above the anxieties they project on you. 7. Kick it out. So, this is a very effective way not to only handle hatred and jealousy, but also resolve pending disputes. American author Marcel Beck once said and I quote, Once you are willing to confront your emotional sufferings, you will begin to make decisions based on attraction instead of aversion, love instead of fear. Where you begin to think about what was safe, you now become interested in doing what is right and meaningful. Hence, if you perceive that someone is unhappy with you or treating you unjustly, try confronting them. Most times, when people mention the word confrontation, many other people presume that it has to do with quarrels. However, encounters do not necessarily lead to fights. It all depends on your manner of approach and timing. Shine away from harmful and discomforting emotions does no good. Although you may assume that avoidance is better than approaching, avoidance only gives an immediate feeling of relief with less thought about the future. Many times, you may want to talk about the issue, but you are scared about how the other person will react. For this reason, you must apply tactfulness so that even if the other person responds negatively, your conscience will be at peace with you. Winston Churchill once said, It is a good thing that you have enemies because it shows that you have stood up for something. Something in your life. Having haters or enviers is not in any way an issue. It is how you deal with them that determines if it is an issue or not. If you deal with them rightly, you do not only set yourself free from their hate, but you set them free as well.