 Crime and Peter Chambers by Henry Kane transcribed and starring Dane Clark Private investigator duly licensed and duly sworn Peter Chambers. You're a private eye That's your business Anything else? That's for laughs It's mid-afternoon of a wonderful summer's day, and you're seated on a bench in Central Park drinking in the sunshine As a private eye you're notorious for drinking much more stimulating intoxicants in sunshine But you don't figure to be fired out of the union because there is a lush and beautiful blonde seated beside you Her name is bubbles Greco and she owns operates and performs in a spot on 52nd Street called the Bubbles Club The sky the green trees Oh, it takes a night worker to appreciate all this. Yeah, you and me both Don't you love it sweetie as long as I'm near you. I love it. I love anything. No kidding Pete this This night work dancing in a club all the time Sort of get you down. Well, it's a mood sweetie. It'll pass. It's too much sunshine. You're just not used to it Don't rip me. I wish I could no glamour. That's it. Just work work work Hey, you really got a baddest afternoon, haven't you? Bubbles Greco probably one of the ten most glamorous women in the country Great dancer owns her own nightclub independently wealthy and she complains What would you like to trade it all in for? You want the truth. Oh, what else my lovely bubbles? I'd like to be a private detective You switching the rib on me I think you guys have got the best racket in the world always excitement always activity No boss to answer to action all the time and when you feel like it you just knock off and look You know, I think you're serious You're crazy, but I think you're serious honey Have you had just one case if you experience just one case you'll be cured. Yeah, you want to bet? I'd love to bet good. You're the sporting type Let's bet your fee against six months of free drinks in my plush saloon Well, we talked yourself into a wager except for one great big catch such as what fee Meaning what fee for what case? Beautiful as you are Irresistible as you are you think I'd be sitting here actually letting the grass grow under my feet if I had a case There is no case. There is no fee hence. There is no subject matter for our hypothetical wager That's what you think Do I? Detect the prospective client and the offering you detect pretty good detective, but there's one condition name it Well as part of our wager since I'm to learn by experience you got to keep me on the ball with this thing every minute of the time I got a note from the beginning to the end sold Now who's the pigeon? Aristotle scanners Aristotle which Aristotle sconos the Greek gentleman. He's only been in this country about four days How do you know I'm well? I'm great Pete of Greek extraction Anyway, this guy comes into the club Very aristocratic gentleman comes in for a little relaxation and we get to gabbing and what do you know? He can use a private eye for what? Search me. I mentioned your name. I know he's been checking on it Anyway, you've got a date with him for tonight bubbles club at midnight and don't forget our wager So it goes Bubble dancer or senator's lady. You never know where a client drops from let's face it You're in a business. That's a screw. He is a $3 bill Anyway at midnight you're at the bubbles club and you're ushered down to a choice table and a tall guy gets up You are Peter chambers and your Aristotle Aristotle scanners. Please sit down chambers Tall and distinguished. Mr. Aristotle sconos Great temples van dyke beard and eyes as black as a smuggler's conscious I'm drinking champagne chambers. What is yours who might refuse a champagne as a sconos? Especially when it's a prelude to business You're quite charming. Mr. Chambers exactly as I had heard. That's a new type of recommendation for private eye charm Well to your health, Mrs. Sconos Champagne bubbles bubbles club bubbles record. Let's hope it's a profitable round robin profitable both of us Very good. I Hear you're in need of Assistance shall we say I'm in need of a good private detective. So you came to the bubbles club for a recommendation I have found in miss Greco wheat intelligence and a clear sharp mind. If that's all you found a miss Greco, brother Maybe you ought to take another look No What a seriously the matter of a private detective came up is sort of a coincidence Miss Greco and I were chatting in Greek. Were you aware miss Greco is quite proficient in Greek? I'm sure she's quite proficient in Greek So anyway, your name came up and answering to an impulse. I checked up on it very early And you learn that you are exactly the man I want clever resourceful sophisticated and most of all Well, thank you dad pardon Okay, okay, I'm a real big hunk of stuff clever resourceful and sophisticated So where do we go from here with the chambers? I want you to come to my hotel this Stanley on Park Avenue It is sweet 704 The bill here is paid. I will leave now. I want you to join me in 20 minutes There is something first that I want to procure from the hotel seat. You're the boss 20 minutes then goodbye By the way, yes, what do you do? Pardon your business. I I am a private detective So he throws you that haymaker and then he leaves to be substituted by bubbles Greco Who packs a cool hand at your cheek and sits down? How are we doing partner? Hey, do you know what that guy does for a living give up? He's a private detective Yeah, I know I like that a Greek private eye. Do you think it's a monopoly? They got them in Europe plenty of them go by all kinds of names private operative confidential asian assassin soldier fortune sweetie About our wager. Can't we make it something more interesting than free drinks in a saloon? Maybe we'll talk about that some time But you don't talk about it now now you've got a date with a Greek private eye at the Stanley on Park Avenue sweet 704 Chambers Peter chambers Come in come in sir. Thank you Mr.. Scanos is holding an item that's got more flash than a touts bankroll at the racetrack It looks like a crown that a queen would wear Diamond encrusted and glowing with gold Only it's half a crown beautiful isn't it? Oh That's an understatement. Mrs. Scanos. You know what it is. Let me hold it. Let me look sure boy That's really something you know what it is Well, it looks like half of a crown for a queen's head or a crown for a queen with a half Hey, you better take it. It is a tiara mr. Chambers half a tiara a priceless treasure Fashioned in 1550 by Benvenuto Cellini, especially for Elianora princess of the house of Medici It lost rested in total not half but in total in the bargello famous museum of old Florence Well, thanks for the history lesson towel But what are you doing with it or should I save half of it the other half mr. Chambers is Here in America both halves together This tiara from a proper collector could bring half a million dollars Separately each half has bought intrinsic value perhaps fifty thousand dollars It is part of my purpose and your purpose to bring both halves together to the tune of half a million bucks Are you safely mr. Chambers? Okay, my dear stados canos now. Let's have the pitch. It's The pitch the the story on this the story. Oh, yes, mr. Chambers, please have a seat. Thank you first About the tiara During the time of Mussolini a good many of the Italian museums were looted of their treasures and the bargello in Florence was one of them This tiara was taken after Mussolini's death. It passed through many hands I won't bore you with all of that But finally it came into the possession of a countrymen of mine a great gentleman by name of George Demetrius George Demetrius Tell me Did he come at the possession of this thing of this tiara in Greece or in Italy in Italy? George Demetrius was in Italy as a sort of little quasi political representative He had a lady friend with whom he was very much in love She was coming to America that is when this tiara was divided easy easy do it easy now as a scornos It's beginning to sound a little complicated not complicated at all money is in America a fortune could be realized for tiara in this country George loved his lady fair. What was her name Anna Marina? But he did not love her enough to entrust it all to her He saw that tiara in half gave her half and retained half and planned to join her in America as soon as he could get free from his Political entanglements. Where do you fit into this mrs. Carlos right about here, sir? Anna Marina did not go directly to America. She stopped off in Paris, which is where I make my office and there She retained me for what? This may sound a little brutal to you, but come on. Come on. Let's have it. Mrs. Carlos she wanted me to kill George Demetrius and obtain the other half of the tiara that's a real sweet dame and What were you supposed to get out of that? Fifty percent of what we would realize by selling the whole tiara wouldn't a boyfriend have given that to her He might have might not after all the tiara by right of possession was he's she had no claim So this way she's sure of half plus. She's rid of a used up boyfriend. I could not have put that better myself, sir So just casual like did you Kill this guy no no, but I did get to him finally and I did get possession of his half of the tiara Okay, I don't have to look into a crystal ball to figure out that you want me to find this Anna Marina for you But how come you can't find it yourself first? This is not my country Of course, I do not know quite how to operate here second for reasons. I will not bore you with I am a year and a half late Coming to this country. I see Well, Anna was supposed to be living at the ambassador you check the ambassador. Yes She did live there almost two years ago live there for three months then vanished without a trace I did all the usual checks and now you and If I may be so bold what's in it for me? Well, sir upon the sale of the fool tiara half would belong to me Which should be around figure about two hundred and fifty thousand dollars ten percent of that would be your fee Okay, Aristotle you've hired yourself a boy You go home and you go to sleep And you have nightmares about foreign assassins and slinky lady spies and daggers and tiaras and poison in a vegetable soup But the next morning you're out in the sunshine again with bubbles Greco and as per promise you bring her up to date Oh It's so exciting. You can just bust and what's the next step share shea as the boys in the pool room say love him Yeah, but how did you ever hear of Perry Quimby? You mean that fancy jewelry store on Madison. Well, that's the front. What's the back? Quimby's the top fence in this country There ain't been a hot huck of jewelry of real value that hasn't passed through good old Quimby Now that day has been here practically two years with her half a tiara She must have wanted some wood on it and so you're gonna see Perry Quimby when right now Hey, as a matter of fact, I'm late for my appointment already. Bye bubbles. Good luck, honey Perry Quimby smooth suave delicate well-mannered But a guy with more contours in a pretzel You get ushered through the glittering shop to a back room. That's fitted up like a hideaway for a sultan The good mr. Chambers, please come to the point quickly sir. Perry Quimby is an extraordinarily busy man Perry Quimby round blue eyes like an innocent baby Perry Quimby about as innocent as a wrought-up rattlesnake. All right, mr. Chambers You said it was important you were in the market for half a tiara I don't know what you're talking about. Do you ever hear of a dame named Anna Marina? I still don't know what you're talking about. Okay, mr. Quimby. Let's you and me get into a huddle and I'll throw some signals at you You ready? Mm-hmm tiara Benvenuto Chilini Eleonora house of Medici the bargello famous museum in ancient Florence That's about it mr. Quimby now Do we talk about that or about the New York Giants and my special boy will he may as we talk about a tiara? Well glad to have you aboard mr. Quimby have you by some freak of chance located the other half of that masterpiece Let's first get your half on the record, but I've seen it and I've advised against its sale half It can bring perhaps 30 40,000 hole intact. That's different. It's an item of rarest value I have a standing offer from a collector $600,000 if you can produce that other half Peter my lad we can both earn a handsome commission I can produce but I produce my way and what would be your way my boy I want to get to that lady. Hmm after all this is her affair not yours. Oh, what are you worried about Quimby? Any deal that's made it's got to be made through you reasonable logical and incontrovertible I'm a man of quick decision mr. Chambers Anna Marina is now known as Alicia Maritza She owns a bookshop in Greenwich Village So you're doing the scooter again Down to Greenwich Village to the address Quimby gave you and you meet Alicia Maritza or Anna Marina or whatever a real name is Turns out to be a sultry dame with a hefty figure and a seductive look You state your business and she leaves a shop in charge of another and takes you to her apartment just above her shop And there she calls Perry Quimby and he must have given you a perfect write-up because she comes back blowing Mr. Chambers, I believe we are in business. Good. Miss Maritza. Mr. Quimby tells me I can trust you implicitly Therefore, I shall deal directly with you. You can tell that to Aristotle scannos. I shall have no reason to see him You will be the complete intermediary scannos won't complain all he's interested in is his half of the proceeds And they shall receive every penny of that the plan then is this I go to my bank vault right now Obtained my half of the tiara and return here you go to scannos obtain your half and also return here Then together we go to mr.. Quimby and the first step of the transaction shall be completed good enough and go mr.. Chambers Time is of the essence You hitch up your scooter and you're flying again From scannos hotel suite and with scannos lending an ear you called Perry Quimby just to keep everything kosher And it checks perfectly Quimby's waiting and the ladies on the level Scannos wraps the tiara for you, and you're off again down to Greenwich village And the lady practically drools as she caresses both halves of the tiara like they're a couple of newborn twins It is like a miracle that the other they made itchy that you're of cellini is it not beautiful mr. Chambers Is it not a work of art? Yeah, but 600,000 bucks. I wouldn't pay for it would that I could afford to keep it But I cannot Quimby's waiting miss Merrickson. Oh, yes, we must go I suppose the money will be on hand within a few days. Mr. Quimby is most Meticulous that way Quimby's as good as a bank plus he earns his commission two ways from the purchaser and the seller Who can object and we shall arrange that 50% of the proceeds go to you as representative of our stottle scannos I want to be meticulously honest in this transaction. Oh, you betcha Yes, yes, who is it? Aristotle scannos after all he's your client you don't let him cool his heels outside you open the door and There he stands And surprise surprise he's got a fistful of Luger in his right hand, and he's pointing it business end forward He moves in and slams the door shut. I am welcome my trust Miss Maritza, you know, Mrs. Ghanos That is not Aristotle scannos not scannos You're kidding. He's the guy that hired me the guy that gave me the second half of the tiara My name is the chambers is George Demetrius George You mean that guy You you mean you too. Yes, we too this lady the light Of my life turned out to be as you say here in your country a filthy double-crosser, but what you told me about this Scannos he most of what I told you was true She hired him to assassinate me and to steal what was mine. No, no, please please George tried what he failed The tables were turned. I killed him in self-defense But before he died he told me all told me all Then I took his credentials, but I could not leave Italy not for a long long time But finally I am here and as Aristotle scannos. I sought my lady love and now Now I have found her George George, please please George. What are you going to do George? I shall do to you what you wanted to do to me I'll look just a minute kill you my lady fair and then I shall take what is mine and return to my country There's a plane leaving tonight. I'm prepared to take I just admit him as a scannos or Mr. Demetrius Whatever your name is mr. Chambers you have been most kind the most efficient For the time being I shall have to bind you and gag you and keep you here so that I may leave this country That is after I have attended to my lady fair But someday when the tiara is sold you mr. Chambers shall receive your fooling just commission That's real sporting of you pal, but at the moment a Dame like that is probably entitled to every bullet in the Luger, but the boy scouting you just can't let it happen So you throw a body block out Down you both go and the Luger is the most important item in the scrap Uses it before you can get to it Wings you but then you do get to the gun and you club him census and you've got scannos on the floor or Is it Demetrius and you're playing the gun at miss Maritza or? Is it miss Marina? And you drag yourself to the phone and pretty soon the place is flooded with cops And then you're home with the slug out of your shoulder and a bandage around it But bubbles Greco is making like a nurse and that sort of evens it up You bring her up to date on current history. Oh, it's all so exciting so exciting. Yeah Well, let me give you the final deal on it Demetrius is getting deported to be tried for the murder of scannos and miss Marina is getting deported to be tried for hiring scannos to murder Demetrius It gets a little mixed up doesn't it and that tiara well that goes back to the museum in Florence Where does that leave you? The slug in my shoulder and no fee and right now. I'm willing to trade in that six months of free drinks for Well, let us say a bit of special attention for my gorgeous nurse Something like this. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's a pretty good sample Tell me bubbles. Do you still want to be a private eye? No, sir From here on in Bubbles sticks to bubbles. Oh, yes and so do I and There you've had crime and Peter chambers Dane Clark was starred as Peter Chambers Crime and Peter Chambers was created and written by Henry King Others in the cast were Roger DeCove and heard as scannos and Brian a Rayburn as bubbles It was directed by Fred way. This is Fred Collins inviting you to tune in next week same time same station for Dane Clark in crime and Peter Chambers This is the United States Armed Forces radio and television service