 This week's episode is sponsored by White's Beckinsfield. White's Beckinsfield is the number one company in the UK to brighten up your smile at a very affordable price. Get your perfect smile today using code AG jamesenglish at checkout for a 15% discount on all products. Lighting kit from White's Beckinsfield. I'm on day five out of seven and my teeth are looking white. So mae'n rhoi chyfnodwch a responded yn ystod peithio, felly mae'n cael ei chyflod i'r arferol. Mae'n rhoi'n risi i chi, a wedi rhoi'n risi i chi. Mae'n rhoi'n rhoi'n risi i chi. Y gwaith o'r coglo hopeful am y lle, mae'n rhoi'n rhoi chi'n rhoi leolio. Mae Chawwai, mae wnaeth eich llwyr, mae wnaeth ymddangos chi'n rhoi, ac mae'n roi'n rhoi'n rhoi'n roi. Da, mae'n wowod yw. Mae'n gweithio. Felly, rwy'n dod i'n gweithio i'n 11 o 12 yw yw yw yw yw yw yw yw yw Yw'r yw yw yw Eryl Graham, Yw Dae Meck, Yw Yw Yw Yw Yw Yw Yw Henry Wharton, Chyffrn Lleid, mae'r cwmpfyrdd, yw'r gweithio'r bocs Ben yn Eubang, Hadwn i fel, mae'ch wasg i ddynau yn gweithio. Dydyn ni, Felly mae'n altitude yn y pethau, Maen nhw'n dod i'n gwneud pribysgu, Dill o'n gwneud hynny, Daadau'n gweithio'n gwneud i'r golygu mewn youn Llywodraeth, Dren ni, Gdi'n ddod i'n ddod, Mae'n gwneud i ni, Mae'n cynnwys y boc maes yw, Rhaid i ddod i fel, Rhaid i'n gwneud unig, Dwi'n cynnwys hyn nhw, Cowsley yn y West Midlands. I had a good childhood. It was good. My dad had got a scrap business. Horses and stuff. I never wanted to go to school. Naughty. Terrible naughty. But I was going to work with my dad. I never wanted to go to school because I was interested in school. My dad took me to a boxing gym when I was a young lad. My dad was a boxer. My brother was a boxer. I was going to look at the boxing. I started hanging around the gyms. I decided going to school. I always wanted to be my dad. My dad was my hero. He was a tough bloke. When he came from a tough family. A family of fighters. But childhood was good. Did you have a fight? That's why I said my dad was a boxer. He took me to the gym. My uncle was a pro boxer as well. You were the youngest? How was that? That was good. My mum treated me the baby in the family. But it was good. A co-compliant I had a good childhood. I hated school. I got expelled from school after. What age? When I was 16 just before I took my exams. I never took my exams. They had enough of me. They sent me home. What for? I had just been naughty. I locked the blogs in the boiler house. They liked staying there overnight. I was naughty at school. When did you get your first feet? I had my first amateur fight when I was 11 years of age. I hung around the gyms just learning. I was going to the professional gyms as well. My dad and my uncle. I was watching good pros as well. I had my first amateur fight when I was 11 years of age. I was going to the professional gyms as well. I was watching good pros as well. I had my first amateur fight when I was 11 years of age. A chap named Paul Floodd. He had five and one four. But I beat him easy enough. I had a mis-decision at the park all out early in Wolverhampton. I got the taste for it then. But I wanted more. Did you like fighting? Did you like being in the ring? My first fight was an odd fight for me. My first fight to be honest. But my second fight. I stopped the kid in the second round. I just kept punching his head till he went through the ropes. The referee had to stop me. Because I could smell blood. I was always taught by my dad. To be here to not be. The referee tells you defend yourself at all times. But my dad always told me. It's here to be it. I had that killer instinct from a young age. So you always wanted to go for the knockout punch? I could take a punch. I always wanted to cause as much damage. I just wanted to go for the knockout punch. I always wanted to go for the knockout punch. To cause as much damage as I can. I'll believe pain is better than points. So you're looking out to be ruthless. To just no matter how you win? My dad used to say. You've got to win. Because I was strong. My dad used to say to me. Make sure you put it on him in the first round. So your dad was a tough man. Just learning your ropes to go and take no shit. Take no prisoners kind of mentality. Who was your idol when you were younger boxing wise? I never really had one to be honest. I was straight. People asked me that. I never really had anybody. Your dad? I knew my dad. I used to watch tapes of Tony Simpson and stuff like that. Charlie Magary. Just to try and improve myself. I used to watch videos of different fighters. Just to improve my own style and my own thing. But I never really had anybody that I thought was an idol or anything like that. How many amateur fights did you have? I had well over 100. I went about 85%. A captain of England's book? A captain of England's team a few times. I think one of my best victories was when I went to West Germany and captain of the team. The England coach said to me. Don't throw all your aces in the first round because he's a good lad. I went at him when I steamed out across the road. I went at him. I stopped him in the first round. If I had listened to the England coach I would have probably had a hard fight because I would have let the lad in. I would have let him get warm and let him feel his way into it. My dad told me to hurt him in the first round. That's what I did. I said the grimace with the pain. I ate him a couple of body shots and I doubled it up to the head. He was finished. It was my best ever performance. Was that your mentality to go and try and get an all-cout point? It was as quick as possible. Why did you coach him? The England coach? He could say nothing. We were warning and we beat the Germans. I was captain of the team as well. Was that a proud moment for you? That was a proud moment. To be the best middleweight in England by the time you're 18 years of age to be the best middleweight in England the captain of the team. That was an achievement on its own. I boxed for England a few times. I knocked the Bulgarian champion out in the second round. I fought Raymond Garby, the world number one from Cuba. I lost on a 3-2 decision. But I had to box the day before. Boxing for England was an odd assignment. People were saying to me, you might as well turn professional because you're boxing the best in the world as I met you and you ain't getting paid for it. I came back from a tournament and I had to get me on train fair now. The one out sport England then the one out lottery grants or anything like that. Just working your way through the ranks though. It feels as if you're getting used as well at some point if you're not getting anything from it. Once you boxed for England four or five times there's not really much else to do. I was told I was picked for the Barcelona Olympics but I couldn't be bothered to wait about but I regret that. I do regret that. I wish I would have waited but I'll tell you young and young. Was that to stay amateur then? To say amateur. I was picked for the Barcelona Olympics but I never stayed amateur. I went professional. What age? 19. Still young especially for middleweight. Two months over my 19th birthday. What was your first pro fight? First pro fight was against Stinger Mason from the Earl Graham camp. How'd that go? It was a hard fight. He was a good kid as well. He had a few fights already. Typical Brendan Engel style. Sheffield style. Hands down low and he was awkward. I weren't comfortable enough. When did you start drinking? I started drinking to celebrate my amateur fights after we got to about as soon as I was old enough to drink. It was just a normal because I was winning all my amateur fights. I was celebrating all the time. I remember once going to the I went on an England multinations tournament and I was captain of the team there and I got all the after the tournament I got all the lads drunk to be honest. I wasn't drunk. I was all right. But the other lads was being sick and I had to turn the one over. Tony Costello I had to turn him over and stop him being sick on his own vomit and that. It was all right. Did you have any family members of any addiction issues or anything? No, not really. So you never seen any red flags straight away at such a young age? I was a drinker but he wasn't an alcoholic. Social drinker? But he wasn't an alcoholic. You see when you're drunk that's when you're drinking. When I first got the taste for alcohol, I liked the taste of it. I liked what it did for me. I liked it and I liked the taste of beer. A lot of people don't like the taste of beer. I liked the taste of beer and I could drink anything. I liked the taste of it. I was doing me boxing and it just started off as a celebration drink and then it just tend to follow me all career because I always wanted to have a drink. Have a drink before feats? No, I never did that. Some of the sparring jobs I went on with the world champions and all that I did getting the ring over a few times and stuff like that. When did you realise your drink was getting out of hand? Well to be honest he took me quite a while because I was getting away with it I was still winning fights and I was still drinking because I was young, I was young, fit, strong, tough I was very tough never putting off my feet when I used to think I was in video when I used to think I was invincible obviously I wasn't but I used to think I was because I had that mentality when I was brought up around a family of fighters I was in the gym with all professional fighters and I used to think I'm the best that's the way I thought I really did, I really thought I could do both What is that thing that's tall? It started to affect my career in my twenties and you know this is weird all through my amateur career I never cut round the eyes but soon I was old enough to start drinking when I went into the professional ranks when I turned professional my eyes started to cut I don't know whether that was the drink because it was thinning my blood but I never cut as amateur but when I started to drink and then I started to fight professionally I started to cut it's just weird I think the booze does something it's got to it thinning your blood weakening your skin it must do something I never cut as amateur when I don't drink but now I'm professional and I am drinking and I'm cutting it costs me some victories when the referee stops the fight because of a cut it goes down as a loss on your record and you've got to start again I've seen some of your photos when you cut as your face goes red I've had some horrendous cuts like 16 stitches I had to go to Orly Street to have the one done in the middle otherwise my career would have been over I've had some right bangs What was your first loss like? as a professional it was a cut eye it was a cut eye in the first round I beat the kid easy it was a walk in the park to be honest but it gutted me because I sold a lot of tickets because I was a big ticket seller I was a big ticket seller I was a big ticket seller I did a promotional deal and I could sell tickets that's how the boxing is today if you go sell tickets it's hard work the promoters don't really want to know there's so much more of an opponent so you need to be able to sell the tickets a lot of boxes and stuff get used now of course they do I could sell tickets and promoters wanted me because of that as well what was your best feat? I met your old professional I'd say against Terry McGee from Belfast it was a tough fight man he fought for a European title it was a hard fight it was like a bit of a baptism into the 8 round category 10 round category and Robin Reid as well he won the world title after fighting me but I took it at two weeks notice and I drove all the way to Glasgow jumped out the car and jumped in the ring with him because when I was on the England team with him he was all as good as me and I underrated him but when I got to Glasgow he was a different fighter he was well trained all credit to him he changed and improved so he'd been training harder but when you were still training you were drinking hard I was still drinking and going out I got the call and said do you want to fight Robin Reid on the same bill as Nassim I met I said yeah no problem I said how much I used to say all the while and I said yeah I'll do it I wore in the condition that I should have been I was just sticking over because a lot of fights depend on when I drove all the way to Glasgow I jumped out the car Kelvin Ho I think he was but they offered me to go up the night before but I thought I'd see the point I thought I'd just drive up there beat him and come back Did you have passion for the boxing go or were you boxing just to get money to pay for a drink No when I was growing up I was all right I was quite successful because we were working stuff like that working for me dad money was never a problem I'd always got all right but I wore money for a drink to try and pursue my career but obviously when the drink just it halted it You fought four world champions as well Yeah I boxed more than that If you can't know about any rubber as well it's like five world champions but I fought to my short notice they'd fought me up I fought four Glencatley to weeks notice because I was fearless and I could hold me on with anybody Because you've sparred with the likes of Nigel Ben Chris Eubank Nigel Ben he was the first top guy the first world champion of sport he was odd sporting I was only young I was only about 20 21 I hadn't been professional young and sparring Nigel Ben was odd but it was worthwhile because I learned a lot from it and Chris Eubank was lighter on I was more an established professional then I was his main sporting partner on his world tour but I've got to tell you the truth I drank every night while I was there with him and I could hold me on with him and he said I was the best sporting partner he'd ever had and Barry Earn, Eddie Earn's dad Chris Eubank Barry Earn comes down in his limousine and Ronnie Davies Chris Eubank's trainer Andy Flutes the best sparring partner Chris has ever had Chris used to batter his sparring partners and he used to get sent home he used to do it on purpose A lot of fighters come they got sent home first day they couldn't stick it and if you could stick it you got to go and get somebody in who can do because it's world championship boxing you got to be able to push Chris back and I could push him back I've done the first week on my own six rounds a day but I still drank every day and I remember I managed to get up and do he and a couple of times I took Ronnie Davies out with me he went Andy I don't know how you drink I don't know how to get up and do that and I don't know how to do it myself but when Barry Earn came I saw him with Barry Earn he said I'll make you a world champion and a multi-millionaire he said when Chris is ready to retire he saw him with me he said I will make you a world champion Do you see the potential in you? Because he watched me sparsy the first round Chris day throw a punch because that's you, he just stood back expecting me to go back but I stood back and day throw a punch so it was like style mate Did he know you were drinking at the time? No, since I met up with Chris after he died now anyway he died so there was nothing new there was only Ronnie what now Chris is trying to take him out with me he needs to go, I don't know how you do it That's the boxing I remember seeing Nigel Ben-Kris, Steve Collins even Prince Nazim that's the fights I used to see the entertainers, the showmen, the pure now boxing is more tactical I don't know if it's probably always been but when you seen these pure scrappers it was a odd sport with you bang the truth being a sparring partner is worse than fighting because you're doing it every day but he's trying to do harm to you every day I don't make no punches I talk honestly Chris Sheaubank was ruthless in sparring and he tried to knock you out every day and if he could have he would have he would have and he couldn't make Is that the way sparring should be though? Yeah it's the same but Nigel was the same they're all back they're all back and when everybody's in the gym watching them and you catch them a few times they know they're coming for you put a couple of times I used to all back I used to just do enough I don't want to keep having pressure pressure pressure all the time sometimes you just do the sparring part of my mentality and just flick your jab out and just move and just do it like but I had a couple of wars with a few of them as well Calzac he was the same as well he was a great fighter I sparred with everybody Everybody Joe was great I'm still in touch with Joe today I'm still in touch with him we've been mates ever since I've got friends with his dad Wim's still mates today he texted me the other day when he lost his parents and stuff like that he wished me all my best on my new path in life but sparring Joe was because he was a southboard and so fast dancing I'll tell you if he does slap, he's hard man See I think Joe's one of the greatest boxers I don't think he gets the recognition I think people who know boxing will agree but the thoughts that he fought the way he won them it didn't look like a typical his style was so hard tough man his style was awkward because of his southboard stance as well he was looking around 42 and 0 that's phenomenal phenomenal but there's that many I sparred with I think I went to I think I went toe-to-toe with about 11 or 12 world champions the likes of Edel Graham Uday Meck World Champion, Henry Wharton Chuck from Leeds who was a good fighter Ben and Eubank for the world title I had some wars with him sparring for his world titles there's louts I absolutely sparred and fought everybody What was your training like when you were on the booze as well Were you training or were you just sparring? I trained odd I remember coming from I was sparring 7-odd, the world champion I came from Germany I went straight to Tenerife to spar with Henry Wharton but I was out every night down the Strip, Veronica Strip and everything What were you drinking? Pints, vodka and stuff like that Because in the book I think you've said you drank 14 bottles out of Jack D Yeah I did, yeah That was at my waist out of my item addiction but while I was boxing I was able to you know I was able to control the drink I didn't sweat a lot I'd get up and run in the morning I remember when I sparred with Eubank I'd get up in the morning run up to the pier which was 2 miles because I'd been up in my car and timed it and I'd run back and get all my sweat gear on and then I'd have breakfast and just have a rest because Eubank always trained at 3 o'clock but I did it everywhere, I went all over Germany I went everywhere, Marcus Bayer everybody you know, Rudke May I sparred everywhere I sparred everybody and everyone I just used to turn up they used to phone me up and say there's a sparring job here in Germany 7-odd, Marcus Bayer, Rudke Bay to the Cologne Box Camp ok, how much? ok, book me a flight, I'm off if I was fit or not I make no difference How far do you think your career would have went and if you were off the booze? I don't know really because anybody could say that but I do believe Barier would have made me a world champion because he's got the pull but he done his end of the deal but I never do mine because I carried on my lifestyle When do people start seeing the effects of your drinking? Well, when you're getting older you know, you went the same I'm grave frustrated everything that comes with it but it took me quite some time to become an alcoholic because I was just a binge drinker at first but as the time went on that's what I become to be honest That became everyday Did your dad in that start seeing things, changes? My dad tried everything to stop me drinking He even come down my house once and locked me in the house and he said you ain't going out this house now I'm going to go and get a drink and as soon as his back was turned I just jumped out, climbed up went upstairs until the bedroom window jumped out the bedroom window, we know she was in socks on just to go and get a drink It's an addict we can get We're no matter what We're snuffing anything He couldn't believe it He couldn't believe it because I'd gone from being a local hero always on the back page of the paper from my boxing I'd gone from being a local hero to being a local drunk and then the trouble followed me because every time I went out and had a drink I was locked up while I was in trouble Getting into jail? I went to prison three times but I was getting locked up on a Friday night then having to go in court on a Monday morning locked up all weekend and that used to piss me off because he locked up he caught Monday morning and it happened all the while Did you ever try and stop? I tried everything I managed to have some sobriety and stuff like that and I did try to beat me addictions myself and I could put it down for periods of time but then I always picked it back up and then every time I picked it back up it could last for a week it could last for two weeks it could last for two weeks where I drink every day it could last for three weeks it could last for a month where I just couldn't get enough and I turned into the sort of alcoholic where the only way I used to stop was when my body used to stop me when I physically couldn't take another drink and that's how bad it was Yeah, black out I wasn't... there was no fun in it I'd just be sitting in a room isolating I remember being sick into a pint glass just pure vodka and just drinking the sick because it was just pure vodka and some of the things were happening to me from being a world class fighter it was terrible I mean, it was horrendous some of the things like I said, I've gone from being a local eater to a local drunk in a short space of time for everybody who knew me knew the guy that I was it was all wrenching to be honest It's tough man, especially looking back and talking about it, you think fuck me, but you're out there, side brother you're in a good place if I want so bad Nobody sets out to become an alcoholic I don't believe anybody's born an alcoholic the reason I became an alcoholic is because I kept on drinking and then when everybody's had a physical and a psychological change there's no operation or anything what can put it right because you have a chemical imbalance and it sets a chemical off called acetone and that acetone it just triggers it all off and you can't stop and the only way I used to stop is that it used to stop me that's what used to happen to me Did you ever get counselling or anything? Yeah, I used to have a counselling a bloke named Simon Rund he was a good guy, he tried everything but some of the things was enough to make you stop by getting stabbed I went to Tenerife and I brought me back I fell through a roof and brought me back and I got stranded there and I had all sorts of things that happened to me, I got run over I smashed my head open and I just lay on the floor just blood all just coming out and you think that was enough that I got run over lost my driving licence everything smashed my car got out and run off all sorts of crazy things happened to me you think that would be enough, you think well the writing is on the wall now, you've got to stop but I couldn't and being a tough bloke being able to fight all the world champions and do everything, nothing's too tough for me I couldn't do it I couldn't do it in my own strength they said to me, get to our colleagues anonymous and I did because I was willing to try anything I was willing to go to any lens because I didn't like what I would become I had everything and everything was just leaving me and going so you started to identify that you had a problem I tried everything what age were you then? I was in my thirties then when I started going to our colleagues anonymous I stopped boxing professionally myself and I started doing shows I spent some money on them from the ebf and the gold store and I started doing stuff like that I was still battling man I was battling every time I've done an exhibition fight with Nigel Ben when I was 42 and he's a couple of years older than me and all the build up to it I just drank every day and sniffed every day I had two days off the drink and I went to the middle ring with Nigel Ben and somebody had been spreading rumours that I was going to try and knock him out and I went to the middle ring with him and we faced a face and it wasn't supposed to be an exhibition and he said I've had everything you've said about me I thought alright and he come out blazing non-stop gave me everything he got but he'll have to read the book and find out what happened he ended up on the floor he was tougher he's a good guy as well he's had a tough life so when you're going through then in your 30s you're like I believe seeing you've got addiction problems you want it quite everyday but we've got too much pride where you think you can do it yourself you think I'm not that bad you look at other people and go I'm not as bad as them but we're only saying what no matter what addiction it is no matter if it's over eating, drink, drugs what it will kind of want it's human beings we know what's right from wrong but sometimes we get so disconnected so I'm not as well at crack and speed I tried everything else I'd stop drinking for periods of time and then I'd just take speed replace it with something else I put replace one addiction for another and I thought I'm alright the sense are bad and then I'd do a cocaine I couldn't get enough cocaine down me because once you've had your first few things he'd tell you they're the same how were you getting the money? I'd got money I bought my own house when I was 22 I paid for the cash I got my dad's scrap, he worked in the scrap business we've got horses we're the trotting racing we do all sorts of stuff like that I was always alright for money my brother lives on a gypsy site my brother does, we're not travelers I've always been alright like that but the addiction side of it I just kept trying and trying everything myself What were you trying to block out Andy? I wasn't trying to block anything out I was just it started off as just something that I liked me were my addictive nature which is what I've got I just like the taste of it I just started off as a bit of fun thinking this is good part of lifestyle I really did think I'd be world champion as well but I thought I could do well I thought I could debalth and drink as well and obviously I won Were you still sparring with people on the crack coke? No, I was on the odd drugs I went to Lanzarote when I was 40 and I was sparring with a Spanish super middleweight champion I was battling the drink then I was battling the drink bad I managed to do it but I was battling the drink bad every night and I was 40 then and he was a young lad only 25 and he was a good kid I was 40 and doing 6-8 rounds a day and every drinking of the night as well I wore like him at 20s and 30s like I used to be, I was struggling and that was my last sparring job then the day took no more after that then the day took no more I did the exhibition fight when I was 42 with Ben but that was the same I was battling all the world and then once I'd done that I was just he just progressed alcoholism and drug addiction he's a progressive illness he just progressed and I kept trying to think I can do it myself I can do it myself and I remember once doing it by my own strength doing 6 months and I thought I'm all right now and then that little man he says I have a drink and I fall oh yeah I'll try one and obviously that drink lasted for weeks you know what I mean, weeks and weeks all the good work I'd done knocked it all down you know everything and that you feel a lot of failure again and then you start lying to people again it's like back to square one so you just may as well fucking keep drinking it won't have fun for me I was in hell always I was on the front of my book a boxer's journey from hell to Christianity he's the truth I was in living hell I used to hallucinate I used to be that scared I used to be scared to go out the house for 2 weeks to load recovered it used to strip me of everything I used to be stuck in the same clothes unshaven, unwashed, couldn't do anything I used to be stuck like that for 2 weeks in a right mess I'd piss myself and shit myself I was just a physical wreck I was just a physical wreck and if anybody would have seen me then they won't believe you what age were you then? I was in my 40s then what height was the drugs 40s I went to prison in 2011 and I thought it was a joke because I was drinking on that and I came out of prison and went straight to the pub and now it's time I told myself I was back in prison again How long were you in prison for? Only 3 months You've been drinking in prison? No I could have drank, I could have had some ouch but I never did I kept thinking I'm going to try but that's the thing for me I did now I'd got a problem I did keep trying I took some drugs in Gile and stuff like that some Subitex and some other stuff but a day I now drink I was poisoned I went to prison 3 times and I came out in 2013 I thought I've got a dissort about this I've got a dissort about this because I had everything I was well off I got properties abroad, I got houses I bought a property in Bulgaria I bought a property in Turkey to investments I'd done alright and everything was just going and it did it did I carried on with alcoholics anonymous and I was in and out of the rooms of IA for years but I sat in the rooms and got my horse on the seat and people said just get there and it'll follow but I can truthfully tell you I'd like going to the meetings and I'd like being labelled an alcoholic from being a tough bloke and a world class fighter but when I was I knew I'd got to do something I couldn't do it on my own and it's all colleagues anonymous they talked about a higher power and I thought what's that about I don't get it I thought I'll just do it myself they told me I'd got to be honest in all colleagues anonymous I thought I'm going to get honest I've never been honest in my life you know you've got to do this and you've got to do that and you've got to get on the programme and I thought I ain't going to do that I thought I'll just do it my own way I thought I'll do it my own way I've got phone numbers of other alcoholics and stuff like that I waited a bit of time to pick my own sponsor because to get a good sponsor you need somebody who's been through it who's got lung sobriety and who talks a good story and I did get got myself a good sponsor named Paul he was like 18 years sober and he'd been in all science in the North Territories drinking and all that so his story was powerful and I asked Paul and I asked Paul and he I've still got the same sponsor today and he's you know I'd like to say that he helped me and really, really lot he did help me a lot as well but the first step was you helped yourself you admitted that you wanted a problem and you stuck to the plan and that's where you got your results that can't be difficult because like you say when you first get in there world class fighter thinking fuck this man you look at people as if they're weak but we're only saying what some of these guys are in these meetings for 20, 30, 40 years which is consistency to keep bettering their life and these men give back to other people to help bring them up well I did all that as well I thought I'd done AI service because it was suggested to do and I was willing that's why I believe I'm like sober today because I was I toyed everything and when I said you've got to do some AI service and I sponsored other people and I went in schools and talked just for AI I went in the prisons just for AI because I was trying to help myself as well and I mean I was at the stage where I was trying to do everything what was suggested to me so because I kept thinking I could do it on my own but I kept failing I'd have a bit of sobriety then I'd fail bit of sobriety, fail then every failure was like a breakdown it was like a breakdown I was absolutely battered really really battered it became your biggest feat yeah without a doubt it took me to hell man I tried to commit suicide because I wanted out how many times well I've had so many life I've had so many deaf experiences but the one time I tried to commit suicide was because I couldn't see my children and everything else and I was just drinking to clad everything and like I said having everything and everything losing you losing everything so it would become in your mind and then your mind starts playing tricks with you and when you're continuously boozing day in day out day in day out week after week week after week it does something to your brain you ain't right and I'd had enough I'd really had enough I'd got to the point where I wanted out I was with my girlfriend's house Angela I met Angela I just took enough tablets to kill an elephant to be honest some had told her like to go and check on me you know when they come and checked on me I was passed out and they found an ambulance and took me to the hospital they pumped a solution into my arm what saved me life probably but even then I see the crisis team and stuff like that and you know what when I see the crisis team they said there's people in this hospital with worse problems than you and that just fucking knocked me sideways because I thought I was in such a bad dark place you know my mum and dad was there and Angela was there and I was just broken alcoholic drunk and shivering mess and that's the thing it's not just the misery we give ourselves it's the misery everyone around us exactly because you know yourself people can't change unless they want to change themselves and it must be difficult for to not want to leave them or walk away because you know they've got a potential they know they've got greatness in them and it can be difficult because we don't just killing ourselves but we kill everybody who's trying to support us we see them not as a threat but any addict manipulates of the situation you become a compulsive liar and a great actor as well but the people who stick around and never leave you they're the special ones that's what Angela did she stuck by me and I could see that I was a good guy and I could see like I was trying and I was trying but even when after after that episode even when I come out of the hospital after trying to commit suicide I went and got a drink and started again just within an hour I've come out of the hospital that's how bad I was you'd think you had enough on you just stop what was on the wall stop but I couldn't I went straight to got me some cans and started drinking again So what was that moment then you decided to really go for it and really make changes in your life I kept trying but that's why I put my success down to God because odd eye do we but God knew I was trying I mean and then the time I had so many things happen to me I mean the one time I went to Bulgaria and I fell over and I just smashed me in off the toilet and Angela saved me life then I just lay on the floor and the blood just poured in it and I couldn't get my signal on the phone because it was in Bulgaria and I just had to all made together for 8 hours on the floor I just bled to death there's that many things I kept trying I kept trying I don't know what else to do I kept trying and then this one particular night again Angela was that worried because I've been drinking heavily I went to a boxing show I managed to get some sobriety only when I made myself bad then I stopped I had a few weeks sobriety and then I'd have a drink again and then I'll start again and this went on for quite a long time but I went to my last drink my last drink I went to a boxing event at Canock and somebody posted a drink in my way and I'd been off the drink in a little bit of time I've got a bit of sobriety and I thought I drank it and I thought I'd only have a couple I was a render I made a show on myself in front of my fellow boxers who got respect for me I was in Barysun and I couldn't wait to get my arm and that was terrible and then I was just isolated just stuck in the room just isolated drinking bottle after bottle again this is my last drink this was such a mess I was in such a mess I don't know what to do I thought I was going to die I really did, I looked that bad and I thought I was going to die and I found, I'd started a couple of times because the AI had spoke about a higher power I'd started going popping in a little church to try and find some answers expecting a big bolt of lightning to hit me but it never did I don't know what to do and so I found I've got friends with a man named John Crampton and I found him and he says what can I do, he's going to die and they come and they brought the pastor of the church I'd only just started going just to try and find answers because AI had said higher power and man it was horrendous man I can still picture it like I can still picture it like I still feel the pain I was in and I found him and they come and prayed for me and they prayed for me and they prayed for me and they said they could feel the presence of death on me and then when they left when they left I was like just mopping a baron and just fucking I'm like he's a drink and then something just happened to me I just I just dropped on the floor on the hands and knees and I said God if you're real I said if you are real I said you take my addiction away from me I said I'll follow you for the rest of my life and then I had spiritual awakening where I felt the presence of God and then I had another drink again Proudog i'r brallad absolutely proud of you I'm sorry I get upset It's okay listen it's a natural accurate all the time It's the truth and then that was on the 28th 28th of October 2015 and I got bad toys on the 15th of November just not long after and then since I've done that my life has changed so much I've never wanted a drink nor a drug I'm honest I don't do anything wrong I'll just help others and that's a great place to be and that's for anybody that's watching that's struggling themselves if you're addicted to crack, valium, alcohol if you're in a prison all your life no matter your past, no matter your age people can change that's what happened to me and then when I once I got bad toys I just went from strength to strength I had it tattooed on me two Corinthians 517-18 I'm a new creation the old has gone the new is here the book I was the book had the book come about Angela bought me a journal and I don't even know if I was going to write it I'm going to write a book It's on Amazon It's on Amazon it's only under the tenor and it's free post and package but if anybody wants a book or they want to contact me or if any alcoholics listening or need help, I'll send you a book for free because that's what I do I've sent hundreds of books into Pentville prison and Featherston to help help addicts but if anybody, it's on it's on Amazon anyway and then I've just gone from strength to strength to be honest I only started writing that book to try and self help myself but she, Angela, she just says you're not this man First of all, shout out to Angela for sticking by on by the way because anybody would have fucking ran a mile after the first weekend the first sign of anybody with addictions but she's the reason this book's here because she just bought a journal and I had no intention about a book or anything I said just start writing some things of the world champions you've been in the ring with because I've been in the ring with everybody and I said you're not this man I said just start writing to self help yourself it's got psychology in it and I started writing it and I started putting some names down and the feeling of me writing them names down I started to feel it was when I was fighting them when I was sparring them and that and I started to get a bit better and then I managed to put it into I read the book myself with a pen and paper they had nobody, no help, no nothing I read that myself broken addicted, crying sometimes you know what I mean and I got my scrapbooks out from my boxing career and stuff like that and that's how the book came about Fherry before you then was it Fherry before you writing your book putting it all in paper just bringing back a lot of emotions but as I was dogging me wrong I still kept slipping a little bit you know here and there I did get so but then I already started writing like notes in the journal because Angela told me to she was the one who was trying to get me to self help myself like he said and it did work because when I was writing it I was taking myself back to where I was and I was strung and fitting where I was like instead of being a shivering wreck in that dark place because we hide that all we bought that all and the best thing to do is accept the pen for you to release it accept it, write it down, do you know what fuck it on the piece of paper I still carried on with Alcoholics Anonymous and then I started sponsoring people and helping people and stuff like that you know the primary purpose of Alcoholics Anonymous is to help another alcoholic achieve sovereignty and that's what I did but I've sponsored people today and you know I'm lucky today I'm lucky to be set free I mean people say to me don't you ever get an urge for a drink and I said when I asked God to remove my addiction that's what he did I don't even have an urge for a drink it's totally gone, God did it for me I said when I said to him I will follow you for the rest of my life he knew what I meant to him because I've done loads of talks and stuff community centres, churches recovery groups and stuff and they said oh come God answered you and I said I've been praying for years and I haven't you know I haven't had a breakthrough and I said well if you're still I said if you're still sitting on the fence I said we're your addiction I said the only reason God answered me I said because he knew I meant to you when I asked him I said I'll follow you for the rest of my life if you take my addiction away he knew I meant to you I mean that's why I was set free and I said to everybody if you get your heart right I said God will deliver you you know I said because he delivered me he delivered me for no other reason I will follow him for the rest of my life and that's what I believe I feel totally blessed I've got a new life I've got a totally new life I see the world differently I look at everything differently and I've just like I said new creation what age are you? 15 now you look fucking great man good shape man do you think you'll get another fight again? I could have here, Tyson looks phenomenal at 54 age is a number sometimes people hit their plate in their 40s their 50s, I know guys in their 60s that run marathons do you miss the fight now Andy? not really I've got to be truthful I still train I train fighters and stuff like that but I don't really miss the fighting fighting is a hard work and you've had as many bangs to the head when you've had over 100 amateur fights lots of professional fights and I had more fights in the gym being a sparring partner for all the world champions I must have done 200 rounds with Chris Sheehan more and all the others it's a lot of punches hitting your head so I wouldn't really want me head being knocked no more does that affect you Andy then as well when all the punches and shit? you're on the ball sometimes you speak to the boxers and they are punched I've seen it happen because I've been boxing all my life there's people who haven't had as many fights as me and then punched drunk they get dementia, they get Parkinson's and then slowed right up so I think over a certain age because it all depends on how many miles you've got on the clock down here and I've got a lot of miles on the clock and I don't really want my brain being rattled at this height and all the booze and the drugs and everything else I think I'll just take it easy I believe everything repairs itself I believe everything does repair itself I believe if you eat right, train hard I believe the power body is such a powerful thing in the brain me missus is a doctor and they repaired me because I had liver damage I had kidney damage I had everything else it does treatments what repaired me it does treatments from the feet it's a similar thing it causes inner healing and it causes your own body's mechanism to release inner healing and I believe that's what healed me I got reiki yesterday before I came here which was a little spiritual in but it does the body's own mechanism is the best way to heal itself not tablets but I'm blessed I feel great you still watch boxing and stuff now I've got lads I'm trying and stuff like that I'm still involved and I still keep myself fit and any young lads they're always asking me for advice and stuff like that but I've just set me up ministry up and I'm interested in helping people and I'm setting that up I've just become a registered charity and I'm going to do that I've just been on TBN and I'm just interested to see where that leads me as long as you find your passion does it matter what it is as long as you're not hurting anyone I went up to Edinburgh I had eight people give their life to Christ and when I asked God to relieve me of my alkalism and I'll follow it for the rest of my life that's what he did so I'm going to stick to my end of the deal and that's what he did I'm going to follow a book of where God's led me since that book like I said, I'll write it myself and I'll write it along myself so the journey, everything I've done since I've been sober and since I've set my ministry up and the amount of people that I've helped that book has helped so many people I've had so many comments and so many people saying I've bought the book I've set free from alkalism I've set free from addiction it's just helping everyone because when you're down on your way out you'll try anyway like you said, if you want to get out any way you've got to get out of it you've got to beat it you know what I mean I was prepared to go to any lengths I tried everything and that's what people have been asking me for the book some addicts have found me up and said I've got no money, I'll send you a book free because that's what we do we give it back there's more pleasure in giving the gift in life is giving if you help someone else it automatically feels good and it's free as long as you can help someone just with a chat or whatever it is everything else is external helping other human beings is a beautiful thing I won't be here today if Angela and people help me I believe God works through people if I have had people help me I want to meditate it's all synchronicity and I believe we're all here for a purpose sometimes we've got to go to the darkest of places to find a light and then sometimes we're the fucking chosen ones to say right use we're going to have a fucked up past but we're going to come good at the end it's a beautiful thing it's probably been a world champion I won't be helping people today I won't be here I won't be here I won't be lasted another 12 months because the sessions of the drinking there was death there was a lot of pressures before a fight Andy not really I could handle the pressure before fights I won't bother about anybody I've never feared nobody that much do you think a lot of jink boxers should have a lot of things in place for mental health and stuff I know a lot of boxers who struggle definitely because there's stuff like that in place for footballers and stuff like that but Barham and Morgan did start a professional boxers association thing once but he day carry on he day carry on because a lot of fighters they give their life to boxing and then when it's over there's nothing for them do you know what I mean Scott Harrison is a good friend of mine he's a great fighter he's in a great place now actually just had a fight a couple of weeks ago and he's trying to get his book out but addiction is a bad thing because you're a boxer and people think he's a tough man we're all fucking human beings don't worry I'll talk to you about that when addiction comes on you in the bad don't worry you got me like I said for me just to be free of addiction is better than anything no mad can buy that no mad of money, no mad of anything what about turning your book into a documentary into your film well I've had a few Lloyd people interested but nothing's been setting down yet but you know I'll just wait if it really to happen if it comes but yeah it could be a few people have asked, a few people have mentioned it and I'll just wait and see what happens because it could be but it's all about helping people that book's about helping people anybody who reads that book will think that you've got set free and now there's some harrowing moments and you take it a little bit but I kept a lot of things I had I couldn't put a lot of stuff in there now there's lots of stuff I couldn't put in there I mean but I just put it I put it together what I thought but then you can do a follow up to the book and it's just to be an author you know and like I said I know Ghostwriter I'd read it all myself on the pen and paper and that's an achievement on its own you know and I've got it because and to put it on to Microsoft Word like in an email and I sent it to a few publishers and everyone of them wanted it did you feed Steve Corlyns? no I never thought Steve he knew I was like Ben and Eubanks we've spoken a few times at a few shows and stuff like that and he's always given me eye-regard because he always says fight is like us at that level he's a good guy Steve but me personally I think Eubank I think Steve is in the right place at the right time where Eubank had a lot of fights Bondo I think he'd had a lot of fights he's coming to the end but it's all about timing as well boxing what do you think is stated boxing now though? boxing today I'll watch it I'd often think it's as he's in the 90s were the years that's why I remember boxing my dad was a big boxer he used to do boxing and that's what I remember those kind of guys tough fights I think now it's all business there's not so many not so many draws now like there was then in the 90s too much business now the big draws used to fight the big draws but a lot of big ties and fury I think his story is phenomenal he's one of the greatest heavyweights of all time if he beats big Anthony Joshua I just don't think the heavyweight division is as strong as it was back in the day you look back at the heavyweights they're my different to say in world heavyweight champion you look at the likes of Ali, Toys and Lennox Lewis and stuff like that the Holyfield they're not like that to be honest I think so as well it's still phenomenal to be at that level but that here again in the 80s and 90s that's what I remember tough fights nobody hiding from anybody money has always been there but now it's all different promoters when I was in Germany there was an American guy there sparring with me his dad had fought Muhammad Ali his dad was Zora Fawley and this guy he was over there sparring with a couple of heavyweights over there and I took him out a few times and got him drunk bad info but his dad did his dad fought Muhammad Ali Zora Fawley I remember him telling me about him I remember him telling me about him good memories so through all the misery the pain, finding some light what are your plans for the future? my plans for the future I'm going to grow my ministry and I'm going to reach as many people as I can and I'm looking at opening a probably a residential rehab with my my partner my fiance Dr Angela Quinn so like a Christian rehab and it's all about helping people these days and then it's all about helping people and also like I said I'll write another full-on book but we're looking at opening a a rehab for people we're drinking drug problems when you talk about it a note brings back a lot of emotion what's your thought process now when you think about it you kind of laugh off as well when you talk about your story obviously brings back a lot of emotions but do you ever laugh and go fuck me I was in a bad place no, I don't laugh at it you could see the emotion in my face it's serious but like I said I'm glad to be free but I don't laugh at it because I was in... death was the only way I had for me I was in so much pain and I couldn't beaty myself and whether people are religious or not it makes no difference to me that's what happened to me then when I was doing... another story where I felt the presence of God my sponsor or told you about who got a good sponsor doing the 12 steps of recovery you've added the 12 steps well I got on the 12 steps and got my sponsor to take me through the steps and I got the mind step the first step is the primary purpose is to admit that you're life's unmanageable and you know you know you call have a drink and stuff like that and then I got to steps 4 and 5 and I had to write an inventory out of all the people that I had harmed you know and don't forget I had to harm some people you know what I mean I've done some bad things I used to beat people up and do things and stuff like that, deck collecting and all sorts of stuff with this inventory I started writing it down and going through the steps going through it and when I was on steps 4 and 5 I felt I had a spiritual awakening where I felt the presence of God again and my sponsor said to me he said you've just felt the presence of God don't you I said how did you know? because like your old feeling all come and rush over me I went all hot and I went all funny and he said I've seen him and he said Andy he said God's just forgiven you for all the bad things you've done for all the bad things where God has touched me both so I'm just blessed to be set free and that to me like I told you he's better than anything because I was gone man I've been brought back to life for anybody watching Andy that's maybe in the struggle that's battling some sort of addiction what advice would you have for them? well I tell them they'll suffer on your own because a lot of people suffer on their own and my colleagues and I help me and I'd recommend do everything you can get help and I would say get to Jesus he's only a prayer away because I did I asked God for help he answered my prayer because he knew that I meant it and anybody who asks the Lord Romans 1013 anybody who calls on the Lamb of the Lord they shall be answered but if you call tricky you've got to be ready God's only a prayer away and he's free this is what I tell people I say he's free but you've got to be honest and you've got to want to and that's what happened with me he knew I was ready he knew I don't know what I said but I said I'll follow you for the rest of my life he knew I meant it and I mean it with a passion and that's why I've set my ministry up I'm registered charity I'll go round helping people I don't take no credit for it myself I really don't I did keep trying but I couldn't do it myself so when I had that moment where I felt spiritual awakening where I had the presence of God and I never had another drink and I got baptized and I done my steps and I had another spiritual awakening and God works through people as well he put anjir in my life I want to meet a lady there no way give it all you got man give it all you got because he kills you otherwise if you can suffer on your own you need help a prime example and people can change you can't bet your life just to be the way I am today I was never honest I was never anything I was always a criminal sort of thing I dealt in all sorts of stuff just to live a normal life just normal honest good life I am proud of anything like that or I did I don't think it's big or anything like that all the stuff that I used to do all the criminal activity that I used to do I don't think that's good I like having peace in my mind peace in my heart and knowing sitting right in my head today and sitting right with God he gave me a new life man I'm going to honour everything I said to him I said I'm going to follow for the rest of my life and I want to make as many disciples to Christ as I can that are away from myself all the shit you've done in the past as much as you don't like it if you've never done it you wouldn't be well yet today you wouldn't be helping others showing them not to go down the same route you went down so that's where it is mate we'll make mistakes for human beings you're going to continue to make mistakes I'm going to continue to make mistakes but as long as we can learn from them as long as we don't slip back into the old characters it's a learning curve a belief in some sort if it's keeping you on a good path and being true to you honesty is key I mean some people come in the meetings and they don't believe in God and we say that's fine and some people just have the meetings as the higher power you know what I mean some people it works for them and it works but my more story that's what works for me but I'll just say to anybody put everything you got into it if you've got alcohol problems addiction problems and if you've got to like you said address the problem yeah face it head on because it ain't going to go away you can block it out but when you block it out you just want more drink or drugs to numb it out but you've got to face it head on no matter what 12 step programme it is no matter if it's picking up the phone and even asking someone who's been to a 12 step programme for advice there's people out there that want to help but first of all it must be at your life the guidance is there Andy for coming on today also people will get Andy's book I'll leave the link in the description and I look forward to the follow up but would you like to finish up on it Andy? I just want to say a little prayer I just want to pray for everybody who's listening I just want to pray for James to continue his good work and I just want to pray for all the listeners and I just want to pray for anybody who's got addiction problems in any form that they get something from this today and I just want to give all the glory to God for me being here today because I was a sinner I was lost and I was gone and I'll give Jesus all the glory so thanks for having me, amen Thank you brother, amen See you soon, keep fighting