 The FW Fitch Company presents the Fitch Van Wagen starring Alice Faye. You'll never know just how much I love you. You'll never know just how much I care. And Phil Harris. Won't you come with me to Alabama? Let's go see my dear old mammy. She's frying eggs and brawlin' ammy. And that's what I like about this song. Let's go back to a few minutes ago. The Jack Benny program is just finished. And we find Phil Harris walking down the hall here at NBC. Hooray for Hollywood. Hey, Curly. Hey, Curly. Oh, how are you, Frankie? Hey, where you going? Down the hall, Jackson wants to see me. Hey, ukulele ike. What's the trouble with you, kid? What's the matter? What was wrong with you on the show today? Why? Why? Oh, kid, you're murdering that guitar. Are you sure that that guitar of yours was toned? Who? What's that? Oh, Frankie, what's the matter with you? Oh, don't pick on me, Curly. I don't feel good. I ain't been able to sleep a wink for the past two weeks. Well, then, Frankie, you ought to do something about it. Yeah, maybe I ought to start going to bed nights. Frankie, I don't know why I even put up with you. You're the worst guitar player I've ever heard. You're tone deaf. You can't follow the beat. And you always play all key. Yeah. Lucky I'm in your band, ain't it? All right, all right. Forget about it. Now, look, I want you to hold the band a few minutes, because when I get through with Jackson, I want to run over a number. Okay, Curly. All right. Now, let's see. Here's Jack's dressing room. Hmm. Look at this notice on the door. Wanda, use foxtail for 1919 Maxwell. Well, he wants to see me. I guess I better go in. Hiya, Jackson. Is he sent for me? Oh, hello, Phil. Phil, where are your manners? Don't you know better than a barge into a dressing room without knocking? Well, I'm sorry. It might have been in my slip. I understood. Now, close the door. William, my head is getting cold. Okay. Look, Jackson, you wanted to see me, huh? Yeah, sit down, Phil. I've been meaning to talk to you for some time. But, you see, Phil, I... Well, what's up? Well, it's about your contract. Contract? Yeah. You know, that piece of paper you have that starts out to whom it may concern and ends up with an X. Oh, that. Yeah, you see, this is March, and your contract is nearing its expiration. Yeah? When does it expect to rate? Well, do me a favor, will you? For once, try not to be stupid. Huh? Force yourself. Oh, Jackson. The way you talk, I'm a moron. No, no, Phil, you're not a moron. You haven't made that yet. I mean, don't get delusions of grandeur. What do you mean? I ain't got nothing. I'm as healthy as you are. I'm not satisfied on my own show. I have to come over here for that. What I have to say is... What I have to say is very important, perhaps it'll be better if we discuss it later. Say it's your home. My home? Yeah. You have one, haven't you? Oh, of course not. Me, analysis, children of nature. We're two carefree nymphs who gamble on the meadow with gay abandon. Remind me not to be invited over here again. Where did you get an expression like that? Well, on my show, I ain't as stupid as I am on yours. So far, you've been holding your own, brother. Listen, Phil, I'll see you later at your house. Oh, you're coming out the house? I'll see you later. Okay, so long, Jackson. The fan's still waiting. Are we gonna run over that number? Yeah, Frankie, wind them up. I'll be right with you. Okay, Carl. Long ago in New Orleans On a little street of green There I heard a crazy fan With where the blues began There was Memphis Joe with his hidey homo And on his saxophone There was Sliphorn Slim, you've heard of him And his laugh and slide from bone Peg Leg Pete playing hot and sweet On the bacon pot again Dancers swayed as they played That was where the blues began There was Dogface Jet with his clarinet Hittin' high notes up and down Smokey-moke was there with his slick black hair Deetin' his drums like a clown While the buga-buga-buga of the big brown jug By a hip hat, dressed in jeans That was where the blues were born In New Orleans Peg Leg Pete and his violin Made a bacon pot of tin Hollers, outlets, the folks come in Dogface Jet and his clarinet The cutest pair I ever met Broke his reader, I'd been there yet Memphis Joe and his saxophone Sliphorn Slim and his drum bone They tuned up and settled down Then they all went to town There was Big Nose Test from the greasy vest Weaving in her glass of beer There was Gambler Jake playin' Table stakes with a sea-boat engineer Natchez Lil, she was dressed to kill Singin' love songs about her man As she moaned, people groan That was how torch songs began Then a cat named Sam in from Alabama Started shootin' up the flow Everybody broke through the pistol Smokeball, the windows and the door While the roar-roar of the 44 Busted up those happy scenes That was how the blues were born In New Orleans Whether you wear your hair up or down Long or short, you can win compliments On its loveliness if you use Fitch's Dandruff Remover Shampoo Or Fitch contains a special Re-conditioning action that makes Your hair soft to touch, lovely to look at Fitch's Re-conditioning action Beautifies your hair by its Thorough cleansing process It dissolves and floats away all Traces of dirt and dandruff from Your scalp. The antiseptic cleansing Leaves your scalp tingling with That clean feeling. Your hair Shining like twinkling stars and Easy to manage. Best of all Fitch's Re-conditioning action works Equally well for all colors and Textures of hair in hard or soft Wall. Buy an economical Bottle at Drug or Toilet Goods Counters or have professional Applications at your beauty or Barber shop. Use Fitch's Dandruff Remover Shampoo regularly. Exciting glamour to your most Becoming hairstyle. I beg your pardon. Must I, don't you recognize me? Julius Ebruzio, the grocery boy. Of course, Julius. Come in. You're all dressed up. You look so nice in that blue suit. Your hair all slicked back. Your shoes all shine. Yes. Now smell me. Must I? Go ahead, don't be I got on some cologne for men only. You have? Yes. It's called Mad Bull Number Five. Julius, you're not delivering groceries On Sunday. Nah, this is purely A social call. Well, that's nice Of you. Yeah, ain't it? You know what I did yesterday? What, Julius? Well, when I heard You was on for Fitch's Dandruff, I went out and bought all I could Just to help you, a good one. You did? Yeah. I ate his of it. That's awfully sweet of you, Julius. Yes. The only problem is Now I have to sleep on the fire escape. Oh, that must be Phil. Your husband? Take me in your arms, beloved. We shall die together. Oh, Julius. Don't be silly. You run along now. Go on. Okay. Farewell, soulmate. Hey, yo. Hey, Ebruzio. Come in. Hello, Mr. Harris. Look, what are you doing On Sunday. Best girl. Listen, Bruzy. Baby Alice is only five years old. Now beat her. Baby Alice. In fact, I never knew what was going on. He'd blow his brains out. Oh, hello, Phil. I heard you drive in. Hi, you kid. Hey, what's up, Jennifer? Well, Jack Benny called you twice. He said he's coming out here tonight. Yeah, I know. I know he told me. It's funny Jack coming here. He hasn't been to our house since the day we got married. That's right. You know, I've always wanted If he enjoyed himself at our wedding. He acted so strange. Enjoyed himself? Oh, he must have. He's still wearing the shoes. He cut off the back of our car. Well, have you any idea what Jack wants? No, I don't know what he wants. He said something I don't know. He was talking about something about next year's program. Next year? Oh, Phil, you don't suppose He's thinking of firing me? Nah. Terish the thought, beautiful. Jackson couldn't operate without Harris. After all, who'd wheel him on and off? Phil, don't be so sure of yourself. Think it over. What do you actually do on that program? Do. What do I do? What do I do? Well, I come in there every day and I walk in and I... I, uh... Well, I... And then, uh... Well, uh... My, how do you handle all that in a half an hour? My, how do you handle all that in a half an hour? Yeah, I guess you're right. They have been spreading me a little thin over there lately. They have been spreading me a little thin over there lately. Come to think of it, Jackson's a little sore anyway, you know. He's sore at the band since we did that show from Nashville. What happened there? Ah, it wasn't nothing. Only each musician showed up at the broadcast of the show. Well, that was awful. Oh, Jackson didn't mind that much, but all through the program, the guys kept spitting watermelon seeds into the tuba. Well, I suppose Jack is thinking of dropping you. What are you going to do about it? Well, dropping me, I can't stand for that. I got to be with him. Hey, look, I got it. Maybe we can play on his sympathy, you know. Tell him we're broke or something. Oh, Phil, he'll never believe that. I've been making pictures for years. So what? Tell him you blew your wad trying to keep your brother out of tahachapi. Very funny, but it so happens that tahachapi is a woman's prison. Well, that's why it costs so much. But you know, honey, seriously, I'd feel awful funny about not being with old Jackson. I've been with him 11 years now. I got to stay with him, honey. I got to. Well, even if it means taking less money. No. Well, don't. Don't feel too badly, Phil. It's always darkest before dawn. Your way, they bring the flowers that loom and may you see flowers over here. We've been expecting you. Oh, Alice, I wanted to fool you. It's good to see you again, Zach. How are you? Fine, fine, fine. Phil's upstairs, I'll call in. No hurry, Alice. I have a nice home here. Tell me, how are your children? Little Alice and Michael. No, Zach. Alice and Phyllis. Oh, yes, yes. Phyllis is the girl. No. No, they're both girls. Oh, of course. It's nice to have one of these. I mean, these are both. I mean, who? Two girls. Why don't you sit down, Zach? Thank you, thank you. Why, it's a lovely fireplace. Aren't you folks a little extravagant? Extravagant? Yes, you have two and iron. Well, just make yourself comfortable, Zach. I'll tell Phyllis you're here. Thank you. My Alice is a wonderful girl. So sensible, too. I wonder if Phyllis would want to sell her. Oh, well, I'm thinking I'll get the wildest ideas that I open that checking account. I hope I don't have any trouble with Phyllis, though, for next season. If you'll just understand my position. After all, I've got a big cast, Mary's mother. Hello. Oh, hello. You're little Alice, aren't you? Uh-huh. You remember me, Uncle Jackie? Oh, yes. I talk to you on the telephone. That's right. I don't believe I know this other little lady. This is my little sister Phyllis. Phyllis, this is Mr. Benny. Hello, Phyllis. You're not afraid of Uncle Jackie, are you? Are you really Mr. Benny? That's right. Well, prove it. Prove it? Yes, go ahead. You're Daddy's little girl, aren't you? Little girl, are you? All right. Maybe I'll have better luck with the other one. Alice, what do you have there? Our piggy bank. It's full of quarters. Quarters? Well, how'd you get it so full? Everyone who comes to see Mommy and Daddy gives us one. Are you going to give us this quarter, Uncle Jackie? Well, I'd like to. Let me see if I have one in my wallet. Oh, look, Phyllis. A pocket of made like a little mattress. Oh, it's not a mattress, honey. You see, I keep my watch in there and the ticking pulls you. Oh, Jackson. Oh, word! Let me see here. I think this is a quarter. Go have a tell to the green mold. Put it in the bank, Uncle Jackson. All right. Here you are. Well, drop it in. My fingers must be sticky. I ate a tootsie roll on the way over here. There. Hiya, Jackson. Hey, what are you doing? Robin, my kid. Well, I just put a quarter in their bank. Oh, Jackson, I miss Haley's Thomas too. Don't be so smart, Phyllis. I would have put in a dollar, but I see it won't fit through the slot. Well, if you fold it. I was talking to your father. All right, kids. All right, kids. Now take your bank and run along because Uncle Jackie and I got business to talk over. Go on. Well, Jackson, what do you want to see me about? Well, it's about the show, Phyllis. Phyllis is here. It's a new season, and after all, you've been with me for 11 years now. I love Jackson. I can explain about those coon dogs. And anyway, them watermelon seeds, why, they gave the tuber a rippling rhythm effect. No, no, Phyllis. Just that next year. Hold it a minute, Jackson. I got to get the phone. It's in the bin. Oh, of course. Hello? Hiya, Phyllis. Frankie. Oh, yeah. Hey, I found out why Jackson come out to your house. You're dead? Yeah, he's afraid of losing you. I overheard him tell his producer he'd do anything to hang on to you for next year. Oh, Frankie. Oh, this is great. Yeah. You know that Alice and I thought... That hit him for plenty, Phyllis. Let him have both barrels. He's a sitting duck. Oh, gee, this is great news, Frankie. Thanks a lot. Look, I'll let you know how I make out. Okay, Curly, come on. All right, he'll keep you waiting, Jackson. As you know, it's business, and now you were saying... Yeah, you see, my sponsor renewed my program for next year, and I thought, I might be able to squeeze you in, somewhere. Well, I don't know about next year. You know, after all, I got my own show now. Well, I realize that, Phyllsi, but I might be persuaded to give you a little more money. Yeah, well, that's nice, Jackson. Now, look, Phyllis, look. I've been paying you $85 a week this year. But considering, I mean, after all, you have a wife and some children and prices are a little higher now, next year, I'm prepared to give you an even 90. 90 bucks? Oh, Jack, that ain't no money. Why, it costs us that just for food. Food? Don't you grow anything around here? Stop it, will you? And besides, it's plenty expensive bringing up two kids. You mean your children aren't working yet? Of course they're not working. Then anyway, Jackson, you don't need me on your program. You've got Dennis Day. What he got to do with it? Well, you know how he imitates everybody? Yes, he's a clever kid. Well, one of your writers told me as soon as Dennis Day gets my voice down pat, you're gonna let me go anyway. Well, Phil, that may take him a year yet. Besides, you got to stay around to coach him. He can't do it alone. I'm sorry, Jackson. I'm sorry, but it just ain't worth a while for that kind of dough. Well, you're out of your mind. Think, 90 dollars a week. Jackson, it ain't enough. Well, I might go just a wee bit higher. I mean, what figure did you have in mind? 1,500 bucks. 1,500 bucks. But Phil, hot shot. Petrilo, boys. 1,500 bucks. That's more than I spend in a year. I'm sorry, that's my figure. You can take it and leave it. Now look, Phil, please, please listen, Phil. Listen, my boy, listen. Jackson, you're hurting me. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Now, look. Look, I'm... Look, I'm willing to be rich. I'm just, man. I'm offering you 90, and you want 1,500. I'll compromise. Compromise? I'll give you 95 dollars. And your boys can spit in the tuba all they want. I'm sorry, Jackson. It ain't no go. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll hurt myself. I'll give you 100 dollars a week. No, 100, you'll give me 100. Well, I don't want to put you in no spot because you need me, but, sir. So I'll tell you what I'll do. Just to help you out, I'll take it. Thanks, Elizabeth. You have my word. Are you sure businessmen mind if I come in? Oh, not at all. Alice, come right in. Phil and I have just come to terms. Everything is settled and hunky-dark. Oh, I'm so glad. Phil said he'd feel terrible if he wasn't part of your show next year. Did he? Why, he told me now that he has his own show, he'd even take less money. Less money? In that case, the deal is off. But, Jackson, we settled on 100. I don't care. You gave me your word. Bill Harris, don't pull that on me. You've been with me long enough to know my word doesn't mean a darn thing. But, Jackson, you go ahead. See if I can starve next year. Starve? Oh, come now, Buster. This wife of mine has money upstairs. We ain't even counting. Fine on his own show. Look, wait a minute. You're darn cooking. I just made five new records. Wait a minute! If you're not worth it, but next year, I'll pay you $100 a week. Well, that's more like it. Thanks. You're welcome. I'm glad there's no hard feelings. I'll have to be going. Okay, I'll walk you to the door. All right, I'll let myself out. By the way, Phil, the first week, your check will be $99.75. What's that for? You're bothering your kids back. Back in just a moment. Actions speak louder than words. And so do the results of Fitch's dandruff remover shampoo. For Fitch, remove dandruff completely the first time you use it. 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Yeah, but I think all that talk about money got him a little rattled. Rattled? Why? Well, he just walked out smoking a bottle of Fitch shampoo. Fitch Company again brings you the Fitch bandwagon with Alice Faye and Phil Harris. This program was written by Joe Connolly and Bob Mosier, directed by Paul Phillips, with original music composed and conducted by Walter Schaar. Included in the cast were Janine Ruth, Anne Whitfield, Walter Tetzli, and Elliot Lewis. Alice Faye appears to the courtesy of 20th Century Fox. Dagmanny appears to the courtesy of Lucky Strike Cigarette. They're so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy. Fitch is ideal hair tonic daily. It makes your scalp single without feeling a new life and past. Pep up your scalp and give your hair that well-groomed look with Fitch's ideal hair tonic. Bill Foreman speaking. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.