 The House of Squib presents Academy of War. Every week, Squib brings you Hollywood's finest. The great picture plays, the great actors and actresses. Techniques and skills chosen from the honor roll of those who have won or been nominated for, the famous Golden Oscar of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Now, he are Squibbin' sons, manufacturing chemists with a medical profession since 1858. Bring you one of the loveliest stars in motion pictures, Lana Turner. Tonight, you will hear Ms. Turner in one of Hollywood's most entertaining comedies, The Vicious Lady. The picture which, for best photography of the year, was nominated for the 1938 Academy Award. Have you ever married a botanist? Well, I'll never do it again. As a matter of fact, I don't have to. I'm going to stick to my great, big, wonderful husband till death doers part, so help me. I was singing and dancing in a nightclub on 52nd Street and doing very well if I do say so myself. I was making money, keeping the wolves away from the door, and Hollywood was nearer than Central Park. And then I saw the professor. Well, you can say that it was love at first sight. And when I looked again, I was married. Mrs. Peter Morgan Tho. Imagine me, the bombshell of Broadway on Saturday and back to school on Monday, all because of love and a wedding ring. It seems Peter was afraid to tell his father we were married. That is right away. So I revert to Bobby Sox and pose as a student. And I can't even tell the other kids my father-in-law is president of the university. Well, you can tell the public I want to college all right. I took my degree in double talk at Old Sharon. This is the campus lake, honey. But first, before we leave the car, I'd better give you this question for the exam tomorrow. I want you to know all the answers. Oh, darling, you're so clever. Oh, well, let me see. Now this question, Francie, has to do with... You know, Peter, when I'm alone with you, I get the same sensation I got when I rode on a roller coaster for the first time. Well, the question concerns itself with cleavage in primary plant life. Yes. Only the trouble with me is I never get to be alone with you. Yes. Yes, Peter. Go on. Well, you know, Francie, this botany is very simple. If you don't let the terminology confuse you. Do you feel that way about me? What way? Well, like you're on a roller coaster. Oh, yes. Now, primary plant life has a peculiar method of propagating itself. We know no reason for this, but suddenly a one-cell plant... Well, if you do feel the same way, why don't you tell me? We'll begin to show indentations. Oh, Francie, I love you so. You know, we are married. Oh, the meanie and spotlight's too. Oh, let's get out of the car. Come on, Francie. This is the school boat house. Oh, I'd love to see your boat. Well, there's a campus motorboat. We can sit in that. Well, wait. Help me. Oh, I'll hold you. Just step across. Now, sit here. It's quiet, isn't it? Yes. It gets quite a play from the students in the springtime, but it's not a bit crowded this time of the year. Alone at last. Well, where are you? Hey, right here. In the front seat. Oh, take my hand. Sit down. There. Hey, how about a kiss, Mrs. Peter Morgan? Nobody uses this place. Oh, come on. We've got to get out of here. Well, I can't see anything. Help me up. I can't get up. Wait, I'll get hold of this rope. Stop it. Stop. We're heading out into the lake. Steer the thing. I can't stop. I am steering. So nobody ever uses the lake, huh? Peter, if ever a girl felt unmarried, I do. Darling, do you think your father might be cooled off enough now so that we could tell him we're married? Look out for the barbed wire, honey. You've got to crawl under. And we've got to get out of these woods and do our car. Yes or no? Well, hot or cool, we're going to tell father tonight. He's over at the university now making his speech. Oh, well, I'd better wait outside. It would be just my luck to sneeze and kill his point. Yeah. Oh, wait, there's a cop. Where? In the tree? No. No, waiting beside our car. Well, it's our car, isn't it? Yeah, but we're not supposed to be parked there. It's against the rules of the university. Hey, you, hold on there. Just a minute now. Good evening, officer. We've been studying. In the woods, this time of night, studying what? A botany. I'm in his class. Yeah, class 207. Yeah, sure. Now, wait a minute, officer. I can explain. You better. Well, you see, nobody knows this, nobody at all. But this little girl and I are married. Oh, yeah. I got a good notion to haul you in right here and now. I got a good... Oh, I'll see you. Why, sure, my little lammy pie. Popsie is coming right away. Get in that car. Dad, will you sit down a moment? Didn't you get the notice I sent? I've got to make a speech in five minutes. Now, Dad, you better sit down. I have something very important to tell you. Now, Mr. Noble is endowing us with a new library. And the least we can do is to honor him with our presence. Now, please, come, get your cap and gown. Well, it just so happens that this is much more important to me than Mr. Noble. At this moment, your problems are secondary. Now, I must go in now. Dad, she's my wife. What was that you said? I said that girl is my wife, and she's the finest wife any man could have. Peter, are you mad? Oh, completely, sir. And I hope it's a permanent condition. I won't have you toss your life away. Well, it's my life, and you might let me please do what I want with it. You're a professor in this university with a future that might eventually lead to its presidency. Mind you, I said might. They're waiting for you in the auditorium. Oh, I'm all right, Mother. It's this boy. Oh, Mother, I'm glad you're here. Oh, be quiet. You know your mother has a weak heart. I won't be quiet. I've been quiet long enough. Oh. Oh. Oh, Mother. Mother, are you all right? I feel faint. I'll be all right in just a moment. Peter, you'll kill your mother. Now, Dad, this is something you can't change. Until we can discuss this further, I wish you wouldn't say anything about it to your mother. But, Dad, I've got to. I... If you don't care about her welfare, I do. Peter, what's the matter? Oh, nothing. Nothing, Mother, nothing at all. Well, here we are, Peter. This is where I live, remember? Yeah. Darling, ever since I came here, I've been ducking corners, sneaking about, hiding places. And if loving you means ducking and sneaking some more, I'm willing to do what... Oh, I don't want you to. You see, I just couldn't tell, Mother. She's been ill for a long time, and we couldn't shock her. Why should it be such a shock? Well, you see, you're not... Well, it's just... Well... Kiss me, Peter. Oh, sure. What was that for? Goodbye. Oh, what? Hey! Hey, Francie, wait a minute! Francie! Look here, you. Remember our house rules. No gentleman, I do mean gentlemen are allowed above stairs in the girls' apartments. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Don't you try anything rough. And besides, I wear glasses. I always wear them. I haven't got them on now because they're being fixed. And it's against the law to hit a man with glasses on. Hello, would you get me a compartment other than what I am trained for New York? Yes, and please send up for my bags. Yes, I'm leaving. Will you get this done, curtain off my face? I can't see. Peter, how did you get up here? Fire escape. Thanks. Oh, Francie, you mustn't be angry. You can't leave me. If you try it, I'll shout out the window that I'm here. I've got a right to be here. I've made up my mind. Well, what about our mind? We're not supposed to have separate minds. What in heck is that? Oh, that's what... I mean, that's the Murphy bed. It keeps coming down all the time. Here, I'll push it back. Oh, let it stay down. No, no, you sit on that chair. Well, I'll just watch until you leave. I promise I won't say anything or do anything. I'll just, just sit here. All right. Well, I guess you better kiss me goodbye. Yeah. We try to be alone and can't be. And now, when we're saying goodbye, we're alone and we have to say goodbye. Do we have to, dear? Well, you know we do. Yes. Goodbye, darling. Goodbye. Will you write to me? Oh, every day. Oh, please make it twice a day. Three times a day. What will you say? I'll say, dear Francie. Oh, please make it stronger. Francie, darling. Yes, dear. Oh, Francie, darling. I'm miserable without you. Three times a day. Yes. Oh, goodbye, darling. Well, I'm all packed, so here goes. You, you start out the window and I'll start out the door. Goodbye, darling. Goodbye, darling. Oh, there he goes again. Who's Walter? Oh, the bed. The maid calls it Walter because it's just like her husband always falling down. Oh, wait a minute and I'll help you. You know, once I just opened the desk and it came down. Oh, comes down easily? Um, you better go now. There's a, there's a cop down there. He might shoot you for a burglar. That's right. I think maybe I'd better stay here until he goes, huh? Oh, all right. I, I'll have a few minutes, so I'll stay too. But what if they find you here? Oh, it would be awful if I got around that you were found in a woman's room. Yeah, especially without a woman. Well, I never believe you. Oh, Pete, I can't go. Now you're really making sense. Who's there? The clerk. I've got your tickets. Your train leaves in 15 minutes. Oh, never mind. Go on, beat it. She's not going. You can return the tickets too. Who's in there? Open the door. You know it's against the rules. Open that door. Oh, see you tomorrow, darling. See you tomorrow. Where is he? Where is he? What he, what do you mean he? What's the matter with you? I have a cold. Makes my voice hoarse. Oh. Oh, that's too bad. Now look here. You take some hot tea, lemon, molasses, honey, and butter, and you put them all together. And they spell mother. Yes. I mean, no. Oh, Walter. Oh, no. The board continues in 52 seconds. Just time enough to tell you about a hidden treat that awaits you. Inside every tube of squib dental cream, there is something no label can show. It's something you find in the sudden coolness that follows a summer storm. It's something you find in the clean salt spray of the sea. It's refreshment. You'll sense it first in the flavor of squib dental cream. It's so cool, so fragrant with a tang of mint. There's refreshment in the brisk action of squib dental cream, as it helps to give your whole mouth a wonderful feeling of cleanness. And soon you'll come to notice a refreshing difference in your smile. For the special polishing agent in squib dental cream works with a touch as soft as velvet to uncover natural sparkle you may have forgotten. So get your days off to a more refreshing start. End them on a note of refreshment, too. Brush your teeth regularly with squib dental cream, a member of the great family of squib products. Taste, feel, and see the refreshing difference. Before continuing with part two of A Vacious Lady, we want to thank RKO for making this story available. RKO are also producers of Alfred Hitchcock's Notorious, starring Carrie Grant and Ingrid Bergman. And now the House of Squib presents part two of Academy Award, starring Lana Turner in Vacious Lady. Why, yes, please do. Won't you sit down? Do you mind if I remain standing? Not at all, Mrs. Morgan. Since you know who I am, it simplifies what I have to say. Young lady, I know everything about you and my son, Peter. Oh, Mother, I'm so glad. You know, we've been so afraid to tell you we were married. It's pretty hard to think about giving up something you're so, so crazy about. And I know it sounds silly to fall so completely for anybody in a couple of days, but I did. Oh, one look, and I knew he was the one. Well, he's just wonderful and intelligent, too. Well, you know you're his mother. What did he tell you about me? He didn't. I figured this out for myself. I think I'll take that chair. You mean they didn't tell you? Oh, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have done this for anything. Um, how's your heart? How do you feel? I think I'm going to feel fine. Just give me a cigarette. Oh, no, no, your heart. Not since. I only had heart trouble when it was convenient. Well, my best years of my married life have been spent in bed with heart trouble. Well, how domestic. Mr. Morgan. You'd better sit down, Mother. Now, Miss Brent, you look like a practical young lady. Please, Father. Don't interrupt, please. I'm practical enough to see that Mr. Morgan doesn't approve of me. Did you expect to be approved of? A girl out of a nightclub? A dancer? You're impossibly narrow. I asked you not to interrupt, my dear. Now, Miss Brent, just why did you marry my son? For a very simple reason. I want to be his wife. Do you know what it is to be a university professor's wife? Yes. Your wife just told me. Then you must realize that your talents run in another direction. I know my son met you in your dance hall and before he had a chance to catch his breath, you hooked him. Yes, I hooked him for his very desirable but very underpaid job. Or is his social position... I don't know. I can't remember which. That is what you mean, isn't it? Exactly. Mr. Morgan, you're not grading papers or dismissing class. He is my husband. I was going to suggest a quiet divorce, but since you insist on being unreasonable, I'm going to be forced to ask Peter for his resignation. But you can't do that. Come, my dear. I have to get back to the university. Come on. Come on. Come here. Go there. 30 years I've had of it. All for old Sharon, our alma mater. Alma mater, your sons and daughters are true. We love you through and through. Even though you break my son's heart, I still love you through and through. Well, you can have your alma mater, but here is one of her daughters who won't love her true and blue and through and through anymore. Coming, my dear. Coming. I'm going. I'm going too, Mr. Morgan. Thank you. And now, Mr. Noble, this will complete our tour of the university. Yes. I saved this until last. The son's class, you know. Pardonable pride. But even if he were someone else's son, it would still be the best conducted class. Oh, listen, Morgan, I know you. You probably tip the boy off. Come on, Colt Pepper. You can give if you try. Get in there and pitch, boy. Yes, sir. And so in quantum plate and plant life, it is inclined to give credence to the legend of Jack and the Beanstalk. After all, beans haven't been altogether the enemy of man. That's right. That's right. Open discussion. Any questions? Yes. Come up, my dear. Come up. That's better, isn't it? Uh-huh. Now, what did you want to know? In the reproduction of ferns, which matures first? Male or the female? What difference does it make, silly? I don't know. Silly questions? Come on, come on. You must have oodles and oodles of questions that need answering. I know Colt Pepper has. Haven't you, Colt Pepper? Speak up, Colt Pepper. Speak up, speak up. Well, yes, I have. But at the moment, I don't think I could make it clear. Yes. It's a man who couldn't make himself other sturdest idiot. Understand? No. Oh. You're from Texas, aren't you? Yes, sir. I am. Blesser. Yippee! Oh, pardon. Class is dismissed. Please excuse us, gentlemen. You can see that my son isn't feeling well. Isn't feeling well? I'll bet he never felt better in his life. Don't take it so hard, Morgan. Nothing like a liberal education. I know you'll get the library now. Yippee! Yippee! What are you trying to do? Be the black guard, sir. How am I doing? In front of your class. Unforgivable. Oh. Well, I figure if I did a little blackening of the family name, Francie could fit right in. Oh, so that's it. It convinces me all the more that you don't know what's good for you. Well, one of us must be wrong. And while you're a member of my faculty, you'll do as I say. Then you may consider me no longer a member of your faculty. Oh, now. Now look here, Peter. You don't have to resign. Oh, surprise, aren't you? You didn't think a Morgan could place anything above the university, huh? Well, I love it as much as you do. But I refuse to sacrifice one moment of my wife's happiness. Now I'm going to catch up with that train and get her back. Now, Peter, I won't let you. You're not responsible. I'm not. I'm not. Well, I am so responsible. I may have had a touch of grape and grain, but I can walk as steady as a rock. Oh, Peter! Peter, are you hurt? Peter, no, you'll be all right. Just rest, Peter. Rest. We've left our husbands. Yes. They're good and old. Doesn't one feel free? New York's going to be so much fun. Yes, so many gay places. We can go where we want to. Do what we want to and wear what we want to with no husbands. Watch out after us. Bother us. Oh, Mother, you don't feel good about leaving. Good night, Francie. Neither do I. What was I to do? I just had to go through with it. Oh, but it's all my fault. You were married so long, and I had to come along and cause all this trouble. Don't worry about me. You've got troubles enough of your own. But it doesn't matter about Peter and me. I hardly know him. Your compartment is made up, Ma'am. Good night, Francie. Good night, Mother. Sweet dreams. What happened, Potter? We hit a car, Ma'am. Anyone heard? Nobody seemed to have been in it. We'll be on our way as soon as the track is cleared. Good night, dear. Good night, Mother. There must have been some more sane and less expensive method of stopping this train. Next time your wife leaves you, I'll let you figure one out by yourself. I was going to trade that car. My wife is worth more than that, and I'm not turning her in. Oh, now, Peter, this nonsense simply must stop. Oh, Porter. Yes, sir? Porter, there's a lady on the train I want to see. I'll describe it to you. She's blonde. Yes, sir, and she left her husband. The next car, compartment B. The next car, compartment C. Thank you. Well, my dear, I've come to take you home. You're all right in my face. Now, look, Dad, you want to walk right through that door this minute, don't you? You don't know how. Because you've practiced too long being a stuffed shirt. Well, what would you suggest? I'd suggest, sir, that you forget everything but what your honeymoon was like. Hmm, excellent suggestion. It's there. It is I. My dear, that is, darling, I was in that wreck. The train struck me. Oh, my heart. My heart. Oh, my dear. Oh, goodness, why didn't you tell me? Here, let me help you. Now, you lie right down here and I'll get a cold cloth for your head. How did you get here? Oh, now, what sort of a honeymoon would this be without a husband? Peter, I'm going back to my job. Please go back to yours. That's what I'm doing. Oh, please, I'm miserable enough as it is. Oh, good. I was afraid you wouldn't be. Well, your father... Father's on his honeymoon. Oh, Peter, I hate New York. Well, how about Niagara Falls, darling? I could see the engineer about it. And we'll take those funny pictures, stand on the bridges and do everything everyone else does. Certainly. Well, here we are. Yes, here we are. You said it would all end right. Yes, I certainly did, huh? We certainly did. Look, the upper berth came down. Walter? What have you done? Well, you just tied his card on the door, he quested for the benefit of those who have re-tied. Yes! It's hard to match the climaxes that come in the vital business of developing and producing life-saving medicines. When penicillin was first produced, for example, penicillin mold showed a discouraging tendency to blanket the broth in which it was grown, to shut out oxygen and restrict the development of the whole culture, with countless thousands looking to penicillin with new hope for better health, perhaps for life itself, a way had to be found to speed the growth of the mold. And a way was found. It was discovered that penicillin mold could be grown faster in huge agitating tanks through which oxygen constantly bubbles, an example of the value of constant research and experimentation. The House of Squibb, through nearly a century of seeking perfection in the production of drugs, has won the confidence of your doctor. And you may share that confidence for the same quest for perfection is behind all the simple health necessities Squibb makes for your home medicine cabinet. To be sure you get Squibb quality when you buy, always ask for it by name. Ask for Squibb, a name you can trust. Next Wednesday, another great picture. The House of Squibb will present an inspiring Gregory Peck in the Keys of the Kingdom. Today's performance of A Vacious Lady was written for radio by Frank Wilson with an original musical score composed and conducted by Leith Stevens, our producer-director as D. Engelbach. Lana Turner appeared through the courtesy of Metro Golden Mayor, producers of the Technicolor Musical Holiday in Mexico. This is Hugh Brundage bidding you good night until next Wednesday at the same time when you're invited to listen again to Academy Award, presented by our name you can trust. This is CBS The Columbia Broadcasting System.