 The Crab Food Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. For everybody who loves mellow melt in the mouth cheddar cheese, we have a piece of great news. It's about Kraft's natural cheddar called K-Brand. K-Brand is for folks who really get a thrill out of superb quality cheddar cheese. Remember the name K-Brand Natural Cheddar. And listen for more about this masterpiece and cheese making a little later on in the program. Three nights in a row the Great Gilder Sleeve is called on Doris Dalrymple and stayed late burning the midnight oil. But the Great Gilder Sleeve should worry he has plenty of oil. Don't move Doris. Stand perfectly still just as you are. With a light from the doorway on your hair like a halo. And your eyes Doris, so deep and mysterious like the reservoir. I want to remember you just like this until tomorrow night. Until tomorrow night Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Mr. Gilder Sleeve? Well, throughout Martin's. Then you can sing to me again. I think you have a marvelous voice. You really should do something with it. Just a little love, a little kiss. Please the neighbors wait and sing it tomorrow. Just for me. Just for you. It'll be our song. Yours and mine. And whenever we hear it we'll... Isn't that cute? Good night, Drought Morton. But Doris. Yes, Drought Morton. Doris. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, you're so Christmas. I can't help it. I don't care. There's one for the other hand. Good night. Mr. Gilder Sleeve? Mr. Gilder Sleeve again? Drought Morton. Doris. Now you have a hard day at the office tomorrow, remember? Well, there is a lot to do, but I'll do it. Efficiency is our motto at the water department. I'll clear the desk in short order, bing-bing. I'm sure you will. Good night. Oh, Drought Morton. Yes. Would you do something for me? On a beautiful romantic night like this? Doris, your very wish is my command. What can I do? Before you leave, will you be good enough to set my garbage can on the curve? Hard day. What time is it, Bessie? It's 4.30, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Just half an hour until 5. That's when we close the office. You don't have to remind me. We'll close it on time, too. Five o'clock, right on the dot. That's efficiency, Bessie. We'll be prompt with everything in this office, and that goes for closing. We'll never be able to finish this report today, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. And as I, the mayor, wanted it before... You didn't just leave the mayor to me, Bessie. We're not slaves. We're executives. Or something. At least I am. And if an executive can't finish his work during business hours, he's no executive. No night work this time, Mr. Gilder Sleeve? No, Bessie. Day times, we concentrate on work. Evenings are for relaxation and recreation. That's when we store up energy for the day ahead. Remember that? Yes, sir. Let's see what you've done on the report. Right here, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Yes, yes. Just a little long, a little kid. Mr. Gilder Sleeve, you have the report upside down. What's that? Just checking the bottom figures, Bessie. I have more on my desk. I'll get them. No hurry, Bessie. We'll look into them first thing tomorrow. Is the old hippopotamus anywhere around the water hole? I'm a busy man, Horace. What's on your mind? I was just on my way home, Gilder, and thought I'd better look in. Working on your fiscal report, I surmise. Yes, big job, Horace. Lots of detail. It takes time. When is it due, Gilder? Last Monday. Just as I thought. If I were you, Gilder, I'd rush that report in. I'd get it in tomorrow. What business is this of yours, Hooker? I overheard a conversation Maritra Williger had and I think I ought to warn you that lightning can strike in the same place twice. The mayor can't fire me? Not again, anyway. Just let him try to throw me out and put in one of his relatives. Nevertheless, he did it before. That fellow Robbins had your job for a whole week. Robbins, the mayor's second cousin. I wonder whatever happened to him. He moved away, but the mayor has other relatives and very few of them work. You'd better turn over a new leaf, Gilder. Well, I was going to anyway the first of the year. What I hear, that may be too late. If that report isn't in tomorrow, you'd better start looking for another job. I don't need any advice from you about running this department, Hooker. I'm the executive around here. Well, have it your own way, but don't say I didn't warn you. Good night, Gilder. Good night. Mind your own business, you old goat. Oh, bad news tonight, Hooker. Wonder what mayor to Williger is up to. He's always asked for these reports several times. Wonder if he's trying to trick me. Bessie! Oh, Bessie! Yes, Mr. Gilder, please? Bring your pad and pencil. Bring everything. But, Mr. Gilder, sleep. It's almost five o'clock. Bessie, I wish you'd stop watching the clock. But you said you wouldn't work after hours. An executive doesn't have hours, Bessie. He can't put in overtime. He's no executive. Remember that. Yes, sir. Where will we start, Mr. Gilder sleep? We'll start at the beginning. Where is it? Well... We've had a long way to go here. These annual fiscal reports take a lot of work. Is that why they call them physical? It isn't physical, Bessie. It's fiscal. F-I-S. Fist. C-A-L. Cow. Fiscal. What does it mean, Mr. Gilder sleep? I wonder if I could hire Doris Dowrymple. Mrs. Dowrymple? Oh, Mr. Gilder sleep. No, no, Bessie. I can't get her anyway. Her secretary. Oh. She was a darn good one. Fourteen years on the same job. Quick to marry her boss. That's how efficient she was. I had her. I'll bet I'd know where I stand at the end of the fiscal year. I wouldn't have to sit up all night to find out. I'll be glad to sit up with you, Mr. Gilder sleep. No, Bessie. Thanks just the same. I'll take the report home with me and figure it out. I can concentrate better alone. I'll take copies of everything home with me, too, Mr. Gilder sleep. I'll concentrate like crazy. I'll be here bright and early tomorrow morning with the complete physical report. Fiscal, Bessie. Fiscal. Oh, what's the year? What'll I do? Call on Doris first, then sit up late and do the report. Or do the report, then sit up late with Doris. Well, business before pleasure. I'll sit up late with Doris. Oh, Mr. Gilder sleep. Hello, PB. Calling it a day, are you? Oh, no, I'm just getting started. Got a busy night ahead of me. Oh, I see. I don't suppose you'd care to take a long nice box of candy. No, PB. Business before pleasure tonight. That's my motto. That's very good, Mr. Gilder sleep. Nothing like a good motto to keep a man on the streets narrow. This is. When I was a young man, I was a little inclined to leap before I look. Then I got a little older and started to look before I leap. Of course, now I just look. You're a character, PB. Give me some cigars. Strong black ones. It'll keep me awake tonight. Well, they're elbow's ought to keep you awake. Anyone else, you'll have to be in the house. All right, PB. I'll try them once more. Give me a half a dozen. A dozen elbow's it is. Yeah, that'll be 24 cents. Thanks, PB. Here you are. Those elbow's seem to be moving quite well, surprisingly enough. Economical, PB, if you're a heavy smoker. Yes, but not exactly the type of cigar you give a man to make a big impression. There was a man in here a little while ago buying cigars for the mayor. He got the corona, corona. Who's buying corona, coroners for the mayor, PB? You should remember, Mr. Gilder sleep. He served as water commissioner for a while, as I recall. Not Robbins, the mayor's second cousin. What's he doing back in town? The worst water commissioner summer he'll ever had. Well, all right. Wouldn't say that. We've had some pretty bad ones in our time, present company accepted as gone. Robbins back in town, the mayor's trying to fire me. PB, give me six more elbow's. I have to stay awake tonight. And water reports. Why can't people just drink it without somebody having to keep track of it? Civilization. Good. Tonight's can night. Can night? That's all the women in this town think I have to do, put out the cans. Well, tonight's can night. I have work to do, Bertie, or tomorrow may be can day. Well, the city says to get them out on Wednesday night, and I try to get them out. Yes, Bertie. I try to get them out. That's one thing the city has to say for Bertie, she tried. All right, Bertie. I don't want any trouble with the mayor, do you? No, Bertie. Now, don't you threaten me, too. Why don't you have Leroy put out the cans? I asked Leroy, but he had a good excuse, too. Well, what's his? He's got a big examination coming up. He's pretty worried. He is? He usually saves his way till after the examination. He's pretty worried. He wants to talk to you about it. What about the cans? Yes, we'll see, Bertie. Hi, uncle. Leroy, what's this about your schoolwork? Well, it so happens that just as I was leaving school today... So happens, eh? Get to the point, Leroy. Okay, here's a note from school. Ask the spirit, note, Leroy. Who's writing them? Here, Rockmorton. Well, it's from me. Yeah. Leroy's geography teacher has had to come in and talk to me again about his atrocious grades. That's not good. I looked it up. Before demoting him, she is consented to test him again tomorrow morning. I know how deeply it would hurt you if Leroy should fail. And so I am suggesting that you spend the whole evening with him reviewing his geography work. But he, what about my own work? And Mrs. Dowrymple? Mrs. Dowrymple, what's she got to do with it? Eh, you wouldn't understand, Leroy. You can't even understand geography. Mrs. May, excuse me, Leroy. Be right there, Bertie. As soon as I make a telephone call. Very painful telephone call it is, too. Here goes my whole evening. Doris, about tonight. Oh, yeah? You're going to sing our song. Well, something has come up. What? I'm sorry, Doris. I can't see you tonight, you see. Where? No, Doris, let me explain. Please do. You see, Eve Goodwin wrote me a note today. Eve Goodwin? You see, she's the principal of the school. Yes. Yes, I know. I imagine she writes a very intellectual note. Now, Doris, you misunderstand. I have to stay home tonight and study geography. Mr. Gildersleeve, I don't mind excuses if they're good words. But studying geography with the principal... But Doris... How thickly! But everything's the same, Doris, just like last night. Listen, just a little love, a little... She hung up on our song. Back to the great Gildersleeve in just a minute. Have you heard about the modern masterpiece of cheesemaking? It's Kraft's latest triumph, a natural cheddar cheese, and it's made from pasteurized milk. The name? K-brand natural cheese. That's K-A-Y K-brand. Here's a cheddar cheese with that traditional mellow flavor, that tender melt-in-your-mouth texture. Here's a cheddar cheese made from milk that's carefully pasteurized. Hey, K-brand cheese sounds pretty special. You'll think so once you taste it. K-brand natural cheese is pretty special in the way it's cured, too. Every big 10-pound bar goes to the curing room, sealed in its own transparent wrapper. And it's still in that same sparkling, clean wrapper when your dealer gets it. You mean there's no cheesecloth or paraffin coating? Absolutely none. In fact, K-brand cheddar cheese has no rind at all. But then, it's all usable. Every delicious bit in sandwiches with pie as a snack or on your cheese tray. Tomorrow when you shop, look for that transparent wrapped bar with the words K-brand natural. Mark down the top and sides. Have your dealer cut you a portion, a thick slice or a wedge. Then, at home, try this mellow, full-bodied cheddar cheese on top of crisp crackers. Folks, that's happy eating. Remember, K-brand natural cheese is made from pasteurized milk. Now let's return to the Great Gilder Sleeve. He's just finished a big dinner and is ready to face the problems of the evening. Am I afraid of the mayor and his threats? Am I afraid of his unemployed relatives? Am I afraid of losing my job? You bet I am. I'll get this report out tonight if it kills me. You ready, Aunt? Uh, geography too. Well, to the belt a little. Yeah, you sure ate a lot, Aunt. Hard evening of work ahead, my boy. Have to feed the body before you work the mind. You're all set, all right. They might hand me that pillow from the couch there for my back. Okay. How's this? Malian. Geography. Want me to light your cigar first? Oh, thank you, my boy. True makes swell clouds. Can I have a cigar, Ben? Oh, sure, sure. There you are. El Lobo, the tobacco perfected by the North American Indian. Must have used them for smoke signals. Darn that peevee. You all right, Aunt? Oh, sure, yeah. Now, what seems to be your big problem? Geography. I know. But what specific part of the book are you having trouble with? You kidding? It's going to take longer than I thought. You start with the front of the book, Alaska. Yeah, they're always asking boring questions about Alaska. Boring? What's so boring about this? Listen, Alaska, population, 59,000 people. Seals, 808,000. See, more seals than people. In 1929, the fish product was worth $51 million, including cod, paring, mackerel, sardines, and... Well, some of it is a little boring. Some of it? Now, really, Leroy, if you really want to get something out of geography, make a game out of it, huh? Pretend you're a traveler. Pretend you're there among all the beautiful snow-capped mountains. Yeah, the cigar went out. I'll light it again. No, Leroy, it's better off dead. Warm, too, Leroy. While you're up, run upstairs and turn down the furnace. We'll be close in here for good work. Yeah, we can. Yeah, we still got quite a ways to go. We'll get it done. Have a great capacity for work. Yes, sir. Hmm, teach Leroy all about Alaska, and then... Hmm, at least it doesn't get hot and stuffy up there. That was fine roast beef Bertie had to get her. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Stop the sled here, Bertie. I'll go in and find out what part of Alaska we're in. Okay, Levi and I'll stay out here and rest our dogs. Your dogs? Oh, you mean the team? It'll only be a minute, folks. They're asked to park under where I am. Well, good afternoon, stranger. What can I do for you? Well, hello, Phoebe. Phoebe, I'd be careful who you call funny names up in the con guy, stranger. Oh, excuse me. Yeah, I guess I mistook you for somebody I used to know. Yes, I'm sure you met her. He was a fuddy-duddy old drugist. Well, I wouldn't say that. What would it be, stranger? Well, I might have a glass of water. Water? How about buying me a little something, big boy? Well, make it two glasses of water. She's cute. Say yes, stranger. Who's that woman? The most beautiful woman from Nome to Juneau. The lady who's known as Doris. Well, Doris, I didn't recognize you in that Auschwitz plume hat. But don't your shoulders get cold? Isn't that cute? Say, who's that at the piano? You mean ragtime monkey? He's playing our song. Our song? Of course, Doris. Don't you remember? I was going to sing it to you tonight. Just a little love, a little kiss. Bernie, what's the matter? Matt, who will it be? I thought I was coming on snowshoes. May or two later. And I don't have my report made out. He'll fire me. Right, Mr. Kilsie. I'm sorry, Doris. I can't see you tonight. Mr. Kilsie. Mr. Kilsie. Mr. Kilsie. Oh, sorry. I can't see you tonight. Mr. Kilsie, wake up. Yeah, wake up, huh? Huh? Watch your voice. Oh, hello, Bertie. Leroy. I told you he ate too much. He's all yours now, Leroy. I got to go back and clean the kitchen. Must have dosed a little, eh? Where were we, Leroy? We were studying Alaska. Oh, yes. Let's go on to something else, eh? Let's see now. What's this? Palm trees. Nice sandy beach. That's the South Seasong. The South Seasong. Very beautiful. Very romantic. Oh, for corn sake, he's going to sleep again. Very, very beautiful. Very beautiful. Very beautiful. Now, now, handsome white man lie back on bamboo bed. Me little native girl sit by his side. Huh? Little native girl. See, you look... Aren't you chilly? In South Seas native girls do not get chilly. Ah, yes. I see you're wearing longer grass this year. White man closes eyes. His Doris stroke nice, far away. His Doris? Who's Doris? Ah, your Doris. You, my husband. No, wait a minute. Let's talk this over. Whoop. Where's my shirt? White man lie down. When were we married? Oh, we not married. Doris find you on beach. You, her husband. You wash ashore. Some day she find flotsam. Some day she find jitsam. Some day she find quail blubber. Two weeks ago she find you. But Doris... So, you were her husband. Law of Ireland. But look, I have obligations at home. The niece and the nephew. Why didn't you marry flotsam or jitsam? Doris like white man best. She never leave his side. She care for him always. Well, I can't stay. I've got a job to do. I have a report to get out. Her two williger will fire me. Oh, handsome white man have too much sun. Sun? Doris get water. Water, water, water. Water. Now. Now you will feel better. Here come local water commissioner. Water commissioner? Carrying it on his head. But I can tell him about how to run his business. I came as fast as I could. Hey, look bud. See, haven't I seen your face some place before? In the States? Who are you? Me? Robbins. Matt, the williger's cousin from Summerfield. You're the guy who's going to make water commissioner? Carrying it on your head? What a water commissioner you make. That's the idea, King Roy. You tickle his ribs all that bad. Now tickle him all this bad. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Watch forth. My report. I have to get that out or I'll be carrying water on my head. Mr. Guilf, leave your secretary call. Yes, not part of it, uncle. Bessie said she finished the report. Bessie, she finished it? Yeah, it's all done. I wonder how she ever did it. Good old Bessie. Yeah, and I finished my geography too. I did it all while you were asleep. Your geography? No, me, Roy. Only 10 o'clock. Thought it would take me longer to clean up all that work. Still time to call Mrs. Dowry. Without a cozy little evening together after all. Just a little long. Hello, Doris. I have great news for you. This isn't Doris. This is Bessie. Bessie? What are you doing at Mrs. Dowry's house? You said Mr. Guilf was asleep. I brought the report over. She finished it with Jiffy. What? Now we're playing Chinese checkers. Won't you come over? No, thanks, Bessie. Oh, well. I've had my fun. Alaska, the South Seas. Who wants to play Chinese checkers? Well, here from the Great Gilda Sleeve again very shortly. Tomorrow night, fix up a snack for your family of crisp crackers, sliced rosy-cheek apples, and that wonderful craft cheese, K-brand natural cheddar. What a happy combination. K-brand is a natural cheddar with that traditional mellow, full-bodied flavor, that tender, meaty texture, but made from pasteurized milk. That's right, made from milk carefully. And what's more, K-brand has no rind because it ages right in its own spick-and-span wrapper. Every bit of it is usable for snacks on the family cheese tray, in hearty sandwiches, and with pie. Tomorrow, look for the big, wrapped 10-pound bar at your dealers. Have him cut as much as you wish, but be sure you see the words K-brand natural down the top and sides. Remember the name K-brand, the natural cheddar cheese made of pasteurized milk. Sitting in there waiting to fire me. Will he ever be surprised when he sees this beautiful water report? Who's afraid of the mayor's cousin? George, I'm the best water commissioner from Somerville to the South Seas. Joe Welliger, here's your report. I'm sorry the mayor isn't in. Oh, well, when he comes in, give him this report. He's in a hurry for it. I'll give it to him first thing next Monday. Next Monday? The mayor left this morning to drive his cousin back to Idaho. You mean Robbins? Yes, he's a potato farmer back there. He is? Well, has to eat more potatoes. Keep Robbins busy. Good night, folks. The Great Gilder Slave is played by Harold Perry. It was written by John Elliott and Andy White with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross, and Richard Legrand. This is John Wald saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Tomorrow night, Red Skelton will be Al Jolson's guest on the Kraft Music Hall paired over most of these NBC stations. Don't miss the fun. Remember, tomorrow night, for exact time, see your local paper. And be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gilder Slave. Do you like macaroni and cheese that's fluffy light with swell cheddar cheese flavor through and through? Well, you can make that splendid dish quickly and economically. Just get a box or two of Kraft Dinner. In each box of Kraft Dinner, you'll find special macaroni that cooks fluffy light in only seven minutes. Also, golden Kraft grated to add that delicious cheddar cheese flavor in a jiffy. Imagine that. A marvelous main dish ready in only seven minutes. And it costs just a few cents a serving. The family would say Kraft Dinner makes the best macaroni and cheese they've ever tasted. Remember the name Kraft Dinner. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.