 Daydreams are normally many poofs of happy breath of fresh air, what ifs? A brain microvacation. Yes, we've thought of what we do with the bazillion dollars we won from the lottery too. However, when the balance of daydream and reality tips so that your real life is seriously disrupted or even rejected, the daydreams have turned to the dark side, becoming maladaptive. Maladaptive daydreaming is an extreme escapism coping mechanism, usually in response to trauma, abuse, or loneliness. It can be an addiction and a sign to seek professional assistance, as it's commonly found in those with mental health issues like PTSD, anxiety, or obsessive compulsive disorder. Here are a few ways you can tell if that dragon riding trip you took after winning a mighty battle is a normal daydream or heading towards maladaptive. Number one, daydreaming blackouts. We all have somewhat of an internal clock. Sure, some are more accurate than others, but we all usually have an inkling of a few minutes or a few seconds. With daydreams, we can usually tell our minds drifted off for a few moments. At most, you imagined a little story in your head for what felt like one minute, but you're not too surprised if you see it was actually three or four. We then shake off the daydream and get back to life. In a maladaptive daydream, you essentially lose real-life time. Your internal clock just turns right off and you get so engrossed in the daydream that you're living your life in your head, having no sense of the real world. It could be morning and by the time something pulls you back to reality, you could be looking at the darkened sky and wondering, where did the day go? Number two, extremely vivid daydreams. Daydreams, just like nighttime dreaming, usually have that soft edge cloudy feel about them. If you picture it, you can definitely tell it was a dream. If you talk to someone else about it, you might say, so I had this idea that, or I was just thinking how great it would be if maladaptive daydreams are recalled far more vividly, sharply and viscerally. In fact, they feel so real that they could be mistaken for a real-life memory, which is why it can be helpful to have something else for backup to ensure that your remembering actually happened. Like an associated activity or a physical piece of evidence like a receipt. Bonus tip, this can help you discern if you're getting gaslit or if you should increase your self-care with your doctor's guidance. Number three, living the daydream out loud. Sit back for a quick second and imagine what you'd say if you had a chance to run into your favorite celebrity. Did you half-smile? Maybe raise your eyebrow at the thought? That's normal and we bet it was at least a little bit fun to imagine that. And now you're out of the daydream. In fact, while you were imagining the scenario, you still knew where you were for real. If you were maladaptive daydreaming, someone in the same space as you may have observed you talking out loud, pacing or making motions like you were interacting with the invisible person. You were so into the fantasy that the ability to tell the difference between that and reality was lost. So you just started living the dream literally. Number four, the daydreaming evicts nightdreaming. We mean insomnia. Maladaptive daydreaming can play a big part in not sleeping. The daydreams and fantasy scenarios become so obsessively engrossing that it keeps the part of your brain associated with it turned on and awake instead of letting it rest like it normally would at bedtime. Even worse, the insomniac brain can have trouble properly turning on the regions critical to the ability to focus and concentrate for working memory. This makes it even easier to slip into daydream mode. Not a good cycle. Improving sleep can help somewhat and there are entire studies, labs and regimens that could help. Just look under sleep hygiene. Number five, lucid daydreaming. When exiting out of a normal daydream, generally you give yourself a little mental nudge to shake off the soft focus camera in your head. You're back to the home drum work meeting and you might quickly whisper to someone next to you. What did the manager just say? Having realized you didn't really listen to them for the last 60 seconds. Basically, you know you're daydreaming. You're now back and you just want to catch up on what you missed. Maladaptive daydreams are more like being stuck in the matrix and you're not Neo, but you might be one of the crew members. You know you're in the daydream, but you don't know how to get back in touch with the operator to get back to the real or are you in the real already? What's real and isn't real doesn't have a clear division for the maladaptive daydreamer. This is distressing as they just aren't sure what they can trust. Daydreams are normal and can keep us from becoming overly tense or snapping. They can even be useful. Helping us plan events or giving a little juice to our creativity. When daydreams go bad though, we need to turn to self-care. As the saying goes, check yourself before you wreck yourself and maybe have a professional do the checking. Have you noticed any of these things with yourself or with others? How has it affected you? We welcome your insights and comments. Your life might not always be cupcakes and unicorns, but it's real, which makes it that much more precious. So stop daydreaming. Give us a like and I'll see you soon.