 Hey, Psych2Goers. When something bad happens, it can sometimes take us a while to get over the pain and feel okay again. That's why it's so important for us to let go and allow our psychological wounds to finally heal. But like a lot of things in life, healing from past trauma is often easier said than done. A lot of people mistakenly believe that it's better to just keep all those feelings shoved deep down inside of ourselves. But no matter how good you think that you are at denying your problems, unhealed trauma can still have a lot of devastating effects on our lives, even in the present day. Here are eight psychology-backed signs that your unhealed trauma is affecting your relationships. Number one, you feel drawn to people who are bad for you. What we look for in our partners and our friends is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves and what we think we deserve. But if someone has traumatized you enough in the past to have you questioning your value and thinking that you did something to deserve the horrible way that they treated you, then it's likely to make you more drawn to the same kind of people again who treat you badly. Number two, you're always looking for the first sign of trouble. Ever heard the phrase, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop? If you're still struggling with unhealed trauma from the past, then it's a feeling you'll no doubt be familiar with. In all your relationships, be it romantic, familial, or platonic, you're always looking for the first sign of trouble. Why? Because toxic relationships don't always start out that way. And if you've already fallen victim to it once, you'll constantly be on the lookout for signs or risks of it happening again. Number three, you have a hard time trusting others. Another sign you may still be struggling with unhealed trauma that's affecting your present relationships is if you find it hard to trust even the people you're closest to. You're always reading into every little thing they say or do. You do everything yourself if you can help it because you don't wanna depend on anyone else. You keep your secrets to yourself and you don't show anyone the depth of your true feelings, which brings us to our next point. Number four, you struggle with emotional intimacy. Similar to the earlier point, not only do you have trouble trusting people enough to let them in, you keep them at an emotional distance too. And of course, you're not to blame for this. You've probably been hurt, manipulated, and betrayed by someone you once cared about deeply in the past. But until you make peace with that trauma, it's always going to keep you from making meaningful emotional connections with those around you. Number five, you struggle with physical intimacy. It's also common for people with unhealed trauma to struggle with physical intimacy just as much as emotional intimacy. Why? Because they go hand in hand. Hugging, kissing, hand holding, and other acts of physical affection are all invitations for someone to enter into your personal space and get closer to you. And for people who still haven't healed from the pain of their past, this can all seem too scary or too difficult to do. Number six, you socially withdraw at times. One of the most telling signs that someone is still struggling with the trauma of their past is if they become socially withdrawn at times. They might not want to go out as much or spend as much time with their friends as they used to. They might also seem to be losing interest in their hobbies, especially if it requires social contact. Sometimes they might even go days without a single text, chat, phone call, or social media update. Number seven, you sabotage your own relationships. There's an irony to being in a toxic relationship. Again, it doesn't always start out that way and most people stay for as long as they do because they're either still waiting for things to get better or they've gotten very good at convincing themselves that everything is fine. But the problem with that is you might start to internalize that mindset and subconsciously sabotage your own relationships. You expect every relationship from now on to fail and so the moment you enter a conflict or a difficulty, you don't bother to fix things because you feel it would be useless. And number eight, you can't let yourself be happy. To be happy now seems like an uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling to those struggling with past trauma and to have genuine love, friendship and a healthy positive relationship seems almost too good to be true. On some level, maybe you don't think you deserve it but you do. Everyone deserves to be happy and whatever the cause of your trauma or however long ago it might've been, know that help is always available. So if you relate to any of the signs we've mentioned here, if you still have unhealed trauma that's hurting you and your relationship, please do not hesitate to reach out to a mental healthcare professional today and get help. Did you find this video valuable? Tell us in the comments below. Please like and share it with friends that might find use in this video too. Make sure to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell for more content. All the references used are added in the description box below. Thank you for watching, see you next time.