 What do you say to the to the man who is just kind of confused on like like what does it mean to be a man today and you know there's it's like I don't want to I don't want to be you know like just gender roles and women don't want me to be too strong and you know there's a lot of like talking and a lot of like battle of the sex and stuff what what would you say to that guy who's like like I don't like I don't know how to show up because like I feel like anything I do is just gonna like piss women off and so there's well you said something very good there that that's important to say the battle of the sexes is really the the the root of all evil right I mean the man do this women do this them you're not masculine enough you're not feminine enough it's a whole other level of suppression that's happening now where you know dogma once again it's just different dogma has taken off basic or taken away the basic humanity of people cooperating and loving each other and being with each other in ways that's good for all humans so to speak and so when a man's confused about his role as a man the more the most important thing is to consider that anything he does he does for a woman or in order to be loved or in order to be approved of is holding him hostage it's slavery and so anything he does so that she's off his back or she loves him where he gets some or whatever is enslaving him and hence he's not free and when he's not free he's never going to be the man he wants to be so what I would say to any man who comes to me and the man you know I teach men's groups not how to become a better man but how to be a man with a woman right because I'm not a man so I can talk about how to become a better man but I can talk a lot about how do you become the man that's compelling to a woman and the first and foremost thing is become free right you have to get to a point where you no longer give a shit if your actions are going to bring you the love and the fame and the fortune and the desired outcome that you desire because as long as you desire driven or outcome driven you're a bitch to somebody your boss the world money your woman as long as you somebody's bitch you're never going to be free and so freedom that kind of freedom of no longer needing to be pleasing mommy which is what it comes down to we can talk about that a little bit more later not wanting to not having to please mommy is the thing that makes you able to do anything you want to do with great clarity because you don't have to do it you might as well you might still do amazing things for your woman but you do them because they're the right thing to do in that particular moment for that particular occasion not because if you don't there's hell to pay