 I want to move on if that's okay over to another part of your life which I do know a little bit about which is the online mail self-improvement community. I hear that you were part of that community. How did that come about? Was it sort of the red pill stuff or the dating advice base or a mix of both? What sort of part of that were you? Yeah so again I have to repeat that I'm old so for me it wasn't even called red pill back then. Back then red it was simply called pick up. Back then red pill used to be something that is classified now as conspiracy theories basically so red pill was anything that goes into establishment what is the truth of 9-11 etc etc there was red pill and yeah the dating advice was simply called pick up and that happened when I was still 19 early 20s. I actually picked up a book right and it was. That's what the book was? Yeah I'm thinking the first one was a German book actually it was called Lop des Sexismus which means how do I translate this? It means honouring sexism basically right and yeah it was mainly about what it means to be a man what it means to be a woman however it absolutely fits into my worldview during that time because I wasn't very religious and I started believing in evolution, Darwinism, biology itself due to bodybuilding basically so I thought okay we are our bodies and this book was very evolutionary so I was speaking about the men as the alpha male what kind of attributes he has to have in order to attract women and males are made to procreate with as many women as possible marriage is a construct etc etc so after reading that book with 19 or so I got totally brainwashed and yeah I was just bodybuilding I was this very very buff dude at that time I was 115 kilograms super huge and I thought okay I'm on the right track here this is what we're supposed to do we are we're taking our body we're enhancing it to the very max we're making it as masculine as possible and now I'm just gonna go out and conquer the world you know get as many women as possible that was the idea and conquer the world as many women as possible yeah that was really the idea back then and yeah I read a few other books so ultimately the dating advice back then was very juvenile there was a bunch of nerds that were writing those books to be totally honest and they didn't really had any social skills so therefore they tried to sneak into conversations with women for example they would ask them super dumb stuff you know I do you brush your teeth before you floss or do you floss first like some random stupid question and then you would get into that conversation and I felt right away that this is just not really what I want to go after so I gradually progressed and there were other dating advice out there as well during that time they were more aggressive so you have to be assertive and all of those things so long story short it was even before it became an online community there were books circulating everywhere and I met up with people from America from Croatia I remember the UK and would even meet up just to pursue women you know so we would meet up in different countries as well and do that and yeah during that time I mean as a 20 year old it is gratifying in the short term of course you know I mean eating a cheeseburger is gratifying as well but in the long run you get a heart attack and you get fat you know so therefore of course there is something to it that will trigger your dopamine that will make you feel better otherwise nobody would go after it right if there was no pleasure associated with it then it would be easy for us to abstain from that nowadays of course I understand that that was sinful that there was meat chasing pleasures but back then I didn't understand it and as I said I would blame it not necessarily on the red pill movement I would blame it on a godless society because if you don't have God at all then you have as I said an evolutionary framework you have a Darwinistic worldview and if you have that then all you got is this biological monkey that evolved and so why would you then adhere to any type of morals why would you even care about anything of a higher value higher purpose that doesn't interest you whatsoever especially not if there is no afterlife and the lamps go off right the lights go out and yeah everything that you live through is essentially nothingness it is nihilism right everything that you did good or evil does not count so the only real that you can grasp onto is your pleasure that's it there's literally nothing and that's why they tell you yolo live in the day you only have one life whatever and that's all you got especially is a 20 year old that doesn't look any further right and so for me it made sense okay what do I got I got a body so I do bodybuilding what else do I got I got an evolutionary framework without God okay so what am I supposed to do as a man I'm supposed to procreate with as many women as possible okay I do that then so then there's only one link missing here I need money to sustain that lifestyle so I can start selling drugs and that's what I did so this was my matrix my trinity of absolute degeneracy but I can understand myself I can't even blame myself because I was a product of that society ultimately you know the older we get we have to take responsibility but I see that in this day and age now even worse than during my times there is no other option given to the you you know and of course we as Muslims believe that Islam is the solution to all of those problems it's really sad I see so many people going through this oh we've lost you okay yeah that's okay we've seen we see so many people go through this recently especially men because men currently don't know how to be men so they fall into either you know the trap of this of being part of drugs alcohol women or they fall into the trap of becoming women you know that it's just like two options really that they have and then women now want to be men they want to be feminist and they want to run the world and it's yeah it's sad but I can understand how they fall into that because like you said if they've got nothing else they have no faith and faith having a faith is not cool right now and so they become like this because this becomes their god and this becomes what they want to be absolutely yeah sure but moreover I trace it back to weak men you know we as men we have to take full responsibility because the red pill movement why I personally don't don't agree with it whatsoever is because there's one major flaw right they say okay look at all those women they're promiscuous show me your body count they go from man to man and of course that is very demoralizing for a man of course we as men ideally would like to have a virgin sure however the red pill enables this so you say women are not allowed to be promiscuous I agree but if you jump from woman to woman then you make them into women that are promiscuous and yourself included right so this is where it does not work the ideology is not congruent you cannot tell me that all of those women do something wrong but you're engaged you're enabling those women to do something wrong so for example if you are against pornography or you're against prostitution there could be a million of prostitutes out there if nobody would go there and enable that business then those prostitutes would be prostituted by name but not by action it would be possible because nobody would engage in that business right and it's the same thing with the dating scene so if you're against that then you cannot be engaged with it and that's what I understood later in my life as well you know I hated this degeneracy and this is what the red pill talks against look at this degeneracy you are part of it directly you are creating it you know so yeah once you understand that you see how flawed this ideology is and therefore the only solution yet again which Islam offers here of course is sex after marriage right it is weddings it is marriage and yeah once men understand that and they cherish and respect women that are staying virgin or are women that actually want to get married and do not go to those promiscuous women then it would die out but as long as men are weak and fall for such women then they're just enabling it and women ultimately in this day and age they don't understand it because they don't understand what the true nature is of course the woman wants to bind the man to her of course she wants that that is her role that is purpose she wants to bind the man to her she wants children of that man of course however nowadays this is mistaken with attention and the woman doesn't understand that what she really wants is to bind a man to her and get kids in such a things are just quick attention will fix this and then they do it during the 20s and then the 30s they are shattered I have so many past girlfriends if you will that I absolutely shattered in the 30s now and I'm not saying that to be funny here is really the case now they're dog mummies you know now they're buying a dog and men are evil and we are feminist etc etc etc you know but nevertheless we as men should take full responsibility here I believe because the woman will follow and we as men we have to become strong and return to God first and lead the society and abstain from those sins first and foremost because if we abstain then there is absolute no degeneracy to commit so do you think that's what the solution of our society today is is that men coming up to Islam or just to God in general and becoming men again do you think that's what the solution is to