 Peeling a skin off with my bare hands, man. You should come next time. Yeah, I have Matt. Are we flay? Yeah, are we flay? Satin on 25 fly So no 25 It's pretty fully actual. Oh, yeah, still another 25. No, I still love 15 Sorry 15 of four months of this shit. We better start organizing the finale Yeah, we've got to figure it out Anyway, what have we been up to? Well, I'll tell you what we've been up to We've been filming a lot all that bit super busy period is now sort of just finishing which is nice Some of you might have seen the little jackass promo that we managed to get out. So that was quite a rush New Zealand's not happening. Yeah, Michael and Jillian to met to be in New Zealand They can't go there. They've got called off like three days before that would you to leave which is devastating So they have to stay here now and they don't know when they're gonna be able to go over It's really hard to get refunds Second time that we had to rebook it. Yeah, they've been on holiday mode twice and both times it's fallen through So it's yeah, it's not a good feeling when you think you're going away and then you're not I Can only imagine mate What happened to you with Paris? Yeah, I did Fuck fuck aside from that. What did we do on the weekend? Well, we got high with our friends and had a bit of a fun time. Yeah, holy shit. We giggled a lot We played some sport right now. There's a Ned's video out and then Matt was in yeah We post that tomorrow brown. Oh, wow. Yeah, you're in that. Remember. Yeah, you were the rest in that How was that? Was that terrifying being in a video? Yeah, I was in a little adrenaline rush. Yeah, see Matt's in a fucking public video Yeah, you go see Matthew. I wasn't peer-pressured the boys even the right up to the last very second I was said you don't want to do it. I don't have to we didn't force him out. You're very nice Exactly exactly Matthew Well, this episode man, we got a lot going on. Let me tell you two or three things that we got happening All right, we got a little we got fucking We got prank haul We got questions And yeah, man Podcast is also it has a few sponsors. I'm not gonna lie to you. Okay. I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you guys All right, let's do the diary I Man scaped and if you want to buy any male grooming products, all right Just go to manscape.com and use your discount code fully actual 20 and you get 20% off across the board Whatever you want to buy 20% off. Okay, you spend $1,000 you get 200 off and that's half a bag So you do the math. Yeah, fuck. That's pretty good. Yeah It's not bad I got heaps cool shit. We use it and no complains Just be careful though because the tremors can still nick your ball so it's happened to Matt Is our other sponsor which is our subscription website the University of Michael where we post an episode every week It's like 30 to 40 minutes long of all the behind-the-scenes shit and just videos that are so fucked up and gruesome that we cannot post Them anywhere Michael and I covered in blood because today we filmed a website video where we glued Superglue thumbtacks to squash balls and drove them into each other using golf clubs man. It's no joke It was horrifically painful. It was scary shit. Remember Matt Yeah, I have any safety gear and those blood everywhere. I remember when we kicked the soccer ball Marty's hand. Oh man. I thought one got stuck in me for a bit. I had a huge lump But then it was just blood a fucking drill one straight into his shin bone and then a huge line I was like, oh, you've had a bit broke off there There could be I reckon still just like the the pin bits in and the blood So in the blood rushing and then it just catches me in and catches into an artery and then it'll work It's way through your body. Yeah Like we we didn't even clean the wounds. Yeah, my bloodied wounds are still all bloody. I like to just save it for the shower What's the point of having two showers a day? Yeah, I was just gonna clean it without a shower Like wipe it down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, don't do that. Okay. Fuck it. Let it bake All right, let's um get into the fucking diary entries and Matt. Yeah Yeah, you know Sorry, sorry that you had to go through all these things All right, I'm starting to really see You've had it rough man. No, it's sexy. I think it's sexy Matt's like, you know like a bad boy. That's what Matt is. He's like a sexy bad boys naughty boy He wears black leather jackets and listens to rock and roll. Yeah, maybe we should stop Said all of your victims Oh Diary entry number 132 from Michael Clory Brookhouse today. I pulled my foreskin back for the first time in my life I found a light green paste that smelled of the dirty parts of Bali I Smeared it to the side and began digging with my pinky finger I found an old five cent piece a hair tie and the fingernail of a boy I used to date I Added a few more items and pulled my foreskin back up now when I check again in ten years It will be like a time capsule. See Well, I don't know don't agent me must be in high school there. Okay, when did you first go to Bali? I know Yesterday must have been Thailand. I must get it confused because I'd only been to Thailand as a child Unless this was a recent one Maybe it could be Direction number 101 from Marty Today was my birthday Mum gave me some clean drinking water and dad kept telling me I had to earn my gift and pointing to his penis I don't have a birth certificate because my parents lost it. So no one really knows how old I am But doctors think I'm between 15 18 years old. Also. I'm slowly losing vision in my left eye It's turning a white color. Hopefully it's nothing. It was a pretty good day Well, you know the range Oh Fuck that's good diary entry number 69 from Julian James Tennyson Woods from Ash Grove 460 till I die Today me and the boys went on the skate park on our scooters I didn't do any tricks But I went heaps fast around the at skirts of the skate park and all these chicks were like fuck Who's that can he's gone so fast? I did a mad skid and swear the cheeks thought I was so sexy I didn't get to fuck any but they know me as that real fast going the scooter now So I won't be long boys. Hi you stab grab feel pissed up Like a scooter trick or something. Yeah, I'm maybe Oh Dari number 889 from Matthew Gregory Brown It was 2 a.m. And I was tucked away in a thick hedge a Rise smile crept onto my face as I watched a mosquito land on my forearm and begin sucking my blood It itched, but it also excited me I watched as the mosquito quickly died as my blood is half semen I was snapped back into my situation when I heard footsteps I froze and managed to catch a glimpse of the lady. I had been observing My little brown instantly stood tall and erect the lady with the lady would have to walk directly by me to get to her Car well within arms reach which is exactly what I wanted She got closer and closer and my eyelids peeled back further and further my heart was beating so fast. It was humming Just as the lazy lady was about to walk past my part of the hedge a possum leapt out onto the footpath The lady saw it and froze anger instantly overwhelmed me Why does this fucking possum have to arrive right at this moment? It's had all night to appear and it chooses this moment my Moment the possum remained where it was chewing on some scraps The lady then took a wide berth and walked around the possum and well at a breach of my trap Rage bubbled inside my head and I could feel my body start to shake Fucking possum the lady safely got to her car and my plan was ruined I did not dare reveal myself though and waited for her to drive away all the while Fantasizing that destroying that little possum as soon as the lady was out of eye shot my arm shot out of the edge and Grabbed that fucking possums tail hard it turned immediately and bit down on my hand I stood up out of the hedge still squeezing that possums tail as hard as I could it was fighting hard for its life Scratching me deeply. I pinned it down with one hand and began raining haymakers down on it with my other fast Heavy blows left the possum lifeless within seconds. I continued to punch it I had to release my rage after its skull was liquefied. I stopped punching and ripped it in half Fucking possum I left it on the footpath as a warning to any other possums in the area to stay away Finally satisfied. I begin bounding backwards down the street and back to my lair That's the last time a rodent comes between me Very demonic at the end. Yeah, what do you Just imagine channel just how it's written. You can just tell from the font he's satanic symbols I Really liked you must have a high pain tolerance if you can take a possum scratching you would make me Yeah, but you know when you're so full of rage, you don't really you know, I feel the pain touched. I can see that tree Yeah, feel any pain. So he sort of was Scrunching its tail and then it was turned around and latched on and then you pressed it down on the footpath I imagine and then just started like hammer fists at all. I Don't know straights straights and yeah, that would have been devastating for the possum Yeah, funny. That's a funny one So it's a pretty good one. I mean I laugh when I read that out loud Quite a quite a deep chuckle. So no that it's fine. It's okay I'm dealing with it. I used to live with possums so I can tolerate them much more than you Matt You haven't heard the possum stories. No, one of my many garages that I used to live in growing up Growing up that would be mighty. This is in my 20s Every night at 1 a.m. A possum would go past like Sort of like the ceiling like along the ceiling there Sort of a meter but above my head and above my bed and it would kiss at me a Fucking he lived in a garage Matt he chose to save money and Then possums were his roommates Dude, they when they have sex they squeal real weirdly and it's during the day. What sounds is it? James did the noise really well the other Yeah, you know that sound that's possums one night a fucking possum because they had babies So the possum would like take it on its back Like a backpack and one time it slipped and the possums fell onto my bed as I was Fucking Flipped this is it like pitch black. This is like 1 a.m. Yeah, I didn't have any lights down there And I'm just feeling that Something landing on your bed knowing its possums and I fucking just thought of a cat I flipped the sheet up and felt it fly, but I thought it landed back on the bed as I got up So then I flipped the mattress Like the first night this I stayed in this garage That's when we had to sort of get to know each other and I woke up to it screaming at me And then we begin to like develop a relationship and it would tolerate me So he just start to walk past my head and we just stare at each other like I was I started sleeping with the light on after that I thought it was the boys playing a prank on me. Have you lasted there? I would fucking me Had no I was just I had the saving money to sleep with a light on though I'd rather just like get a tent and sleep outside or something. Yeah, well fuck Literally the amount of spiders that were in that garage. I probably should have got a tent There's possums. What do they do with spiders? Surely they'd run into a few of them spiders Probably can't bite through the fur. Isn't that right Matt? Yeah Well, the thing that sucks with mine is they'd make their webs during the nighttime So I'd get up out of bed in the morning and walk Fucking web and they're huge like wolf spiders. It's just it was a bad time I've lived in a lot of garages man. They have a basement. Yeah, like this is luxury compared to what I've had So high five me. We're moving up in the world everyone Yeah, I can I can see why you hate possums Sorry, but well, I can see what it Ruined your trap. What are the chances? You what we're gonna do like grab out and grab our ankle or something she walked past I just wanted to hiss that a little bit. Oh, I scare her a bit Okay, oh No, it's not All right, let's move on with these questions Because they're important and remember if you Want us to answer your question Comment it on our Marty and Michael fully actual YouTube channel and the questions with the most likes are the ones that get answered Okay, so go have a scroll through like the ones that you want us to answer We will try and answer some ice locks. All right, and remember if you can't afford to go to manscaped or to fucking Subscribe to our subscription website please The least all we ask is that you'd like and leave a comment if you can't think of a comment just comment comment or the best Okay, it's pro or con We just want as long as the podcast still is growing then we're happy I even know it's a very slow grind at the moment because none of our videos ever get recommended to anyone on YouTube Because they are all demonetized. It is literally all word of mouth and fucking Like it is it is a fucking grind, but we're fucking getting there cunt Maybe we should just be nicer. Yeah, maybe we should do an episode where we try and get we should do an episode Trying to get an episode monetize Be no swearing it would be a tough challenge, and I think we could all do it. Wouldn't that be a fun challenge fuck off? It's like this cunt from play school In some over happy enthusiastic teacher. Yeah, you know that I hated that they all got fun They all get for drugs all those play school actors. They literally got all got done for coach. I went and saw Monica live She's one of the famous ones. I had a big crush on it. I was four years old So he had crushes at four years old. I think so. Did you want to crush her back didn't know about that? But I just thought maybe like that motherly love. I wanted her to look after me But you knew that you needed to do something to it well now in hindsight is getting older I remember that Monica was hot. I Didn't remember having memory like four or five like rolling around under a bed with a girl when we're having like a Playdate and thinking like oh, I kind of like her. Yeah, just let your instincts take over Yeah, it's weird because when you're in primary school, you're like a different to the boys You are fully into like you've got this little crush on girls like remember kissing catch and shit Yeah, yeah, you'd always pretend you didn't like playing it, but deep down you're like, I have to play this I really want to kiss or like when you go to like parties like Girls houses and you play spin the bottle and this is like year five you six But you got to act like you're not into it or you're not into anyone because you don't want them to know that You like them Anyway, this is just past stories of me if you want to get really fucked up. This is like year one or year two I remember we had like I think we said this on the podcast But we had like a group and we had a cubby house because we lived in a national park and we had all this bushland And the cubby house had this this punishment if you did wrong by the the gang Then you get your hands pulled behind Behind the tree and you you get dacked So you got your dick exposed and then the only girl in the group Would punch your dick Like she would just stand there and punch your dick. What did you grow up depends on how what you did wrong? I think like me and this kid stole like money because we had this little tin For our gang who's like where we kept our money and place some weird games. Anyway. Yeah And so depending on the punishment you'd get certain amount of punches But I would get in trouble on purpose. You'd be a bad boy. I'd be a bad boy Because then I Could get punched. How old was this girl? She would have been year one. Oh, I was year one. She would have been your kindergarten So you're attempting to get a hand job from a girl in kindergarten is what you did but I was a kid too So it was okay, and it's not really a hand job. It's like It hurts. Yeah, that's if you punch enough you'd probably come So you that's true. Yeah, do you think about that still when you wank? No, no, no, but it has come like fuck. Is that why? Like why the fuck did that happen as a kid? Like that's strange. It's not normal to get punched in the dick by someone Yeah, you got punched in the dick by a kindergartner It's such a weird thing to happen, right? Is that that on tinder put that on your tinder profile? Yeah, I got punched. Holy shit. I can say I've been punched in the dick by a kindergarten No, probably tell them when it happened to no, no, no, no, no, no, no details schmetals. I always say Look at that stare. Anyway fun fucking childhood stories. First question is from uh, Ronak Do you guys plan on making a dedicated Studio place to create the podcast in the future. Yeah, fuck. No, that's what you do God, I'd love to have a big old place just for the podcast with air conditioning Like a nice table some lights that work a couple of different camera angles A toilet that's not covered in shit. Yeah. Oh, I just set up the uh Golf in the toilet today. Thanks to nicky. There's toilet golf now. So things are improving Ha ha ha ha Little joke What are you fucking doing matt? What the- man, I looked over and matt's doing this That What are you blowing the air down? What the fuck are you doing matt? There was a little bug there. Oh I do that too. No, I get that. I didn't want to kill him speaking of fucking bugs Man, we've been fucking I've been fucking this come up with I see it matt The blow works We've been fucking fuck man. It's been a bug war So many bugs in here, right? I hear them Next question is from James Kirk Patrick Um What's the plan for the day you guys reach a million subscribers? What on youtube on youtube for the just another day another dial for the podcast We'll probably have a have a guest on or something. We might have um, lindsay london hand come on. Oh, that'd be good We're gonna have daniel More rat cliff on the table Have him lie down like dan and lindsay can stand over him and wrap him in paper If we hit a mill So if we hit a mill we'll get lindsay london hand on and we'll get her to wrap daniel rat cliff in paper on the table And that is a promise from us to you. We promise you. I swear to god I swear on michael's life. We'll make that happen if we get to a million. Okay. I'll start messaging lindsay tonight I don't think lindsay for the issue would be rat cliff Rat cliff will do as he's fucking told Rat cliff is you're watching this. Fuck you you fucking little pig. I'm coming to see you soon Makes sense it's funny Uh Next question is from rootin tootin pootin That's great. It's great to see Yeah, that pootin follows Um, was there a stunt that you both did thinking it would be about a five on the painstale But ended up being about a 10 on the painstale. Yeah, I think we mentioned at the Magnifying glass tattoo a video attempt. Oh, that's hurt. Oh man. It was like you can't do it unbearable I think we got a thing with getting burnt too. We don't like getting burnt. Yeah fire electricity sucks. So, um Yeah, that was exceptionally and stupidly painful. What else has been really painful that we didn't think was going to be Um fucking Oranges oranges are like it's some pegs and orange at you hard Like trouble. Yeah, it fucking hurts while we're on this James Koch Patrick also asked, um What's worse getting hit with a squash ball a paintball or a golf ball depends what What is what it like if a squad prefer a paintball Over a squash ball from someone hitting with a tennis racket three meters away. What was the third option? Uh golf ball paintball squash ball golf ball probably if it's full swing You're in trouble. Yeah, and but if you're facing your back to them and you can try and protect your spine and head golf is Golf is just very risky. Golf is the most dangerous Squash probably hurts just as much as golf and then paintball is behind golf is is not the most painful But it is the most dangerous because something can go wrong there man You could chip a piece of your pelvic bone off There was one time you hit my Achilles tendon with a golf ball And the shock went all the way up my body. Oh, no What is it dead? Oh We'll just have to pop it up come Um, yeah, so yeah, I'm just fucked that question next one. I'm sorry. No, let's leave that's a good question Leave that in what were we talking about? On with the show gentlemen Oh Next question is from Luke Kearns. Um, will there ever be a diary entry from Jackson O'Doherty? I don't know. I don't think Jackson's the one to keep diary dude. I thought about this the other night we could do For so many people like it doesn't have to be Jackson. Imagine like doing Jadon's Charm is Like he's to the boys. Imagine lockies. Yeah, lockies would be very good diary. Oh, yeah, anyway It's got full potential. So we'll have to try and expand Um We were we were just talking. Um in that bit that got cut that we should we should get our dads on Man, I don't think my dad would come on and we should get them to have like an arm wrestle or something And then we can say my dad's stronger. I reckon my dad would win arm wrestle Matt, what do you say about that? It's a bit disrespectful of a brown family net You're saying your dad's strong. What you got a strong dad. Do you reckon your dad would be my dad? Oh, don't play that game. I reckon my dad I reckon my dad would win in a fight out of your dad's one of the toughest dads I've ever seen around the tough dads your dad's tough man. His dad's tough too though, man If they fought it'd be a tough dad fight. Who do you reckon would win? Who do you reckon would win out of our dad? Man, I haven't seen your dad fight man. I've seen his dad fight. I've seen his dad fight hard man He's dad for other dad your dad's probably trained though. Oh, yeah, and he's got guns His dad has guns. He's not got guns, but yeah, and he it's a fight not a gun fight But my dad won't like he'll go Yeah, your dad will go your dad will go street fighter, man Your dad will go street fighter, man. He's got he's got edge. Can't know rules Matt brown dad Mr. Brown fucks up. Can't he's got weapons. He's got shillings He's got a shilling bomb The shillings got bang and his dad be dead in seconds, man. He's died We've got to get this on we got to get the dad fight on man Well, yeah, they wouldn't do it. I don't think but shilling just in theory my dad. I reckon would win Yeah Yeah, I think he's just a bigger bill. All right, my dad would beat your dad, too Yeah, probably So my dad wins Next question is from we tam What about mums we tam we tam like tam tam we tam Um, Marty, would you ever get a tattoo of bozzly? Yes. Yes. I would I would get his face Detailed detailed as fuck and I would get him from the future So I'd get bozzly if he's 250 years old and I get that piece straight in the middle of my back Like that that get over your face Yeah, imagine bozzly's face on mine Dude, and he's white his tongue going into my mouth. Let's get some bozzly tattoos. I would love to have him on me Yeah, it has he needs to be immortalized Yeah, isn't it? He's needs to be immortalized, isn't it? It's straight up. It's fucking banter. It's just a bit of banter me It's banter, isn't it? Yes, it's just fucking banter. That's literally all I know how to say It's just fucking joking. Fuck it. Let's get fucking mortal Let's get fucking mortal mortal Oh, fuck. Okay. I'm high now. Here you go. I forgot what we were doing, man. Okay. Yeah, next question Um, next question is from Daniel Kalat It's Kalali. Kalali. He at the end is silent Marty What is the full technique to do one of your squirties as I would like to do it at my next family event? You put your hands as close to the hole as you dare And then you pull the cheeks apart But do not let your asshole go loose. Your asshole remains taut the whole time So not at one stage when I begin opening my cheeks, my asshole stays tight and taut Okay, if you relax at any stage during the opening The air will escape and you will have no sound. Do you want that? Do you want no sound then strengthen and tighten that asshole as hard as you can? Okay, doesn't it hurt stretching it? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it hurts the whole fucking thing hurts like hell can't Physically and emotionally as soon as you pull your cheeks as far apart as you can Then you start squeezing like you're shitting You squeeze like you're shitting and then when you get the end of it when you start hearing the sound That's when you pull back Instantly so you can lengthen the fart out as long as you can If you let that sound that initial sound just fucking fly out Your fart will be over in three seconds and you will left you will turn and you know Your friends will have a look of disappointment on their face. Yeah, I'll scar you I fucking put him down a bit when they're not long enough. I must say I have had practices on the couch at night. Okay So I've realized if you get a bit of leverage by using the couch or the ground sort of And they cover half of your asshole. Yeah, it makes a weird longer sound. Anyway. Oh, yeah, that's yeah I can see that working your Your technique at the end is what you do when you start to hear it finish You push so hard. That's when you go the hardest when you go rapid fire When it's the hardest when you're in so much pain you've been holding your breath You've been straining as hard as you can you need to take air in that's when you give it 110 Percent and then you push twice as hard as you've ever pushed and you let everything relax You get the weirdest sounds at the end of them He has created the most incredible shit at the end of them is what gets me sometimes they can be really short But if he puts a peculiar ending in something I haven't heard before or just a really high pitch or Weird rhythm of sounds it gets me on my knees. The ending is what gets them to stay It's true, dude. It is so true But I realized that you have to go hard at the end of it because I've started doing it on the catch If you finish on the same monotone level people will leave man Yeah, dude. Well, yeah. Yeah, it's no longer art. Then it's just fun It's true. You've got to make it long enough for it to be good. It's art. It's fun art. It's fun It's very question very very important. Anyway. Yeah, it's very important fun next question is from peter hunt hunt I wonder if he has any relation to our segment could be Question for the podcast. Are there any training tips for bounding backwards? man I can I can see in my head, but I don't know how I would go about doing it This is where I learned how to bound backwards. Okay. I was watching the movie the mask And there's a scene where he comes out first First time it's a mask and he gets shot at and he bounds backwards out the window of his apartment That's where you're bouncing. Yeah, he bounds. Okay, bounce. You've got to bounce. Holy shit. I thought that was like Movie trickery. I never thought that I was actually you could learn from that. Wow And so once I saw that I started practicing it in my hallway at home. I can picture that Yeah Fuck and now he knows now he's faster than running forwards, right? It's more explosive just depends depends on the weather You can get up to 60 kilometers an hour man. That's like, you know, you you can go on the highway Backwards if you wanted to yeah, and just have some blinkers in your hands to know Oh, you know, you're a you'd be able to see when cars are gonna come near you because you'll be facing them Yeah, so you're safe And you you know your instincts guide you forwards I didn't get it, man Next question is from Haddon Mardi. Have you ever thought about starting a fart bottle? Yeah, it's like it's hard to I would love this We should buy I'm gonna buy a bunch of jars like glass ones So it looks like this shit from the bfg and we're gonna start farting Yeah, and then selling them on our website and then we sell our farts Yeah, I don't think people will really buy them five bucks. Five bucks are fine. That's not bad Oh, I don't think people will buy them, but I would just like to save Like our farts to save it so then we bring them out the following week and we see if it still smells like farts. Yeah, look You'd have to keep a jar with you at all times. No, we'll have jars set up here So instead of you know, we're using this or the fucking Or making music. Let's just get a jar for one of them We'll hold it and then the following week we get to see if the smell stays in the jar It's very important. I think it would I think it would but it would be less intense. Okay. Yeah, still it's very important And I'd like to do that. Why aren't you farting anymore? I've just realized what the fuck it's been like ages Yeah, look, I don't you don't even do it during the day anymore. I can't explain it to you, man They just the fire dry up. You said that Beans mon made beans. Yeah, I fucked you. No, I need to did I have beans today? No, I didn't I got it. I got to try it again. I have can we let's get you doing beans make make sure Tuesdays and our bean day All right. Yeah beans are no beans on the Monday. Oh, we have to hold it through the whole day I think if I do beans for lunch on Tuesday, you'll be good Well, yeah, I'm so excited dude because I miss it. I'm sure they miss it. It's remind me. It's important to have every week Look, it's not I'm not doing this on purpose, you know, and it was affecting my entire future But I want to keep doing that for you It was I was I was getting known as the fart guy I can't wait to see if a fart smells a week later Yeah, that is an exciting experiment and one that needs to be tackled head on by the most esteemed scientists The world has ever seen. All right a couple more questions left. Um, next one is from andy woods Fucking wanker kidding andy Will we ever get to meet matt's brother questin on the podcast? He looks like exactly like you doesn't he matt didn't you say he looks like almost identical questin Yeah, yeah, isn't he a twin? He's got long blonde hair long blonde hair. Yeah, that's right So he looks exactly like matt except he's just got really long beautiful blonde hair I reckon i'm gonna make some texts go around And he's coming on next week. No way next week dude. You got to get a pasty's carer You got to fucking like there's there's loopholes man You can't just go and pick up a crazy guy plus he wants to fuck matt to death I don't really want to see that man And I don't know like I don't know if anyone really wants to see him And then you need to know a bit more about him I would feel comfortable if we had questin on as a guest eventually as long as you weren't here While he was on we'll go into the back room where I go during the um Because I don't want any fucking weird shit starting between you two like honestly, I don't want to see that I don't want to see him them two fucking each other. Okay, and that's like Yeah, I don't want that for you either man. I must that's not nice that your brother, you know, how's that questions moving in Maybe you can you can sleep down here. I can see you on questin fucking hard blonde hair and twint Oh circle puzzle. You're a circle puzzle together That's a sex. All right next one is from Steven Lucia Lucia Lucia Lucifer. Um Maybe marty can answer this because I'd feel like Michael might not tell us But um, where does Michael take his women on a first date? Oh shit. I'm sitting in my shit. Yeah, sorry like the towels come off Oh my god, what a beautiful introduction to the answer to that question What the fuck Um, I reckon well, it depends what the girl what the girl was like, but Michael would just like to um stay at home with her and um Maybe watch some movies and Netflix and chill and then he'd want to get his hands all up, you know Drag it or his little cell. What would he make for dinner here at home? Spaghetti if he was going to make anything, but he'd get Uber Eats for sure And he'd get and he'd get high with her and he'd be a bit like intimidating be quite intimidating That sounds like a shit date being it. Oh, I reckon what if we're going out out for a date, I guess so Probably to a restaurant or a bar or something Yeah, no, they go to they go to a games place get a bowl of chips and then go play games No kangaroo point cliffs Oh, yeah the cafe there. No, you just go on the other edge looking over the cliff and you have drinks there That's cool. The girl fell off there recently Remember that? How did she fall off? She's taken a selfie I'd love to see that selfie Whoops a daisy Is she dead? Yeah, she died She's dead That is fucked up If you don't want to be sitting condolences if anyone anywhere Yeah, we all feel bad for it, but yeah, it's just it would be a funny picture. You know what I'm saying? If anyone's ever been to kangaroo So for anyone who doesn't live in brisbane kangaroo point cliffs is a cliff that looks over the city And then there's like a wall and then on the other side of the wall is probably like a meter gap Where you could actually jump over and stand on the edge, which he's obviously done But yeah, if you come off that it's like a what a hundred meter. No, I'm not a hundred It's probably maybe 20 meters. It's probably like 20 or 30. It's it's quite a big one Yeah, we'll fuck do that. That's the we squeeze this. That's the way to go Oh That squeeze it near me. Yeah It's you want to pop it, don't you after touching final question of the podcast And it comes from Mitchell Lindor's I don't know if that's the last one It is it is. Okay. Um Marty, do you think In a way Michael is your soulmate and Michael the same thing you guys just seem to click perfectly I don't know if there's such things as soulmates, but there's definitely people in the world that you um You know get along Really super well with a very very small percentage of people like, you know to the level at the level At the level you guys are at where you can be yourself. Yeah, so should we got that with all of our little group? Yeah, well, I think once you have that you attract that you know what I'm saying Yeah, it sort of becomes like a group. Yeah, it's the same values So it's easy to find that but yeah, I don't yeah, it's very very rare And definitely their sense of humor that would be even more rare Yeah, how do we do that? Yeah, it was very it's like lucky, but it's good because it's like having a double version of you That you can just kiss Oh whoopsie daisies Oh silly me That you can hang out with and just fucking laugh out as if we made out then I love it I love that there's no like I don't have to worry about bringing anything up Yeah, there's no subject. There's no judgment. Yeah, well look at your fucking diary entry, man Yeah, it's nice, but you are being 100 fucking Good times. It's good to have friends guys fucking be good to your friends Yeah Is that the end of the questions that's the end of question questions went for a long time, hey Sort of questions turns into also talking. Yeah, it's questions and talking Memories it's questions and talking. Maybe that's how we should call it now It's questions into maybe because your questions could lead to talking and that's exciting I mean you can say my Michael start talking from my question. Oh my god. Holy shit. I'm fine I'm fine All right, let's um next one let's let's fucking get into the next segment and it's been renamed Freak For those who can't see what's just happened Michael the fucking clumsy dumb dog Fuck has just snapped his fucking microphone handle Off the table too much movement. All right, man. Here we go He's got all trying to walk past us Oh, look my hands. I got my hands moving voluntarily, brother. I can't be as held responsible For more what my hands might find A little brown Very good The fingers are strong this one Oh Very good very good Oh my god Oh, dude, I don't even know what just happened, man. I don't even know what's going on, man That's the brown standing over Michael literally just laughs at fucking noises if you make a good noise, Michael will always laugh Um, anyway, um on with the show Um, did we get any secrets standing? We got one. Did you say Matt? If it's only one we don't worry. I won't read it out, but if it's only a couple We want to bring this segment back. We feel like it's been a bit Q&A German segment prank cally Let's fucking throw another quick segment in there next week Send us some fucking secrets. I did get one and it's not a bad one, but I'll read it next week Yeah, so send us some fucking if it doesn't have to be your own We won't we don't we won't read your name out loud. Everything's anonymous. So don't stress about anything. All right We got your back. It's money and Michael man. Come on. You can trust us You can trust us us Anyway onto the uh German quiz the German quiz. Um, and so this segment has been renamed Ah And in this segment I uh, I um have a German word That I read and Michael has to guess the meaning there's three different meanings. It could be Have we done this before? No, if he gets it wrong. I get to pinch him as hard as I can New rule or no, there's a new rule Oh Question number one The word is And what's this what are we doing again? You think these could be the three meanings Okay, I get you I get you the end of a loaf of bread a bundle of flowers or art What does Knost mean? Oh, I think I know it. Oh Well, the second two go again a bundle of flowers or art It's the first. Yeah It he's correct. It is the end of a loaf of bread Well done two more. This is just a fun little thing. I've stumbled across on my travels. Let me tell you What if we have here? Oh the lick the fucking lick Ah um The whiskey mixer mixed in whiskey with him whiskey mixer What the fuck anyway Next one is to freebie That's a little side question The next word is Similar to our laugh Which is one of the meanings Could be one of the meanings so to to to that laugh till or ballet skirt to to ballet skirt Michael is correct again everyone. This is outstanding. This is outstanding Ah All right last word. I'm sorry about that Matthew Brown That fell Oh my god Fell on the semen samples that someone sent in to our podcast Nicky sent us that it's for me when I'm in the bar disco. Uh disco disco in the bar disco disco bath Okay, the next and final word is noopsy And this could mean Oopsie It could mean a word used when not knowing the actual word mostly used for small things Or a word used for people that are ignorant and narcissistic. Noopsy The first one You are fucking wrong cunt. You are fucking wrong cunt. You are fucking wrong cunt. And now I must pinch you Oh Dude, it never ever gets easy. I got the end of it. I got the end. There was jumper in the way I had to only get the end. That's what I heard real bad Yeah, dude Back of the arm you used to walk around in high school and you're fucking 11 and 12 with huge bruises all over his triceps Everyone at tennis team I would pinch the fuck out of everyone. Oh, I hate you. It was it suck. It's actually like real early in the morning Never bring that back. I'll be so upset that friendship group will be ruined. I can see that cracking people these days I'll never do that. Remember like with the slap on the back The man would do that. Oh, you wouldn't shit. Yeah. Slap on the backs was so shit Pinchings like you can be sneaky about it. Slap on the backs. Just a bludgeon. Yeah, it's not fun It's christmas time And that's the name of the segment And this is a segment where we just open gifts that you guys have sent to us via our fucking p.o. Box. All right Let's open this one. Hey What do we got here? Hey, fuck it's nearly we got to speed this up. I'm gonna be so late Donut films has sent us another would you like to open that fuck? It's gonna be something fuck He sends a fuck shit like like foot skins. Yeah, you had his foot skin in your mouth. Oh, no Oh, it's gonna be fucked. Maybe let's do that one at the end He even put his little symbol on it so we know there's something moving in there. Yeah. Yeah. Oh What have we asked for he's commented something recently. I don't know. He said he sent you on once Well, there you go. It could be pissed or it could be some golly We'll see I'm so oh look at this It's fucking the cow version of bozzly someone sent a card. Oh, that's cute. Oh, it's so cute Hey Ball bag. So I did message asking what you guys wanted sending this time last time I sent the candy underwear, etc But he said you like the surprise. So I decided to be nice My face normally has fuck off written all over it, but I'm not a bad person Anyway, keep doing what you're doing and much love from Scotland from debbie and her instagram is Deb debbs debbs s t e w a r t And her business name is d s D star so s d s t a r bookings d star bookings if you want to fucking Message her and say fellow ring You done good All right, if you want to book him if you want she should book you what does she do she books? She's booker All right, what do we got here? Oh Oh What the fuck there? Wow. Look at this. We have some Some scotch malt whiskey bow more. I don't know anything about whiskey, but it looks like a really good bottle And then we have a little cow. Oh, I can see a glad wrap bag. That's never a good sign Donut films is a sick sick person who sends us. Oh man. Don't aim it towards us man. Yeah, it could be an exploding thing Oh, I'm nervous. What is it? What is it Michael? I think it's teeth Oh, he sent his teeth. He said he's tea. We have tea. Oh my god someone send their teeth Donut films to send his teeth. Oh, but wait, there's more And a pig's here for bars. Fuck. I wish he was here tonight Holy shit, dude. Thank you for the fucking tea. That's cool, man. We got sent teeth. Yeah I wish we could put all the shit fucked up things we've been sent together and try and make a person soon Is it ever since he sent the foot skin all the kids at school have been begging him to send more Oh Now he's a foot tooth guy All right, here he is That's what he looks like Fucking donut films. I knew you looked like this in my dreams. What's wrong with him. What do you mean? He's just a dude. He's not even 18 yet. He's a child who sends us teeth and skin I want a legend. I thought he was like 40 that guy has a fucking big future Yeah, donut films don't films if you want to do social media message us. Where do you live? Tell us where you live Should we do something with the teeth? Yeah, man. We're gonna swallow them You should do a trip over on the in the in the oh, they're so fucked. They're so fucked looking, dude They're freaking me out. I want to have a good look at these like who? Oh, it's some fucking fingernails Yeah, fingernails are mixed in with it Oh my god, man Eat he wants us to eat them. Oh, who the fuck has still has their teeth. They'll be baby teeth, right? I don't know. Oh, yeah, maybe some. Yeah. Yeah Oh I can't I'm not I'll put your foot skin in my mouth Imagine chewing teeth. Oh like maybe if I was drunk, I wouldn't we grind them up and snort them Let's tooth in my blood if I was drunk right now. I reckon I would have swallowed one I reckon you'd eat them all out like little rock candies. Yeah, because you don't really taste it. You just swallow Oh, that's another testines up. Maybe yeah in the future. We might pull the teeth out That's another ripper for the fucking table. Thank you very much donut films. Thank you, dude. Good man All right, let's fucking move straight along because there is no time left Oh, no, where's it all gone? It's time for the prank call. So fucking here you go come It is time for the prank call Fucking hell man. This one is gonna fuck shit up. What are you doing again? I'm calling a clothes store. Yeah And I'm being like, oh, I think the chick forgot to take more tags off the clothes Yeah, if I come in, can you take them off for me? That's what I'm gonna say implying that I've stolen the Matthew Brown What are your bets that they'll say something like did you steal it? Or do you reckon they won't question it? Are you talking to me? I'm not sure. Were you? Are we all like here right now? Yeah. All right. Well, I'm gonna start the prank call then if that's all right If that is that okay? It's been a long podcast I'm fucking down come I'm fucking down. I'm down. I'm down. Oh, yeah, I'm down Wait, sit down man. I'm down down to that's leaving down to man. I'm down. I'm down My name is Darren Thompson come There you go. Yes. Um, I'll come in last week and um got like a couple of pair sunnies and a couple of shirts and that Um, and and the chick I um got him off. Um, she must have forgot to take those. Um, you know those little tag things on Yeah, yeah, she must have forgot to take them off cause like I um put them out of the um the bag And um, they still got that on them. So if I come in, um, can you like take them off and that? Yeah, of course. As long as you have like the receipt Yeah, she I don't know what I've done with a receipt lock. I don't usually hang on an email to you Yeah, no, no, I don't gotten an email on that. So it would have been like Yeah, but we have to find the proof of purchase there What if you use um, what if you can't find and that can you still like just like if I just come in Someone just just take some straight off and I'll just fucking get out of there. Is that is that something you do? Or should I just call like another city beach or something? Where what are those machines called that like take them tags off? What's that? What's that called that machine? Do you know like tag them over or something? No, I'm not sure Yeah, right because like um like what if I like go to another store and that because honestly like I don't know if You just find a receipt for it and that because like it was a long time ago, right? And it was so busy that day. Like there's like I reckon like dirty people or something in there That's okay. There's like numerous of them that don't have like we can find it with those items Yeah, I think like there was something wrong with the machine and that that day too because like the girl saying like Oh, there's something wrong. Like I heard her saying something to her like other staff Saying like oh, there's something wrong with machine and that and it wasn't like printing Receipts and that and like other people in front of me even said they're like, oh like Like annoyed and that because they don't have receipts if they like want to get a refund and that so like I was in on that day When the machines are down for a bit. So like yeah, I seriously like, I don't know if he's gonna be able to find it So like we definitely would be able to find it. Yeah, right. Well, um, look, I'll come in I'll bring the stuff in but if we can't find it like if we can't find the receipt in that I'm sweet to just like get out there, right? Yeah, but what I'm saying is like if I come in with like the sunnies and the shirts and that Um and use can't find like the receipt I'm sweet to just get straight out straight out there and jump back on the bus go straight home It's just I don't want to go all that way in And like just have the bloody tags still on there You know like I want to wear the sunnies, but they got that bloody tag on them and they and the bloody shirts got It just looks shit, you know, I don't know why he's put them on there Like it's like so like big and that and then someone's forgotten to take it off and now it's like my problem You know, it's like I shouldn't have to like, um get traded like that and that Do you know what I mean? Can you just like Send send me like a machine like you surely we cannot sorry Yeah, but like, you know, I'm saying like like it's like it's now it's my problem, right? And you guys you guys got the bloody Yeah, but like if you just won't do nothing if you just can't find like the receipt in that like He's don't need to like he's don't need to like call like nothing You don't need to call no cops and that if we can't find proof of Receiving that because the machines were down that day. I do remember someone saying that I do remember that So he's like that's all sweet. Like I'll come in right with the tags and if you can't find the receipt What you still leave the tag on then Yes Oh, so I've come all the way in the city all the way from a gnarler To catch two buses all the way the city and then like I can't even it's not even guaranteed that my tags come off Do you know what I mean? Um, yeah, but like like I said, but like it's surely used like lots to receive before Surely use of lost receipts before it kind of use use muscle Oh, um, it's happened before like I've come in before and the and the dude there said like, oh, sorry I can't find your receipt like he said that to me before so it's like I'm like Well, can you try and have a look for it now then? Uh, what's where do you find the barcode on? If you it's just like two buses and that you know rather just like what if What if like deserve like can I get like a hammer and something or just knock them off or like has to be the machine Um Well, this is like this is pretty unfair, you know, I mean like I've got to come all the way in now because you just put Them bloody tags on them. It's like take that shit off. You know what I mean? It just makes everyone take so much longer And then one of yous on a busy days forgets to take them off and now I'm fucking up Now I'm not now I'm all fucking fucked up or fucking sitting around home Trying to go out for bloody dinner with me miss on when I've got fucking tags all up me gullet running down me back and Try to put some sunnies on this fucking tagging me. I can't even see right now So tagging my right now my left eye There's a fucking tag dangling down and like I literally can't even fucking open it Can't fucking I'm running down me Then I miss from saying so I'll come in right but if yous can't take the tags off like I'm gonna I'm gonna have to blow bloody blow up and that you know me like it's bloody unfair like He's treating me like cattle. He's treating me like cows and that like hurting me ranting that night Oh, what fucking oh good. Oh good life. Oh good life. Oh good family. I'm young son Yeah, I completely understand your frustration. Um, if you come in, we'll be able to find the Receipt here and we'll be able to take the tag off. All right, but no cops, right? And if we can't find the receipt I'll I'll I'll need on you. He's gotta just fucking take him off. All right Like there's nothing else I can fucking do. He's gotta take him off if I'm coming in I don't want to go home with fucking tags on me shirts again because I've got nothing to wear right now Right, it's fucking laundry day my fucking mum's been busting her ass fucking watching me Fuck and there's like tag my eye and there's a couple hanging off the fucking shirt And I'm fucking look like a fucking povo fucking dog Running down fucking tags. I mean fucking shirts and sunnies and the fucking tags will open the fucking Fuck it don't I can't bloody rip my mother fucking shirt. No, I'm sorry. I'm up No cops No cops. No cops. All right, sweet self. I'll come in. There'll be no cops waiting for me in that He's this isn't fucking stitch up. I've got your word I've got what's your name So, okay, so I'll know I'll go and come in ask for Alice and no one else don't say nothing No one else, right? I'll fucking pull you side Alice and we'll fucking we'll find that fucking receipt or whatever you fucking need And we'll bloody we'll take these off or right else. Don't say a word to nothing All right, don't they'll fucking they'll fucking dog me in. I can't fucking get done. You understand? I can't get done I can't go back. Do you understand what I'm saying? All right, so we'll just do it on the slide. Don't say nothing to no one Okay, just pretend you're talking of some some other customer. All right, my name's down I'm fucking coming in right now. All right. I'm coming in hot All right, Alice. I'll see you in about Maybe maybe half an hour or something. How's that? All right, Alice I love you to pieces. I love you Alice and I'll see you soon. You're a bloody good bird You're a bloody good bird. I love you I love you Alice See you later Oh my god, dude I love you, Alice That was very good. I think I hate down He is a piece of shit, but he's an absolute scumbag. That's for sure But dude that was very good very very good It's hard to know where to go when they just say, you know, it's like you can't fucking Oh, you know what I mean? She was she was very professional. Like how could you not get angry? Yeah, I would have hung up long before. I'm sorry. I can't help you At least gotten angry like he's making it so obvious that he has he has stolen from vow Yeah, she wouldn't give a fuck, but I think yeah, some people would she was very very chill compared to some well done, Alice Handled that very professionally Well done, Alice All right guys, that's the end of episode number 20 fucking five count Holy That means we've done a hundred and five now 110 percent. Don't forget to fucking Comment a question drop a like hit that fucking thumbs up and don't forget to sus cry, brother Like the golly bottle episode. Yeah, like the golly. I'm to be honest. I've given up a bit It's like it's on one point fucking one We need to get to three someone commented saying that she's really concerned if I am to oh, yeah, I've got that comment That's like If fermenting all that bad bacteria, like I'm gonna get sick So exactly, so I don't think I didn't get it down. I just swirl it in the mouth like mouth Gargle it off gargle it a bit But anyway, yeah, I think maybe too many people think it's too gross and they don't actually want to see it That could be a bit. Well, how about we fucking do like Comment sense. We gave a comment if if you're pro golly from a comment pro if you're con Comment con so pro golly and con golly We want to see a fucking and we'll put a fucking poll up. I know we can't yet. Can we on the instagram until you get to 10k I'm pretty sure yeah until 10k, but that's okay. We can do a poll ourselves off of the comments Do you fucking sexy? Can't Me Oh, that is the end of episode number 25. Thank you for watching. We'll see you all next week. We are the best We're the best We're the best We're the best We're the best Oh my god, I nearly passed out man. That was vicious That was a vicious shit, man. Holy shit. I was like the closest to actually passing out of ever come Disappeared out. I get that. I want to try and stand up too quickly your heads out of frame We're the best You're out of you're like way out of frame We're the best anyway, so fucking that's that