 The maxim that misery loves company is so suited to toxic people. Most of us have such people in our lives who wallow in their problems and love to drag us in with them. Toxic people naturally look for holes in issues and can stir up conflicts just to prove they are right and you are wrong. Instead of intelligently seeking ways to reach a consensus, toxic people are contented arguing and debating about why you should be crucified and they should be exonerated. Toxic people take a lot of time and energy to create a necessary complexity, strife and worst of all stress. You must be emotionally intelligent to deal with them. It's possible that you may have people like this in your life as a coworker or as a partner. It may be difficult to get away from them. However, you must realize how negatively toxic people impact the emotions of those around them. All in all, as much as it matters what they do to you. What matters most is your own self-talk, how you talk to yourself can intensify the negative emotions or heal you faster from the effect of toxic people. If you've ever had a toxic coworker or have lived with a toxic person, you must figure out ways to never let them negatively affect your performance. This is why you need emotional intelligence to deal with toxic people. Emotional intelligence gives you the ability to see through the tricks of toxic people and help you to create defenses you need to stay safe emotionally and psychologically. If you want to stop the manipulative effect of toxic people in your life, here are clever ways you can handle them. 1. Employ a strong support system. If you're emotionally intelligent, having a strong support system will make it difficult for toxic people to control or influence you. A strong support system will counter all of their toxicity. Why? Well. Because toxic people want to isolate you before you can control them. When you have a strong support system, it becomes difficult for them to do so. If you meet with your support system as often as possible, they can easily know when something is wrong and so, give you the nudge you need to continue strong and not be negatively affected. Your support system will eventually encounter that toxic person soon. First, they will defend you against the toxic person. They can also show you where you are going wrong in handling the person and redirect you on how to deal with them in the future. Because toxic people tend to make you feel like you are nothing, your support system can show you that you are important, relevant and not crazy. 2. Leverage defined unbreakable boundaries. People who are emotionally intelligent set boundaries that help save them from the psychological harm toxic people can cause. The kill of the toxic person from affecting your life set boundaries right from the beginning. When you establish boundaries, it limits the toxic person's relationship with you and lets them know how close they can be to you. The toxic person knows not to go too far and you also can know when to withdraw when the other person is overstepping their boundaries. 3. They choose when to engage wisely. Always, people who are emotionally intelligent understand their energy level and so quickly identify people who make them feel used or tired. Toxic people will tend to suck every bit of energy from you. Mostly because they are needy, angry or have fears they are trying to hide. Emotionally intelligent people choose their interactions with this kind of people wisely. Since toxic people love to argue and even put the heat on to fight because of their desire for attention, emotionally intelligent people know this and know when to avoid such people. 4. They forgive but don't forget. Emotionally intelligent people definitely do not hold onto grudges because they know how much that affects them emotionally. Instead, when hot by toxic people they forgive but draw the line of interaction with such people. Since hate will only eat them up and not the toxic person who may have caused the hate, emotionally intelligent people let go of the hate but never let that toxic person cross the line with them ever again. They forgive but never forget because forgetting gives the toxic person room to repeat what they have done. Emotionally intelligent people create a boundary that a toxic person is never allowed to cross. 5. They ignore attention seekers. Toxic people want attention at all cost even if the Godrain isn't about them. They force attention on themselves by choosing to talk their way through every conversation or interrupting others while they talk. They always want to be heard and if they are not heard or they are ignored they can tend to act destructively or drastically. To have good social interaction one must allow others to talk. When a toxic person is seized and being heard alone amongst a group the best move is to ignore such a person and focus on the people who are more accommodating and receptive to our conversations in the group. 6. They do not trust or share secrets with gossips. Because toxic people can be so manipulative they can share personal secrets with you just so they can win you to their side. They can go as far as sharing other people's issues with you, backstabbing or gossiping about them to you. While they may be doing this because they want you to agree with them and find some interest in them they would just as much equally backstab and gossip about you to that other person. That way between you two they would make themselves look good while you look bad. Don't accept this trick played by toxic people. If anyone can backstab others before you they will backstab you before others. 7. They spend a lot of time with trustworthy and loyal friends. Emotionally intelligent people know that not everybody is worthy of their friendship and they don't have to be friends with everyone. They understand the impact of friendship instead of allowing toxic people as their friends they build a network of loyal and trustworthy people. They don't readily offer their friendship to just anyone who backstabs and gossips about them seeking attention. But once they find friends who are loyal and trustworthy, emotionally intelligent people also reward them with the same loyalty and trustworthiness. 8. They avoid manipulative people. Toxic people are naturally manipulative and manipulative people will only mess up your life. They want to get under your skin, twist your feelings so you can act in a certain way to promote their own agenda. It is best to avoid such people totally. If you feel strong and inconsistent emotions when such people are around you, if you feel irritated, angry, sad or utterly inadequate or if you find yourself constantly questioning why they might have said something, you might want to consider that they are toxic people who are trying to manipulate you. Run for your life, dear friend. 9. They do not get involved in petty feuds and drama. Toxic people love to be right and so they always tend to get into arguments just to prove it. When they are in arguments, they want everyone involved. They don't mind throwing it all in the public when an argument breaks out because they want people around them to peek aside. Verified involves too toxic people. They do not want you to sit on the fence. You must choose a side. The best way out is to choose to do nothing. Say nothing and let them know it is not your business what they have gotten themselves into. 10. They ignore insults. If the attention isn't toned on them, toxic people can tend to pass subtle insults to you. Insults may be so veiled that you will not be able to detect when you are being insulted. Statements like, you look beautiful on Tuesdays. I couldn't say something like, but then it's you. You're just natural at not being funny. These statements may seem simple but are veiled insults cleverly disguised to manipulate your emotions. Don't fall for them. 11. They indulge self-pity in people. Toxic people love to exempt themselves from responsibilities so they would put on a show of self-pity so they can manipulate you into pitting and exempting them. They tell stories about why they give you their best results because they are not strong and why they earn strong because they are born that way. They tell some stories to avoid responsibility. Toxic people will always have a reason why they have failed of which they cannot control it. They would expect you to take responsibility due to them. If you don't, you are as evil as those people who messed up your lives, they would say. Of course, you should pity people but you must also be able to draw the boundary when a person makes it into a habit to shove their sad stories as an excuse for shirking responsibilities. 12. Emotionally intelligent people demand straight answers to their questions. Toxic people will hardly give straight answers because they do not want to commit or have to be cross-examined later. They will give vague answers that will mislead you. They do this because they want to keep back information. The best way to deal with them here is to ask them questions that require a yes or a no. So this way, they can't get away from answering straight. 13. Emotionally intelligent people will tell them when they are at fault. Emotionally intelligent people will hardly ever accept they are wrong even if you push them to a corner. They will always want to do what it takes to push the blame on something or someone else. Even when it is clearly a guilty, they can justify their actions by bringing up something somebody else has done. To put them in their place, you must clearly state their fault and call them out, never accepting whatever excuse they give as to why it isn't their fault. This is to help them grow and become better persons. If this video has helped you build emotional intelligence, subscribe to this channel for more videos. We love you.