 Hey guys, this is Mary Lee Johnson here with the 21 Convention 2014. Greg Swan, you just had your 2014 talk. It was so good and so incredible, and I say that for a couple of people, but for his I really mean it. It was really, really good. I wanted to ask you first before I ask you about this talk. Other people might not have seen it. I'd love for you to elaborate on Mr. Maybe. I wrote a book called Father's Day earlier this year, and I talk about three different kinds of fathers in that book. Mr. Married is the ideal father, the father who's going to have the group photo with their children, their grandchildren, maybe three or four great grandchildren. Everybody's happy to be a part of that family. They're all still together. That's the ideal family from my point of view. The other two fathers in the book are Mr. Maybe and Mr. Divorced, and in the current marital circumstance, a father that we used to know, who used to be fairly common, Mr. Stick It Out, really doesn't have a chance that if you're Mr. Maybe and you don't step it up and become Mr. Married, then you're going to be Mr. Divorced, and if you're Mr. Divorced, you're going to lose your marriage, obviously, but you're going to lose your home. You're going to lose access to your children. Your life is going to turn into a desperate miserable thing. You may recover from it. I certainly did. I'm happily married for the second time, but I want a lottery ticket, and I don't recommend this as a strategy to think, well, if I screw this up, I can marry somebody just as good. No, chances are you won't. Therefore, my argument to men is do step up, live up to your promises, establish yourself as the moral leader of your family, and follow through. Become Mr. Married, because this is how Mr. Married leads his family, is by leading them, by being the moral leader for his wife, for his children, and for himself. And taking your moral responsibility as a man, as a husband, and a father seriously makes perfect sense to me. And I comment this having been Mr. Maybe more than once through one marriage that I destroyed and destroyed a family, but also through my second marriage, through a substantial part of my second marriage, but frankly, every romantic relationship I've ever had in my life. I was Mr. Ghanabi, I was Mr. Driven, I was Mr. Mann with the plan while we were courting, and as soon as things settled down into a committed relationship, then I started to withdraw and started to let things go, let things slide, and when that happens, Mrs. Maybe gets more and more afraid, because she's not getting what she bargained for, and she's not sure how she's going to weather this calm, it's not really a storm, this calm of indifference or seeming indifference, this withdrawal, this distance, this lassitude. And my attitude is if you don't want your marriage to be screwed up, and I said this to a whole bunch of guys, young guys who haven't yet married, guys who are married now, guys who have been through divorce and are contemplating what they're going to do the next time through, if you don't want it to be screwed up, live up to the guy you were when you were courting, just follow through. And when you were talking about being a moral leader, you're not talking about living up to religious ideals. Not necessarily. If you are religious, I don't object to that. I don't tell people what to think or what to do or how to choose. I was talking to Jolly about this, I don't know if I should mention him or not, but the photographer for the 21 convention is a Sikh by tradition and by preference, but not necessarily by religious belief. But he admires the Sikh philosophy and he upholds it to the extent that it makes sense to him. There are a whole lot of religious people who are religious in that way. They may or not not necessarily be terribly theistic, but they grew up in a family tradition, a religious tradition, and they continue to honor it. Having a serious committed moral philosophy of any nature is preferable to not having one or to being haphazard, catch-a-catch-can or making excuses for your moral failures. I really don't care what your moral philosophy is. I care about how serious you are about it. I don't care what you believe. I care what you choose to do. And if your behavior is exemplary, then it doesn't matter how you got there. If you behave well, if you behave admirably, then I admire you and I admire the choices you're making and I admire the standards you're living up to. That's such a hard thing because I know that you're an atheist by choice, but you don't present that to anyone. You don't try and convert anyone. And I don't argue with people about it either. The obnoxious atheist is just another kind of religious zealot as far as I'm concerned. I do not care for that behavior. I think that's bad behavior. I would never presume to tell somebody else what to think because, frankly, I'm not going to bear the consequences of your choices. You're going to choose for whatever reason you choose, whatever choice you make is fine with me because I'm not going to suffer the consequences one way or another. But I'm certainly not going to take responsibility for the choice. You're not going to blame me for the choice you made. You can blame God or you can blame your parents or you can blame your wife. You can blame anybody you want, but you're not going to blame me because I'm never going to tell you what to do. I'll tell you what I think. I'll tell you what I do and I will defend my positions. When I think it necessary to defend a position, I will defend it to the best I'm able, but I will never tell anybody what to do. I don't should people is the way I say it. I will talk about what I think is intelligent, the strategies that make sense to me, but I don't should people. You're responsible for shooting yourself. That's, it's, it's just so refreshing to hear something like that where somebody doesn't come from a stance of this is what I believe and then this is what's right and this is the only thing that's right. Right. You're wrong. I'm right. And that's the way it is. I don't believe that. I certainly don't let anybody say that to me. And I in the book, Charlie's Delight, which I talked about in my talk today, I didn't really talk so much about the book as just as compared with the content of the book. I'm lost. I spoke for an hour and it wears me out. This is Dr. Doug McGuff was talking about what happens to your brain under stress and so you should watch that video. Oh, it's gonna be I will tell you, since you mentioned this, that my strategy in giving my talk today, in addition to everything else I was doing was that I was mentioning every other speech that I thought was worthwhile because I think they're worthwhile and because I think you should see them, but also because I want my video to be processed first. And by mentioning all these other speeches that I can build interest in all these other speeches and hopefully I'll get my video produced first. I don't remember where I was going. No, refreshing refreshing not to should people. I don't remember how I got there where I was going. So that's great. Go elsewhere. This has been barely Johnson with the 21 convention here with Greg Swan. And you heard it first, his video will come out first. You will see that before any other video. Well, I hope that I hope that's the case. But if it's not I will not resent it in any way at all. I admire the 21 convention beyond all measure. I admire what Anthony Johnson's done. I admire you personally. I am very impressed with you and Anthony for the commitment that you've made to each other. And I really like to see the way that you work together this weekend to make this come off so well. I like to see you involved in doing videos for the 21 convention. I mean, obviously, you're a delight to look at, but you're also very intelligent and and really a wonderful person to know even if you only know Merrily through these videos, you're getting to know her and she's for women watching if there are 10 or 15% women watching the videos maybe more watching Merrily's videos. Merrily is a moral exemplar. She's a good example for women to live up to. And so I'm honored to know you. I admire you know and I'm honored to know you. So bless you. Thank you for your time and your attention. Thanks. Bye guys.