 I need to interrupt right now. I've been experiencing a physical reaction, a mode of blood sugar. And that's been happening this year. And it's brought up a lot of learning. It's been over this past year. It's actively happened. It happened to me last Saturday. And today when I was here, I was very into what I was doing. And I met with my friend yesterday, who's a dietician, and we were talking. And she said, Milba, what if you wear a watch? And she even said, sat in the warm. And I, because she said, don't go too long without eating. But as I said, it's been a lot of learning this year. And I'm sure we all have learning with our body and the course and, you know, the whole thing. So I'm like, I was not fearful today. I saw last week that I was afraid it was going to happen. And it was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. It did a couple of days. But today I wasn't afraid at all, and I left the afternoon go. But when I went home, anyway, I'm experiencing it now. And my ego wants to go, oh no, you know, just a week and bringing up some fear. And I just needed to be present and say that. Because when your body, if you're in pain or it's being very active, I couldn't hear what you were saying. And so I wanted to be present and say that. Right now I've gone in. When I was coming over, well, when you have so-called physical condition, they give you ideas of what you think you need and you accept it. We were talking about that earlier. And so I'm like, okay, I need to eat every so-called hours and blah, blah, blah. But when she said the watch yesterday, I said, oh no, no, Carol. I will not wear a watch with an alarm reminding me when to eat. No, no, no. And I laughed. And I won't. But this afternoon I went through this so-called period without snacking because I wasn't hungry. I was totally involved in here. This is happening. And so my ego is, and my body is uncomfortable right now. But when I was coming over, I thought, oh, I've been carrying food around with me. I don't have any with me. I don't need it. And if I need it, it'll be here. And there were perfect things in the refrigerator and Noel said, help yourself. So I've eaten what they tell me I need to eat right now. But I'm still experiencing it. So I just, I need support. Yeah, it's definitely a mind training program and a mind training system that is helping you undo this belief in linear time and all of the cause and consequences that are tied into that thought system. Jesus calls them spurious cause-effect relationships. What human beings call basic cause-effect relationships, you know, about having too much caffeine before you go to sleep or having a sugar buzz or all the things that, there's a couple examples of this spurious cause-effect relationship. One time I got an email from a woman in Venezuela who became a very close friend. She's a course of miracles teacher and facilitator. And we communicated quite a bit with email. And then she, you know, she said, yeah, you have to come down sometime. I'd like to bring you to Venezuela. And basically at one point we were talking and she said, you came into my dream that a lot of people, many people tell me that I come into their dreams. And basically she said, you came into my dreams but it was like, not just in one dream, it was like a teaching dream where they're teaching all night long. I was just working with you in a very intimate way. We were talking, we were doing a lot of mind training and a lot of metaphysical teaching all night long. And she said, when I woke, I had this feeling that I wasn't to bring you to Venezuela. I was to go to the country where you were in immediately. And so I checked your schedule and she said, I found out you were in Colombia, which is right next door to Venezuela. So she said, I told my course group, I told my friends and family and they said, you need to follow through on this. He's right next door, you need to go. Drive through the mountains where the guerrillas are and kidnaps the people. And you know, rural Venezuela, rural Colombia to go all the way across the country of Colombia in like a 20, 23 hour bus ride through these jungles and so forth to get to Cali. So she did, she didn't have much money. She just had enough money to get her ticket. She didn't have money, she just came. She trusted a friend of mine who was hosting me and Kali took her in. Great, great, you can help out and you can translate for David. So I had a man in a wheelchair on one side who was translating and she came, my friend Carolina. She was there. We had many, many miracles, lots of joy pouring through as we just went, the Holy Spirit ripping through as we were going deeper and deeper, kind of revivals almost down there, deep openness was amazing. And then at some point after like, I mean four or five days of this when she was there translating everything she came to me and she went, oh my God, I forgot my insulin. She said I was diagnosed as a diabetes. I have diabetes. And I came all the way from Venezuela without any insulin. And my gosh, here I've been here translating and I forgot my sickness. I literally forgot it. I got swept up into the miracle and everything and I guess I don't need insulin anymore. She said apparently not. And again, we talked about this the other night that this remembering and forgetting, that perception is selective and the mind is extremely powerful and so when there's unconscious fears or fears about the body or so on and so forth then those fears can get acted out with doctors, with caregivers, with relatives, with friends. There could be a lot of suggestions and ideas given. That is still going in my head since I had an incident last week talking to her yesterday. And I said to, she's a very lovely lady and a friend, I said, I'm getting scared just listening to you because she was laying out exactly what I need to be and I'm trying to learn what's in this and being very specific about food but the bell really rang when she said the alarm on, I'm like, uh-uh. So it's like living with your body and the stuff that's going on and I know the power of my mind. I've seen it very strongly but it doesn't feel good and I can get into self-judgment. I was working that through last week with my other Course in Miracles person. It just so happened, it happened before my other group. I said, thank you Holy Spirit Jesus I'm in a setting to work it through and here I am again this week in this setting. But like most people, I mean my body has been a focus even from the time I was a child for fear and I've been very healthy I've taken very good care of myself but I expect my body to be perfect which, good luck. Yes, it's like everything that's more like barometers and mirrors and reflectors you start to say, wow, the Course is my path I'm going for it I'm getting in touch with a lot of these thoughts and beliefs and the mind and you can almost feel like a gratitude for some of these things coming up that were hidden and buried instead of trying to judge against them and things, you know, when you feel discomfort when you feel symptoms and so forth and really that's using it. It's very much like we talked about like Sarah was mentioning just noticing, noticing, noticing and then really tuning in like okay, what's the lesson there? I don't want to disown something in fact Jesus does say in the Course that the denial of the body is the inappropriate use of denial he comes around with what's appropriate he says, deny the belief that error can hurt you you know, let's go into the mind and if you're going to use denial deny the belief that there's something outside of you that can really hurt you and he kind of, he uses that in lesson 76 and he mentions it in different parts of the text in the workbook so, you know, this idea that's probably one of the most common steps and errors that metaphysical students and Course in Miracle students get into is starting to use this catchphrase it's all an illusion kind of is like a mantra it's all an illusion, it's all an illusion just like a cover you know, all that metaphysical ghosting just ghosting over emotions and ghosting over things that are arising in wanting to, what we're wanting to do is start to let them arise and use them as like cues and reminders of a need to call on the miracle of a need to see it differently just briefly, using that experience as like, oh yeah, there's another way to look at this and that's what a lot of those Course workbook lessons are I am determined to see above all else, I want to see things differently I could choose, I could see peace instead of this you know, there are all these opportunities to turn it around and to open up and to align with spirit instead of just running with the trains of the ego oh, I've not done this, so this is going to happen I've not done that, so this is going to happen other than consequence as if it's laid in stone when you were talking, there's so much subconscious so I know the subconscious that you're getting from medical and my dear friend who's the dietitian that's in my subconscious learning to accept it and look at it differently