 What is up everybody? This is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you are new here, my channel is all about improving your mental and emotional well-being. So if you would like to feel free to click that little subscribe button. I got a ton of videos, but anyways, I want to make a quick video because I've been tripping out like Will Smith, like he's a cool actor. He does some bad movies, but he does some great movies. But anyways, Will Smith is like, I don't know, a couple of months ago, he just like started doing all this like motivational stuff. He started his own YouTube channel. He's been getting involved on social media and like, I checked some of the stuff out. I'm like, dude, this guy, this guy knows what he's talking about. And this new video that he had that I stumbled across on Facebook is talking about fault versus responsibility. And this is something that I try to teach people all the time. But I wanted to show you this clip from Will Smith and then share a little bit about how it relates to me and how it might be able to relate to you. So let's check it out. I was just having a debate with a friend of mine and we got stuck on the difference between fault and responsibility. She kept talking about how something was somebody's fault. Somebody's fault was like, it really don't matter whose fault it is that something is broken. If it's your responsibility to fix it. For example, it's not somebody's fault if their father was an abusive alcoholic, but it's for damn sure their responsibility to figure out how they're going to deal with those traumas and try to make a life out of it. It's not your fault if your partner cheated and ruined your marriage, but it is for damn sure your responsibility to figure out how to take that pain and how to overcome that and build a happy life for yourself. And responsibility do not go together. It sucks, but they don't. When something is somebody's fault, we want them to suffer. We want them punished. We want them to pay wanted to be their responsibility to fix it. But that's that's not how it works, especially when it's your heart. All right. So yeah, like Will Smith is talking about, like there's fault and there's responsibility. And so many of us, we cling on to the fault for a lot of us. That's a resentment. We cling on to that resentment. And I've done other videos about forgiveness. I did one about how Shane Dawson learned how to forgive his father for walking out on him. I also did one about, should we forgive Logan Paul? And the thing that people get twisted all the time is that forgiveness is not an act of kindness towards the other person or letting them off the hook. Forgiveness is an act for ourselves so we can grow and move forward and heal ourselves. But so many of us, we cling on to this this fault of somebody else that we say sick, we say angry, we say resentful, we stay depressed, we stay anxious, we just we're filled full of hate. So like when Will Smith lays down that example of like, yeah, it wasn't my fault that I was the son of an alcoholic mom. It wasn't my fault that these things happened to me when I was a child. These things weren't my fault. It wasn't my fault when my girlfriend cheated on me. It wasn't my fault when other women, you know, broke my heart. It was not my fault. Well, let's be honest, OK, some of some of those breakups were my fault. But anyways, knowing the difference between fault and responsibility helps us progress and move forward. Like something I try to teach my clients all the time is ask yourself, is this useful? Is it useful for me to sit and dwell and hold these resentments and not move forward because I'm sitting there worrying or obsessing about the past and things that weren't my fault? It doesn't really have much use. I'll never forget the first time this really related to me was I was listening to this speaker many years ago when I was first getting sober, working on my mental health and like I had a rough childhood, right? And I listened to this guy speak and to sum up part of his story, he was adopted from the Philippines, brought over to America. He ended up growing up like in the 90s era when AOL chat rooms were a thing and he wanted to run away from home. He ended up meeting a guy online and the guy was like, yeah, sure, run away and come stay with me, right? And he ended up doing that and he ended up getting molested. Well, this turned into a more of a troubled childhood. He also dove into drugs and alcohol and he became a pretty bad kid. He went to a bunch of different special schools and those those institutions for troubled teenagers and stuff. And when he went to one of those, he was physically abused as well as sexually abused, right? And he just went on this downward spiral of drinking and using drugs and all this stuff. Well, when he finally got clean and he met with his sponsor, he shared a story with his sponsor and his sponsor said this and this is something I will never forget because it relates to so many of us, so, so many of us. His sponsor said this to him and this is what I tell all my clients to. I'm sorry that this happened to you, but it's no longer an excuse to live the way that you are living. And I was like, damn, right? Because, like, if this guy went through so much in his life, so much trauma, right? And somebody was able to show him that tough love and say, like, hey, I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm really, really sorry. I know that wasn't your fault, but it's not an excuse to do the things that you're doing to be a drug addict, to be a alcoholic, to hurt your friends, to hurt your family, to hurt everybody you encounter. It is no longer an excuse. And that's some real talk right there, right? We have the power of choice. We have one or two options. Always, always, always. I'll make some more videos on this power of choice that we have. Every day we have a choice. This choice is to dwell on the past, harbor resentments, sit in self pity, right? We can do any of those things or we can do something to work on our growth, our mental, our emotional, our spiritual growth. We have one or two options. The problem is, is that most of us like to dwell. Most of us like to sit in the past, but always remember, always remember, you have a choice. Hell, I'll be honest with you, I'm teaching my son that at a young, young age. You know, a lot of us parents, you know, we have children who get into bad moods. And if you're, you know, if you're a loving parent, you know, sometimes we feel bad when our kids in a bad mood. But something I've, I started teaching my son a couple of years ago, he's nine years old now, is that, OK, we talked about it, we discussed. My son meditates too. And I told him, I said, you now have a choice. You can let this one thing ruin the rest of your day or we can move forward. You have that option. And when I give him that power, when I give my son that power to realize it is now his choice on how he acts the rest of the day. Right. He usually makes the right decision. But so many of us, we sit back and we think that we don't have a choice in the matter when we actually do. So I really want you to start thinking about this, this whole thought verse responsibility. OK. And before I let you go, I'm going to end with this last clip from Will Smith. Your heart, your life, your happiness is your responsibility and your responsibility alone. As long as we're pointing the finger and and stuck in whose fault something is, we're jammed and trapped into victim mode. When you're in victim mode, you are stuck in suffering. Road to power is in taking responsibility. Your heart, your life, your happiness is your responsibility and your responsibility alone. All right, everybody, thanks so much for watching. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you are new here, make sure you click that little round subscribe button right below me and over to the left of me. Click or tap on one of those thumbnails. Check out some other videos on this channel. Thank you so, so much for watching. And I'll see you next time.