 What's going on you guys? So I got a bunch of questions from you guys this week last week pretty much all the time And I get it from guys who are looking to build more confidence And this is the number one thing that I work on in my programs I work on this very intensely with my students And one of the things that I'm trying to cultivate is not just this temporary kind of woohoo Confidence that you get from a lot of self-help But you know, I'm really trying to make sure that these guys develop long-term confidence And it is possible to build you can build long-term confidence that I do it all the time But it really takes a lot of different things. It takes a consistent action, you know effort over a long period of time It takes demonstrated performance. You can actually see yourself doing the things your brain can tell you Okay, I can do this and then finally you're gonna have to ask yourself some really tough questions and dig down To what is the core of your fear? Okay, and these things take a long period of time to do It's something that I'm actually gonna be working on extensively in my workshop this weekend So if you guys want in on that workshop It's just 33 dollars basically just click on the survey below Fill it out and then I'll send you the payment link, okay? So that is how you develop long-term Confidence like lifelong confidence is if you do those things extensively now It's for me to work on this in this video is just gonna be too long So are there some things that I can give you right now that if you implement them You can start building confidence today. Well, luckily there are I'm gonna give you three of these things I've talked about these things here and there But this is gonna be more succinct summary of it. So the first one that I'm going to cover is Go for small goals you want to stack small wins is how I like to think of it Okay, so if you're the type of guy that's going out all the time and you talk to a bunch of women and You know, they don't sleep with you and you go home thinking that's a failure because the women that you talked to didn't sleep with you Okay, well, you're gonna be experiencing a lot of failure all the time You're gonna be telling yourself. You're not you suck. You're not good enough women don't like you But the truth is it's just every guy sleep with every woman that he talks to no No guy does that and to expect yourself to do that. It's very very unreasonable that goal is ridiculous, you know so a better goal might be to To say hey, you know, I hope I can get this girl to smile or I can you know If I have a conversation with her for longer than a minute, that's a win Even before that if a guy can't even hold a conversation can't even start a conversation with a girl that he likes I would recommend that he just start by smiling or saying hi if you can make eye contact with a girl That's a win Dude if even at this point when I go out with all the experience that I have if I go out and I talk to a bunch of Girls, you know, maybe the girl I like doesn't come home with me or I don't you know Get a date or something like that. I still focus on the positives man I'm like that girl smiled at me. She liked me. She wants it Whatever Whatever you got to tell yourself, you know, that's I'm feeding myself with positive feedback So one way that you can start doing this is to write down things that you can do In the you know in the morning or something like that write down very small goals that you can do that You know you can achieve but that's gonna tell yourself it's gonna tell your brain Hey, I can achieve these goals So then when you go up and talk to a girl your brain tells yourself Hey, I've accomplished all these other goals. I could probably accomplish this one, too That's how you start building confidence. You don't start building confidence by beating yourself up and yelling at yourself You build it up by stacking small wins. Okay, so that's the first thing You want to start out with that the second thing that I would recommend that you do is start Visualizing success a big part of what very successful people do is they picture it again and again Now I do a lot of jiu-jitsu and probably the best guy in jiu-jitsu right now I don't know if this is kind of like a niche example. This guy named Gordon Ryan, okay? Gordon Ryan Got his black belt in around five years. He had never done jiu-jitsu never done grappling before which is unheard of You know it typically takes a guy more than ten years to get his black belt and then on top of that It is six fifth and sixth year He won world and he was one of the best no-gi grapplers in the world in just that period He was beating people that had been doing it for you know two decades and been doing it their whole lives every day What put him ahead of all of those other competitors was he says this numerous times He would have to drive two hours to get to practice each way So for four to five hours a day, he's driving and the whole time he's driving He's picturing the moves that he's going to do. He's picturing things that are going to happen Very top-level athletes use visualization drill the business magnates use visualization drills They visualize the success before it happens now the best way to use a visualization drill is to picture the thing Happening but picture things that could go wrong picture potential objections if you're talking to a girl and her friend walks And she wants to leave if you maybe you're you're on a date and the waiter spills I don't know like spills the food on you. How do you react? Make sure that you're reacting with cool calm relaxed confidence the best way possible You handle every single objection or situation that happens to you with the coolest of confidence That way when you do actually talk to a girl You're gonna be that much more confident because literally you've pictured all the things that could go wrong and you're yourself handling them Perfectly, so if it does go wrong, you're prepared to handle it Okay, so visualize things in the future There's so many studies that have proven that this is true And it's something that I do in my life as well, too, and I recommend that my students do okay The thing three is get some help or cultivate your environment Okay, I would recommend getting a mentor or a coach you can even get a therapist as well, too Okay, I get coaches in my life, too And that's one of the reasons why this program exists because building confidence if you just want to be that lone wolf Where you just get the confidence only from yourself you only rely on yourself Well, I would encourage you to look at other successful people that you would consider to be very very confident You know for instance Tiger Woods has a golfing coach Why would Tiger Woods have a golfing coach if he's like the best golfer on the earth? Well, he wants to stay the best golfer on the earth By the way, I don't really follow golf So I don't know if he's still the best golfer on the planet, so don't don't get mad at me if he isn't But he has a golfing coach because he needs another guy there when he's having a bad day What what does he need to do? How do we how does he pick himself back up? How does he get feedback when he's not when he's feel like when he feels like he's hitting a wall? The way I like to look at it is if you just want to be that lone soldier and go after your goals in that way That's fine, but you're gonna be a lot more effective with an army than just being a lone wolf and Having people at your back having a mentor having somebody there to help you out is the best way to do it I mean in my life. I have several coaches I've even I'm even working with guys who are way ahead of me when it comes to dating coaching We've been doing it for a long time that I've learned from and yes I try and make my stuff better But I'm constantly learning and I'm constantly trying to make myself into the best version of who I am and I'm not doing it Just by myself. I'm getting help. I'm using the resources that are available to me and I would encourage you guys to do the same You know, that's why I came out with this program Which is only $33 the cheapest thing I've ever offered ever And it's what it's really designed to do is it's really designed to help you guys through these different processes So, you know, we've talked about approach anxiety. We've talked about this now So if you are looking to build lifelong confidence, I would recommend that you don't try and do it by yourself Doing it by yourself is one of the hardest things to do I did it for years and eventually I ended up getting help and my results just went It was it was an exponential curve after I started doing that. So cool If you guys are interested in that again, the link is in the description box below I would love to see you this Friday guys. If you have any questions, put them in the comment section below I'm gonna be releasing another video pretty much every single day this week So I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow. Thanks a lot you guys. Good luck out there