 For those of you who don't know, he's not diagnosed as a narcissist, but very, very similar experiences with my ex. Hi guys, welcome to my YouTube channel. Today, I have a special guest and we're gonna talk about the philosophy of love. So, bang siya, because I just started my channel this year, like two months ago, maybe, and big time nagad yung guest natin. So, I just wanna share with you how we talk whenever we start our day recording Slipping Pill. I realized pala while editing the video. So, obrang kalat ko mag-explain in nandami kung kinakat na parts ko kasi ang haba. Since I want my videos to be educational kahit na nag-uusap lang kami, nag-legay ako nang mga text in-between. If you wanna know more about the things that I wanna say, you can just pause the video and read for a while. Well, nasa inyong naman yun if you don't have enough mental energy to digest what I'm talking about. Like, for example, pag-good guys sa biyahe or you just wanna relax, eskip nyo nalang and go in nyo nalang reference in the future if may gusto ka yung balikan sa mga sinabi ko. So, for now, here's the full video. My body is hella sore kasi ito ba si Matt, my boyfriend. He recently got certified. Damaas lang yung bot at last time. Yeah. It was one of those things na parang pinag-uusapan naman before when we first started dating. He gave me kasi a program to work out and stuff like that. And then it was working so well. Anong ginawa mo over the weekend? I was thinking about this content because sinabi ko yung kaya girlfriend I'm doing videos with you since we talked about Matt and my girlfriend pag-uusapan natin ang yung love. Okay. But with a little touch of philosophy. Which is what we do best. We always do this kasi on Mondays and Thursdays I record sleeping pill. I told MJ that I always a lot and I also told Matt actually I a lot an hour every time I get here kasi nag-uusap kami ni MJ nag-didiscuss kami and then it always has like a philosophy there. Usual kasi na napag-uusapan yung love like sa friends and family rare yung napag-uusapan siya in a context of philosophy. One of the best quotes na tumataksakin is yung quote ni Renee Dickard. The reading of all good books is like conversation with the finest men of past centuries. So paganda siguro na palikan natin yung mga thoughts ng previous na mga tao and i-compare natin what do people think about love now. But I thought of something different. So magbibigay ako ng quote it's a philosophical quote. Tell me what do you think about it? You can agree or disagree and you can relieve a memory na related don't. Okay, siya. This quote is from Plato from his book entitled Symposium. Yung symposium it's like an after-party drinking session. Ang setting nun kita-kita silen na mga intellectuals din during their time kasama dun sa Socrates, Aristophanes and mga ibang niece-nice-nice-nice-nice. If a man can be properly said to love something it must be clear that he feels affection for it as a whole and does not love part of it to the exclusion of the rest. That means that when a man loves something he loves something wholeheartedly and not just like part and parcel. Oh, yeah. I definitely love wholeheartedly but that's talking about like a romantic love. What do I think of that? True or false? I can't say because I've only been loved by men. So I don't know how men love because I've not been in their brains. I can't speak for them in my experience, false for narcissists. Someone who is a narcissist they would not love you entirely. They love you for what you make them feel and then they will try to change every single little part of you. In my experience is something I don't agree with for those of you who don't know he's not diagnosed as a narcissist but very, very similar experiences with my ex. Oops. Love makes us whole again. I would agree with a little bit of that in a sense getting into a healthy relationship after coming out of a bad one. It doesn't necessarily make you whole again but it does help heal wounds that came from toxic relationships. When my ex and I broke up I took a long time to heal and after a while I thought I was okay na. I was just like I'm good. Like I don't even care about him whatever and then I got into a relationship now with Matt and I started getting triggered with different things that I didn't even realize na parang oh shit, na did trigger ako. Parang bakit I thought I was okay but that's because I was healed in the context of me being single. Yeah. But I still needed to heal that part of me who loves. Okay, okay. That can only come about when you are faced with the same circumstances. Okay. Can you tell na quote-unquote kinompleto ka ni Matt? No. That's me. I needed to complete myself but Matt has been instrumental to helping me heal myself. Okay. So I don't believe that love makes us whole entirely. Yeah. I don't believe that entirely but there is some truth to that. So we talked about Plato. A lot of Christian theology that we follow now is following Plato. There is a theory of worms. Yung kapilang do etong realm na do and then there's an ideal place dun galing yung ganong classing theology ng Christianity. Right, right, right. Which comes to my third quote. This is from Apostle Paul from the Book of Coincidence so balik ilakonsider din siyong philosopher Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I love that quote. I think there's a reason why it is one of the most overused wedding vows ever. Because it's true at the bar. You know how when people say it's such a cliche but you know, cliches happen for a reason. It becomes a cliche because it happens so often. I have a friend. His name is Danny, sub Danny. He told me that his pastor said something to him that really made an impact. He said it to me and it made an impact to me. If you meet someone and you want to know if they're like a good person or someone worthy of your love, you replace the word love in those verses with the name of the person. And if it rings true, then you have a good person on your hands. May mga times pag nasalob ka na ng relationship may cognitive dissonance ang mahikita mo nang nagiging impatient siya minsan. When people refer to the Bible, we also must remember that they're talking about love. Love as its perfect form. You know what I mean? Love is patient. Love is kind. But we're not in our perfect form as humans. So, of course, there will be times when I will get impatient, when my boyfriend gets impatient, when they're not kind, when they boast, because we can't always be. So we have to be as perfect as love. So we give ourselves grace when that happens. Because they say, ta olang, ta olang. I hate that. Sorry na, ta olang. But it's also true when you use it in that sense, ta olang. So, I believe in that. And I believe that it's a good barometer when you replace the word love with the name of someone you love. Or even your mom with the name of your mom, the name of your dad, the name of your sibling, the name of your friend. I think that we should also remember that we will never be able to be perfectly patient, perfectly kind, perfectly hopeful. When we look at the person as a whole, munik is patient. Munik is kind as a whole. And She is very... Ah, deba. And it's like, when you look at that verse, it's something to remind us. Yeah. Deba. I love that quote. I super love that quote. It's a good reminder. I wouldn't frame it and put it in my house. You know what I mean? But it's a good thing to like tell yourself at night. Yeah. Or to read to yourself. Deba, I told you I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and I have a conversation with myself because that's when I... this is where I can be honest. Na parang, come on. You're jealous of the success of this person. Yeah, I kind of am. And then, you know, when you admit these things out loud, that's when you can kind of start to work, deba. Na parang, okay, why are you jealous? I feel like I'm not getting the same... Okay, okay. Then how do we fix that, et cetera? It's the same like with love. Parang, it's a good reminder. Oh, inka ha. Love is patient. Love is kind. Deba, we even had to talk about that. Na parang, because we had a conversation na parang fighting with our significant others. Sometimes you got to take a deep breath, deba? Yeah. And they just got to, yeah, just like sleeping pill it, you know, if you're fighting, yung plug, if you're fighting with your significant other, you listen to an episode of sleeping pill muna. It's actually a good tip. You have to remember that you're on the same side. You're fighting not each other, but the problem. You're trying to fix the problem together. Imagine when that quote comes up when you're fighting. How will that make you feel? What do you think when you see that quote? Yung atribut ko siya dun sa form ni play to yung perfect form of love. Yung dapat maging basis, yung atribut ng love. Although, people might feel like unachievable siya. It's not supposed to be achievable. Hindi siya yung. It should be like an anchor lang. Yeah. I think that's the beauty in it. Being unachievable, so you can keep striving to get there. But to give respect naman sa ating mga Christian friends, ang theology naman nila dito is only one person is capable to do it. And that's Jesus. Yeah. Yung yan. Na-isip ko dito, hindi lang siya sa romantic relationship. Ang babalika natin yung iba-tibang forms of love coming from Plato's writings. Merong Agape, Filia, Eros. I think Eros is the romantic love. The romantic love, yeah. And I think all-encompassing na medyo naging religious tayo. Medyo magiging bastos tayo ng slide. Oh, sige. This one is from 1700s forward dayo. Okay. So si Arthur Schopenhauer. So ang sinabi niya, every kind of love, however ethereal, it may seem to be, springs entirely from the instinct of sex. Parang yung love is tricking us to make us babies. What can you say about it? Context lang. Si Arthur Schopenhauer, isa siya sa mga pessimistic philosophers of all time. Yeah, so- Which is good also. Diba, like I said, it's important to have those like polarizing opinions. So you can explore everything in between. Like just because you believe in something here, doesn't make you completely this. Just because you believe in something here, doesn't make you completely this also. Diba, I always believe in degrees and nuances. I like reading about things like that. So what did he say? He said- Every love is based on a sexual instinct. I agree to a certain extent. I think it depends dine. Kasi, for example, there are people you become friends with that you're not necessarily attracted to, but you became friends because of circumstance, your office friends, your classmates. But like the people that you seek out for friendship, I think there is a subconscious I like the way this person looks. Not necessarily I want to breed you. Not necessarily jumping to that agad, but it's more of like a subconscious. This person is very pleasing to my eyes. It's something that will attract you to them, to talk to them and then you discover that you have stuff in common, you want to be friends. I'm not saying that you are only friends with people that you're attracted to, but you tend to approach the people that you find pleasing to your eyes or that you are attracted to. There is some truth in that. He is very pessimistic because I can hear him almost like, you know, you think you're in love, but it's just your body wanting to procreate. Which is also true. That's what the hormones are for, right? But it's like what they say to the parang. We also had this conversation before I asked you, is it true for your end that guys will not hang out with a girl that they don't find attractive? Like purposely seek out the company of a girl? Like panang, hey, you want to hang out on Friday yung ganon unless he finds her good-looking. To give some context, kung familiar kayo sa everything everywhere all at once. We have a day seg bat pa. So yung bagel? Yes. I wouldn't literally say kinuhan nung film director yung concept nang kayo. Arthur Schopenhauer, but kind of like ganon yung tinutukoy niya sa philosophy niya. He's one of the philosophers na inadap niya yung Eastern philosophy, yung Buddhism and Hinduism. And he's also a follower of Emmanuel Kant. So being where's Kant nang higher being. Right, right. Si Arthur Schopenhauer, there's no God, there's only will. Who's will? Just kidding. Just kidding. Yung simang pala kayo. Please, okay. Yung will, nandun yung sa book niya, marami siyang hiniram kay Kant na philosophy and kasama dun yung thing in itself na parang hindi ito talaga yung reality na everything, but there's no God. There's only a will. It's like a metaphysical something that makes us strive para mahatisfay natin yung will. Imagine being that guy, right? And not believing in God, but believing in an energy inside of a metaphysical energy that, no, it's not, imagine, just like, no, it's not God. It's not God. It's will. Oh, it's will. And you're just like, ah, how do you like, how do you write that out? During his time, si Charles Darwin dun na siyapin ng anak. And yung theory of evolution and stuff. Right. So dun yung na correct. Nah, okay, okay. Yeah. Ah, cool. We'll move forward tayo into something more practical. So dun papasak yung existentialism. Right. So nalaman mo na we're just a tiny speck in the universe. Atheist existentialist philosopher si Simone de Beauvoir. French. Yeah. Love let us reach beyond ourselves. So yung context nun, love gives us the desire to integrate with one another to make life more meaningful. So what can you say about it? Yeah, that's true. Kasi if you believe in God, then may purpose na automatically yung life mo'y. Uh-huh. Is to live like God, be Christ-like and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. But kung walang God, what is the purpose then? Hmm. Naghagita niya yung meaning when doing things with your partner. But not necessarily completing you as a person. Yeah. Tarang nagdadagdag siya ng meaning sa buhay mo. Yeah. Tarang yun yung simple explanation. Yeah. Ako, I love making connections. I enjoy, although I am an introvert, I enjoy making meaningful connections. Like, I pick and choose talaga. I like experiencing things with people. Karang there are some experiences that are heightened by your solitude, that are heightened by being with someone, and also that are heightened by being with someone specific. Yeah. Diba? So it, I definitely agree with that. I don't necessarily know if that is the meaning of life. Okay. But it definitely squeezes more out of it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Out of the experience. A good pairing. You know? Like, you know, you can eat steak by itself, like a nice steak by itself, but if you pair it with like a good red wine, the experience becomes more enjoyable. Panang ganan. Okay. Panang ganan. But like, it's not a must to drink red wine with eating steak. Ikaw, what do you think about it? I think, to begin with yung philosophy niya is existentialism and ang pinopromote nila kasi is to be yourself. Si partner mo is addition to the meaning of your life. Panang ganan siya. It is. Kasi, what happens is when you lose yourself and your partner, you live their life eh. You know? You live life with their rules, how they want it. Or our last quote. The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let it come in. Let it come in. We think we don't deserve love. We think if we let it in, we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, love is the only rational act. So, what do you think about the quote? What do you think first? Kasi ako, I see myself then as a hopeless romantic eh. So, when something like rationality is brought up in the context of love, I need to recalibrate it. Kasi, I believe that it's rational to do certain things for love that others might see as irrational. Okay. Now, I'm calibrating the ba? So, kasi, it's different for me. But so, I want to know about what you think first. I see. Well, for me, I think toto'o yung love is the only rational act. What makes it rational? First, I can use the concept of neuroscience. And number two, concept ng several philosophers that I can relate why love should be rational. Okay, okay. So, din mo lang sa neuroscience, no? Okay. Whenever we meet somebody that we like or we quote and quote love, yes, it's true. Like a drug? Yes, like a drug. Mam, ay mga oxytocin na niririli. No, kung nung, sabang tumatagal, nababawasan nyo whether you like it or not. Kung dati, first date nyo palang So, bang infatuated mo. Yes, so, so, bang infatuated mo. So, bang napatandaan mo lahat nung mga sinasabi niya. It's because of the chemical reactions in your brain. Habang pag tumatagal kayo sa relation, medyo na hakalimutan mo na yung ibang mga details. Pag nagiging common, correct. That's where love comes in. Conscious diffusion. So, kung babalika natin yung mga quotes, shop and hour might be right partially, but I think na-outway nung apat na quotes before, yung pagiging choice nilove rather than just a chemical reaction of the brain. Another one that I can relate, philosopher Emmanuel Kant. Sinabi nya, yung moral actions are duty. Para malaman natin kung ano yung moral action, it should be against our inclination. Punay sa charity, in-invite ka. And then, you're a singer. Pumunta ka don, to sing, dalawa intentions mo, to sing and to help yung mga cancer patients. How can you know that it's a moral act? According to Kant. Well, yes, it can be moral. Pumayag ka. But we can never know, surely, kung moral act talaga yun. Kasi, anong malay ba natin? Baka, ang purpose malang is to show off your talent. Baka, second lang yung ano. That's what we were talking about also, di ba na parang, I read in this book called Awareness. I think it was written by a Jesuit priest. I read it when I was 16. Okay. So, it's been a while. There is always some level of selfishness when you do charitable acts. Kasi, di ba parang, why did you go there? Or why did you perform? Or why did you, parang it's for the people. But also, are you showing off your singing skills? Are you showing off that, hey, I am giving money to charity. That makes me a good person. Di ba? So, it will help others also. But, is it purely a selfless act? Di ba? So, it was an interesting perspective that was introduced to me by that book. Yon, medyo kantiyan siya. Masabi natin 100% moral yung isang action according to Kant. If it's something you wouldn't do? Yeah, you wouldn't do, but you did because it's the right thing to do. Por example, hindi talaga ako makanta. But, hypothetical lang. Ah, yes. But I made this, ay, But you sang for them. I sang for them. That's against my inclination. But I did it because it's the right thing to do. Okay, that makes sense. Then, yeah, that's most definitely a charitable act because you don't really sing. You're not doing it to show off. You're purely doing it for the kids or whatever. The kids. So, kung iarrelate natin yon, dapat sa love binded with moral actions. So, mapapapansin natin when we really love someone, we do things out of our inclination. Like, you're doing things that yung don't normally do. Para mapasayin mo siya. Or para maglast yung relationship niyo. Yeah. How I understood that, okay. Quote, yung the most important thing we can learn is how to give out love. It's giving me no manners and island vibes. It's so important because I think we as humans are social creatures. Okay. Even the most introverted person needs someone. Nga ba? Even the most introverted person has like a pet. Yeah. Or something. They're very social. And to learn how to give love and to receive it also is because something I really enjoy saying about myself is I'm a creature of love. I'm so very love-driven. I love chasing after the feeling of love. Not just the high of it, you know, not just kilig. It's like you know when you're gathered with friends and then you have such a great night of drinking and camaraderie and then you're just like Mayan, that was such a good night. Or when you have like a heart-to-heart talk with your sibling or your cousin or your mom or your dad or when you get to spend a night with your significant other where you're not really doing anything at all. You're just in the same room but you're so comfortable and you don't have to say anything or do anything. You're just there enjoying each other's company. I like being surrounded by that. That's why I made this podcast because there are so many people out there who feel alone who need to feel loved. I have love to give. You know, I say that a lot. Da ba? You edit my stuff. I say that a lot parang you are loved. You're gonna talk. I want people to feel that. That's not just like coming from like a place of like you know how you know what people love to say nowadays like cloud chaser whatever. You're just saying that for like the cloud. I am not. It's something that I really want to do. I started sleeping pill because similar kinds of content made me feel loved when I needed it and I wanted to give it back. And that has made me feel so fulfilled. I like what he said na parang the most important thing is to learn how to give love and to receive it is because a lot of things come from love. Yeah. When you find a passion it's because you have a love for it when and you want to share that love with people. You know, you find that passion and you love it so much and then you give it back to others when people make art when people cook food when people sign up for it makes them feel good to sing so they'll show off a little bit that's receiving love and then giving love back because it's you know it's helping the kids. That's why I always say that it's okay to be selfish to a certain extent as long as you're not sacrificing the well-being of others as long as you're not sacrificing your own well-being be selfish. Love yourself. Be selfish in a healthy way. I feel like that's a good of course it's you know everything in moderation, right? Don't don't do everything all at once or like don't be greedy about it but I think it's okay to be a little selfish like if you're going to do something for the kids to help them why not get a little reward for yourself Daba? It helps make you want to keep doing good things for others if it makes you feel good. I feel like that's part of the most important thing is to learn how to love and to receive love. It's a give and take it's always an exchange Oh, I see. Tomilang that's how I absorb it. So lastly ikaw ba meron ka bang quote that parang magiging air lumwoy ang quote na yan. What is love to you? Yun one word. Love is blank. Love is a verb. Okay. Okay. Yeah. John Mayer. John Mayer. Love ain't a thing. Love is a verb. Yeah. For me love is respect. Love is synonymous to respect. There's a there are many people say love is trust. Love is like this. Love is like that. Love is respect for me because I feel like it also is an umbrella thing. It encompasses trust. It encompasses time. Yeah. Right? Because people are like love is time. I want to spend time with you blah blah blah. Which is also very valid in my experience. Love is respect because as soon as respect disappears that is not love anymore. Okay. That is possession. That is obsession. Daba? That is my quotable quote that I will pass on to my kids and grandkids of the love is respect. When you respect someone and when you are respected they will not betray your trust. You will not betray theirs. You will speak highly of them and they will speak highly of you. You will give them your time and you will not waste their time. We are the modern of philosophers. Kaya mga similarities naman yung point of view nating about love. Kasi sakin love is a verb. It requires commitment. And yung mga nabanggit nating dun is under commitment. When you're committed there's an action and there's a choice. Hindi siya yung feeling lang. Hindi siya fleeting feeling but rather a choice. Yeah, you're right. That's where the love comes in at panang the action itself. I follow this guy. He's a therapist on Tiktok. I will send you his videos. Very, I love his stuff. He says past all those phases past the honeymoon phase and all these things when you guys are annoyed at each other na and you know each other's whatever bahof literally or figuratively speaking that's where the opportunity of true love begins. Yeah. When you know each other's like they have the tendency to be like this. They have the tendency to be like that. And yet you love them anyway and yet you do your best to help them ganito. You don't enable them. Yung mga ganun. Yeah. I think na sabi ko na to sayo but for the sake of our listeners kung familiar kaya sa the trying brain theory the reptilian mind. Ah, yeah. You told me about it. Sige ko. Palayo mamalyan mind. And number three is the neo-mamalyan brain. According to theory of evolution we're actually high functioning apes may pag-animalistic yung nature natin. Punta mo na tayo sa reptilian mind. Yung yung, for example, nag-valable ka or nag-basketball ka. Kung namin na sabi kang ganun. Hmm. Automatic ang response mo ganun ganun. Yeah. Animalistic instinct. Yeah. And yung palayo mamalyan mind do naman responsible yung ating empathy. So as you can see kahit mga aso mga pusa they have that. They have that kind of empathy. Yeah. Yung yung mga compartment ng brain natin na responsible for those emotions or those instincts. You know, yesterday my cat, kasi I have a special cat special needs cat. He gets seizures. So he was having a seizure yesterday afternoon. So I was just holding him. And then my dog, si Raku, he went up and then he was smelling and then he was like oh, oh, hodong worried siya. Worried siya. So that's the one. Oh, palayo mamalyan. Well, we cannot fully call it love kasi instinctive siya. Yeah. So doon papasok yung choice sa third one, sa neocortex or the neomamalyan brain. Because doon papasok yung ano abstract reasoning, logic, morals. That's something that humans have. Yeah. Yung fully develop. Kasi ay yung mga ibang hayop like na did develop siya pero hindi sing develop natin. Right. Ayo tayo may pinaka-develop na neomamalyan part of the brain. Right. Yun yung essence kasi ng mga simba or nang mga meditation I thought, simba? I was like, the lion? Simba. The church. Right. I think yun yung pinaka-practical explanation of worship or meditation is to be in touch with your neocortex. Our actions are often influenced by our reptilian mind palayo mamalyan mind. Right. So kaya tayo nagiging geactive minsan or a lot of minds. And that's why we need the neocortex. That's what separates us. Yun yung kung anong ginagamit natin. Yun yung mas nag-work. Tamatama, tamatama. So yun yung goal ng mga sinasabi sa atin sa religion, sa meditation. And then that's where true love comes in. Yeah. With that neocortex. Yes. We learn to love with reason. So we apply what we learn about with reason. Yeah. Morals. And that's why love is the most rational act. Yes. Kalingawadisot. Okay, thanks for having me on your show. Thank you. Babalik ako.